The Emina Games II
by RiapsedEndOf
Summary: This sequel is a Hunger Games-inspired battle royal pitting multiple fandoms against one another... From TG to DRRR!; Noragami to Higurashi; Kagepro to Shuuen - this is coming to be more than what it seems. Is this a "last man standing" act after all, or is there another end? A multi-fandom crossover is at hand - who will win the game? Complete list of fandoms inside.
1. Intro

**Welcome to the sequel to "The Emina Games," which is... "The Emina Games II!"**

 **...I'm getting better and better at this title thing, aren't I?**

 **Onto the important stuff. For anyone new, this is a Hunger Games-ish battle royal of great fandom proportions - as the summary suggests. The fandoms involved are as follows: _Tokyo Ghoul,_ _Durarara!, Noragami, Mekaku City Actors/Kagerou Project, Higurashi, Shuuen no Shiori project, Mirai Nikki, Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works, Parasyte, Zankyou no Terror, Deadman Wonderland, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood,_ and _Death Note._ However, there will be references to previous players from other fandoms (like _Kuroshitsuji,_ for example).**

 **We'll have our very own game master Muse give us an introduction, so we'll know exactly who's involved. Naturally, this will just be an intro chapter.**

 **This story is written in a way that attempts to include enough detail for even characters you don't know to become vivid over time, so I hope you get to know someone here!**

 **Enough of my blathering, though. I do hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 _"Welcome to The Emina Games!"_ It's a distorted voice, as through a speaker. Unidentifiable, no distinguishing features. Male, female? It's hard to guess. Does it matter? Maybe not. _"There are twenty-six contestants that have been miraculously selected to participate in this wonderful time we'll be having! Tune into the show~_ _We are approaching the end of our sixth day in - let's look at our players, shall we? We have:_

 _"Ken Kaneki of the Realm of Ghouls, who is taking up his own solo group right now in the northern-central part of the city._

 _"Group Unity, consisting of five members of four different realms: Akira Mado and Ginshi Shirazu of the Realm of Ghouls, Shintaro Kisaragi of the Realm of the Heat-Haze, Light Yagami of the Realm of the Death Note, and Shirou Emiya of the Realm of the Holy Grail. These members now take residence in the northwestern suburban area of the game field._

 _"Our Unity Task Force, consisting of Izaya Hachimenroppi - or 'Roppi' - of the Realm of Alternate Personalities and Konoha of the Realm of the Heat-Haze. They're making their way into the city now._

 _"Then there's who I call Group Calamity, consisting of the Yato god and his Nora, whom he calls Hiiro at present - how fun is that? They're from the Realm of the Near and Far Shores._

 _"Tailing them is Seidou Takizawa of the Realm of Ghouls, making up his own group in the northernmost part of the field._

 _"The group conglomerate of ten (or perhaps I should say eleven) on the edge of the western forest: Izaya Orihara and Celty Sturluson of the Realm of the Dark Rider; Yukiteru Amano, Aru Akise, and Minene Uryuu of the Realm of Future Diaries; Rika Furude of the Realm of the Hinamizawa Syndrome; Roy Mustang of the Realm of Alchemy; Juuzou Suzuya of the Realm of Ghouls; Twelve of the Realm of the Athena Plan; and A-ya of the Realm of the Bookmark of Demise, who is currently possessed by the Clearing Eyes Snake from the Realm of the Heat-Haze._

 _"And last but not least, the Outliers group of four making their way towards the western half of the game field: Hideyoshi Nagachika of the Realm of Ghouls, Rin Tohsaka of the Realm of the Holy Grail, Shinichi Izumi of the Realm of Parasytes, and Senji Kiyomasa of the Realm of Deadmen._

 _"Cast your votes, everyone! Who do you think will win the game? Only time will tell, it seems~ We'll just have to find out, won't we?"_

...Click.

* * *

"Not all that glitters is gold, right?"

Game Master Aureus stirred, his golden eyes peering through the dim lighting of his secret hideaway with vague annoyance even though they still glimmered with something playful. He'd been banging his head on his counter in frustration, only to lay said cranium down soon after, arms wrapped around it. Not being allowed out of his underground home could be frustrating, especially when he didn't agree with a lot of what was happening above-ground. People didn't often come to visit the poor guy, save for the occasional player who had stumbled across the wooden hatch leading to his abode, only to receive his dorky optimism and his secret items. He was the items master after all.

But looking up now, he wasn't alone. Leaning against the stone walls of his underground space was a bald man in his thirties, a goatee stretching around his wry smile. His arms were crossed over his chest, his bulk giving off the air of someone almost like a bouncer. "Apparently real gold doesn't even glitter," Aureus remarked in answer. "It's kinda dull." He shrugged as he sat up, then proceeded to stretch. The bald one shrugged right back, and Aureus closed one eye, grinning at him. "What's up, Durden?" Another game master.

"Wanted to see what you thought of the badass turnout so far," Durden replied with a lopsided smirk of his own.

"Badass," Aureus repeated, refraining from rolling his eyes in exasperation. "That's a word for it…"

Yeah, Aureus had saved Kiritsugu Emiya, Shirou's father, from the fate of being possessed by the Clearing Eyes Snake – thank _God_ for that. He'd thought his payback from Muse would be having to deal with an enmeshed monster of a person called Izaya Orihara, possessed and very not-okay. Instead the Clearing Eyes Snake had been directed to A-ya, one of his very own handful of extra-special people.

 _Alright, I'm guilty. There are people I'm rooting for, too…_

… _But, come on, those five shouldn't be messed with – it's_ so _not fair…_

Aureus closed his eyes.

That was right: Celty Sturluson, A-ya, Yukiteru Amano, Shintaro Kisaragi, and Roppi were his. First there was Yukiteru getting messed with by Rodd, the timekeeper amongst the game masters, which had really worried him at first… Especially just going and telling A-ya that suddenly he had friends to return to! Much to Aureus's relief, A-ya had taken it alright, but now…

' _Kuroya,'_ he mouthed to no one in particular. A musing – what should he call this combo, anyway? _…I really don't ship this idea,_ he thought dully, rubbing at his crooked nose.

Seidou Takizawa was a whole different story. Poor Shintaro and Roppi had been led off-track by Durden – _Asshole_ , he thought – and then there was the tragic ending of Touka Kirishima, who evidently hadn't made it. _It wasn't_ that _bad,_ he tried to tell himself. _She died with all those people around her; Kaneki and Akira and Saiko…_ But it still felt rotten in his chest.

Not to mention, Aureus had been rigid in his seat when Seidou had been contemplating the selection of his special item, begging him not to mentally, then shouting at him as he moved to press the button: " _Don't!_ " all while pulling at his golden hair.

His selection had been _FastForward._ That frustrated little human CCG officer Seidou had become known as in-game... well, wasn't like that anymore. Now he was a sadistic (and hungry) artificial half-ghoul that wanted to eat pretty much any other player he saw - particularly the Yato god.

Maybe there was some sadistic part of Aureus wriggling with glee when Seidou had made his selection, but it had gone stale quickly. Oh, how he had wanted to ring up Muse, just to say "Jerk," and hang up. Oh, how he had wanted to rewind him right back, but what would the symbolism be in that? And besides, Rodd had jurisdiction over all the time-related items anyway.

And Izaya was pissing him off, trying to mess with Yukiteru ( _If anything screws with that kid now I'm gonna kick someone's_ butt!), and A-ya was _freaking possessed_ , which needed no other explanation as to why that bothered him even just _a little bit…!_

Here was Roppi using the Harrowing Blade, now, the Harrowing Blade being the special item that Aureus himself had given him. As a blade, it draws out the worst of someone when it draws its victim's blood. Aureus's heart had broken, seeing Roppi lashing out at Kaneki with it. He knew Roppi hadn't meant to. Listening to Kaneki beg for merciful death really hurt. He could almost admit it had gotten him to cry. Almost.

That being said, now both Ken Kaneki and Light Yagami were harrowed - that is, they were acting as the worst part of themselves. Fantastic.

Maybe Aureus was proud of Roppi where he was now. He wanted to clean up his own mess. That was good. But now everything was going _wrong_ besides that, so what was he supposed to do?

"I'm pissed," Aureus said to Durden, a blunt statement.

"I mean, I didn't want Touka to die," Durden shrugged. "It really fucking upset me," he added, pointing at Aureus.

"Then why did you _aid it?_ " Aureus cried, his voice breaking.

"It was inevitable. I let her wake up; come on."

"But you also ended her life."

"You know she needed to die," said Durden, crossing his arms again.

"Ugh…" Aureus tugged at the back of his scalp, using his hair for his grip. "I know…"

"Now, I did come here for something." Durden straightened up, pushing off the stone wall and approaching Aureus in his swivel chair.

Aureus raised his eyebrows, sitting cross-legged on his seat. His eyes almost suggested a challenge. "… _What?_ "

"It's about Light," the other answered, leaning forward with one hand pressed to the counter attached to the wall. "You're the 'items master,' still, right? What I'm thinking, well…" He lifted his hand, holding up to Aureus a slip of paper between his index and middle fingers. "Does he get _this?_ "

"A scrap of the Death Note, huh…" Aureus brought his hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes as though he were exhausted. "He's not allowed to kill Roppi."

"He'd need to know his name," Durden pointed out. "For all he knows, his name _is_ Roppi. But it's not. So." He shrugged. "Seraph doesn't want Roppi dead either; God knows _that._ " He added a little bit of an eyeroll to that one.

Seraph. Another game master.

"Hm…" Aureus folded his hands together, his eyes darkening as he thought. "Who would he _kill,_ though?"

"How should I know? Probably try to kill Roppi, first thing."

"Mm…" _I have an idea._ Aureus closed his eyes. _And I really like it._ Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly. "Do whatever you want, Durden," said Aureus plainly. "I have plans for Light, too. That's all."

"It's a deal," Durden smiled.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed! Though it is an intro and all.**

 **I think for this I will update every Wednesday, so please look forward to it! Feedback is much appreciated, as well uvu**

 **In any case, have a lovely day, everyone~**


	2. Discovery

It was A-ya who approached him. In watching the surrounding people from their combined groups interact, he came to find that everyone tended to find cohesion with others, sticking together like water droplets. Humans tended to work that way. Within the full group of ten in all, they all made small clusters of their own – Celty Sturluson was currently becoming acquainted with Yukiteru Amano, Aru Akise being the catalyst. Twelve and Suzuya seemed to be paired up along with Minene and Rika, and the two pairs gravitated towards one another and made a group of their own. Rika, in turn, absorbed Roy Mustang into the mix.

Of course, in being an observer, A-ya was not a part of any of this… or rather, he didn't feel like he was. All he was doing was watching with his dull red eyes, even though Yukiteru was pulling him along with his little group consisting of himself, Akise, and Celty. A-ya and Yukiteru had been at each other's sides since the beginning of this game, and you could say that they'd grown pretty close. Hell, A-ya had gone so far as to make a wish to a demon that he could remain at Yukiteru's side. Talk about dedication.

Well, it wasn't like anyone else knew about that little detail, though.

But now Yukiteru wasn't so lonely - he had his sly friend Akise, now... And as much as the mysterious biker Celty piqued A-ya's interest, he couldn't help but notice that there was still one person apart from the others, watching from a rock with a smile on his face and a distant sort of satisfaction in his eyes.

Mumbling to Yukki that he was leaving for a bit, A-ya approached Izaya Orihara, the demon once called Kuroha stirring inside for some reason or another. _It's hardly fair that you can know everything going on in my head, but not the other way around,_ he thought.

 **You don't want to know what my mind holds, Loner,** answered the serpent.

He almost found the response humorous, but then disregarded it and took to focusing on the world around him – Kuroha wasn't kidding when he said to be careful of Izaya, so that would be the plan. "You're off on your own, over here," A-ya commented, his tone as monotonous as ever.

"I like to watch and listen," Izaya answered with a twisted smirk. "Care to join me?~"

In answer, A-ya sat beside him on the rock. "An observer, huh?"

"That I am, not unlike your friend there, Yukiteru-kun…" Izaya paused. "…Not unlike yourself." A-ya made a small grunt of agreement, but the Eskimo-esque informant continued, "But A-ya-kun finds it rather boring, usually, doesn't he, now?"

"Mundane everyday isn't the most exciting," A-ya admitted, "but I'm coming to find that the boredom I once loathed was actually happiness. Strange, don't you think?"

He laughed. "Not at all! You're _nostalgic_ , hah?~ You know not what you wish for, hm? Sounds like that kind of idea, but A-ya-kun… stagnancy is the epitome of abnormality. One cannot remain stagnant, for humans are subject to change at any time. It's the way they are, you know? If you really, truly hate the everyday, then you must constantly evolve! That's the answer~" He held up a silver-ringed index finger. "It doesn't even matter whether you aim higher or lower."

"Constantly evolve, huh?" A-ya repeated. He thought on this, back to the days spent with his makeshift Occult Club. Somehow it felt like it was a repetitive existence, as though it was the same thing, over and over… The same day… The same patterns…

The serpent was snickering.

 _Reset, huh…_

"Maybe we're all part of a play," A-ya remarked suddenly, and Izaya blinked at him, curious.

"Hah?"

"It's all scripted, the same day, over and over and over again, and all we do in the end is reset the actors on stage to play the same scene again and again."

Izaya smiled at him while A-ya listened to the distorted chortling of Kuroha. "A-ya-kun, if you can achieve that, that is a feat indeed. To manage it, well, it sounds incredibly unlikely! And that's what makes it interesting." He grinned wider. "As ironic as that sounds."

"It's not ironic at all," said A-ya, his eyes becoming distant as he stared at the ground beneath the rock they sat on. "You're a showman yourself… You like writing the scripts. You like creating the play itself… Isn't that right, Izaya?"

The information broker's eyes narrowed as his smile thinned in a mix of suspicion and pleasure. "That's right." Closing his eyes nonchalantly, he shrugged. "If I were to be completely honest here, I'd have to admit that in the end, all of you are still just pieces to the game."

"I bet you do it, too," A-ya said softly, and Izaya glanced at him in interest.

"What's that, A-ya-kun?"

A-ya put his hands out in front of him as though to present something. "You create tragedy… No… you don't even have to create it, really. You just take a person's preexisting tragedy… Take that, and project it as a comedy to the audience."

Izaya watched as the boy's eyes became wide in fascination as he thought things up in his head. As his red orbs shone with a distinct thrill, yeah, the same kind of thrill and excitement that Izaya recognized in his own satisfactions. "Hah?~" He snickered joyously. "Say, sounds almost like spreading a rumor!"

"Huh?" A-ya stared at him blankly. He'd been caught up in his own thoughts. _Rumors…_ "Do you know the best way to start a rumor?"

"There _is_ a key phrase that humans latch onto," Izaya grinned.

" ' _Don't tell anyone else,'_ " they chimed in at the same time, and the informant cracked into highly amused snickering. A-ya had lit up – his usual stoic expression had become one of ecstatic joy, his eyes shining with some form of fixation.

"The internet is one of the best places for that kind of thing," Izaya pointed out, holding up a finger again.

"Oh yes," A-ya was nodding emphatically. "The internet leaves people even more gullible – you could pretend to be anyone you wanted!"

"Exactly," Izaya laughed. He found it oddly alienating yet refreshing to hear someone going on about the exact things that he did. "But in the end, all of them are so foolishly gullible, aren't they? All the time~"

"They are—but it wouldn't be fun otherwise, right?"

"Not at all! It's the reason I love, love, love humans~" The information broker clapped his hands together, and A-ya leaned forward, his eyes practically sparkling.

"As fun as they are, it's even more captivating to learn about the odd ones out, the ones that make no logical sense – the myths, the legends, the occult…!"

"Did you know, A-ya-kun?" Izaya was raising his eyebrows in his cold sort of amusement. "Celty-san is quite the abnormality, under those terms. Things like that are very real, and probably exist even in that boring world of your own… Yes, that's right, A-ya-kun. Celty isn't human at all, and she and I are from Earth just like you, if from a parallel realm."

"Celty… not human?" A-ya repeated, eyes widening. He was leaning in further, enraptured in such a thought. "Then what…?" He began drawing from every urban legend that could occur to him. She looked at her, in her dark biker suit and yellow helmet, obscuring where he might have been able to perceive a face. The way she tapped at her phone and held it up to Yukiteru to communicate.

Bike rider… helmet? Maybe—what if she was _headless?_ It would explain her being mute! Headless, rider? Headless horseman, or one of the Blemmyes – some sort of spirit wandering? What could it be? "I had suspected something was interesting about her, but I couldn't guess what it was, see, because there's always the possibility of your realm and my realm having different myths, different legends… I was going to ask, but then ended up not doing it just because I—I don't know, I kinda stopped caring because maybe I was thinking too much about other stuff, but _not human!_ What is she? Do you know? I'll ask her even if you don't say."

Izaya blinked with a comically blank expression, as though he actually didn't know how to react to this kid's outburst of utmost excitement. He almost thought he was cute. His mouth twitched in supreme delight. "In my realm, she's known as the Dark Rider, riding a jet-black motorcycle: the greatest urban legend of Ikebukuro…!"

A-ya was on the edge of his seat in anticipation.

"Because, under that helmet…"

"…there's nothing," A-ya breathed. He looked at Izaya, maintaining eye contact. "…There isn't, is there?"

Izaya shook his head, unable to contain his mirth. "Nothing at all! Isn't it great? But the bitter irony is that for the longest time, even _she_ didn't know what she was, exactly! It's funny, really… She lost her head!"

"She _lost_ it?" he repeated, amazed. _What a story…!_

He was nodding, leaning in himself now, having lowered his voice like he were telling something he shouldn't. His hand was cupped around his mouth in a secret-telling fashion. "So Celty-san doesn't even remember anything about what she's supposed to be, or how long she's been alive, so on and so forth…"

"What a mystery!" A-ya exclaimed in even further intrigue, keeping his own tone down now too.

"Yes, yes~ She's been searching for her head since she first woke up – apparently she thinks it's somewhere in Japan…" Izaya's mouth twisted. "Now, it took some digging, but I figured out exactly what she is." The informant was pleased by how he was pulling A-ya along, so caught up in the tale. "A-ya-kun, have you ever heard of a Dullahan?"

"A headless rider, after all!" His fists were gripped in front of him like he were containing himself, his shoulders bunched around his neck in excitement. His arrowed _ahoge_ was pricked up happily on his black-haired head. "A Dullahan of Celtic folklore, of course… Hell, her name is _Celty_ …"

"I see you do." Izaya's red-brown eyes were shining in satisfied entertainment.

A-ya calmed down some, tilting his head slightly and smiling wryly at his new partner in legends and myths. _I can't wait to tell—_

… _C-ta and B-ko…_

A pause. Neither of them had made it through these games.

… _I want to tell Yukiteru about it tonight._

"You're the one that has her head, aren't you?" A-ya asked softly, knowingly.

Izaya scoffed, brushing off the accusation with good humor. "I've no clue what you're talking about~ I'd never do such a thing, you know?~"

"…Ah," the dark-clad boy answered, not buying it. He looked out at the others, observing once more. Having had his fun, Izaya turned out to look too. He found that the smile playing at his mouth slipped off rather quickly.

* * *

What was left of Groups 4 and 5 took residence for the night in one of the houses dotting the edges of the long dirt road that bisected the southern half of the game field. The houses had all been riffled through already, it seemed, but there was no one in the surrounding area according to Shinichi Izumi with his heightened hearing and Rin Tohsaka with her heightened sensing of the spirit. None of the places had been emptied, so they were able to eat dinner and take rest for the night. They decided they would put one person on watch at a time, and first up was Senji Kiyomasa. Senji and Rin bickered a bit over dinner, as had become their routine for just about every situation. Hideyoshi Nagachika, or Hide, joined in heartily, much to Rin's annoyance. Shinichi was very quiet, but with a joyously teasing remark from Hide, the bleached-blond-haired boy managed to earn a slight chuckle from the partial parasite.

"You know," Hide remarked to him as they were readying themselves for bed, "you kinda remind me of him – my best friend, yeah?"

Shinichi blinked at him, tilting his head slightly. A single strand of his slicked-back brown hair fell over his forehead. "…Kaneki?" He wondered if perhaps he was talking about the one that Shinichi had never gotten the chance to meet – the one he wasn't anymore, just like Shinichi wasn't really Shinichi. Yes, he had faced the ghoul Kaneki in these games, but something told him this bleached-blond boy didn't speak of the same boy.

"Yep, that's the one! Don't worry, it's a compliment. It means I wanna be your buddy," he beamed, nudging him. "Have good dreams about good stuff. Like—puppies, or something."

Gaze softening, Shinichi nodded slightly. He'd sleep just a little bit better that night. He dreamed of his parasite Migi and the late Ciel Phantomhive, both of which he had failed to protect. He dreamed of meeting Kaneki. Oddly, he had black hair, but somehow that felt right.

Soon the nightmares would blot out these images, but in those moments, it was a beautiful vision.

* * *

"Why are we stopping?" asked Roppi, voice taut. His dark-sleeved arms tensed around the shoulders of the one whose back he was riding on for transport. He was rather impatient.

"Ah, there is a food building…," Konoha answered, tone spacey. As usual. This android was never really 'with it,' so to speak. He tilted his albino head, watermelon eyes wistful.

"No," Roppi said harshly, and considered hitting him with the butt of his machine gun. Tightening his jaw, he stopped himself.

"Oh," Konoha said softly, and continued forward.

"Eh, you can put me down for now," Roppi grumbled, and Konoha gently let him off of his back and onto the street. Situating his machine gun in his arms, he looked at Konoha. "Okay. Konoha, what's the update?"

"Update? On…"

"On who's nearby," Roppi frowned. "You said you could hear people from far away."

"Oh, yes!" Konoha lit up, if expressionlessly so. "Yes, I can do that. There are two people that way, not too far," he said, pointing north. "And someone closeby, here," he pointed somewhere up ahead.

"Well, Kaneki's not going to be with anyone," Roppi said bitterly, and went on walking alongside the android. "So let's go for the single person up ahead."

"Okay." Konoha nodded.

"How do you do the hearing thing, anyway?" The raven-haired one squinted at the android, eyeing his yellow headphones. "Is it just because you're an android, or do you have some kind of enhanced headset… or something?"

"Huh?" He blinked in answer.

"Can you hear because of your ears, or your headphones?"

"I don't understand."

"What do you _mean_ you don't understand?"

Konoha paused in walking looking at him with a furrowed brow. "I'm… sorry—ah!"

"Well, I'll just see," he muttered, tugging on one of his headphones.

"D…don't pull that… it—hurts…"

Drawing his lips into a thin line, Roppi released him, leaving Konoha to rub at his headphone with tears in his eyes. _Okay… so… his headphones…_ are _his ears. Got it._ He looked at the sky. _Why did I choose to run off with this guy, of all people?_

"Ah, Roppi."

"What."

"Is Ka… ah… ne, ki? Kaneki?"

"Yes. Kaneki." Roppi was finding his patience was wearing very thin with this one.

"Is Kaneki… not okay?"

"Of course he's not!" Roppi snapped, and Konoha flinched. The bitter one looked away, realizing he'd probably hurt his feelings or something stupid like that. "I fucked up, which is the whole reason we're chasing after him…"

"I do not understand the term 'fucked up.'"

"I swear to god." Roppi started walking again. Konoha stared after him a few seconds before jogging to catch up, then walking alongside him again. "I messed up, Konoha. That's what it means."

"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry."

"Well, _I'm_ the one who needs to apologize to _Kaneki_ right now, so spare your breath. How far ahead is he?"

"He is in that next building." The albino pointed to one of the longer, narrower ones.

Roppi's brow furrowed. _I don't know whether I'm recognizing this right, but… isn't this the spot where we first met up with Group 1?_ His mind mocked him, _The place where Delic died, right?_ He ignored himself, and stepped forward earnestly, entering the building without hesitation. "Do you know what floor he's on?" he asked the android quietly, but he only shook his head.

"I am sorry, I just know that here we are."

"Thanks. I can take it from here," he brandished his gun in preparation.

"It is dangerous in this world," Konoha insisted softly. "I will also come."

Roppi remembered how the bullets from this machine gun had bounced off of the Gourmet as if it were nothing. Granted, that made it all the better to use against Kaneki, right? Because he didn't want to _hurt_ him…

He realized that maybe he hadn't thought this through. He realized he didn't care. He kept going.

"Kaneki," he called out to the eerily familiar building. The sun had set, and none of the lights were on inside the building. Konoha followed behind him as he went from hallway to hallway through the dark. "I'm just here to talk. I told the others what you had to say… But I wanted to finish our conversation… so…" He swallowed. His throat was oddly dry. _Amazing that calling out to this one person is more rattling than going against a full group on my own._ Roppi took a deep breath and released it slowly. There was no way it had to do with the fact it was pitch black, no, not at all. Not to mention Konoha's eyes were glowing fucking pink. Seriously. "Come on out… I really don't like this game of hide-and-seek right now…" He passed by the area that had the items pillar; it was thrumming and pulsing with something that made his skin crawl for some reason. The glow hurt his eyes as much as the Voice would hurt his head; the voice of the one running this stupid game. He expected the static silhouette to come out of nowhere, congratulating him on his find. So he skirted the hell around that thing, and the room remained relatively quiet, save for that god-awful humming. _That's where Tsuki got his medical bag,_ he thought absently, and he felt an ache within him. He pushed it down.

"Are you on a different floor?" he tried again, and was annoyed to find that his tone sounded weak to his own ears. He cleared his throat. "I can go upstairs…"

It was in the thin hallway before the couch area where his and Kaneki's groups had first really interacted, right after Delic's death. Yeah, that was right, Kaneki had helped set his arm, and at that time he had seen, seen the cuts, the proof of his self-loathing, the…

He heard wet sounds, the sick kind that made him think of the sounds of Light being pierced through the gut only to have Kaneki's kagune get ripped back out of him again. There was dripping. Gnawing. The sounds of a carnivore. Roppi's heart was beating in his ears. Up ahead, he could see very dim lighting creeping around that corner.

Shakily, he held up a hand to tell Konoha to stay back. Carefully, he rounded the corner to find himself in a dimly-lit, eerily flickering version of the couch room, a wraith standing in the center of the room and staring straight through him with wide eyes rimmed with black. One was glowing red, the sclera pitch black. Oh, shit.

 _That's not Kaneki_.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed! Now, to my anonymous reviewer...**

 _ **Pain anon:**_ Golly gee, are you kidding? I couldn't be more happy - thank you very much for the review! ;; Keeping characters in-character is one of my top priorities, so it truly means a lot. I'm really very glad you like it! You have a lovely day yourself~


	3. Encounter

_Carefully, Roppi rounded the corner to find himself in a dimly-lit, eerily flickering version of the couch room, a wraith standing in the center of it and staring straight through him with wide eyes rimmed with black. One was glowing red, the sclera pitch black._

That's not Kaneki.

...

Licking his blackened lips without expression, the pale white-haired half-ghoul called Seidou Takizawa straightened up, peering at Roppi as though from the dark. Much to Roppi's horror, there was a half-eaten arm gripped in Seidou's hand, the remnants of a white jacket and pink shirt just barely visible from where he stood. _…Delic._ Roppi found himself taking a step back. "What are you doing?" he tried to ask, but it came out choked; breathless.

Seidou stared him down, looked at the arm, then back at Roppi. " **…Oh. This is cute.** "

"Wh…"

" **What, is it your cue to find me here? What a sardonic set-up. Probably. Or a sardonic coincidence. Either way.** " Roppi's former teammate smacked his lips. " **My entire life is sardonic.** " His mouth twisted into something like a grin. " **I heard you calling for… for… oh, you know. Him. Kaneki.** " He paused. " **Maybe I'm living in a satire. Is that funny?** "

Roppi shook his head. "What are you doing," he tried again. It didn't sound like a question, but it actually made it out of his throat this time, so that was good enough for him.

" **Huh? Well, Roppiii~** " A crescent grin stretched over Seidou's face – a _sardonic_ grin, if you will. " **He always said 'Delic' was short for 'delicious,' right?~** " He tittered, swaying in pleasure. " **You know, the very, very best part is actually the head, most blood, lots and lots. Love it! But I already finished that. No, no, that look on your face, that thought in your head is wrong. This isn't all that's left of him, no, I really only took the head and the arm, I** _ **prooo**_ **mise. Really! I have no reason to lie about that.** "

Roppi stared at him in shock. "What the fuck."

" **Hm?** "

"What the actual fuck."

Seidou began to titter madly once more before the smile dropped suddenly from his face as he leaned forward. " **What, you scared?** "

"What the _fuck_ happened to you to fuck you up this bad?!" Roppi cried, bringing a hand to his head. "No, _seriously!_ You were our _leader!_ We need you…!" He stopped, biting his lip; he didn't want to let too much slip here. _I need you, you piece of shit…_ He refrained from closing his eyes.

Seidou tilted his head, his snow white hair falling to the side. It covered the eye that was still considered human. " **…Really. That so?** "

"Yes, you fucking asshole; we needed you, so get the hell back and—"

" **What did you need me for, exactly?** " Seidou inquired of him, tone biting. His mouth was downturned in a perpetual scowl, his bloody teeth bared." **To remain with Group 1 and make sure the alliance was sound? As a responsibility buffer? What?** "

Roppi swallowed again, guilt gutting him. He became painfully aware of the fact that he'd gone AWOL and left Seidou and Shintaro behind. What's more, Shintaro had followed after him, and by the time they'd gotten back, Seidou had somehow turned out like this. "Seidou… I ran off because I was being a dumbass… Please don't pin it on that… I'm _sorry_ , Seidou."

" **Apologies do shit,** " Seidou spat back at him, regurgitating the very acid that Roppi had coughed up soon after Tsuki had died.

Realizing he, himself, had said the same words to Shintaro, Roppi staggered backwards until he felt Konoha at his back. He looked up in fear to see Konoha staring with those gentle eyes back down at him. His fear and shame became rage, and he began stalking forward again with new life. " _Fuck you,_ Seidou. The fuck is this bullshit? What, you saying that 'cause you don't know how to go about making your amends to the people who are already fucking _corpses?_ " Seidou blinked, taken aback. "You are eating _Delic's body._ You tried to _save_ him! It's just fucking ironic that now I'm standing with the person whose body _killed him_ ," - here Konoha touched his chin in distant regret - "...and here you are chowing down on his remains like no tomorrow! What the _fuck?!_ Tell me!" He stepped forward again. "What the hell happened to respecting the dead, Seidou?! You tell me! You tell me right now!"

" **What's the difference?** " Seidou answered, his tone dead. His head was tilted back slightly, his eyes wide with his eyeballs swiveled to stare at him. " **They're dead anyway… aren't they, Ro~ppi?~** " Seidou took to laughing a deranged and bitter laugh.

Roppi's red eyes narrowed at the gross reiteration of his own bitterness. "…Seidou…" His tone was low. How was he supposed to get through to him? "You, were a good leader…"

" **Bullshit,** " he spat. He took a threatening step forward, but Roppi stood firm. Konoha tensed slightly, ready to move. " **You think I'll buy that? Good leader? Bwahaha~ Is that how you're gonna try and snap me outta this? Yeah? Ooo, is that really what you think?** " His eyes shone, he stepped forward, his mouth beginning to upturn. The arm of Delic was dropped to the ground, discarded. There was a manic glow to him, but it was still _a glow_ , and from this black hole of a man, Roppi figured he was getting somewhere. " **Roppi, is that really, really what you think? What you thought? What you're thinking? That I was, I was, I was a…?** "

"You asshole, I don't give compliments unless I fucking mean it," he said, more confident in his words.

Seidou's eyes closed in something like contentedness, and Roppi relaxed until he found Seidou's face only centimeters from his own, eyes wide as dinner plates and expression dead. Roppi didn't have time to react to the cold, bloody hands at his throat. " _ **Then fucking listen to your superiors.**_ **DON'T YOU GO ON SAYING YOU RESPECT ME ONLY TO** _ **SHIT**_ **ON ME THE NEXT SECOND!"** He was shouting at him, his tone rising and rising like an eruption of raw resentment. Roppi was in the air with Seidou's hand at his throat; he couldn't hear the sound of the machine gun falling with a clatter to the ground, or the outcry of Konoha, caught in the moment of asphyxiation and grabbing what felt like the wrist of a dead man with one hand while he reached on instinct for his knife with the other. The Harrowing Blade.

 _You can't use that,_ he thought as his vision blacked out.

All of this only took a second.

Roppi felt a jerking sensation, and a gust of wind. He regained his senses in a heap on the floor, dazedly piecing together the image before him. Konoha had run for it, separating the two with his android arms, sending Seidou skidding backwards across the floor. He stopped himself with his heels and a hand that he pressed to the ground, leaning forward with his face contorted into an animistic mask of disgust and torment. " **Seidou Takizawa was a failure as a leader. He wasn't meant to be one, not here, not ever. Seidou Takizawa wasn't a good leader… No…** " He slowly rose, removing his hand from the ground and tilting his head almost at a ninety-degree angle. " **I do hate that about him,** " he said, his teeth bared.

Konoha was standing with a wide stance, prepared to stop Seidou from trying to hurt Roppi again. Roppi was staring in terror. _He really believes the shit he's saying right now,_ he thought, and tried to answer him only to choke, holding his throat and swallowing a few times to try and regain proper speech.

" **Don't go and try to 'get back' Seidou Takizawa,** " Seidou said to him, nearly growling his words. " **You cannot** _ **'get'**_ **me back. There's nothing** _ **to**_ **'get back.' I killed Seidou Takizawa a while ago, and** _ **he fucking deserved it.**_ **Tell me… what is it you two fear?** " He straightened, his shoulders relaxing. His eyes remained wide, but his human eye was so pallid it looked empty in this eerie half-light. " **I already know… Roppi… that you don't fear death. I don't hate that. Fear is a curious thing, you know – people fear what is apart from themselves, like men and women. Night and day. Moon and sun. You must be close with death, I can tell. Otherwise, you wouldn't have longed for it. How do I know? Yeah, maybe the fear is in me being able to tell, but that's more 'shame' than fear, isn't it?** " He took a step forward, laughing vaguely. " **I see that easy in your face, but then, what is it you fear, Roppi? I'm curious. Maybe, I can help. People fear death, because they are living themselves. It is apart from them, and therefore, they fear. You've died yourself, haven't you? When was it? When did you die?** "

"Do you really want to know?" Roppi asked him, his voice breaking. Konoha glanced back at him.

" **I'd** _ **love**_ **to,** " Seidou answered, his eyes crescents tilted pleasantly upward like frowns. It struck Roppi as ironic that when people smiled, when the eyes smiled, yes, they made the shape of a frown… if vaguely so. He wasn't sure why this came up in his head.

Kneeling on the ground with one hand to his neck almost as if to stabilize his larynx, Roppi looked up at him, feeling the vulnerability of ages past. He felt himself clawing his way out of saran wrap, no, cellophane – yeah, you could _see_ through your shell, your cell, but you couldn't really _breathe;_ you couldn't really be _free._ He felt his own pale lips trembling in anticipation of the words on his breath. "I died," he said, "when my mother killed herself." His words were heavy, he released them and felt heat tickling his cheeks. He tasted salt. The cellophane, his cell, yes, he felt it break. _I've never told anyone,_ he thought distantly, and Seidou just looked at him with a generally unconcerned expression. "I died," he continued, "when I found her hanging there from our fucking ceiling fan, strung up like a decoration. Yeah, she was a bitch, and now a murderer. It wasn't herself, it didn't take one, no, that rope took two, and I… didn't notice." He laughed breathily, feeling a trembling throughout him, the tremor of a demon's escape. Exorcism. He looked at his teammate with new eyes, shining with tears that were spilling over like streams that could fill that cup those psychological assholes always talked about. _Half-full? Half-empty? Just fill the damned cup._ His vision was blurred in his clarity, and he thought maybe he was smiling. He couldn't tell. "Seidou, I didn't even notice," he repeated. He seemed somehow pleased, somehow thrilled, yet still sodden with sorrow.

Seidou looked back at him with his clear eyes and blotted mentality, his expression impassive. His eyes were aloof. " **Ah, your mom died, huh? I remember that now. Suicide, really… What an easy answer to the unsolvable. What a bitch. What a… a… Wonder why she'd do it. Wonder, I wonder. Roppi, hey…** "

Roppi stared back at him, tilting his head ever so slightly in indication of his acknowledgement. He chose to ignore the prods and pricks, though he felt himself flinch at some of his words. In emerging from his protective casing, the raw flesh was exposed. His insides were showing, and Seidou knew it.

"… **Do you know what happened to my mother?** "

Roppi searched his memory, scrabbling around for something in his head. _Don't tell me his mom did that too._ But all he could come with was an askew memory of a time where that asshole of a Voice mocked him and his mother… Then, yeah, they told them whether the close ones were okay, right? Hadn't Seidou's mother been fine? _No, that wasn't it… but, he did fast forward…_

" **I ate her.** "

Roppi twitched, feeling something rising in his throat that he couldn't identify. _Was_ it horror? He couldn't even tell.

" **And she… tasted—** _ **good**_ **.** " He was bringing his hands to his face, his eyes quivering in their sockets.

Roppi felt the sudden need to get the hell away from there, his heart beating in his ears. His only thought was, _Holy shit._ He glanced at Konoha only momentarily to find that he looked vaguely confused as ever. He didn't want to look away from Seidou – he was like a car crash: you don't want to look, but you can't tear your gaze away. That was what Seidou was.

" **Good, good, good, good,** " he said mildly, beginning to curl forward, laughter burbling in manic fashion. " **Good, good, good. Hiihiihii, goooood.** " His eyes were flickering with the dim, yellowish lights. " **A, a, aaa…** "

Roppi fancied that he saw something flickering in those eyes, maybe some _one_ that he was hoping to get through to. He remembered the fumblingly earnest group leader that they had, his brown eyes fiery in their determination. The man before him had only broken, hollow, cold orbs. Suddenly Roppi felt only a heavy sadness. "If I hadn't run off… you wouldn't have made that selection," he said softly. "We wouldn't be having this twisted conversation, and you'd be okay…"

" **This was** _ **inevitable!**_ " he snapped, making Konoha jump.

"No it wasn't, damn it!" Roppi snapped back. It hurt his throat. He didn't care. "Fucking snap out of it, you jackass! We want you back! _I_ want you back, and that's fucking saying something here! I don't _care_ who you ate, we'll just have to fucking deal with it!"

" **You are the** _ **last**_ **person I wish to hear that from,** " he answered lowly.

"I was just fucked in the head!" Roppi cried. "I still am! I know it! We're _all_ screwed up! I know! I know it…! But—but Seidou, I… I brought back the medical bag… It's back with the others… Shintaro shoved some sense into me, so we can go back and maybe you're fucked up more than before, but _Seidou_ … please… I want to fix this. I didn't want this to happen to you, I didn't mean for _any_ of this… to…"

" _ **You think I wanted THIS? You think I WANTED THIS?**_ " Seidou staggered backwards." **I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! I couldn't** _ **HELP IT, can't**_ **HELP IIIT!** " His shouts of bitter resentment became a rising outcry of remorse. Torment.

"Seidou…"

" **SHUT THE FUCK UP!** " he screeched, his kagune bursting from his back in the form of red wings. " _ **Leave! Leave! LEAVE!**_ "

"Seidou, wait—!" Roppi began, but Seidou broke through the ceiling as the other at last regained his footing. Before Konoha could jump after him, Roppi grabbed the android at the sleeve. Konoha blinked at him, and they listened to the sounds of glass shattering – Seidou had likely left out of one of the windows of the upper stories.

"But, your friend…," said Konoha softly.

"If he can be saved," Roppi answered slowly, "I don't think… I don't think it can be by me." His voice cracked. _Yeah, I'm not made for saving…_

"Why not?" Konoha inquired.

"It's… a long story… but…" He trailed off into silence, and the albino tilted his head.

"…But, what?"

A rueful smile tugged at his mouth. "But I've realized something. Thanks to him…" His head lowered. "…Thanks, Seidou…"

"What is it?" asked Konoha, and the other didn't answer. "Roppi…? Ah…" He held his shoulders. "Oh, your eyes are wet… It's running down your face, Roppi. …Ah… I don't know… how…" He paused, furrowing his brow slightly. "I cannot say whether things will turn out as you wish them to," he said quietly. "I cannot make a promise that might not be right. But… It will end sometime. It has to, I think." He held Roppi in his cold but oddly comforting embrace. The darker of the two refrained from resisting even though he wanted to. He didn't hug back, but Konoha didn't even notice. "It has to," he reiterated, closing his strawberry eyes and feeling Roppi tremble in his arms, tensed up like he was trying not to shake.

"The last thing I said to him before this was a lie," Roppi murmured. "Back before, he was a lot different. And the last he got of me at that time… I mostly ignored him or snapped at him… I don't think I could get through to him, now. I don't think… it _can_ be me…"

"Sometimes we can't be the ones who save the people we want to," Konoha said soberly. "We all wish for that moment where we can actually say, 'See you next time.' But… sometimes there isn't a next time. And sometimes things change too fast. I, too, will wish for you to be able to say that to him."

Roppi chuckled brokenly. "'See you next time,' huh…? I've never said that to anyone… I don't like saying it; it means I expect to see them again. And humans… well… people, are unreliable in that way… most of the time." He closed his eyes. "I think I want silence."

Konoha blinked. "…Okay," he whispered, and allowed the quiet to blanket them.

* * *

"You know what, Konoha?" Roppi asked eventually, after a long and comfortable time of nothing at all. By now the two were sitting on the couch, Roppi with his elbows on his knees and Konoha with his hands placed gently on his lap, sitting with perfect posture save for his slightly downturned head. Wordlessly, Konoha looked at the other, who still gazed at the floor. "Thank you."

Konoha blinked. "You're welcome. What are you thanking me for?"

Roppi shrugged as he sat up, then leaning back on the couch and putting a hand to his forehead. "I'll have to thank Seidou, too. Whether he listens or not. I want to thank him… for a lot, actually. One thing I've gotten out of this is… I… I dunno. I feel like I don't have to be what I was made to be. Pretty fucking ironic that I learned that looking at the mess that he is right now, but… I was made to be representative of the bitterness Izaya Orihara harbors. But I don't _need_ to be that… I'm not him. I'm not Izaya."

Quietly, Konoha nodded. "It is like how I care very much for my friends… yes… even though I don't have a heart…"

Roppi smiled slightly, lopsidedly. "Kinda like that, yeah. Because the difference between Izaya and I… well… he has no one. I… I have more than that. I have no idea why I'm telling _you_ all of this, but… I know now that I can't just let Seidou go, either. I told him something that I've never told _anyone_ , not even the fucking police that came and asked me why my mother wasn't breathing anymore. No, after that, there's no way I can just leave him be. It means I give a shit about that motherfucker, so I'm going to make sure to fix that mess, too."

"So we need to help him, also," said Konoha with another slight nod.

"And Kaneki," said Roppi, bringing his arm over his eyes and laughing a bit. "I need to thank him, too, anyway… After all, he…" _Well, he set my arm back in place, and saw all those cuts and scars. Didn't say a goddamn word, that respectful ass._

Even when Roppi had bitterly pointed them out, making the assumption that the half-ghoul was judging him silently, Kaneki had only smiled sadly at him and said, "All I see are the scars from the war you're fighting behind your eight faces. It's okay, Roppi… I understand."

That had shut him up quick.

Roppi released a _heh._ "He's the one who tried to slap some sense into me, after all," he commented, remembering when Kaneki had stricken him. Not that he didn't have it coming, no, he _definitely_ deserved a nice smack. Probably deserved worse. But Kaneki had been the only one to actually _do_ something.

Konoha only tilted his head.

"Ah… we should get going, anyway." Roppi said, and got to his feet. "The night's only just begun. Totally don't need something like 'sleep.'" Snickering vaguely, he picked up the machine gun from the floor. "Ready, Konoha?"

"Yes," Konoha answered, and stood.

They had a long night ahead of them.


	4. Yesterday

Kaneki sat on the floor of a shorter building in relation of some of the skyscrapers in this area. This one had only two stories, and he was on the second floor. He was leaning against the wall that faced the street, and to his right was an open door that led to the balcony behind him. The moon shone through this exit. Light Yagami's lower arm had already been eaten clean, and the stained bones that remained had already been discarded. Kaneki saw no reason to feel bad about the action.

On his own hand, he could still feel the strangeness of a laceration through his flesh that had no pain attached to it. Upon closer examination, the cut, although deep, only bled in small drops… and that was only if applying pressure _to_ draw blood. It struck him as odd – it was where Roppi had accidentally sliced him… but a regular old switchblade shouldn't be able to penetrate his skin anyhow. And come to think of it, where did he get a switchblade in the first place…?

 _Ah, and it isn't healing, either,_ he thought before shrugging off the matter. It wasn't of consequence to him. He couldn't know that it was the Harrowing Blade. He couldn't know that he had been harrowed.

Now, in isolation, Kaneki was left with himself as his own company, and he wasn't the best guy to spend time with right now.

 _Light, he disgusts me._

 _Not that I'm any better than he._

He closed his eyes, white lashes half-glowing in the reflected moonlight.

 _I want to remain here. Those group members of mine… I don't want to see their faces. I don't want to speak with them. I prefer to be alone. I am meant to be on my own. This is my place. This is my space. The one thing that is mine. It belongs to me._

 _I know what I'll do from here. Perhaps this is best during the night, when everyone is at rest. There are a few select people that need to be disposed of, and everyone knows it. Yato informed me that Kuroha isn't dead, implying that even though Konoha is back… it doesn't mean our fight with the demon is over._ His mouth twisted wryly. _'Our'… Right. Well. There is him to find. There is Yato, who has turned his back on what he once believed in, so it seems. Izaya is someone whom I see no reason to live. Then there is…_ His grey eyes opened, his pupils chasms. _…Seidou, right._ He smelled his softness, drifting and meandering through the air without any rhyme or reason to its movement. _Half-ghouls, on the scale of taste… are far more appetizing than anything else you could possibly give a ghoul._

Without a sound, Kaneki got to his feet. His footsteps seemed loud in the silent night as he made his way to the balcony. Down below was the ghost-like figure of Seidou Takizawa, transparent in the moonlight despite the vividness of the moon's light. Both of them stared at the other without expression, their eyes locked. Seidou's mouth twitched. " **Gone and run off, have you?** " asked Seidou from the ground, and Kaneki gazed at him impassively. " **Roppi was looking for you.** " He tittered, swaying as he grinned at Kaneki. " **How fucked is that? He was looking for** _ **you**_ **, first priority over me. Maybe because he thought he had more of a chance to bring** _ **you**_ **back rather than me, am I right? Why** _ **are**_ **you off and about, huh? I'm curious.** "

Silently, Kaneki continued to look down at him. His expression was one of aloofness. He didn't appear to care that Seidou was before him.

" **Fine, fine. I'll cut to the chase.** " His teeth were bared, his smile wiped clean from his pale features. " **Now that it's just you and me… Kaneki. Why don't we share some secrets?** "

Though his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, Kaneki gave no other indication of acknowledgement.

Seidou clicked his tongue irately. " **Won't talk? Huh? A little sour, are you? Act as you will. I don't give a shit. Just means I might have to hurt you just to have a chat. Right? Is that the game you're playing? You played it even after you became a CCG officer,** " he added, his tone gaining in acidity. " **You. A CCG officer. How fucked up is that?** " He laughed harshly. " **You, a** _ **CCG officer!**_ " he repeated in mirthless hilarity. " **Ken Kaneki… Seems you're actually being yourself for once. I'm glad. You told me you'd already died. Yeah? That right? You remember that? Well, look at who's in front of you, Kanekiii~** " His mouth spread across his ghostly features, his eyes wide. " **I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm** _ **sure**_ **that when we had those special one-on-one chats, yes, you wished for someone who'd actually** _ **understand,**_ **didn't you? And I, Seidou, the ignorant human, could never, not** _ **ever**_ **understand such an existence as your own! And, hey, look!** " His eyes squinted in distorted glee. " **I'm** _ **just like you~**_ " He cackled while Kaneki continued to watch him without much reaction. Seidou's laughter cut out, and his smile dropped. " **Is this what you wanted?** "

His gaze piercing, he glared up at where Kaneki stood. Kaneki continued to give him no answer. Seidou's bloody mouth twisted downwards into a scowl. " **None of it meant anything in the end, did it? To think, I almost liked working with you. It was nothing but a set-up, you know? Some kind of twisted show. I bet even this meeting here is planned, and I'm just speaking my lines like their obedient puppet. But that's okay, because you're a part of it, too. Everything in this fucking game is a set-up. And just like everyone before, just like our realm, they're just** _ **laughing**_ **at me. You and I were working side-by-side, two 'leaders' in an alliance. Do you know how disgustingly ironic that is? It makes me SICK. Kaneki, do you know why this happened to me?** " He spread his arms to present himself. " **I was a part of some experiment, yeah? I was a guinea pig. Do you know what their objective was? Do you know what their** _ **motive**_ **was?** "

Kaneki's eyes stared right through him.

" **They wanted to 'recreate the product named Ken Kaneki.' The perfect product! The masterpiece! The** _ **ideal!**_ " His tone lowered. " **Yes. They put me through** _ **Hell**_ **just to recreate** _ **you**_ **. It was** _ **you.**_ **In** _ **your name**_ **, I went to Hell.** " Tilting his head, he tittered. " **Not that I dislike this. No, I'm HAPPY. Very, very… _happy_. Definitely. Definitely. But if **_**you**_ **don't like the thing that stands in front of you right now, if** _ **you**_ **don't like the product, then just** _ **remember**_ **that this is** _ **your product**_ **. This was** _ **you**_ **. Because of YOU. It was YOU.** _ **YOU. YOU!**_ " He was screaming at him, his kagune emerging from between his shoulder blades through his black cloak.

Kaneki's knuckle cracked, and as his scaled weapons emerged from his own lower back, he launched himself from the balcony and onto Seidou. The scales thwacked his head and made him stagger backwards while Kaneki crouched before him and jumped easily back onto the balcony, squatted like a stoic animal perched on the railing with six red appendages writhing behind him.

" **You shit,** " spat Seidou, glowering upwards.

"I am not built for blame," Kaneki informed him in dead tones.

Seidou blinked, a tiny frown on his blackened mouth. Then he giggled, wiping the blood from his forehead. " **So did you get personally absolved of your actions? Did your guilt tear you apart, leading you here, or did you finally realize that it's easier to live without it? Huh?** "

"I am sick of guilt," he said lowly. "I've done nothing. Those people that I can't stand… _I'm sick of sparing such trash._ You're laced with shame, Seidou… Even after my first death, I still maintained some form of morality."

" _ **Morality?**_ " he questioned, then released a bark of laughter. " **You've been nothing but a hypocrite, even here!** "

An eerie smile ghosted across Kaneki's face. "You're absolutely right. You told me that even back when you were worth respect."

"' **Worth respect,' huh? Bwahaha~** "

His eyes cold, the corners of Kaneki's lips curled further. "'The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy,' Seidou… 'The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.' William Hazlitt."

Seidou scoffed derisively. " **Look at you, talking about** _ **vices**_ **… Honestly. You're all about hypocrisy, preaching self-control and humanity when you yourself are nothing but a shell.** " He raised a hand in the air as though speaking to the choir. " **Hear, hear! You're talking about** _ **yourself**_ **in that quote, aren't you? Going on about your ideals, turning your back, and then coming back around only to apologize repetitively like a broken record—as if that earns your forgiveness.** "

"Did you not just say you were just like me?" Kaneki answered coldly.

" **But I've given up on apologies; there's nothing to apologize for. I'll never be sorry for what I've done.** " The whites of his teeth were shining; the blood looked black in the moonlight.

"You were talking about my hand in your metamorphosis," Kaneki continued. "Placing blame, aren't you? Trying to make me feel guilty… What was it you just said? That it's easier to live without guilt?" He stood up, balancing on that thin line known as the railing. Seidou was eyeing him with hollow bitterness. "What are you going on about? Pray tell. Aren't you the one who told me that guilt and responsibility are two very different things? You're wrong. You're not free of guilt, no, you're sodden with it. You _wallow_ in it. You sip from it like wine; you bathe in it as though it were your sole luxury. It's _responsibility_ that you've cast away from yourself. You've thrown it away and gone about your life for however long as though consequence no longer touches you."

" **It's because I've accepted that I'm not human anymore,** " he grinned. " **Think, you've been struggling with it even now, but once you really, truly give into that thing inside you… Once you've actually become the monster, it's really not so bad after all.** "

"My words pass you by like flies," Kaneki remarked coolly. "Not that it really matters. I don't care anymore. I can't afford to." He looked down on him with something reminiscent of disgust. "You're not worth my time. In this rotten world, 'the strong' has every right to devour 'the weak.' You longed to be stronger, didn't you? Are you not satisfied?" Seidou's eyes narrowed. "You _were_ weak. So was I. But when we were in that battle where Tsuki had died, where Psyche had died, who were the ones fighting at their side? It wasn't me. Who was the leader there but yourself? I'd be willing to hazard a guess that you still can't take that responsibility. You couldn't stand it then, and you won't be able to now. You can't even take a look at yourself. And that's why… you're still weak." The gentle smile of a warm sadist curled Kaneki's lips. " _And that's why I have every right to devour you._ "

" **Fuck. You.** "

Another _pop_ from Kaneki's knuckle signaled the activation of his ghoul eye, and Seidou sprang from the ground with a delighted yell, destroying the entire balcony with the force of his body. Kaneki jumped up as the balcony crumbled, and midair they met, suspended in the gentle breeze, caught in a single moment with Seidou's hands cupping Kaneki's throat, his face a mask of animism, his human eye rolling in its socket, his ghoul eye shining in red temperament. His mouth was caught in a grimace-grin.

Kaneki's face was one of indifference, eyes pools of the emptiest, clearest pond in the darkest night.

 _In the end, the safety of those around me may not be what I'm after at all,_ thought Kaneki as they clashed. Their strikes were equivalent to one another in strength. _Was it really protecting others that I wanted? No… All I want is to be remembered. At this point, I can't bring myself to care whether my memory is dyed with good feelings or bad. Something like just ending my life, curling up and dying… All that is a foolish end. It's nothing I could stand for. But to throw myself into danger…_

" **Kaneki, Ken Kaneki, Kanekiii~** " Seidou was chanting in wide-eyed delight as they fought in the air, shining scale versus shining feather in the night. " **You have** _ **no idea**_ **how refreshing it is! How good this feels!** "

 _I'll find my ending._

" **You're wrong; you're** _ **wrong**_ **, you know, you know it, yeah, 'cause I'm gonna prove myself now! Now! Now, that I can face the one that doctor called his masterpiece! RIGHT?** "

 _I want to die…_

" **So don't hold back, Kaneki!** "

… _In a cool way!_

Kaneki's eyes flashed, his face contorting in sadistic glee as he slammed the heel of his foot into Seidou's back, sending him into the concrete below. With a joyous growl, Seidou shot back up at him, grasping at his calf and laughing in that deranged way as he swung him around in the air and tossed him carelessly into the windows of a building beside them like a child playing catch with no one. Landing on the roof of the building Kaneki had been originally taking refuge in, Seidou released a small _heh_ before bolting up into the fourth floor of the next building, where Kaneki was waiting for him. Upon leaping through the broken windows and landing gracefully with the wind beneath his crimson wings, he found Kaneki's body in twisted posture, crouched in preparation to strike with his kagune twisting around his own body, beginning to harden. Beginning to bore into his own flesh. Beginning to become his armor.

" **Ah, going kakuja?** " Seidou asked in delight. " **You need that? Bwahaha~** " He stepped forward, folding his malleable weapon around himself as if he were an evil angel at rest. He allowed it to cocoon him messily, tearing into himself.

" **You are, fake,** " Kaneki growled, " **as I am.** "

Seidou laughed with a hitch. " **Don't… get me wrong. It's not like I can't empathize with you… I get it. I totally get it. Here's a taste of irony for you… 'You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone?'** " He paused, his eyes shining with profound agony. " **'** _ **All**_ **that we see or seem Is bu** t a dream within a dream.' Right, Kaneki?" He paused, swaying on his feet. "Th **at's why… w** hy nothing changed for me, right? Why all those things happened… why **I did all that… Even though…?** " He had brought his hands to his face, tottering backwards and bumping into the windowsill. " **It** _ **doesn't make SENSE!**_ " He screamed, metamorphosing into the Owl, a grotesque cage forming around half of his face as Kaneki wore his half-smile, half-grimace as Centipede. With the shrieking of garbled words and distorted laughter, the two began to brawl.

* * *

The Yato god felt the rumbling all around him, hiding in one of the buildings in the surrounding area. He closed his glowing blue eyes, listening to their demented outcries. His holy breath was haggard and uneven, and his left hand was clutching at the bite taken out of his shoulder by Seidou himself. His other arm was wrapped around his abdomen, which still seeped with some red from the wound dealt him by the new vessel to Kuroha… The slash given to him by that girl with blue hair was one they hadn't had the chance to treat properly due to the fact that Seidou had been on their tail since that fight at the hospital. The past two battles had done in Nora too, having earned a nice gash on her head that bled into her right eye. Currently, she was nestled into his side, her eyes vaguely concerned.

"… _Shit_ …," he murmured in a choked, muted tone.

"It'll all be okay," she whispered back brightly. "You and I still have each other, right, Yato…? With them distracted, we can treat that slash over your chest, or get as far away from them as you like."

 _I can't teleport now…,_ he thought, grimacing a bit. _My energy's too low… and… I'm too injured. If I were to do that now, I'd have no control over where we'd end up, and I'd probably pass out. There's no way I can risk that._ Taking a deep breath, he released it shakily and opened his eyes. Nora was staring right at him with childish optimism, and he flinched. _How the fuck does she do that—I swear, we could be in Hell, and she'd be just as bright and happy. It's like she doesn't know 'fear.'_

On cue, she cuddled closer to him. "I'm comfortable, being right here with you."

He drew his lips into a thin line as the building shook, dust falling on them from the ceiling above. _Not exactly the safest place to be nestled right now, Hiiro,_ he thought. "Maybe we should get a move on while they're fighting," he said to her quietly, and she nodded. He'd confronted every one of the groups, taking down three people on the way. That wasn't a lot for a God of Calamity, but in retrospect, that was kind of the point of the game that it should be a challenge. _Not three,_ he thought, picturing Ciel Phantomhive in his head, gun in his small hand, barrel pressed to his own temple, smile curving his lips and touching the look of his single visible eye. _Four._ He felt a tremor down his spine. He had to move the hand holding his shoulder to his mouth; he felt the need to choke. The bitter nausea mutated into fury. He saw red.

 _Calm down…_ Steadying his breathing, he opened his eyes, trying to maintain silence. He needed to stop breathing so unevenly if he didn't want either of the half-ghouls to hear him… not that he thought that they had the capacity to notice right now.

"Yato… what is it?" she asked gently, tugging at the sleeve of his jersey.

He shook his head, opening his mouth to answer that they should leave just as the building lurched with a heavy impact that Yato determined was perhaps a few stories above them. He stared upwards. _They're in this building now._ Gritting his teeth, he held his breath, holding his hand out to Nora to signal her to be as quiet as possible. There was a heavy crash nearby as one of them plummeted through floor after floor, they felt the vibrations of their contact with the floor they were on. He could hear one of them – the thing was just in the next room over; he could hear the voice echoing to reach his ears with eerie clarity: " _ **…A… a….? H**_ _…ow? H o w ? I… I… Already, I…_ "

 _They're regaining a sense of themselves,_ Yato thought, freezing in place. _Which means that they could notice me._ "Prepare to fight," Yato breathed to Nora, and she nodded. The god recognized this voice to be Seidou's – he couldn't tell only by sound whether it was he who had sent Kaneki through a few stories, or the other way around. Whatever the case, now Seidou was on the same floor as Yato, and that was definitely not the situation Yato wanted to deal with right now.

 _(How did they end up this way?)_

He shook his head slightly. _Remember, Yato? You don't care now._

" _Im…possible… Imp o ssi ble,_ " his voice was broken, and the god could sense the feeling of trepidation that dripped from his words. He couldn't tell what it was he was so uneasy about, though. Oddly, Yato got the feeling that it wasn't Kaneki he was worried about. " _Imp_ _ **ossible… No… no, no, no no nonononono…!**_ **NO— I'VE KILLED YOU ALREADY, SO FUCKING DIE!** " Yato stiffened as there was a crash – sounded like Seidou had broken something made of glass. Out of his peripheral vision, the god could see that he'd broken a windowed wall and had thus made his way into the room down the hallway at Yato's far right. From where he sat, he could just make out the half-ghoul's tormented profile, staggering around blindly, making choked noises of antagonism. Yato knew that Kaneki wasn't gone – in fact, he was still a few stories up, his spirit energy smoothing out to ice rather than this unpredictable static.

 _If Seidou catches sight of me now, I'll have to run or fight,_ he thought, clenching his hands into fists. Nora held onto him, settled into his left side.

" _ **It's no use, no use going back—to yesterday,**_ " said Seidou, letting loose and tittering away, swaying on his feet as he wobbled, hands to his face, fingers beginning to dig into his eye sockets. " _ **No use, going back to yesterday—because, I was a different person then.**_ **Riiight?** " He halted; something had drawn his attention. He was frozen; he seemed to be struggling to pinpoint the purpose of his pause. It was then he turned, his single focused eye glowing red as he looked straight at Yato. " **…Ohhh~** " He lit up at the sight of the god.

" _Hiki_ ," Yato bit out, and Nora became his sword in a flash as Yato sprang into fighting position.

He brought her in front of him in preparation for a sudden attack, but Seidou only stepped forward, one step at a time, very slow. Blood was running down his face; he looked like he could be from a horror movie… not that he didn't look like that before. " **How lovely,** " he commented, tilting his head.

"What happened, there? Kaneki beat you?" Yato questioned, mouth twitching.

" **Kh… Ka, neki? Oh, right. Kaneki. Kaneki, is?** " He blinked, staring upwards like a small child gazing at a butterfly in wonder. " **Mm. Forgot. No, didn't beat me.** _ **Beat me?**_ **Bwahaha~ No, no, no, no, no. We just, where were we? What?** "

"You were talking about proving yourself to a half-ghoul who's better than you?" _With these wounds, the sharpest thing I have is my tongue._

Seidou's eyes swiveled to look at him. " **…Ah?** "

"Tell me. Who were you yesterday, if you're not him anymore?" Yato began sliding one of his feet further behind him, readying himself to bolt away.

" **Who, were you?** " Seidou answered, his tone darkening further than its perpetual menacing tone.

"Heh…" The god smirked coldly, taking a slight shift backwards. "I was a God of Calamity, just the same."

" **Calamity,** " Seidou repeated, then laughed oddly. " **Like, tragedy. That makes you a tragedy, right? Right?** "

"I create it," he answered easily.

" **Right, right, right… Well… You… are lathered in, Fear—o God of Calamity. Why's that?** "

Yato took another step back, brandishing his sword in all defensiveness. "I fear not death. I'm the God of Depravity; I take life away."

" **I see, I see. Then why are you backing up?** "

He eyed Yato, and the god froze.

" **If not death, then what? What is it? Aaa, you're a god; it's** _ **more**_ **than that, isn't it? It's okay, I get it. Fear is my greatest arsenal, it's my power source, I am its conductor… So, do you know the secret to being fearless?** " Blue eyes narrowing further, Yato backed up a bit more. Seidou stopped walking in his slow, halting way. " **Did you know? If you become what you're** _ **afraid**_ **of…** _ **fear**_ **will fade. So I'll _help_ you. I'll not only send you to meet Death himself, no…** " He beamed ghoulishly at him. " **I'll make sure to personally ensure that there's** _ **nothing left of you.**_ **I'll devour everything, and it'll be like you never existed. How's that?** "

Yato felt Nora vibrating in displeasure, and he held tighter to the hilt, his jaw tight.

" **It's okay, Yato. I know you're scared. Really, this is to help… and I'm allowed to eat every piece of you that I want to.** " He bolted forward without warning, clashing with Nora with his ghostly face centimeters away from Yato's.

 _He's much slower than he was before,_ thought Yato with some relief. " _You'll have to catch me, first!_ " the god shouted in turn, using all his force to push the half-ghoul away just enough to begin to run. Delighted with this new game of tag, Seidou followed right after him.

* * *

"…Ah," Kaneki remarked eventually, after having lain on the floor with his hands over his ears for what seemed like a long time. Slowly, he sat up, watching Seidou chase after the god. _Seidou's injury from Yato earlier still isn't healed at all, even though it's obvious he's been eating enough._ He looked down at himself, and the injuries now dealt him by Seidou. _And I don't feel that my regeneration is nearly as fast as it was in the beginning of this game, food or no food._ "…Our healing is stunted even more now… huh?"

He looked up at the moon hanging in the sky, still low; the sun still cast a gentle glow on the western horizon, if you could see it. He mused, _He quoted_ Alice in Wonderland _. Interesting._

* * *

 **...I like to think that somehow, Hinami or Eto would read to Seidou in his time at Aogiri.**

 **Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed. Have a lovely day, now~**


	5. How to Create Rot

As the sun departed to make way for the moon, the five remaining members of the initial alliance of Groups 1 and 2 made themselves as comfortable as they could be with six missing members, two of which were deceased. Not to mention, much to the _dis_ comfort of Shintaro Kisaragi and Ginshi Shirazu, they were still nearby a graveyard.

After some debate, Shintaro had tried to patch up Light Yagami from his odd injuries. Even though the first conclusion was that Roppi had snapped on him, it was obvious by the level and style of injury that it was likely Kaneki who was the culprit, not Roppi. Shirazu pointed out that Light had to have done something pretty nasty for Kaneki to have done something so heinous, but their current leader Akira pointed out that he could just be unstable due to the loss of Touka and Saiko both. After a pause, she added quietly that according to her intuition, Light wasn't exactly worth trusting anyway.

Light only proved her right, spitting acidic threats of death, mostly towards Kaneki and Roppi, respectively. "If I had my notebook, they'd be _dead_. I mean it…!"

"Notebook?" asked Shirazu, glancing at Shintaro, who only shrugged.

"Beats me," Shintaro answered, and Shirou Emiya scratched at his red-haired head, tilting it in wonder.

" _You don't know who I am_ ," Light would growl, and Shirazu would pipe up, "Light Yagami," much to Light's annoyance.

"Leave him be," Akira would say, and Shintaro, Shirazu, and Shirou would all look at her. She brushed a blond strand of hair from her face, violet gaze guarded as ever. "Don't listen to his nonsense. Unless he poses a real threat, there's no reason to listen to him."

" _Don't disregard me_ ," Light spat. "I am much more than _you_. An investigator? A regular student? And a drop-out? _I am a god!_ "

"Maybe in your realm," Shirou offered. "But we're… um… not there."

"Or in his head," grumbled Shirazu, and Shintaro coughed to hide a nervous laugh. "Seriously, though, I'm kinda scared… Light was a totally chill guy; what _happened?_ I mean, maybe it's just 'cause he's kinda screwed with those injuries, but… I still don't know why Kane-kun would…"

"Keep in mind that Kaneki is considered SS Rank ghoul," Akira pointed out hollowly.

Shirazu bowed his head. "…Well, yeah, I know, but…" They sat on the stone benches, eating parcels of food they'd found in the fridges and pantries of the houses surrounding them. Shirazu was sitting next Shintaro on one, with Shirou sitting beside Light, who was settled on the ground, incapacitated with Shirou keeping a good eye on him. Akira sat on her own bench, facing everyone else with perfect posture and shrouded eyes.

Shintaro looked at Light, only to look quickly away when Light's fiery eyes took notice of him.

"H…hey, Mado-san," said Shirazu, looking over at her with pained orange eyes. "Can I, um, talk to you for a bit? Please?"

She gestured to her bench, sliding over. "Akira is fine. You may."

"Uh—" Awkwardly looking around, Shirazu stood before uncomfortably walking over to her, lowering his voice as he asked her, " _Is this really fine?_ I mean… I just wanna… ask a few things… if that's… um…"

"Sit," she said bluntly, and he did so obediently. "If we speak quietly, they won't hear us, and it seems that Shirou knows to start polite conversation to cover us." She closed her eyes. "He's a very tactful boy."

"Yeah… pretty cool…"

"What was it you wanted to know?"

"Oh—uh…" Shirazu shifted uneasily; Akira was someone that he really super respected… He didn't wanna bother her or anything. "Well… there's something that—Saiko mentioned before… um…" He trailed off. He didn't want to think about the fact she wasn't around anymore.

"It's alright. What was it?" Her tone was to-the-point, though he could hear that hint of sympathy there.

"Saiko… she had talked about missing my hair when she first saw me, which totally doesn't make sense… But… when she jumped in front and… and struck Yato… and she…" He trailed off, then shook his head. "She said she didn't want to see me 'die again'… Do you…? Er, well, do I even wanna know…? Ugh…" He rubbed at the back of his orange-haired head.

"Shirazu."

Nervous, he looked at her. Akira was gazing at him with her violet eyes, filled with distant warmth. "…Yeah?"

"From when I'm from, you're just as you are now. If there's something she was referring to, I don't know what it is. If anything… there's a possibility that she was a bit farther ahead than myself."

"…Ah…" He looked away and to the ground again. "Sorry, I just… I dunno…" He felt her hand at his shoulder, and he almost flinched. He was glad he didn't.

"Be it as an officer or in these games, we are to lose our fellow teammates. It's how things are… unfortunately."

"And you—lost Seidou, didn't you? Before?" He looked at her, at her inscrutable expression. "I—sorry…"

"No, you're not wrong. I've lost many subordinates, many superiors. Takizawa was one of them."

"Just—what _happened?_ " His voice broke. For once, he didn't care that it had broken in front of the miraculous Akira Mado. "I told Seidou to _go for it_ , man… I coulda _stopped him_ , and I…!" He dropped his face to his hands. "Oh, man, I fucked up… I fucked up so bad… And now Seidou's gone, and Kaneki's gone, and Saiko… Oh, shit…" He rested his elbows on his legs, hunching forward. "I just—really want them back…"

Akira gazed at him, lowering her hand from his shoulder and putting it back in her lap. She closed her eyes. "…Me too, Shirazu."

As Shirazu went over to Akira, as said by the new temporary leader of the groups present, Shirou began to tentatively talk. "Say, Light should probably eat dinner too, right?" he asked Shintaro, and Shintaro blinked at him as though he couldn't comprehend his words. "You hungry, Light? I know you said no earlier, but you should probably eat _something_ …"

"No." Light's tone was clipped. Disdainful.

"Hm… Even something small?"

"No," he repeated, looking even more bothered.

 _I wonder if Roppi got him with the Harrowing Blade,_ Shintaro thought to himself, sighing slightly as he watched their interaction. _And then… that would make this the worst part of Light? That blade… it 'draws out the worst in someone,' right? Does it bring out the worst… or create it?_ He drew his lips into a thin line. _And… what happened to Kaneki…?_

The only thing they'd been able to get out of Light was that Roppi had done something right terrible to both himself and Kaneki, and had been the one to make Kaneki do what he did. Shirazu didn't buy it, and Akira said that they'd just have to wait for all sides of the story. From there Light had refused to give anything further out of indignation. Shirou was the one that solidified the idea that they should take care of Light as though there were no suspicions… There was no reason for them not to help him physically, and definitely not leave him behind.

"I think that you should still have something to drink," said Shirou to Light, picking up a can of iced tea from his bench and holding it below to where Light was sitting with his back to the stone. He even opened it for him, seeing as the injured had only one hand.

Light, glowering at the can, knocked it from Shirou's grasp and to the ground, leaving to slowly spill onto the grass and dirt.

"Er… you could have just said 'no'…" Shirou scratched at his temple, then went to pick it up.

"You just don't get it… None of you get it… No one could get it… no… maybe no one gets it at all…!" His expression twisted in anguish. "Something like the ideal world…"

"Everyone's ideal is different, though, isn't it?" inquired Shirou, sitting back down in his place.

" _Shut up._ You're not someone who could get it; no… There are people you need to get _rid_ of…!"

"Is this about that killer you'd mentioned earlier?" Shirou frowned, leaning with one palm against the stone. "If it is, I'm sorry… We'll just have to agree to disagree."

"Killing people with heart attacks, right?" asked Shintaro, sounding timid. He seemed as though he were trying to sink back into the high collar of his open red jersey. "Sounds really sci-fi."

"Says the one whose friend is an android," Light answered with narrowed eyes, and Shintaro blinked.

"…You have a point," he conceded, and sighed heavily.

"This is why," uttered Light, "I'm the only one… the only one I can trust…" He closed his burning eyes.

"Trust with what?" asked Shirou.

 _If this is the work of the Harrowing Blade, I've gotta say its effects make it hard to converse with the victim,_ thought Shintaro dully. "He's talking about the fact that _he's_ the one that killed all those criminals. He's just offended that we don't agree with him."

"Oh, but I _knew_ that," Shirou frowned. "He made it kinda obvious… if only because it's pretty evident when all this is so out-of-context."

"Yeah, him and the detective would have had to be main factors of his realm in order for them specifically to be here… you know?" asked Shintaro. "Not that that logic makes sense for _me_ … Uh…"

"And both of you are too foolish to grasp the ideal world I can see pictured in my head…," said Light, and his eyebrow twitched. "You have no idea… exactly what place I hold in my world. With my work, I've brought the world's crime rate down by 70%. I am hope, I am order, I am justice… Humans… should have the right to happiness, right? Everyone's rights, opportunities… the like… they're snuffed out by that handful of rotten people! I _know_ that killing is a crime, but _someone had to do it!_ Right? _Right?!_ " His eyes were wide, frantic. Manic. Filled with the corrupt fire that was once a pure dream.

"R…rotten people, huh…?" Shintaro gave him a pained look. "Like who?"

Light's eyes narrowed.

"Because I know that Roppi doesn't deserve to die. That detective… didn't deserve to die. Honestly, if Roppi's right about anything, it's that people _are_ kinda disgusting by nature. But there are good parts, too… If someone were to cut out all the bad people in the world, find true peace, wouldn't it just wipe out the entire human race?"

"That wish…" Shirou said, voice dropping and eyes becoming shadowed, "…that _ideal_ … Somehow, I feel that it's impossible." His eyes held memories of endless conflagration, of red, of carnage and destruction. "Something like that leads you down the path of Armageddon. Maybe killing people like that… You may even find that crime never really ends. There is nothing to the core of the world, of humanity… nothing but more rot. Maybe you'll come to hate the world itself, and then you'll just end up killing everyone… no, worse… you'll keep going, with the shackles of your dream holding you to your fate, only to come to loathe your own dream…" Shirou closed his eyes, and Light stared at him, his brow furrowed.

"I'll never give up," Light bit out. "I know the absolute truth… I knew from the beginning I was sacrificing myself, and in that, I'll create a new world…!"

Shirou opened his eyes. "I admire that," he smiled. "I don't think you're wrong to believe in your dream. Yeah… your dream is more than worth defending. Everyone's ideal is different… I told you that. Like, I know that maybe nobody can save everyone… but I want to give my all to try and do just that." A sort of earnest fire warmed his eyes. "And even if I can't, then I'll be happy just having tried. To be able to save anyone… even one person – that should be fulfilling on its own."

Light clicked his tongue. "Overly earnest people with a strong sense of justice like you always fall; they're made into fools, again and again! And it's _because_ of this dirty system! It's _because_ of the rotten people!" His eyes flashed. "Seidou—he's the perfect example! Perfect! Overly earnest people with a strong sense of justice—and look at what happened to him! Look! It's because of this cruel, rotten world! He fell victim to it, and became rotten himself… Isn't that the truth? Isn't it?!"

"It is," Akira broke in, walking back over with Shirazu. "Now take control of yourself, Light. You'll reopen your wounds if you keep going on like this."

"I won't," he spat. "I can't die here."

"Neither could that other dude, the detective, right?" asked Shirazu, tentative.

"That bastard had it coming to him!" Light exclaimed.

"Sheesh, no getting through to him, is there?" mumbled Shirazu, scratching at his scalp.

Shirou shrugged. "Well, like I said, I'm still gonna try to save everyone. Light, I don't mind even if I'm made into a fool. No, I already know that's how it'll end. But my dream is of justice, too, so I won't give up on it." He smiled a lopsided smile.

Something seemed to stir in Light … but then it was extinguished, and he only scoffed.

"Enough of that," said Akira, tone official. "Now, we prepare for rest."

The stars were shining bright by the time the five of them were prepared for bed – Shirou was the first on watch. They chose a nearby house to take refuge in for the night, all agreeing not to use any electronics. ("To think," mumbled Shintaro, "I've gone this long without technology… I'm such a pro…") Light was moved with much care – Shirou helped him to his feet along with Shirazu despite Light's bitter protests. ("Where's your self-control?" Shirazu had grunted as he got elbowed in the side.) Eventually they let him walk on his own, even though he was walking with a heavy limp. Seemed his lower right leg had been pierced straight through. After only a few steps Shirou was at his side again, insistent about helping him into the house and to the couch where he could rest.

There were two bedrooms – Akira and Shirazu each got one, while Shintaro was put with Light due to the fact he was a light sleeper himself, and would therefore hear him if he tried anything. ("I-I don't know if I like that idea," Shintaro had begun to protest, but Akira had only continued with her layout of the night shifts.)

Shirazu was relieved once he went into the room that he could call his own for the night. He was on third shift, so he'd really just have to get up super early the next morning. In retrospect, he preferred first shift just because it was easiest for him. The last shift wasn't so bad, though. It was the middle shift that sucked.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he flopped onto the bed, kicking off his black dress shoes, all scuffed and dirty. Stretching his arms upwards, he rested his head on his hands as he leaned back onto the pillows waiting to cradle his cranium. He stared up at the ceiling, introspective and silent. His playful demeanor was deadened in isolation. He saw Saiko bleeding in his arms. He saw Psyche, decapitated. He saw Delic, face contorted in pain as he gave his last fighting breath. He saw Tsuki and Shizuo, with red blotting their chests. He saw Yukine, halved neatly. The ceiling was his screen, and his mind was the projector. He decided he didn't like the movie, and turned onto his side, curling up and closing his eyes. "Saiko… what did you mean…?" Shirazu brought his hands from the back of his head to his face. " _Sassan… Kane-kun, where did you go…?_ "

As he closed his eyes, he tried to allow sleep to take him. All he could hear, echoing on forever in his head, were the tortured screams of Seidou. Eventually the night dragged him into fitful slumber.

Downstairs, Light sat, troubled, on his couch, tonight's resting place for him. Something was _wrong_ with him; his head was still spinning, and he felt like any tact was out of his hands. His hands ( _pardon_ me _, my_ singular hand, he thought bitterly) were buzzing with unwanted energy. Disgust coursed through him, and everyone around him had become but shadows, fake and faceless. They were liars, this world was filled with liars and everyone was—

 _What is wrong with me?_ He bit his tongue, closing his eyes. It was frustrating – he'd lost all sense of himself, and now he was caught in a whirlwind of paranoia and impulsivity; anger and arrogance. _What is_ wrong _with me? Why can't I calm down?_

Was it because of being as injured as he was? Or—

 _That damned blade Roppi used; what the fuck was that? That little bastard…!_

Why was that his first conclusion? Where was his logic? This occurred to him fleetingly – he couldn't bring himself to care. No… as much as he tried to muster up any kind of feeling, all he found was empty nothingness. It was vaguely frightening. The more he tried to grasp onto something, _anything,_ the further he plummeted into the dark. _I'm_ Light _, I don't belong in the dark…!_

He couldn't stifle his terror. He felt a scream rising in his throat, but he didn't even know where it came from. Most terrible was that—that—

 _I can't even trust_ me _._ His chest seized at the thought. _If I can't even trust myself, then who can I…?_

His breathing was becoming shallow and frantic. Shintaro looked over to him from his loveseat – his own bed. The shut-in was already curled up under a blanket, wishing he was in a more comfortable place than this but too exhausted from the all-nighter he pulled last night to care too terribly much. "Calm down already," Shintaro uttered, and closed his eyes.

 _I can't! I can't!_ "How?" His voice was taut.

"I dunno, breathing exercises or something."

"That's ridiculous," he hissed, and Shintaro shrugged before snuggling further under his blanket. "Don't just ignore me." _What the hell do I sound like right now?_

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Shintaro frowned. "Obviously you don't want help. I don't want to deal with pointless griping. I get it. You're injured."

"It's not—that."

"Then talk about it, or something," Shintaro grumbled, raising his head and worming his way to the arm of his small 'bed,' resting his head on the decorative pillow so that he could better look at Light. "What do you want?"

"I don't know—something's not right and—I hate it. Oh, if this is because of that—little—ahh… I'd kill him. I'd get rid of him so quick, so quick…!" He writhed in his seat as he tried to contain himself. Gritting his teeth, he tried to fight the fire, only to be swept up further in his frustration. He released an angry growl.

Shintaro closed his eyes. "Did you see… a red knife, or anything like that?"

Light's breathing stopped. _Red blade, and black handle? Something of that sort…!_

"Seems like it." Shintaro breathed a sigh, and opened his grey eyes again. "Look, did he cut you with that thing?"

It was easily understood that 'he' meant 'Roppi.'

"Yes." A new urgency had entered Light's tone.

"Then he's drawn out the worst of you. I feel like you at least deserve to know that, but honestly… that means this is still all you, I guess, so… I dunno."

"He _what?_ " _What does that mean? Why can't I think clearly?_ "This is _not me;_ this is _not okay_ , I swear, I'll—!"

"I know he messed up. He does too. He intends to fix it… Or at least, he'll try," he admitted, some distress showing on his tired face.

"That _delinquent_ is expected to _help me_?" He ground his teeth together. _Was that right, saying that? No! Damn it, Light, calm_ down!"No. I know that won't work. If that's so, how do _you_ know that? Fix it! _Fix it!_ "

"Don't yell, people are trying to sleep," Shintaro groaned. "I kinda wanna be one of them… Uh… I'm kind of an insomniac anyway, so whatever. But. I can't fix it, okay? I can't. I don't know how."

"What do you mean, you _don't know how?_ " He spoke through bared teeth.

"I mean I don't know how," Shintaro answered simply.

Light fought to steady his breathing. _Calm down. Calm down. Worst part of you? Draw out the worst? What can you do with that? Can you fix it? What can you do?_

 _Manipulation, lying—that's bad. The worst? Maybe; just maybe, if I can spin this the right way… The worst way…_ He felt something cold spreading from his chest, trickling from his center to his appendages, cooling his mind and bringing him the feeling of the night. He felt nothing at all. _This isn't…_ un _comfortable,_ he thought coolly, and closed his eyes. Light could think in vivid clarity now. His breathing deepened and steadied itself. He presented his options to himself in icy precision. _I've just exposed myself ridiculously… on many levels. The others in this group don't seem to care too much about the fact that 'I am Kira,' no, because they are from different worlds anyway… There's no point in worrying about that. That's not what I should be worried about right now at all, in fact… Remember, the only person who'd want to know about that is L himself, and he's already dead. Yes… the most important danger right now is the other players with ill intent… and Roppi, with that knife. Kaneki… with his… weapons._ He subconsciously reached to hold his opposite arm, only to grasp at nothing. He clicked his tongue and looked down at himself. Kaneki had really done him in. The thought of the incident gave even Light chills. _My injuries won't kill me in the immediate future, but the wound in my gut has the potential to get me killed if I'm not careful. My stomach could rupture, or I could just reopen the wound, period. I could have easily died of blood loss if Shintaro hadn't tried to patch me up… as messily as he did. Because of these, I'm definitely handicapped, and therefore expendable. It'll be difficult for me to even dodge with only one good leg… And Kaneki took my dominant arm…_

Pausing, Light's eyes flickered. _He took my dominant arm,_ he thought again, and looked at his remaining left arm. At his wrist, and at the watch that still remained there, telling time just as it did in his own realm. _The game masters… would they let this slip?_ His mouth twitched, eyes alight with sadistic excitement. If he was right… inside his watch was a small scrap of the Death Note: the 'murder weapon' that he used to cast his judgment. Anyone whose full name was written on that scrap would die, so long as he knew their face. _Names and faces, right, Seidou?_ he thought delightedly, then fought to calm himself. _I only have one arm, so this will be difficult. If I could get help… if I play this right… yes…_

"That's a shame," he murmured, gazing off into nowhere. Shintaro stirred slightly. "So that's what Roppi did… huh? Why would he have something so dangerous?"

"I have no clue," Shintaro mumbled dismissively.

"Well." He closed his eyes. "I've solved the puzzle anyway."

"Yeah?"

"Think of it from an outside perspective, Shintaro-kun," Light smiled, his eyes dancing with manipulative pleasure. "If the worst part of me is _that_ to myself, what is it to others? To my enemies? Wouldn't it be ironically me at my best?"

Shintaro blinked blearily at him, clearing his eyes. "Ah… Does that kind of loophole seriously work?"

"Why shouldn't it? I'm fine now," he lied.

"Well, crap!" Shintaro sat up abruptly. "I've gotta let Roppi know, then! Maybe it'll help him out with Kaneki…!"

"My thoughts exactly," Light nodded. "I want to help… but…"

"You're kinda injured," Shintaro pointed out, rubbing at his messy black hair with one hand and gripping the blanket that he'd been under moments before with the other.

"I have to say," said the brown-haired one, pinching the bridge of his nose with his only hand, "…with what I went through, there, because of that knife… I can't let that happen to anyone else. Especially not Kaneki…! I very much liked him, you know… And then…" He frowned a bit before spreading his arms in presentation of his injuries. "At this point, the only thing I feel is incredible restlessness. If you could..." Here, he smiled with all the warmth he could muster. This was his chance. Perfect! How perfect! Shintaro Kisaragi, the perfect pawn, and with a photographic memory, no less! Light could barely contain himself, with this swelling anticipation. "...Would you mind just chatting with me for a bit?"


	6. Just a Name

_"I have to say," said Light Yagami, pinching the bridge of his nose with his only hand, "…with what I went through, there, because of that knife… I can't let that happen to anyone else. Especially not Kaneki…! I very much liked him, you know… And then…" He frowned a bit before spreading his arms in presentation of his injuries. "At this point, the only thing I feel is incredible restlessness. If you could..." Here, he smiled with all the warmth he could muster. This was his chance. Perfect! How perfect! Shintaro Kisaragi, the perfect pawn, and with a photographic memory, no less! Light could barely contain himself, with this swelling anticipation. "...Would you mind just chatting with me for a bit?"_

"Saying something like solving the Harrowing Blade's properties is something that's got me up anyway," Shintaro answered, rubbing at one of his eyes.

"Thank you… I've come to find that it helps for me to write things down… Ah, maybe the pen I've got can be used for something after all," he remarked, and laughed lightly. "I wonder if there's paper anywhere in this house…"

"There might be some in the desk, actually," said Shintaro, looking over to the desk. He looked down at his own feet, then back to the desk. Then to Light. Then at Light's injured leg.

"…Ah…," Light began.

"Right," said the other, slowly getting to his feet. "Got it," he grumbled, going over to the roll-top desk set up in the corner of the living room. "Uh…" He searched the desk and pulled out a few blank pages before bringing them over and setting them on the coffee table in front of Light.

"Thank you," said Light politely, setting his pen on the table and slowly pulling the table towards himself with his one arm. It was one of those heavy oval ones without any shelves—just solid table, all the way from the platform itself to the ground.

"Oh, uh—" Shintaro rounded the slab. "Let me do it." He struggled to push it, and as he strained himself, Light found himself raising his eyebrows. With Shintaro's eyes screwed shut, Light began pulling with his one arm again, bringing it forward with far more ease. "Ah! I got it!" Shintaro cried in relief, and Light coughed slightly.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Uh-huh…" He laughed sheepishly.

"If you would, could you maybe… help me out with a chart I want to make?" he inquired of Shintaro, who blinked blankly at him. "I want to map out who's on the game field," Light explained. "And you said you had a photographic memory, right?"

The red-jerseyed boy stiffened. "Uh… yeah…"

"That's perfect!" Light smiled at him. "Could you help me, then? I know in Group 1 there is me; Light Yagami." He wrote his entire name on the paper up top under the number one. "Then, Shirou Emiya, and Ken Kaneki. I won't put Ken Kaneki in this section because he's on his own right now. I'll put him… over here." On the other side of the page, he etched in 'Ken Kaneki.' "I wonder how he spells his name…"

"I've never seen him do it," Shintaro shrugged. "But I'm Shintaro Kisaragi, Group 2… Ginshi Shirazu is in Group 1 too, not my group… But his name isn't actually Shirazu."

"It isn't?" asked Light in mild surprise.

"No, it's a nickname," said Shintaro with a slight nod. "He's actually called 'Ginshi Fuchi.' He mentioned it in, like… the introduction at the _very_ beginning of the game…" Shintaro's voice petered out, and his eyes went to a far-off place.

"…I wonder why," remarked Light, etching his name onto the page.

"…Are you left-handed?" Shintaro asked eventually, and Light chuckled.

"No… But luckily, I'm mostly ambidextrous."

"Yeah, your writing looks just fine," commented Shintaro. "Um… Yeah, Akira Mado is in Group 2 now with me, I guess. Like… Konoha, or, um… Seidou…"

"Seidou Takizawa, right?"

"…Yeah…" That far-off look again. "But I guess you want him apart too, right?"

"Yes, please… What is Group 3 like?"

Shintaro blinked. "I haven't seen much of Group 3 since the beginning. I don't even know who's still alive, honestly…"

"That's alright… what about Group 4?"

"Group 4 has Shinichi Izumi in it, to start," said Shintaro. "He saved us before… he's a good guy. Ciel Phantomhive—I don't know about him, but last I checked they were the only ones left."

"European name?" asked Light, and Shintaro nodded.

"He's from England. Then Group 5… I don't _know_ what's happening there," Shintaro frowned. "Apparently Shirou knows someone there, and so does Kaneki, so…" He shrugged. "I can see them in my head, but I don't know their names at all. Yato… he's a god that apparently is on his own now." He pointed at the page, directing Yato's name to be apart from everyone. "It's just… Yato. Don't ask how to spell it; he's a god I've never heard of before."

"Me neither," Light agreed, but wrote 'Yato' in hiragana anyway.

"Group 6 has some new members, though, like… there's this guy named Twelve. Just, Twelve. Some kind of terrorist, or something." Shintaro shuddered. "I can't tell whether he's good or bad. There's Izaya Orihara… We had an alliance with him and Yato once, but Izaya's kinda… I don't know." He shook his head.

Light smiled a bit as he wrote down Izaya's name. _Alright… I've got him saying all of their full names without even thinking about it._

"Group 6… has… three other members…" His eyes focused on something only he could see, his lips drawn thin. "…Celty, a rider in black… Akise, a kid with grey hair… And… Suzuya…?" He closed his eyes. "Someone else, said, Suzuya…. Suzuya… Juuzou Suzuya, that's it. Juuzou Suzuya is his name—huh. That means Group 5 has Rin Tohsaka, Hideyoshi Nagachika… and I can't tell the third. He's either named Roy Mustang or Senji Kiyomasa, under that presumption." He came back to reality and looked at Light. "…Does that help?" he asked worriedly.

Light stared at him, then laughed good-naturedly. Shintaro thought the laugh sounded a little bit creepy, but didn't comment. "Yes, yes… thank you! I'm sure this will be helpful to the others, too!"

"Yeah… you're right," Shintaro agreed, shifting a bit.

"And then over here, there's Seidou Takizawa and Ken Kaneki… both separate. Here, there's…"

"Konoha, and Roppi."

His eyebrow twitched. "Is Roppi his full name?"

"Well, yeah… it's what he prefers, anyway," Shintaro shrugged. "He's an alter-self of Izaya, or something… so his given name is actually 'Izaya.' His surname… is actually Hachimenroppi."

"What kanji does he use?" Light asked curiously. "I mean, I myself have a weird name, so I don't find it too strange at all. Even though my name is 'Light,' the given name itself is spelled as 'Tsuki.'"

Shintaro stared at him. "…Tsuki," he repeated blankly.

"Yes… The kanji for 'moon,' you know? Then 'Yagami' spells out 'Night God.' I know it's rather strange…"

"Mm…" Shintaro nodded. "For me, it's 'Kisaragi' as in 'February'…" He paused, eyeing Light. "Well, I don't really know how to spell out Roppi's name, but I guess it doesn't really matter, right? I mean…" He held up a finger, looking to the ceiling. " 'Hachi,' that's 'eight.' 'Men,' that was the kanji for 'face.' I've heard it referenced – eight faces… The given name 'Izaya,' on the other hand, I could only guess."

"I see…" _If I had my notebook, I could have him write down and kill everyone so easy, it's ridiculous…_ "Ah, this is bothering me," he said, setting down the pen and twisting his wrist back and forth. "Would you mind just taking my watch off for me? I'll put it in my pocket instead." Light felt anticipation rising in him. _Calm down, there's still the possibility that there's nothing in that watch…_

"Oh—sure." He fiddled with the watch's clasps and took it off of Light's wrist, handing it to his only hand.

"Thank you, Shintaro-kun," Light said warmly, and shifted so that he could pocket the gadget. "If you could just write down… ah?" Light watched as Shintaro picked up the pen and put it in his own pocket, leaning back on the couch. "…What are you doing?"

"…I bet you were the same way I was in school," Shintaro remarked quietly, and Light could only continue staring.

 _What does that have to do with right now…? Ah, calm down, Light, he's just making conversation…_

"I've mentioned that I'm a dropout; a shut-in. But… ah." His grey eyes dulled. "You seemed like a prodigy the moment I saw you. You just have a way about you that I recognized. You are, aren't you?"

"I… suppose so," Light agreed, returning to gentle conversation while wondering under his warm expression what the _hell_ Shintaro was doing…

"Always a perfect score, am I right? Probably number one in the school… the district…"

"…The country, in fact," Light admitted, touching his chin to contain his pride.

"Exactly." Shintaro sighed. "How long did it take for you to get bored?"

Light blinked, taken aback. The way it all begun for him… a boredom that staunched his motivation… Colored the world grey. _'This is world is rotten.'_

"Eventually, there's no real point to anything. You look at the world and see it 'for what it really is.' Everything goes monochrome, and there's nothing you can really do. Accomplishments mean nothing; it's always the same. No matter who's proud of you, it doesn't matter to you because you don't feel like you've done anything different. You don't even have to try, right? Because even if you don't put effort in, you're 'better' than everyone else. You live listlessly. There's nothing but emptiness. Ice. And… grey. Numbness. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

Light drew his lips together, unable to respond.

"…I was one of those students, too. Maybe you're a little different. Looks like you know how to smile and pretend. Looks like you know how to put your effort in anyway, despite everything. Both of those were things I never learned how to do. I became nothing but a fading light… a heart who only wished to disappear. You, you set yourself on fire while I flickered and petered and wished to be finally put out." He paused. "I'm… getting all emotional and crap—sorry." He crossed his arms. "But I'm not giving that pen back, no matter what you say. Because I'm _not_ going to fade away, and there's no way I'm going to let you snuff out anyone I consider a 'friend,' after coming this far…" He pointed to the page. "You have no reason to kill most of them, so even if that pen was the way you killed people, they shouldn't die. You wouldn't write all those names… your _own_ name, even, to kill everyone. It doesn't work like that. You'd said earlier that the killer killing criminals needed only a name and a face. All the talk about kanji… well." He closed his eyes. "And maybe I'm wrong about all this, and you're really just curious. Maybe I'm just being rude, taking your pen and saying all these things about you. Maybe it's all just a grave misinterpretation. But, to be clear…" He looked to the brown-haired one with apologetic grey eyes. "…I'm about 98% certain."

Light's blood ran cold. He heard the echoes of the detective that now lay dead on the playing field. _Why didn't I factor Shintaro himself into this?_ Light scolded himself. _Underestimation?_ The word 'overconfidence' entered his consciousness, and he wondered if such a slip had to do with that blade… Surely so.

He began to laugh, and Shintaro looked at him tiredly. "Ah, it's okay, Shintaro-kun. You can think what you want of me… At the very least, I can know the truth. Even if I were going to do that, what is there to say? What would _you_ do?"

"Keep the pen," Shintaro shrugged. "Seeing as this is your 'weapon'… I'd have to suppose that either this _is_ your murder weapon, or your 'judgment' is cast by writing. It's an easy answer. Either way, I'm keeping it. Even if I'm wrong, then you can go on without your pen. It doesn't inconvenience you to the point of harm… or anything like that. It's just a pen." He shrugged, then sighed. "I'm a light sleeper, and it's in my pants pocket – you won't be able to get it back while I'm asleep. So there. I'm done being logical; I hate that." Getting to his feet, he grudgingly went back over to his loveseat. As he sat, he looked at Light with furrowed brow and concerned eyes. "But… I have to wonder… Is this the work of the Harrowing Blade, or would you have done that sort of thing to Roppi anyway? I… can only hope that it's only because that blade took away your self-control… I can only hope you lied when you said that you fixed its effects. Can you say that it wasn't of your own will? That you lied about having solved the puzzle? Or are you just that desensitized to be able to kill someone like Roppi, who still has a chance of being saved… who's come so far, without even batting an eye? Because to say Roppi should die…" He paused, then shook his head. "Well? Can you tell me?"

Light opened his mouth, and closed it. Then tried again: "I wanted to believe that the effects were gone, but I… truthfully haven't escaped it, and don't know what to do…" He held onto his own breath in apprehension. That, was only half of a lie.

"I wish I could believe you whole-heartedly," Shintaro mumbled, and curled up on his smaller couch. "You should go to sleep. Tomorrow's gonna suck for you with those injuries… You should get some rest while you can, or you'll regret it." The shut-in closed his eyes, nestling himself under his blanket. "Goodnight, Light."

"Goodnight, Shintaro-kun." Light realized his tone was one of annoyance. He felt hot coals of outrage festering in his chest, and he knew he was on the brink of heading towards total lack of self-control again. _I can't lose my control. I at the very least need to keep_ myself _…_ The anger shriveled and morphed into fear. _Can I keep myself? If it weren't for Roppi, I'd be fine! If I… if I…_

"Wish I had music…," uttered Shintaro under his breath.

… _If I die here, what will happen?_ His breath caught in his throat. _I don't want to die. No. No way, I can't—I can't die; not here. Definitely not here. Not—_ His chest tightened. He felt desperation thick in his lungs, consuming him whole. _I don't want to die… no, anything but_ that…

 _Ryuk isn't here… Whoever these game masters are, are they more powerful than a Shinigami? More powerful than even a_ god? _Gods and demons alike… that's right; both have been dragged to this arena…_

 _How can I stand a_ chance? _Where can the answer be hiding? I have that scrap of paper… –_ an assumption that had metamorphosed from a vague hope of an option to a definite fact that was his only saving choice – _…and Shintaro helped me take off my watch—_

His mouth twisted into an uncontrollable grin of disdainful mirth. Wrath coursed through him like adrenaline. The two raged within him in an unstable balance of mirthful ire and debilitating dread. The war raged within him, his harrowed lifeblood running with pride, trepidation, and desensitized bloodlust all the same.

 _The worst of me, huh…?_

In his swirling thoughts of indignation, horror, and rage, his tumultuous psyche came at last to a shining conclusion – an idea of vivid clarity which the game masters would most certainly have designated as a very special place…

 _The graveyard._

If he could find something there; anything… If there were an items module, he could get his followers – they'd help him for sure! Even if he forfeited, then there was a possibility he'd be forfeiting not his ownership of the Death Note, the notebook of judgment, but forfeiting these ridiculous death games! If he did that, he'd surely be fine!

And even if there were no items pillars in the graveyard, there was surely _something_ to be found there…! The game masters wouldn't put something so mysterious as a _graveyard_ on the game field without a purpose placed to it…

…And even if there was _nothing_ to be found there, he would be alone there, and in that time of isolation, he could pull his wristwatch out and figure out how to write down Roppi's name…! He had a pin in his watch along with his scrap of paper—he could use his own blood if he needed to!

It was as though he were drawn there by some tantalizing entity, led by the hand—the spirit.

Shintaro was in the beginnings of slumber, dreams flitting behind his eyelids by the time Light got up, putting all of his weight on his left leg. Mustering up his own tolerance, he began limping to the door. Shintaro only awoke at the _click_ the door made upon its closing, stirring and opening his eyes to find that Light was gone. He didn't know what to think.

Light left the house, limping with jaded but focused eyes, set on his goal of the graveyard gates. His thoughts deteriorated, leaving him with one repeating notion: the need to get away. Above him, the stars were bright and the moon hung high. _Yagami,_ said the back of his thoughts, if absently. _Night God. That's me._

Approaching the gates, he grasped at the iron and pulled, grimacing as he did so while the gates themselves creaked in protest. He felt his gut screaming at him to stop, but couldn't tell whether it was out of premonition or out of physical injury. Maybe both. After opening the gate just enough, he slipped in, clutching at his abdomen. He felt a wetness there. His wound had reopened.

 _If I bleed out… out here, who will…? Can I make it back?_

The thought was swallowed by his blinding emotion, but he kept going, breathing heavily and hobbling along with a look of pained determination. He staggered by the first headstones, pausing at the name engraved there: _Uryuu Minene._ He didn't take the time to read any other inscription on the stone, using it for support momentarily before continuing on to the next, leaving a bloody handprint in his wake. It wasn't a name he recognized anyhow. He kept on.

 _Yuno Gasai._

 _Yukiteru Amano._

 _A-ya._

Light began to slow down; something was very off about this place. He felt that it was beginning to get eerie, but he couldn't place it. The sky was mostly clear, and the clouds around the moon were glowing in cool light.

He knew that there was most certainly something for him to find at the end of this path, yes, using each headstone as a support. _I can make it. I can make it._

Light tottered a bit, then stopped, shifting onto his good leg and staring at the headstone he was approaching.

 _Shintaro Kisaragi._

Something rose in him, but it was shoved down by a blossoming terror. _Is this where we end up? Is this a foretelling of who will die; is it certain? Or are these just here, one for every player…?_

He staggered backwards, slowly but surely. He turned to find that the headstone on the opposite side of the path read, _Seidou Takizawa._

 _Are they messing with me? Is that it?_

Just ahead: _Ken Kaneki._

 _Ginshi "Shirazu" Fuchi._

 _Shirou Emiya._

With hesitation, he trudged forward as though his feet were leaden. He felt as though he were walking through a realm he wasn't meant to see.

 _L Lawliet._

Light stopped here and gazed at the stone as if in disbelief. He absorbed the reality of the stone before him. It seemed fake, like a set-up. Something held him in place. He couldn't move. Turning his head as if on command, he saw the next grave, just beside L.

 _Light Yagami._

"No…" _I won't die. I won't die here. I can't die here…_ He dropped to his knees. _I'm not here to look at the gravestones that they've set up anyway… I'm here to try writing on that piece of paper…!_ Kneeling on the ground, he pulled his watch from his pocket, pulling at the little screw that allowed him to open the secret compartment. As it opened, a gust of wind ghosted through the cemetery, and he covered the scrap to protect it from flying away. With the cold rush of air, he felt his mind clear. It quickened; the air was racing with itself, trying to catch up to time itself; match the earth's rotation or something. Light almost thought that a storm had blown in, but as the air sped up further, him clutching tighter to his watch, he felt himself get purged of something blotting his system. A thought came to him: _Everything I've just done was incredibly foolish._

Ready to chastise himself for all of his previous idiotic actions, he felt the gale cease. He opened his eyes to the sky above him – the clouds had dissipated, but all he could see was the moon above amongst a sea of inky black. There were no stars, but… Everything was somehow more vivid than it ever had been. Everything from after the point after being stabbed by Roppi's blade had been washed neatly; his memories were patchy. All he could conjecture was that he had been a fool. He felt like he'd just awoken from some sort of mortifying dream.

 _What am I doing here?_ he wondered, justifiable fear grabbing onto his insides and constricting his breathing. He looked around at the tombstones surrounding him on either side of the dirt path he knelt upon. _I must look ridiculous, kneeling here like this. Oh, Roppi… making a fool of me—him, and the game masters… letting him have that thing. I'm sure… I'm sure that the game masters think that terrible trinket is a fun little toy._

The stones around him no longer had recognizable names etched into their surfaces. Now they were faceless, unreadable. Just in front of him was a large mausoleum, looming over him in eerie reminiscence of 'the end.' Before the mausoleum of stone was a girl, not even a teenager yet, it seemed. She was young enough to have been untouched by puberty, her long, thin, wavy hair flowing wispily in the light zephyr that followed the gale that had just been a moment ago. She wore black leggings to her ankles, shorts atop them. A jean jacket covered a pink tank top. This person was peering at Light in wonder, her mouth agape. "Oh… my… God."

Somehow, these words, this person… it all seemed too _ordinary_ to Light – what was this person _doing_ here? Was she a player? A game master? What? It just seemed so out of place, so regular, like an everyday occurrence—just another day at the graveyard for me; how was your day?

"I mean," she corrected, "oh my _Light_." And she giggled in what should have been mockery of his supposed God complex… Honestly, it sounded more like simple childish humor.

Though it vaguely irked Light, he couldn't be all too mad at the remark. It was really just a kid… who knew his name, that was waiting for him in the middle of a graveyard, in front of a _mausoleum_. Nothing to be worried about.

As he looked closer, though, he felt as though he was looking into a void. The air around this girl seemed to be dispelled, the image around her was just slightly distorted, as if she didn't belong here and was taking up space that wasn't meant to be disturbed. It was as though every other part of the world was seen through bleary eyes, while she was in vivid clarity… a stark contrast to all other things.

"…Who are you?" he asked, a tentative question.

"Oh." She paused, folding her slender fingers together in front of her as if in contemplation. "If I tell you my name, you won't kill me, will you?"

Light watched her, dumbfounded. "Of course not," he replied. He realized his watch was still in his hand.

"I'm Anna," she smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Light." The girl named Anna held out her hand as if in greeting, then hesitated, pulling it back to her side. "Never mind, um… I don't want to mess anything up."

"What do you mean?" Light asked, cautious.

"Here's one thing, I fixed Roppi's knife on you." She paused. "You're welcome."

He frowned slightly. "…Thank you."

Anna lit up, apparently pleased that he'd actually thanked her. "Sorry about Roppi, he sure can be a jerk. I like him, though. He's nice; it's just in secret."

Light's eyes narrowed in vague curiosity.

"Kinda like A-ya." She was looking at the sky as if in nostalgia. "A-ya is nice in secret. I hope he's okay."

Light began shifting to get to his feet, but she put her hands on her hips and snipped, "No!" at which he froze. "Your leg hurts. It needs to get better first."

Obliging grudgingly, he shifted so that his legs were in front of him rather than beneath him. Now he could sit casually in comfort. Well, as much comfort as he could find here. "Why are you in a graveyard?" he inquired, his eyes burning in suspicion.

"The others don't want me to mess it all up," she pouted, sitting on the ground to face him. She wrapped her arms around her knees, looking at him with wide, bright eyes. Innocence. "But now I'm not alone, 'cause you came to visit."

"The others?" he repeated, slowly piecing together the purpose of this meeting. "Do you mean the game masters?"

"Game masters?" Anna repeated. "I guess you could call them that… if you want. I guess 'game masters' to _you_ , but not to me." She looked down, her eyes becoming distinctly sorrowful. "I'd explain it, but it wouldn't make much sense to you."

He frowned slightly, stifling his offense.

"No, even if you're a genius, it doesn't make sense," she clarified, and he flinched ever so slightly.

 _She sees right through you, huh? Interesting, when it's me…_ He chuckled slightly.

"You know, I like you better when you're not Kira," Anna said to him, her voice disappointed. She began making circles in the dirt with her fingers. "You're more fun that way. I also like Seidou from before he goes all 'I wanna eat your face.'" She sighed woefully. "Like, what the heck?"

 _Did she just compare me to Seidou? That… sadistic, cannibalistic maniac…?_ He tilted his head in question, hiding his discontent.

"Seriously, he's way scary now… I bet he'd eat me if he came into this graveyard…" She trailed off, her thoughts somewhere distant.

"Why a graveyard?" he asked, and she looked at him.

"Huh?"

"Why… are you here?" he tried again, smiling slightly with brow furrowed in concern. He tried to make light of the situation. Tried to act friendly. After the mess he'd just been in, it was slightly more difficult than usual. "Why not a different area of the playing field?"

"I'm here because… because I'm _me_ ," she answered, as if it were obvious.

"I… see…" _So she's related to the game masters somehow… but…?_ "What was the idea behind all of the names on the headstones?" he pried further, and she blinked at him.

"What do you mean? You mean those?" She pointed to the mausoleum behind her, and Light looked, if only out of vague interest. There were six blocks of stone that had engravings on them – three on each side of the entrance. The lettering was almost-gothic and seemed to be done long ago even though there wasn't a single chip in the monument.

On the left, the three names were as follows:

 _Tyler Durden  
Sky Aster  
David Rodmann_

On the right, they were:

 _Corey Goldenfeld  
_ _Charlie Greyson  
_ _Ty "Rayne" Aleksandr_

Atop the frame that held the intricately designed bronze doors, there was but one word etched in the stone, as though it were the name of the mausoleum itself: Musa. The six names each had an inscription in Latin beneath them ( _consilium, profundum, tempus, symbolorum, cor, vinculum_ ), but there wasn't anything that Light could immediately conjecture about the names or the words that followed them.

"Ah… no, actually…," he denied, and she giggled at him.

"Light, silly, you're already dead," she said, and he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat.

"Wh…" _What does this girl think she's saying…?_ "…What do you mean…?"

"I mean, you died." It was a matter-of-fact statement.

He found that he was breathless. _Different realms, different supernatural entities… Is she a Shinigami?_ "…Does that make all of this…?"

"The place you go when you die?" She stood, crossing her arms. "No, we're not that cool." She beamed at him. "No, we're just playing a game, right? You said so. You just—already died, that's all."

"That doesn't make sense," he informed her, but she only laughed again, this time a childish mockery of the maniacal.

"No, it doesn't," she agreed. "But neither do you, meanie poop!"

… _Meanie…?_

"Ryuk's worse, he's the one that kills you. I'm not saying that _you're_ dead, right now. I'm saying that you've died already. And so has L. _You_ killed L. _You_ killed him."

"Are you… telling me the future?" he asked, eyes widening in in comprehension. _Ryuk told me from the very beginning that he would be the one to take my life. And L…! But, he… here, he…_

"Not yours, obviously," she grinned. "You're not going home."

"What?"

"You can't, just like L can't."

"But L is…"

"L is dead," she confirmed. She paused, her light brown hair flowing with the breeze. "I want 'innocent' Light. Not 'Kira' Light… It would have been so much more fun." Anna sighed lightly. "We could have been friends that way, you know? I got rid of Roppi's stupid item thing so that you could at least have had the choice whether to go the good way or the bad. But because you're the Kira Light, it makes you all suspicious, makes you all grumpy. You act nice, but what's the point if it's fake? Why is it so many of you have to change so, so much?"

Eyes narrowing, his grip tightened on his watch. "Who are you?" he repeated.

"My name, or my face?" she huffed, crossing her arms again and leaning towards him. He could _feel_ her presence. He couldn't tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Neither. Who are _you?_ "

"Oh." She ran a hand through her hair absently. "I'm… well. Fine." She straightened up, looking down on him with sudden seriousness. He stared right back, unwavering. "I've gotten rid of your harrow or whatever. So." Her tone lowered slightly. "Think on the things people have said to you since then. That Shirou person talking about his dream: _he_ is your ideal, isn't he? Isn't he the person you were? Who you tried to be? You want to be justice, don't you? I'll tell you, he ends up pretty much doing your thing, going around killing criminals. He's the picture of what Light wants, what he was, what he wished. Then there is Shintaro, who began the same way you did. Someone so good they don't care. Both of them tried to reach out to you in their own ways. How do you feel about that?"

"I… am not sure what you mean," he said carefully.

"I want you to understand everything you've done, so do it," she said coolly, and he felt a crushing weight on his chest. Gasping for air, he curled forward, his ears ringing, his eyes burning. It was like something had settled on him, something cold and heavy, something so crushing from the inside out… that he…

 _I've felt this before. I have._

He remembered curling up, fetal position under his blanket in bed, wide awake with the horror that he'd actually killed someone. How many was that, now?

Justification. Desensitization.

After having caught his breath, he glowered in outrage up at the little girl. It was very clear now that her intent was no longer peaceful. Looking at her, he noticed again the odd way his perception seemed to bend around her.

"You're a killer," Anna said plainly. "You're a mortal, too. Even though you don't like to think about it. Not that I can blame you for refusing either of those things, but they're the truth." She took a step towards him. "You are no god. You're just… Light Yagami."

As she took another step, he felt his senses beginning to deceive him; it was almost as though she brought a numbness with her wherever she went, and he could feel it in the air.

"I want you to know exactly what the truth is. I want you to see yourself for what you really are. What you were. And what you will be. I want you to understand, because I wanted to be your friend once upon a time, and now that just can't happen if you end up all messed up in the head."

A sense of impending… impending… he didn't even know _what_ it was, but he knew _something_ was about to befall him, and he was frozen in place, unable to protest no matter how much he tried. He was immobile, rendered useless.

"I'm sorry, Light," Anna apologized, eyes softening. She was right in front of him now. "What's more terribly 'real' than a graveyard?"

 _Real?_ His gaze flickered; something behind her caught his eye – someone standing off and to the side at his slight right. He felt that terrible terror choking him again, rising in his throat and asphyxiating him with the scream that he refused to let free.

It was the ghost of himself, staring right back at him with clear eyes, clear conscience. He looked concerned. Troubled. Fearful of the boy that Light knew was himself; he was watching as he looked at himself with sorrowful distaste. "…Stop…," he got out, going against the weight and the fear and the immobility that had flooded him.

Confusion crossed Anna's orbs. "Huh?" She looked behind her, then back at Light. "Hm… I guess that's not me. I'm not about symbols. I don't get them."

Light's vision shifted, his eyes flitting frantically. The finality of death loomed before him. _No._ Waiting for him behind one of the tombstones was the faceless figure of L, hands in his pockets, slouching as always. " _No,_ " he croaked, trying to back away from Anna. " _I don't want to die!_ " he cried out, turning around and scrabbling to get away from the girl walking after him calmly.

"I am Reality, Light," she said to him, and the honest answer came to him like a stake to the heart.

 _That can't be…_ " _Please… please…_ "

"And that's why… you can't leave this graveyard." She was standing over him, now, and all at once he felt an eruption from within him – a wall had broken. From the stark black-and-white world he'd known, the two concrete groups of good and evil… From his perception of monochrome, he suddenly envisioned color, blossoming and blooming in an explosion of every hue imaginable. He felt as though he'd been colorblind, and for a few seconds, he found that he'd forgotten how to breathe. His eyes burned, his face felt warm. He heard faint drops of water on the ground. He stopped scrabbling away and sank to the ground, leaden in his epiphany. He could see every shade of morality. He felt the saturated grey called doubt. He felt the purple dread and the red rage. Suddenly, the world had been painted in colors he'd forgotten existed. Colors he'd never even _known_ existed.

 _It's so beautiful._

His vision was blurry with something wet—he closed his eyes and felt the moon above him, hanging in midnight's suspension amongst the inky black. He felt as though ink was in his lungs, in his throat, coating him and boring into him like acid.

He realized all the color that he'd made into the dark crimson of death.

 _My dream… I just… want…_

"I don't—want to die," he repeated brokenly, his voice weak.

"You won't," Anna answered him. "I promise. Thank you for understanding, at least right now… But I cheated." She paused. "So… It doesn't count."

"Make it stop…," he whispered.

She didn't answer at first. Then, "I will. You won't die, Light… You'll just be… not-real." The last sentence was spoken softly, regretfully yet somehow mercilessly. He felt her hand at his back, and he felt something cool and refreshing flooding him, clearing him of the pain from his wounds. Kneeling on the ground beside him, the young girl embraced him, the numbness swallowing him whole and drowning him in the night sky. He didn't have the chance to protest. Anna knelt there with only darkness in her arms for some time. At her side was the grave of Light Yagami. She was alone, a sole figure in desolation.

"With just me out here…" – her voice was soft; it was one with the breeze – "…it gets really boring, you know?"


	7. With(out)

**Sorry for the (quite) late update - the end of the semester left me a bit scattered. Despite it's lateness, I hope you still enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

It was before Light had gone on his escapade, and the stars that weren't hidden by clouds were sparkling in the luminescence of togetherness. "It's kinda weird," whispered Yukiteru to A-ya. "…Having so many people around. I bet most of them are awake." They were sitting on one of the rocks, trying to keep down their tones so as not to disturb anyone. So as not be heard.

"Maybe," A-ya agreed. He felt like he'd lost something important – he didn't know whether it was because of the silent company around them, though. Eight other people… Two of them were on watch, even: Twelve and Minene were sitting on the opposite side of the clearing, on their own rock with neither of them facing Yukki and A-ya.

Noticing them, Twelve gave a hearty wave to them, and Yukki gave a little awkward one in turn while A-ya gazed at the terrorist without expression. "…It's definitely strange," A-ya admitted, closing his eyes. "Less… isolated. I don't know whether I like it or not."

"It should be fine," Yukiteru assured him. "I mean, we still have our time together here… and with all these people around, we're way safer than we'd be alone. Setting up night shifts… none of us ever did that." He tugged at his hat. "I guess we were lucky, huh?" He laughed nervously.

"Yeah," A-ya agreed distantly.

"Right, so what was it you were trying to tell me earlier?" asked Yukki, leaning forward to peer at A-ya's downturned face.

"…Oh…" His eyes flickered. "It was… nothing, really."

"Well, I'd like to know," the other prodded. "It wasn't nothing if you wanted to tell me… right?"

A-ya grunted noncommittally. "It was just… that C-ta and I used to play a game back when we were little, where I would be—the dark-clad hero… And he'd be the villain, see. I wonder if he would have remembered now…? Ah, of course he would. C-ta is C-ta…" He trailed off, and Yukki gazed in sympathy, lost for words. "…But that's why it's like a game, being like this. I'm super free… all-powerful, or something." He laughed ever so slightly, and Yukiteru smiled. "It feels like a dream."

"Does it?" The diary owner's eyes were sparkling. "It makes me wonder… wonder what it'll be like when I use my item." He beamed excitedly, gripping his hands into fists. "Imagine the look on Minene's face! Hah!"

A-ya looked at him with soft expression before looking back up at the sky. "Hey, Yukiteru."

"Eh? Yeah?"

"If something were to go wrong, what would happen?"

Yukiteru blinked at him confusedly. "What… do you mean?"

"Ah…" He began to laugh. "What would you do if I were possessed by a demon?" A-ya asked him.

"Possessed by a— _A-ya!_ " he cried in protest to A-ya's playful chuckling. Yukiteru huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "…Well, if you were possessed by a demon, well, you'd probably keep him as a pet or something, knowing you." A-ya only laughed harder, at which Yukki cried, " _Seriously!_ " in that hushed kind of outcry… like kids at a sleepover trying not to wake their parents. The diary owner found himself laughing with A-ya, though maybe he wasn't sure why. Together they fell into a fit of good-natured amusement.

"Ah, ah, Yukiteru," said A-ya eventually, now lit up with something warm. "So Celty, she's apparently a Dullahan—have you ever heard of it?"

"Huh? No, I haven't," he answered. A-ya's excitement was contagious. "Go on… What's that? Sounds interesting…"

Given the go ahead, A-ya drove right on forward into a full explanation of Celtic folklore and the meaning of the Dullahan and the implications of Celty being one and…

…Not that he wouldn't have told Yukki anyway, regardless of whether he'd urged him to tell. And just like that, their togetherness was revived, as it always was.

Across the clearing, Twelve listened to the muted laughter of Yukiteru and A-ya, giving them a glance out of the corner of his eye. "Hm… Hey, Minene," he said, and she grunted grumpily in answer. They were facing opposite directions on the largest rock in the area. "I think it's pretty funny that they picked two terrorists to take first watch, don't you?" he asked.

"Probably not the first thing on their mind," Minene answered bluntly. "Besides, being on watch is a pain."

Twelve leaned back on the stone, lying on his back with his head at her side so he could look at her. "So, can I ask a question?"

She frowned down at him, annoyed. "Well, you just did, didn't you? More than once."

"You're right," he shrugged. "But will you answer it?"

"Depends on the question," she grumbled.

"Why are you a terrorist?"

Her eye narrowed in intense annoyance. "None of _your_ business," she growled.

"C'mon, as a fellow terrorist, I kinda wanna know!" he pressed, and she shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest and crossing one leg over the other.

"Just because you blow shit up doesn't mean it's any of your business why _I_ do it."

"I'll tell you why _I_ do," he offered, and she rolled her single eye in exasperation.

"You think I care?" she scoffed.

"No," he admitted, sitting back up. "But terrorism is born from a statement, isn't it? What's yours?" His eyes were shrouded, not that she could see it. A smile still touched his lips.

"My statement?" She clicked her tongue. "There is no god and the world sucks. How's that?" His answer was laughter, and she turned sharply to glare at him. "Don't tell me it isn't true!"

He didn't look back. "Well, I can't tell whether there's a god or anything," he conceded, "but I admit there's a lot wrong with the world. I'll give you that. But to be a terrorist… ah, I guess that's as good a reason as any."

She paused, her anger shifting to confusion. "Well then? What's yours, then?" she asked harshly.

" _Von,_ " he answered obscurely, and she squinted at him.

"What?"

A dark laugh escaped his mouth. "To unveil truth. To be remembered. To… to play a game, honestly." He raised his hands slightly, palms facing the sky. "Imagine a world that you've been rejected from… a world where you've never been needed by anyone… a world where you have no right to existence. You set up something made to destroy, but only you have the switch that saves that world. Suddenly, everyone is watching. The whole world is in the palm of your hand. Suddenly, _everyone_ needs you. The _whole world_ needs you. Even if it's just to spare their lives."

She stared at him with intensity, a question in her eye. She began to laugh. "That's your idea of a game, huh?" she snickered. "Really dark… I love it."

He leaned back to look at her, lighting up. "But don't get me wrong," he said brightly, "we don't kill anyone."

"Hah?" She quirked an eyebrow. As he burst into a fit of laughter, she frowned. "That kind of game, then… You're fucked up."

"As my partner says," he grinned, "sanity has never made our acquaintance, not from the very beginning."

She blinked, then gave a bark of laughter. "That so? Well, well… Maybe you're not so bad."

"I like to think not," he agreed, and she shook her head, turning back to where she was designated to watch. "Ah, but you're terrible, you know that?"

"Yeah," she smirked. "I know." And Twelve laughed, light-hearted.

On the ground, lying in the grass, there lay the six at 'rest.' Among them was Izaya gazing impassively at the sky and listening to the quiet conversations surrounding him, with Twelve and Minene at his right and Yukiteru and A-ya at his left. His expression did not change at all throughout, absorbing every word and pocketing them for information purposes. Twelve was becoming ever more interesting to him, but everything about him had already been 'interesting.' A-ya, on the other hand, was interesting in his own right. Yes, that was right, Izaya had new toys to play with—the gullible Yukiteru and the irritable Minene… He had Suzuya to taunt, Twelve to pick apart…

…But really, it didn't make him feel any better.

 _There's a difference, of course, between A-ya and I. We're both quite alike… and he's managed to surprise me with the level of which he takes joy in the same things I do. But…_

The night passed, and Izaya watched the stars slowly rotate. Watched the moon take its course in the sky. Yukiteru and A-ya settled for the night, eventually coming to the agreement that they should both lay down and go to bed. It was A-ya who asked for them to retire, strangely enough. He listened to the rustling of them preparing to sleep. He heard the whispered goodnights.

Izaya felt something almost insectile settling itself in his chest, encasing him in something invisible. Something only he could perceive, but boy oh boy did it make all the difference. The feeling birthed only negativity.

 _Ah, what a foolish emotion,_ he thought mildly, bringing a hand to his chest quietly. _No use in that. Oh well… stop that._ In all serenity, he raised his hand into the air… then slammed it into his chest. Only then did he let his arm rest at his side. _Go away,_ he thought bitterly, glaring at the sky.

A feeling of stagnancy returned, his expression one of nothingness. _That's right, because A-ya still has people flock to him. Because he has Yukiteru-kun, and he gets along well with Roy, and with Rika, and with Celty, and with…_

He felt suddenly as though he was the only one lying on that grass, and everyone else was gone. Total isolation.

… _I would like some tea._

He closed his eyes. _All the people I see, I love them so, so much—enough that one day, surely…!_

But his thoughts were half-hearted. He couldn't bring himself to think in fixated glee. He felt that odd heaviness again, and didn't know what to do about it. _It's so quiet… Twelve, won't you talk?_ He brought the heel of his palm to his forehead, closing his eyes. Discomfort swelled in him. _I could do without the quiet… What… about Celty…?_ His chest seized. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that perhaps he wanted to listen to the cheery whispers of Yato, teasing and playful. The hisses of Yukine in turn. He wanted to join in the banter. He wanted to have Shizuo snap at him, telling him to _get the fuck to sleep_ , because he was nothing but a goddamn flea that got under people's skin…

" _Ah, Shizu-chan,_ " he uttered under his breath. His expression twisting, he screwed his eyes shut. _You, too, were able to find that. 'Connections.' It's hilarious, really, that the information broker is the one trying to figure out something like a 'connection.' Something like… something like…_

A dry, dismal laugh escaped him. "You bastard," he remarked breathily, filled with something unpleasant. _You really did me in, didn't you?_ he thought, glaring at the moon with one eye covered by his hand. _How dare I say you never caught me, huh? You damned protozoan… you've got me. You've really got me. You, who was close to so many people… people like Celty and Shinra; people like Yukine and Yato. All that time, I wanted to torment you, but why?_ Izaya couldn't come up with an answer. He lowered his hand to his side again, resting it on the cool grass. It was rather frustrating. With a sigh, he folded his hands together over his stomach.

 _Well, Shizuo,_ he thought, staring into the stars with hollowed out eyes. _…Having done what you have… having gone and sacrificed yourself for the person you hate most, I have to say you've given me the greatest puzzle yet. Really funny—yeah,_ really _funny…_

… _But seeing as you've done that, Protozoan… you'd better damn well be happy with that choice. Wherever you've ended up… whatever's become of you—I swear, you better damn well be fucking happy…!_ Something was stirring inside him, struggling to free itself. _…Seriously…_ He brought one of his arms over his eyes and rested it there. _You shouldn't have died there. You shouldn't have. It was stupid of you, you know that? Not that we didn't know you were a complete idiot, but…_

… _At least know you won't be forgotten. You, surely, have people who'll miss you. Someone like you shouldn't have had to die in such a stupid way. It should have been someone else. Not you. Not you…_

… _It probably should have been me._

Something squeezed in his chest. He bit his lip. Hard. He tasted iron. What was that he'd said just before he died? 'Even if I hate you, you're still human'? Izaya came to the conclusion that he'd actually rather Shizuo be around hating his guts rather than lying dead in a pool of his own blood. Swiftly, the feeling of stagnancy befell him again, a weight that settled on him and made him want nothing but to lie there until the end, uncaring of whatever may happen to him if he refused to move for the rest of the game. What could possibly be done? Let Yato come and kill him; let the others mock him, it wouldn't make a difference, would it?! Let them! Let them!

 _That's ridiculous. Izaya Orihara is not someone who gives up. Izaya is the one who is able to find beauty in the most twisted of scenarios…_ His mouth twitched. _That's right. I'll be the one smiling at your funeral, Shizuo… No, no, don't get me wrong, it won't be disrespect…_

… _But look at me._ His mouth twisted into a bitter smile. _I'm practically falling apart. Hah! Shizuo, don't think you can go and tear me down… especially if you're not around to even see it! There's no point in that, is there?_

There was a pause. The weight on him had eased. _…Ah, the people who have others flock to them… People like Shizuo. Like A-ya, even though he is like me… Why is that, I wonder? Ah. There's… Yato._ The thought struck him as funny. _Yato, now… He's nowhere near that point, now… He's just a monster. There's no way for people to flock to him like before…_

 _If someone that people can love… if someone like Yato… can become someone whom people avoid… does that then mean… that the reverse is possible?_

He closed his eyelids, sighing slightly in annoyance with himself. _What a stupid thought… Why wonder?_

Gradually, sleep tugged him into the uneasy dark of rest.

* * *

Yato took rest in the crook of a tree, leaning on the trunk and sitting upon a thick limb, one leg dangling off of the branch. His breathing was heavy; he was gasping for air. Nora was sitting on the branch beside him, her red eyes narrowed slightly in distant alarm. "Is that one done?"

"Seidou?" he choked out, and she nodded.

He breathlessly nodded back. He pointed off to the east, closer to the edge of the wooded area. "Back there… Stopped. He needs to rest too." Swallowing, he gritted his teeth and pulled off his jacket. His shirt.

"Your chest," she agreed, going to tear off another piece of her white kimono. "I don't much like the one that cut you."

He didn't respond, just let her tend to his wounds without answer. By the time she was tying off her makeshift bandages, he'd somewhat caught his breath. "Thanks."

She smiled at him. "Of course, Yato…" She watched as he put his long-sleeved white shirt back on, spoiled with splotches of deep red.

"We need to lose that guy," he said seriously. "My jersey." He held up the jacket, ripped, torn, charred, and sodden with his own blood. "This is what'll do it."

"Your jacket," she remarked, tilting her head. "A scent trail, then? Give him two trails to follow?"

He nodded, then looked at her gravely. "Do you know what that means, Nora?"

She gazed at him with jaded warmth. "Don't worry, Yato… I can be your bait if it means that you'll be okay." Her doll-like features upturned in contentedness. "So, what is your plan, then? I take your jacket and go one way, while you go another? Is that it?"

"Mostly," he answered. Yato put one hand on his knee, gazing out to the little walking path set beneath them not too far away. "What I'll have you do… is head over to the groups resting at the fringe of the forest… that way." He pointed south, where Groups 3 and 6 were nestled. "I know there are people over there… If it's Izaya's group… if it's Kuroha's new vessel, even… that would be ideal. Seidou is hungry—if he gets tripped up by a group, it's likely he'll attack, being as visceral as he is right now. From there…" His eyes narrowed. "Either he thins out the group, or the group kills Seidou. Maybe even both. Once things get dangerous… then do a mental shout-out. I'll call out 'Hiki,' and you'll rejoin me. Safe."

She looked at him for some time; at his distant expression. She shifted slightly on her branch so that she could lean into his side. He didn't react. "Yato… I'll do it. Don't worry. I'd do anything to make sure that you were okay…" He grunted in answer, and she took pause. "…Ah, though I wonder…" She closed her eyes. "If I were to die for you… would you be so upset as you are over that blond boy…?" She felt him go rigid, and her small smile played over her lips again. "Don't worry… even if you weren't to care… Even if you sacrifice me without a second thought… I wouldn't mind, no… not at all. Because I get to be together with you as a family again. That's enough for me."

"…Hiiro, I won't let you die," he said, his voice taut.

"Did you let him die?" she answered, and he didn't respond. "I didn't think so."

"I won't let you," he repeated, and she nestled more comfortably into his side.

"Okay, Yato," she said.

"…" He lowered his head. "…We should split up soon."

"I know." She didn't move. He looked at her, and at her peaceful face. Releasing a breath, he leaned back on the trunk again, relaxing ever so slightly.

The night was quiet.

* * *

 **As always, I hope all of you have a lovely day~ uvu**


	8. Hit-and-Run

Izaya woke with a start, his heart beating loud in his ears. Sitting up abruptly, he grimaced in annoyance. _Another nightmare?_ he thought bitterly. His ears ringing, he listened to reality shifting back into place within his perception. It was very quiet. Looking over at the 'watchman stone' or whatever you wanted to call it, there were Roy and Celty on watch. He felt something hot in his chest. He hoped Celty didn't notice the way he woke up. _Not that it really matters._

He stretched, listening to the air stir gently around him. Everyone was still. If Izaya were to guess at a time, it would be perhaps four o'clock in the morning. There was a sort of fogginess settled over the rest of the groups, but Izaya's senses were razor-sharp. He was wide awake. He knew there were a few people lying down that were in semi-consciousness, blearily fading in and out of much-needed slumber. _I should try to go back to sleep,_ Izaya thought to himself, closing his eyes and rubbing at the back of his head. He heard something dripping, like morning dew into a pond.

… _What is that?_

He opened his eyes to see a girl, practically glowing in the night. She was crouched childishly in front of him to match his height, and her face was like a doll's. Admittedly, it momentarily frightened him. "Izaya," she smiled sweetly, and Izaya heard the sounds of darkness moving at Celty's command. His mouth twisted.

"Oi!" The harsh warning call of Roy. Izaya didn't pause to look at him and Celty. "Who are you?"

"You've stepped into the wrong group," said Izaya, his eyes narrowing. "…Nora." He felt a strange, pleasant feeling knowing that he had Roy and Celty at his back. Had seven other people ready and willing to fight. Well—more or less. His hand was on the hilt of the Prophet blade. "Where's your fool of a master? Hiding like a coward, hah?"

"A laughing coward is what you are," she answered in sugary ice. "Ah…" She tilted her head. "Your eyes… are very… pretty." There was longing in her expression. "But… it looks as though something's rotting inside them," she added in distaste.

It was then that Celty had her scythe hanging ominously over the back of Nora's neck. The spirit made no move to indicate that she noticed the death threat. "You wish to know the whereabouts of Yato?" she inquired.

"I'd love that, seeing as _you're_ here," Izaya answered easily, lifting the Prophet and holding it in front of him in defensive position.

"Here he is," she said, and pulled the black jersey from her shoulders, holding it up. "Have it, Izaya." She held it out to him, and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Here he is. He was _your_ team member, right?"

"Where is he?" he repeated, and she began to tremble in an eerie form of childish giggling.

"What have you come for?" asked Roy coldly, stepping up. Izaya was listening to the rest of the people stirring, some of them coming to, confusion settling over the clearing.

She didn't answer, only smiled. Izaya got the portentous feeling that this was the calm before the storm. "What have you got planned, Nora?" Izaya's tone had become an ice of its own. He got to his feet, pointing the Prophet at her with a merciless gaze.

[Do you know what this is about, Izaya?] asked Celty, using her good hand to type while keeping the scythe suspended midair above Nora.

He responded without looking at her. "This is about Yato, the God of Calamity… and about Nora's petty little games; her jealousy and her need to have control."

"Sounds like someone I'm looking at," Nora answered him sweetly, not shifting her gaze from his. He clicked his tongue. Unfazed, Nora turned her head to look at the Dark Rider. "Ah, Celty, right?" she asked, her eyes upturned in dark glee. "Do you remember me?"

She paused, then typed, [The spirit weapon used by G3? The scythe?]

"That's right," said Nora, and her mouth began to twist.

[What's that smile for?] Pause. [I never wanted to fight any of you. I'm sorry for that battle. I didn't mean for anyone to die.]

"This isn't about that…" She was filled with cruel mirth.

The whispers were beginning to cycle around as more people woke up. Everyone was trying to figure what was happening. "Wh…what's going on?" asked Yukiteru tentatively, rubbing at his eye.

"Seems we've been infiltrated," Akise answered him, eyes alight with curiosity. "Seems that Izaya-san knows this one."

"Oh…?" Yukiteru looked at A-ya, but A-ya was just watching the scene unfold without expression. His eyes were shining red in the dark.

Minene had mumbled a, "What the fuck…?" upon her awakening, but now she just watched in perplexity with Twelve. "Whoa, wait…"

"Do we kill her?" asked Suzuya blankly, scratching at his messy white hair.

"We don't know yet," answered Twelve quietly.

"No," whispered Rika, her brow furrowed. She was on her hands and knees, trying to see around Izaya and place who was intruding. "Is that…?"

[Then what are you trying to tell me?] Celty asked.

"Yato doesn't really like you…," the spirit was oozing with too much sugar. "I thought I'd tell you… It's because he thinks that you killed the girl named Hiyori." Her mouth curled pleasantly. "I told him you did. He won't believe you… and he definitely won't believe _you_ , Izaya. No, he'll believe _me_. Because the person who killed that bothersome girl will never be blamed."

"Misinformation, hah?" Izaya cocked an eyebrow. "You're pleasantly terrible."

She only giggled in answer while Celty took a subconscious step backwards. [But I never even faced that person!]

"So? It's still indirectly your fault," Nora said happily. "The destructive group that _you_ left behind aided in her demise."

Roy put a hand to Celty's shoulder to indicate that she should calm down.

"Nora, Nora, is that you?" called out the tiny voice of Rika. She ran over and tottered to a stop, popping her head into the group from behind Roy. "Ah, Nora, you're hurt…! That should get taken care of right now… It should be tended to immediately!"

Nora stared impassively at Rika, confusion flitting across her jaded eyes for a moment. "…Oh, Rika…"

"Oi, Rika, careful!" cried Minene, scrambling over and standing over the youngest. "Just 'cause we worked with her doesn't make her all that great—I always got a bad feeling from this one, anyway…"

"I believe that people can change," Rika said matter-of-factly, looking at Minene with firm gaze. She then proceeded to try and push past Roy, only for Roy to stop her, putting a gloved hand on her blue-purple-haired head.

"Rika-chan…," he said apologetically. "We'll just wait and see what intent she has first. If she's peaceful, then we'll tend to her, alright? I promise."

She frowned a bit, but nodded. "Nora, what happened to Maka? Is she alright?"

"Oh, Maka?" Nora blinked, then tilted her head, smiling contentedly a closed-eye smile at Rika. "I got rid of her already."

"Rika, get back over here," said Minene, taking her by the shoulder.

The child's countenance shifted suddenly from one of childish hope to darkness. She seemed to consider saying something, but then decided against it, turning away. Nora laughed at her quietly.

"Well, in any case," said Izaya, "I get the feeling that Nora here isn't just visiting for a friendly chat."

"She brought the jacket of the god," Roy pointed out.

"So, he dead yet?" asked Minene.

"Maybe," said Twelve brightly.

"Sad but needed…" Akise touched his chin. "But somehow, I don't feel that that's the case."

"I wish I had my… um, journal…," Yukiteru mumbled regretfully, and Akise looked over at him with vague amusement.

"Leaving a trail?" suggested Roy.

"Even if you figure it out, it's too late," Nora smiled thinly.

" _You idiotic fools,_ " hissed A-ya, shifting into a preparatory position, ready to pounce.

"Huh?" asked Yukiteru blankly, and everyone turned to look as a delighted war cry resounded through the night.

"That's not Yato," said Izaya blankly, and Seidou was upon them—a wraith in a black cloak, white hair flying around his head as he bound into the clearing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" cried Twelve as he got lifted by his orange t-shirt into the air.

"Celty and Minene, guard the hostage Nora!" barked Roy. "Rika, Yukiteru, Akise, Twelve—stay back!" Yukiteru began to protest, but Akise took him by the hand and led him over to where Rika was, near Celty and Nora.

As Roy was giving orders, A-ya had shot into the side of the attacker, freeing Twelve only after the terrorist earned a finely bruised neck. " _Wow,_ " he commented, going down on one knee and rubbing at his throat.

A-ya went down on the attacker, both of them tumbling over one another until the apparent half-ghoul was gone.

"A-ya, behind you!" cried Yukiteru, as the dark-clad boy heard in his ear, " _ **Boo.**_ " Grinning, A-ya reached behind him and grabbed onto the dark cloak of the ghoul, letting himself get grabbed in turn only to jump backwards and over Seidou's head, flipping him over and slamming his pale and bloody head into the ground. Growling in annoyance, Seidou grabbed his ankle and yanked him from his feet, swinging him into the trees beyond the park stones. As A-ya slammed into a thick trunk, Roy stepped forward with his hand raised in preparation.

The wraith tittered, staggering to an upright position. " **Look at that…** " He wiped at the blood on his face and licked it off of his hand. " **Look at all of you, so many.** " He grinned, and Roy snapped, setting off fiery explosion of reds and oranges. Their assailant was shrieking with laughter as he dodged to the side, zigzagging back and forth until at last he jumped into the air and burst through the flames without warning. He landed on his hands and feet, his eyes wild. " **Playing tag?~** " His mismatched orbs fixed on Izaya. " _ **Ooo, I remember YOU~**_ " And he shot forward only to get intercepted by Suzuya's scythe, impaling him through the gut just like Yato had with Nora. " **Eh—?** "

"It's a ghoul! It's a ghoul!" cried Suzuya in delight, ripping it from his abdomen elatedly. "I can kill him, right?! I can! I can!" And he laughed like a kid running on ahead on some form of imaginative adventure. "Don't die quick, please~"

"This one knows you too, Izaya?" frowned Roy. "What's _this_ about?"

"I—don't know, actually," Izaya shrugged. "Hm~" He tried to get a better look at the ghoul's face, but he was already staggering away from Suzuya and ducking and jumping to avoid the quinque while Suzuya laughed all the while.

" **Aa, aaaa, it's that one! No, it's… You—shit…!** " In allowing his arm to be pierced, he grabbed onto the base of the scythe's blade (engraved with the roman numeral XIII) while Izaya gave a 'huh' and threw himself into the throng, dicing at the dark-cloaked one only to have the Prophet blocked by his bare foot.

At the same time, Seidou ripped the scythe from Suzuya's grip and threw it to the side—Izaya quickly ducked with wide eyes to keep from being beheaded. "Suzu-chan, I swear you're _trying_ to kill me!" Izaya cried out with a laugh as the albino investigator back-flipped away to dodge Seidou's following swipes.

"He's fun! Ah…" Suzuya blinked, crouching on one of the rocks with a confused expression. "…But…"

Izaya was facing him, now, with A-ya rising above the flames and coming down with a demented grin on his features. He slammed his hand into Seidou's back and sent a shock through him, making him choke and falter just long enough for Izaya to get a slice in. It was the dark-clad hero collaborating with the information broker, A-ya coming from above while Izaya fought from the ground. In a burst of crimson, Seidou's kagune revealed itself, shooting projectiles in a flourish—its debut earned a few stab wounds in both Izaya and A-ya. Now Seidou could go further into the air with the dark-clad hero, leaving Izaya stranded but prepared on the ground.

With a powerful blow, A-ya sent the half-ghoul into the ground—Izaya dodged his body just in the nick of time. He frowned up at the dark-clad hero. "A-ya-kun, careful where you send him!"

"Oops," he shrugged, landing gracefully on the ground with a cruel smile. "You should pay more attention."

"Hah." The informant wheeled around to block an angry swipe from Seidou, but he was just too slow. The half-ghoul slammed the back of his fist into Izaya's arm, forcing him to swing his sword outwards, leaving him open for attack. With wide eyes and grimacing mouth, Seidou pounced on him, hands gripping at his shoulders with his expression twisted in inhuman animism. Izaya gasped as his back made harsh contact with the ground. Recognition sparked in his red-brown eyes, and he blinked. "… _Really!_ " he exclaimed in disbelief, and he began to laugh. He stopped laughing when Seidou bared his teeth, ready to take a hunk out of his throat. "Hey, hey, wait—"

"Heyyyy~" said Suzuya, jumping onto Seidou's back and wrapping his legs around his neck, fingers gripping at his white hair. The half-ghoul jerked backwards, standing back up and grabbing blindly at the investigator.

" **Get OFF ME—** "

"Say, say, who _are_ you? Someone I know?" Gripping tighter at his hair, Suzuya leaned over his head and peered at him with wide grey eyes, looming upside-down, centimeters from Seidou's face. " _Woow_ …" He tilted his head as Seidou struggled to get him away. Unconcerned, the childish investigator put his hands on the pale cheeks of his opponent. "Takizawa? That you?" He felt the ghoul go rigid, and Suzuya's eyes narrowed slightly. "…Oh." He stuck his fingers inside Seidou's blackened, bloody mouth, hooking them in the pockets of his cheeks and tugging at the corners, stretching his mouth horizontally… much to Seidou's annoyance. "Duzzat mean you're not scared of needles anymore? How'd _this_ happen? Seriously…"

"Suzuya! Get out of there!" shouted Roy, and Seidou grabbed onto Suzuya's wrists, wrapping his arms around his lower legs as he did so. He then proceeded to shove himself backwards into the ground, consequently crushing Suzuya there.

Suzuya only laughed. "Takizawa! You really think you can hurt me? I don't feel a thing!~" he cried in delight.

" **Go—away—stop it—stOp it, sTOP it, STOP.** "

"Sorry, Takizawa," grinned the other, embracing him around the neck, "but I admit…" His smile dropped, his tone suddenly dead. " _I'm disappointed._ To think, you throw away your humanity just like that? I didn't expect it… For you to become something like a 'ghoul.' You really act the part. So now it's my job to fight you. That's all."

Seidou yanked him from his shoulders, flipping him over his head and spinning him around and around until the centripetal forces at last were strong enough to throw him. He went flying with a mild, "Whoa!" Twelve jumped to catch him before Suzuya got too terribly hurt, and they collided. The force of Suzuya's body drove Twelve back into the rock behind them, and Twelve cried out as his back made contact with the uneven stone. Suzuya was giggling until he looked up at Twelve. "Ah? …Why'd you do that?"

Twelve only smiled through his grimace.

" **You don't get it! You don' it! You don't! Get it! Get it?** " Seidou was stumbling around with his hands to his face. " **I couldn' it. I** _ **couldn't! I can't!**_ " It was unbearable; no, it was Suzuya, that wasn't good at all, he shouldn't care, he couldn't care— _damn it!_

He shoved away the dark-clad hero as he came to attack; he rejected the skillful charge of Izaya. He vaguely heard the voice of the informant through the haze that was clouding his consciousness. "Takizawa, right? Seidou Takizawa! To think, this is where you've ended up, hah? With that much power, do you still feel inferior? I'm sorry, but looking at you is just too _sad._ Where's that fire you had? Do you have anything left to believe in?"

He was hunched over, hands to his face. " **S hu t—…up.** "

"You can't win to this group, Seidou-san. You're on a suicide trip, here. Hell!" The informant laughed heartily as they sparred – in the ghoul's current state, Izaya the human could keep up with him just fine. "You can't win against even _me!_ Alone! Do you know _why?_ " His mouth twisted, his eyes widening. "If someone has something to fight for, they're stronger, right? I do! I _do_ have something to fight for!" His blade collided with him again, but this time it drew blood. Izaya pointed the Prophet at Seidou, a strange spark in his eyes. "That's right… Hah." And he charged again.

Celty was upright, lost as to Izaya's point, her helmet tilted in perplexity. _And what is that, then, Izaya?_

"Who are you fighting for, Seidou-san? _Anybody? Anyone at all?!_ "

" **SHUT UP!** " he screamed in answer.

"I know it's not something that Yato can claim, _can he_ , Nora?!" he continued, then burst into sudden laughter while Nora frowned slightly in the background. "Heaven knows he's turned his back on Yukine!" he sneered, jabbing again with the Prophet.

" **I—can't…!** " Seidou broke down into hysteria, laughing brokenly. " **I—see… Suzuya… Hehe…** " In an abrupt outburst of impulsive rage, Seidou slammed into Izaya, trying to knock him into A-ya, who stepped to the side nonchalantly—Izaya nearly ended up in the flames, but Roy released the fire dividing the clearing. Suddenly all was dark. Seidou charged Roy, who brought one arm in front of him, on defense. He was about to snap, setting Seidou alight, but the half-ghoul angrily tore that arm clean off before jumping over him. Roy turned on his heel in alarm; Celty and Minene were prepared for anything, but Seidou only dodged to the side and sped off into the woods.

"Hit and run?" Minene asked blankly.

[Do you want someone after him?] asked Celty, but Roy only shook his head, grimacing as he clutched at his mess of a shoulder, trying to staunch the bleeding.

"Alright," Roy said tightly. "We'll leave him be for now. Agreed?"

"Sure," Izaya concurred airily.

"Is Roy alright?" asked Rika worriedly.

"I'll be fine," he smiled at her. "I just need to stop the bleeding… And you." He turned his gaze to Nora. "What was that, just now?"

Nora only smiled at him, silent.

"Takizawa probably thought that the god was yummy," remarked Suzuya, picking at the threads sewn into his lower lip absently. Twelve limped along after him as they approached Roy, looking tired but pleasant.

"So Nora had a scent trail leading right to us instead of Yato," said Izaya plainly, shrugging as he slid the Prophet back into his toy sheath. "Which means that Yato's getting into a bit of a mess with Seidou-kun at his tail." He snickered. "Which means Yato's not doing so well, is he?" The informant smiled knowingly at Nora, who continued gazing at him with mild distaste. "Unless he just wants to be an asshole, which is fair enough." The smile spread to that Izaya grin of his. "I mean, I'd probably be kind of an asshole, too, if I were him."

"You're already an asshole, though," commented Suzuya blankly, at which Twelve busted up laughing.

"Oh, Suzuya, be nice," said the friendly terrorist, stifling a grin to no avail.

Closing her eyes, Nora answered calmly, "No matter what you say about Yato, it's fine. I don't like the lot of you anyways… because you'd kill him, if you could. If you think that I'm his weakness, you're wrong." That eerie smile touched her lips again. "No, because you can't catch me."

"Bull _shit_ ," spat Minene. "You fucking traitor, not that I expected anything less, but if I didn't have nine other people around, I'd take your pretty little neck and—"

"Minene," Rika requested quietly, tugging on the bottom of her tank top. The less-friendly terrorist clicked her tongue, crossing her arms over her chest.

"A traitor here, a traitor there," said Izaya nonchalantly. "Honestly, so much treachery around here." He sighed, tone dripping with mock sorrow. "Who knows? Maybe a traitor amongst our own groups, even now… Hah?" He smiled thinly.

"What's sad is you don't know that that's exactly the case," she answered.

There was an uneasy pause before Celty held down her phone to Nora again. [I'm sorry, but for now we'll have to keep you here.]

"You can try," she smiled, and began to glow, transforming into a blade.

"Mm?" Izaya blinked, then went dark. " _Everyone out of the way!_ " he snapped, and everyone turned to him perplexedly until Roy barked a, " _Dodge!_ " as the sword of Nora sped through the groups and into the woods, off to where Yato was, no doubt.

"Hah!" Having waited for this moment, A-ya bound into the air, peering with a snake's eyes to see where the sharp light sped off to. **Got it,** he thought, and bolted into the woods upon his landing. A-ya was sleeping, he had been upon his retirement earlier that night. The Clearing Eyes Snake knew Yato was weak—now was the time to strike him. With the thought of Yato's life in his hands, the snake felt A-ya's mouth twisting in anticipation.

"A-ya! Wait!" commanded Roy, but he was already off. He frowned deeply. " _That little…_ " he began to growl, and Izaya tilted his head at him, reminded of a certain blond protozoan.

"Hah~…" But the informant was expressionless.

"That was _terrible!_ "

"It's okay, Roy," Rika assured softly.

"I don't think that Takizawa's coming back, at least," added Suzuya thoughtfully. "I don't think that he wants to see~ me~"

"But—A-ya," said Yukiteru, panic rising. _He'll be fine. He has Aureus's item. Yato is injured. He'll be fine._

"Don't worry," grunted Roy. "I'll get him." And he began stalking off into the woods.

[But wait!] Celty tried, but he waved her off.

"I'll be fine."

[Your arm, though!] Pause. [You shouldn't go alone!]

The last message he didn't even look at, heading right into the woods without fear. "I don't want anyone else putting themselves in danger!" he called. "Take care of the rest!"

Slowly, she lowered her phone, then brought her phantom hand to where her forehead would have been, shaking her helmet. She seemed to sigh.

"Yukiteru-kun?" asked Akise.

Yukki was staring off into the darkness of the wooded area, his chest tight. All he could think of was sleeping on the forest floor that night two days ago, of the feeling he'd had when he watched A-ya's scissors come down on his own throat. The way despair had swallowed him whole in that red night— _everyone is dead._ He bit his lip. _A-ya, please be careful._

"…Yukiteru-kun?" Akise tried again, putting a gentle hand to his shoulder.

Yukki jumped. "Huh? What? Akise-kun?"

The boy detective touched his chin. "Is it alright if I ask something?" he asked, his rose eyes focused on Yukiteru, even though the other's blue eyes were rather distracted, looking from Akise to the woods to the raving Minene ("What a fucked up ambush that was; that dumbass military man—fuck!") to the informant giving screwed up assurances to Celty that weren't really working to cheer her up…

"Um…," Yukki answered. "Sure?"

"A-ya-kun… Is he really one to sound so disgusted?" At the confused look Yukki responded with, Akise added, "It's not that it makes any less of a good person, but I didn't much expect him to… say, call us all idiots."

"Oh, I don't know…" He rubbed at the back of his head. "He was probably just tense…"

"Maybe," Akise said thoughtfully. "But Yukiteru-kun… I'd like us to keep an eye on him…"

"But why? A-ya…" He frowned. "I trust A-ya." Yukiteru's tone was firm.

Curious, Akise eyed him, then smiled. "Ah… Well then, I'll take your word on that… because I believe in you, Yukiteru-kun. Even if A-ya-kun were to make a mistake, I'd be willing to trust you in saving him."

"…Ah…" He shifted uncomfortably.

"That's a compliment, Yukiteru-kun," he chuckled, and Yukki gave a half-hearted smile in answer.

"I just hope he's okay…"

"If you trust in him to be good… for now, we can believe in him. I'm sure he's more than capable," he said reassuringly, and Yukiteru lightened up a bit.

"…You're right."

"Fine, fine, fine, Celty-san!" It was the voice of Izaya. "I'll go after Roy and make sure he's alright, okay? Can you at least trust me to do that much?"

Akise and Yukiteru looked over to the scene. Celty didn't look so approving. "Looks like Izaya-san will be making his move to 'save' Roy-san," said Akise. "I think he's wondering too…"

"Wondering what?" Yukiteru tugged at the rim of his hat, brow furrowed.

"Ah, nothing…" Akise just stuck his hands in his pockets, gazing at the trees with eyes that seemed all-knowing as always. Yukiteru thought that it was the same kind of confident expression that Izaya liked to wear, too.


	9. Meeting With God

Among the trees, A-ya had already slowed to a stop. "Ah, that god knew to hightail it out of there…" A snicker escaped him, low and dark. "…I shouldn't go too far, now. Those idiots will wonder where I went, and Loner won't be too pleased with me if I run away, right?" Stretching, the possessed boy stepped onto a walking path consisting of packed-in dirt and stale blood. The branches above were thin here, but not nonexistent. "Freedom is sweet…," he murmured, savoring the moment and breathing the air, laced with the wafting scent of the dead. Drawing upon A-ya's memory, the serpent put together that the boy Keiichi Maebara died near here.

Taking a deep breath, he spread his arms. **After leaving that other body, in shambles, this one feels** _ **fantastic.**_ The corners of A-ya's mouth curled. **And admittedly… this body isn't bad, no, not at all…**

"A-ya!"

The possessed one paused, frowning a bit and turning to the spot off the trail that he'd heard the voice. Within, he felt A-ya beginning to stir from slumber. **Two inconveniences at once,** he thought bitterly, and watched as Roy approached from the dark, clutching at his shoulder with one eye closed. Upon approaching the dark-clad boy, the grimace left his face.

"What were you thinking?" he growled, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "Rather… That was a stupid idea. Capable or not, you shouldn't leave your men behind; not like that." Staring intensely into the serpent's luminescent red eyes, Roy straightened. "Now. You have some questions that need answering."

"Fire away," he smirked, quirking an eyebrow.

Roy pursed his lips, then shook his head. "…What is with your attitude? Changing so suddenly like that…" He closed his eyes tight, refraining from pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ugh… really, this injury couldn't be more inconvenient… I swear, if this comes back with me… when I see that pipsqueak again…" He chuckled with a bit of sardonicism, and the serpentine boy watched him with an uncaring expression. "Well. A-ya, I see something going on with you." His eyes narrowed. "But it doesn't match up… Don't worry. I'll cut to the chase with the asking."

"Oh?" A-ya answered, a flat-toned question.

"What are you hiding?" The colonel's dark eyes were piercing. "It's alright to tell me… you can confide. If it's something bothering you… then that's something I'd like to help with. If it's something larger… understand that I know that something is very wrong here…"

A-ya's eyes narrowed slightly, remaining without expression.

Behind a tree just off the path crept the informant Izaya, footfalls soft on the moss he tread upon. _Boy oh boy do they run fast,_ he thought, fighting to keep his breathing quiet. _Luckily I'm quite adept at running, thanks to those games of tag I like to play with Shizu-chan…_ A pause. _…I can't get too close, but I can hear them fine from here._ A smile touched his previously bothered face. _But Roy-san seems to have beaten me to the punch, ah? This sure will be interesting…!_

"There's no need for us to fall victim to suspicion," Roy said firmly. "I don't wish to threaten you, and hope that there's no reason for you to suspect me of anything other than good intent. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but… I don't know what it is, but as I've mentioned, something is very wrong. …If what I fear is close to true, you could try to kill me here, but what would you tell the others in that case?"

There was a long pause, and Izaya strained to listen, waiting in anticipation for some kind of response. _A-ya-kun… what will you do? I've noticed it too, you know… Something just isn't normal about you – and I don't mean because of that dark cape you've got trailing behind you._ Cat ears, _huh? Hehe…_ His mouth twitched, and then he heard something – crying? No, laughing?

A-ya had begun breathily laughing, leaning forward in his mirth until he burst with it, breaking into harsh laughter. "Fall victim to suspicion? How deliciously ironic! The scent of blood on this trail is _soaked_ with suspicion and paranoia!" He took a step forward, trying to contain his bloodlust but oozing with it all the same. **Loner, Loner… Wake up, you can't miss** _ **this**_ **fun!** A cruel chuckle rumbled in his throat. **You've become your dark hero. You've become your genius… you've yet to become king, right? Right?**

"A-ya," Roy said calmly, "I'd like to rationalize this as best as possible… We need to get back to the others."

" _I_ need to get back to others!" he corrected in hysterical ecstasy. "You, _you_ might just not make it back!"

Izaya felt something tugging at his jacket, and he jumped, jerking his head to look down and find that Rika was there, gazing at him with eyes not of a child's. _Ah, it's you._ Smiling his sly smile, he put a finger to his lips in indication of their necessary silence. She nodded. Though the lack of her childish persona was ever so slightly unnerving, Izaya only found it to be rather interesting. _Ah, but even a child can tell that this isn't a good situation. Probably bad that a kid's nearby… What's she doing here, exactly? Worried about Roy-san, most likely~… Ah, troublesome…_

And said not-good situation began to evolve, for better or for worse. Eyes becoming slits as he readied himself, Roy prepared his bloodied hand for ignition of his flame alchemy. "Then what is it, A-ya? What are your motives? Will you at least explain yourself?"

" _I'm_ not Loner," he scoffed.

"Then who are you?" His tone was ironically cold.

"That doesn't matter," A-ya grinned, "because I know the trick to your fire… and your gloves can't work if the only one you've got is soaked in your own blood!" His brow creased in mock apology. "Too bad, really."

"What, you think I'm a fool?" Roy smirked, and reached into the pocket of his pants, swiftly pulling out one of Twelve's grenades. He'd gotten it from him earlier, asking for one 'just in case' as they switched shifts for the night. "This is no game, kid… Back down now."

"…No," the possessed one answered, looking amused.

"Then I'm sorry," he said, bringing the pin to his teeth and biting down to pull it as the dark-clad one charged—

Izaya felt the young girl tense up, and he realized she was still clutching at the fabric of his clothing. He looked down at her blankly, unsure of how to take it. His mouth twitched. The scene was getting interesting behind him.

Roy lifted his left leg and kicked at A-ya as the Colonel pulled the pin, but the serpentine one caught his foot and twisted, breaking his leg with ease.

" _Roy!_ " cried Rika, releasing Izaya. She ran for the trail, leaving the informant frozen. He didn't notice he was holding his breath.

 _So much for being quiet,_ he remarked to himself. He could still hear his heart beating in his ears, not that it was only Rika that had startled him… No, this entire scene was filling him with adrenaline…! Any fatigue earned from the battle just had with Seidou dissipated. _What a scene this is coming out to be…! I didn't even have to do anything!_

"Rika, get out of here!" Roy commanded desperately, getting thrown to the ground in his distraction.

 _That didn't sound good._

"…Ah?" The possessed one turned his head to look at her in delight.

"That's not A-ya." Rika's tone was lowered again, but this time her presence itself began to shift, as though she was now no longer a polite ten-year-old child but a force to be reckoned with. " _It's a demon that needs to be cast out._ "

 _A demon… hah? Is this one we knew about, by chance?_ Izaya, his amused expression wiped clean, closed his eyes and began piecing things together. _Could it be…? Hm…_ He felt a tremor threatening to sweep over him – he, too, could feel the shift in atmosphere. It was not just Rika herself… that felt like a surreal gust of hot summer wind that warmed the blood. There was another entity, too, that felt as ice would to the soul. Izaya conjectured that it was 'A-ya' emanating that feeling. It was one that Izaya had experienced before, admittedly…

"A demon," Roy repeated, then grimaced as A-ya's position shifted so his knee was digging into the Colonel's broken leg. He hissed in pain.

Rika stood strong, her tone low, eyes dark. "You are the traitor that Nora spoke of, aren't you? Release Roy."

"Rika, back up," Roy said, holding tight to the spoon on the grenade. _If I release this button, then I just have to keep A-ya close for four seconds, according to Twelve… I'll blow us both to smithereens, if I have to. But Rika…_

"I know you still have that bomb on you," the possessed one answered. "Don't you worry about that. But you shouldn't kill me, because Loner… the one that _is_ your teammate, is still alive. If you kill _me_ , you kill _him._ "

"Someone who has been possessed… I may not have ever been around such a situation," Roy answered coolly, "…but if one bargains their soul, their fate is sealed. If you can possess him as you are, A-ya is already dead. I didn't want to think as much… but if I let you return, you'll only be a danger to everyone there. I'm sure," he smirked, "that A-ya would want it so he doesn't harm anyone."

A-ya's body trembled in unbearable mirth.

"Roy, there's no need to sacrifice yourself," said Rika, her tone holding a trace of fatigued desperation.

"I'm a soldier," he said, then glanced over at her with reassuring eyes. "We put our lives on the line every day for the sake of others. It's alright, Rika—I don't mind."

Rika's brow creased. She felt the god tied to her by spirit – Hanyuu – wringing her wrists, levitating behind her like a shadow. _Roy, you don't understand… People have died for me more times than I can even count anymore… It's_ me _who minds. I'm sick of people dying… let alone for my sake._

"Run," said Roy. "Make it." He depleted the oxygen surrounding him and A-ya to the point of dizziness – he felt his head spinning, but also felt A-ya's grip on his shoulders loosen.

" _Wh…_?"

"How do you think I take aim with my flame alchemy?" Roy smiled. "I can manipulate the air around us at will… Hah."

Izaya remained behind his tree, waiting with bated breath. _Do I intervene at this point? It's already a mess – I won't be able to make it any better… and there's no point in making it worse…_

Roy released the spoon.

Izaya thought, _What a show._

The serpent ignored the darkness spotting his vision and smiled as Roy shoved the bomb at his dark-clad chest, hooking his good leg behind A-ya's knees. The demon felt A-ya's consciousness spreading in confused awareness. _Four seconds, huh?_ he thought within the first.

At the second, he jerked backwards, taking the grenade with one hand and shoving his other into Roy's chest as he threw the bomb into the air as high as he could with the lack of air. **If one thing's inconvenient, it's the human requirements of this body—** He couldn't tell how high he'd thrown it, but he gave Roy a jolt that same moment. Out of his peripheral vision, he caught Rika's movement to his left. Roy gasped at the shock.

Third second, he somersaulted over the Colonel's head so that he was crouching just behind him with his cold hand on his throat. Rika was running for A-ya now.

Fourth second, the bomb exploded in the air as Rika did a running jump with every intent of stopping the demon from hurting Roy further—she came down on him as the shockwave hit them, but the possessed one merely batted her away as though she were a fly. She gasped as she hit a tree bordering the trail.

"At least," said Roy with a satisfied smile, "I won't have gone down without a fight."

At these words, A-ya's body was ignited, alight with the power of the explosion in the sky. The fourteen-year-old human within the dark-clad hero awoke to fiery agony, and a scream ripped from his throat, leaving him defenseless as the snake seized back his control, seeping with darkness and turning the heat into ice.

" _You bastard,_ " the dark-clad demon hissed, raising his hand and striking Roy with lightning that came down the color red but emanated an eerie yellow. In outrage, he gripped Roy's electrified body, sending impulses through him and upping the voltage as the Colonel's smile collapsed into the uncontrollable shuddering of electrocution. The demon threw him down to the dirt – A-ya was frozen within him with the rush of adrenaline rushing through his soul—he was buzzing, electric!

 _I'm going to kill Roy,_ he realized fearfully, but the ecstasy of the demon paralyzed him as his mouth twisted grotesquely into a distorted grin. A-ya felt his own arms ripping Roy's already-broken leg from his body as though he were tearing into meat nonchalantly for a meal. A-ya could vaguely feel Rika's horrified gaze directly on him. He wanted to tell her to please stop it, but his mouth would not obey him. His body was not his own. His hands had not been this shade of red since… since…

Roy felt the same, the electricity leaving him numb, his vision flashing and blinding – he couldn't see anything. _My eyes… my, eyes…!_ He thought that his other leg had parted company from his core, but his nerves were so frazzled from the lightning that he couldn't tell for sure. _If my leg really is gone… I swear to god, this is just funny, in a really twisted way…_

With finality, the dark-clad demon kicked Roy in the side, turning him over onto his back and bringing his hand to the Colonel's chest. " _Die,_ " he said gleefully, and sent an impulse that shocked his heart to the point of halting. He died with a vague smile still touching his lips. His dark, piercing eyes were no more; now milky, wide open and blank.

From gazing at the torn-up body of Roy Mustang, the demon's gaze shifted to Rika, who sat with her back to the tree she'd been thrown into, her eyes dulling from horror to sorrow. "Why, again…?" she murmured, and the serpent straightened, smiling with cold sweetness down at her.

" _You are accustomed to tragedy,_ " he said, his chest filling with icy excitement. A-ya consciousness curled further within. He didn't want to look. The serpentine eyes glimmered as Rika gazed back darkly. " _I can sense it, you know… You may not be of my own realm, but you, too, have seen the same tragedy repeat itself again and again._ " His eyes narrowed happily. " _You, like my true Master… the new Medusa… have that power living inside you… The power of 'meeting eyes,' in its own sense. The power to reset._ "

"Whereas you… A-ya… are now the vessel to a demon," Rika answered, her voice almost not her own, "…I was born as the 'vessel' to a god." The lavender-haired goddess revealed herself, then, hovering beside Rika with worried but angry violet eyes that glowed in the night just the same as the serpent's did, though it was her pupils that shone red in the dark. Horns grew down from her head, covering her ears. Her traditional-style clothing was not unlike that of Nora's. The young goddess was glaring at the serpent. Rika closed her eyes. "…So, you're not wrong."

The demon laughed in joyous sadism. " _I'm sure that such a power is stunted in a place like this, but it doesn't deny the fact that you are the Queen of Tragedy… within your own reality. Just as my queen…_ " His grin spread further, his eyes widening. " _I'll call you a princess, in that sense. The Princess of Tragedy—I like that, yes… You, who can't stand the thought of living without your friends…_ " He laughed derisively. " _You, who have been tied down by the petty thing humans call 'love'! When really… you're destined to be a monster, aren't you?_ "

"A monster…," she repeated distantly.

"Don't talk to Rika like that," the goddess said, tone threatening, and Rika lifted the knife she'd been given as her weapon at the beginning of her game. She gazed at it in contemplation while the goddess stiffened. "R-Rika…," began the deity nervously, and the serpent snickered.

" _What a pathetic god,_ " he remarked with harsh amusement. " _What do you expect to do with that knife, Princess? You can't hurt me. Go on and try…_ "

"No," Rika answered, getting to her feet and stepping back a step so that the tree was at her side. "People like you… are the reason there is no happy ending. You've set up what can only be a bad end… I don't want to watch you tear everyone else apart." She pressed the hilt to the trunk so that the blade was at her temple. "I want no part of it. I see no reason to give you the opportunity to torture me in that way."

"Rika-chan—do you—d-do you r-really need to go on and do something—something like that…?" stammered the goddess. "I-I don't want you to…! Au, au—uauauuu!" she wailed in panic.

The Clearing Eyes Snake was admittedly surprised, his eyes wide. " _Ah, really…_ _You'd give your own life…?_ "

"If anyone else knows that you're not A-ya…" Rika closed her eyes. "I hope they tell the others."

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" cried Izaya, coming out from behind his tree and walking up to the path nonchalantly. He released a heavy sigh while the goddess jumped, hiding her face behind her hands while Rika looked at the informant as though he were crazy. The dark-clad demon looked at Izaya without much surprise, quirking an eyebrow. "Now, A-ya-kun," he said, leaning casually against the other side of the tree that Rika had the knife pressed to. "…I have to say!" He raised a hand in a half-shrug, closing his eyes. "I may not be cruel enough to take someone's life with my own hands… but I'm also not kind enough to stop someone from dying if they want to." He glanced over at Rika, who just kinda stared at him blankly. Hanyuu the goddess peeked out from behind her fingers to see him, and he shot her a closed-eye grin that made her squeak frightfully before he turned to the possessed one, smile wiped clean again. "You know that already… don't you, Kuroha-san?"

The serpent smirked, releasing a little _heh._ " _Well, Liar? What will you do about me being here, hah?_ "

"Well, I'm actually rather thrilled!" he exclaimed. "To think, a demon was working with us! Doesn't that also mean that I fought alongside you? I have to admit, I'm a little bit honored~ Not only is Celty the Dullahan in my midst, but also 'Kuroha' the demon?" The other's red eyes flickered, just barely discernable. "You know—it's kind of funny," he added, grinning at the bemused serpent. "Though you're undercover now… before you possessed A-ya-kun, you managed to make a new 'demon,' a new monster—you know? That god… the one who killed Sebastian? He's the new 'power player' everyone's worried about now. All because you got little Yukine-kun killed… Ah, but that's not what we're talking about, is it? You just don't want to die; you don't want to cease to exist… I don't hate that." He shrugged again. "I mean, you _could_ kill me here, but _why_? You think I'm going to blow your cover? No way! I want this information under my belt—I'd _love_ to have someone as powerful as you on my side! I could, what, let slip to the others that you're possessed? Why would I do _that?_ To watch all Hell break loose?" He released a bark of laughter. "As fun as that would be, I'd prefer to keep this secret to myself~"

" _You're a fool as well as a liar,_ " Kuroha scoffed, and Izaya smiled thinly.

"Don't underestimate me… I mean, I have to thank you—because of you, I have _this_ nifty little sword that Yoh-kun left behind. My greatest concern right _now_ is Yato. Who says I _can't_ make a team with you?" He spread his arms. "So long as we share common interests, there's no worrying about that. And as long as Yato has Nora, he can kill you just like he killed Sebastian…" He closed his eyes with a smug little smile. "I mean, granted, I wouldn't want to be considered a _puppet_ to you. That's just something I don't want to deal with. You'd have to make some sacrifices… but I'd say it's worth it for the sake of your ultimate goal of existence… for our common interests of Nora's extermination, of finding the game masters, and so on and so forth…" He beamed childishly. "And I expect to be able to have a nice little chat with A-ya-kun every so often, too~ In fact, I'm sure he can hear me…"

Izaya paused, then shifted expression to one of seriousness. "…Also, I'd suggest not going on and killing too many people like this. If you're so excited to find your 'princess,' she's going to end up leaving pretty quick if you go on killing everyone – as you just saw… Besides, if you have to coexist with A-ya-kun, I'm sure he doesn't want someone like Yukiteru-kun finding out, and all this… Well, you're making it _just a little_ too obvious, eh? You know and I know that people are noticing something's wrong. Even if I hadn't come out here, I was close to figuring it all out anyway… and I'm sure others are getting there too." His eyes narrowed. "You're playing a dangerous game, here, Kuroha-san… You don't want to end up dying again, do you?"

The possessed one's head lowered in irritation.

"I didn't think so. So I'd suggest that we all just leave this be, what do you say, hm? You don't need Rika-chan dead, since the idea of her tragedy is just too enticing for you to turn down, right? And as for myself… well, I'm just rather excited about this turn of events! It's not like I'm _against_ you." He grinned a closed-eye Izaya grin. "In fact, I'm sure A-ya-kun feels the same way, dealing with a demon."

A-ya's mouth twitched, and the dark-clad demon began to laugh cruelly before he lowered his head, expression shrouded. He began to tremble visibly before his legs gave out beneath him, a shudder coursing through him as he pressed his palms to the blood-stained dirt he knelt upon in a dark-clad heap of shock and horror. "It… yeah, you're… not wrong…," A-ya said shakily.

Rika stared blankly, her firm grip on the orange handle of the knife coming undone. Her fingers loosened, and she felt different kind of tremor through her. _Relief? Ah…_

"Rika, he…," said Hanyuu, and she blinked as Rika dropped the knife. "Ah—is it that…?"

"Ah, A-ya-kun, you're back," Izaya beamed.

"I… I'm so…" A-ya's eyes were shadowed but wide as dinner plates. "S…sorry… I… I, ki… I… ki…"

"You didn't kill him, A-ya-kun. It wasn't you," Izaya said calmly. He looked over at Rika. "Rika-chan, I wouldn't give up yet. To give in… well! There's no use in doing that, is there? Rika-chan… understand that everyone has to lose people. There's a tragedy hidden in everyone's story, somewhere or another. If you don't like something that's happened, well, you have to work with it anyway! Don't go on thinking it's useless just because one good piece has left the board… There are others—don't forget, you're not alone or anything like that, no, not at all! And if it's A-ya-kun you're mourning, look here!" He held out his hand to A-ya, such an informal and everyday gesture after such a scene.

A-ya stared at the offering for a few moments before taking it, though quivering. Izaya helped him to his feet.

"See, Rika-chan?" he smiled thinly, and she stumbled weakly forward, only to end up sitting there on the ground, staring up at the informant without expression.

"You don't know… exactly how many times I've lost the same people," she said, tone dead. "You don't understand… how long I went before I gave up the first time. No, but you couldn't understand that sort of thing…"

"Don't poke at Rika," warned the goddess. "Child of Man, I expect that you won't take lightly the situation in which you've placed yourself…"

"It's alright, Hanyuu," Rika said, an ironic smile touching her lips. A dark laugh escaped her, and Izaya blinked, curious. "I'm actually rather glad…" She got back to her feet, her expression one of sly amusement. Her childish exterior had been removed; the true Rika emerged from the wraps of deceit. Aged beyond her years – the result of endless time loops; a repeating tragedy much like the one Kuroha created… much like the one A-ya had experienced, though now forgotten. "At this point, if something changes… for good or for bad, I want to see it, as long as it isn't the same thing again. Even if this all turns out to be just another tragedy… as long as it isn't boring…"

Izaya laughed. "So that's how it is, Rika-chan! I'm glad we've come to an understanding!"

"Riiika…," protested Hanyuu, brow furrowed.

"But, for now, we should make our way back to the others," Izaya smiled, putting one hand on A-ya's shoulder, the other on Rika's. "Roy-san was killed by Yato, okay? I'm sure that's the story that all of us want to go with, here, hm?"

"…Yes…," agreed A-ya, following Izaya's lead as the three of them began slowly walking back into the forest. He fought the urge to look back at Roy. Behind them, the goddess named Hanyuu followed along. A-ya's ears were ringing.

"So, what's this Hanyuu thing about, Rika-chan?" asked Izaya brightly. "I've never seen her before… What secrets have you got? I wonder, care to share any related legends, you two? It'd also be pretty useful to know her abilities right now…"

"That, is so…," admitted Rika, beginning to regain her childish exterior.

 _Ah… legends,_ thought A-ya, shoving down the lingering feelings of murder that Kuroha still had running through him. It felt disgusting to him. He thought of the milky white of Roy's eyes, or how it felt to rip off his leg… He needed to stop, or he may vomit.

 _Like that night… when, C-ta…_

He felt the informant squeeze his shoulder as if to say, 'Stop that.' Though he glanced up at Izaya, the Eskimo-esque man was just looking at Rika as she spoke. Gradually, A-ya tuned back into the conversation and heard Rika explaining the legends of a goddess everyone called Oyashiro-sama – that is, Hanyuu. With murder mysteries and rumors of the occult deeply enmeshed in the tale, it was just A-ya's style… He was eventually able to get out of his head.

The odd trio (plus Hanyuu—odd _quartet_ ) took their time getting back, having an enjoyable (if twisted) conversation the whole way. Apparently, they all got along just fine: a timid goddess who only had the courage to observe as her transparent self; a ten-year-old who'd lived over a century that knew all the ins and outs of all of the legends of her village, seeing as she was the heir to the all-important Furude Shrine; a fourteen-year-old obsessed with the occult (the demon possessing him listening in cruel amusement as they all conversed) who enjoyed messing with people; and at last, an informant whose ultimate hobby was playing puppeteer. Izaya had actually defused the situation rather nicely, if just a little bit late.

Who would've guessed?


	10. Past

**Let's try and start up a regular Wednesday update again, shall we? ^^; Sorry for my inconsistency, golly.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Seidou, Owl, took refuge in a factory building, full of only grey. He couldn't enter any of the shops. He couldn't enter any of the residential houses. He couldn't take it. He conjectured somewhere in his scattered thoughts that maybe he just couldn't stand the colors.

Thus, the factory—wide open… void of color… away from the everyday. Something like 'civilian life' was far beyond him nowadays.

' _Nowadays.'_

He almost laughed. Almost. To think, he'd only been here… how long? He didn't know. He couldn't piece together the time frame.

Mindlessly, he chewed on the arm of the military man. He didn't like his outfit. He didn't like his fire. _I bet the system he's pledged allegiance to is fucked up,_ he thought bitterly. But really the fire bothered him most.

He tried to piece together some sort of meaning behind the fight he'd just had, but then he thought of Suzuya and decided he didn't really want to think too much on it. He sat in one of the corners on ground level, nestling himself there. All his focus was directed to the man in the military outfit. He decided he hated the man.

 _He seemed like… a good leader._ He discarded the remains of the officer's arm, no more than bones and torn fabric. _That part… that part is alright._

Closing his eyes, he hunched forward, curling with his knees close to his head and his tightly furled fingers pressed against his eyelids.

" _ **I don't like it.**_ " It was a statement that he choked out quietly. No one heard him. No one was there to.

It was a _feeling_ he was getting – a fiery feeling, something like poison that made his eyeballs burn in their sockets, made him feel as though he needed to rip open his ribcage just to feel like he could breathe.

It was an _unpleasant_ feeling.

 _I'm not supposed to feel things like that anymore,_ he thought. _I'm not supposed to feel anything at all. I'm done with that. I'm done with it. I'm done. It's done. It doesn't hurt anymore. It doesn't. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't, no, doesn't hurt, can't hurt can't feel pain no more not more no more don't hurt no more._

Yes, this wasn't right at all! He'd long since abandoned such things as pain, as loss, as 'regret.' Give back the empty night! Give back the blissful blanket of sweet despair! _Take me back to where I'm comfortable…!_

Someone had been following him: a ghost. He'd first seen the apparition in his fight with Kaneki, that was right… Upon the shriveling of his kakuja armor, upon waking up from blind blackout to some form of coherence, he'd seen him. Standing behind the wall of glass was the twenty-two-year-old image of an investigator with brown hair, his stature one of thick fear as he stared right back at the wraith now known as Seidou Takizawa. Owl. And Seidou knew, he knew that he was staring at himself – it was the _old Seidou_ staring back at him. It was the Seidou Takizawa that he had killed—he shouldn't be following him around! He couldn't!

 _Because I already killed that son of a…_

Loosening his hands over his eyes, he hooked his fingers at his lower eyelids and peered into the dark grey.

 _No one is here. No one else._

The dead man had been with the groups he just hit, too, yeah, hiding in the flames or standing beside Izaya Orihara. Guarding the good-smelling spirit girl with the military man.

Seidou's eyes flickered. There. There he was, sitting with his back against the old and inactive conveyor belt. He was wearing that old blue suit, torn and bloody. The jacket was missing. The brown hair that he'd parted down the middle was short and rather mussed, sticking out here and there as though he hadn't brushed it in some time. His brown eyes were staring back at the Owl, rather piercing despite the fact his image was one of transparency. They were wide orbs, the whites of them showing with the lower lids blackened with fatigue. He was the picture of weariness.

The half-ghoul was caught in his gaze, incapable of movement. His breath had left him. _If it weren't for you… If you were gone, surely I wouldn't feel this way. I bet, I bet if I got rid of you then this would be fine and I would be fine and I could burn down all the memories of you, leave you charred into an ugly black so that I can't go back I won't go back I won't say sorry it wasn't me it's not my fault it isn't it's not…!_

The apparition tilted his head slightly, brow creasing, mouth upturning in something reminiscent of sorrow. _"…Scary,"_ he commented, and the Owl flinched.

 _If you become what you're AFRAID of… FEAR will fade,_ he thought. _I am fear's conductor. I am Fear. I am, I am, I am!_

 _I feel no fear, no more, not at all!_ His mouth twitched. The thought occurred to him that there was no such thing as courage without fear, but he only answered such a musing with, _Who needs courage when you're fearless?_

He remembered how the fear had consumed him; how it ran through his veins and ate him from the inside out. Through that fear he had emerged as the monster he was now, emerged wrapped in darkness. Through that fear he had sold his soul out of desperation. Through that fear he had brought peace to that poor bastard named Seidou Takizawa through his own murder.

"… _Ah,"_ began the apparition, and the Owl twitched. The transparent figure was bowing his head. _"I can't… wake up."_

" **Go away,** " the Owl said flatly. " **You shouldn't be here… You're dead. I killed you.** "

Drily, the apparition laughed a pained chuckle that only served to anger the Owl.

" _ **I'll kill you again if I have to**_ **,** " he growled, and the ghost quieted. " **I will. I will! I'll kill you as many times as I need! DON'T MOCK ME!** "

The half-ghoul flew into a rampage, tearing apart the inside of the empty factory, ripping apart machinery and railings and shelves and the like until at last he could rest in the rubble for the last remaining hours of the night.

* * *

Roppi sat outside one of the smaller buildings in the southern part of the city, looking out into the night with introspective red eyes. Konoha had brought up just about every food place they passed, so at last Roppi had caved and told him to just get something already so that they could get moving without distractions. The eastern sky was beginning to just barely glow, and he thought, _It's almost dawn._

Granted, he knew he should probably rest up at some point. He was beginning to feel the dull ache of exhaustion now that he was sitting still. Sighing, he got to his feet, preparing to pace back and forth until Konoha made it back out. "Don't wanna sleep," he mumbled to himself, rubbing at his arm restlessly. No, he couldn't rest knowing that he was leaving Kaneki and Seidou in the waking world… not as they were. _It's my mess. I'll fix it. I'll fix what I've done._

He sighed heavily, pressing the palm of his good hand to his eyelid. The hand that had been pierced by Izaya was throbbing dully, like some sort of tired alarm trying to constantly remind him that there was something wrong with it. As if he didn't know by now. It was great being able to use both arms, though, and pain was something he was accustomed to anyway. _No point in complaining about it now,_ he thought flatly.

Ah, he said he wanted to fix everything, but what worth were his words until he actually accomplished something? _I hate broken promises,_ he thought bitterly, and felt something knotting up inside, the gnarled roots of his negativity threatening to pierce and leech off of his newfound determination.

 _I'll fix it. I'll bring them back, just like Shintaro brought me back._

"Easier said than done," he breathed, and leaned against the wall of the building, closing his eyes. _If I don't succeed, I have no right to return to the others. I shouldn't have dragged Konoha into this mess… He shouldn't have to deal with it._

… _Speaking of which, how long is that android going to take just to grab some food?_ He brought a hand to his face, this time out of annoyance. He began to retreat further into himself, swept up in his own thoughts. _Ah, hurry up…_

"Waiting for Konoha?" A voice out of nowhere.

Roppi jerked in surprise, eyes flashing as he went into immediate fighting stance. _Who?_

Before him was a teen gal that looked to be just a bit younger than him. Half of her violet-haired head was shaved to mere fuzz, the other half swept to the side to cover her right eye.

"Who the _fuck_ are _you_?" he asked, tone taut. He heard his own heartbeat. His machine gun was at the bench just a few paces to his left. If he could just reach it…! _Where's that stupid android when you need him?!_

"Roppi, calm down," said the unidentified one, wringing her wrists uncomfortably. A baggy grey hoodie adorned her torso, the fabric ripped in a few scattered places. She stepped forward, black boots sounding oddly heavy on the concrete. She sported worn black skinny jeans.

"Like hell I'll calm down," he said, eyes wide and quivering. Something was very wrong with this. The atmosphere had shifted drastically in just a moment. _How did she sneak up on me like that? Is she one of the new female gamers? Is she some other weird species I don't know?_ He felt his skin crawl under her gaze, and he couldn't even tell why. Her eyes peered into his core; he could _feel_ it. It was terrifying. He, like Izaya, was someone who _read other people_ , not the other way around.

"Roppi," she repeated, a note of sadness in her voice.

 _She acts like I'm_ supposed _to listen to her._

She took another step, and he bolted to the side, freeing himself from his frozen state and going straight for the machine gun.

"Konoha! _Get your ass out here!_ " he called, and reached for his weapon only to have her hand swipe at his. The next moment, he found himself with his back to the wall, her hand pressed firmly to his mouth.

"He won't come until we're done," she said lowly. "That's how this works."

His red eyes were filled with a mix of anger, shock, and frustration. _What the fuck is this? No doubt, she's insanely fast…_

"You can't escape me," she smiled, a teasing spark in her all-seeing eyes. "Maybe you can accept me, but you can never get away."

 _One of my arms is still free, maybe if… the blade…?_

"You don't want to stab me with that," she warned, then broke up into a spell of hysterical giggling. "No, no, don't wanna do that."

… _What the fuck…_

"Didn't Aureus tell you?"

 _Aureus?_ His gut was screaming at him to get away or kick her ass. _A game master…?_

"Yeah, that's right. I'm a game master," she agreed.

 _Can she read my mind? Because I swear to god…_

"I can," she confirmed. "Now, if I let go of you, will you stay put and stay quiet? You don't want to cut me with the Harrowing Blade… You don't want to kill me, because _I'm_ one of the game masters against the game. I'm trying to _help_ you. Okay? I know you don't want help, but that means you need it more. Right?"

Angrily, he shoved her hand from his mouth, taking a gasp of air and snapping in growling tones, "How the fuck are you expected to help me?"

"I'm not _expected_ to," she answered easily. "I just want to… And in fact, Muse is probably going to kind of annoyed with me for doing this," she added with a sly grin. "Oh well!~"

 _Muse… that's the one that Aureus said…_

"…Was your target; that's right," she nodded, then held out her hand. "I'm Seraph." An oddly sad, gentle smile crossed her features. "It's nice to… finally meet you."

He squinted suspiciously at her hand, then took it, very cautious. "Um… Roppi," he uttered.

"I know," Seraph chirped, and he twitched. "We have to be a little quick, because I don't want Muse or anyone stopping me right before I do what I'm trying to."

"What… are you trying to do?" he asked tentatively, wishing to back up but realizing the wall was at his back.

"I'll explain," she said shortly. "That Harrowing Blade… you've cut Light and Kaneki with it." Roppi refrained from flinching, his jaw set. "There's a way to reverse its effects." His crimson eyes widened, and she took him by the shoulders. Her hands weighed on him like stones. "I want Kaneki to be okay, too… And the fact that you've come as far as you have… I want to help you out a little bit. The way things are going, the reverse effect is likely to be demonstrated to you in the near future. I think that Kaneki's Harrowed blood will be purified before you can reach him. That's fine. It doesn't have to be your responsibility… Just, find him. Bring him back to your groups. Okay?"

Roppi nodded numbly. _Is that really something… that…?_

"You just need to know that you can be there for him, okay, Roppi?" Seraph tilted her head, smiling sheepishly. "Even though you're used to being the one in the low… it doesn't mean that you can't help others once you've found your footing. Understand? If he is purified… when he is purified… knowing Kaneki, he'll beat himself up about it. What _you do_ will either make him or break him… Don't worry," she said in answer to his horrified look, "…you won't be the only one."

"But I'm an _asshole_ ," he shot back, his tone raised in something close to hysteria. "If he depends on _my_ comfort, what if I fuck up? Huh? I've done _nothing_ but fuck up this _whole time!_ "

"You've come some way, I think," she said quietly, closing her eyes. "It will be the test you wanted… so that you can learn to love yourself; feel like you deserve it. Feel like you're worth saving – which you are… What you do on that path is something that you need to choose, but…" She beamed warmly at him. "I think you can make the right choice."

"I… I don't know that I…"

"Kaneki isn't the only one you're after, of course," Seraph continued, holding up a slim finger. "There's also Seidou. Ah…" She paused, looking down. "Seidou's sweet," she murmured, and Roppi's brow furrowed in a mix of shame, regret, and grief. "The way he is now… yeah, you can save him. I should have every ability to help him, too." She looked at her hands. "He's had a few chances now. But every time, Muse vetoes me. Muse and Durden both… they won't let him get better. He can't get better so long as they don't want him to." She looked at Roppi with narrowed eyes, gaze intense. "That isn't fair. But things need to get worse before they get better, right? You know that, too… So listen. They've got him in a set path towards his own personal hell. But they can't stop an already-set-up rule that they've put in place, and I want you to send it back at them. If it doesn't work, then it's not your fault… At that point it's out of your hands, and… if Seidou chooses wrong, then his sins will come crashing down on him."

"What—kind of game _is_ this?" Roppi questioned her. She laughed happily.

"It's the Emina Games, that's all… Entertainment. A game. That's it. I can't go any further than that." He continued to stare at her with all his skepticism, and she sighed. "That Harrowing Blade that Aureus gave you… it draws out the worst in someone when you draw their blood. When that happens, there is one thing that can break its effects… I'm not allowed to tell you straight out what it is, unfortunately, but if you can figure that out… If Seidou, for example, were to be Harrowed and then purified… the game masters would no longer be able to hold Seidou to the fate they have set for him. They couldn't justify that anymore. At that point, it would be all Seidou's decisions… and that's the way it _should_ be."

"So you're saying that I can reverse the effects of the Harrowing Blade," he said flatly.

"Yes."

"But you can't tell me how."

"…Yes."

"And you want me to _stab Seidou_ with this thing… when he already seems to be _pretty fucking bad_ right now, seeing as he's going around eating dead bodies and attacking people at random!"

Seraph bit her lip, pausing. She then shrugged apologetically with a weak smile. "It… gets worse before it gets better?"

Roppi scoffed.

"I'm hoping you can catch a hint on the cure if Kaneki is purified… Greyson and Rainbow are the ones that veto the Harrowing Blade's effects. They represent something very important…"

"I'm betting you can't tell me what, though," he said dully.

"Um, yeah, you're right."

"Great." He sighed sharply.

"Ah!" She'd seemed to have had a burst of enlightenment. Roppi looked at her again. "Aureus told you about the whole symbolism thing, right?"

"Symbolism?" he repeated. _He kept bringing it up, but…_

"What a boob," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "Aureus represents symbolism. Yeah."

"Aureus… is symbolism," he reiterated skeptically, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, he's kinda weird, but none of us are really _not_ weird," Seraph shrugged. "All of us are _unique!_ " she cried in delight, then spun around on the heel of her boot, throwing her hand into the air gracefully as she laughed like a child.

Roppi decided to ignore the little twirl. "If he's symbolism… then what are you?"

"Hm? I guess I can tell you that," she said, putting a finger to her lips and leaning towards him. "I'm really not all that important… well… actually, I kinda am."

He drew his lips into a thin line.

She closed her eyes, straightening back up and spreading her arms in presentation. "I am depth. Each backstory, however cruel or naïve, is there for a reason. It makes you real. I am character development. Without me, you and everyone else… you would all be flat. Generic. Just a doodle on a page. No connection. No reason." Her eyes opened again, expression apologetic. "Roppi, without me, you wouldn't have a past. I know it's not a pleasant one… but—"

"You're telling me that you're the reason my mother was the way she was," Roppi said, tone strained.

"…But if it weren't for that past… you would be solely bitterness. No breakthrough. No progression. Just bitter – poison to the bone. That, or…" She paused. Then, "Roppi, I came to you now because I think you're close enough to accepting that past," she pressed, brow furrowed in empathy. He quieted, swallowing uncomfortably. "I know it sucks – trust me, I know it does… But if you were bitter for no reason at all, wouldn't that be worse? Because… giving you a past… gives you hope for the future."

 _Hope?_ He thought to himself that such a word was one he hadn't used often in his time being alive. He'd been convinced it didn't exist, though every so often he thought he saw a glimmer of it… with Tsuki at his side…

A sharp pang of loss hit him, and he bit his cheek to maintain monotonous irritation.

That was when Seraph hugged him – he tried to jerk away, but found that her embrace wrapped around and around, into his chest, into his head. He was frozen in place, his spirit held captive in Seraph's desperate attempt to reach out to him.

"I know you don't know me, but I know you," she murmured, and it was as though time had overlapped itself: Seraph was embracing someone no more than a child, yet to know the taste of bitter despair. Yes, in her arms was the child that Roppi was no more, a person left behind, forgotten in the folds of memory. "I know Tsuki is gone. I'm sorry… I didn't want anyone dragged into this. I don't want you here. I don't want A-ya here. I don't _want_ Suzuya here. I don't want _Hide_ here… I'm tired of this game. I—can't do it anymore. Though… I, am glad to have seen you."

"But—why?" he got out. Roppi didn't know whether to panic or relax. He felt vulnerable. Exposed.

"…Why am I glad to see you?"

"Ah—yeah."

"Well, I know you pretty well, Roppi." She pulled away, and he felt at last as though he could breathe again. The moment ended, and Seraph stood before the struggling nineteen-year-old that Roppi was now. He felt as though she just gave a hug not to his body, but his soul. It was a very creepy feeling. His skin was crawling again, even though admittedly he felt rather cold upon her leave. Her hands still gripped his shoulders tightly, heavy like the weight of his regret. "And I like the person you are," she smiled. "I like the person you could be."

"Which one?" he snipped, tense, and she pursed her lips in disapproval.

"The best one. The best of you."

"And what of the worst of me?"

She shrugged. "Everyone has a bad part. And all of us are just gonna think that our own bad part's worse than the next person."

Roppi blinked at her, brow creased. "And what if I told you that I don't want to deal with my past? What if I told you I'm not ready to 'accept' it? What I told you that I'll _never_ 'accept' it, because life sucks and it wasn't fair? What if I told you that I hate you for giving me this bullshit? Huh?"

Her hands released him, much to his relief and regret. Seraph bowed her head. "Well… people want to do that all the time, right?" she asked lowly. "So many people… hate me for that reason. So many don't want to look at me. Don't want to…" She looked at him with those vaguely despairing eyes again. "I just want to be looked at… You know?"

He gazed back, unable to keep that fire he had moments ago. He thought of his mother's hazy eyes, peering at him without any trace of sobriety. As though they didn't recognize him, not quite. Suddenly he felt as though the hug she'd given him was to the Roppi of yesterday, yes, the child that knew not true affection.

"…I—know," he answered, discomfort thick in his lungs.

"And even if you were to hate me… Hah." Her tone lowered, and she took a step back. "I'd just laugh it off like always. Like a lot of the people in this stupid game do. But in the end, I already _said…_ you can't escape me. You can't get rid of me. You can reject me, but you'll never get away!" Her tone was rising in tension. "But—ah…" She deflated, stretching her fingers apart as she relaxed. "…That's not the way to do things, or you end up falling apart. I learned that." And she laughed heartily.

Roppi stared, speechless.

"That's all I can really give you right now, though, Roppi," she said apologetically. "Konoha will come back out soon… Heh. I love him, too. I hope you do well… no, I know you will." Seraph smiled warmly at him, and Roppi thought to himself that such a smile was one that only Tsuki would give him. Suddenly he felt his chest threatening to collapse under the heaviness of his longing. He opened his mouth, but had nothing to say. "Good luck, Roppi," she murmured, and began backing up, clasping her hands behind her back.

"Ah… wait—" he began, and the sound of the building's opening door cut him off. Roppi turned to see Konoha, carrying an abundance of food that nearly went over his android head. His brow furrowed in question, but then he jerked his head to look at where Seraph had been. What was before him was only sidewalk and an empty street. _…She's gone,_ he thought, unsure how to feel about the whole encounter.

"I got food…" Konoha tilted his head around the pile of food to look at Roppi, who frowned deeply at him.

" _Why_ did you grab that much food, Konoha?" he asked dully.

"I thought I'd grab some for you, too," he answered quietly, expressionless as always. His head tilted further. "Half of it is yours."

The bitter one ran a hand through his hair, annoyed. "I don't need that much, Konoha."

"Ah, but we can eat together, right?"

"I'm not hungry…"

"But food tastes better when you share it with friends," Konoha insisted, and Roppi looked to the ground. "Will you… really not share?"

"I'll take a fucking sandwich, okay?" he grumbled, crossing his arms and sitting on the bench where his machine gun rested.

Konoha lit up, giving a gentle smile as he sat down. "I am glad that we are able to eat together as friends," he commented as he spread out the food in front of them, taking a pre-made sub he'd found in the deli section while Roppi started on some strawberries, if grudgingly.

The dark one grunted noncommittally, his gaze distant. _Friends, huh?_ he thought, and closed his eyes. _…These strawberries… are pretty good._


	11. Death is Misleading

No one really seemed to be talking. Not about real things. A-ya was floating as he walked, every word that passed him as he, Izaya, and Rika returned just went straight through him. Rika was silent, eyes shrouded. Minene was growling at Rika that she shouldn't disappear like that, apparently having been worried even though she masked it now with anger rather than relief. Celty began typing rapidly every question she had in the meantime, worried for everyone's well-being and wondering where Roy might be. Suzuya seemed only vaguely concerned. Twelve seemed to hold worry, but he was still an odd shade of optimism. Yukiteru and Akise approached A-ya, Yukki desperately asking whether he was alright while every word that escaped his mouth made A-ya's insides twist further.

"Please, please, don't harass A-ya-kun too much on the matter," Izaya had said. "Roy-san won't be coming back…"

It was A-ya who told the story, nearly falling into total hysteria in the midst of his tale. It was Yato. He killed Roy, all because of a foolish exchange between A-ya and the god that only resulted in Yato's outrage. Roy had saved him only to get sacrificed in the process. "It's because of me," he insisted repeatedly, tone rising and rising in a tumultuous whirlwind of emotion while everyone else assured him that it wasn't, it wasn't his fault even though he _knew,_ he _knew_ that he was the one who had killed Roy, they were wrong and… only he…

…At least the story was believable.

As they moved locations to one of the larger shops nearby, the sun began to rise. Yukiteru was assuredly holding onto A-ya's arm, but he couldn't feel it. It felt strange. Yukiteru said, "Ah, the sunrise… It's so beautiful."

A-ya looked at it. "…Yeah…," he agreed distantly. The thought that Yukiteru could still feel the sun's warmth comforted him, somehow. Noticing the pressure of Yukki's arm with his own, A-ya tried to return the gesture. Yukiteru's expression melted into something like relief, but A-ya still couldn't look at him.

Celty had suggested that they all settle somewhere to rest for just awhile longer in order to recover from the previous incident. Yukiteru agreed whole-heartedly, and so they went to rest up. On the second floor of the shop, there were three bedrooms and a small living space. Yukiteru, Celty, Twelve, and Suzuya hung around in the living area, remaining rather quiet. Twelve was leaning comfortably against the back of the old and worn couch placed in the room. He seemed like he might fall back to sleep anyway, though Suzuya was peering at him, hanging upside-down as he leaned backwards off the arm of a cloth chair. Celty, Minene, and Yukiteru were just too riled up to want to go back to sleep, so they merely took rest with the other two. Rika had retreated to one bedroom, A-ya resigning to the next. Izaya and Akise had gone out to the roof to stand guard together, Izaya's amusement at his partner choice evident.

Within Rika's chosen bedroom, Hanyuu hovered at her bedside, brow furrowed as she looked down on the ten-year-old lying on her back, no sheets to cover her. Hanyuu couldn't quite tell whether her light purple eyes held conviction or emptiness. "I… I don't really like how—how that went," mumbled Hanyuu, and Rika closed her eyes.

"Roy is dead again," she agreed quietly. All of her memories of previous games came to mind. It was strange, really… Unlike the typical memories of previous routes in her own world, in these games she could never remember anything past the point they were at now… no, not unless something painfully obvious like Roy's death had triggered a memory of where this was headed: Demise.

"But something changed," Rika added, opening her eyes again. She began to smile. "Izaya's never intervened like that."

"I—I _know_ , but… but I don't really like that guy," frowned Hanyuu, and Rika chuckled.

"Izaya?"

"Yes. Him."

Rika sat up, beginning to smile. "At least he's interesting… He was right, though… So I won't give up just yet."

The goddess only drew her lips into a thin line, almost pouting. She didn't know whether to be happy that Rika had gained motive for action back, or upset that it was Izaya Orihara that did it. Sighing, she sat at the edge of the bed as Rika laid back down and closed her eyes. They'd remain there for some time.

Just behind the head of the bed where Rika's head rested, there lay A-ya behind the wall, curled up beneath the blankets with the pillow over his head.

 **Keep in mind, you can't control me…**

He was so exhausted, but he knew he couldn't, shouldn't sleep. Not that sleeping would help anyway, seeing as Kuroha was awake when he wasn't… meaning his body never rested, even if he did. What was the point? Knowing the things Kuroha could do, it's not like it would help A-ya's mental state to sleep.

 **Can't sleep, Loner?** An amused hiss. The serpent's voice was resounding through his thoughts as he lay there, wishing for sweet isolation. **You chose this. You chose me.**

He thought of how it had felt, his own body taking Roy's life. **He needed to go anyway – he'd almost found out.**

 _But Izaya and Rika know now, too…_

 **We could kill them too, if we need to.**

 _Ah, what have I…?_

 **That's right, wallow in blame – it's your fault, after all. You knew from the start that this would happen, didn't you? You claimed to be ready for any consequence… Well, here's one petty death, and that's just the beginning…**

…

 **So, were you ready, Loner?** The demon sounded increasingly pleased. **It's too bad, really. You'd given such a good show in the beginning, Loner… Ah. Who should we kill next? Look at what you've done… how will Observer accept the truth of you now?**

 **You're nothing but a monster… You've always had the potential to be one, you know.**

 **Haven't you noticed?**

 **Keep in mind… this is** _ **your**_ **wish… You** _ **wanted**_ **this, didn't you?**

 **And if you want Observer to remain at your side… you understand, you'll have to kill more of them, you know?**

A-ya didn't respond to the snake, lying in the darkness underneath the blankets of the bed.

 **Ah, as expected…** He could feel the demon smiling within. **…You're so incredibly helpless.**

A-ya twitched. C-ta's catchphrase… huh…?

The dark-clad boy felt his mouth twisting, his body trembling as he took to laughing. "Helpless, am I?" he murmured, and emerged from beneath the pillow, turning onto his back and lying like that, staring at the ceiling. "…I'm sure you're right…" _...But Izaya reminded me why I made this decision in the first place… Ah, and Rika… her views are exactly as my own… Who cares for the ordinary, mundane everyday when this…_ this _is far more_ interesting _, at the very least…!_

"…But I already knew that I was," he said with vague ruefulness, gazing up into the ceiling with tired red eyes. "You're saying a lot of terrible things… but I'm used to hearing them from myself. From C-ta, even though I know he meant well… I…" He closed his eyes, bring his hands to the back of his head comfortably. "…But is that such a good thing…? I know it isn't… I'm just saying it's what I'm accustomed with… Yet I'm also accustomed with boring, and you're interesting, simple as that."

 **You're still calling me interesting, even now?** the snake questioned, sounding rather skeptical, if humored.

"Absolutely. I've been into the occult since I started middle school… I never thought I'd have such a cool opportunity to be acquainted with a dream demon such as yourself…"

 **Don't get too friendly, Loner,** he hissed uncertainly.

"People would probably grow to reject you by now, right?" A-ya chuckled and sat up, hugging his knees. "But isn't this exactly what you're expected to do, as a demon? You're right… I knew it all along. I _had_ been expecting this, hadn't I? I'd just almost forgotten, that's all… Izaya and Rika reminded me of why I'm here now, though, so I'm not backing down. There's no time for regret when it means my lack of willpower lends itself to your strength. Just because I love the occult doesn't mean I want you going around with free reign of my body…"

 **You're trying to tell me you still fancy this idea, huh, Loner?** The serpent was confused but amused. **Even though I've killed with your hands? Even though I know in** _ **your**_ **head they didn't deserve it?**

"Yes, even then." He began to smile. "I'm not going to say I like the fact that Roy died… no, that's something I refuse to think too much on—but I _do_ know how this game works, and what's the point in mourning the dead when this game is no more than a show? Death is misleading, murder's no more than an illusion here… right?"

… **Whatever pleases you, kid…**

"No, no, I mean, I've died, too. Death means _nothing_ to me if whoever's running this has the power to just bring me back at will. 'This game is fake.' I've said it time and time again… No. This game… I can make it do what I want, too, if I really put my mind to it…" He brought his hands to his eyes to cover up the fixated glimmer that had begun to shine there. "That's right…" His smile was spreading further. "Kuroha… You and I need to coexist. We need to compromise. Because if I really needed to, I would jump at the chance to end my life if it meant keeping you from hurting Yukiteru. Don't argue otherwise – I've killed myself before."

 **Is that a** _ **threat,**_ **brat?** A-ya could feel his irritation beginning to simmer.

"Maybe," he admitted. "But I don't really want to threaten you. I've been trying to explain that I want to _cooperate_ with you, not resort to shutting you down. Remember, you're only within the realm of existence because I agreed to make that deal. Hear me out… You want to exist, right? And I want to stick by Yukiteru, right?"

… **I will not settle for mere existence without control nor purpose.**

"No, listen… You want to maximize your time existing, right? Just like I want to maximize my time with Yukiteru…" A-ya paused, mustering his will to say his next words. "Kuroha, let's reset."

There was a delay in response. The serpent was momentarily surprised; words failed him. For someone to come that conclusion: the same as his own? And he didn't have to drag them to the end of tragedy in order to force them into that choice as an act of desperation? He should be pleased, but it felt rather stale. Kinda… less exciting?

"You're silent, but I know it was your intent all along. This game is fake… and the game masters don't want it to end. Understand? _I don't either._ " He laughed breathily. "What have I to go back to? I leave Yukiteru behind, and C-ta and B-ko are dead, if the game masters want to follow the logic of the players' perceptions. If not, we may not go _anywhere_. What awaits us at the end of this game? Who's to say this game ever happened at all? For all we know, there's a parallel version of us just going about doing daily activities as though none of this ever happened! That said, the version of us that is our conscious self… Wouldn't it cease to exist? _I_ exist, right now, here in my own head. Just like Yukiteru exists. Just like you exist.

"Even if we _did_ go back, remembering everything from this game… Even if we were to go back and find that all of those we lost are back – if we were to return to normality, do you really think that's what I want to go back to? No! No…" Softly, he chuckled. "As far as I'm concerned, if the game ends, we end. I want to spend time with Yukiteru… yeah, even C-ta again. You just want to exist, causing havoc on the way. I don't mind you causing havoc, knowing that death is nothing more than an illusion here… It's inconsequential. Lives here are nothing; I get it. Logically I can comprehend this; emotionally I've yet to. But that's fine, isn't it? I want to spend time with Yukiteru… yeah, so he isn't allowed to die. That's all I ask, and that's something you've agreed to earlier on, isn't it?

"I'm giving you the ideal wish, here, Kuroha. I'm proposing that we reset the game – I know it can be, and I know you know it too… Isn't that perfect? Isn't it exactly what you want – exactly what _we_ want? And then next loop, well, it'll be another chance. More time."

The serpent was silent, curling into a mental coil as he processed what his master had just asked of him. For a human, a mere human, to speak of life and death as inconsequential, just as he would? He, the Clearing Eyes Snake, who viewed the affairs of humans as petty and insignificant to a being such as himself, who had come into being centuries beforehand…?

Ah, but this boy still had his weakness, that dastardly thing called 'love,' the strongest human emotion as well as the one that was humanity's downfall. The serpent began to smile inwardly at such a thought. No, this human child was just as foolish as the rest… Even if he had potential to be a monster… even if he was metamorphosing into one as they spoke…

Kuroha couldn't help but think to himself that monsters weren't meant for love. His first master, the first Medusa, who had been birthed at the beginning of time… She had fallen victim to that ugly tale of love and loss. And what had become of her?

A scoff escaped him, and A-ya stirred in anticipation of his response, patiently waiting. That was right… This boy, Loner, had still come to the same conclusion as him despite the fact that he, the serpent, had not needed to so much as suggest such an idea. He didn't have to whisper it in the back of his mind, lure him to this end… this, no, this _coda_ that would bring them back in time.

A thrill began to fill him. A-ya had proposed an irresistible deal, the 'ideal wish' indeed… It wasn't that this boy was equivalent to him, not at all… This wasn't about equality; this was about common interest! Could he ask for anything better? A host that wanted the exact thing that he did? It was a strange feeling, to have a vessel that suggested the very thing that Kuroha's ulterior motive had been all along. To have the same ulterior motive. To have the same ultimate motive. It was too good to be true!

… **You mock me. Is that truly what you're after?**

"You're the one in my head," A-ya shrugged. "You can read my thoughts all you want. In that respect, you have the upper hand. I have the advantage when it comes to cutting this life short, on the other hand – it's _my body._ There is no catch, Kuroha. Just, we've got to cooperate, which I know you won't like doing just because you're so used to working solo… I'd guess so, anyway. It also means we're going to work with other people."

 **What other people? Because the group we're in now is far too large for my tastes…**

"We'll see," answered A-ya. "But it also means that you can't do anything to Yukiteru."

 **We've discussed this.**

"And I'm reiterating it."

 **For someone who speaks of death so lightly… Isn't it strange for you to continue on with your protection of Observer?**

"No. I want to be by his side… That was my wish, wasn't it? I don't want you answering my wish by getting him killed and then resetting, no… I don't want him touched this time around… or any other. If we go about this the way I'm suggesting, you'll be ensuring the granting of my wish while also extending your existence. We both get what we want. I've thought this through; I know…"

 **And what's the meaning of that, Loner?**

"Well…" A smile ghosted over him. "…I want to get to know a demon. Is that so wrong?"

In the living space nearby, the five waiting in rest were at varying states of calmness and restlessness. Twelve and Suzuya seemed the calmest, even though Suzuya looked like he was getting a little bit impatient. Celty was next up, looking vaguely uncomfortable in her posture but otherwise fine. Minene was just irritable as always, openly complaining about the lack of action. At last, there was Yukiteru.

The diary owner looked around at everyone else with flickering blue eyes that flitted from one conversation to the next. Twelve and Suzuya was talking about the eyes of that Nora girl. Minene was complaining, as mentioned, while Celty would respond mildly with a flash of her phone screen. Seemed the female terrorist was still sore about Rika having gone out so dangerously, but the concept was just strange to Yukki, who had only seen Minene as a ruthless terrorist previously.

 _No, she saved Yuno and I from poison gas, that time… for whatever reason._ He closed his eyes. _I remember that now. But…_

Then again, Twelve was also a terrorist, apparently… But it sure didn't feel like he was. He was super friendly, even though he was also playful… He teased in ways he shouldn't, but honestly, next to that Izaya guy, he was golden.

All of this wasn't really what bothered him, though, honestly. _No one seems to be thinking about Roy-san,_ he thought with an ill-at-ease frown.

Twelve joined in the conversation between Minene and Celty, suddenly: "Minene, you were pretty scared when Rika ran off, huh?"

"Shut up," the opposing terrorist growled. "She's just a kid."

"I mean, I asked, and she says she's ten years old. That's not _that_ young," Twelve commented thoughtfully.

"I wonder if she saw what happened to Roy," added Suzuya.

[I hope not.] wrote Celty.

"Ah, she's seen worse," Minene waved Celty off. "Like when your group was slaughtering mine? Yeah…"

[I was not a part of that!] Celty protested. [I didn't mean any harm, myself…] Pause. [I didn't want to fight. You don't need to forgive me, but I apologize for the actions my group took…]

"Well, I've gotta thank your group anyway," Minene shrugged. "Mine was just a collection of crazies."

"Yeah?" inquired Twelve, shooting his eyebrows up in amusement. "Do tell~"

"Ugh." She crossed her arms. "I had some fucked up kid who was a 'Deadman.' Totally a nut. Then I had the personification of lust, and this freaky-ass parasite lady. Not the best of times."

Yukiteru's fists were clenched in his lap as he listened, his head bowed. _How…?_

"Nice," laughed Twelve. "I guess they weren't a very cooperative bunch?"

"Nope," she scoffed.

"And Celty seemed like she had problems from hers," Twelve remarked, and Celty bobbed her helmet in confirmation.

[They wanted only destruction. The only one that didn't wish for chaos was killed by one of said other teammates within the first day.]

"Wow," said Suzuya.

 _How they can they talk about the dead so easily…?_ Yukiteru felt his body tensing in protest to the talk around him.

"Makes me thankful for the lot I was given," said Twelve, stretching. "A strange combo though it may be, I love my group," he snickered.

"I don't," said Suzuya, and Twelve blinked.

"Heyyy!" he cried in joking protest. " _I'm_ in your group!"

Suzuya picked at his lower lip, unconcerned. "So?"

"Well," said Minene, rolling her single eye, "…as long as we can cooperate, I don't give a shit. Just don't piss me off."

"You don't have to argue with Roy anymore," pointed out Twelve, and she nodded.

"Eh, true."

Yukiteru twitched.

"Although, that fire thing was pretty badass," she grumbled in admittance.

Yukki furrowed his brow, frowning as he lifted his head. "…G…guys…," he began, his voice barely a whisper.

"I just wanna get _moving_ again," Suzuya sighed, sliding further from the arm of his chair, his hair dangling below his upside-down head. "Are we all rested up yet?"

"Guys," Yukiteru tried again, his tone firm.

"What is it, Yukki?" asked Minene dully, closing her eye. Twelve peered at him with one open eye, curious. Suzuya was staring with those creepy wide eyes of his. Celty turned her helmet to indicate she was listening.

The fourteen-year-old backed off a bit, nervous from the attention. "Y… you all can't be _serious_ …"

"About what?" Twelve asked blankly.

"How—how can you go and talk about people who've died so… so _casually_ like that?" he asked, a tremor to his tone. He shook his head, composing himself.

"What?" asked Suzuya. "People being dead, what's the difference? They're still the same person."

"That's not—" Yukki's frown deepened. "Do you care, at all…?"

Celty's discomfort was evident. [I do.]

"If someone dies, it's not like it really matters," said Suzuya, stretching his sewn-up arm above him and staring at his outstretched fingers. "Having someone die beside you, 'mourning' them is the same as having breakfast with them. The same as playing ball. For someone to die, I really just don't care. It just happens."

"…Hm," said Twelve. "I might not go _that_ far, but after it happens enough, you just…" He shrugged. "You don't feel the loss, at some point." The friendly terrorist smiled, closing his eyes. "Yukiteru, this is a death game. People are bound to die."

"I've killed people as young as you," Suzuya spoke in dead tones, staring at Yukiteru.

"U-uh…?" Yukiteru backed up on the couch only to jump when Minene clasped him by the shoulder.

"Yukki," she said firmly, and he stiffened.

"Wh…what is it, Minene?" he answered nervously.

"The only people that matter in this world are the ones that are still alive." She spoke with coldness, yet also from experience. Yukiteru swallowed. "The ones that are already dead… there's no point in worrying about them. There's nothing you can do for them – they're just dead, and that's it. Don't waste your life thinking of the dead – it's not like you'll get them back. What's past is passed. The only place you can go is to the future. Got it?"

Yukiteru stared up at her for some time before breaking eye contact and turning his stare to the ground. "…Sorry."

She scoffed. "Prove it."

"I—"

"You're okay, Yukiteru," assured Twelve.

Celty had begun typing on her phone when they heard one of the doors opening. They looked down the hall to see Rika closing the bedroom door behind her with a gentle _click_.

"Ah, Rika," said Minene, blinking.

" _Mii~_ " Rika answered happily, trotting down the hall towards the five awaiting her.

 _I wonder how A-ya is doing,_ thought Yukiteru, bringing a hand to his face.

"You're a tough kid, you know that?" Minene told her, and she bobbed her head happily.

"Maybe it's almost time to go, huh, Suzuya?" asked Twelve brightly, upon which Suzuya answered, "I hope so."

Rika stopped at the end of the hall, taking pause and touching her lips in contemplation. "Minene?"

"Eh?" She gave her a confused look as she waved for her to come over to her. Shrugging, the mostly-unfriendly terrorist went over to her, letting her grab her wrist with her tiny hand and pull her along down the stairs. "Ah, Rika, what's this about…? Need to talk or somethin'?"

Rika nodded as they reached the bottom of the steps, leaving behind the four in the small living space to discuss what this might be about. The ten-year-old gestured for Minene to come closer, and she frowned as she obliged, crouching on the ground to get closer to her height.

"What _is_ it, kid?" she grumbled, and Rika leaned close to her ear, cupping her hands around her mouth – the way secrets are told. Her tiny voice was low and quiet.

" _Minene, Yato didn't kill Roy._ "

"What, so he not dead?" she frowned, and Rika shook her head and shushed her. "Don't shush me—" she began, but Rika's serious look quieted her. "Fine," she whispered, if irately so. The eye patched one gestured for the other to continue. "Shoot."

Rika leaned in again. " _Yato wasn't there. He'd run away. The mischievous one who played a traitor's game is A-ya. He killed Roy._ "

Minene's single eye was widening, brow furrowing. "No shit," she remarked in undertones.

" _A-ya isn't A-ya. He's bound by a demon who takes pleasure in tragedy._ "

"Well, fuck," she mumbled, looking at Rika with urgency. "Well, what're we gonna do about it?" she asked quietly. "We gonna blow him up? We've gotta get rid of him; shit…" She facepalmed. "Ugh, Yukki, you make some really crazy friends…"

"I wanted to tell you," Rika said, clasping her hands behind her back and shifting childishly from foot to foot. "I don't know what we should do. You can decide that."

"Fuck," she grunted, getting to her feet. She began stalking through the store section and towards the exit.

"What are you doing, Minene?" Rika asked, trotting along behind her, practically at a jog to keep up with the terrorist.

"I'm telling Akise." She yanked open the door with force to find Akise and Izaya in the middle of (un)pleasant conversation, making their way to the door at the same time.

"Ah, Minene-san!" cried Izaya in delight. "We were just deciding that it might be a good time to—"

"Akise, c'mere!" Minene cut him off, grabbing the boy detective by the forearm and pulling him back inside.

"Minene-san?" was Akise's confused response as he was dragged inside.

"Ah, Minene-san, what's this—?"

"Shut up, Eskimo bitch man!" Minene snapped. "I don't need you!" And she slammed the door behind her and Akise.

Izaya stood, frozen, there. Rika happily smiled up at him. He looked at her. "…She just called me an Eskimo bitch man," he said blankly.

"That is so~" Rika answered, and he erupted with laughter.


	12. Schism

Upstairs in the rest point of Groups 6 and 3, Twelve and Celty had come to the conclusion that Rika just wanted to get what had happened off of her chest. "Though admittedly, something's definitely fishy about the whole thing," added Twelve.

"Why? People die in death games," said Suzuya, finally sitting up and looking at everyone right-side-up. He scratched at his messy white hair.

"Oh, something's not right as all," Twelve dismissed him, closing his eyes. "It's nothing… Nothing at all, Suzuya~"

Suzuya frowned at him.

[I do agree that something isn't right.] Celty came in.

Yukiteru breathed a sigh. "Pardon me, everyone," he said quietly, standing up.

[Where are you going?] asked the Dullahan, and Yukiteru read her message, tugging at his hat.

"I want to go check on A-ya." With that, he turned and approached A-ya's door down the hall with much tentativeness. He heard Twelve telling him good luck, but at this point Yukki was more concerned with the door in front of him. _Think of it as one of those night talks,_ he assured himself, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. _Yeah, he's shut in a room, but that's just A-ya… I'm sure he just doesn't want to be around all the others. After all, both of us are used to being together, just him and I… right?_ Mustering up the courage to open the door, he grasped the handle… and paused. He heard something. _Ah… he's, talking?_

Leaning closer to the door, he strained to hear his words. _Is this wrong? I shouldn't do this, should I…?_

Behind the door, he heard muted speech, quiet and barely audible; A-ya was speaking very quietly. "…Glad… …decided." Furrowing his brow, Yukki listened closer. "Reset is our route. Now the first thing… …won't have an excuse…"

 _Reset?_ Yukiteru closed his eyes, shaking his head. _I shouldn't eavesdrop like this. I'm terrible._ With that, he opened the door.

There was A-ya, sitting up on the bed, one arm wrapped around one of his knees, the other leg furled beneath him. He looked at Yukiteru and smiled an off-putting smile that the diary owner decided to shrug off. "Um." He closed the door behind him. "I don't want to interrupt you or anything… but I wanted to make sure you were—okay."

A-ya swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. For some reason, Yukiteru got the impression that A-ya was exuding something dark. The room felt strangely cold. Did he have air conditioning in here?

"Um… You're kinda quiet," said Yukiteru. "If you want me to leave, I can…"

"No, no, you're here at the perfect time, Yukiteru," A-ya assured him. "Thank you."

He blinked, then gave a weak smile in return. "Oh, um… you're welcome? I think…"

"There's something I need to talk to you about," A-ya explained, tilting his head and clutching at his chest with one hand. That smile was still on his face.

"Yeah? What is it?" The pure one felt the need to take a few steps back, but he couldn't imagine why he'd want to back away from his best friend. He stayed put, denying the uneasy feeling he was getting in his gut.

A-ya averted his gaze, bowing his head. "Ah, Yukiteru… Well, I'm not really all too sure how to go about bringing this up… but…"

"Does it—have to do with resetting the game?"

A-ya's head jerked back up, and he stared blankly at his friend.

Yukiteru gave him that weak smile again. "I, um, had heard something about 'reset' when I'd gone to the door. I didn't mean to listen to you or anything, it just—kinda happened. I get it… I mean, I've told you once before that I want to go back to the start." He was rubbing his arm nervously. His mouth felt dry. "But also… I want to work for the future, because… if we go back, won't the same thing happen again?"

"Maybe," A-ya said flatly. "I don't mind."

Yukiteru blinked, surprised. "Um, A-ya…?"

"I don't mind at all. I want to go backwards; maybe I'm a backwards kind of guy… But… I have no hope for the 'future.' In fact, there _is_ no 'future.' And that's why…"

"…A-ya?"

" **Yeah, I'll reset,** " he said, speaking in two voices simultaneously. He smiled at his friend, and Yukiteru unwillingly shivered. " **And then we really can be together… Yes, forever, if we really wanted.** " He laughed a bit in that dual tone, then said in one voice, "I don't want to go back to being lonely."

"A-ya, what are you talking about? We don't have to—"

He was cut off by A-ya's fist being driven into the wall just near Yukiteru's head, red sparks flickering around his buried hand. Yukki's mouth was agape in shock, standing stiffly. He backed up at last, bumping into the door behind him. A-ya was still smiling at him.

"Yukiteru, I needed to tell you something," he said, his tone like that of contained excitement he got when he told his legends or reminisced on rumors. "So, listen."

"I'm listening," Yukiteru said weakly.

Downstairs, Minene had explained bluntly to Akise that A-ya was possessed and was probably going to screw them all over if they didn't do something about it. The boy detective only touched his chin, contemplative. "Ah, that isn't good," he said, at which Minene hissed back, " _No shit._ " Izaya and Rika came back in. The informant was, of course, curious about the whole thing, but Akise only told him that he'd let him know soon enough when he was discussing it with the group as a whole.

Up the stairs they went, Izaya a bit miffed that he hadn't been informed even though he was getting a good idea of what had happened by the way Rika grabbed his hand out of nowhere and squeezed before happily prancing back up to Minene.

Upon entry of the living space, Akise called the attention of the others. Celty, immediately concerned, got to her feet. "No need to panic just yet, Celty-san," Akise smiled. "There's just something that needs to be discussed with everyone. It's very important, and it regards A-ya…"

"Yeah?" asked Suzuya. "Wazzat?"

"Hm…" Akise frowned slightly. "Where… is Yukiteru-kun?"

"With A-ya," Twelve said brightly, and a loud smash got everyone's attention, as though something had hit a wall. Something, be it the wall or the object, sounded like it had broken.

"Alright, I'm going to explain this quick," Akise said urgently, and everyone was at attention.

"My, my…," sighed Izaya, running a hand through his hair as he grinned. His other hand was on the hilt of the Prophet, on-guard. Things were about to get complicated. _What has A-ya-kun gotten himself into?_

"I'm telling you that I'm not going to hurt you," said A-ya, back in the bedroom with Yukiteru. "I'm telling you that now. But I'm also saying that I'm going to cause a scene. I'm going to wreck this alliance, and I'm going to expect you to take the side that isn't mine."

"A-ya, why would—?"

"Yukiteru, I'm possessed by a demon," A-ya told him plainly, and Yukiteru stared at him incredulously.

" _What?_ I thought you were joking!"

"Maybe I was," A-ya shrugged.

"You've been—since _when_?!" he cried.

" **I'm going to end this group. I'm leaving it.** " The double voice again.

"Can't we just work this out?" he tried, and A-ya laughed in two voices.

" _ **Can we?**_ " he cried happily, ripping his hand from the wall. " **Don't worry, when we go back, it'll start again. Without a future, I'll make one. It'll be fine.** " He grinned. " _ **Trust me**_ **.** " He staggered backwards, laughing, and then slammed his palm into the ground, red electricity crackling around him. Sending a jolt through the building, the ceiling light and bedside lamp flickered to light, growing brighter and brighter until they burst, shattering with a frightening _pop_ along with the sound of shattering glass. Yukiteru gave a yelp of fear. "That was _so cool!_ " cried A-ya hysterically. "Amazing! Did you see that?!"

"A-ya…"

They could hear the others trying to open the door now – Yukiteru could feel it shaking at his back.

"Yukki, get outta there!"

Yukiteru glanced back at the door. To his surprise, it was Minene's voice. _I need to stop A-ya,_ he thought. _But how?_ Nothing came to mind.

" **Don't look so upset,** Yukiteru!" he cried in delight. " **This game is nothing but entertainment, searching for the perfect ending! Well I, like the game masters, am not looking forward to its conclusion. There's no need for you to worry, though, because you're going to be safe either way! This will be** _ **my**_ **game now…!** "

"A-ya, stop this!" Yukiteru shouted to him. "For you to be possessed, why didn't you just say so?! We can totally figure this out!"

" **There's nothing else** _ **to**_ **figure out.** "

 _How do I get through to him? I don't want to fight him, and he's way stronger than me right now, anyway… Ah, there's…_ that, _but…_

"Yukiteru-kun, can you hear me?" called Akise from beyond the door, and Yukki froze. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" he called back, remaining with his back pressed to the door. _If they come in now… I, don't want anyone hurting A-ya, either…!_

On the other side, Minene, Akise, Izaya, Rika, Twelve, and Suzuya all hurriedly tried to figure out what to do. "Why don't I just fucking blow up the door?" growled Minene.

"Because… you might blow up Yukiteru?" suggested Twelve.

"So?"

"Doesn't that… kinda defeat the purpose of trying to help him?"

"We can't use explosives," said Akise, hand to his chin. "That's too forceful." He gazed at the door. "He says he's fine… Yukiteru-kun is good friends with A-ya-kun. Perhaps this is something that he needs to work out. Perhaps this just isn't our scene to partake in."

"Can Yukiteru-kun handle the situation?" asked Izaya, raising his eyebrows. "Do you think that he can handle the thought that A-ya-kun might 'betray' him, so to speak?"

Akise's eyes narrowed, his thin smile spreading. "I believe in Yukiteru-kun. He'll be fine. If it's A-ya-kun's future to betray us, then Yukiteru-kun will change it. I believe that with all my heart."

And with that, the door slammed open in a burst of bright orange, knocking everyone back and consequently hitting Minene with the door, much to her annoyance, expressed through the bark of an expletive.

They heard shattering glass. They heard thudding feet. By the time everyone peered into the doorway, there was a haze over everything and the wall leading to the outside had been destroyed.

"…What'd we miss?" asked Twelve.

"In we go!" cried Izaya, charging gladly into the room to investigate, the others following behind.

In the room, Yukiteru had come to the conclusion that he should activate Aureus's item. Maybe then, he could at least be strong enough to bring some sense to him, right?

"A-ya, can't we just talk for awhile? It'll work out, I'm sure…" His hand was in his pocket, his fingers brushing the orange stone that the items master had given him. He grabbed it, drawing his lips into a thin line. "I don't want you to leave like this…"

"I don't mind that you don't understand," said A-ya.

"Well _I_ mind that _you_ don't!" cried Yukiteru, lifting the gem into the air and throwing it to the ground in punctuation of his words, transforming in an explosion of orange swirling with black, like a monarch butterfly spreading its wings. There was Yukiteru, swathed in inky ebony as a cloak of the night swallowed him, torn at the fringes. Other than this eerie cloak, the rest of his previous attire was gone, leaving him without all but his hat. Somehow he didn't mind being barefoot, but he was so caught up in his transformation, staring in awe down at himself, that he didn't notice the bits of the crumbling ceiling had halted midair, hovering around him like miniature meteors. He looked around at these, and lit up. _Cool!_ With a wave of his arm, he sent the small debris showering on A-ya – the worst it would do was annoy him – leave a scratch, get in his eye, maybe. "Will you listen now?" he asked, running at him only for A-ya to demolish the wall behind him, jumping from the second story to the ground. Yukiteru followed. He was ecstatic to find that he fell slowly, as though he could defy gravity itself. _I can fly? Holy crap. I can_ fly!

Yukiteru landed gently on the ground, arms spread. He was floating through hazy rain. _It's… drizzling._ "A-ya," he said desperately, "it'll be okay! You don't have to run off… Hey, I have an idea!" A-ya was crouching on the ground, staring at him with that monotonous expression of his. "If you really want, you and I can just leave – just me and you! It'll be just the two of us again… I mean, plus the demon I guess?" Nervous laughter followed, and Yukiteru's worried eyes still did not wipe the weak smile from his lips. "Can we do that? Can't we?"

" _Yukiteru, what the fuck?!_ " shouted Minene from the second story. Izaya was gracefully jumping from the hole in the wall and into the rain as she spoke. "What's _that_ outfit?"

Yukiteru blinked up at her bemusedly, watching as she clicked her tongue and scooped up Rika in order to follow Izaya down to join them. _What if they try to hurt him…?_

" _Yukki_ , back off from him!" Minene snapped, and Yukiteru's confusion only grew.

"Huh?"

Carefully, Akise joined them on the ground with Celty, Suzuya, and Twelve following behind. "Yukiteru-kun," said the boy detective, his soft voice projected over the soft hiss of the drizzling rain so that he could hear. "Be careful. A-ya is the one who killed Roy."

"He… what?" Yukiteru wheeled back around to look at A-ya. Surely he didn't! He wouldn't!

But his friend was laughing with his hands to his face, curled forward slightly under the weight of that very knowledge. Surely… it was a lie… Right?

"I'm glad… they've figured it out already, anyway," he said, and dropped his hands, looking with sorrowful eyes to Yukiteru.

"You… didn't, right?" he asked quietly.

"…I did," he said. There was a pause between them. What could Yukiteru say? What could _A-ya_ say? The dark-clad hero then shouted to all the others, "I'm leaving this group! From here on, I'm playing this game _my_ way…" His mouth twisted in joy. " _I don't know about all of you,_ " he said in a different voice, " _…but I'm heading to where the game masters are._ "

"Be that as it may, the way you're getting there is not the path we're taking," Akise said coolly.

"Ah, I don't suppose A-ya-kun is planning to go _solo_ , is he?" Izaya smirked, hand to his chest. "Surely he wouldn't mind a companion~"

[Izaya, you're not seriously going to join him, are you?] Celty asked frantically.

"No, no, understand! I know there's a different purpose to this game, and _I_ wish to reach the end!" Hands in his pockets, he calmly walked past Yukiteru, towards A-ya. The dark-clad hero stood up fully, watching Izaya curiously. He didn't look displeased. "A-ya-kun is one of the ones I've found to have pieced together a good part of this ridiculous fiasco, and that's why I'd love to team up with the kid~"

 _Ah, I did expect to end up alone,_ thought A-ya. _But this… is better._

Yukiteru was beginning to deflate, his shoulders sinking. He heard people approaching behind him. "We're leaving," said Minene harshly, and Akise's pale hand took him by the shoulder.

"We need to leave them behind for now," Akise said apologetically.

 _Can I really… not…?_ He felt the cloak dissipating, returning to his regular attire of turtleneck, jacket, and shorts. He felt his boots on his feet again. _A-ya… killed Roy? He… is leaving the group… Can't I… stop him? Can't I bring him back?_

 _I know, Yukiteru,_ A-ya thought, gazing right back. _The demon we really seek… It was me._

 _I can't do a thing._

 _This is my cycle._

 _I'm so…_

 _I… am really, so…_

…Helpless.

"We need to work for the end somehow, some way!" Izaya pointed out, shrugging with his palms facing the sprinkling sky. "I just don't want to wait around anymore." Closing his eyes, he smiled. "This game works in—interesting ways, I guess you could say. What way is safer? Faster? I suppose we're at a crossroads! Where will we go?~"

"Not with you," growled Minene, pulling at Yukiteru and forcibly bringing him back and away from A-ya. They broke eye contact at last, and by the time Yukiteru had the chance to look back again, A-ya wasn't looking at him. "We're fuckin' booking it, alright, Yukki? No arguments. Who knows if they just want to stab us in the back?"

 _But… A-ya…?_

"Minene will lead," Akise said officially to the others.

"I'm a master of escape, after all," she snickered.

 _Is it really that we're 'escaping'?_

"What an interesting turn of events, A-ya-kun," remarked Izaya. "I hope you're pleased with the mess you've made, because now I'm along for the ride." He laughed a bit. "Look at what we've gotten ourselves into. Hm, this'll be fun~"

"I wonder if Rika will join us," A-ya answered flatly, watching the ten-year-old, who was gazing back at them with her tired old eyes.

"I think she's the one who tattled on you, A-ya-kun," said Izaya, and the dark-clad one only shrugged.

"So?"

As they spoke, Minene began guiding the child away from them. A-ya couldn't tell whether Rika was putting up protest or just wanted to stare eerily at them for longer. A-ya couldn't help but smile. _Thank you, Rika…_

"Alright, we're going to move fast, so let's hurry the fuck up, everybody," Minene ordered gruffly, on which Celty typed out, [I can carry Rika and Yukiteru with my shadows, if I need to. Anyone that needs to be. It will be faster.]

Minene curtly nodded to the idea, and Celty wrapped them up, much to Rika's child-like enjoyment, giggling exuberantly at the ride. Yukiteru, on the other hand, was frozen, his eyes wide. "Wh…what about A-ya…? We can't—just leave him…!"

"We can and we will, kid," the female terrorist answered bluntly. "Be glad they aren't trying to slaughter us while we're getting ready. _Oi!_ " she barked, looking over at Twelve, who was unmoving, looking over at A-ya and Izaya. "Twelve, you coming or not?!"

He looked at her, not answering for a moment. Then he beamed, saluting at her. "Sorry, Minene! It pains me to let a fellow terrorist go, but I'm following them! They seem more fun," he added with a grin. He then proceeded to bounce on over to them, much to the surprise of A-ya and Izaya.

"Twelve, hah?" Izaya inquired, eyebrows shooting up.

"You bet!" he beamed.

"And Suzuya," said A-ya without tone, tilting his head as Suzuya shuffled up to them.

"Eh? Why are _you_ joining, Suzu-chan?" asked Izaya, filled with cold amusement. "I thought you didn't like me?~"

"I don't," he answered, then looked at Twelve. "Twelve… is my partner."

"Aw, I'm touched!~" cried Twelve.

"Agh, whatever!" came the irate call of Minene, waving them off.

A-ya watched them skirt the house until they rounded the corner and were no more. "Look at that, A-ya-kun! You made two new groups!" Izaya praised, patting him on the back. Twelve and Suzuya high-fived, next to them.

"…I did," A-ya agreed distantly. He decided that he couldn't tell whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. _As long as we reach my goal…_ _ **…it will work out just fine.**_ Smiling, A-ya turned to face the opposite direction the others had gone and started walking. The others followed.

* * *

" _Ah, everything's changing…," Muse commented happily. In their arms was the little air balloon contraption that Twelve had made. Had it gone off? Yes. Was Muse covered in paint for a few hours? Maybe._

" _Everyone's making their own group now… Yato with Nora… Roppi with Konoha… Hell, Seidou and Kaneki are going solo, at this point… What remains of 'Groups 1 and 2' is so intertwined now that they're one group…" They breathed a sigh, closing their eyes contentedly. They were the only one in the top of the tower, the control center at the center of the game field. For now, Muse was alone. "Seraph went and intercepted Roppi when she knows she shouldn't have. I have Aureus leading Light to the graveyard and complaining to me about how his handful of players are falling apart because of me… Ah." They smiled. "I'm almost sad that Yukiteru and A-ya have split." The smile contorted into a terrible grin. "Almost. I wonder what Kuro-A-ya will do now… Very exciting. Groups 3 and 6 are like sister chromatids that have bound and split. What will be born from this schism, I wonder?" They opened their eyes again. "Hehe… I may have to consider coming up with a new way of categorizing the casualty fireworks, at this point… Maybe I'll just stick to the color of group origin after all, save for the female survivors. This game sure has come a long way…"_ _Muse's pale eyes glimmered. "Stage Two of the game began upon the entry of the new recruits and the female survivors… so…" They spun in their swivel chair idly, clutching the mostly-destroyed makeshift air balloon in their arms. "Here we are, everyone! Stage Three! Stage_ Three! _What a show! What a show!" Pressing their foot to the ground, they stopped spinning, staring wide-eyed into the screens before them, expression blank but eyes filled with fixation._

" _Here we are, friends." Muse spoke with low finality. "Will it end? There's no such thing as an 'ending'… Hah." Their eyes narrowed in pleasure, mouth curling. "Everyone, please… do your best." Looking down, the smile only stretched further upon the reading of a note strapped to the bottom of Twelve's contraption. 'Having fun?' it read._

 _Muse carefully pulled the note from the now-useless balloon, discarding the creation and holding the note in their hands with much care. Distant gratefulness shone in their pale eyes. "I am," Muse whispered, and leaned back in their swivel chair, content._


	13. Look-see

_I wish… I had my music._

Lying in a position that had somehow earned him comfort on that tiny loveseat, Shintaro stared at the ceiling with eyes red as the rising sun. Images flickered behind his corneas, vivid scenes painted perfectly. Memories danced tantalizingly or dreadfully before him, painted every shade of lonely, happy, despairing, nostalgic, and everything in between.

It came all at once: every parallel timeline. How many times had he killed himself with his red-handled scissors? How many times had his friend Konoha killed them all as Kuroha? How many times had he died back home, in comparison to…?

It wasn't just the times in his world, either. Given to him were also all the previous games, each with a different set of dynamics…

Shintaro was working alongside human Seidou and Akira and Kaneki and Saiko and Shirou. The hikkiNEET wondered what the purpose of his return was when all he'd earned was a medical bag and eyes that watched his back; the memories of Roppi's still-screaming form amongst the flames. The game master inside the hatch had granted him the chance to escape with that medical bag, telling him he should probably get going if he wanted to save Touka. "But _you know_ ," he added with a strained smile and a shrug, "she'll _probably_ die anyway, so." He clicked his tongue. Shintaro could tell that his sympathy was dripping with sarcasm. Shirazu had died in Yato's attack, and Seidou had been wounded along with Kaneki. The weary but unified group of six trudged along, but Shintaro was set on sacrificing himself if it meant he could save somebody— _anybody._ He was beginning to consider the idea that perhaps he could save everyone in his group, yeah, save them the trouble of having to deal with the failure that was Shintaro…

No, now he was alongside that Yato god, who was fighting the deranged Kaneki with flashes of holy cerulean, using the earnest Yukine as his Shinki as they strove towards the goal of becoming a god of fortune. Kaneki was torn – Touka and Hideyoshi were dead; Shirazu was dead; ghoul Seidou was laughing at his suffering from his perch on the rubble of the demolished buildings, destroyed by the battle that was raging.

Now it was Shintaro and human Seidou on a scouting mission, making sure the surrounding area was clear. They found Izaya, whom they'd had an alliance with previously. They approached the eerily alone informant, a dagger in his hand, stained red. When he turned and noticed them, he was void of expression. His red-brown eyes were not of their regular shade but red, the pupils slits. "Ah," he said flatly, tilting his head and smiling. "Pleasure to see you again… Recorder." As horror struck Shintaro too late, Seidou was skewered before him. He was next.

No, no, now their groups had scattered. Shintaro didn't know where everyone else had gone, but he had scrambled to escape the earthquakes of the clashing demons along with everyone else. He was gasping for air inside a building that he'd slipped into fearfully, hoping for safety. On the other side of his closed eyelids, he heard someone's voice: "Hiding from the chaos?" He jerked back to attention to find that there was one of the younger players before him, his wavy hair messy from the previous days of the games. He had empty pools of green for his eyes, drooping and weary, but his smile was still as warm and friendly at it had been at the intro. Shintaro remembered his name was 'C-ta,' but his attire had changed to a light blue hoodie. Seemed there was a face sewn onto the hood, but it was down, so the NEET didn't get a good look at it. In any case, the blue was spattered with darkened red. "I'm hiding, too," C-ta said to him. "I'm… the only one left." His brow furrowed in what almost seemed apology. "Perhaps you and I could team up?"

There was another where Shintaro hadn't even made it past the second day – that battle with Shinichi and Sebastian's group had ended him. Shinichi hadn't saved Roppi, and the half-parasite had since shut down. Shintaro sacrificed himself before Seidou and Tsuki could be taken down.

New picture.

Shintaro walked in late to the party, dragging his feet as he entered the hospital. He heard conflict upstairs and didn't want to approach it. He was in one of those funks where he felt worthless, and Roppi was dead. "Seidou," he mumbled to no one, "I made it back…"

Slowly, he ascended the stairs. In approaching room 2-15, he heard a struggle occurring. Outside the door, Saiko sat with her back to the wall, broken and bloody. Or at least, it seemed like her, even without a head to identify. Blood was spattered and smeared around her, as though she'd been thrown here. Shintaro felt sick, forcing one foot in front of the other, making himself approach what he didn't want to see, whatever it may be. He shakily opened the door with a gentle push; the door was nearly falling off its hinges. He felt like he was stepping in something sticky, but refused to look down and find out what it was. He recognized the body of Light. Of Shirazu. He saw the body of an auburn-haired boy that he could now identify as Shirou. He found Saiko's head, her face slack, eyes rolled back. _Where's Kaneki?_ he wondered idly as he looked at the profile of his team leader, cloaked in black.

Seidou held Akira at the neck, pressing her to the wall as she grasped at his hand. "Seidou?" Shintaro breathed, and the wraith turned his head to look at him, his blackened mouth twisting into an expression that Shintaro could not identify as a smile nor grimace. Tears and blood alike streamed down Seidou's pale face.

All of these scenes occurred at once, overlapping one another in one big overwhelming epiphany of all that had happened before, from the Emina Games to the world back home. _It's a flash flood,_ he thought. _A flashback flood._

He thought it funny, but didn't laugh. The red-jerseyed teen was struck with a wave of nihilism. _If all of this continues to repeat, what's the point of any of it?_ Though the sudden memories felt like dozens of lifetimes, he sensed that it only took a few moments. He wondered vaguely if Seidou felt that overwhelmed when he hit FastForward. Shintaro brought his hands to his face at the thought. _What's the point of giving me these memories? What should I do with them? Is there anything I_ can _do?_ A sharp vision of a route in which Shintaro had stood up to Kuroha before he had managed to kill Psyche. Seidou had joined him, and all together they had ended the demon. Sebastian had still come, killing Tsuki, killing Izaya. Shizuo and Yato (along with the Shinki Yukine) had ended Sebastian quickly. Much fewer casualties.

Was this time worse, or better?

Would comparing this time to others lead only to depression at this point? _Or will I just fall into the same pattern as always, only focusing on the bad memories anyway?_

What was this game's purpose? Why were they playing, and how many times would they have to before it finally ended? And why was it that he, Shintaro, the lamest guy in-game, the hikkiNEET that had thrown his life away… Why was it that _he,_ of _all people_ , was chosen to remember these things? _Just because I have the power at home? But then, why do I have it there?_

"What the hell's going on?" he whimpered, and wiped at his now-grey eyes with the red sleeve of his jersey.

In the dark, he sat up. _I wonder what time it is,_ he thought absently, rubbing at his face to try and fix the tear-streaked, sleep-deprived look he'd no doubt created. _I want to tell someone about this. But who?_

 _I barely know Akira, and the same goes for Shirou. Ah… I guess, can I really say that, remembering all these other times, now? And Shirazu… I, don't know… I don't think he's the best guy to tell this kind of thing?_ He scratched at his messy black hair, sighing. _Even if I_ could _tell Konoha right now, he'd probably pass it off as unimportant or beyond his thought processes… or something. I don't know. And Roppi… If this is bringing me back to thinking there's no point in anything—why would I tell him something like this?_ He let his bangs fall over his eyes. _No, the truth is that I don't feel like telling any of these people in particular. Really, I… want to talk to Seidou about it._ Putting the thought into words made his eyes burn again, and to distract himself he looked over at where Light had been designated to sleep. The couch was empty and cold. Looking to the window above the couch, he realized there was a soft glow touching the sky that indicated the coming dawn. "I wonder if Light will come back." A thought struck him: _What if he died out there?_

Groaning in protest to what he knew was necessary, he got to his feet. "I hope he's okay…," he mumbled, rubbing at his face as he shuffled blindly forward, making his way slowly but surely to the stairs leading to the second floor. _If he's really not okay… what will I do? Oh god… It'd be… my fault…_ He tripped on the third stair ledge, grunting as he nearly faceplanted. From there he managed to make his way up the stairs, hesitating at Akira's door before deciding that maybe he'd just tell whoever was on watch – meaning, Shirazu.

 _Light might be_ missing, _Shintaro, just_ knock on the door _,_ he scolded himself, and knocked on her door.

Her cool voice answered, "One moment; I'll be right there."

Nervously, he lowered his fist, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets and swallowing. _Can I talk to people right now? Can I? Crap, what if I forget how to talk to people again?_ He closed his eyes. _I really, really just want to be alone. I want to be alone. I want to be alone._

The door handle turned with a _click_ , and his heart skipped a beat. He kept his face down as Akira answered the door, looking down on him. "What is it, Shintaro?" she asked. "Everything alright downstairs?"

"…A… he… Light… I, mean…" _I didn't stop him, did I? Oh god, what if she blames me for not catching Seidou in time to—_

— _no, she doesn't know that I was told about the pillar when I was with Aureus… Uh…_

"What happened, Shintaro?" she tried again, her tone gaining a note of urgency.

He stiffened. "I—" He looked at her, and told her. "Light left—he left late last night and I didn't stop him and I heard him leave but I didn't get up and I don't really know why but I think he was trying to kill Roppi—not that that's relevant or anything but he might have tried to—I don't know what was really—going on, or anything, but I really need to tell someone what happened and I figured that you should know that he might have had, um— _ill intent_ but then again what I'm trying to say is he left and he's not back and I'm sorry that I didn't stop him or tell you sooner but I—"

"Shintaro."

"Yeah?" His voice broke.

"Calm down," she said to him, putting a hand to his shoulder. It only made the static within him glitch further. "We'll go looking for him immediately. What did he do that made you think he was trying to kill someone?"

"I…" He lost his words again for a moment, then gathered his vocabulary back up with a cough before explaining in all apprehension, modesty, and discomfort that the pieces just fit together that way – the tale Light told about the mass murderer and how he needed only a name and face to kill… How he'd had that conversation with Shintaro yesterday about names and spellings and such… How Shintaro had taken his pen, but really he didn't know that any of it was solid evidence, maybe it was just intuition, maybe it was all in his head, but—

"I believe you," she said to him with a reassuring smile. He just about passed out from the relief. "He seemed rotten anyhow." Shintaro nodded dumbly. "That doesn't, of course, change the fact that we're going to try to find him."

"Oh—yeah."

"If I have anything to reprimand you for," Akira added, "it would be your delay of informing me of his leave. There are a lot of outcomes that could have resulted from this that are less than ideal."

Hanging his head, Shintaro nodded again.

"No use sulking. Let's wake Shirou."

"Uh… Yeah…"

They effectively woke Shirou without much resistance – the auburn-haired teen was quickly ready to go. Shirazu, on watch outside, was told of the current circumstance before the four of them headed out. "Where do you think he might've gone?" asked Shirazu, scratching at his head.

"We'll just have to search the surrounding area," said Akira. "If too much time passes, we will presume he is dead or gone AWOL, and we will continue without him."

"Harsh," the orange-haired officer mumbled, but Akira only shrugged him off.

"It's the way things work."

"I guess…"

Shirou only uncomfortably averted his eyes.

"I think he went to the graveyard," said Shintaro tentatively, and Akira eyed him.

"What makes you say that?"

"I—don't know? Sorry. Never mind."

"I've found that most often," she told him, "when your gut instinct speaks to you, it's speaking up for a reason." She closed her eyes. "We'll check the graveyard first."

It turned out he was right: upon the approach of the graveyard gates, they found blood spilled on the ground. Along with this, the right gate was open a crack.

"Looks like he started bleeding again," Shirou said, concerned. "Maybe he reopened one of his wounds…?"

"He may have bled out, in that case," Akira said bluntly, and continued into the graveyard without hesitation. Shirazu, Shirou, and Shintaro all looked at one another. Shirou was the first to follow. Swallowing, Shirazu went after him.

Slumping, Shintaro grudgingly obliged to the group's decision, trailing behind them all. As they followed the blood trail, Shintaro paused at the cool breeze that gusted over them. It felt nice in the warm weather, but it felt oddly sharp. An unease settled in the pit of Shintaro's stomach. _I don't remember ever entering the graveyard in any other route… Not that this is creepy or anything._ He brushed his fingers against one of the tombstones, disconcertingly blank, as though waiting to be engraved with a name of the dead. Brow furrowed, Shintaro noticed that all of them were bare of any inscription. He felt oddly isolated. Exposed.

Sticking his hands in his jacket pockets again, he wrapped his fingers around his stun gun. As if a stun gun could help him in any of the heinous situations that he could be faced with in this stupid game.

They followed the blood trail, Shintaro hanging back behind them, lagging further and further away. Eventually Shirazu turned around and gestured for him to come on closer, "Ya don't want us leavin' ya behind in a graveyard, do ya?"

Shaking his head vigorously, Shintaro quickened his pace and caught up.

The four of them followed the occasional spatter of blood, the scattered remnants of Light's lifeblood grew closer together; either Light was bleeding more at this point or he was slowing down walking. Perhaps it was both.

And just like that, the trail ended.

"Wh—where'd the trail go?" Shirazu demanded, as if anyone else knew the answer.

"Strange…," said Shirou softly, rubbing at the back of his head with wide eyes that he blinked bemusedly.

"What do we do now?" asked Shirazu as Shintaro wandered forward, confusion stirring within him.

 _Where did he…?_

"I don't see a body," said Shirou.

"Well he can't have just stopped bleeding," the orange-haired one protested.

"But the trail just… ends."

"What, he stop existing suddenly? What sense does that make?"

"I don't know, Shirazu," Shirou admitted, and Akira ended their conversation with one simple sentence:

"Something is wrong here."

"Hm? What's that, Akira-san?" asked Shirou, and she frowned slightly at the use of an honorific.

"We're leaving now. This feels like a trap of some sort. We'll turn back now." With that, she began on her way back towards the gates.

"What?" Shirazu, delayed in the turnaround, jogged to keep up with her determined stride, Shirou moving to play along with their game of follow the leader. "What if Light's around, though? Like, he could still be here…!"

"That doesn't matter anymore. If he set this up, then he can fend for himself just fine," she answered coldly.

"What if he was captured?" argued Shirou, walking alongside Akira and Shirazu with a frustrated gait. "He could be being held hostage right now…"

"I doubt it, Shirou."

"But even if it is a trap, we might be able to figure out what happened—he _could_ still be alive."

"I'm not too sure on that, Shirou."

"I know that maybe he isn't the _best_ of people…"

"Shirou."

"…but if we can save even _one person_ in this game, instead of letting them die…"

" _Shirou._ "

He looked at her with fiery eyes, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Hypothetically, if it were to be true that Light was taken in by someone else," she said, "then it's more likely that he's already dead. Logically speaking, staying here puts the four of us in danger. Instead of saving one, you sacrifice more than that single person. There is no reason for us to risk that." All through this, she had continued walking on firmly, her heeled shoes still somehow holding up well in this place.

Shirou bowed his head, silent. "…You're right," he agreed eventually.

Disconnected from the other three, Shintaro stood in the center of the dirt path, looking ahead in further into the graveyard. The others were far behind him now, but he could still hear them pretty clear if he were to pay attention. Two gravestones ahead, something glimmered and caught his eye. Some unseen force drew the teen forward, and he bent to pick the object up. Much to his fear, enmeshed with sorrow, he discovered that what he'd picked up was Light's watch, lying discarded in the grass. The second hand had stopped ticking; it had stopped telling time after 3:12 that morning.

Shintaro felt that his mouth was dry. _What happened to Light?_ he wondered, his chest seizing in discomfort. _Was he killed after all? But… by who?_

"Shintaro!" called Shirou, and the hikkiNEET jumped, whirling around to see that the others were far ahead of him. "I don't want you left behind; come on!"

"I'll carry you if I gotta!" added Shirazu, and Shintaro blinked.

Behind him, he heard the soft giggling of a child, and he was sure that his heart had stopped in his chest. Well, there was his cue. With that, he broke into a run, going as fast as his shut-in legs could carry him. He glanced back once to see a tiny figure sitting atop a stone mausoleum. A spear of terror pierced him, and he ran faster.

The others were waiting for him at the gate. Upon their leave of the graveyard, Shintaro felt relief wash over him. He quickly closed the gate behind them, gasping for air. He ignored Shirazu's questioning and Shirou's sheepish laughter.

"It's okay," Shirazu eventually conceded. "Graveyards _are_ pretty creepy. Uh, kinda, anyway."

"Th-that wasn't funny, not fun… Please tell me… that one of you—heard that too…"

"Heard what, Shintaro?" asked Akira seriously. Shirou and Shirazu gave him curious looks, on which Shintaro shook his head, throwing his hands into the air.

"No way. I'm not doing this. Let's go. Let's just go."

Shirazu and Shirou looked at one another while Akira closed her eyes and sighed. Shirazu and Shirou just shrugged. The four of them continued on.

* * *

Atop the mausoleum, Anna kicked her dangling feet back and forth, her palms pressed to the stone ledge. Her head was tilted, her eyes thoughtful and distant. She watched as Shintaro rushed away. "Huh. I wonder… if the wimpy Shintaro could manage to give me a piggy-back ride," she remarked. She began to laugh again as he rushed out the gates. "Shintaro… he's funny. I like Shintaro. He is, good. Just needs to work out – train or something." The lone girl burst into giggles at the thought. "I wanna say hi, but I shouldn't mess anything up anymore." Closing her eyes, she listened to the distant clinking of the closing gates. "Even if… I kinda want to."

Below her, the golden rays of morning light broke from the horizon, shining on the gravestones below and on the mausoleum she sat upon. The sun made her light brown hair look blond. "It's no fair… I'm bored. I want to play too…" She brought her feet up onto the ledge, curling her knees to her chin and hugging her legs to her torso. "…Oh well…"


	14. Birds of a Feather

**Sorry for the day-late update, everyone - I hope you enjoy~**

* * *

Yato's wounds were gradually healing. He thought that perhaps the healing process was slower than it was at the beginning of the game, but he ignored this and continued, awaiting the time at which he would be able to fight again with confidence. If he could hang back long enough for the worst injuries to heal well enough, then he could do what he needed to do.

They were coming up on another group, this one with less people. It was a bit farther out from the rest of the players, but at this point it was perfect to lead Seidou along this way… Seeing as they were heading east, he may be able to take refuge in the thicker woods of the eastern edge of the playing field. From what he remembered, Kaneki had mentioned there being a little house somewhere in there where his group had started. If Yato was right, no one was in that direction. Maybe he could rest there, even if it was only for a little bit. For now, that group nearby would be a great new distraction for Seidou, if he was still tailing them. Unfortunately, he hadn't managed much in the group Yato had led him to last time… Then again, it was a pretty hefty conglomerate. But couldn't they at least have killed Seidou…?

Whatever.

At the very least, it seemed like Seidou was quickly wearing himself out now… Not to mention he didn't seem to tend to his own wounds, meaning he was liable to run himself down to the point of getting himself easily killed. Maybe he'd be weak enough for Yato to take down without much risk. If he reached that point, well, Yato's greatest concern would end up being Kuroha's new vessel.

 _I can't just let my guard down, either. There are others that could have greater potential than I give them credit for. The white-haired kid with the scythe… he's very impressive with that weapon. The shirtless one with the blood-blades does have something going for him, seeing as he did manage to cut me once. That little girl has a goddess on her side, although she doesn't seem very strong anyway… There is the black biker who killed Hiyori…_ His thoughts faltered, his fists clenching and unclenching. _There_ is _Izaya, knowing that he has the weapon that ended Yukine…_ He remembered when he'd first made his decision to use Nora, and how he had clashed blades with Izaya. He'd never seen that damned informant move so fast, with such… such _motive._ When they'd met eyes for that split second before the force of Yato's strike blew him backwards, the god saw in Izaya's intense expression, his gritted teeth and narrowed eyes… His red-brown gaze was piercing, smoldering in the sharp light of indignant determination. It was a look filled with raw emotion; something that Izaya typically would never show, if he were even capable of such a thing. No… it was an expression that was far too… _human_ for such a person as he.

Oddly, it only served to heighten Yato's bitter distaste of him. The blood running through him was hot. He wanted him dead; him and the biker both. He very much wanted them dead.

 _I'll take my time with those,_ he reminded himself, and took a deep breath as he moved briskly forward. They were gradually coming up on the area north of where Yukine had died. Where Shizuo had died. Psyche; Tsuki. He felt a hollow sort of ice settling in his insides. He decided to return to the contemplation of possible threats.

… _Kuroha's former vessel, the android, is still very strong, I'm sure. I haven't paid him much thought, but he held his own alright when I last confronted those groups… Kaneki has a lot to go on as long as he's thinking clearly, and as long as he doesn't hold back. If he still considers me as someone he shouldn't fight full-force, then he'll be far easier to defeat…_

They'd skirted well around the group south of them now and were approaching the forest slowly but surely. The dirt road that divided the lower half of the playing field was behind them now. Nora, walking contentedly alongside him, watched his stone expression with warmth. That cold nothingness in his eyes… The sharpness. Like icicles, shining blue. Those were the eyes she missed; this was the Yato she wanted back.

Then, Yato stopped. Just, stopped walking. Nora looked at him, tilting her head and smiling. " _Hiki_ ," he said lowly, and she became his weapon in a flash. Something wasn't right.

The god turned around to discover a figure descending from the sky with their arms and legs outstretched as though they were going to land on all fours. Yato was already prepared to strike them away with his sword, but the assailant went for Nora with appendages of red, leaving Yato incapable of finishing his swing as the half-ghoul Kaneki came down on him.

 _Where? Why? Kaneki—?_

The god knocked him back with a powerful kick, making the white-haired boy skid backwards a few paces. He'd successfully freed himself and Nora from Kaneki and his kagune. Yato could see him better at this angle, in the light of the rising sun. Blood ran down his face and into his ghoul eye. His dull, mismatched eyes widened and glimmered with an off spark as he pressed his thumb to his index finger, cracking it without expression before moving quickly around Yato and grabbing him from behind. The god froze as he was. Leaning his pale head forward so his face was beside Yato's ear, Kaneki began to laugh. The god could sense the sugary bloodlust curling the ghoul's mouth, and his eyes narrowed. He couldn't argue with the ambush; he'd done the same to Kaneki's group just the day before. No, there was no time to wonder about Kaneki's intent or purpose for confronting him in this way. Instead, he simply needed to process that Kaneki was trying to either incapacitate or kill him, and neither was desirable.

Yato's grip tightened on Nora's hilt, preparing to counter whatever Kaneki had in store. " **Allow me,** " Kaneki said sweetly, " **to gently scramble your insides.** "

* * *

The outliers' group of Shinichi, Hide, Senji, and Rin made their way further east, though Shinichi guided them away from the south. Despite the half-parasite's efforts, they did come across an area spattered with old blood. Shinichi halted. _Ah… Not far enough north, it seems… I didn't realize how close we were…_

"Damn, what happened here?" inquired Senji, approaching the spray of red on the ground and the trees that was once Sebastian Michaelis. Looking down, Shinichi scanned the area to see if he could find anything resembling Migi. There was nothing.

"Maybe we just shouldn't disturb this place," suggested Hide.

"Yes," Shinichi agreed lowly, and turned sharply south without any other explanation. Expression blank, he walked down to the edge of the rocky and upturned ground, where the snake demon had demolished the earth. Laid out were four bodies, lying all in a row at rest. He looked with distantly sorrowful eyes at the bespectacled boy with the scarf adorning his neck. The other three slowed down once they could see that he was leading them towards a set of the fallen. Rin brought her hands together before her, averting her gaze. Hide looked right down at them, brow furrowing in mixed emotion. Fear. Sorrow. Regret that he didn't know any of them, and couldn't therefore properly mourn them. Senji's expression as he looked down on them was dull and empty.

"Pardon me," Shinichi said, kneeling before the four fallen and bowing low to the ground in respect. _The friend of the boy with the machine gun… To think, Sebastian killed him. I'm sorry…_

 _For what purpose did these people die? Is it that all of just want to survive? So then… isn't it just pointless bloodshed? All of us just want to live. Why can't we all just—live?_

When Shinichi raised his head, he came to find that his new group members had all bowed low, although still standing. A vague smile touching his lips, he got to his feet, and they straightened again, Senji rather sheepish about the whole thing.

"Did you work with them?" asked Rin quietly.

"Ah…" Shinichi shook his head. "No… On the contrary, they were enemies… I guess."

"I see," she said shortly, distractedly. Her bright blue eyes did not make contact with his, which was just as well.

"I hate to break up this kinda important thing," said Senji awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his head, "…but um, do you guys hear that?"

"Huh?" Hide perked up as everyone pricked their ears, suddenly on-guard.

"Sounds like a fight's going on…," said Rin, eyes narrowing.

"Maybe we can help," said Shinichi, and Senji cut him off with a low, "Wait." The partial-parasite looked at him, bemused.

" _You're_ the one that's always going on about how _badly_ you want to get into another fight, Senji," huffed Rin, crossing her arms over her chest. (Carefully, mind you – her right arm was still mildly mutilated from the machine gun attack from Roppi.)

"No, but what's _that?_ " asked Senji, pointing off to where the residential houses by the dirt road were situated. They hadn't set out too long ago, seeing as it was still early morning. Thus, the houses weren't all too far behind them.

"Something… is on top of the house, there?" tried Hide, squinting.

"Yeah, looks like it," Senji agreed.

The watcher, just a shadowy figure from here, jumped down from the roof. The four leaned in, watching in apprehension for what this person might do. Leave? Observe? Attack?

"Maybe he wants to invite us for lunch," suggested Hide brightly, and with a swaying start, the figure began to get steadily larger. Shinichi could hear feet pounding on the ground in the distance – already it wasn't so far away anymore.

"He's fast," Shinichi frowned, taking a step forward.

"Sorry, Hide, but this guy doesn't seem so friendly," Senji smirked, lowering his center of gravity and crossing his hands over one another in front of him. On either of his thumbs, he had serrated silver rings. These were what he used to quickly draw blood to use his Crow Claws. (Plus, it just looked badass.) "Head to the woods, guys, and get away from here. I wanna see if I can't stop him. I can at least slow him down. I've been wanting a proper game to play, here…"

"Let me help," Shinichi said firmly, but Senji only cut him off.

" _Kid,_ don't underestimate me." He looked back at Shinichi with a single narrowed eye.

"That wasn't what I…"

"Look, you've got a really shitty complex going on. How old are you?"

Shinichi blinked bemusedly.

"What does his age have to do with it?" Rin frowned.

"Just tell me. You look like a teenager, or something."

"Uh, yeah… Eighteen."

"Nineteen!" Hide piped up, and held up his hand for a high-five. Shinichi blankly high-fived him, on which Rin rolled her eyes. "Beat ya!"

"Look, my point is that you're just a kid," said Senji. "All of you are. Keep in mind that all of _you_ guys are teens, and _I'm_ closer to thirty than I am to twenty. So." He looked at Shinichi seriously. "You've been leading us along, helping us figure shit out here. Thanks—we were kinda stuck there without anyone who knew what was happening. But even if you're here… even if you've gone to hell and back _beforehand_ ; I could care less. _You're a kid._ Stop taking on the fucking world already—that's what adults are supposed to do! You don't _have_ to go on and take responsibility for _every goddamn thing_ , okay?! Fucking make it out of this shit! You don't have to be the one protecting everyone else – let me fucking protect you! _Got it?_ "

Shinichi was frozen, unsure of how to answer such a speech. "…I…"

"When it comes down to it, what I'm really asking—" – he swiftly spread his arms apart, splitting his skin and creating his Crow Claw blades from the red that flowed – "…is for you to let me have one cool scene for myself." A horrible smirk twisted his mouth, and the white-haired black-cloaked half-ghoul that was charging for them arrived in all his cannibalistic glory. Just as he was within arm's reach of Senji, the Deadman swiped downwards at the half-ghoul, slicing neatly and cleanly.

The Owl – that is, Seidou – staggered backwards, stopped in his tracks. Senji's distorted smirk spread wider, his single eye widening in pleasurable satisfaction. A thin line of red swelled from Seidou's middle; he'd been divided neatly in half.

" _Dead center,_ " Senji said lowly, pleased with himself. As always, his aim was perfect. "Agh… But, that was so _boring_."

Seidou was frozen as he staggered backwards to a stop, staring up the sky.

Rin remarked, "Huh."

As Senji rubbed at the back of his head, his blades dissipating, Seidou's injury seemed to collapse, being sewn back together within a few seconds. Seidou smacked his un-split lips thoughtfully as the four stared in growing terror.

"He has regenerative capabilities," Rin said shortly, urgently.

At the same time, Shinichi whispered, "He can heal."

Senji blinked at his opponent as the Owl smiled hollowly at him, tittering in amusement at their shock. "Well, shit."

* * *

It was in the factory he'd torn apart from the inside. Upon waking to the light of dawn, Seidou had opened his eyes to rubble that he knew was the result of his own hands. He was in a pile of broken monochrome. "Maybe I'm colorblind," he commented oddly, his first remark of the morning. _Or maybe my heart's been bleached._ He rose from his nest, brushing dust off of himself. He rubbed at his right eye, stained with blood. Stumbling forward, he began wandering his way around the factory again. " **…Wring me out, hang me up, out to dry, dry, dry. Drain me out, hang, hanging out with myself out here.** " He paused, feeling a retching sensation that originated in his gut. He found himself choking and heaving, kneeling back on the messy ground again. With his pale hand to his mouth, he discovered upon his conclusion of the bothersome cough that he'd regurgitated blood. _That's mine,_ he thought in recognition. _That's my blood._

He looked down at himself, putting a hand to his abdomen. " **Skewer.** " _I want Yakitori._ " **Maybe, get a splintered bone, yeah. Stab a few pieces of people. The cowards, yeah. Chicken Yakitori. Perfect. Yum.** " Tittering to himself, he jumped on a loose piece of concrete and rode it down a pile of debris, letting out a joyous cry as he did so. _If I were to kill everyone else in this game, if I win, can I do what I want? Can they get rid of this damned cage?_

 _Even better, if I win, then_ I win. " **I win, I** _ **win,**_ **I'll win, win, win~ No, I won't have seconds, thank you, not that I'm full. Bwahaha.** " He laughed to himself, then paused when something caught his eye, flickering in his peripheral vision.

Stopping abruptly, he looked at the intrusive object, pulsing with an invasive purple glow. His eyes narrowed as he changed direction and approached the pillar. _An items pillar?_ He looked down at it in distaste as it flickered to life despite it being lopsided, have fallen from the second story.

The silhouette greeted him warmly as always. " _Congratulations, Seidou Takizawa, you've found an items module!_ " it said cheerily, and Seidou's lip curled in deep annoyance. " _You are permitted either a question or the selection of your item!_ " Despite Seidou's great levels of displeasure at the current situation, he looked down at the glitchy selection screen. His name was the only one lit up. Looking at the other names – Shintaro, Roppi, Tsuki – he only grew more discontented.

Beside his name, awaiting him, was the item Regeneration. He thought of the blood he'd just spat into his hand. _If I'm not careful, I could die. Just 'cause it doesn't hurt doesn't mean it won't kill me. Ah. What do I care if I die? I mean, I could win. And being this slow is getting troublesome._ He was biting absently at his index finger as he pondered this. " **Whatever,** " he said eventually, jabbing a finger at the button. He was swept with blank white. He could feel his body mending itself. He could hear the Voice's delighted applause. He looked down at himself curiously as the light subsided. " **…Huh.** " _It fixed the cloak too._

" _Your regenerative abilities are now relieved of their limitations, for now,_ " the silhouette explained to him brightly, and he stared at the figure of purple-fringed static without expression. " _The limitations will recur after six hours. Until then, you have every ability to heal, so long as you're well-fed._ " It paused, then laughed. " _I don't think you'll have a problem with that one. Have fun, little Owl~_ " And with that, the silhouette glitched out of existence once more.

"… **Little Owl,** " Seidou had echoed with distaste. He turned sharply to leave the factory. " **Cute.** "

* * *

"Guys, get outta here," said Senji. "I'll catch up if I beat him."

"You're seriously going to do that?" Rin cried, and Senji laughed.

"Take care of the girl, guys! Looks like I can have fun here after all!" Pausing, he pulled something from his pocket, keeping an eye on Seidou the whole time. "Oi, Rin!" He held up a small coin to his side so the others could see it. Rin, Shinichi, and Hide all stared perplexedly. "See this coin? If it lands heads up, I'll be fine! So when you catch it, if I win, you guys go on ahead, okay?"

"You don't seriously _believe_ in that stuff, do you?!" Rin protested, but he flipped the coin anyway. Seeing that she was too bothered by such a ridiculous way to go about things, Hide caught it in the palm of his hand instead.

"Well, it's heads," commented Hide, blinking at the coin in his hand. There was a salamander engraved in the head of the coin. "Sweet coin."

"Give it back when I catch up!" called Senji, and Hide nodded, saluting him.

"Gotcha!"

With a pained look, Shinichi turned and began leading the others to the woods, Hide assuring Rin, "Hey, hey, he's pretty badass, he'll be fine." Maybe he convinced her to come along, but Hide couldn't help but look back one more time. _Is that really who I think it is…?_

"Just you and I now, ya creep," Senji grinned at Seidou, who was only smiling back. The Deadman dug his fingernails into the veins atop his right hand, slowly generating the long blade known as Invisible Black. "It's time for me to be a hero!"

With a bark of laughter, Seidou attacked. Senji finished his blade just in time, and they clashed in a flash of black and white. Crow versus Owl; crows never _did_ get along well with birds of prey…

" **I** _ **do**_ **like that you let them escape. I do, I do. That's why I won't kill them first. Why I didn't do anything.** "

"You like that, huh? It's just my responsibility, you know?"

" **If this is false heroism, I don't want to hear it,** " Seidou scoffed bitterly, and Senji laughed.

"Do you know what a hero _is?_ "

Senji sliced Seidou's hand clean off only for it to reattach midair.

" **What does it matter?** " Seidou responded with a sneer.

"Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway," Crow smirked right back. "Because I wanna have a cool speech while we fight."

Owl laughed derisively.

"When you're young, you're supposed to have someone you rely on. Right? You can pretend you're a great help to them, your idol, the person you want to make proud." Senji paused as he was kicked in the face. Wiping his mouth with a grin, he continued: " _That_ is a hero. This person, whoever it is. Your 'hero.' Your ' _adult._ ' The coolest person you've ever known."

" **I don't want to hear your blathering,** " Seidou scowled. " **Be quiet.** "

"The truth is, when you're a kid, you have a hero that you can rely on, but when you grow up, at some point, you're not going to have them around anymore. No matter when that is… Whether you still need them or not, they're gone, just like that."

" **Stop it.** " A growling protest.

"And from there, I guess you're supposed to become the next person's hero. You're supposed to grow up. You're supposed to take care of someone else, in return for having been taken care of. That's being an adult, isn't it? Isn't that being a hero? For someone to rely on you; that's to be a hero. For someone to be _able_ to rely on you… _that's_ to be heroic." Brandishing his blade, he struck again with a flourish. "I'm not gonna let those kids down! I want a moment of being cool too, y'know? Even if ya kill me, I'll have died a hero, right? So I don't mind it one bit!"

" **That's bullshit,** " Seidou spat, breaking Senji's left arm with a swift kick downward. He'd been aiming for the right arm, the one with the blade… but he'd moved in time. For a supposed 'human,' he was incredibly fast. His left arm hanging limply at his side, Senji smiled at Seidou with one squinting, determined eye, burning with an earnest fire. " **Your speech is bullshit. What of those who have no hero?** _ **What if your hero is a piece of shit who leaves you behind in Hell? HUH?!**_ " At this poisonous yell, he jabbed his fist into Senji's well-muscled gut, sending him flying backwards. He landed hard on the sharp rocks of the earthquake from once upon a time, when Kuroha was possessing an android and Seidou was still human. " _ **What if you can't rely on your hero, huh? What if they. Just. LEAVE?**_ "

Senji choked up red, wiping at his mouth carefully as he staggered to his feet. "You can't go on and tell me that they weren't your hero at some point. Otherwise you wouldn't be so pissed. Trust me, I was pissed too, when my hero died…"

" **HE DIDN'T DIE!** " Seidou snapped harshly. " _ **He… escaped, just like, that, no, that—that…!**_ "

Senji shrugged with his one arm. "Life sucks."

" **You don't—get it, don't—get it, don't get it at** _ **all…**_ "

"Oi, kid," the Deadman frowned. "You think I haven't had my own taste of Hell?"

" **Shut** _ **up…**_ " He was standing stock-still, his hands to his head.

The crow approached him, his blade at the ready. "No, really, now I feel like I should probably be offended, or something. What, just because you can heal fucking anything, it means you can go on like that? I can tell you've gone through some shit, don't get me wrong, but _fuck,_ man, so have other people. That's life!"

" **You don't know… the things that… Those things… What I… did, what** _ **they**_ **, did. To me, or I, to—to—to… too… much, I—can't handle, can't stand, stand it, can't** _ **help**_ **it, I couldn't** _ **help**_ **iiiit…!** " He began to wail, and Senji frowned deeper, ready to strike. Wordlessly, he charged, only to be blown back by the reveal of Seidou's kagune. Upon landing, the Deadman stared in wonder.

"Well goddamn…," Senji breathed. He still felt a smile on his face. _Good to see I'm actually facing a challenge. This'll be interesting._

Shinichi went north upon reaching the woodlands. "Isn't this in the direction of the other fight?" Rin hissed, but Shinichi didn't answer, leading them further north to a curve in the fringes of the trees, curling so that they could see the outcome of Senji's fight, if vaguely. Somewhere behind them, they could hear trees splinter and smash. They were luckily still relatively distant, albeit about the same distance that Senji's battle was to them.

"Rin, watch our backs. I'll watch ahead." Shinichi was very to-the-point, ignoring her irritation towards his sudden authority. Regardless, she obeyed, turning to the north while Shinichi remained facing south.

"Y'know… That guy's definitely from my world," said Hide slowly. Senji's coin was clutched tightly in his hand, digging into his palm. He realized that ever so slightly, he was trembling. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself.

"The one Senji is fighting?" inquired Rin, not turning away from her post.

"Mm," Hide agreed. "He seems like… an artificial ghoul of some sort?"

"Sounds disgusting," she said dismissively.

"No, just… a different species; that's all," Hide said carefully. "It's strange… because, he sounds like someone I work with… Looks like him, too. But…"

"I don't register who he is," Shinichi said coolly. All feeling had shut off for him. "So he may be a new player."

"Was a guy named Seidou Takizawa in-game before?" tried Hide, and Shinichi blinked, recognition flickering in his distant eyes.

"Ah… he does look like him… huh…?"

"So you know him?" asked Hide, perking up. _Seeing as he didn't recognize him at first, could it be that Takizawa wasn't like this in the beginning of the game? What happened? The game masters do something to him?_

Hide jerked back from his thoughts as Shinichi punched the tree beside him at full force, splintering it just a bit and destroying the bark directly where the contact had occurred.

Rin wheeled around. "What? What was that for?"

"Nothing," Shinichi said lowly. Flatly. "Sorry."

She furrowed her brow. She had nothing to say.

Drawing his lips into a thin line, Hide opened his hand and looked at the coin there. What a cool little knick-knack it was. _He got heads, huh?_ Flipping the coin over, he found that the other side was the exact same salamander. He couldn't help but start laughing.

"What's funny?" Rin asked, sour.

"It's a rigged coin," Hide grinned. "He can't lose. There's only heads."

She turned to look at him with exasperated eyes. "You're kidding me."

Hide shrugged, looking back out to where Senji was fighting. _If that is Takizawa… I wonder if a chat would help him out. I think I'm missing something here, but I'll figure it out anyway… Ah… both of you, I hope you make it out of this…_ Uncomfortably, he rubbed at the back of his head.

In said fight, Senji was slammed backwards by a hit from Seidou's fist right into his chest, yeah, right where Roppi's machine gun had broken his sternum. His breath left him on impact, and his head spun. Knowing that goddamn wing thing was going to shower him with projectiles, he raised his good arm to protect his face, earning crystals in his flesh. His breathing was heavy; his lungs burned. " _Shit_ ," he choked out, holding his chest as he got back up. "No way in hell I'm giving up, ya hear?" he added, pointing at Seidou for emphasis. "No, no way." He took a step forward. Ahead, the half-ghoul was crouched in preparation, his injuries putting themselves back together as though someone had a needle and thread that sewed him right back up with ease. "You think I don't know what Hell's like. I've been there for almost ten years. _Ten years._ You know how bad that sucks?" He took another step. Seidou seemed to hesitate. "Do you know what I used to be? You know where I started from? Hah? You go on shrieking at me when you don't know my story. I can call myself a hero if I want to. _I'm not letting you get to my team. And that's that._ "

Senji charged again, ignoring the burning in his lungs; ignoring the pain in his arm as he put it to use without warning, taking Seidou off-guard and punching him square in the face. It really fucking hurt to use his broken arm—probably hurt Senji worse than it did Seidou's face, but god damn it, it was worth it to punch this fucker.

"Honestly, you just look like an asshole to me. You know—the kind that kills heroes."

" **Shut up about heroes, would you?** " Seidou growled, and Senji smirked.

"Yeah, sure. Instead I'll talk about Hell. Care to chat? I'll share a secret with ya."

" **Share—secrets,** " Seidou repeated, his expression frozen in a scowl-grimace.

"Look, I used to be a cop. Can you believe it? I was a police officer! I worked my ass off doing everything I could to be the best. Do you know what I do now? I'm in prison! Do you know _why_ I'm in prison?"

Seidou was bristling, his throat rumbling in rejection of Senji's tale.

" _I didn't even do anything!_ And that's not even the funniest part! No, now I'm just part of some _fucking_ stage show – Cannibal Corpse. We're trained to _fight like dogs,_ you hear?! All we are to the people who fucking _stole us_ from the outside world are _experiments_ used for the end of some stupid-ass master plan that _none of us_ have any idea about anyway!" Senji's good arm was crawling with black, creating a pattern over his skin not unlike ebony fire. It continued up his neck. To his cheeks, adorning his face with dark bloody glory in the form of swirling patterns of black. "Don't get me wrong," he grinned as this process began, eye narrowing. "I loved it there. And all that… All that's why I'm not gonna go and let myself get killed in a game like this. _I've got a will to fucking live, damn it! You won't break me down!_ "

Face distorted, Seidou pounced at him. Senji bore dual blades now, disregarding the brokenness of his arm in its entirety as he diced Seidou to bits, cleanly parting him from an arm and a leg. Owl landed on his good leg and, as his other began to reattach, swung the other at Senji only for the crow to pin his departed leg to the ground with his blade. Seidou's good hand was at Senji's throat now, gripping tightly. Senji was looking into his face to find that one eye was rolling in its socket, the other boring into him, glowing crimson with the sclera painted inky black. Time froze.

" ** _Shut up already_** **.** "

Lifting the hand gripping Senji's throat, Seidou shoved his now-regenerated hand into Senji's abdomen as the crow sliced at the owl's chest.

Jumping, Seidou spun around and kicked his attached foot at Senji's upper torso, consequently yanking his hand out of the Deadman's gut and dropping him to the ground. Seidou was on him in an instant, his leg reattaching at last. " **Can't, hurt me. Don't hurt, no more.** " His speech was broken. " **You smell—of sweets, very good, but I know this smell—like sour candy, yeah, I found one, like that. Ah.** " Grimacing beneath Seidou, Senji choked on the blood coming up in his esophagus. Seidou's ghoul eye narrowed at him, the other lost in some impenetrable daze. " **Let's say you're right, and I have a hero. Had a hero. Let's say you're like them, or like me. Let's say that. Okay?** "

"If it makes ya feel good," Senji rasped, and Seidou looked down at him without expression, his fingers tightening around his neck. He'd already brought his free arm up upon his back smashing into the ground, Owl atop him. His blade was going straight through Seidou, and he wasn't moving yet. Maybe if he kept it there, it wouldn't heal, or something. Mind you, in stabbing Seidou, who was atop him, with the long blade of his subconsciously evolved Crow Claw… In stabbing him, Senji had also gotten himself in the side. They were both stabbed through with the same blade. Skewered together, if you will.

" **You know what I think of that person now? You know what I really, truly feel about that person today?** "

"What's—that?" Senji squinted at him through his grimace, looking for perhaps just a glimmer of reason.

" **I HATE him,** " Seidou said simply, and tore Senji's head from his neck with ease, spraying the red above his body, which seized and was still. The blood-blades began to slowly disintegrate.

" **Ah,** " Seidou remarked, holding the head up and gazing at the decapitated cranium with stale joy. " **It still came off easy, like… like a freshly picked pineapple… huh?** " He tilted his head to the side. " **Don't… worry. I, can be a hero, too… if I, really want. Right?** "


	15. Purge

Yato was embedded in the ground by Kaneki, teeth gritted and eyes flashing blue. Nora was straining herself going against Kaneki's kagune. The half-ghoul sure wasn't holding back. _When I last saw him, he was nowhere near this bad,_ thought the God of Calamity, envisioning any possible way of getting out of this mess while Kaneki landed heavily atop him with eyes wild, human eye completely blank white. _He might've been this bad fighting Seidou… but… at what point did he…?_

 _I'm not strong enough for this fight. Not right now. I've been able to dodge up until this point, but I really need to flee… I'd have tried to manipulate my way around this, but… ah, is a conversation doable?_

" **To live,** " said Kaneki through bared teeth, " **…is to _eat_.** "

Nora was practically vibrating in Yato's hand out of outrage.

" **Strong devour weak. You, weak. You do nothing; take, take, take. To eat, to steal. Evil. Like _me_.** " He licked his lips in anticipation, then bit out, " **Guess I'm hungry again. Huh?~** "

The god abruptly brought his legs up with all the force he could muster, sending Kaneki tumbling over his head, somersaulting above him somewhere. His kagune lashed at him in sudden rage, and Yato rolled over as quickly as possible, jumping to his feet and backing up, gaining a bit of distance. His breathing was heavy. _This is a really bad situation. I could die here, easy…_

"Hey, Kaneki, I have to ask…," Yato began slowly, carefully eyeing the half-ghoul in case he decided to pounce. "I know I up and attacked you and your group. I can understand my own motives, because they're my own. Are you simply responding in kind? Or is there another purpose to your attack?"

Kaneki straightened, tilting his head and quirking an eyebrow questioningly. " **Agh… something like that… If I were to say something like 'justice,' it would just be a lie. Because you killed Saiko? Because you attacked 'my group'? They're great excuses, if we're talking morality. But on the high road, wouldn't I also spare you, who are handicapped with your deep wounds? Wouldn't I spare you for having been my ally at one time? Wouldn't I, for the sake of trying to save you?** "

Yato was dumbfounded. He knew not the basis of 'morals.' If Yato were Kaneki, he would have killed this asshole god for betraying him, plain and simple. "I… guess so."

" **Then logically speaking, I guess the right answer would be, 'I am trying to catch you while you're weak. You, who are now a threat to everyone else, need to be disposed of.' This is true, but under logic's standpoint, wouldn't I be doing the exact same thing as you, taking advantage of your weakness and killing you while you're down? That nullifies the very logic I'd be following, wouldn't it? So then, why attack when I could use tactical incapacitation? For convenience's sake? Maybe.** " Kaneki laughed, and Yato narrowed his luminescent eyes. " **No, the truth isn't** _ **really**_ **any of that. Maybe I want you gone because you're nothing but a rotten coffee bean that needs to be disposed of, but that also means I'm rotten, right? Right? I'd say so. But actually, even if I say I want to protect everyone else by killing you… Even if I say I'm fighting out of passionate rage because you hurt a 'friend'… Even if I say I'm fighting to help others… Really, it's none of that.** "

"Then… what is it?" asked Yato cautiously, his knuckles white as his grip tightened on the wooden hilt.

Kaneki gave an eerie smile, his eyes wide with manic glee. " **It's all part of a show. Do I really want to save** _ **everyone?**_ **No. I want to destroy trash like you. You disgust me – I'm sick of pretending to care about everyone. Is it that I've done all I have for the sake of others—is it that I'm selfless? Absolutely not. Every single time, I was hoping for my opponent to kill me. I'd rather wear myself down and die, leaving everyone behind to mourn my fate… as long as it meant I didn't lose any of them first. Is it that I wanted to protect others, at that time? No, I just feared being alone. It really isn't so bad, though, is it, o God of Calamity? Surely you know the hollow taste of loneliness, Yato-sama. You, a god who only steals…** " Yato clicked his tongue in irritation, taking a step back. " **Ah… I wonder, then, about your creator… You know?** " He laughed a bit. " **You seemed so different before, huh? But imagine the tale of a son disgusted by his parent's depravity… Imagine the moment he realizes the same cruel impulses are budding within himself. It's a cycle, you know… Yato.** " Kaneki took a step forward, glowing in cruel mirth. " **Why did I fight you?** " He spread his arms; his black-nailed hands. " **Because I wanted to. Because it feels good. Because I love the feel of fighting; because you taste great. Because if I beat you, eat you; if you're defeated by my hand, that makes me** _ **stronger**_ **, right? Because you _hurt_ me, and I'm sick of getting stepped on. Because I know that you are weak, and because you are weak, I have **_**every right**_ **to devour you. That's why.** " He tilted his head, cracking his knuckle using his thumb. " **Make sense?** "

"I guess that means this is unnegotiable, huh?" Yato smirked coldly, and Kaneki was suddenly before him, his kagune clashing with Nora full-force.

" **Correct,** " the half-ghoul grinned, deranged.

The repetitive contact between kagune and Shinki was jarring and painful. _Hang in there, Hiiro…!_

Just as Yato had jumped backwards in an attempt to regain some distance; just as Kaneki was about to impale him with his kagune, he was sure; just as Yato braced himself for the worst and held Nora before him in defensive position… Kaneki froze. Yato felt time stop, his heart jolting in confused fear. _Why isn't he moving?_

The god listened: to the south, he heard the sounds of a fight. _That must be Seidou… At least that went right._

Kaneki was frozen in place, his gaze turned sharply to where the sound was coming from. His eyes were quivering. Yato could see him trembling as though something within him was fighting to escape.

 _He's distracted,_ thought Yato, shrinking further into defense. _Do I strike him now, or hightail it out of here…?_

Kaneki couldn't return to reality. He was captured by something familiar, and it was terrifying. _That…_ he thought, _sounded_ _like…_

By the time Kaneki would so much as spare a glance back at Yato, the god was gone.

* * *

Seidou had made a beeline for the three he knew were hiding in the trees soon after he'd decapitated Senji. By 'soon after,' of course, it is meant that Seidou had to have a bit of a sour snack before he went about to find more toys to tear into. As it turned out, Shinichi was ready and waiting for him, his face a mask of rage as he charged from the trees and at the half-ghoul without any forethought put into his attack. Seidou, pleased with the welcome, dodged from one of his punches, his fist _fwoosh_ ing past Owl's ear.

" _Shinichi_ , what are you _thinking?!_ " Rin protested from the trees. "We could have _retreated!_ "

"No! I hate this! I'm not running off anymore!"

Hide stared at the fight, expressionless. His eyes shone with the calculations of every inference and possible action to take from here.

Having fun with the game, Seidou continued to dance around Shinichi's physical attacks. " **You're pretty fast after all~** " he complimented delightedly.

"Another dead," Shinichi said lowly. "And _why? Why do we keep killing people, huh?!_ "

Seidou finally gave a swipe at him, and Shinichi bound into the air, high above the half-ghoul. Staring upwards in awe, Seidou made an _ooo_ sound. " **I forgot, little you can jump pretty high, too.** " He laughed a snide laugh. " **Fun!** "

Shinichi cut off his mirth with a kick to the back that Seidou answered with the gripping of Shinichi's ankle, swinging him overhead and slamming him to the ground.

" _Quit it!_ " called Hide, standing beside Rin, who was outstretching her injured arm, stabilizing it with her other in preparation to shoot curses Seidou's way. "Damn, is that any way to greet a friend?"

Seidou poked his head back up, staring blankly in Hide's direction.

"Do ya remember me, man?" Hide asked, friendly as ever. Was he frightened? Oh, absolutely. He laughed lightly as he approached Seidou, who had his foot pressed to Shinichi's back. His gut was telling him he was a dumbass, and he could feel his blood running with static. Depending on how he approached this, it could become a miracle or a tragedy. _I'll be the Miracle Man; let's go!_

"I _could_ be mistaken, which would be _über_ awkward, but… you _are_ Takizawa, right?"

Slowly, Seidou tilted his head. " **Naga…c** hika, kun," he said haltingly, and Hide beamed at him.

"Yeah, that's me! You've got it! To think, ya almost didn't say hi! It's been forever, man. I like the new getup you've got going on. Starting a new fashion movement?"

Seidou blinked.

"I see you're not wearing shoes," Hide analyzed, hand to his chin as he squinted his eyes to the point of being nearly shut. "Hmm… I hate shoes too!" And with that, he swiftly took off his dress shoes. "I dig it." He looked at Seidou once more, hands on his hips. "So! Been awhile since we've chilled, huh? Maybe we can have a chat?"

Seidou flinched.

Shinichi, still on the ground, watched Hide with a mix of fear and pain. Rin, amongst the trees, slowly lowered her arm, though still on guard. _I hate alliances… Having to worry about others like this; it's inconvenient…_ She let out a _tch_ from her clenched teeth. _Although, going out and risking his life like this… Trying to save that white-haired creep… It reminds of my partner… Shirou._ She squeezed her eyes shut, cooling her mind. _Hide, don't die here… Senji… He…_ She drew her lips together, unwilling to accept the fact she was upset. _You idiots…!_

"I get it; I get it…," said the human Hide, shrugging nonchalantly. "Yeah, I'm missing a lot, here, but that just means we've got a lot to catch up on, huh?" He spread his arms. "I've got loads of time."

Seidou stared at him for a few moments, lips parted slightly. His teeth were stained red. " _We… share, lunch… back then._ "

"Yeah, like that!" he beamed back. "I can try 'n make ya some coffee, if ya want. I'm not too well-versed in coffee brewery, but hey, I'll give it a go to hang out."

" _Share…?_ " He looked down at Shinichi, then back at Hide. Down. Back up again." **Ah!** " In flash of joyous enlightenment, Seidou reached down and took hold of Shinichi's right arm.

"Hey, Takizawa… That's not…"

Pulling upwards, Shinichi's right arm was broken easily with a _snap_. Hide winced. Shinichi cried out in pain. Using his foot to keep Shinichi down, Seidou pulled the lower arm apart, detaching it at the elbow. In a happy, homey show, he lifted it with a spatter of red. Seidou's brow was creased, his smile wide but strained. " _You wanna, share lunch?_ " His eyes widened. " _Hah? Nag_ **achika-kuuun, you want some? Want some?** "

"Ah, uh, no thanks…," Hide answered apologetically, holding up his hands in something like peace. "I'm… not into…" He paused. He really needed to word this right. "People just aren't my shtick when it comes to food…"

Seidou paused. He looked at the arm in his hand, then smiled hollowly. " **Yeahhh, you're right, this smells bitter. Must still got that gross parasite in his blood. Yuck.** " Dismissively, he tossed the appendage to the side. " **Too bad.** " He kicked Shinichi in the side, earning a satisfying snap originating from Shinichi's ribs. " **Nagachika-kun, you sure were a great friend, weren't you? Where'd ya go, huh? I'm sure… that it's true I have** _ **no reason**_ **to be mad at you.** "

"Yeah? That's good," Hide said, and realized his voice was ever so slightly weak. He cleared his throat, going strong. "Did Shinichi here hurt ya? Senji? Something between you guys going on?"

" **Not really,** " Seidou admitted. " **But you sure got some nice meat on your bones~** " Stepping away from Shinichi, the partial parasite immediately rolled over and began to choke, holding his stub arm to his chest and wrapping his good arm around both injuries, gasping for air. " **You're right, Nagachika-kun, you sure have missed a lot. You have** _ **no idea**_ **… what I… have…** "

Hide's eyes grew sad. "You're lost too, huh? Stuck on your own… for how long, I wonder?" He took a step towards Seidou, and the half-ghoul took a step back. Hide scratched at his cheek, looking away. "You don't… have to be alone, you know, Seidou… I want… to help you out."

Seidou stared at him blankly, then narrowed his eyes in angry suspicion. " **Liar. Shut the fuck up with your fake empathy.** "

"Wha?" Hide looked at him in surprise. "No, man, I'm serious."

" **LIAR!** " Seidou sped forward, arm poised to tear into him. Destroy him, this visage of the past, this picture of human life. The picture of what was denied him. How _dare_ he think he could just try and bring it back; think it could all be okay with a cup of coffee and a little chat? How dare he? How _dare_ he?!

Hide had barely any time to react. _I thought I could get through to him,_ he thought with vague sorrow. _Maybe I was wrong._ He was moving to block his face, legs bending to send him into a crouch. He knew he wasn't fast enough to dodge this, but maybe if he braced himself the right way, he'd survive… But the half-ghoul was aiming for his chest, he wanted him dead as quick as possible.

Hide closed his eyes as he prepared for impact. He had the fleeting thought that maybe this was the end. He wanted to apologize, but hadn't the time to even put this realization into words. He felt a gust of wind, and a shadow descended overtop him. Confused, he opened his eyes.

Seidou was just as surprised, having jabbed his pale hand into the grip of Ken Kaneki, standing with wide stance before Hide, his kagune fanned out behind him in a protective shield. It was as though someone had hit the pause button. And… play. Seidou staggeringly pulled from Kaneki's grip, jumping backwards to gain distance. Kaneki's eyes were wide in his own form of astonishment, as though he knew not what he'd just done. Upon Seidou's leave, Kaneki tremored. He seemed near collapse.

 _He sees me. Hide sees me. He sees me. He sees me._ Incapable of comprehending such a terrible thought, he brought his hand to his ghoul eye even though Hide was behind him. _Don't look… Don't, look… I…!_

"Kaneki? That really you?" Hide asked blankly, releasing the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "That… was…"

His kagune began to shrivel, like his insides. _No…_

"…So _freaking cool!_ " Hide cried in delight. "That was great, bud! I always knew you had my back! Thanks, man!"

And with that, Kaneki's legs gave out from beneath him. _What have I been…? How could I… do, that…?_ "Oh, no… I, am so… sorry… I'm sorry…"

"Huh? For what?"

" **So now you're suddenly playing nice again, the moment you see this guy,** " scoffed Seidou. " **Cute. Pretending you've still got proper feelings. How very convenient of you to act 'human' once you see someone that you'd rather not know the truth. Isn't that it? Huh?** "

Kaneki curled forward, trembling as he felt the tears spilling. _No… No… No…_ It was a mental mantra, tearing into himself.

"Hey, look here," frowned Hide. "Just 'cause 'Neki's got a strange way of expressing himself… just because he has trouble with it, doesn't mean he doesn't feel anything at all!" He laughed a bit. " _Trust me_ , I've got my fair share of stories about this guy that proves he's got the full package of something like 'feelings.' If there's _any_ problem, it's that he's got _too much_ empathy. Just because he's changed, Kaneki is still Kaneki! And that's that!"

Seidou glowered at him, eyes burning. He seemed about to erupt with something poisonous, but it was at that point that Shinichi had struggled to his feet, confronting Seidou from behind. " _You thought I was done?_ " he asked lowly, and swiped at him only for Seidou to catch him by the wrist. Expecting this, Shinichi countered back immediately. "You think this is a handicap?" he asked, and barked with laughter. "I'm used to having no control of my right hand!" Shinichi managed to land a punch to Seidou's head, earning much irritation.

" **Annoying,** " he commented.

"No, I'm sick and tired of this 'monster' bullshit! I'm tired of wondering who the hell I am! Emotionless… no! I'm _angry! I'm mad! I'm outraged!_ I want to live, too! I lost control of my life the day I got infected with a parasite, and god _damn_ it, that little guy became my _friend!_ Am I me? Are you you? Is Kaneki Kaneki?! We're all so fucked over; I just—want—it—to— _stop! Stop! End it! End it!_ Everything is gone! It's _gone! What am I supposed to do?! What do I DO?!_ "

Kaneki stared at him in awe, struck with how familiar it all sounded.

" **I don't know; I don't KNOW!** " Seidou shouted back, slamming his foot into his back and sending him back to the ground. Seidou was then consequently shot with a ball of static red. After wheeling around to see the culprit, he found Rin standing there, firmly holding her arm out to aim her curses.

"Leave us alone, already!" she snapped. "It's four against one, you know!"

Seidou's mouth twitched, and Shinichi resumed their dance.

"I don't want to fight…," Kaneki said, looking up at them with a weary, tear-streaked face. "Please, stop… I'm, sorry for… what I… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm…"

The owl burst into laughter. " **Look at all these people; I guess they've got your back, huh? You lucky fucker!** " Spreading his red wings, he bound into the air, speeding around crimson curses that Rin shot after him. Soon enough, the Owl was in the woods, leaving behind turmoil and reunion alike. That wasn't, of course, before he showered them all with crystals that pierced flesh.

"Well, that was… interesting," commented Hide, scratching at his cheek. "In the end, I _am_ glad… I wanted to meet up with you, Kaneki."

Kaneki stared at him with bemused gratefulness. His eyes softened, his ghoul eye fading to its original grey.

"In any case," Hide added as Shinichi joined them slowly, Rin approaching from behind the cheeriest of them. "…It looks like we've all got a lot to catch up on." Grinning wide, it seemed to Kaneki that nothing had really changed about Hide after all. Oddly, he thought that maybe he felt a smile touching his lips.


	16. Familiar

Minene led her makeshift group down as far as the game field would let them, sending them right to one of the two traditional homes in the southernmost portion of the play area. The group of five – Celty, Yukiteru, Akise, Minene, and Rika – took refuge here. Yukiteru, swept up in some sudden depression, up and went to one of the bedrooms without acknowledging the fact that there was an items pillar smack dab in the middle of the living room.

"You think Yukiteru is alright, Akise?" asked Rika softly, and Minene answered before the boy detective could take a breath.

"He's fine. He's just gotta get over himself."

Akise eyed the annoyed terrorist for a moment, watching as she abruptly sat down on the floor, legs criss-cross. "Ah…" He looked at Rika with a reassuring smile. "I'm sure Yukiteru-kun will be fine, Rika-chan."

Celty seemed to be examining the area, but it was hard to tell with that helmet on. [I've never been this far south before.] she commented, and Akise shrugged.

"This place seems to be of good size. Certainly enough room for however many players to move around without running into one another too terribly often… Personally, I showed up in this house, so it's my first impression of the game."

"I like this house better than the rest," said Rika, spreading her arms and breathing deeply. Releasing it in a refreshed sigh, she smiled brightly. "I am more used to this setting, you see… I've never been to a city like the one north of here."

[Really?] asked Celty. [I live in a city, so I can't say that it's all too strange to me.] Pause. [But I find this place to be very cozy. I'm glad we're here for now.]

"Eh, it's just a good place to go," Minene sighed, stretching. "In this game, you can't really stay one place too long or someone'll run into ya eventually. You're right about it being a biggish area, Akise, but if one thing's for sure, it's that no matter what, you're _gonna_ bump into other groups."

Celty hesitated, then typed out, [I have to agree with that.] Pause. [You could almost say that we're not permitted to sit idly. It's not entertainment that way.] … [Not that this is fun at all, but I'm sure that's the way the masters are going about this.]

"I completely agree," said Akise. "Which is why we need to figure out how to work our way around the game masters' traps. I'm actually rather disappointed…"

[What's that?]

"What about, Akise?" asked Rika as she knelt primly beside the casual Minene.

"I very much liked Twelve and Suzuya-kun. It's a shame that we had to part ways… Hm." Putting his hands in his pockets, he smirked. "Oh well… Seems we've lost A-ya, too. I wish I could have gotten to know him better, seeing as Yukiteru-kun was so close to him."

"He's possessed; that's all we've gotta know right now," Minene said dismissively. "Yukki will get over it."

[I'm more bothered by how we split…] Celty tentatively held up her phone, then added, [A-ya, if that's his name, really wanted to break off, but was it because he was possessed?] Tap, tap, tap. [Did he not want to hurt us? Or were we in his way? Is he playing the part of the villain? Or does he think he's saving us, at this point?] Tap, tap, tap. [What if it wasn't even A-ya? It could be that the demon was talking, couldn't it?]

"I don't think it was the demon speaking there, Celty-san," Akise said, a note of apology in his tone.

"I saw how it was when the demon had full control," Rika said seriously, her eyes gaining some maturity though she maintained her childish demeanor. "Most of that there… was A-ya. I do not know whether the demon had influenced him to say those things or not, but it was definitely him who was speaking."

"It is true that he broke off without forcing anyone along," Akise pointed out. "And none of us were killed."

"But Akise," Minene frowned, " _Roy's_ dead."

Akise touched his chin. "I know. But who was the one who killed Roy: A-ya, or the demon?"

"The demon," Rika said immediately.

[Maybe that boy A-ya needs some help after all?]

"Possibly," agreed Akise, closing his eyes. "I'll talk to Yukiteru-kun about it as soon as he comes out of his room. What he decides on A-ya's behalf, I'll trust him."

"I dunno," Minene said doubtfully, "his judgment isn't _always_ so great, Akise. He got caught up with Yuno too, remember? So just because he says that A-ya's pretty damned fantastic, it doesn't mean that he was really all that great a guy. Y'know?"

"Ah, but Minene, I pose this question: if the demon were the one to break off from the group, would we all be alive right now?"

She frowned deeply. "Hell if I know."

"And was it A-ya or the demon that came up with the idea?"

"Damned if I care," she answered stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Oh, alright, Minene," Akise chuckled, eyeing the pulsing purple pillar placed in the center of the room.

Celty seemed to notice his curiosity. [I wonder if it will activate for any of us.]

"You can try, Celty-san," welcomed Akise, gesturing to it. "I tried when I first appeared here, but earned no results."

[Then, where did you get those papers? Izaya mentioned you'd given them to him.]

Akise shrugged. "I figured it was my 'weapon' when Izaya implied that everyone was supposed to have one. They were already in my hands upon my arrival. I have a few other useful trinkets, too, if you remember, Celty," he smiled slyly, and she straightened.

 _Like that bulletproof vest? Why does it seem… that he has multiple 'weapons'? But none of them really seem like weapons at all… They're just… tools? Equipment? Ah…_ As she tried to form a question to type in order to voice these thoughts, Akise spoke up again.

"Speaking of which, Celty-san, I have to wonder. How do you feel about Izaya-san's decision?"

She hesitated. [Well, I'm not surprised.] A pause. Her typing was slower than normal. [But… maybe I am?] Tap, tap, tap. [Was that really the Izaya choice to make, siding with a demon? Or maybe it was A-ya he was siding with? Either way…] Tap, tap, tap. [Obviously he should have another motive of his own. Izaya is Izaya in that way. Right?]

"You're probably right," Akise laughed lightly.

[But truthfully…] Tap, tap, tap. [As strange as it is, I think I'm worried about him.]

"It's not so strange at all, Celty-san," Akise assured her, posture shifting back as he exhaled deeply. "Although, I do have an idea of what I think we should do…"

"Oh yeah?" asked Minene, quirking an eyebrow at him as she smirked.

They were halted by the activation of the items pillar – Minene, Akise, and Rika all turned to find Celty stiffening in surprise as the static silhouette presented itself before her, arms spread wide. " _Congratulations!_ " greeted the voice. " _You've discovered an items pillar!_ " Celty waved her arms around in rejection, backing up quickly.

"I guess it works for you, Celty-san," said Akise, contentedly amused.

"Hah?" Minene got to her feet. "It works for us?"

[I wanted to wait for Yukiteru!] Celty's typing was rushed and upset.

" _Due to special circumstances, Celty is the only survivor from the female game that can utilize these modules. All others from the female games have not been input into the system._ "

"Hey, what's up with that?" Minene protested. Rika was looking up at her with childish joy, almost as though she found her frustration funny or cute.

" _Yukiteru Amano has his own selection screen, as he is the only one originating from Group 3,_ " explained the game master, smile in their tone. " _Even if you use this module, it will still activate upon his approach._ "

Celty began typing, then hesitated. She held up the message, [Can you see my screen to communicate?]

" _That's correct, Celty,_ " they seemed to grin.

[Why is it that I can activate the special items screen?]

" _I think you know the answer to that question._ " Now the grin was visible; a black crescent upturned in all the Voice's pleasure.

Celty paused, her posture erect. _Aureus?_ she thought.

"Wait, what's that?" frowned Minene.

"I'd like to know; that is so~" Rika piped in.

Celty turned her helmet nervously from one to another, her thumb trembling over the keyboard on her phone.

"It could be," pointed out Akise, "that Celty-san can't explain what this is about without consequence."

" _That's correct, Akise,_ " confirmed the Voice, oozing with amusement.

Minene scoffed and sat herself back down with a thump, greatly annoyed.

" _Thank you for your participation!_ " the Voice chirped, and disappeared. A yellow screen was projected before the Dullahan, and Celty touched lightly where her chin would be.

"What is it, Celty?" inquired Rika, staring wide-eyed up at the rider.

She only stepped closer to the screen, looking upon the hologram with apprehension. Her item… it was _Familiar_.

 _Shooter!_ she inwardly exclaimed, bringing both physical and phantom hand to her chest. The urban legend seemed to sparkle in anticipation. Joy. _My horse… could it really be that I can have him at my side, even here…! Oh, I miss him!_ She recalled the conversation she'd had with Aureus:

"Don't you worry, li'l lady," that goofy boy had beamed, holding up two thumbs and waggling them back and forth.

 _Little lady?_ she echoed in her head, straightening in confusion over whether it was a compliment or… well, not.

"I won't hold it against you, not choosing to accept my cool item. I'm a little sore, but…" He'd paused, then grinned, clicking with his tongue. "Whenever you come to one of the item selection things, I'll make sure you've got some sweet items, alright? Maybe they won't be so drastic as the one you get down here, but they'll be a little extra awesome. How's that?"

Cut back to the present, where Celty was overflowing with gratitude. _Thank you, Aureus!_ Tapping quickly, she inquired of the others, [Should I select now, or wait for Yukiteru?]

"Just get your damned item," grumbled Minene, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. She turned her face away from Celty in indignation. "Since you're the only chick veteran that gets an item, might as well put it to use as soon as possible, right?" She swiveled her eye to look at the dark rider, who was shifting from foot to foot in apologetic discomfort. "What is it, anyway?"

[My familiar, Shooter!] Her posture aided the molding of her tone as one of excess excitement. [He's my horse.] Tap-tap-tap. [I've had him for as long as I can remember…]

"Go on ahead, Celty-san," encouraged Akise, nodding at her. "I know Yukiteru-kun will understand."

She nodded her helmet emphatically before pressing the button. A flash of white light enveloped her, blocking visibility until the light died enough for the results to be seen. Celty paused. Before her, there was only the pillar. _Shooter?_ She felt something on her shoulder and jerked her arm forward, startled. _What?_ Clinging with all its tiny might, there was an armadillo fighting to remain on the biker's shoulder. It squealed in protest at her sudden movement, but she put her existing hand to its back to stabilize it. _It's… Kincho? Why…?_

Minene was stifling her laughter.

"I don't suppose that's your horse, Celty," commented Rika, and the Dullahan appeared to deflate.

 _Ah, I did wonder where this little guy had gone,_ she thought in admittance, lifting Kincho carefully from her shoulder and cradling him in her arms. He grunted at her in approval. Kincho: Azami Midou's pet armadillo, who Celty had taken care of since day one, seeing as Azami had been killed the first day of the games. The mammal had taken an immediate liking to Celty, which normally would be strange… But really, Celty couldn't blame him, with the other two in the group being as crazy and frightening as they were.

She seemed to sigh. _I'm glad he's alright, anyway…_

"An armadillo, Celty?" inquired Akise, admittedly bemused as he touched his chin in wonder.

"Nice familiar you've got," Minene snickered.

[This wasn't exactly what I was expecting…] Celty admitted. [Everyone, this is Kincho.] she introduced, and began explaining where he was from.

Rika was smiling happily, listening to the other three getting swept up in the adventures of the armadillo. They were involved enough that they wouldn't notice her mumbling to herself. She gave a soft, droning hum, her eyes dulling.

"Something wrong, Rika?" Hanyuu asked her worriedly from behind her. She could only be seen and heard by Rika right now, just how the goddess preferred.

"Hanyuu…," Rika addressed her under her breath, and the goddess stiffened in fear.

"Um, yes, Rika?"

"…I want you to go to Izaya's group," she told her softly, and the lavender-haired one jerked in surprise.

" _Wha…?_ " She began furiously shaking her head. "No-o-o… I-I don't want to…!"

Rika folded her hands over her mouth, closing her eyes. "I want you to keep an eye on them…" Her voice was barely audible. "Let me know what they're doing… or if anything goes wrong at all. Anything notable."

"But _Rika_ ," Hanyuu protested. "I… I don't like Izaya at _all_ …"

Rika's mouth twitched beneath her folded hands. She almost laughed. "I do."

"Auu…"

"You don't have to reveal yourself to them if you don't want to. You're allowed to mess with them, even, if you want. I'd just like to know how they're doing."

"Au, au—uauauuu…," she wailed in distress, and Rika sighed lightly.

"I'd go there myself, but you are transparent and untouchable. I am a target that can be injured and killed. Think of it as an undercover mission; act as a spy. Maybe we can use the knowledge of their plans to our advantage somehow."

"Uuu, I don't like this, one bit," Hanyuu frowned, shaking her head. "Fine… Fine… Oh, Rika, are you _sure?_ "

"Absolutely."

Hanyuu sighed heavily. "I will be back, Rika…," she mumbled, and dissipated.

Rika smiled, opening her eyes. "Thank you, Hanyuu," she murmured, and lowered her hands, tuning back into the conversation. Akise was looking at her with suspicious curiosity, but what Rika returned him was a childish beam and a light, "Ni~paa~"

* * *

Hanyuu materialized above the four that made up Izaya's group. Invisible to them, she hovered behind them as their shadow, listening in on a conversation that Twelve was having with Suzuya. Eerily, Izaya and A-ya were silent, their faces devoid of much expression. They were the ones leading the group, and they were heading directly into the city area. Currently, Twelve was brightly talking about what a great time it would be working with the other three. "Well, four counting the… demon? Are you really possessed, A-ya?"

"That's right," A-ya answered flatly, and Izaya spun around to face Twelve and Suzuya, walking backwards and grinning wide.

"A-ya-kun here has a very specific demon, you see," he elucidated, holding up a finger, adorned with a silver ring. "There was once a player in-game named 'Kuroha,' who was an android possessed by the very demon that dwells in A-ya-kun now."

"Can we _talk_ to it?" asked Suzuya, wide-eyed.

Izaya blinked, then looked at A-ya. The occult-lover only shrugged.

"I think that's a yes," said Twelve, "but whether he _answers_ is a gamble."

"Does he like killing stuff?" inquired Suzuya, and Twelve slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Good lord, Suzuya," he laughed.

"I'd say so," Izaya shrugged. "The fun and terrible part about this is that this demon – 'Kuroha,' for simplicity's sake – is the reason that Yukine is dead! Yukine, you see, is the previous weapon used by Yato. After he died, Yato just fell apart, which is where we are today!" the informant explained brightly.

"Oh, no _wonder_ he wants to kill you, Izaya!" cried Twelve in delight. "You sure are an asshole!"

"Asshole," Suzuya repeated happily, enjoying the cussing.

"Yeah, well," Izaya shrugged, and spun back around. "I already knew that, anyway!" Upon facing forward, his smile quickly dropped despite the fact there was still a lightness to his steps.

"You sure are interesting, Izaya," remarked Twelve. "I like it." Humming thoughtfully, something occurred to him. "Ah, Suzuya, there's something I'm wondering," said the terrorist, and the CCG officer blinked at him blankly.

"Huh?"

"See, I've been thinking about this desensitization thing," Twelve began, gesturing about with his hands. "I've walked alongside death since I was a little kid… and I'm sure you're the same. There comes a point where it doesn't really matter to you anymore when someone dies. It's a casual event. Yeah? It's something you've said yourself. Right?"

"Yeah…" Suzuya picked at the red threads sewn into his lower lip, tilting his head. He had no clue where the terrorist could be going with this.

"When Roy died, neither of us were really affected. I bet even Izaya wasn't all too fazed."

Izaya gave a little bit of a _heh_ , but otherwise didn't respond, glancing over at A-ya. The possessed boy had a vague look of discomfort flitting over his features, his shoulders tensing. His hands were clenched at his sides, his pace faltering ever so slightly. He didn't look back at Izaya. Lightly, the informant ruffled the raven hair atop his head, and A-ya dodged in surprise, looking at Izaya with eyes that had obviously just been lost in deep thought, only just snapped to attention by the informant's hand. Izaya grinned at him, and A-ya blinked before frowning slightly, looking to the ground as he ran a hand through his dark locks. Izaya stifled his laughter. A-ya made no other expression of protest or otherwise.

While this little interaction went on, Twelve continued with his discussion: "There are a lot of people from that other group we could admittedly lose without much emotional distress on our part, right? That's just how it works when you're used to it. When death isn't scary anymore… But everyone has a handful… yeah, at least one person that they'd like to keep at their side. They don't want to let them go – meaning, they don't want them to die. Suzuya, do you got people – or a person – like that? Surely."

"No," Suzuya answered simply, some form of perplexity crossing over the distant disconnection reflected in his grey orbs.

"Hmm…" Twelve thought on this. "Even if I were to die, would you feel sad?"

"No," he repeated flatly, looking straight at the terrorist without expression.

"Huhh?" the brown-haired one cried. He held his heart in mock pain, closing one eye as he laughed.

Izaya tittered gleefully. "Suzu-chan, saying things like that, you sound like a monster."

"I won't say sorry," Suzuya informed him coolly. "Why I should I apologize for being a monster? No one said sorry for making me one."

A pause.

"Oh no, don't you worry, Suzu-chan, it's nothing like that," Izaya grinned. "As terrible as monsters are, you aren't the only one. Twelve's a monster himself, just of a different shade."

" _As is Liar,_ " A-ya added, tone lower than was normal for him. Colder. " _Seems we have a collection of monsters on our hands,_ " he said, and laughed cruelly.

 _The demon we really seek, huh?_ thought A-ya. _Every one of us…_ "It makes things… less boring," he said in his own voice.

"That's more than true," laughed Izaya.

"Man, that's mean," Twelve sighed, looking at Suzuya out of the corner of his eye. "I'd be upset if you died, y'know."

Suzuya stared at him. "Why?"

The sincerity of the inquiry struck him, and Twelve gazed downwards, joyous expression dying. "How do I put it…?" It wasn't like he didn't know the very question: yeah, why would anyone care for you, as a person?

Izaya's mouth twitched. For him, what did it matter whether anyone cared? What did he need that for? He was detached from the world, he needed not the bonds that other people had. He didn't need them at all; they were just ties that tied you down. That was all. Sure, it would be fun for people to love him in turn, but that's not what the game was about anyway, was it? No. Of course not.

A-ya's expression was hard. For _him_ , something like that didn't matter; it _shouldn't_ when something like death was something that could be fixed with the snap of someone's fingers. _Reset._

"I like you, Suzuya," said Twelve. "That's why."

 _Things like caring for someone else… It's lovely to watch, but incredibly inconvenient,_ thought Izaya. _Don't you realize, Twelve? You've just created a weakness for yourself._

 _Caring about someone…_ thought A-ya, **…is inconsequential,** cut in the Clearing Eyes Snake. **Lives, hearts, meetings, memories, deaths – they are lacking. Worthless. I feel like I'm reading a storybook.** _A play,_ A-ya agreed. _ **A tragedy,**_ they thought together. _Repeating itself like this…_ **…it makes me yawn. What an ugly tale, the recurring fate of 'love.'**

Suzuya said, "Everything. We lose everything we're given. Whether I live or die, it's really no big deal."

Twelve drew his lips into a thin line, not answering at first. A few moments passed. The terrorist sighed heavily as a prefix to his response, halting in his walking. "How can you go about things in that way?" Confusedly, everyone stopped as he did, turning to him. "Saying you shouldn't care about something because you'll lose it eventually is the same as holding no worth in your own life! Since we all die eventually, tell me, what is it you want to do before your time is up? There shouldn't be a price tag on the fact that we exist – I, who was never meant to be, who has been shunned by my world for _daring_ to exist… If our existences are all fleeting… which they are… then enjoy it while it lasts!" He took a deep breath, inhaling the refreshing air. The others were silent. "Right now, the four of us here: we're _here._ Can't we just _exist_ together? If every one of us is shut out from the world for whatever reason, can't we celebrate that we're far from alone?"

A-ya's eyes flickered. _Alone, together?_ He thought of holding Yukiteru's hand under the night sky. The stars had never been so beautiful before. Even the serpent within him was retreating inward, his discomfort thickening A-ya's own emotional response. **These humans… are strange,** Kuroha thought carefully.

"I don't know what you mean," Suzuya answered Twelve, tilting his head.

Izaya laughed, breaking the odd atmosphere that had settled on them all. "Careful with your philosophy, Twelve! It may be beyond Suzu-chan!"

"Ah, well—" Twelve began, but cut himself off as Suzuya swiped at Izaya with his scythe. The informant dodged easily. "That's fine," the terrorist laughed. "It was worth a shot! If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that nobody can go on without some connections with other people. Because all alone, without something like 'love,' you really are nothing but a monster, aren't you? We, as people, slowly die without someone to care about, whoever they may be. That's the mechanism of 'people.'"

There was a flicker of disdain in A-ya's eyes originating from the demon possessing him.

"The mechanism of 'people,' hah?" Izaya reiterated, eyes narrowing. His smile was thin.

"I don't think so," answered Suzuya distractedly, beginning to continue in their walk. Izaya and A-ya, after glancing at one another and getting a shrug from the informant, followed his lead and continued with him.

Twelve cheerily followed soon after. "See, I'm glad I'm with you guys! I _knew_ you'd all be more interesting…"

Hanging back, hovering midair, Hanyuu was trembling, hands clasped tightly in front of her. _Twelve… I, like Twelve,_ she thought, distress in her eyes. _We can… exist together, huh…? To be 'shut out' or 'shunned'…_ She closed her eyes, calming herself. There was no reason for loneliness, but nostalgia saturated with sorrow had its way of bringing these things back.

Opening her eyes again, she began to follow after them, unseen and unheard.

* * *

 _ **pain ahoy:**_ Ah, I'm glad to hear from you again! It's alright, man, Kaneki's lovable in that way. I'm that way with Seidou, myself... It's a little bit of a problem. Ah well~  
The Inhuman Internal Crisis Squad... Shinichi as Shia LaBeouf... Jeezums, you've made my day! Oh man, I'm so glad you think Hide was written well in here, I do my best ;v;  
Well, for everyone's sake, I'll hope that Kaneki sticks around with Hide and the rest. Maybe he and Shinichi can bond in the meantime, y'know, and everything will be okay, yeah? Haha~  
And of course, thank you very much for the review, as always! I'm overjoyed that you like this so much, and greatly appreciate your commentary, long or not~ Hope you're having a nice summer yourself, dear reader! Take care!~


	17. The Important Things

**Sorry about the late update, dear readers! I was off camping this past week, and was unable to perform the weekly ritual u.u Next week will be updated on Wednesday again.**

 **But here you are: this week's update! I hope you enjoy, anyway~**

* * *

Seidou wandered the woods without direction, his feet unsteady, eyes lost. " **Na…ga, chika…kun, and—Kaneki. He's got a party for him. Hilarious. Lies. Hate, no. It's funny. So funny. Makes me…want, sweets. Like that, yeah.** " He was gnawing at his fingers as he walked. His eyes were far-off. "… _Something's not right,_ " he mumbled, quivering. He pulled his bloodied fingers from his jaws, staggering to a halt. His snow white hair was hanging over his eyes as he bowed his head. He didn't notice, lids wide, orbs unseeing. " _It, hurts… It—huuurts,_ " he groaned, sinking to the ground. " _Why not—re_ _ **generate my insides?**_ " His fingers were pressed to the wound given him by the evolved Crow Claw. For some reason, it hadn't healed as well as everything else. Blackened fingernails dug into his flesh; his fingers digging in; _Dig in, dig in._

Unconsciously tearing into himself, he thought, _I'm on fire. Why are my insides burning?_ " **B u r n,** " he choked out. " _ **I don't wan**_ _t it, don't want, why… does it hurt so bad?_ " His voice was broken and weak. " **I hate him. Hate Kaneki. Not fair. It isn't** _ **fair.**_ **I don't—** _ **feel so good…**_ "

" _Maybe it's true…,_ " the owl heard, and he jolted, pausing in even his self-mutilation. There was, beside him, that god-forsaken phantom of the past, his brown eyes distant. " _…That I want to die, after all._ "

" **Then die, you pussy,** " he uttered, pressing his bloody fingers to his eyelids. _You should be, anyway…_

" _What… have I…?_ "

" **I didn't do anything wrong. I… I, I didn't; it's not—** _ **my**_ **fault…** "

" _In the end, I can never amount to…_ "

"… **what I want to be,** " murmured Owl. " **Not enough, I…** "

"… _I'm never enough._ " The transparent Seidou had his palms pushed to his closed eyes.

" _ **You**_ **were never enough. I… I…** " Owl curled lower, furling himself tighter, encased in a blanket of musty air and lightless days. He was nestled in a cave on the edge of time, where timelessness encircled him as an ebony abyss. There was no such thing as 'time,' because it didn't matter anymore.

" _You're sleepwalking again, huh?_ "

" **It—not me. Not my fault. Not. Not me.** "

" _I guess we're really just puppets…_ "

" **Wasn't me, my, my fault, it's not. Not mine, me.** "

All was black. He was blind, he couldn't see. He had treats in his hands, like flowers in bloom, on fire, his blood was on fire. A river of honey flowed, tasty, sweet, treat, a treat. Yeah, he hadn't had honey in some time. Some time, that's true. Maybe the cool honey would soothe his insides, but perhaps it was not honey but gasoline. _I'm flammable, careful, contents under pressure._

Couldn't be gasoline anyway; it was too sweet. He fed upon the stream sparingly but joyously. _Dig in. Dig in._ Crimson flowers bloomed about behind his sightless eyes. It was a beautiful day.

Above him, glowing cerulean eyes watched with frozen apathy. Yato crouched on a branch just to the side of the shuddering half-ghoul below him. Nora, still a sword, was gripped at the ready in his hand. Devoid of expression, he watched as Seidou tore into himself again and again, tittering as his flesh mended itself every time. Yato knew he should leave him be, but was drawn to this wreck of a man. _Drawn to calamity, huh? Drawn to 'tragedy.' Seems this one's incapable of even recognizing tragedy any longer._

Seidou's self-mutilation only gained on itself; his contented suffering had escalated to discomfort, to anger, to rage. " **NOT MY FAULT! NOT! ME! WASN'T! COULDN'T—** _ **HELP**_ **IT!** "

Yato gave no response to his visionless breakdown, his visage uncaring. "What a lost soul," he remarked softly, coolly. "I'm sure the demons are feeding off you as we speak. It really is too bad… Unfortunately, I cannot save you." He straightened, standing upright on his branch. Seidou paid him no mind, too swept up in his own head. "I'm not made for saving people."

Yato left him in his mode of self-destruct, dissipating in a flash of blue while Seidou Takizawa howled to the sky in a scream of utmost torment.

* * *

Hide introduced Rin to Kaneki with much charm and excitement. He was about to try and introduce Shinichi when the partial-parasite bowed to the half-ghoul and said to him, "Pleasure to properly meet you." Wearily, Kaneki bowed in turn, and Shinichi gave him a sad smile. There was nothing for them to say. It was wordless understanding.

Rin was lost on the hidden connections, but on her sidelong glance to Hide, she found the blond one smiling wide in pleasant satisfaction, his eyes soft with a hint of sorrow if you looked hard enough.

The mage soon explained that Shinichi's wounds, although serious, were ones that she couldn't heal here because of her lack of crystals to utilize. There was an apology in Rin's tone, though she never spoke it directly. Unworried about Rin's lack of healing capabilities, Kaneki was the one to tend to Shinichi's wounds, using the cloth of Shinichi's already-torn blue jacket. It would be ridiculous to have him die of blood loss after surviving that one. Of course, Kaneki made an attempt at apologizing himself, perhaps on behalf of Seidou, but all three of them pushed him off.

As the four began heading back towards the city on Kaneki's quiet request, Hide took to rambling about how cool Kaneki had been when he blocked Seidou Takizawa, how he loved the new white hair idea he had going on, how he was super glad that he and Shinichi got along well – "I thought you guys could make great buddies! You know?"

Regardless of Hide's soothing remarks, Kaneki's insecurity in this group was evident. He was still trying to wrap his head around all that he'd done since the incident with Light and Roppi the night before. He looked at his hands as though in question: 'What have I done?' He noticed that the mild cut he'd gotten from Roppi's knife was healed.

 _Doing what I did to Light… it's too far, isn't it? And Roppi, I… I left all of them behind. Was that better? I just couldn't take it… Should I be in this group at all? Should I try to return…? I… don't know that I… deserve it, do I? What if I break again… like then? If I can't even control myself… Who is it, then, inside me? Roppi, I'm so sorry…_

… _If I had actually tried to talk to Seidou at that time… when he approached me at the balcony… could I have stopped him? Would that man Senji still be alive right now? Would Seidou be reined in, a teammate again? Seidou, I don't know why I…!_

"Hey, bud, what's up?" asked Hide, nudging him with his elbow and consequently snapping him from his thoughts. "C'mon, no time to be stuck in your head; I haven't seen you in _ages!_ We can discuss this death game stuff later, if you want. Instead, let's talk about the _important_ stuff."

Kaneki felt fear spreading from his chest. Important…? His regrets back home were no better than here. His lips parted, but he didn't know what to say.

"Like," began Hide, "Fall Out Boy came out with a new album!"

Just as quickly as it had been born, the fear shriveled within the white-haired boy.

"It's called _Save Rock and Roll_ ; came out a few months ago. I'm thinking you and I are from the same time, so bear with me. For all _I_ know, we've already had our little reunion and I've already told you about this! But I hope not, because I'm _super_ excited, see. They went a little more pop-ish this time, which is interesting, but I still dig it. My favorite is the album-named song, you know, 'Save Rock and Roll.'"

"Ah," Shinichi came in, raising his hand slightly. "Fall Out Boy, is…?"

"An American band," Hide said excitedly. "It's not my _favorite_ favorite, but it's definitely one of my tops. This new album, they've got a whole new sound, but I don't really mind. They're good! Kaneki, there's one I know you've got to appreciate…"

Rin sighed lightly. Maybe she should just tune out at this point…

"There's this song on this new album, okay? It's called 'The Phoenix;' I know you'll like it. It's inspired by the Soviet Russian composer, ah, Dmitri Shostakovich. Have ya heard of him? Older guy from, like, World War II time? Ish? A 1900s dude; looks kinda like Harry Potter?"

 _If Hide's intrigued with something,_ thought Kaneki, _it's true that he goes all-out with it. And music has always been one of his favorite hobbies…_ A smile was touching his mouth. Listening to his friend felt warm. He'd forgotten how nice it was: sunshine… "Yes, I have," Kaneki answered, vaguely amused but otherwise ignoring the Harry Potter comment. "'When a man is in despair, it means he still believes in something'…"

"He say that?" asked Hide.

"He did," the half-ghoul confirmed.

"Sweet… I'll _have_ to show you that one, then. Also, Bastille! I found a British band; haven't listened to them before recently. Their name is, well, Bastille, like I just said, and they're like, soft alternative, I guess? Like—Indie rock, or something! Yeah, so I found them 'cause of this song called 'Pompeii,' which is apparently very popular in Western countries…"

As Hide went off on his tangent, Kaneki's eyes softened. He found that for now, in this moment, he was at peace. _He's always been like this… I… Really, I'd somehow forgotten what it felt like to belong somewhere. Here, with Hide, even with everything that's happened… Maybe… I can still belong at his side?_

A calmness settled in him. The sun's rays were oddly friendly, and for the first time in forever he felt its warmth right through to his core. Even this stranger walking alongside them, Shinichi Izumi… yeah, even he felt like an old friend. Oddly, Rin Tohsaka reminded him vaguely of a certain stubborn girl by the name of Touka Kirishima. Such a thought brought him pain, but still… it was, okay.

Things were okay.

* * *

"Where do you think Kaneki might be?" inquired Konoha as he walked after Roppi, his spacey expression wandering around as he looked.

"Preferably nearby," Roppi answered dully.

"He is close?"

"You tell me; you have the super-hearing."

"There are people nearby," Konoha admitted thoughtfully. "You think that he is one of them?"

"I honestly doubt that he's with anyone," Roppi frowned, stopping in his tracks.

Konoha, staring into the windows of the upper stories, didn't notice that Roppi had stopped and consequently bumped into him. "Oh. Sorry."

Roppi shrugged it off.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Nah, just fraying my nerves as all…"

"Fraying your nerves?" the android repeated, tilting his head.

Roppi rolled his eyes. "Yes, you're a real pain in the neck."

"But I did not touch your neck," he said fretfully. "What if something is wrong?"

Roppi brought his red-fringed sleeve to his mouth, covering his slight smile. His red eyes were glimmering in cool amusement. "Something's definitely wrong, Konoha."

"What's that?"

"I mean, I'm teamed up with you."

Konoha paused. "…Ah." He looked down, brow furrowing. "Is it that… you don't like me?"

Roppi blinked as the albino before him began to sink from ignorant curiosity to empty depression. _Shit._ "Ah—Konoha, it's not… Er…"

Konoha looked at him with sorrowful watermelon eyes.

Roppi couldn't maintain eye contact, instantly regretting his choice of words. "I don't—it's not that… I _dislike_ you, okay? I… don't."

The android lit up. "Really?"

"Uh…" He drew his lips into a thin line. "…Yes."

"Ah, I'm so glad!" Konoha exclaimed in quiet joy. "I will do my best, Roppi! I want to make sure to help you when I can… as much as possible. Because Shintaro is my friend, and Roppi is Shintaro's friend, and so… I would like to also be your friend, Roppi!"

Roppi stared at him, lost for words. "Uh—thanks." He didn't know what else to say. _How is it I keep finding these people who don't make any sense…? And why do they_ like _me?_ The bitter one sighed lightly, turning to continue walking the direction they'd been going. "Whatever floats your boat."

"I don't have a boat," Konoha informed him, following obediently after him.

"You should get one. Great for… uh, boating."

"Going on a boat, you mean?"

"Ah, well…" Roppi thought on this. "Can you go in water?"

"In water? Yes. I like the rain," the android answered matter-of-factly.

"Me too…" _Even though this guy's idiotically slow sometimes… It's… kinda refreshing, having someone so… I don't know… Not-fucked-up? Well, he_ was _possessed._

"The rain is nice; a boat in the rain sounds interesting. Water above and water below. I could be a fish. Or a sea serpent."

"Let's not do serpents," Roppi frowned, glancing back at him.

"Good idea."

"But you've gotta be careful with going on a boat in the rain; if it's a storm, you could drown or something."

"Drown?" Konoha echoed, bemused.

"It's when people realize that they can't breathe in water like fish do. And they die."

The albino blinked, halting in walking. "…Oh."

Roppi kept trucking on. "Yeah. 'Oh.'"

Konoha resumed walking, catching up to Roppi relatively easily. "I mean, it isn't really that I didn't know that… but… ah. That sounds bad."

"Yeah, probably," Roppi shrugged.

"The world is so dangerous," the spacey one commented.

"Right? Who knows what terrible things could befall us," Roppi uttered drily. "I can only name a dozen ways to die off the top of my head."

"I don't think I was made for such a scary world," Konoha admitted, and Roppi scoffed.

"I don't think anyone really was."

"I agree." The android paused. "…We are close to the group now. I hope they are friendly."

"Can you hear what they're saying?"

"Something like… 'hungry.' Ah. I am also hungry."

"Are you ever not hungry?" Roppi frowned at him, and Konoha took some time to think about this question… much to the dark one's vague annoyance.

"I am not hungry… when… I am eating. I would say it's so while I'm sleeping, but I can't tell when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"I guess so," the other sighed.

"Although, I do think that food tastes better when you share it with friends."

"You'd mentioned that…"

"Yes, it's true, you know. There's not a lot that I understand in life, Roppi, and I get that… I'm really just an idiot who doesn't understand a thing." Roppi shifted uncomfortably, feeling ever so slightly guilty for thinking exactly that at one point or another. "In fact, I don't even know a lot about me, and I'm with me all the time. It's hard for me to tell what I 'like' and what I 'don't like.' Most of the time… I can't even figure that… But there are a few things I do know, and I will hold onto them. Food tastes better when you eat together. I like mayonnaise very much, but I like barbecue more. Barbecue is my favorite. I know that. I like triceratops; they are fun and cute. I know that. I like baseball. I know that. I don't know _why_ I know these things, but they are what I know to be true. And that's why they are important to me."

Roppi's hard eyes began to soften, if slightly. _Huh…_

"As for a 'wish' of mine, or a 'dream,'" he continued, "…I think I just want to have fun with people I call 'friend.' I don't know where this dream came from, but it was all I had to go on from the very beginning. It's very important to me. It's something I want to do after this game is over. I would like to have fun with you, and with Shintaro, and with Sensei, and with everyone else that's a 'friend.' Something like a 'dream'… I know I have it, but it's still something intangible, which is confusing to me. I hold it inside somewhere, I guess, but is that strange? What gives a dream worth? What makes it worth 'fighting' for? I don't want to fight… And tell me, then… Is it that something that is strange… If something is strange, can it still be truth? I don't know the meaning of things like 'happiness' and 'sadness.' 'Love,' or 'ego.' All of that, I… really…" Konoha trailed off, his pace slowing to a halt.

Roppi turned around to face him, brow furrowed in confusion. He waited for the android to continue, but nothing happened. "…Konoha?" he tried, and the albino shook his head.

"…Ah. Something is… wrong."

"Something's…?" Roppi wheeled back around, brandishing his gun in preparation. There it was, the group Konoha had mentioned, only a few yards away after having rounded the corner of a tall building at their right side. Roppi's red eyes narrowed. _Ah, fuck. It's Izaya._

"Roppi-san, it's been some time," said Izaya, his eyes cold, his smile thin.

"Oh, hey!" Twelve greeted brightly, waving at Roppi. "Where's Hostage-san—I mean, Shintaro? Don't worry, I'm not _too_ mad about him zapping me; promise!"

"Can we kill him this time?" inquired Suzuya, picking at his lower lip.

Roppi clicked his tongue in annoyance. The fourth member of Izaya's group, the young one named A-ya, was silent, his head bowed. He was someone that Roppi had never dealt with, and so he was very wary of his actions. _What happened to the biker chick and the silver-haired asshole? And when'd they pick this kid up?_ "I really don't want to deal with your bullshit right now," Roppi growled, and Izaya laughed.

Stepping forward, the informant spread his arms. "Roppi-san, seems you still have that machine gun of yours. Still going about on your monstrous rampage? I do wonder: where _is_ Shintaro-kun? Leave him behind, did you? Is it that Shintaro turned out to be nothing more than a nuisance? And it seems you've got a new friend here, hah?~" His eyes narrowed, smile spreading. "What is this one to you, certainly something like a strength card to use, right? What, a bodyguard? Perhaps you're finally holding some weight to your own life? To what end are you using him?"

"Konoha, don't listen to this dick," Roppi frowned, his insides on fire. "Okay? We might have to fight these assholes, but it'll be—okay. You got this, Konoha?" He glanced back at the android to find that he was frozen, trembling in his place on the sidewalk. Slowly, he took a step back, his yellow-arrowed boots making a soft sound on the pavement. Roppi, looking back to make sure his gun was still pointed in Izaya's direction, turned to Konoha with firm expression. "Hey, what's the matter?" Konoha shook his head. " _Konoha,_ " he frowned deeply, his tone low and irate.

"Th… this… I… no…," Konoha mumbled, eyes wide. He took another step back, shaking his head more frantically.

"Konoha, what the hell?" Frustrated, Roppi turned back to the opposing group, setting his jaw and cocking his gun. "God damn it…"

"Ah, will he run away without you?" asked Izaya, smiling with a look in his eyes that said he knew something that Roppi didn't. This only further pissed Roppi off, of course.

"Maybe he doesn't _like_ us," remarked Suzuya.

"Yeah, well, I don't blame him," scoffed Roppi bitterly. "I seriously don't want to fight either, so if we can just—" He stopped short as he felt a sudden chill in the air. _This feeling… is…?_

Shaking with silent laughter, the quietest group member with the dark cape draped around his shoulders lifted his head, his eyes glowing crimson. The smile on his face was one of distorted ecstasy. Roppi was coming to the realization that was something was definitely wrong here, his grip tightening on his gun as he prepared for action, footing shifting on the concrete as he prepared a firm fighting stance for whatever they had in store—

In a flash of red, Roppi felt himself getting yanked backwards as the ground beneath where he was standing moments before was destroyed with a crash of lightning that came from nowhere. The boy A-ya was on him, grin twisting his features as he lunged forward – his face was centimeters from Roppi's own; his mouth was moving but Roppi couldn't process any of what he said; the bitter one felt as though he was being pulled through time and space, they were faster than his time processes could comprehend. He couldn't tell whether they were in slow motion or fast forward, because immediately afterwards he felt the force of gravity tugging hard on him as he was lifted forcibly into the air; he was being held in the crook of Konoha's arm and the ground was so far below them, all in an instant. He realized that what the boy had said was, " _You're in my way._ " He realized that the pupils of his eyes were slits, peering into his core through his own naturally red eyes.

" _What the fuck just happened?_ " Roppi breathed, and found that yes, thank goodness, he'd held onto his machine gun.

"I saw trouble," Konoha explained simply.

Roppi twisted his neck to try and see the android's expression, and caught a glimpse of a serious look. Something was bothering the usually-blank albino; fear and discomfort was etched into his face. Looking back to where they'd been just a few seconds before, Roppi saw that the distant figure of the dark-clad kid was watching them go. He thought for sure he could still feel that gaze on him.

"Was that…?" Roppi tried to ask, but something stopped him.

The other was silent at first. Then, "…If my breathing brings back _that person_ as well, then I…" They hit the ground with a force great enough to put a crater in the asphalt, but Konoha just bound back into the air with something like anger. Roppi guessed he was capable of being frightening after all. "I'd rather be dead," he said lowly.

"That person… the… demon, you mean?"

"Yeah," Konoha agreed, sounding rather forlorn. "If I knew he would have come back, I… I would have tried to go right back to sleep."

Roppi tensed as they hit ground again, jumping right back into the air. His stomach, he felt, was far below them. "Well… Shintaro was really glad to have you back, Konoha," Roppi informed him uncomfortably. He didn't know how to go about helping him feel better. Konoha didn't answer, and Roppi swallowed. "I mean… You guys are two different people, you know… Like, me and that little shit down there – he looked a lot like me; you saw him, right? That's Izaya, and he's probably caused his own share of havoc in this game. I'm nothing but an extension of him, supposedly… but I'm coming to find that I don't have to be like him at all… So… what I'm saying is… if you, well, choose a good way to go about things, then—it shouldn't matter what _he_ does, because… _you_ are doing your own thing. I mean—if that even makes sense." Roppi drew his lips together, his chest tight with nervousness – not to mention how that last encounter had messed with him. So fast, now they're still airborne. Amazing.

"You're right, Roppi," Konoha said softly. "Thank you." He paused. "That just means… that I must do something about that. I don't know what, but I will figure somehow." With renewed vigor, he landed on the ground just behind another group passing through. Roppi tried to get a look at them, but then they were in the air.

Catching the members looking at them in deep perplexity, he froze. "Konoha," Roppi said flatly, urgently. "Konoha—stop. Stop."

"What?"

"Go back; go back! That was Kaneki—god _damn_ it, are you _kidding me?!_ "

He went down, skidding on the asphalt and shredding it as he slid. "Huh? Kaneki?"

"Kaneki!" Roppi confirmed frantically.

"Oh!"

And just like that, they were speeding off back where they'd come. Despite his exasperation (or perhaps because of it), Roppi found that he was laughing.


	18. Assurance

"A-ya-kun, that was almost a bit much, wasn't it?" chuckled Izaya, smiling with his hand on the hilt of the Prophet.

The dark-clad hero didn't answer, watching as Konoha and Roppi got further and further away.

"Is it that you've got other plans, Kuroha-san?" Izaya tried again, raising his eyebrows.

"I know we saw machine gun guy, but who was the other one?" asked Suzuya blankly.

"That was Konoha," Izaya explained to the lost Suzuya and Twelve. The air still felt static from the flash of lightning that had nearly fried Roppi in an instant. "It's the demon's old vessel – it appears he has his body back. Hah… Good for him."

A-ya brought a hand to his forehead, turning slowly back to face his teammates. " _That's right, an empty vessel is what he is… It's laughable, seeing him squirm under my gaze. He knows it's me,_ " he said in that cold voice, then laughed slightly in the voice of A-ya. "'A bit much,' huh, Izaya?" Twelve and Suzuya glanced at one another. A-ya had two voices enmeshed into one when he next spoke. " **Knowing that there were originally twenty-four members of the game… Take all factors into account. We have twenty-two players in-game right now, not counting anyone that may have died today. The game masters… to get anywhere, we need to thin them out. Nothing will be accomplished otherwise. Wouldn't you agree?** "

"Because if there's too many players, there's no reason for them to do anything but watch the entertainment," Twelve concurred soberly.

"O~kay," Suzuya said distractedly.

"Hmm…" Izaya was frowning at the dark-clad boy, his eyes dark. Sighing, he closed them. "You're not wrong," he shrugged.

"But I've gotta say," remarked the terrorist, "if you'd been talking more in that creepy possessed voice, A-ya, I'd have no idea why none of us noticed that you had a demon living inside you."

A-ya shrugged. "Demon possession… isn't exactly the first thing on anyone's mind."

"No, it was the cat ears," said Suzuya matter-of-factly. Izaya and Twelve laughed together as A-ya sighed, looking introspectively down at his hands.

* * *

"Was… that…?" Kaneki blinked, staring at the mess of ground left just behind Rin.

"Some kind of superhuman?" tried Hide, squinting. He put his hand above his eyes to try and see beyond the glare of the setting sun. "A cyborg?"

"Or an android," Kaneki uttered, recognition evident.

"Okay, what are we missing here?" demanded Rin, gesturing to the crater Konoha had left behind.

"Good intent?" inquired Shinichi blankly, scratching at his temple. "Or bad?"

"Whatever it is, they're coming back," Hide pointed out, touching his chin as he watched the visitors come back around. He gave a little glance to Kaneki – obviously his friend knew this person, or these people… Plural or singular, there was definitely a connection here. Positive? Negative? They'd find out soon enough, Hide guessed.

Kaneki, Hide, Shinichi, and Rin had already stopped, waiting for these two to approach. Kaneki seemed a bit nervous for reasons other than the threat of attack. Once Konoha and Roppi were close enough, the android set Roppi down – he staggered upon being set back on his feet, swallowing. Yeah, they'd found Kaneki, and he was with people after all. Was that game master, Seraph, right? Was Kaneki already purified? And, the people he was with…

Roppi, frozen in place, was coaxed forward by Konoha, who gave him a little push that turned out to be a much stronger push than he had intended. The alternate shot Konoha a sour look before drawing back once more. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…_

"I remember _you_ ," spat Rin, raising her mutilated arm in preparation to shoot off some curses. "You're the one that _ambushed_ us!"

"Oh yeah," Hide said blankly, rubbing at the back of his head.

Shinichi rubbed at his neck under where he'd lost his ear. Basically, he recognized him just as well.

"What's that about?" asked Kaneki, turning to Hide and the others in confusion.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember you," Konoha informed them, and Rin frowned.

"Not you…"

"Hey, maybe we should wait a sec," suggested Hide, putting a hand on Rin's shoulder. "I think Kaneki knows these guys."

"Kaneki, yes," Konoha said, brow furrowed. There was too much going on before him – he couldn't comprehend all of the connections.

"Uh, Kaneki—" began Roppi, voice tight.

"Don't do anything, Rin… I implore you," said Kaneki, holding up a hand to her. With narrowed eyes, she grudgingly obeyed, lowering her injured arm.

Roppi's eyes were flicking around from Shinichi to Rin to Hide. His heart was in his stomach. _These guys… every one of them…_ He suddenly felt very uncomfortable with his machine gun in his hands. _What a… rash decision that was… Not that—I didn't know that at the time, either. I just—didn't care._ He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. His mind was chastising him, was disgusted with him.

"Kaneki, that is you, right?" asked Konoha, looking at the half-ghoul.

"That's right, Konoha," Kaneki smiled gently back at him. "I have to apologize… for…"

"I am very glad that we've found you!" the android told him with blank joy. "We've been searching for you since yesterday, I think. I forget. It was awhile ago. Roppi said you were in trouble just after you left, and so I tried to help and now… Are you okay? You look okay. I think you look okay. I could be wrong about that."

"No, really, I'm fine," Kaneki said, touching his chin, his brow furrowed in apology. Hide gave him a sidelong glance. "I need to apologize… particularly to Roppi…"

"He needs to apologize to _us,_ " Rin uttered, annoyed.

"At this point, does it really matter?" Shinichi asked her, and she frowned deeply at the ground, as though it were the asphalt that were guilty.

"Look, can you guys make this any more uncomfortable?" asked Hide, huffing out a sigh. He brought his hands to the back of his head, casual. "Jeez. Why don't we leave 'Neki and, what was it, Roppi?" He looked at Roppi, then to Kaneki when Roppi only averted his gaze. "Let's leave them be. I kinda wanna get to know this guy; he looks awesome!" He gestured to Konoha, who blinked at him. "What did ya say he was, an android? Sweet! So, what's your name?"

"Ah… Konoha…"

"I'm Hideyoshi Nagachika, but you can call me Hide! That's Shinichi over there, and the cute one's Rin-chan! Don't you think she's cute?"

"I… like the… ah." Lost for words, Konoha gestured with his fingers at the sides of his head, looking like he was giving himself rabbit ears. "The hair. The pigtails, that's right. Up top, like that. I like that."

Rin rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

Kaneki looked to Roppi as Hide spurred the conversation for the other three he was keeping occupied. Shame was burning through the bitter one; his eyes smoldered with it, cast to the side where they needn't make eye contact with anyone. Tentatively, the half-ghoul approached him. "Roppi… I'm very sorry about everything that happened when we were last together… I knew that Light was trying to take advantage of me the whole time… but I… didn't need to do as I did. And—the things I said beforehand…" He lowered his white-haired head. "It was uncalled for." Bowing in apology, he found he had nothing else to say.

Roppi was shaking his head, his chest squeezing in protest to Kaneki's own shame. _Idiot, I don't want you apologizing to_ me _… You're making me feel_ worse, _damn it…!_

There was a thought in the back of his mind: a musing that from here, he could pass it off as Kaneki merely having a breakdown. Pass the blame in Kaneki's own perception to the half-ghoul himself. He never needed to know that it was really Roppi who did that to him. Kaneki could reconcile for his mistake, and they could go back to the others just fine.

 _But would that really be fixing my own mess?_

 _It would sure look like it._

He closed his eyes. _What bullshit._

"Please stop bowing," Roppi got out, his jaw tight.

Kaneki lifted his head, looking at him with faded grey eyes. Sorrowful. Weary. "I know that what I said to you put you in a terrible position, and I need to—"

"Stop," Roppi cut him off, and Kaneki obliged, though his eyes told him that he was questioningly curious. "Just, stop. No. Just because… Okay. Okay." Roppi took a deep breath. "Let's—get a little bit further from the others. Is that fine? Can we do that?"

Sensing his apprehension, Kaneki nodded. "Sure; over here, then." Kaneki began leading them away. "What is it, Roppi?"

"Look, stop apologizing for the shit you said at that time, okay?" Roppi told him. "I mean, yeah, sure, I was a little surprised—I mean, you saw my—well, my—my skin, so you know that—" Kaneki gave a slight nod, thinking soberly of the marks of self-harm that marred Roppi's pale self. "Well what I'm trying to say is that I was too caught up in my own stupid head to really comprehend that other people wanted to die too, I guess?" He nervously ran a hand through his raven hair. "So—"

"Roppi," Kaneki said firmly, warmly. He gripped gently at Roppi's shoulders, and the alternate stiffened. "It's okay. You shouldn't be obligated to recognize that in a person… and I shouldn't have fallen apart like that. I should have better controlled myself; there's too much at stake in this game…"

"No; _stop_ that!" Roppi jerked away, backing up. "No, please, it wasn't— _Kaneki,_ it was… I mean… It wasn't _you_ … It was…"

"…Roppi, what do you mean?"

"It was _me,_ " Roppi told him desperately, and Kaneki sighed lightly.

"It wasn't your fault—"

"Yes it _was!_ " Roppi snapped, and Kaneki was silent. The half-ghoul looked as though he was waiting for the storm to pass before he interjected again. _He's got it set in his head that it was all him,_ the raven-haired one thought, and his insides knotted themselves. He really didn't want to say what he knew he needed to— _God,_ he didn't want to… "No, you don't get it, Kaneki, that knife I had, the one I cut you with—I didn't want to cut you, I'm sorry, I'm so _sorry_ but I did… If you draw blood—it's called the Harrowing Blade, okay? And it—it brings out the very worst of somebody, and apparently there's a cure, and you've already got it I guess but—but I'm sick and tired of ruining every goddamn thing I _touch_ but I do it anyway and so… I…!"

"Roppi," said Kaneki, and Roppi went rigid, expecting the worst. "It's okay. I'm glad."

The other stared at the half-ghoul, perplexed. "You…?"

"I was afraid of the fact I'd lost control of myself so drastically. Obviously you didn't intend to draw my blood, Roppi; you didn't mean to cause the consequent sequence of events." He smiled gently at him. "It's okay, Roppi. It's not your fault."

"Not…?" His eyes were burning, and he shook his head before they could begin to cry.

"Nobody's fault," Kaneki shrugged, his own eyes distant. "Everybody's."

Roppi looked at him in a wordless question, but Kaneki only waved it off.

"If it was the effects of that blade… I admit I still feel terrible about some things… I… saw Seidou."

"Me too." They both looked at the ground, silence attempting to fill in the empty spaces. Roppi bit his lip in preparation to fight against the quiet. "About Seidou…" _Can I trust Seraph, a game master? Well…_ "There's something I need to talk to you about, Kaneki."

"What's that?"

"Do you know what it was that got you out of the effects of the Harrowing Blade? I'll explain, I swear—it's…" He swallowed, nervous. "It's for Seidou. I want your opinion on something."

Touching his chin thoughtfully, the half-ghoul gave a slight nod. "…Of course. Let's see…"

* * *

Yukiteru didn't want to get up. He didn't know how much time had passed since they'd all reached this little traditional home, but he did know that he couldn't while away his time in a bedroom for too much longer. He had people waiting for him.

 _A-ya, what are you thinking right now…?_ He brought his hands to his face, feeling the stinging of his eyes and rejecting the thought of weeping – it wouldn't do anything, anyway. Grudgingly, he sat up. _Is it that he's betrayed me, after all? Would A-ya do that…? Was there a reason, after all, for Keiichi and C-ta to…? No, that's definitely not right…_ Sighing, he scratched at his head as he grasped at his hat, lying discarded on the floor. _I wonder what happened to my special item,_ he thought idly, untying his boots to re-lace them. _Was there a time limit? But A-ya's item is still working…_ "Uwahh, I can't do a _thing,_ " he moaned, flopping back onto the bed. _Now what…?_ "Stop sulking," he mumbled to himself, tugging his hat over his eyes. "It's not like you're alone or anything… I mean, you have Akise-kun… and Minene… Even Celty-san and Rika-chan are here. Isn't that great?"

But it didn't really feel so great at all. _Was Izaya right after all? Is it that nothing's changed at all… that I was just depending on A-ya, too…?_ Shaking his head, he sat back up and got to his feet at last, shuffling over to the sliding door as he adjusted his hat back its proper place. He paused at the door, wondering what it was the others were talking about. The very first impression of what was going on out there was heard loud and clear:

"Yato? Akise, that's a _terrible_ idea!" he heard Minene bark in rejection, and he released a sigh.

 _Oh boy…_

Bracing himself for uncomfortable interaction, he opened the sliding door and stepped out. In the living area, he saw Akise and Celty turn to look at him. The former smiled at him, his rose-colored eyes warm. "Yukiteru-kun, I'm glad to see you up."

"S…sorry, I just… I mean…"

"It's fine," Akise assured, and gestured for Yukiteru to join them all. "We were just discussing our plans from here."

"Our plans… huh?" Yukiteru mumbled, joining them all with his eyes downcast. He longed for solitude once more. It was familiar. Desirable. He discovered that without his fellow loner, he was far more uncomfortable amongst others, just like before… _At least I'm with Akise-kun,_ he thought to himself, rubbing at one of his arms.

"Is Yukiteru okay now?" asked Rika, sounding curious and concerned.

"Oh, uh… y…yeah," he answered. Oh, that was right; were they _worried_ about him? People worrying about him, would they do that? Could he trust Rika? Celty? Surely he could trust Akise. What about Minene? Such a thought of concern was alien to him. _Or maybe it's just thinking about myself at all… All I do is think about everything else around me – I never much think about myself. Is that what A-ya thought? I know I want him to be okay… Is he worried about me, too, I wonder? How strange…_

[I'm sorry for your friend.] typed out Celty, holding up her phone to him. Yukiteru blinked, surprised. [But until we figure out what needs to be done, we'll do our best to help.] As if in agreement, an armadillo perched on her shoulder squeaked at him. He stared at the little guy, perplexed.

… _Where did he come from?_ he thought blankly.

"Oh, please," scoffed Minene. "Don't be so sorry about the A-ya dude. Yukiteru, listen to me here."

He looked at the terrorist, nervous for what she might have to say to him.

"Here's the problem with you, and with him," she said, holding up a finger. Her single eye shone with irritation and determination. "Both of you, you know you're weak. You know you're helpless."

The fourteen-year-old shrank under her gaze, knowing she was right.

"But that's just it! You two _know_ it, so you think you can't get any better. It's bullshit!"

He faltered, suddenly unsure of her intended message.

"The problem isn't that you're weak, it's that you _know_ you are. Everyone starts off weak; it's how life works. But if you don't try to make yourself better; if you don't reach for the goals that you think are impossible, then you're never going to get anywhere! There is nothing but the future waiting for you, Yukki, so make it what you want to," she spoke to him with a voice filled with fire. "Honestly, I don't want to deal with you sulking—or anyone, for that matter. So if you lose the will to live, then just fucking die already." A sharp sigh punctuated her words, and Yukiteru stared at her with wide blue eyes, taken aback. His mouth opened and closed, but he couldn't find anything to say.

"…I'm sorry," he began, but she snapped back, "Stop fucking apologizing and take responsibility for your actions. I'm not saying that what you want is impossible, I'm saying that you've gotta take action to get it, _get it?_ But if you're going to blindly imitate 'life' while letting everyone else do shit for you, then I don't want to deal with you at all."

[That might be a bit harsh, isn't it?] asked Celty, and Minene rolled her eyes.

"It's the truth."

"Maybe Yukiteru-kun needs some inspiration," said Akise, "but that may not be the best way to enlighten him, Minene-san."

She clicked her tongue in annoyance, and Akise turned to Yukiteru.

"Yukiteru-kun… I've said it before, and I will again. If anyone can help A-ya-kun, it's you."

 _That's right… Akise, he'd said…_ Yukiteru blinked. _What, 'even if A-ya-kun were to make a mistake, I'd be willing to trust you in saving him'?_

"You said he was your friend, didn't you?" Akise inquired, smiling in that sly way of his.

"I… yes… O…of course," Yukiteru answered, shifting uncomfortably.

"Would he hurt people to hurt them, do you think? Is he that kind of person?"

"I…"

He thought of their night talks. Of the night Yukiteru asked whether he was lonely as he was. The soft, vulnerable sound of A-ya's voice in the night: confirmation. _"Me too."_ He thought of the battle they'd had together back with C-ta, and Shinichi's group: facing the group with… Kuroha. The way A-ya had been too scared to move, standing frozen with his scissors in front of him, trembling as he watched C-ta combat someone with ease. He thought of listening to A-ya's musings that night, so dark, so pessimistic. His tone was sullen: _"With the way this game's set up…we might be doomed no matter what. Even if we have an epiphany like how we don't need to participate in the game… do you really think that everyone involved will listen?"_ The ever so slight quiver in his voice when he whispered to Yukiteru, _"More people will die."_ He thought of the horrible crimson scene directly after that, with C-ta and with A-ya's scissors and how C-ta had tried to kill them and how C-ta had died and how A-ya brought those scissors to his own throat and killed himself right in front of him… How he tried to wake him up to no avail. The tears that streaked his worn face. The horror that was hidden in his dead expression. The emptiness in his red eyes, and how they were the first things Yukiteru saw when he woke up. The way he embraced A-ya; the relief he'd felt. The way that A-ya actually hugged him back. He thought of how A-ya spoke longingly of the three he hadn't realized were friends of his: C-ta, B-ko, D-ne… The sorrow in his voice when he spoke of the misunderstandings of C-ta; the way he'd never be able to reconcile that frayed connection. He thought of the feeling of A-ya's hand in his, that night…

…Of the wish that A-ya had made, tone wistful; plaintive. _"If… if I were to see a shooting star right now… If we were to see one in this sky, what would you wish for, Yukiteru? …It's strange. I think… I'd wish for 'normality.' The 'mundane everyday' that… that I hated so much."_

Yukiteru felt as though his heart had stopped. _…A-ya…_

"He wouldn't mean to hurt anybody at all," Yukiteru said firmly. "A-ya is the kind of person that doesn't wish harm on anybody." _Even if it was his hands that killed Roy, his hands that killed C-ta, isn't it true that both times he broke down?_

"Alright," Akise smiled, satisfied. "That's more like it. I believe you, Yukiteru-kun. Now, you just need to prove it to our teammates."

"Eh?" He stiffened, taking a step back.

"No need to be so alarmed, Yukiteru-kun. We're going to do our best to help A-ya-kun, but it will be at your discretion. Even if it's that A-ya-kun's fate is set in stone, I know you can rewrite it. It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

Yukiteru blinked. It occurred to him that his own friends, yeah, the ones he'd realized he'd had once Rodd had sent him forward in time… Hinata; Mao? They had both tried to end his life! Wasn't it true that they, who were originally considered 'traitors,' were really just confused and desperate? It was subtle, but something dark began to swirl about him, like the feathers of a blackbird. "Ah… yeah, you're right," he said, his hope beginning to return. "But… how can I…?"

"It's not like you'll be alone," Akise pointed out, putting his hands comfortably in his pockets. "Yukiteru-kun… don't forget. Every one of us is on your side. All of us are going to help you."

"R…really?" he asked tentatively, unsure. He looked around at the others.

"That is so~" Rika confirmed happily, smiling childishly. She held up a single finger, a matter-of-fact pose. "Yukiteru is a nice, good friend; I do believe so!"

[I also want to help you.] said Celty. [I may not have gotten to know you very well yet, but I'd like to.] Tap-tap-tap. [And I'm worried for your friend, too. I'll do all that I can.] The armadillo grunted demandingly, and Celty seemed to falter. [And Kincho will, too!] she added, and then scratched gently at the small animal's head.

"…Minene?" Yukiteru asked, looking at her with head tilted, questioning the idea that even she would be on his side for real.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm rootin' for ya, kid," she said, and Yukiteru smiled, pleasant disbelief coursing through him. His face was flushed with joy.

"Th…thank you all so much…!"

"Of course, Yukiteru-kun," Akise shrugged, content with the outcome of this little conversation. "And you know A-ya-kun better than anyone else, right?"

"I do," Yukiteru answered with confidence. "You're right, Akise-kun… I'm taking your advice, Minene!" He pointed at the terrorist, the ebony feathers swelling in a dark eddy that swathed him in the black, returning to him that loose cloak that had pooled around him at the time he'd first activated his ability. "I don't want to just sit here; I'm gonna save him… I'll make sure of it!"

Rika clapped at the show, laughing happily.

"But where'd the cloak come from?" Minene asked blankly.

He looked down at himself. _…It's back?_ "Uh…" He scratched at his head awkwardly. "It's a special item I activated right before we split… Um. I dunno, really, how it works…?"

"It seems it activates depending upon your level of confidence, Yukiteru-kun," Akise commented. "All the more reason to believe in yourself."

Yukiteru blinked, then nodded curtly, a lopsided smile touching his mouth. "Yeah. All of us… We'll end this game. Stop the cycle. And we'll save as many people as we can along the way!"

"Now don't go thinking you can save everyone," uttered Minene, only to be nudged by Rika.

"Is it really so bad to want to save everyone?" the youngest asked her softly while Celty went on a positivity streak with Yukiteru.

"It _is_ a dream to reach for," Minene conceded, then closed her eye. "But dreams that are too happy… are nothing but an illusory boat to Hell."


	19. Rumor

Before long, A-ya's group was on the move again. A-ya was rather quiet for some time, but Izaya eased him out of his head in that annoying but effective way of his. At least, it worked for the most part. The little occult-lover was still a bit distracted in his speech, but hey, it was _A-ya_ they were talking to, not the serpentine demon dwelling within him and not both of them entwined in one.

…Well, at least until Suzuya asked him, "So wait, are you a cat demon, then?"

" _No,_ " A-ya answered quickly, annoyed. His eyes flashed in momentary loss of control. For a split second, he was Kuroha. Closing his eyelids, A-ya cleared his throat. "…He's a serpent."

"I think he's offended," remarked Twelve, and Suzuya giggled.

" _Nekorosu~_ " piped up Suzuya happily. "That right?"

"Nice, Suzu!" Twelve grinned, and held up a hand. They high-fived.

Izaya sighed, and A-ya shrugged, his mouth twitching. "I'm sure that Kuroha-san also doesn't much appreciate the pun," the informant pointed out, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Eh, it doesn't really matter whether the demon likes us or not," Twelve said casually. "Really, I don't think he likes anyone, so what's the point being nice other than to humor him? As long as there remains a distinct 'us and them' mentality, at least with A-ya, then we're safe!"

Suzuya blinked bemusedly at him.

"That is," Twelve clarified, "as long we belong to the group here – 'You're one of us.' That kind of deal. Because someone that isn't 'one of us' becomes, well, dead. Right? They're an enemy. That's the mentality that's set up for this game, apparently." He eyed Izaya meaningfully, and the informant shot him a sly grin accompanied with a shrug.

A-ya watched Twelve try to nudge Izaya with his elbow only for the informant to dance away from him, pointing their way to the next checkpoint. The dark-clad boy observed the three of them begin on their way before following along after them, his pace slow. **Twelve isn't wrong,** conceded the demon in his head. **You know it too… that no one is on your side; one must be wary of everyone. Liar is far from trustworthy, and it's easy to tell that Twelve, too, has some other motive here with us. Doll is only along for the ride, meaning…**

 _Ah, that's strange._

A pause; a flicker of stifled annoyance. **…What's that?**

 _For you to call Twelve 'Twelve.' Isn't it? When you always give people your own titles…_

Kuroha scoffed. **'Twelve' is not a name, as you call it. Twelve is nothing more than a number. Numbers hold as much meaning as my worthless labels. It is mere categorization. Objectification. There is no personal attachment to a number; it is just a number.**

 _I wonder, then…_ "Ah, Twelve," he spoke up in his quiet, dull voice, and the brown-haired one looked back at him with his wide, bright eyes. A-ya thought to himself that this person rather reminded him of the summertime. _Ah, it was just becoming summer at home…_

 **It was going to be summer for a long time, kid,** Kuroha informed him flatly yet with humor. …Albeit dark humor.

A-ya ignored him. "Why is it that you're called 'Twelve'? Do you have a real name?"

Twelve blinked at him, then beamed. "Why is A-ya called 'A-ya'?" He answered. "The title 'A-ya' is nothing more than the anonymous tag on a minor involved in some grave incident, like murder. Terrorism. Some sort of crime. Isn't that true?" He shrugged, spinning back around to face forward. "Or maybe you're just named that way in your realm. Crazy."

A-ya thought on this. Oddly, it had never occurred to him. "No… you're right. I… am thinking that my name 'A-ya' might have to do with an incident… a legend that I don't yet understand. It's nothing I can pinpoint, not here. And you?"

Twelve laughed. "Well, you did give an answer," he conceded. "I'm just Twelve, that's all. Just like Nine is Nine. That's my terrorist partner, by the way."

"But why Nine? Why Twelve?" A-ya pressed.

"He's got his curiosity going," Izaya smirked. "Won't you sate it? I'm wondering too, now~"

"Curiosity killed the cat," Twelve said simply, then paused. "…Well, snake." He gave A-ya a look, then turned to face forward again.

"Why not Thirteen?" asked Suzuya. Judging by the roman numeral XIII on his scythe and the same pattern of red hair clips holding his bangs out of his eyes, one might guess that thirteen was his favorite number.

"Thirteen is dead," Twelve answered bluntly, flatly. His tone had shifted drastically in an instant, effectively darkening the atmosphere. He brought his hands behind his head, casual.

A-ya drew back a bit. _I see…_ The dull disinterest of Kuroha deadened his insides.

"We were stripped of our names a long, long time ago, if you really are so curious, A-ya," Twelve continued, much to A-ya's surprise. Izaya glanced back at the terrorist. "We were given numbers because we were children devoid of 'love.' Does that make sense? To deny people the right to 'love'? To label others, objectify them with a distant title, to be nameless… it's the same as being 'loveless,' right? To have no 'love' received, to have no 'love' to offer… that's what it is to be a monster, right?" He spread his arms. "Be it fabricated 'human love,' as you say, Izaya… displaying a twisted form of that affection…"

The informant shifted in pace, tilting his head to look back at Twelve. "Hm?"

"Or, be it that you've been hurt enough that 'love' has become a pointless fantasy, Suzuya…"

Suzuya blinked.

"Be it that you know only straight-out disconnections, frayed ties, and miscommunications, A-ya…" Twelve closed his eyes. "Or whatever the case may be for any one of us, we'd already come to the conclusion that we're all monsters. Right? But even monsters are 'people.' Isn't that the truth?"

"…Maybe it is," agreed A-ya softly.

 **I'm sure the truth is that all four of you brats are equally susceptible to the greedy longing of 'love.'**

"Monsters are people too, huh?" snickered Izaya, enjoying himself. "An interesting thought~"

"No kidding," Twelve agreed, his tone still rather serious. "And that's why… I 'love' this group." He smiled a thin, dark smile. "Because irony is fun."

Quirking an eyebrow, the goddess hovering along behind them sighed, unbeknownst to the four heading forward. They were rounding the tallest tower on the game field on the eastern side when Izaya pointed out to the others that the players Konoha and Roppi surely couldn't be too far off. "It could even be," Izaya added, "that Shintaro-kun is off in sheltered safely somewhere nearby again. Not saying that's the case, but we should be wary of the possibilities. However! I would also like to take a good look at the surrounding area here…"

Hanyuu folded her fine fingers together as she waited for the short-term plan to be arranged. Just Izaya's _voice_ grated on her nerves. Yet again, Rika was torturing her with her ways. For them to be bound by the soul, for them to be 'one and the same,' in essence, why was it she had to be so different? She was always insistent on liking the things that Hanyuu couldn't stand: spicy foods, for example, or alcohol. Or Izaya Orihara.

She sighed heavily again, furrowing her brow as they came to the decision that Twelve and Suzuya would inspect the surrounding area in rounding the western side of the tower, while A-ya and Izaya would skirt the side they were currently on, at the eastern edge.

"Do tell about any abnormalities," said Izaya brightly while Suzuya picked absently at his ear and Twelve saluted them.

"Please actually pay attention," A-ya added dully, scratching at his raven-haired head.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" Twelve shot back with a sly smile.

Ever so slightly, a smile touched A-ya's pessimistic expression. He nodded back at Twelve, and the two pairs parted ways.

 _Though it may not seem like it at first glance,_ thought Hanyuu, _this may be a perfect dynamic after all… Not that—that's a good thing, actually._ Grudgingly, the goddess followed after Izaya and A-ya, her eyes shadowed in deep distaste. Seeing as Rika had told her to follow 'Izaya's group,' she figured that meant keeping an eye on Izaya in particular… Probably also on A-ya in particular, seeing as he was a huge part of that whole terrible scene with Roy Mustang. _And everyone just moved along as if it were nothing… Oh, I really don't like this mission. Izaya makes me so_ mad…

"So what do you think, A-ya-kun?" Izaya asked A-ya, spreading his arms. "For what you thought would be a solo mission, are you pleased or miffed that you have three others at your side?~"

A-ya looked at him, then tilted his head, thinking about it. "…Both," he answered, and Izaya laughed. The dark-clad boy looked up at the tower they were rounding, slowing his pace as he tried, perhaps, to peer into the top story. It seemed that the top story was the only story there was – even if he jumped as high as he could as the dark-clad hero, he couldn't reach it. Which was probably the point… and probably why apparently Minene had blown up the tower in the female game. "You chose this area because of the tower, didn't you?" A-ya asked of him, and Izaya flashed a grin.

"Maybe so~" The informant, too, paused to look up at the high tower. It was a structure that thinned out the higher it went, up until a point where something reminiscent of a watch post bulged at the top. It reminded A-ya of the crow's nest on a pirate ship. "I bet the game masters are up there somewhere, smiling right back at us… What do you think, A-ya-kun?"

"I think they're laughing," A-ya answered flatly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I think they're watching us through innumerable cameras. I think they find it funny that we're so close, but so far. I think they find it laughable that we can get so close without being a threat in the least… Because more people need to die before anything can happen with them."

"That so?" Izaya's smile thinned. "It makes me kind of angry," he admitted.

"Them playing a game with us?"

"Perhaps something like that."

A-ya laughed a bit. "Then make the game your own. That's what both of us have been doing since forever, right? You and I are the same in that way. Just, become a game master yourself!"

"A daring move, A-ya-kun," Izaya snickered. "Then tell me! What, exactly, is your intent in this game?"

"Reset," A-ya answered simply, bluntly.

The informant blinked at him. "Well, I can't say that idea doesn't have its obvious pros," he shrugged, closing his eyes. "It's certainly possible, knowing what the game masters have—"

"I know it's possible," A-ya said shortly.

He paused. "…Then, wonderful!" The informant clapped his hands. "I _do_ wonder, would we remember such a thing? What an advantage that would give us~"

"I don't care whether we would or not." Flat-toned certainty.

"Ah, A-ya-kun, is it that you merely want back the chances you've lost? Because something like that…"

It was _that_ taunting, cruel tone the Hanyuu hated most! " _As if you don't just want Shizuo back,_ " she snapped, revealing herself in her irritation. Both of them turned to look at her with wide, blank eyes.

"Oh, hey, Hanyuu," said A-ya dully, as though her presence wasn't all too surprising to him.

"Now, wait, wait, wait a minute!" Izaya protested, holding up a hand. "Who told you the name 'Shizuo,' in any case? How do you know it, hah?"

"I'm _god,_ " she huffed, crossing her arms and pouting at him. Apparently, Izaya hadn't been surprised about her presence more than he'd been shocked by the fact she'd said 'Shizuo.'

"Oh, please," Izaya scoffed, rolling his eyes. "After becoming acquainted with Yato, that can hardly count as an excuse."

"A-ya wants to reset, huh…?" Her eyes narrowed. "The serpent demon already knows that's a game we've played time and time again." She lowered her arms, her tiny hands gripped into firm fists. "Once upon a time, it was _you_ who died in that battle, Izaya," she said lowly, and Izaya stared at her, something like vague discomfort flitting across his eyes. "And Shizuo Heiwajima was the one who made it back. Yeah, he felt some remorse for having not made it in time, but honestly, it didn't take long to get over someone like you."

He couldn't respond. He'd forgotten how to shoot back in verbal fire. His own eyes narrowed. He looked annoyed.

"Then," said A-ya, "that means… that resetting the game _has_ occurred already… Meaning… the outcome, really can change, as well?"

 _I so do not know how to mess with people the way Rika does,_ she thought fretfully. "As much as I dislike the demon dwelling within you, I have to say… I like you far better than C-ta."

The dark-clad boy's eyes widened. "…C-ta?"

"Don't get so excited," Hanyuu frowned. "When he's around this late in the game, it means both you and Yukiteru were already killed, probably by him."

A-ya bowed his head. "I… kind of… figured, that much, of course…"

"Ah, there's no need to worry about anything that's happened in other routes," sighed Izaya with a shrug. "What purpose is there in that? This only proves that we wouldn't remember a thing~" Shifting tone, he eyed Hanyuu with cruel smile in place. "Now, do tell, Hanyuu-chan… Why are you out in this area? You're not spying on us to obtain information, are you?"

"Uuu…" She shook her head. "No, unfortunately not! Rika… wanted me to see… that you were all doing alright."

Izaya laughed. "Good to know that Rika-chan is worried for us~"

A-ya was touching his chin, contemplative. "Is it that… you can communicate between groups?"

"Eh? How do you mean?" She blinked.

"It's just… then… is it that Rika's group is also alright?"

"Oh." She played with her fingers. "Yes, actually, they're doing just fine."

"Do you think that…? Ah." A-ya looked away, head bowed. "Maybe that wouldn't work. It's probably just paranoia anyway."

Izaya blinked, then smiled knowingly.

"W…wait, what's that, A-ya…?" asked goddess nervously.

"It's nothing," he said dismissively, waving her off and beginning to walk again in the direction they'd been heading. "I don't want to… worry Yukiteru, anyway. It's nothing I want him to have to know."

"Now, A-ya-kun," Izaya came in, sounding concerned, "you know… it may be better for him to know. I know you don't want to, but—"

"I already decided that I wouldn't say," A-ya answered in snipping tones. "I—well, ignorance is bliss, isn't it?"

"But this _could_ put him in danger. Do you _really_ want that responsibility, A-ya-kun…?"

Hanyuu was looking between the two of them, her eyes flitting from one to the other in increasing franticness. "U-um, guys…?"

"It's just silly, isn't it?" A-ya asked Izaya quietly. "It doesn't even sound legitimate… I don't think it would work…"

"Ah, perhaps you're right…," Izaya sighed lightly, closing his eyes. "It could be that Yukiteru-kun wouldn't listen. He _is_ stubbornly trusting…"

Hanyuu sped around to look at them, eyes wide in worry. "What is it you two are speaking about? What could hurt Yukiteru?"

"It really isn't all that good an argument," A-ya mumbled, scratching at his cheek.

The informant shrugged. "Even if you were to relay it, it may just fall on deaf ears…"

"Th-that's fine!" she cried, getting up closer to them. "Please, explain yourselves…!"

"D…do you really wanna know?" asked A-ya, blinking at her.

"Ye-e-es…"

"I mean… just…" A-ya rubbed at the back of his head uncomfortably. "Just please don't let Yukiteru know. It'd be better if you didn't tell anyone else."

"That's fine," she insisted.

"Ah… well…"

"See," Izaya came in seriously, "it _does_ have to do with Akise-kun…"

"…Something's been strange about him from the start," added A-ya. "Even the demon feels as though something is wrong."

"It is true that he came out of nowhere… He gave me these new information sheets, but he isn't on them, himself. In actuality, he doesn't belong to any of the groups."

"The night Roy died… I could have sworn I heard him chuckling just before Nora appeared."

"Not to mention, he had been misguiding my group from the very beginning of his arrival – well, at least as soon as Yato up and left. I'm not sure what his intent was, but he started taking control from that point on."

"And with an unknown motive like that… I'm just worried that Yukiteru might be trusting the wrong kind of person…"

"As much as I dislike saying it," contributed Izaya, "it _is_ the case that Yukiteru-kun has fallen in with the wrong people before… He's a very trusting kid, which just sets you up for being stepped on. I've seen it time and time again, and that's the truth."

"But please," A-ya said worriedly, "I've just hurt Yukiteru enough… I don't want him to hear anything about Akise, too."

"O…okay," Hanyuu answered stiffly. She bowed. "Of course I'll respect that."

"Thank you," A-ya murmured.

"We should get searching for abnormalities, huh, A-ya-kun?" said Izaya.

"Yeah…"

With that, they walked past Hanyuu to scout the area. The goddess was deep in thought, frozen in place. _Akise…? It is true… that I don't remember him being in any other route than this one… But, does that mean…?_ Fear was spreading through her chest. _I-I need to let Rika know the next chance I get!_

As A-ya and Izaya walked with their backs to the goddess, Izaya amusedly watched A-ya's face contort with cruel glee, his eyes wide and his face flushed with excitement. The informant knew that this terrible fixation had nothing to do with the demon possessing him. In fact, his own mouth began to twist in satisfaction. The Eskimo-like man ruffled the dark-clad kid's hair happily, and A-ya nudged him with just as much playful enjoyment.

 _It's like Izaya read my mind!_ thought A-ya. _In the best kind of way!_

 _Who would have thought I would have a 'partner in crime' like this?_ thought Izaya.

Both of them felt fantastic. Even Kuroha, nestled neatly in A-ya's mind, was vaguely amused by such a show – they'd just used a _goddess_ to spread a _rumor_! Granted, he also didn't expect A-ya and Izaya to collaborate so well, either.

 **Both of you, toying with gods and siding with demons… At the very least, you make things interesting, kid.**

This only served to heighten A-ya's dark joy, thin smile spreading over his face as he and the informant continued silently on, composedly containing their cruel mirth.

* * *

 _…Akise, huh?_ Rika heard Hanyuu's news not too long after that – the goddess had gone to convey the message after Izaya and A-ya had re-met up with Twelve and Suzuya. _But he doesn't seem to have ill will…_ Under the current circumstance, Rika couldn't vocally respond to Hanyuu. She closed her eyes. Around her, the other four of her group walked forward, trooping through a field of grass. There'd been a dirt road heading back north, but Akise had suggested they cut through the grass. Minene agreed easily, and everyone else went along with it.

 _I suppose we'll have to wait and see about Akise. If anything, I'll bring it up to Minene… She knows him; she'd know well enough, I'm sure. Minene's blatantly honest about her thoughts on others… I must remember, Izaya has a hand in what Hanyuu just told me, so whether it holds merit is arguable. Yet, even rumors such as those can hold a grain of truth…_

 _Regardless of Minene's analysis, I will keep an eye on Akise. Under the information that Hanyuu just gave me, it implies that Akise is either associated with the game masters or associated with Yato. Perhaps both. I do know that Akise wasn't in any previous routes to this one… or else he's been erased from them._

 _It_ is _safe to admit that something is strange here._ Brightening up and returning to her persona, she pranced forward to catch up with the others. She was only ten yet, and she was petite even for her age. Meaning, these older people walked kinda fast.

Currently, Yukiteru was handing off his beige hat to Celty for use with the armadillo. She mentioned through the communication of her phone screen that she wasn't sure what to do with an armadillo that was always perched on her shoulders. So, Yukki had offered his hat, and Celty had tried placing Kincho inside it. In Yukiteru's hands, the little guy seemed a bit nervous. Cautiously, he sniffed at Yukki. As the animal slowly relaxed, the cloaked boy lit up in finding the armadillo seemed to like him.

On Yukiteru's back, a machine gun was slung using the strap it came with. Yukki had had the opportunity to select 'Weapon Upgrade' at the items pillar, and that machine gun was his prize. He didn't know exactly what he could do with a machine gun, or why he needed it when he could freaking _levitate_ stuff, but he guessed he was thankful for it even though he'd never touched a gun in life, nor had he really intended to until it just up and appeared in his hands.

"Oi, what's that ahead?" Minene uttered, and they all came to attention.

"Someone's out there," Akise said coolly, hands in his pockets. "Be careful, everyone."

"It seems kinda like his walking is off," commented Yukiteru, brow furrowed.

"Slow; lurching," Minene agreed shortly. The five of them sped up the pace. As the staggering form got slowly closer, it dropped, collapsing in a dark heap on the ground.

"Are they alright?" asked Yukki, alarmed.

"Let's find out," Akise said lowly, quickening to a jog. "Celty-san, ensure Rika-chan's safety."

"It could be a bluff, guys, look out," said Minene tightly.

Yukki awkwardly passed Kincho and his hat to Celty before running with bare feet after Minene and Akise. He found that his feet were practically gliding on the ground. This awesome ability combined with adrenaline inspired him with hope: maybe they could _help_ this guy! Maybe they could _save_ this guy! How wonderful! What a great feeling!

They reached the broken heap of person on the grass in no time at all. It was but one man, lying perhaps three meters away, none other than the god of calamity known as Yato. He was lying face-down on the ground, his black tracksuit torn, charred, bloody and marred by the divine choices he'd made in this dastardly game.

Yukiteru stiffened in recognition. _He's the guy… that killed L. The guy… that almost killed A-ya…_ He subconsciously stepped back as Akise stepped forward. Minene hissed at the silver-haired one to be careful. Behind them, Celty and Rika peered around them to see what was up.

"Oi!" Minene barked, and Yato stirred.

With hazy, dulled blue eyes, the god looked at them all. His weary eyes flickered – in recognition? Anger? Grim acceptance?

In any case, they closed immediately after as he slipped into unfathomable darkness.

Minene held up a hand to everyone else before approaching and examining, swiftly checking his pulse (he was alive) and his consciousness (he was out cold).

[What do we do?] asked Celty.

"He… has been going around killing players," Yukiteru admitted apprehensively.

[He thinks I killed someone named Hiyori.] added Celty. [I watched when he first snapped. It was rather frightening.]

"Well, I say we off him while we can," Minene said matter-of-factly, hands on her hips.

"But," piped in Rika, "where is Nora?"

There was silence.

"Ah, who cares about her? I want her dead even more!" Minene growled.

"I think we should help him," proposed Akise.

" _Why?_ " the terrorist answered, exasperated.

"Yukiteru-kun, you wanted to try and save everyone, right?" asked the boy detective, his eyes shining. The one he was addressing straightened. His mouth opened and closed. He drew his lips into a thin line, considering. "It's likely the case that he's a victim of circumstance, like many of the other people in this game. Whether he's killed people or not, aren't we just obeying the structure of the game if we kill him while he's down?"

"Yeah, and then what, he offs us once he's better?" Minene scoffed, crossing her arms.

"It's true that Nora isn't anywhere nearby," Akise pointed out thoughtfully, touching his chin. "Hm…" Distractedly, he pulled out his little investigation diary, opening it to one of its pages. A smile touched his pale lips.

"That doesn't mean he can't fucking slaughter us."

[Have more faith than that!] Celty responded. [If not in Yato, then in your group!]

"I think Celty-san's pretty cool," Yukiteru agreed, remembering what A-ya had said about her being a grim reaper of some sort. "And besides, you're pretty badass too, aren't you, Minene?"

"I, well, thanks," she frowned. "Not what I was getting at. Why help a potential traitor?"

"Why feed the very structure of the game?" Akise answered, closing his notebook with a soft clapping sound. "I'm sure Yato-san… hm, Yato-sama?" he contemplated this. "Ah, well, he'll be appreciative just for Celty-san and I to remember that he's more than just a 'god of calamity.' No, he's mourning the loss of a boy named Yukine. We can smooth over the misunderstanding with you, Celty, so long as Nora remains uninvolved. It's likely she'll pop back in at any time unless she's dead, which I doubt. He's just as angry at this game as all of us are. I'm sure he just wanted to find the quickest route to its ending. Perhaps he just couldn't handle his loss, and the rage consumed him." He shrugged. "It could be that he's incredibly unstable right now. That doesn't mean we can't try and give him some support. I'm almost positive that he doesn't want to die here."

 _But…_ thought Rika, gazing at the boy detective, _…I think I like Akise._ She almost dared to hope for a happy outcome.

[I agree with you, Akise.] said Celty, coming forward.

"I don't suppose you could do as you did with Yukiteru-kun and Rika-chan," said Akise to the Dullahan, and Celty perked up in question, paused, and nodded her helmet as dark tendrils began cocooning the beaten-down god, lifting him into the air as gently as she could while raising her phantom hand with the motion (not that anyone really noticed it was phantom). In her other arm was Kincho inside Yukiteru's hat.

"There is another house just ahead. We'll hurry there," said Akise, and Celty nodded curtly.

"This is a fucking dumb idea," muttered Minene.

"I wanna help him, though, Minene," said Rika, and the terrorist deepened her frown.

"…Yeah, yeah, we're doin' it. I know. I know." Arms crossed over her chest, she grudgingly accepted the decision.

" _Mii~_ Thank you, Minene!~" cried Rika happily, prancing forward. Akise smiled knowingly at Minene, but the terrorist just grumpily trucked forward.

"Let's just fucking find this place, already… I can see it, not too far…"

Looking at Celty, Yukiteru noticed that the Dullahan was trembling slightly under the strain of carrying Yato with her shadows. Yukki figured that she was still recovering from whatever happened in her game, and, blinking, he said to her, "Ah, Celty-san…"

She turned her helmet to him in acknowledgement, and he gave her an awkward look.

"Hey, if you got him safe and sound in your shadows, I got the heavy lifting," he smiled lopsidedly, easing her strain with a little wave of his hand. "I've got the levitating thing going on now, so it's okay!"

Celty seemed to falter before she nodded to him in thanks.

With the unconscious Yato in tow, they headed towards the house ahead to tend to him, for better or for worse.


	20. Tending Wounds

When Yato came to, his thoughts were cloudy and dark. He felt that he was on his back, and the lack of light burning through his closed eyelids told him that he was in the dark. _I passed out,_ he thought hazily. _But for how long?_

 _Where was I…?_

Clarity came to him slowly, like a trickling stream. He'd teleported away from Seidou, that was right – he knew that it would take just about every ounce of what he had left, but as long as he focused on reappearing somewhere where there were no other groups nearby, he'd be fine to rest.

He remembered trying to continue on, merely because he didn't want to be near that stupid little house where he'd started this damned game. He remembered Nora telling him that they should stop; he should rest anyway, he needed it. She was very insistent, but he was very stubborn. He remembered seeing the people coming from far ahead, his vision going dark. He remembered the ground suddenly being at his hands, the grass a lush green between his fingers. Nora embracing him, saying in that soft, lulling voice of hers, _"It'll be alright, Yato. They don't like me, but if I'm gone, they may take care of you. Let them tend to your wounds; I can transport myself… I just can't take anyone with me."_ He thought perhaps she had kissed him on the head in farewell. _"Call me when you need, just make sure you're well enough to leave, when you do. I trust you, Yato."_ There was the sound of a droplet of water colliding with a crystalline pond. Nora was gone. Next he knew, they'd been upon him. He made out the biker girl through his darkening vision, and all he could process was that Nora was wrong, she was dead wrong and this was the end after all. But…

Upon coming to the realization that he wasn't dead, suddenly his current situation was far more important to understand. Where _was_ he? What had happened?

Eyes opening in a flash of blue, he sat up abruptly, sending a shot of pain through his chest, through his gut. From the blue-haired girl. From Kuroha's new vessel. He gasped at the sudden sharpness of feeling, bringing a hand to his torso. He was surprised to find it properly bandaged – his chest was otherwise bare.

"You're awake." A smooth, satisfied voice. Yato quickly turned his head to look at the one speaking: a young boy with silver hair and rose eyes, his blue jacket complimenting the hue to his pale locks. He looked rather familiar. It seemed he was the only one in the room with Yato. The sliding door was closed, and there were no windows. Yato remembered this bedroom, easy. "You probably shouldn't move too quickly," said the boy. His mouth upturned in a terribly smug smirk that reminded the god uncannily of Izaya. His hands twitched – he felt the incredible urge to grasp this kid by his pale neck and—

"I assume you want some kind of explanation, of course," said the silver-haired boy, closing his eyes. "You could try to kill me, but both of us know that isn't such a good idea. Please wait a moment."

Yato's eyes narrowed.

"I'm Aru," said the boy with that smirk touching his mouth again. "Aru Akise."

 _He sounds like he's imitating a spy movie…,_ Yato thought. The thought struck him as odd.

The boy whose name was Akise narrowed his eyes slightly, the same smile smoothly curving his mouth. "I'm 'the fourth member of Group 6.' I suppose."

Now Yato was just confused.

"I did meet you once, momentarily. That was when you fought for a bit with Izaya-san," – Yato's eyes narrowed further at the mention of him – "…as well as Suzuya-kun and Celty-san."

Ah, yes, he remembered him now, if vaguely. Akise hadn't been one of the ones fighting, so it was fair for him not to recognize him immediately. A terribly angry feeling began to swell in him – if this person was involved with Izaya… The image of the biker's helmet came to mind, an image he'd seen just before passing out. His lips began to curl, his sharpened teeth bared. He spoke lowly, slowly. "I want nothing to do with Izaya…"

"Don't worry," Akise answered calmly. "Izaya isn't involved here, not any longer. He parted from this group early this morning, along the possessed A-ya and the other two boys from Izaya's replenished group."

So there were no demon vessels to worry about… Seemed they figured out that Kuroha was back. And, Izaya was with him? Was that the case? What a combo _that_ would be. Disgusting.

"I would like something of you, if you wouldn't mind," the boy continued. Yato's eyes narrowed further, but all he had to say was, "I'd like for you to accept our hospitality."

Yato couldn't help but continue to be tense. He could not relax. How could he relax? Why were they helping him? It didn't make sense! What could they be doing? Were they _idiots?_

"You've obviously taken quite a few hits, and being tailed by the half-ghoul Seidou Takizawa surely didn't help your case." He stared at Akise blankly. "At this point in time, after having failed to attack our larger group in the last incident, I don't think he'll go near a larger group of people. Even if he were to attempt it, we have enough strong players on our side that I wouldn't worry too much on it."

"Who… is…?"

"Yukiteru Amano, Uryuu Minene, and Rika Furude are all a part of this group," Akise explained easily. "Yukiteru-kun is currently of rather strong status, and Minene-san is… admittedly a terrorist, but her motives are the same as our own. Amazingly, she's a wonderful partner." He chuckled at the prospect. "Rika-chan is just a kid, so we'd like to do our best to protect her. Interesting that such a young child would be chosen for these games." Noticing Yato's questioning look, he added, "She's only ten years old, you see. I would have thought that Yukiteru-kun and I would be young, seeing as we're fourteen, but there are others younger," he shrugged. "That's not to say we're not capable."

"What about the biker…?" He knew that Akise was hiding something; he had to be.

"That's Celty-san," he explained. "I do believe there is a misunderstanding amongst the two of you. I understand you think she killed a girl by the name of Hiyori?"

Yato flinched, telling Akise that yes, that was the case.

"I can understand the misconception that Nora may have had," he resumed, pulling a small blue notebook from his pocket. "It seems that Nora is nowhere around right now… Knowing that this is a firm belief of hers, I'm glad we can have this talk now. In the female game, you see, there was a schism in Group 5, which was Celty-san's group. There were two other girls left in this group: Shiro, also referred to as the Wretched Egg, and Eto Yoshimura. Celty-san had departed from these two by the time your friend was killed by Group 5. If I'm correct in my analysis, it was one of these two that killed her, not Celty. One could possibly argue that because Celty-san was a part of their group, it was her responsibility to stop them… but seeing as both Yoshimura and the Wretched Egg were either volatile and chaotic or manipulative and cruel according to multiple sources, I should say that it was fair for Celty-san to make it out of there as soon as she could in order to protect herself." Closing his notebook with a thoughtful look, he added, "In fact, it was apparently Eto Yoshimura that was the final antagonist, and Celty-san aided in her ultimate demise."

Yato wasn't looking at him anymore, his head bowed. Was Nora wrong? Was it that Celty wasn't guilty? But, no… What did it matter whether it was Celty or not that had killed Hiyori…? In the end, she was still…

"Yato-sama… well, is it alright if I call you Yato-san?"

Yato blinked at him. _Did he just call me… 'Yato-_ sama _'…?_ Just a few days ago he would have been ecstatic. He felt like maybe he should be, but instead he just felt… strange. He brought a hand to his bandaged chest. No, inside, he felt… just… empty. "Yato is fine, even without honorifics," he said quietly.

"Well then, Yato, I hope that you will be able to—"

"Why are you doing this?" A harsh interruption.

"I understand that you hate this game as much as we all do," Akise answered simply. "I'm sure you understand that the true enemy is whoever is running the show. Wouldn't you agree?"

Yato nodded distractedly, his eyes averted. "You shouldn't have tended to me. This will end badly."

"That's only if you make this decision a bad one," Akise smiled.

"I'm only going to take from you; it's all I know how to do." A hollow, flat assurance.

"I'm sure we can teach you, then," chuckled the boy. "In return for our hospitality, I ask that you bless us with your company… as well as keep our group pet occupied. That is… at least until you meet up with your partner again."

His brow was furrowed. "Group pet?"

"We have an armadillo," he explained with some amusement. "His name is Kincho." Akise paused, thinking on this. "Of course, this all includes you… well, not hurting us. Can you do those three things?"

"I…"

"You're a god, right?"

"…Yes," he frowned, cautious.

Akise smiled, pleased, at him. "Then would it make a difference if I gave an offering?" Pulling his hand from his pocket once more, he held up a single coin. "A holy offering of the generic five yen?" He flicked it in the air, catching it as it fell and slipping it between his fingers, flipping it between his knuckles with skillful ease. "It isn't much, but I thought it was a charming touch to my request."

Yato stared in wonder. Of all the strange things that could happen to him in this game… Yeah, wasn't it true that he accepted any wish for five yen? The way things were going, he'd be granting wishes of assassination like days long past… that is, once he actually got home. If he got home. ' _Fitting,' huh, Akise? No kidding. You have no idea how well._ He almost wanted to laugh, but the thick, hollow feeling continued to consume his insides. "Yeah, what was that?" he held up a hand, and Akise flipped the coin to him. With a swing of his arm, Yato caught it with a grin. It felt wrong on his face. "Your wish has been heard…" Was it really fine to fake this persona? "…loud and clear!" It didn't feel like it.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," said Akise, pressing his hands to his knees as he got to his feet. "I'm going to join the others out in the living area. Whenever you're ready, you're welcome to join." Yato nodded at him, and Akise thankfully left.

The god's plastered smile dropped the moment the door was closed. He stared with dull blue eyes at the coin gripped between his thumb and forefinger. Five yen. Oh, how wrong this felt…

 _So… the wish for me not to hurt their group,_ Yato thought distantly, pocketing the coin in his pants. _I wonder when Hiiro will… ah, no, that's right._

" _I trust you, Yato."_ Her words rang in his head, contributing to the growing feeling of some sort of emotional abyss.

 _Trust me, huh…? Not to get attached? Not to 'betray' her? Ah… well, she's probably right, anyway…_ Looking down at the bandages wrapping his torso without expression, he added, _I am a God of Depravity, aren't I? So there's no harm in using their resources to help myself physically… Of course, they were right: Father told me that I knew only how to take away. It's my foundation._ Looking around, he found his bloodied white shirt and black jersey folded neatly at his side. Blinking slowly, he picked up his shirt. _Maybe this situation is advantageous to me after all. You were right, Hiiro… Of course you were. If one thing's for sure, you do want to—take care of me. I guess._ He sighed lightly, lying back down with his shirt crumpled on his chest and his forearm over his eyes. _Am I supposed to act cold? Or do I pretend, as though I were the same as when I began this game?_

The hand clutching his shirt tightened into a fist. _I can only ensure that this alliance doesn't last too terribly long. Already, I feel kind of sick._

Alone in the shadows of that bedroom, Yato lay in deep contemplation, as he would for some time.

In the living area, the others waiting watched as Akise exited the bedroom quietly, closing the door behind him in all gentleness. Yukiteru, Celty, and Rika all turned to him immediately, curious of the results. Minene looked like she didn't care, but she was the one that asked: "Well?"

"He's awake," Akise smiled.

"Well, that's… good?" said Yukiteru, rubbing at his arm.

[Does he know I'm involved?] Celty's message was held up with some nervousness.

"He does," the boy detective answered. "I can't tell for sure whether he believed me when I told him about the misunderstanding with you, but he doesn't seem to have violent intent for now."

"Really?" asked Yukki brightly, hands gripped in front of him. "That's great!"

"From here, we can only be warm and welcoming." Closing his eyes, Akise seemed quite satisfied.

Rika watched him curiously from her standpoint in the area between the kitchen and the living space. It seemed this house had been torn up from the inside sometime previously in this game. Yukiteru had already cleared out most of the debris and, not sure what else to do, just put it all in a pile out behind the house. She wasn't all too sure what to think about this situation. It was pleasantly new to her, but with new experiences came the need for judgment of action. The thing Hanyuu had told her… For Akise to be connected to Yato, this _would_ make sense. Was Akise acting with pure intent, or not? _I need to ask Minene about it tonight,_ she thought, looking out to where should could see the fading light of the sky. Turning from the scene, Rika left the living space with the resolve to make everyone some tea.


	21. Debatable

**Sorry for the day-late update, everyone! Life's getting busy again...**

 **I hope you forgive me, and as always, I hope you enjoy the chapter, too!**

* * *

Shintaro was frustrated. He and the other three that remained from his broken-up allied group were in the city, going around the northern fringes and working their way down slowly. "I seriously don't want to be here anymore," he uttered under his breath. Shirou Emiya glanced back at him. Shintaro didn't notice.

Shirou had a bag slung over his shoulder containing provisions they'd found in one of the buildings they'd inspected. Shintaro still had Tsuki's medical satchel, clutching the strap with one of his hands as he trudged along after the rest of his group. Shirazu walked with his hands behind his head, relatively casual even though there was a static sort of silence between them all, save for Shintaro's occasional grumbling. Above them, the sun was beginning to set.

"Not that I haven't ever wanted to be here. At all. Seriously."

"Or any of us, Shin," sighed Shirazu.

Akira was impassively quiet, leading the way with some purpose that nobody questioned.

"I'm just a _shut-in,_ okay? Why was _I_ picked for this game, huh?" he complained.

"Hell if I know," Shirazu answered.

"I just wanna be in bed… in air conditioning… with, y'know, a certain mysterious AI annoying the hell out of me while I try to forget this terrible dream where I'm caught in a death game with a _pair of scissors_ as my weapon…"

"Certain mysterious AI?" Shirou repeated blankly.

"I don't want to talk about it." His voice was taut, breaking on the word 'talk.' "I'm not saying other people haven't lost a lot here… I'm not saying that at all… I'm just kinda bummed…"

" 'Kinda bummed' is a way to say it," Shirazu agreed soberly.

"There's something that's been really bothering me, too," Shintaro added, restlessly scratching at his black-haired head.

"What's that, Shintaro-kun?" asked Shirou mildly, adjusting his bag.

"Just—Akira." A short and blunt answer.

"Eh?" Shirazu stopped, turning to look at him. Shintaro stopped too, and then Shirou stopped a few paces ahead, looking back as well. Akira slowed to a halt herself, calmly turning around to face them all. "What's wrong with Mado? I mean—yeah. Y'know."

"Uhh… um. Not exactly what I meant, really," Shintaro mumbled. "In fact, I like Akira… a-a lot, so… It's not… I mean… Ugh." He hung his head. "Maybe I should just lay down on the pavement and never get up."

"Shin," Shirazu protested, tilting his head.

"Become one with the concrete. I'll be part of the ant kingdom."

" _Shin,_ " the orange-haired one repeated.

"Shintaro," Akira said firmly. "Is there something you'd like to say to me?"

"It's not even you!" Shintaro cried. "I just—you're, well, I mean, you're really, really amazing? I guess? No, not 'I guess' but—but you know. Well, maybe not. But I just—it's just so _stupid_ because Seidou would be talking about how there's this person that's so wonderful and fantastic and how they're so much better than him but it pisses him off because he doesn't know what to do so he just gets mad and hates them—but then he'd _compare_ me to this person and be like 'Yeah, you remind me of them, which sucks' and then I find out that it's _you, you're_ this person but I am _so_ not like you at all because you're actually cool and I'm just a lame-o jobless shut-in that can't make anything out of my worthless goddamn self all because of a _stupid_ mistake I made and I—" His hands flew to his head. "Just— _what the hell?!_ This is stupid! It's stupid! It was you, the wonderfully terrible valedictorian, apparently! And honestly I feel even _more_ stupid for spouting all this but I wanted to say sorry to you because he was supposed to before I came too late to stop him from touching that damned _pillar_ , and… and…!"

"Hey, man, that wasn't your fault…," began Shirazu, but Shintaro began shaking his head emphatically.

"That's not—my point at all…"

Akira's eyes were mournful. "Shintaro," she said again.

Shintaro's eyes were burning. "So I wanna say sorry," he said again. "There. I'm sorry. Because he was sorry and honestly I have no idea where he stands now but I'll be sorry _for_ him because—because this sucks." He finished with a matter-of-fact tone, his eyes shining with tears he absolutely refused to shed.

Lost, Shirazu looked over to Akira, who closed her eyes. The blond was impassive, but Shintaro knew why she closed her eyes. In someone's eyes you can see all sorts of things. It's hard to mask emotion that's felt so strongly. If you close your eyes, this feat is suddenly much easier. At this moment, Shintaro kinda wanted to pluck his own eyes out, as gruesome as it sounded. Would he be calm and mysterious without his eyes to give him away? Even further than that – would it be that he could no longer remember all of these parallel outcomes, haunting him like twisted dreams? He felt so… not-solid. Reality was ungrounded, his mind's eye had painted fantasies that actually existed, and he felt like he was floating out of his head. He feared the feeling of the night coming to consume him like it had before he'd even known of a girl named Ayano. That dreaded numbness, the kind that drowned you out in static and left you wondering whether you were living for real or not. Wondering if maybe existence itself was a dream.

Shintaro felt ill.

"Thank you, Shintaro," Akira said, her tone warm. She staved off the ice beginning to form with ease, but that was only one piece of what the hikkiNEET was facing currently. "You don't give yourself enough credit. It's respectable just for you to have come as far as you have."

He gave her a despairing look. He wanted to tell her that it was really just dumb luck that had brought him this far. He wanted to tell her that even though life sucked – of course it sucked for him to be where he was – Shintaro Kisaragi wasn't necessarily that resilient of a person. He was no soldier. He was no survivor of some unfathomable trauma that no one dared speak. He wasn't _made_ to be a protagonist! He wasn't 'hero' material at all!

It wasn't that he wanted to die. An indirect desire though it may be, he wasn't at the point anymore that he longed for death. Sure, he'd give his life willingly if it meant bringing back someone who deserved it: Ayano, for example. Tsuki. Hell, even Ene! Don't dare forget Psyche; don't dare leave out Delic…

He'd die just to bring Seidou back, if that was what it took.

Shintaro wanted to tell Akira that it wasn't just that he wanted other people to understand that he was hurting. He knew they were hurting with him. He knew they ached to the core, maybe worse than he'd ever understand. He knew they'd lost people too. And he knew that they understood that he was suffering alongside them, in his own way.

But it wasn't unity and empathy he was craving. He was so _tired,_ and he didn't know what to do… He wanted to tell her that it wasn't that he was hurting with them, it was that he _couldn't handle the pain,_ and he was just about ready to break down if this all didn't end soon… But it couldn't, and it wouldn't, because how could it possibly end? Sure, Ayano was dead, but she'd _been_ dead for two years. No, it was that Tsuki and Psyche had died right in front of him. It was that Kido had died. It was that _Ene_ , yeah, _Takane_ had died. It was that Saiko and Touka were off the list of the living, the latter of which he went way out of his way to try and save. It was that Roppi and Konoha weren't here. It was that Kaneki had left. It was that Seidou was gone.

And god, he felt so alone here. Of his original group, Seidou was god-knows-where doing god-knows-what… and Roppi was on his own mission with Konoha, who was also someone who could feasibly be considered close to him. To include Group 1, even Kaneki was gone, leaving only Shirazu… and unfortunately, his orange-haired comrade was someone he just had no idea how to connect with, as it was with most people.

"I just want my team back," he said eventually, his voice soft, subdued.

Awkwardly, Shirazu put a hand to Shintaro's red-jerseyed back. "…Me too, man," he said. Three casual words such as these somehow breached the gap. Behind his sharp-toothed mouth, there were words Shirazu didn't know how to speak, and for some reason, looking into those strange carroty eyes of his, Shintaro understood that really, Shirazu found just as much difficulty communicating his feelings as he did. It was odd, these simple words made perfect sense to Shintaro all of a sudden, as though they had some sort of secret code that they'd only just figured out how to use. Was it because they'd gone through enough together in this game? Was this what bonding with somebody felt like? Ah, maybe, but why put so much thought into it?

Just absorb. Just connect for once. Okay? Can we do that?

Shintaro bit his lip, unsure what to do with all of this building emotion. What was he supposed to say? There was so much he wanted to spill out. He thought he'd been holding up alright, choosing to save Roppi over giving in to his own demons. But now that Roppi was gone again along with the only person that Shintaro _had_ managed to truly save, all of it felt so stale. Was there any point? Sure there was, but it didn't _feel_ like it… And when something _feels_ like it has no point to it, no purpose, no weight, no reason… It's not exactly the best of feelings to have consuming your insides.

And Shirazu, what of him? With resurfacing memories of his late father burned into his mind; with the anxiety for the missing Kaneki, Seidou, Roppi, and Konoha striking lightning through his chest cavity; with Seidou's bone-chilling screams ringing on in his head; with the heaviness of Saiko's dead body weighing on his conscience and making him feel leaden… What was it _he_ was supposed to say?

"I know," said Shirazu.

"Yeah," said Shintaro.

Somehow, that was enough.

Closing her eyes again, Akira bowed her head as they conversed without words. She was glad they could find some form of solace within one another. Shirou's eyes were lost but empathetic. He knew not what they'd faced, but did understand loss. Understood pain. Despite Akira's emotional distance, she was the same. Shirou knew it. They all knew it, Shintaro most of all. Because when you have that aloof look in your eye, it doesn't always mean you don't care, right? Maybe it just meant you were good at compartmentalizing. Maybe it was just that you were used to shutting people out. Maybe…maybe Shintaro understood Akira pretty well, after all.

Some way or another, they got walking again. Their quiet was heavy but comfortable, like a wet blanket soaked with warm water. You don't want to remove it because you know that it'll be uncomfortable the moment it's gone… It's getting heavy, but you'd rather bear the weight than experience that displeasure.

It was Akira that removed it. "I understand," she said slowly, "that you want the rest of your team back. That is loyalty at its finest…"

 _It's not just group loyalty anymore,_ thought Shintaro. _We're a tight-knit group of… 'friends'? Is that it? Amazing… I made friends._ He almost broke into ironic laughter. The shut-in understood Akira's thoughts. With something so emotionally draining, one must turn to face such a challenge with logic. What other way was there?

"Loyalty… In honor, as well as in bonds," said Shirou, and Akira glanced back at him. "They're all very important to one another, I think," he explained, sheepishly scratching at his cheek. "Ties of the heart… can do more than you think."

"Like… what?" Shirazu frowned.

"Maybe if we talk to Seidou, he'll come back?" suggested Shintaro, and he couldn't help it anymore. A nervous titter escaped him. He wanted it to work. It's what he imagined whenever he envisioned seeing Seidou again, but honestly… How could he know whether it'd be possible?

"Maybe," Shirou agreed whole-heartedly. "There's no harm in giving it a try."

"Except if we die in the process, yeah, that'd be no problem," Shintaro answered. Shirazu frowned at him, and he spread his arms. " _What?_ It seems like _everything_ goes wrong in this game… Konoha was the exception… And—I dunno, that probably has some horrible side effect. I'm surprised he didn't come back possessed like before, really…"

"Please understand," Akira began, and Shintaro felt some kind of fear strike him at her shift in tone. Very measured, as though she were speaking as mechanically as possible. As if what she was about to say was something she very much didn't want to say. Something that ripped her up on the inside, so she'd need to portion her emotions precisely for each word. Distance herself from her own mouth. And if _she_ had to do that, what would these words do to _him_? "There is a possibility that Takizawa…" She paused. She closed her mouth for a moment. Shintaro wondered if perhaps her mouth was dry. "…That Seidou has become something of… an antagonist in this game. Shirazu, you understand what I mean. You have known him as he is now."

Shintaro's eyes flicked to the orange-haired one as he swallowed uncomfortably, his cantaloupe-colored eyes reflecting some kind of horrific memory that Shintaro hadn't seen. "Well… but… I mean—I got to… you know, talk with him as a human, and he… he's so… not _like_ that."

"That's changed," she explained patiently.

"But it could be different this time!" Shirazu cried. "I mean, he got to be friends with Kane-kun, even! And like, we're all his buddies, so I—I'm sure we can—can figure things out! I, I mean, Kane-kun has some weird moments where's totally not okay, but he always comes around, even if he does something completely heinous like stabbing one of us in the gut or tryin' ta eat us, ya know? Like, he _could_ just be like that! Like Kane-kun! Like—like _Sassan,_ right? Right, Mado…?"

"But has Kaneki killed anyone he wasn't meant to? In terms of this game, to make things simple."

"Kill…? Well, no, of course not…"

"The half-ghoul, Owl, has killed many CCG officers."

"Well, like I said, I mean… It could be… like… _different…_ because…" Shirazu deflated. He didn't know what else to say to defend his friend.

"Seidou Takizawa is the same person that he was in the beginning of this game," Shintaro said matter-of-factly. "Just because they 'fast-forwarded' him or whatever, that doesn't mean they sent him back to his world for a few years, right? It's just memory implantation at this point, isn't it? Whether what he was given was fact or fiction… right? So maybe in your heads… and his head too… he's killed these people. Let's accept that. But would he have done that, having known someone like Kaneki? When Kaneki seems like he'd probably understand a lot of the crap that happened to him in between, right? I don't know whether someone like me could have a hand in his development… but… it's worth a thought, isn't it? For argument's sake… we'll say that yeah, they tossed him back, sped him up, and—and everything went the same way. That doesn't change the fact that he's the same Seidou Takizawa who's the leader of Group 2… The same Seidou Takizawa had that long one-on-one with me the night before that big battle… The same Seidou Takizawa that gave me confidence when everything was so freaking _scary_. The Seidou Takizawa that told me off for being a dumbass. The Seidou Takizawa that _listened_ to me and did his best to understand even though he didn't know how; the Seidou Takizawa that _trusted my judgment_ even though he was the kind of guy who was heavy with doubt all the time; the Seidou Takizawa that I _risked my life for_ more than once… He's the same Seidou Takizawa that became a hero to me, so—so god damn it, I won't give up on him!"

"The same Takizawa that graduated with me at the academy," Akira agreed softly, lowly. "The same Takizawa that worked alongside myself in our workplace. The same Takizawa that fought at my side the same night he went missing. Shintaro, I know… I'm not saying that he's not someone I care about… On the contrary, I care for him more than he'll probably ever know…" There she was, closing her eyes again, this time just a bit longer than a standard blink. "It's for this very reason that we need to have this discussion… Despite our hopes, there is every possibility that he has become an antagonist in these games." She paused. "If that isn't the case, I would very much like to help him to the best of our ability. In such a case, he's most certainly more than welcome back…"

 _I don't know that he could understand how badly we all want him back…,_ thought Shintaro sadly, rubbing at the back of his neck with discomfort.

"…However, if he… If the half-ghoul Owl becomes a threat to ourselves and other groups that mean no harm, then we must come to an understanding. Under that pretense, it would be most proper for us, as his teammates, comrades, and… friends… We hold every obligation to end his suffering."

Shintaro froze. "Wait, what?"

Akira, having expected this, continued forward. Shirazu and Shirou both faltered, but followed after. The hikkiNEET hurried after them in horrified stupefaction. "If that time comes where he begins killing other players, that is when we need to consider this action. If he's killing a player that has ill intent themselves, that's a different story. I can presume that all of you understand the context I'm speaking of. At that point in time… He's just… not the person we're looking for. He's just a bloodthirsty ghoul that needs to be exterminated. And as for Seidou Takizawa… He deserves an honorable death before that gets out of hand in this place. Whatever it is that he's gone through… Whatever happened to create that outcome, it's not something Seidou Takizawa should bear. Do all of you understand?"

It was Shirou who stiffened, his feet suddenly rooted in place on the concrete of the sidewalk. Not all of them realized it, but all of them came to a halt. Akira didn't need to repeat herself, only allow the words to sink in. Shirazu bit his tongue, his eyes festering as they gazed down at his dress shoes. He knew what she meant; of course he did. He knew the devastation wrought by the half-ghoul Owl. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Owl and Seidou Takizawa were one and the same.

Shintaro felt his insides twisting within him. He was laying on his side atop an unfamiliar bed, longing for the bedroom of his own that had become his entire world for two years. He could still smell the scent of its mustiness; he missed air conditioning. He remembered something dark going through his mind, but even better he could remember the exact number of lines on the wall he stared at – a pale green striped with an off-white. Vertical lines. He imagined that the ceiling stretched far above him. He remembered the small designs inlaid within the wood of the bedside table. Every detail was clear, albeit dyed in thick anxiety and pessimistic introspection.

The gentle rapping on the door, snapping him from his thoughts. How he sat up instantly, a jolt of fear splicing his chest. The ringing sound his ears had then created for him in the silence. The second series of knocks, more insistent. More urgent.

His worried utterance of, "Is… that my door?"

The awkward and apologetic… shameful… way that Seidou had come into the room. …Yet still somehow proud. Those fiery brown eyes, brimming with simmering doubt and remorse. Shame, but always that determination.

" _Shintaro,"_ he had said, _"who you were in the past doesn't matter, either."_ The lamp had an annoying way of flickering slightly at random times. It rather bothered him. _"If you could learn to accept yourself and be happy with who you are, I think… I think that would make that girl happy, too."_

 _Ayano…_ , Shintaro thought, pained. He brought his hand to his chest, clutching at the black fabric of his V-neck shirt hiding beneath his red jersey. Oh, how Seidou had inspired him that night. There was no way he could possibly understand how much it meant to him knowing that Seidou, who supposedly despised the kind of person Shintaro was, had offered him acceptance… No, more than that. It was shocking and confusing that Seidou would go out of his way just to properly apologize. Just to make sure that Shintaro was alright.

Seidou hadn't been perfect; of course not. Shintaro was sure that Ayano, too, had her flaws. But those feelings were surely genuine, and that kind of care from anyone other than his mother or sister was something Shintaro hadn't really experienced since… since…

Let's just say that it was before he was a shut-in.

But all that had transpired between them culminated into Shintaro finding a sense of purpose and coming to the epiphany that maybe, just maybe, he could be forgiven after all. Shintaro could think of Ayano and call himself a murderer all he wanted, but surely, if he could save _one person,_ then maybe he'd be worth saving, too, right? Hadn't Seidou saved Shintaro? Hadn't Shintaro, who had lost his hero long ago, just dubbed Seidou to be a hero of today? How many others had Seidou saved? More than Seidou knew, no doubt.

The proposal Shintaro had made to him: _"Kuroha… he's not the bad one, it's the demon possessing him… Maybe I can get through to him…"_

Seidou had agreed. Seidou had told the other leaders – Kaneki; Izaya. And Seidou had assured him well enough that it would turn out okay. And god damn it, he'd managed to give Shintaro some confidence… and _that_ was saying something!

 _Maybe… I can get through to Seidou…?_ his thoughts suggested, but his grey-eyed gaze only darkened. _Or, Akira could? Kaneki?_ He bowed his head. _And yet… what happened with my plan to help Konoha free himself of Kuroha? Psyche was brutally murdered, of course. Tsuki, Yukine, and Shizuo all ended up dead. In the end, I had to give up on that hope, didn't I? There was no other choice but killing him… Even if we have Konoha now, it's only because he was killed at some point, and Aureus brought him back as himself. Granted, Seidou isn't exactly possessed… but everyone has their demons, I guess._ It was Shintaro's time to close his eyes. _Does that mean that Akira might be right after all…? Will we have to end Seidou just the same? What, is this my price for getting Konoha back? What the hell…_

"No."

Akira looked at the speaker: Shirou.

The auburn-haired boy stood in firm opposition to Akira's proposal, his hands clenched into fists at either side. "There's no way," he said firmly.

"Do explain," Akira answered him calmly.

"That guy, Seidou Takizawa, wasn't he someone important to all of you? No, that part doesn't even matter… Shintaro's right about him being the same person you guys remember in a positive light, so give him a little more credit! People can change, for better or for worse… He could be an absolute villain now for all I care, but isn't it true that he once valued the ideals of something heroic?"

Shintaro felt something splicing his chest again. At this rate he'd be torn in half.

"This," said Akira, "is precisely the reason—"

"You saying that it's better for him to be _dead?_ " Shirou snapped. "He's not a dog you're supposed to put down – what, you're saying he's a lost cause? You're just going to give up on him? Why jump to that conclusion without at least _trying_ to save him? Huh?"

"Shirou," Akira responded coolly, "you can't save everyone."

He faltered. "But there's nothing wrong with _trying_ , is there?"

"You shouldn't judge what's best for someone you don't know." There was masked pain in her words.

"I'm not trying to impose or anything, but I've got to disagree with you if you're gonna say that killing this guy off is the best we've got for him! We don't _do_ that to people! We try to _help_ them!"

"And how do you propose we do that?" she shot back, tone level but beginning to sound strained.

"Shirou… bud, maybe we should just drop it for now," suggested Shirazu uncomfortably.

"I'm just saying that maybe we should take into consideration that it _could_ be that we just need to actually _try,_ " Shirou frowned, his eyes on fire.

"As if we don't _want_ to," Shintaro said in pained tones, posture tense and hand clutching tightly the strap of the medical bag.

"Then should we go along with this mercy-kill idea? I think it's terrible!"

"You speak as though I haven't gone through all other options," Akira said slowly, lowly. "You speak as though I haven't had experience of loss."

"As much as this sucks," Shirazu added, "it's not like Akira doesn't care or nothin'… She's gotta know what she's doing, here. She's known Seidou for forever, so she's gotta have some idea… of what's best…"

"How can killing a person be what's best for them?" Shirou protested. "That _can't_ be the way to save somebody…!"

"But sometimes no matter hard you try, you can't be a hero all the time!" cried Shintaro. "Sometimes you lose people no matter what!"

"And what're we supposed to do if it's the wrong choice?" he pressed.

"H…how do I know?" Shirazu asked, brow creased.

"Give me a break, here…," uttered Akira, bowing her head. Her hand was at her mouth, her eyes shrouded by her pale bangs.

"What if talking to him doesn't work? What do we do, then?" asked Shintaro in turn. "What if he doesn't listen, no matter what we try? What, do we leave him like that?"

"I—"

"Does _anyone_ know the right choice?" asked Shirazu desperately.

" _Is_ there a 'right' choice?" Shintaro added grimly.

"One mustn't harbor regret, only continue forward," Akira said flatly.

"But for something like that—!" argued Shirou further, and his words were halted by Shirazu's bark of, " _Wait a minute!_ "

The four of them were suddenly silent. There was a pause.

"…Wh…what is it?" asked Shintaro tentatively.

"People are coming," said Akira urgently.

"But who…?" Shirazu's voice was anxious.

"We'll find out soon enough. Prepare yourselves," said Akira with authority. Before she'd finished, Shirou had already uttered a _'Trace on'_ under his breath, his two short swords materializing in his hands.

Another group was upon them.


	22. Lies and Truths

Roppi had already apologized to Shinichi, Hide, and Rin, albeit grudgingly. It was a very awkward and uncomfortable gesture. Shinichi and Hide forgave him easy, but Rin was giving him quite a hard time as they trekked further on their journey to try and reconnect with the rest of Roppi's and Kaneki's groups, ready and willing to walk through the night if necessary. Roppi and Kaneki, on the way, began explaining to the other four the current situation surrounding the Harrowing Blade. They didn't bring up the Harrowing Blade itself – rather, they were discussing the interference of the game masters with Seidou's fate, and how they were going to break it. They all agreed to do what they could to help (excluding Rin, who was rather grumpy in her opinions on the matter even though she ended up agreeing in the end). It was unanimous that it was considered a plan that would not be solidified until it was discussed with Shintaro, Akira, and the like.

Konoha, in the meantime, made sure that everyone was well fed in his quest to share food with everyone. He was very sad to discover that Kaneki couldn't fathomably share food with him because it would make him very sick. The shame that the half-ghoul exuded upon this particular discussion was something far more potent than Roppi had ever gathered from him, but judging by the way he averted his eyes from the boy Hide, he figured that perhaps it had to do with their relationship.

Apparently Hide had also noticed the shift. "Kaneki," he said eventually, and the other had to look at him again. "Stop worrying so much about what I've missed. About you being a ghoul and all…?" He grinned lopsidedly. "I already knew, man… I already knew."

Shinichi savored the shocked relief in Kaneki's pale grey eyes. He could just _sense_ the disbelief; the weight being lifted from his tired shoulders. It was refreshing. Somehow beautiful.

Roppi noticed that there was far less shame being exuded after that conversation. He was also keenly aware of the constant verbal prodding performed by Rin Tohsaka, who apparently was doing everything in her power to piss him off.

 _If I'm supposed to be nice to her… she's really, really pushing it…_

"Ugh, he's no tough guy after all, Shinichi," she remarked, rolling her eyes.

"No?" Shinichi replied, blinking blankly.

Roppi glared into the distance.

"Roppi is most certainly a tough guy," said Konoha mildly. "Not that I know what that means."

"Thanks a bunch, Konoha," Roppi sighed.

Rin snickered.

"Keep the teasing to a minimum, Rin-chan," warned Hide. "Ya _could_ actually get him to answer you."

"No conflict, please," Kaneki said calmly, closing his eyes momentarily.

"No, of course not," Rin answered easily. "We're just making conversation, right, Roppi?"

"I want to punch you in the throat," he informed, and she gave a bark of laughter.

"Roppi-kun, might I request your conversation?" asked Kaneki, making an attempt at saving Roppi from something that could potentially lead to his eruption. Obviously Roppi was trying very hard to contain himself, but that didn't mean he wouldn't break at some point.

"Sure," Roppi answered curtly.

Hide caught his friend's drift without words, dragging Rin into a conversation with Konoha about what sort of person Konoha was and what sort of abilities he had. ("Oh, I am an android, I suppose… I can do things like carry cars if I want, or heal something that hurts on me… Or at least, I thought I could. It only worked once in this place, and that was when I woke up from dying. I can't even die right, which doesn't make sense, I guess…")

"Please bear with the company," Kaneki smiled at Roppi, and the bitter one sighed heavily.

"You say that like it's an easy thing to do…" Roppi's red eyes were at the ground, watching his own feet as he walked. "I'm not made for dealing with people… I hate everyone, you know."

"Is that really true, though?"

Roppi didn't want to look at Kaneki.

"I understand now what it was you were trying to do, at that time… Now that I know what that weapon is… You were aiming to do it to Light-kun, weren't you? Why was that?"

"…I know that I don't hate everyone," he mumbled irately. "I—didn't want… Kaneki, I don't want to talk about it."

"Of course," Kaneki answered apologetically.

"It's just that… even if I do care, I don't want to admit it, which sucks… And then when I try to help, I do nothing but make things worse…" Roppi drew his lips into a thin line. "I hate it. I just—" Roppi's voice lowered to an utterance beneath his breath. "…Can I not save _one_ from the pitiless wave…?"

Kaneki paused, glancing over at the dark one. "…Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?" he finished, and Roppi stared at him. "You enjoy Edgar Allan Poe," Kaneki smiled gently, and Roppi swallowed.

"Y…yeah, he's my favorite writer…"

"I do enjoy his work," said Kaneki soberly, his eyes distant. That was right, hadn't Seidou said something, too…?

Yes, though his memories were patchy in his Harrowed state; in his kakuja state, hell… He could hear him, loud and clear, that tormented boy that he was: _"Don't get me wrong,"_ he'd said. _"It's not like I can't empathize with you… I get it. I totally get it. Here's a taste of irony for you…"_ And from there, he'd gone on to quote another piece of the very same poem. Indeed, as Kaneki had recited a piece of it himself before Seidou the human… they'd almost covered the span of it, hadn't they? He could only think of two small sections that had been left out as of yet.

 _Whether the Harrowing Blade is the best option or not, we must do something for him. At the time I'd seen him again, I wish… I…_

Kaneki sighed lightly, and Roppi's eyes flitted to him with some fear. "…Ah, what is it?" he asked the half-ghoul. Though Kaneki knew he meant well, it certainly sounded like he was asking in grudging irritation.

"It's nothing," he assured him in answer, touching his chin gently. "I'm just thinking on what's coming up ahead."

"…Ah…" Both of them departed from one another and into their own thoughts. "Yeah…"

It wouldn't be long before they were drawn back into conversation by Hide, by Rin. Konoha was getting rather excited to find Shintaro again. Shinichi was silently wondering whether Yukiteru and A-ya were doing alright. Rin and Roppi quickly fell to quarrelling while Hide happily conversed with everyone at once, drawing in even Kaneki and Shinichi. The two partial-whatevers made eye contact momentarily, finding some form of connection in the glance. Shinichi's eyes flickered, and he paused, turning his head to look elsewhere.

Konoha, too, tilted his head, as though listening.

"Someone is just a bit away," said the partial-parasite, and the android nodded in agreement, his brow furrowed.

"Izaya's group is nearby," Roppi warned sourly. "I've mentioned that, didn't I, Kaneki?"

"You did," Kaneki mused, thinking about this.

"It's not just that… It's…?" Shinichi closed his eyes, his senses expanding at the loss of his sight. Upon their opening, his throat preparing to tell the others of what he'd heard, a crash interrupted them, sending a mild tremor through the ground. A sudden urgency filled them all. Everyone turned to either Shinichi or Kaneki, and the two of them looked at one another in shock at the others' dependency on _them_ , of all people. Shinichi rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish smile.

"Let's tread carefully, but be quick," Kaneki said curtly.

"Who woulda thought! Ken Kaneki, the kid who never partakes in clubs at school! A leader, I say, a leader!" exclaimed Hide with good-natured amusement. "I _knew_ you had it in ya!" They were off.

* * *

"That was almost really bad," remarked Twelve, his hands to his head in all casualness as he walked alongside Suzuya after Izaya and A-ya. "I'm still a little confused on the whole purpose of that though, you know? Like… Kuroha, that was his old vessel, yeah? Why'd he jump at the chance to get to him?"

"He want the body back?" suggested Suzuya, pulling idly at one of the threads in his throat. "Good body, prob'ly."

"Something like that would be a bit like betrayal, wouldn't it?" Izaya inquired amusedly.

"I don't know whether he really wants to be back with that body, but it wouldn't make sense to me… if that were the case," A-ya admitted. "I… suppose I understand, if that body were more useful. I guess it depends on what he thinks of that… vessel…" He paused. "…Ah. Wrong."

"Wrong?" Twelve and Suzuya said together.

A-ya shook his head, closing his eyes. " _I don't wish to return to that body,_ " he said lowly. Suzuya and Twelve were beginning to get used to his little flips between the dully mischievous A-ya and the cold and cruel Kuroha. " _That brat… knowing he's alive, it's not that I want to use him again… No, absolutely not… On the contrary…_ " A-ya's mouth twisted into that distorted smile that didn't seem to quite fit on his face. " _I'd rather kill him. Ah, better yet… I'd like to let him suffer, first… I'd like to incapacitate him and tear his world away from him again… I'd like to open his chest to the elements, pry open his ribs and force him to look into his empty chest cavity, yes, force him to realize that there really is no heart in his chest, he is a fake, a fabrication – and an empty vessel is all that he'll ever be…!_ " His words spilled from his mouth in growing malice, distaste sharpening his enunciations.

"That's a complete enough description, I think," Twelve remarked, rubbing behind his ear with an eyebrow cocked. Suzuya, who was staring blankly at the dark-clad demon, glanced momentarily at the terrorist.

"Huh," was all he had to say about that.

"But A-ya, how do you know the demon isn't lying?" Twelve inquired with a shrug, and Izaya laughed a bit.

"Even though I don't know his thoughts," A-ya answered, a slight shakiness to his tone, "but… I can definitely feel his emotions…" He paused. "Twelve, that's the wrong thing to ask, anyway."

"Mm?" Twelve blinked his bright eyes at him. "How's that?"

"There's no such thing as that… In this world, there are only things that sound like lies, and things that sound like truth. That's all there is, and all there will ever be."

"That's such a broad spectrum!" Twelve laughed.

"But… what?" Suzuya's eyes narrowed in confusion. "If someone says something that they know isn't true, though…"

"Think on the premise of 'truth is stranger than fiction,' then," A-ya said simply. "Whatever it is they say, if you can't tell it's a lie, doesn't it sound like truth?"

"I… guess…?"

"Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of the search for ultimate truth, and all that?" inquired Twelve. "Under that logic, truth doesn't matter, does it?"

"Nothing really matters in the end, does it?" answered A-ya easily.

"Talk about pessimism," snickered Izaya.

"Nothing matters, huh?" repeated Twelve, thoughtful. "I'd have to disagree, myself. Something like what you said, A-ya… You know that kinda makes you sound like a liar, right?"

"I know." His voice was dull and distant. _Hey, L… I'm that kind of demon too,_ he thought, addressing the deceased detective. _Ironically, it was the discovery of 'truth' that ended you. But whereas you were offed by a god, I've been revived by the devil. Who's the genius now?_

He wanted to be childishly happy about the accomplishment, but he still felt so ill thinking about L. Thinking about Roy was worse. Roy, who had snapped him out of his head when he was arguably about to shut down for good…. Roy's death cut into him far deeper than he'd ever like to say.

… **I know you're possessed, but there's no need to call me 'the devil,'** the serpent answered him. **To be precise, I'm not even a 'demon' by definition, I suppose.**

 _It depends on your definition._

 **You're… not wrong.**

"What an interesting mentality, I have to say!" exclaimed Izaya, raising his hands. "Cast aside reality for the idea of _perception_ , right? What one perceives becomes one's reality. It's an inevitable part of our existence. Even if something is not 'real,' not 'truth'… It can still _become_ 'truth' if someone believes it, right? Isn't that what you're saying?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," A-ya concurred.

"It's like the logic of 'emotional reality,'" Twelve came back in. "Ah, and how feelings skew your perception, am I right?" He shook his head. "Fine, fine, I _do_ see where you're coming from."

"The idea of the monster known as a 'liar'…" A-ya trailed off, his red eyes distant. Izaya's eyes flickered to him for just a moment before returning to watching ahead. "The 'sin of lying,' I guess it is."

Suzuya's eyes unclouded, he tilted his head. This made far more sense to him than the previous direction the conversation had been going.

"That kind of crime," explained A-ya, "cannot be judged properly by people as 'people.' Because… even if you say something that is really, truly a _lie,_ but you make it _sound like truth,_ it _becomes truth_ , in a sense, doesn't it? If you can convince everyone of your words, you are not guilty. That's what's so scary about someone we call a 'liar.'"

"In that case," Suzuya said seriously, "the only one that can judge a 'liar' is themselves."

"They are their own jury," Twelve agreed. "But if they're lying to themselves… if they convince themselves they're innocent, where does the sin go?"

"It…" Suzuya took pause.

"That's just it!" A-ya said, his voice strained in its nihilistic mirth. "There is no law to pardon that sin, and yet none to punish it either! Whether something is 'real truth' or 'false truth,' it becomes truth all the same. It just doesn't matter anymore! If one of these sinners were to carry their regrets, the very worst part is that only _they_ will know it. It is only a part of _their_ reality, that's all. No one else's. And if they've let go of that regret, well… they've gone around creating new truths in the world. What power is that? How wonderful; how terrible…"

"And then, what if someone were to prove them wrong?" Twelve's eyes were glimmering. "What then?"

"Then that reality is shattered."

"And what's left after that?" asked Suzuya. "If it can't be 'truth' anymore…"

"Aa, what's left…" Izaya's laugh had a darker note to it. "What's left is someone who doesn't exist anymore. That sinner would have had to _create themselves_ for that 'lying reality,' wouldn't you say? In destroying their fabricated reality, it's really destroying the part they've been playing all along. To prove their every word wrong is to prove their _existence_ wrong."

"What is that, then?" The CCG officer picked absently at his lower lip. "Is that person someone who 'seems like a lie,' or someone who 'seems like truth'?"

"Neither," Twelve answered soberly. "They're just a fool."

"…Ah." Suzuya stopped picking at his lip. "I see." He began to hum a droning, dull note. "Twelve?"

"Hm?"

"When will Izaya be the fool instead of the fooler?"

"Ah—" Twelve was obviously alight with amusement. He turned to the informant.

Izaya had already erupted with laughter. "Hah? So brutally _honest_ , Suzu-chan! I can't take it!" He paused in walking, waving Suzuya off. "No, no, it's not that I'm offended, don't worry about that! Really, I completely understand! Me, well, sometimes even _I_ can't trust myself, you see~" He ended with continuous dry mirth that died into snickers that he simply could not contain.

A-ya watched the scene dully, his eyes flickering occasionally with a light that was not his own. He closed his eyes, allowing a calm to spread through him. He thought to himself that the universe was vast, empty, and cold. Cruel. Such a feeling began to fill him. He could outlast eternity; he could freeze over hell. It was a thick feeling, though, too thick to be something like outer space. It was not like the star-filled midnight that he once gazed upon with Yukiteru, no, this was an expanse of viscous, sinful honey.

He heard people ahead. A-ya knew what came next.

"Keep in mind," said Izaya, "that Roppi-san and the android are still somewhere nearby, most likely. We'll be wary of such an encounter, yeah, A-ya-kun?"

" **A group is just ahead now,** " A-ya and Kuroha answered, their serpentine orbs seeming to cut through the air they gazed through. He was looking straight ahead.

Twelve and Suzuya paused. The CCG officer tilted his head, questioning.

"What's the plan, A-ya-kun?" inquired Izaya lightly, his tone cautious.

" **We need to thin them out,** " they answered, tone dead.

The informant seemed to think on this while Suzuya looked to Twelve and the terrorist watched Izaya intently, waiting to see what he'd do. "I've come to find," said the information broker, "that in this game, you can't go around killing people. To go from group to group, being able to slaughter a lot of people at once is next to impossible – the most you can catch is two at most, in any given situation. If you go the genocide route, it's a very slow process that usually gets you brutally injured and eventually killed. It's the way this game is run. Surely Kuroha-san remembers this from his first attempt running through this game, yeah? Were you ever able to commit the bloodshed you'd intended?"

A-ya's body shuddered as though in protest. " _You think I don't know that?_ " he asked, voice acid. " _It just depends on how you go about it… that's all. I can't kill a whole group at once, huh? Then all I need to do…_ **is split them up, as all.** It makes sense, doesn't it, Izaya?"

"Oh, _I_ see!" Izaya spread his arms. "One at a time, hah? You going to do the splitting?"

A-ya's eyes bored into him. " **…Yes,** " they answered eventually.

"Good, good!" He clapped his hands a few times. "Isn't that just perfect, then? Why don't the rest of us – we three here, see – why don't we play a game of our own, hah? It's a scavenger hunt – we'll do what we can to our targets, too… How's that, A-ya-kun?"

" **A game…** ," A-ya repeated. "Yes," he said, "let's do that."

Twelve and Suzuya looked on as Izaya pulled them right on ahead into this terrible plot.

" **I'll scatter them now.** " The voice that was A-ya's had an apologetic note to it, but the other voice had a tone to it that suggested the beginning of some obligatory mission. " _I don't expect any of you to do anything foolish,_ " the demon added, eyeing all three of the others, one at a time.

"I'm no fool," Izaya smiled wryly, his hand always on the hilt of the Prophet.

"Yeah, yeah," Twelve waved the possessed one off. "I get it."

"So the mission is kill who we find?" inquired Suzuya, tugging at a strand of his snow-white hair. His eyes were wide and unreadable.

" _Do with them as you will. Incapacitate them instead, if you want. Let's test out this theory, shall we?_ " Pausing here, the dark-clad demon's eyes flitted upwards momentarily. The goddess that hid beyond their perception shuddered fearfully. Hanyuu deeply regretted having to follow them around. How could the news be possibly brought Yukiteru that A-ya was doing something like this? What's more, was she supposed to do something? Due to the nature of her existence, there wasn't much _to_ do within the realm of her power right now…

Suzuya saluted to A-ya with blank expression. "Alright! Understood."

A breathy laugh escaped A-ya's pale lips, his mouth curling slightly. " **Begin.** " The dark-clad hero bounded into the air and after the group who awaited them just beyond the building he was leaping over now.


	23. Hide-and-Seek

_A breathy laugh escaped A-ya's pale lips, his mouth curling slightly. " **Begin.** " The dark-clad hero bounded into the air and after the group who awaited them just beyond the building he was leaping over now._

"Well," said Izaya, pleased, "we're still close by; no reason to get ourselves killed by being traitors. Shall we?"

Suzuya's head was bowed in inscrutable emotion… or lack thereof.

"Oi, Izaya, I've got a question for ya," said Twelve, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he lifted one of his grenades from his belt. He began to casually toss it into the air and catch it, again and again without thought. It was treated as an insignificant object – say, a potato. It was hardly strange to the other two, who would play the same idle games with knives. "Your original theory; your original plan… Whatever happened to it?" Izaya smiled thinly at him, eyes narrowing. "Whatever happened to the 'ultimate alliance,' huh? Just scrap it, or what?"

Silently, Izaya merely put a finger to his lips, hushing him before spinning playfully around and prancing away as the first impact sent shivers through even the ground beneath their feet.

The possessed boy had perched atop the roof of the building separating his group and their current target – a group of four whom A-ya had never interacted with himself. He sensed the serpent's thrill at seeing one he called "Recorder." Comically, they were distracted by inner conflict at first while A-ya looked down on them without expression. The sky was darkening. The sun was beginning to set.

 **Tell yourself that it's just business.**

He could feel Kuroha's sharp-toothed grin, and his insides writhed at the image. _I'm working with three others, and somehow I feel more isolated than ever._

 **No reason to kid yourself, Loner… You've always been isolated.**

 _Is it that I'm alone again?_

 **That you are.**

 _Ah… I thought so._

It was oddly satisfying, watching the group beneath him freeze. Even more to stand on that ledge, his tips of his shoes teetering off the edge. He knew that as a human, this drop would have killed him. There was deep gratification as he slid from the ledge and freefell down five stories, his stomach lifting and his cerebral spirits soaring with the demon's lust for the production of this oncoming tragedy. He felt less like he was falling and more like the air beneath him was parting just to make way for his presence.

He heard the harsh bark of the word " _Above!_ " from the only female of the group, but the orange-haired one and the redhead were already looking as the dark-clad hero landed with calamitous grace, the asphalt fracturing beneath him like A-ya's crumbling psyche. The one Kuroha called Recorder cried out in alarm.

Red static surrounded him. The serpent took over for instinct as the redheaded one, Shirou, went at him whilst dual-wielding his two short swords. He swiftly slipped out of his range and into Akira's, then jumping into the air to avoid them and the physical attack about to be dealt him by Shirazu. Shintaro was backing up, slow and halting. As they fought, A-ya began amassing his dark-clad energy, the air filled with electricity. In one grand swoop of his arms, he sent all four of his opponents skidding backwards a few paces. Shirou immediately charged again, his teeth gritted. Lightning struck where he was about to step, and he faltered, backing up with narrowed eyes of golden-brown.

" **Stop that, will you?** " A-ya's hand were to his face, his body hunched forward. His presence exuded darkness that contrasted with the afternoon light. " **No…** _I have other group members. You lot are surrounded, you know. Understand? Every man for themselves._ " Raising his head, he dropped his hands, fingers curled slightly as if in some unconscious desire to grasp something that wasn't there. An eerie smile stretched across his features, a manic glint in his shining crimson eyes. " **Let's… play hide-and-seek.** "

The air was hyper-charged – none of the four targets dared get too close for fear of electrocution. Shirou looked like he wanted to pounce anyway, but even the martyr was smart enough not to make a move yet.

" **I will give you twelve seconds. Ready?** " Without waiting for a response, the possessed one plowed his fist into the street, lightning flashing around him and aiding in his goal to destroy the basic landscape. A clear street was too damned boring, and who was to say they'd actually play along if he didn't give them incentive? If he didn't give them a chance to properly hide? He needed to _separate_ them, not inspire retreat.

The upturned city street sent Shintaro, Akira, Shirazu, and Shirou alike in varying states of disorientation. Shintaro had fallen backwards, slipping on the lopsided blacktop and landing hard on his tailbone, only to consequently slam his shoulder as he lost his balance trying to protect the medical bag. Shirazu, although surprised, was able to jump around enough not to be too terribly effected. Shirou, who had managed with only the dematerialization of his swords and a few scrapes, turned with concern to Akira, whose leg had been caught in the rubble. As life goes, it only made sense that she hurt the ankle that was already sprained. Complications, complications.

"… **Four… Five…** "

"Everyone, find shelter!" Akira barked, and all at once the others began scrambling to escape the messy street and take refuge in one of the nearby buildings.

"Mado-san, are you alright?!" Shirazu cried. "I ain't leavin' nobody!"

"I'm fine!"

"I've got her!" assured Shirou.

Shintaro listened to the chaos and to the ringing in his ears. To the numbers steadily climbing to the sureness of his demise. " **…Eight… Nine…** " Grimacing, Shintaro forced himself to move, scrabbling through the rubble and staggering into a door that he practically slammed himself into on accident. He moved on autopilot, his breathing already haggard.

 _When I get home,_ he thought, _I'm never gonna have to exercise ever again. Not that I ever did at all. And not that I'll actually make it home._ Wincing at the thought, he slipped into one of the thin corridors, his heart beating like a bass drum in his ears. It throbbed; his head ached. _I'm sick of this._ Looking around, he found he had no idea where he wanted to hide anyway. _What's the point of hiding from…?_ A chill ran down his spine. It was him, wasn't it? That snake. Surely…

"He came back after all," he breathed, dragging himself up the stairs as fast as his fatigued self could go. "Please let everyone else be okay… Please, oh please…" He passed through hallway on hallway – this place was a maze. He eventually leaned against a wall of beige, clutching his chest as he tried to stop himself from wheezing. In his attempt to silence himself, he tried to listen to his surroundings. _I should find an inconspicuous room or something._ He heard footsteps echoing through the halls, and his heart suddenly began freaking out in his chest again. _Crap. Crap. Crap._ Holding his breath, he inched towards the turn in the hallway. The footsteps got louder; he felt positive they were coming from the way ahead. In all caution, he peered around the corner, searching for someone waiting for him down the next hallway. The abandoned corridor he looked at contrary to his expectations oddly gave him even more anxiety. He watched the stillness for some time before beginning to creep forward, ready to tip-toe to the nearest closet and—

" _I found you~_ "

Shintaro's head snapped back as a hand grasped at his mouth from behind – he didn't have the time to gasp or scream. He found himself being dragged backwards, too numbly frightened to fight back too terribly much. He was jerked back into a dark room, the door closed in front of him with a soft _click._

"Don't scream," said his seeker, soft and low, and Shintaro finally found the nerve to fight as he was released, nearly sending himself tumbling to the floor in a straight-out faceplant. Wheeling around, the shut-in saw Izaya Orihara looking at him, his eyes glimmering even in the dark, his smirk-smile cruel as ever.

"I—Izaya?" Shintaro stuttered, unsure of how to take his arrival. Was he still being threatened, or not?

The informant brought his silver-ringed finger to his lips. "Don't be too loud, now, Shintaro-kun. You don't want Kuroha-san to find you, do you?"

He stiffened, swallowing thickly.

"I didn't think so," Izaya smiled, gesturing for Shintaro to follow him to the corner of the room next to the door. If the door were to open, it would be blocking them from sight for anyone that happened to walk in. Side-by-side, they backed against the wall. Shintaro felt hopelessly terrified. At least it was kind of like he was in some cool anime.

"So, um—" How should he put this? "…Uh, Izaya… are you… er, on… our side, or…?"

"Well, yes and no, to be honest," Izaya answered, and Shintaro frowned at him as the Eskimo began toying with his beige-trimmed sleeve. "You see, after Roppi-san went on his little machine gun spree, I can't be entirely sure that you that you _like_ me anymore."

"I _never_ liked you," Shintaro informed him with deep exasperation.

He snickered in answer. "Fine, fine; I apologize. I didn't know whether I'd be welcomed by your teams any longer, or whether I'd be treated as an enemy."

Shintaro's eyes narrowed. "I mean, Yato tried to kill us after the fact."

"And Seidou tried to kill us," Izaya shrugged. "So did Roppi, but you know that. I think both of them _really_ don't like me."

"I don't blame them or anything…"

"Oi, keep in mind I'm helping you out here, Shintaro-kun," Izaya told him with a cold half-smile that seemed more strained than anything.

Shintaro decided to hold his tongue on that. "Uh… But, um… so… Seidou…?"

"Seidou's changed quite a bit, it seems," Izaya grinned at him. "Yes, he most certainly tried to kill me, not to mention he attacked Suzu-chan, who apparently knows him. When he showed up, he seemed to already have some blood on hands… and around his mouth. He needs a napkin, at least. Completely immodest. Messy. _Inhuman,_ perhaps?"

Shintaro furrowed his brow uncomfortably.

"To say I'm not curious would be a lie," he chuckled. "What _did_ happen, Shintaro-kun?"

"What happened to Yato?" Shintaro shot back.

"Good answer," Izaya laughed quietly. "That aside… Shintaro-kun, in respect to whether I'm on your side… let's say 'yes.' I want to help you out."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously, but Izaya only shrugged.

"You're interesting. You and I were still allied at one point, you know. I'm relatively sure that you agreed to it mostly because you wanted to avoid conflict, am I right? But I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to create the ultimate alliance. The allied Groups 1 and 2 were arguably the most successful one of the game! Even though everyone's scattered now, it seems that you're still with Shirazu-kun, right? Well. There's also that you've miraculously survived thus far, which is pretty good for a hikkiNEET such as yourself. There _must_ be something going on here, unless you want to make the argument of dumb luck?"

He drew his lips into a thin line, avoiding eye contact.

"Really!" the informant scoffed. "You need more confidence, friend!" As he spoke, he brought an arm around the red-jerseyed boy's shoulders. Shintaro very much disagreed with the gesture, shoulders bunching in discomfort. "That goal of mine hasn't changed one bit, Shintaro-kun. And _you're_ the only one I'm going to tell that fact. You should feel special!"

"Only me? But _why?_ "

"I _do_ like A-ya-kun… but both you and I know that if he's Kuroha's new vessel, he either must be controlled or eliminated." Izaya paused, and Shintaro stared, troubled, at the deep grey tiles beneath his feet. After a few beats too many were spent in silence, the NEET turned to his head to look back at Izaya. He couldn't make out the informant's eyes, but he wasn't smiling or anything. It was a rather dark expression.

"…Um…?"

"That being said," Izaya continued, "I want you to continue collecting other groups in my stead. For now, I'm going to have a little fun behind 'enemy lines,' so to speak. I don't know what to do with the poor unfortunate soul that was A-ya-kun, but I know I can't exactly exorcize him. Yato-san could, I'm sure, but I doubt he'll be doing such a thing now. If we unite against the demon, it will only end the same as last time, right, Shintaro-kun? This sword right here… I call it the Prophet. It might be able to kill Kuroha. It might be able to kill Yato-san, who has now become the same sort of threat… It most certainly can work against Nora, who I don't particularly agree with on any point. Everyone knows that she needs to go, too… This game can't end until the warmongers are gone. It seems that the game masters are trying to make one out of Seidou-kun, too… which means they're going to try and drive his decisions the way they want them to go. Hah… Good luck with that one."

Shintaro frowned.

"If you meet anyone by the name of Aru Akise, be wary of him," he added, and the shut-in blinked.

"The silver-haired one that had the bullet-proof vest?"

"The one and only," Izaya smirked. "It's not that he's inherently _bad_ or anything… just rather suspicious."

"Uh-huh…" Shintaro drew his lips into a thin line. "So then, why should I believe anything you're telling me right now, huh? How do I know for sure what you're saying is true?"

He shrugged once again. "Faith?"

"That's definitely not gonna cut it, here," the red-jerseyed one sighed. "How do I know you're not just saying that stuff; how do I know you're not actually on the side of the snake, huh?"

"Do you really think I'd want to side with a legitimate demon?" Izaya snickered.

"No, I think you're too smart to _pretend_ to side with a legit demon who will _rip your head off_ if you betray him," Shintaro frowned.

"Call me a rebel," he grinned, and Shintaro could only shake his head.

"I don't know if I can believe you."

"That's perfectly okay. I wouldn't believe me either," he admitted.

"If you really _are_ pretending, what are you _thinking?_ Kuroha's gonna know; he's _gotta_ know! He's figured it out with other people; he'll figure it out with you too, Izaya – you're going to get yourself _killed._ Do you _want_ that? But even if you agreed with that creepy snake, I wouldn't be surprised either!"

"Like I said, do you really think—?"

"You have before! You have before, and you could do it again! He's used you as a tool, and he'll do it again! What am I supposed to _do_ , here?!"

Izaya stared back at him silently, a smile of interest slowly curling his mouth. "Ah, Shintaro-kun… Have your eyes always glowed like that?"

"Ah—" Shintaro hastily tried to bring his hands to his now-red eyes.

"Is it that you're possessed too? Or have you just always been a monster?" Izaya was leaning in closer, his eyes glimmering in his icy curiosity.

"S-stop that, I just—no, I'm not possessed, I don't think— It's not like this has always happened, just sometimes—in some games, in some—routes… um…"

"You know about the previous games?" Izaya asked blankly.

"He remembers the other routes?" piped up Hanyuu in equal amounts of alarm, upon which Shintaro let out a yelp of shock at her sudden reveal.

"Wh—who are _you?_ "

"Who are _you?_ " Hanyuu cried right back. "Explain yourself, right now!"

"I—"

An explosion rocked the foundation beneath them, sending Shintaro to his knees. Unsurprised, Izaya smiled at the ceiling, his hand to the wall.

"Au, au—uauauuu…!" wailed Hanyuu, but Izaya only gave a soft _heh._

"Seems Twelve's getting a little bit bold, isn't he?"

Shintaro's stomach dropped. "T…Twelve?"

The spraying of the smoke-activated sprinklers answered him.

"We should leave the building," said Izaya simply, and grabbed Shintaro by the wrist, pulling him quickly from the room before the shut-in even had a chance to respond, let alone protest.

* * *

Twelve watched Izaya go, shaking his head. The informant didn't have to warn them any further not to go against the demon. Twelve couldn't help but laugh at him. "But he didn't answer me, did he? Jeez."

There was a cracking sound as Suzuya's scythe went into the ground. Twelve looked at him curiously. "I'd better be good. I'd better. Gotta be a good boy, don't I?"

The terrorist tilted his head. "Why's that?"

"I wouldn't want Mama to be cross with me," Suzuya answered him, lifting his head and staring at the other with a wide smile edging on mania. "Right, Rei-chan?" and he began to titter.

Twelve thought on this. "How about this, Suzuya?"

"Wazzat?" He'd taken on a dark tone, his eyes wide but shadowed, ear cocked so that he could hear what he needed to where the action was.

"You want to be an accomplice to a terrorist?"

"…Accomplice?"

"You wanna help me out?" he beamed, spreading his arms. "You don't have to listen to Izaya, and you don't have to listen to the snake demon. You don't have to listen to your mama. You don't have to listen to this game. Ah… but you don't have to listen to me, either, in that case. It's all up to you. My point's that you do what you wanna do. Get it?"

"What… I…?"

"But hey, if you wanna help me out, say so." He grinned wider, shutting his eyes. "It'd be a real blast; promise!"

Suzuya blinked at him, returning to his original state of blank disconnection. "Uh…"

The ground shook beneath them, quaking harshly to the point of sending both of them into a crouching position, one hand on the ground. "You know," commented Twelve, "I think it's real cool that you're left-handed."

"Ah… Thanks."

They just kinda looked at one another for a bit before Twelve began to laugh. Suzuya joined him, even though he wasn't altogether sure why. But that made it real, so it was okay. "What do I do?" Suzuya asked him as the terrorist got this his feet again.

"Hm?" He gave him a knowing look. "You helping me out after all?"

"Depends. What do I do?" he repeated.

Grinning ear-to-ear, Twelve pulled a collection of plastic baggies from his shorts pocket and tossed them to the CCG officer. Suzuya caught them with ease, squinting at the items in perplexity. "Thought I was doing nothing while we were in the shopping district? Izaya gave me tons of extra time when he was stalling that morning – you know when he was trying on the dress and stuff? Careful with those, by the way" – Suzuya had opened one of the bags to inspect – "…they're highly reactive to water."

"Re…active?"

"Like, think about it this way: those little guys _really_ hate water. So if they catch a whiff of even water vapor, they'll flip. And by flip, I mean they'll blow up. Literally."

"Oh." He closed the bag back up, following after Twelve as the terrorist gestured for him to follow.

"What we're gonna do is split up – take these outta their bags and spread these things in the upper floors of the buildings people hide in. We want to clear out the buildings, understand? We're driving them down and out. That'll be the mission." Twelve's chocolate eyes were glimmering with mischievous light. "We want everybody – I mean _everybody_ – back outside on the streets. Can't play hide-and-seek if nobody's hiding."

"So…?"

"So by the time anything can happen, machine-gun-guy and android-vessel will come rushing over here to save Hostage-san." He pointed to indicate Shintaro, running for safety in the building they were peeking out from the side of. "Shintaro – that is, Hostage-san – was with machine-gun-guy before, so why shouldn't he come and save him unless he's a complete ass?"

"Well, he kinda looks like Izaya," Suzuya pointed out, and Twelve laughed.

"And acts like him, from what we saw. Just a little. He's… a different kind of violent than Izaya. Izaya's all about indirect violence. About internal violence. About violence in silence…" He paused. "Machine-gun-guy acts like he wants to shoot you to bits and pieces, but wouldn't be able to handle himself if he actually did. But that's just my assessment. I could be wrong – who's to say?" Eyes narrowing, a sly smirk began to spread across his normally warm features. "Now, Suzuya, what you're gonna do is go into that building over there and sneak up to at least a floor above where anyone else is; maybe the floor of. You don't want to put these things too close to anybody. You just want them spread nicely in places where there _aren't_ people. Understand?"

Suzuya nodded. "But why?"

"These aren't for hurting or killing people. These are just… alarm clocks, that's all. When you've set them all, just wait a little bit. I'll set a grenade off to trip the fire sprinklers. When I do that, I want you to set off your fire sprinklers too. If you want, I'll give you a grenade, or you could get creative with it. What do you say?"

Suzuya seemed a little bit unsure.

"Hey, think of this as a good time – we get to blow stuff up for fun! Sure, it's serious business, but from what I can tell, you know how to make serious business into something interesting. Right?"

"Ah." Suzuya smiled lopsidedly at him. "Yeah, I guess so."

"There we go!" Twelve nudged him, friendly. "Ready, then? So, do ya want a grenade?"

"Just in case." The terrorist handed him one with an encouraging, crooked grin of his own.

"Alright. Shall we?"

The two split off, moving swiftly under the pressure of their plan. _We're flying, right?_ Twelve vaulted over a particularly large piece of upturned asphalt. _Suzuya, I told you, didn't I? That even with the single bent wing we each were given, we can learn to fly._ His mouth twisted in shimmering curiosity as he looked to the sky. He spotted movement. Somewhere beyond the general 'hide-and-seek area' was a dark figure, bounding from rooftop to rooftop. "I wonder who that could be," he remarked, and slipped inside the building that Shintaro had scrambled into a minute before. "We're in for a fun time…"

He scurried over to the nearest stairwell, listening careful to the sounds echoing, or if there were any at all. _Well, Shintaro's somewhere up there,_ he thought happily, slipping up the steps and pausing at the next floor. Listened to the clicking of a door being shut. Headed up to the next floor. _Looks like this is where I begin… Maybe one extra floor up to be safe._ Jogging up to the fourth floor, he began pulling the other half of his baggie collection from his pockets. There's no question that he was careful in opening and emptying each of the bags. Twelve was very methodical in his placement. Mathematical. Playful; prancing from one spot to the next with a fancy for fire.

Within fifteen minutes, he had finished his job. Sitting comfortably on a windowsill overlooking the street four stories below him, he rolled his grenade from one hand to the other, one hand to the other. Behind him, the twilight made the world look blue-grey. "I guess someone like Kuroha wouldn't really expect this of me. I guess even Izaya wouldn't really, either. More because they don't want me to than anything. Because if I displease one or the other, I'm dead, right?" He closed his eyes. "It smells like winter here, even though it feels like summer or spring. It shouldn't be both like that."

His mouth twisted, opening again his darkening eyes as he gazed lovingly at his green-colored explosive. " _Don't underestimate me_ …"

All in all, he was satisfied with his work, as amateur as it was for someone such as himself. Twelve pulled the pin and tossed the hand grenade carelessly to the side. Leaning back pleasantly with his palms pressed to the sill, he listened to the first explosion rock the building.


	24. Caught

Suzuya cocked his head to the side as he listened to the first explosion resounding mutedly from the building across the now-demolished street. "Guess I'm outta time. Whoops." Giggling, he ripped open the rest of his bags and scattered them in the general area he was in on the third floor. That would work, right?

"Set off fire sprinklers; set off… fire sprinklers?" He paused, index finger to his lower lip. "Hmm…" He began to hum to himself, walking with a spring in his step back over to the stairwell, where he knocked heavily on the railing before jumping onto it and sliding down with his red slippers acting as his skateboard. They were surely perfect for sliding the way he was.

He jumped from the end of the railing and did the same for the next in the opposite direction. _I wonder if there's a furnace in the basement,_ he mused, humming his made-up tune and laughing a bit as he rode the railings.

The dark basement greeted him with warm arms. By warm arms, that is, he was able to find a furnace after all. His fingers wrapped tighter around the staff for his scythe, his mouth spreading further over his face. With new excitement, he ran back up the basement stairs and stopped at the top, the tips of his slippers hanging over the edge, as though longing to reenter the dark. "I wonder what happens if I blow _this_ up," he commented as he pulled the grenade from inside his messily-buttoned white shirt. Stabilizing his scythe with the crook of his arm, he pulled the pin and threw the explosive down the stairs, his wide eyes opening even further as he peered into the black with anticipation.

He heard it bouncing down the stairs; a metallic noise that clanged loud and clear just before the detonation began. The ignition fed on itself, beginning as one and then becoming two consecutive bangs, the second erupting into a louder and larger one than the first. Suzuya found himself blown backwards by the blast, a heat wave crashing over him and sending him tumbling backwards. He sat up with disheveled hair – well, more so than normal – with his red hair clips crooked in his bangs. He blinked. "That was _awesome_ ," he said blankly, and it began to rain. He looked to the ceiling: the fire sprinklers had gone off. He heard the angry crackling of the fire below him. The floor beneath his hands was heated. He thought maybe the furnace didn't like the water.

Staring in interest at the sprinklers spritzing him with their water, he got back to his feet, his scythe held loosely at his side. _So will that get everybody out? Is that really what we're doing?_ He noticed dust falling from the ceiling. The walls were shivering in apprehension. "Those little guys must be reacting," he said matter-of-factly, marching to the door.

A pained shout answered him, and he tilted his head blankly.

"Oh. Did _I_ do that? Oops." He distractedly picked at his lip. "Hum…" Curious, he began to wander towards the noise.

* * *

 _We always used to play hide-and-seek. It… It_ **'s** _was_ _ **my favorite game,**_ _right? I'd play with C-ta, and I'd usually lose…_ _ **It's funny, isn't it?**_

A-ya's surroundings were so vivid and precise. He couldn't have ever known this sharpness before, not in the dullness of his lonely logic. His world of grey.

 **Paint it red.**

A-ya felt lightweight as a feather, his insides buzzing and writhing and swelling with something dark. His body was nothing but a suit, and he could feel himself slipping further inside of it, retreating without meaning to. He was moving in a lucid dream, his own footsteps slow but foreboding to even his own ears; _if_ they were even his own ears.

 **Ah, you're shutting down again, hah?**

A-ya didn't have an answer. He hadn't meant to detach again.

 **I know you didn't mean to or anything. It's just 'defense,' right? I understand; sure I do.**

Yes, perhaps it was defense, knowing what was happening next. Ah… what was happening next, exactly?

 **But what are you defending against, Loner? That's my question.**

Maybe a demon couldn't understand…

 **There are no misunderstandings. I know you better than you know yourself, Loner. You've allowed me to become a part of you, understand? It's like we're one and the same.**

A-ya vaguely wondered if maybe it was himself who didn't understand.

 **Yeah, that's right. So what are you defending, then? Yourself? You don't need to, you know. After all, it's not** _ **you**_ **who's in danger, is it?**

He found that he didn't have an answer again. The serpent was right, he guessed.

 **Of course I'm right, Loner. You've killed two people so far, haven't you? Oh, I see; I see… I understand now. It's not defending yourself… no, not even from having to look at the blood on your hands. It's not the blood that you so fear, is it, Loner? The carnage you have every ability to create? The tragedy you're staging? No… You've wanted it all along, haven't you?**

Confusion permeated A-ya's retreating consciousness. What was that?

 **You were bored with life, weren't you? Something so dull as human life could never spark your intrigue, not quite. No, something like this is far more fun. Isn't it?**

… _No, that's not it,_ A-ya thought, stirring within himself. Waking up.

 **Isn't it? Even before you had me, how did you feel watching your precious fellow kill your other fool of a teammate? What was it that brought fear to your heart? Was it the killing performed? That you were targeted, yourself? Or was it that your friend had killed him without remorse?**

 _I don't know, really… It all happened pretty fast… And then…_

 **And then the time came for you to kill your friend. Didn't you enjoy that?**

 _No, I—really didn't,_ he answered. He felt his ribcage closing in on him at the memory. _I didn't like it at all. I—I didn't mean to—_

 **But didn't you?**

 _No, I—_

 **Feel the scissors in your hands. Feel the injustice he brought you. Isn't it true that you called him a demon?**

 _C-ta is my friend; no matter what he might have done, that doesn't the fact that I lo—_

 **That you care for him, sure. But didn't feel good?**

His scissors were in his hands, time slow and all sounds muted. Oh, the darkness that swallowed them. The red that colored them both. The sensation of sinking his blades into his neck. The tears streaming down from his warm green eyes. The words uttered from his withering lips: _"You win."_

The emotions roared into focus, A-ya slipped back into his body and felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. Pleasant nausea squeezed his stomach. Ecstatic despair buzzed in his head. His vision swam, his feet unsteady. Where was he?

 _It didn't,_ he protested. _It didn't feel good…_

 **It's not that you dislike the carnage. It's not that you dislike the action.**

 _That isn't true…_

 **It's that you dislike the idea that you** _ **like**_ **it. Right, Loner?**

 _No… That's not—no… I…_

Adrenaline drove his scissors into the satisfyingly fleshy blockage to his swing. Oh, the vividness of that moment! The clarity! The _emotion!_ Nihilism and monotony were scrapped; he wanted to scream right now, he wanted to release all this raw energy, raw agony, raw and ever-so-beautiful _enlightenment!_ Wasn't it true that this shade of red had always been his and C-ta's favorite?

 _That's not…what happened…_

Thrusting his hand into the insides of a god. The power coursing through him, the electricity he pulsed right on through. The gratification of experiencing dominance over someone who should surely be a superior being.

 _Is that… really…?_

The sickeningly sweet cracking of Roy Mustang's bones. The horrifically beautiful way his eyes glazed over into milky white.

In accordance to his lonely logic, it wasn't like any of them would last long anyway, right?

In accordance to his nihilism, their lives were worthless and expendable just like everyone else's, right?

 _I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't want to kill anyone._

 **Then why did you accept me?**

 _I… just want to go back to the beginning, that's all._

 **Hah… you all do.**

They stopped walking, sharing space in the vessel that was his dark-clad body. _**There's breathing,**_ they thought, a smile crossing their features. They turned to the door that stood at their side, stepping up primly and knocking in all politeness. Without waiting for an answer, they opened the door and walked inside. " **You're not very good at hiding,** " they said, beginning to close the door behind them. Someone tried to pounce on them, waiting behind the door to strike. The possessed one jumped into the air, putting their catch in fine perspective. The oddball teen of Group 1: the one with orange hair, his pointed teeth showing as he scowled at the dark-clad hero. " **Found you,** " they grinned, and came down on Shirazu only for the partial ghoul to dodge swiftly away.

"I get it, y'know," Shirazu said to the dark boy as he rose from his crouching position on the floor of his hiding room. "You were just some kid in the beginning, right? You're totally not that person now… right? Konoha came back, and that's real cool…" He swallowed, and the monochrome one tilted his head. "…But Kuroha never died either, did he?"

" _Very good, brat,_ " said the serpent. A-ya smiled.

"So… you're the guy that offed Delic in the very beginning, huh?" Shirazu's brow was furrowed. Sweat ran down his cheek. "You're the guy that offed Psyche. Y'know… you killed half my group. That's not cool…"

" _Do you want me to apologize?_ " he sneered.

"Nah…" He licked his lips. "I know what you're doing, y'know. I… I get it, now. It's a little late, but I get it. What you're… doing…"

" **You're repeating yourself,** " they informed him dully, and he lowered his stance, his mandarin eyes narrowing and focusing.

A frown was drawn into his now-serious visage. "Yeah, maybe. Ya just want us all alone, dontchya? Well…" He smirked. "I guess it's smart. But isn't that kinda cowardly, splitting up a group of four? Is it that you're all alone, or are ya real scared of us? We really did a number on your old body, huh, Snakey?" He released a bark of laughter, and A-ya's eyes narrowed.

" **Be careful what you say.** "

"Why? You'll try to kill me either way!"

A flash of crimson electricity struck where Shirazu had been moments before, but now the CCG officer was charging towards the possessed one, unscathed. A-ya lifted his arms, prepared to block his attack, but he only soared over him and to the door.

"What, ya think you'll win, just like that? Just 'cause ya found me doesn't mean you win – ya gotta tag me first, asshole!"

Anger swelling, A-ya clicked his tongue and ran after him, static connecting the floor and ceiling of the corridor in an occasional flicker of violent intent expressed through lightning.

"Oi! _Oi!_ " Shirazu barked ever louder, his feet pounding on the floor beneath him. " _Mado-san! Shirou! Shit,_ man, it was a TRAP!" His voice rose steadily in volume as he ran for his life. _If they don't come, I'll need some kind of opening to hurt this guy…!_

As if on cue, something erupted beneath them, distracting the possessed one momentarily while Shirazu immediately thought – _That's perfect!_ Turning on the pad of his foot, he spun back around and punched A-ya square in the gut, catching him off-guard.

" _Brat,_ " he spat, grabbing onto his arm as the fire sprinklers activated.

A-ya swung him around and slammed Shirazu into the wall, but the partial ghoul bounced back without a problem. The building itself began to quake and crumble, further aggravating the dark-clad hero. As the upper floors flared up due to the makeshift explosives set by Suzuya, Shirazu released his messily-aimed kagune, shooting projectiles every which way and adding to the confusion. As dust clouded the hallway, Shirazu knew that he had to make the 'fight or flight' decision, and quick. His thoughts were razor-sharp. _I know I can't beat him alone. I know that he's faster than me. Now's my best chance to break for it. It's all I can do. If he catches me, I'll fight with all I got._

Through the haze, he bolted away as fast as his legs could carry him.

"… **Fool…** "

Shirazu was fast, there was no doubt – even the dark-clad hero had to put some effort into catching up. Into catching him, even, as A-ya threw his weight onto Shirazu's shoulders and slammed him to the ground with his force. The partial ghoul had far more fight in him than the humans Psyche or Delic. But though it took longer than they would have liked, Shirazu's persistence couldn't save him, and neither could his idiotic teammates who'd left him behind. Like everyone had left each other behind. Comical. This game of hide-and-seek was drawing to a close.

"… **I win,** " he smiled eerily, and that was that.

* * *

Twelve at last slid from the window sill he'd perched himself upon, a smile touching his lips. He cupped his hands around his mouth, his tone jeering. " _Evacuate immediately, everybody! A terrorist attack is at hand! Oh no~_ " He laughed a bit as he walked.

A shadow fell over him without warning, a sharp pain spreading from his abdomen. Frozen, Twelve discovered a hand in his gut and a ghoulish face smiling a Cheshire grin at him, pale face inches away from his own. Twelve didn't know what to say, unable to give his assailant anything besides a bewildered, "—Huh?"

" _ **Boo,**_ " grinned the half-ghoul, grabbing at Twelve's orange t-shirt and yanking him forward, driving his hand further into his insides. It was Seidou Takizawa, his eyes wide and shining with a manic spark. Twelve began to choke, something thick rising in his throat.

"Um… Hey!" he greeted with only a trace of nervousness. He was awfully calm though his look of distress suggested that the hand in his gut rather hurt. As Seidou pulled at his intestines and tore open his abdominal cavity, the look quickly distorted itself into a full-on grimace.

" **Don't think I didn't see you throwing together this fiery trap…** "

"I don't—deny that…"

" **I started wandering, see. I got lost. I heard the demon. I heard him; that's right. And I followed the sound, because I know the bad, bad,** _ **ba-a-ad**_ **things** _ **he**_ **can do. Don't know about you. But you just tried.** "

"Well, actually—"

" _ **Don't interrupt me,**_ " Seidou snapped, spitting acid. He shook the terrorist, whipping his head back and making him wince at the force put into the shaking. " **I've changed it up; I know it too…** **You're wrong, though. All of you are wrong. Little shits think I've gotta—listen to their—their** _ **verdict**_ **. But—let's play, ah… Play Cops and Robbers! I—I'm** _ **not**_ **a robber.** _ **You're**_ **the robber.** "

"Actually, I'm a terrorist, which is a little bit—"

" **SHUT UP.** " Seidou twitched, shuddering over something that Twelve couldn't perceive. Twelve clamped his mouth shut. For now. " **That guy was wrong. I wonder… Hehe. You, I've got** _ **news**_ **for you. I don't know your name; I don't care what it is. But I'm gonna show you all that I can be—I** _ **will**_ **be… a _hero_ , and all the fuckers who tried to say—they don't e x is t, or that I **_**can't be**_ **because** _ **I'm not enough, I'm NEVER ENOUGH,**_ **well** _ **GUESS WHAT, YOU SHITS?!**_ "

Twelve was trapped in silent observation of this hysteria. Seidou had broken down into titters.

" _ **I'm**_ **gonna be the** _ **hero.**_ **Understand? LOOK AT** _ **THIS!**_ **Am I such a loser now?** _ **HUH?**_ "

The half-ghoul finally dropped him, and the terrorist collapsed to his knees, his guts spilling out in front of him against his will. _It's like a spring trap,_ he thought in interest. "Well, this is kinda unfortunate…" Grimacing a bit with Seidou's shrieking laughter ringing through the halls and in his head, Twelve looked up at the wraith, his brow furrowed and smile beginning to form on his mouth. "Ah… well… Just as well. I knew I didn't have long."

" **Seems you've become acquainted with death already,** " Seidou grinned. " **That makes it easier for you.** "

"Yeah, death's made my company," Twelve agreed soberly. Casually. "He has a voice of deepest violet. Sometimes transparent. Sometimes deep grey edging on black. Very ominous and hollow, but somehow it just doesn't faze me anymore." He sighed lightly. "What about you? Sanity's parted company from you, I guess… I don't blame you or anything. I've never once been acquainted with it, myself…" He bowed his head, and Seidou peered at him in interest, his tongue clicking bitterly against the soft palette of his mouth.

" **Is anyone sane in this place?** "

Noting the acidity to his tone, Twelve tilted his head. "Maybe not." Pausing, he looked down at his insides. "You know… it's pretty scary. This doesn't even hurt. Kinda cool, kinda creepy. Now it just feels real surreal."

" **I don't like you talking,** " Seidou informed him flatly.

"Then kill me," Twelve shrugged. "As long as I'm conscious, I'll keep blabbing. But hey, I don't mind you killing me if you get to be a hero, you know? That sounds like a pretty good deal."

"… **Shut up,** " he hissed suspiciously, licking absently at Twelve's blood on his hand.

"Whose hero will you be?"

" **Why are you asking?** " Seidou growled, his bloody teeth bared.

"I'm only curious." Twelve eyed the half-ghoul's stance, his foot sliding forward in preparation to make a sudden move. Maybe to decapitate him; maybe to rip his intestines right out of him and slurp them up like noodles—oo, that was a gruesome thought. _Maybe that's what happens when you see your insides? I dunno, I must have some sort of natural anesthetic going on, because I can't feel a thing; hehe…_ "How will I explain this to Suzuya, huh?" he uttered. He was dimly aware that he might be saying something stupid, but with a little bit of introspection, he found that he just didn't care. "I guess I can't visit with Shintaro after all…"

" **Shintaro?** " Seidou repeated, rooted in place.

"Yeah, I kinda met the guy once… last time I saw him I was trying to get him outta a situation where he could've ended up really dead in the crossfire… with Izaya and Suzuya involved and all… The fiery thing I set up was _supposed_ to be designed to help him out, but I might've made him freak instead. He's pretty jumpy," he snickered.

Seidou was hunched forward, his fingers pressed to his teeth. " **Whatdoyoumean.** "

"What do…? Well, I dunno. What do _you_ mean?"

" **I… I…** "

"Sorry, bud, but maybe you caught the wrong villain?" The thought struck him suddenly, and the terrorist couldn't help but laugh.

Seidou was shaking his head in increasing vigorousness. " **No, no,** _ **no…**_ **You… You're LYING!** " In an outburst of rage, he shattered the window with his fist. Twelve tried to stop the laughter bubbling from him, but only succeeded when Seidou grasped his throat, yanking him up into the air with his feet and his entrails dangling beneath him. The terrorist brought his hands weakly to his own neck, and Seidou snapped his head back and forth, jerking him around in appalling outrage that bloomed like black dahlias or red spider lilies or falling icicles or smoky eyes peering into his soul or into his abdominal cavity – it was all the same now, wasn't it? Twelve could no longer make out what Seidou was saying. He thought to himself distantly that this person's voice was so very inconsistent. He was only dimly aware that he was being moved to the window. He felt a very heavy sensation. Solid. His vision returned in ebony flooring and crimson walls, no—shaking his head he saw that the floor was still white, the walls were still beige. Seidou had tossed him distractedly to the side, perched on the windowsill with his eyes fixed somewhere below them. Blinking slowly, Twelve began to perceive frantic flutters of red, erratic and confused as they danced through the air. He knew someone was talking beneath them, but understood not what they said. He looked at the scattered shattered glass around. Watched the world fracture with them as Seidou staggered backwards.

" **I—can't—** "

His colors were crawling with black roots or broken darkness. Twelve watched Seidou angrily leave him there. He noted that his own entrails were still strewn out in front of him amongst the broken glass and their broken minds and their broken hearts.

"But…," Twelve said, his coherence fading, "…whose hero was he trying to be?"

* * *

 **Hey there, dear readers~  
I just wanted to express my appreciation to all of you that have read this far in. I don't say much in terms of author's notes, but I feel the need to voice my gratitude every once in awhile.  
So, I hope you can continue to enjoy this as much as I had fun writing it, and may you have a fabulous week! Take care, now~**


	25. Into the Night

Izaya pulled Shintaro by the wrist as the upstairs erupted with sound. "There is _so much_ I want explained to me right now!" cried Shintaro, struggling to keep up but having to keep up anyhow because he was being dragged. His lungs and legs were screaming in protest. "Where are we even going?" Opening a sliding door, leading to the outside, Izaya pushed Shintaro out onto the balcony. "Wha—? You _know_ this is the second story, right? Who is that floaty girl following us, huh? And didn't you say that it was Twelve who did this? Is he okay? What is going _on?_ "

" _I_ want answers too," frowned Hanyuu disapprovingly, crossing her arms in protest.

"Wait, wait, blood?" Shintaro looked at the balcony; at the red drops on the ground around him. He looked up to a shattered window two floors up and swore he saw a familiar face quickly turn away, pale in the darkness of the falling night. "Ah—wait, was that—?"

"I want to try something, Shintaro-kun," said Izaya, stepping towards him on the balcony.

"O-oh yeah? Well you didn't answer a single thing of what I just asked you, you know—"

"Just trust me," said Izaya, stepping closer.

" _Okay,_ but—" And Izaya shoved Shintaro to the railing and sent the NEET toppling backwards and over the ledge. The jerseyed boy took in a huge gasp – he tried to grab for Izaya, the railing, _something,_ but to no avail. He saw the floating girl – Hanyuu? – with her hands to her mouth. The broken window high above him was dark and empty. As he felt himself falling, time moving in a crawl, he wondered idly if this was how Ayano felt when she jumped.

He thought he saw Izaya smile in satisfaction. _I probably shouldn't have trusted him, huh?_ But as he closed his eyes, he felt a jerking sensation as a cold body rushed into him, gripping him firmly. His eyes flew open to see that Konoha was holding him midair. They landed on ground without problem. "Konoha!" he exclaimed, and his android friend gave him a gentle smile.

When the albino set him down on the street, he looked wildly around for who should definitely be with him: Roppi. Maybe even Kaneki! But had his eyes lied to him; was Seidou somewhere above? He felt weak with his relief and apprehension coming together.

He was right in thinking that Roppi would be waiting to greet his eyes, because there he was, glaring daggers at the balcony where Izaya had apparently already disappeared. "What the _fuck?_ " Roppi hissed. "What a jackass!"

"Ah…" A boy with brown hair swept back on his scalp scratched at his cheek sheepishly. "Shintaro, are you alright?"

"Ah— Shinichi?" the NEET asked blankly. He pictured him catching Roppi in the air as he fell from the building their group had stayed at on the very first night. He remembered his kind voice amongst the otherwise cold group he'd come from. Was he the only one left, now? "I remember you – thanks again, but um… Why are you…?" He pointed confusedly from the partial parasite to the bitter Roppi, confusion swarming his comprehensive abilities.

"A lot happened," Konoha explained.

"Yeah, stories are for later," Roppi said bluntly. He jerked his thumb to the direction of the torn-up street. "Kaneki's out with Hide and Rin to try and find Shirazu and Akira and the rest."

"I'd like to join them as soon as possible," added Shinichi, and Shintaro nodded hazily. So much was happening at once… He was a _teensy bit_ overwhelmed.

"Um… Is Seidou with you too?"

Roppi's eyes were boring into him; he shrunk and wilted under his gaze. Something told him he was wrong. "No. Why?"

"Is he around?" inquired Konoha.

"I-I don't know… I thought—well… never mind."

"Perhaps we should wonder about that after everyone is out of the immediate danger they could be in," said Shinichi, and Roppi grudgingly agreed.

"Let's go," nodded Konoha, and Shintaro was pulled along once again.

"Wait…" The NEET tried to tug back at the android, somehow stop him, but his own weak self was nowhere near capable of stopping an android with inhuman strength. "Wait—wait!" They slowed, looking at him in perplexity. "Konoha, you can't go in there… You can't confront this kid – you could get possessed again…!"

Konoha blinked at him, vague concern touching his face.

"I kinda figured they were involved, all things considered," Roppi sighed harshly.

"Um?"

"Konoha can stay back with you and Roppi," Shinichi suggested to Shintaro, and Roppi frowned at him. "I can go in and make sure your other group members are out of the buildings. From there, we can run."

"No way – I'm going in to help," frowned Roppi.

"Maybe it is best to stay back this time," said the android quietly, and Roppi scowled, festering silently.

"Er, I mean…," began Shintaro, but Shinichi only smiled at him.

"It'll be alright. Kaneki and Rin are strong, and Hide is very smart. We'll evacuate everyone as quickly as possible."

"O…okay," Shintaro said weakly, and he, Roppi, and Konoha watched him go. "Oh, guys…"

"Yeah, what is it?" asked Roppi distractedly, while Konoha gave a, "Hmm?"

"Just…" He slumped. "I'm so insanely glad to have you back…"

Roppi brought a sleeve to his mouth to hide his ever-so-slight smile. "Save the cheesy reunions for after we're out of this mess, okay?"

"…Okay."

* * *

When Shirou and Akira heard Shirazu's shouting, Shirou immediately whispered a _'Trace on'_ as Akira got to her feet abruptly. They hid in a small, dark room on the first floor. "Akira," he frowned to her, his voice low, "you're injured. You shouldn't be walking."

"That's ridiculous," she answered, her jaw set. Without a word, she took off her heeled shoes and gripped her quinque handle firmly in her fist. "I'm not losing my teammates in this battle. I understand that the goal of the enemy is to separate us, and that's exactly what I let him do. We're going to save Shirazu right now. There is no question. After we secure his safety, we'll go to Shintaro as quickly as possible."

"But you shouldn't—" His argument was cut off by a banging sound. Their heads whipped in the direction of the door, which was shaking on its hinges as somebody continued to bang on it. Shirou immediately tried to step in front of Akira, but she refused. The wood splintered as their seeker smashed their way through, revealing themselves as not a threat but a friend. Kaneki's eyes widened in relief as he saw Akira and Shirou waiting for him.

"Are you both okay?" the half-ghoul asked urgently, running towards them.

"We're fine," said Akira curtly, while Shirou cried out, "Her leg's hurt!" She frowned at him.

"We'll tend to that as soon as we can," Kaneki said with a nod.

"Yo, you find somebody?" called another voice, and Akira blinked in surprise.

"Any luck?" added a female voice that made Shirou go rigid.

"Tohsaka-chan?" he murmured, and Rin and Hide both poked their heads in to see the results.

" _Emiya-kun?_ " she exclaimed in awestruck confusion, and he ran to her.

"Tohsaka-chan, I'm so glad you're alright! Are you hurt at all? Ah, what happened to your arm?"

She jerked her arm away from him. "It's fine," she snipped, and put her hands on her hips. "Since when are _you_ here? I cannot believe…!"

"I was so worried knowing that you were involved too, you know…!"

Hide, in the meantime, approached Akira with warmth and curiosity. "Yo, Mado-san! You're looking great!"

"Ah… Nagachika-kun… It's good to see you," she bowed her head, then looked to Kaneki. "Kaneki, Shirazu is a floor above us. Something's happened – we need to go to him as soon as possible."

Kaneki nodded his head shortly. "Shirou, take Hide, Akira, and Rin back out."

"I want to join you," Akira told him seriously.

"You're injured; you shouldn't fight straightaway."

"Ah, wait," said Shirou, raising his hand. They looked at him. "I don't think you should go alone, either, Kaneki…"

"I'll be fine," he began, but as he spoke the ceiling began to fracture. Fear spread through him like cold tendrils.

"Everyone, out!" snapped Akira as Kaneki scooped her up and got them both out of the way of the collapsing ceiling, the dark-clad hero descending from the floor above.

Without hesitation, Shirou jumped in to fight, A-ya dodging to the side and smiling as the redhead sliced at his ebony cape. The possessed one stepped towards Kaneki whilst dancing around Shirou's attacks. " **You're the only one left,** " he spoke ominously, and the look on the half-ghoul's face made A-ya's expression contort in joy. " _Ah, what a King of Tragedy you are! It tastes—so—good!_ "

Kaneki had already let Akira back down, his face hidden behind his hands. "How could you… Could—you…?" His kagune was unfurling like knobby, scaled fingers from his back. Shirou joined him at his side, a short sword in either hand. Rin had her injured arm outstretched in preparation to shoot curses in the direction of this eerie boy. Akira had her chimaera quinque at the ready, her whip facing the enemy. Hide waited behind them all, observing in apprehension, his mind searching for something he could do to help.

" _It really is too bad,_ " said the demon, tilting his head. " _For there to be five of you now… Very unfortunate._ Definitely not what we wanted, was it? _Too bad._ " He laughed a bit before lighting the room with the rising voltage of his power. He attempted to rush straight through the group only to collide with Shirou Emiya, his red lightning clashing with the boy's teal electricity. " **Get out of my way,** " they hissed, trying to knock him from his path only for Shirou to retaliate, now with Kaneki at his side. _**This is undesirable,**_ they thought, and backed up as Akira joined in the attack and red static spheres of hatred flew at them from Rin. Clicking his tongue, A-ya feigned a right, then bolted left and shot straight into the wall, breaking through easily and opening up his fighting area. Having managed to make it around to their backs, the possessed one considered going after the blond human hanging behind them all. Before they could make their split decision, the partial parasite Shinichi Izumi charged through the hallways and slid on the floor, skidding to halt as the four fighting A-ya beforehand poured back out of the room, ready to attack. Shinichi had faltered upon full sight of the enemy. There was a weighted pause.

"Ah…" Shinichi began to deflate, his eyes filled with distant sorrow. "…Is that you, then, A-ya…?"

A smile crossed the boy's tormented face. His mind flickered with memories of their alliance, back before... before...

"Ah… Shin…ichi… _Looks like a fresher wound than it should be – your arm, that is. How have you fared without your little parasite?_ …I—I mean… It… sure has been awhile, Shinichi…" He began to laugh, his mirth distorted. Corrupt.

"A-ya…"

Rin hesitated under Shinichi's recognition of this guy. Shirou paused, and Kaneki followed suit.

A-ya only continued to laugh, and laugh, and laugh… Without another word, he fled the scene, leaving the six of them behind. Silence filled the spaces between them all. No one had anything to say. It wasn't until Kaneki murmured Shirazu's name that everyone came to. The half-ghoul immediately left them, jumping through the hole in the ceiling where A-ya had arrived. "Get everyone outside," he called to them distractedly, and they all began to stir.

"I hope everything turns out," said Hide, rubbing at his head. "Though it sounds like it didn't end well…"

"Maybe we should head out for now, Rin," Shirou uttered, sounding as though his thoughts were far from them all.

Shinichi, watching the way Akira stared fixedly at where Kaneki had disappeared, approached her, offering his hand. "Do you want to join him? We can meet the other three outside."

She stared at him silently, her eyes flat, lips parted slightly as she tried to put together all of her thoughts. She couldn't seem to come up with the right words to answer him. Perhaps she hadn't even quite processed his offer at all.

"I'm Shinichi Izumi, by the way. It's a pleasure to meet you." Lowering his hand, he bowed to her.

"Akira Mado. I… Yes, I'd like to see him."

"I can help with that," Shinichi smiled. Shirou, Rin, and Hide all nodded to them to let them know they understood. They began heading out, and Shinichi picked up the CCG officer as best and safe as he could with his single arm, jumping up into the hole and taking her to where Kaneki, Shirazu, and even Suzuya were waiting for her. Shirazu lay between the two standing, and Suzuya and Kaneki faced one another, both unsure of whether the other was an enemy or not.

Akira signaled to Shinichi that she wanted to walk, and he put her down gently.

"Mado?" Suzuya asked blankly, tilting his head at Akira. She opened her mouth and closed it, silent. "You look kinda different. It's your hair, I think."

How strange. How surreal, to see him from the past, too. "We have a little bit of a time gap, Suzuya," she smiled at him, and he blinked.

"Time… gap?"

"Yes…"

"So this person… is not a threat, then?" asked Kaneki softly.

"No. And Suzuya, this person is fine too," she assured the other officer. The scythe was hesitantly lowered. Kaneki's kagune was cautiously dissipated into nothing.

"Is it that you're working with A-ya…?" asked Shinichi tentatively, stepping towards Suzuya.

"Uhh…" He took a step back. "I… don't work for anybody. I don't gotta. I work for myself." His eyes flickered to Akira. "For now… I, gotta go." Turning, he began to run away. He looked back only to grin at Akira and say, "Don't worry, I won't go after you, Mado! I'm not gonna hurt you, 'kay? Bye, now~" With a wave, he jumped down a flight of stairs and disappeared from sight, his childish laughter becoming distant as it faded away.

Now that Suzuya was gone, Kaneki at last looked to Shirazu, lying on the linoleum floor beneath them. His blood pooled around him, his eyes hazy, appendages crooked on all four sides. He was smiling lopsidedly, his sharpened teeth showing. Kaneki knelt beside him, and Akira joined him, expression solemn. A breathy laugh escaped the fallen one, his position shifting slightly as he turned to look at the two kneeling beside him. Shinichi remained respectfully apart from them.

"Kane-kun… ya made it back, after all…"

Kaneki put his hands on Shirazu's torn chest, his face shrouded. "Don't speak. We'll get you the medical bag; it'll be fine."

"We won't leave you here," Akira added, her assurance firm but kind. She took Shirazu's hand and squeezed it. He smiled weakly.

"I'm just glad… I was… a little scared, all alone… you know…? I don't… want to be… alone…"

"I'm sorry for leaving you all," Kaneki whispered hoarsely.

"Kane-kun…"

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I'm so sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

Glassy mandarin eyes looked, lost, to the tears that were spilling from Kaneki and onto his marred chest. "It's okay… you don't need to be—sorry or nothin'… I'm just glad… you… made it back… I… Hey… Uh, Mado… Shit, Akira… my sister… would you… take care… of…? And my teammates back home… I…"

"I will." Akira was composed, her jaw tight.

"You can tend to them when you make it home," said Kaneki. "You can see them again. You will see them again."

"You have—no idea how much you've done for me… Kane-kun… Sassan." He began to smile, his own eyes leaking and spilling down the sides of his face, one trail tripping to the floor softly. "Could ya kick Roppi in the face for me…? Or maybe Seidou? I never got to… Ah… both of you…"

"You're going to be okay, Shirazu," Kaneki told him desperately. "You don't need to say anything like that, okay?"

"It's… not like… I… wanted to die… you know? But…"

"Stop that, you're going to make it…!"

"…Thank you."

"Shirazu—" Kaneki turned quickly to look at Shinichi. "Find Shintaro and get the medical bag immediately! We need medical attention for him as soon as possible!"

"Kaneki," Akira spoke softly, putting a hand on the half-ghoul's shoulder. Shirazu's eyes had closed. Shinichi wasn't moving, just gazing at Kaneki with that distant look he tended to have.

"Shinichi, you need to go _now!_ If you don't hurry, he'll—"

"He's dead," Shinichi said flatly.

Kaneki's words stuck in his throat. Choking up, he clutched at the fabric of Shirazu's jacket. Both his and Akira's head were bowed. A shadow settled over the two of them. They knelt there in silence, only the sound of Kaneki's choked weeping audible. Another had passed into the night.

* * *

A-ya met up with Suzuya and Izaya apart from the uniting groups nearby. Suzuya was as odd as ever, and Izaya was just as sharp. A-ya was hazy; he felt like he didn't fit right into his body anymore. Upon Izaya's offhanded remark that Twelve was missing, A-ya immediately answered, "I will go find him." Without any further discussion he left them. They looked at one another. Suzuya was suspicious about Izaya's furrowed brow, but the informant only shrugged. He wasn't going to tell that sadistic kid that A-ya might be going off to kill Twelve if he was too terribly injured.

And A-ya did find him that way, half-sitting as he leaned with his side to the wall and his entrails spread messily around on the slippery linoleum. The terrorist's blood was scattered and smeared about, and his warm eyes were glassy, reflecting the still-blazing conflagration that he had created. A-ya stepped up to him with hazy eyes of his own. "You know," he said, "you look a lot like someone I know." His voice was so quiet; it almost didn't make it through the fog of Twelve's consciousness – especially with the sounds of crackling heat around them. It did, though, and he looked with some coherence to the fourteen-year-old. "His name was C-ta." Unable to bring himself to speak, Twelve only smiled at him. A-ya looked to the ground, scattered with blood and glass. His expression was distant, perhaps sad. "I guess you'd have to be an older version of him… Hah… Twelve, you're… so helpless…"

Twelve didn't question the tears that spilled, or the way he hid his face in his hands and tried to shove all the feelings back inside. He didn't question when A-ya wiped at his eyes and began shakily picking up Twelve's insides and handing them over to the terrorist, as if he'd know what to do with them. "We'll see if we can do anything," A-ya said quietly, once the full length of Twelve's intestines had been gathered. The terrorist blinked as A-ya carefully tried to lift him up, cradling the nameless nineteen-year-old in his tiny fourteen-year-old arms. "I'm jumping now," he warned him, and from there he leapt down into the dark and back to the group that awaited them.

* * *

Seidou Takizawa listened to the hushed voices rising from the city square far below him, sitting with his back to the railing bordering the rooftop that he'd sought refuge upon. His eyes were closed. He didn't want to see anything. There was only sound. He heard little welcomes and soft expressions of praise or of gratitude. _Her_ voice, distant and cold… Maybe distracted, the apparition at his side corrected. Maybe masking pain. _His_ voice, insensitive and whiny. Fatigued, his apparition added. Regretful.

There was Roppi's voice, as dull and irritable as ever. Something was wrong – why was it that he sounded so much different than he remembered?

 _I hate them,_ he thought. _Why aren't_ I…

How could he have possibly thought in the beginning of this stupid game that he could become a leader? How could he possibly think that any of _them_ could think he was anything but a loser? Even now, they were looking down on him. Even the loser Shintaro thought of him as 'loser.'

" _I'll always be a failure,"_ uttered his apparition, and Seidou's lips parted in disgust.

" _ **You'll**_ **always be a failure,** " he answered. " **Me, I… I'm a success. Exactly… what they wanted…** "

" _Isn't that's what's failing them now?"_

Seidou didn't answer, the ends of his fingers pressing into the tops of his eyelids. Jealousy's thorns pierced him, though he did not recognize them as they were. In response to their consequent wounds, he thought again: _I hate them._

The news of Shirazu's death was a statement so heavy that it almost didn't reach Seidou, not at his vantage point. The sounds of their communion quieted. He silenced them entirely with his hands to his ears.

" _I think ya should say you're sorry 'n stuff…,"_ Shirazu suggested wearily. _"Properly, to Shintaro. He's your teammate, y'know?"_

" **Not anymore.** "

" _I wanna look too,"_ Shirazu said stiffly, running to him in the morgue. _"I wanna remember 'em, like you said. I shouldn't not look because I don't wanna. No, I mean… like, that's exactly why I should look, you know? 'Cause they deserve it."_

He did not open his eyes. He did not uncover his ears. " **What does it matter?** " Seidou echoed Roppi. " **They're already dead. You're already dead.** "

" _Seidou—man, is that you?"_

"… **No, it's really not.** " He released his ears to silence and pulled his dark hood over his head. " **I'm—a reaper… Hehe…** " Burying his head in his knees, he grew silent. So did his apparition.

So did Shirazu. Seidou supposed he'd never speak again.


	26. Answer

**Sorry for the day-late update, everyone. I hope you still enjoy~**

* * *

It was an awkward emergence when at last Yato opened the bedroom door and approached the living space, where the group that had taken him in awaited. He did not speak. He did not look directly at anyone. He just stood quietly at the end of the hall, his arms crossed over his marred chest. He'd already put on both his shirt and jacket, his black jersey zipped all the way up. Akise gave him a crooked smile and a nod of acknowledgement, though Yato's only response was to avert his gaze further. Celty was rather subdued, tugging on her collar occasionally in expression of her discomfort. Minene spared Yato only a glance and a _tch_. Yukiteru, who was playing with the armadillo Kincho along with Celty, blinked at Yato and flashed him a nervous grin without much to say besides, "Er, I'm glad you're up… uh, Yato."

Speaking to him apparently had adverse effects: he looked ready to draw back and return to the bedroom, beginning to turn and walk away when Rika approached him with a tray of glasses. "I've made some tea, that's so~ Would you like some, Yato?"

He blinked bemusedly at her.

She beamed up at him with a closed-eye smile. He didn't understand, but the only other thing she offered him was a, "Nii?~"

"…Uh… Sure," he muttered quietly, taking one of the glasses. He warily watched her bring the tray over to the others, just as cheery towards her teammates as she was to him. He was well aware of the fact that she was the one who'd revealed a goddess to him, albeit a flimsy one. It was true that Rika felt slightly different than a regular human in regards to souls. For all he knew, that young goddess of hers was watching him now, transparent and hidden from his eyes.

Yato wasn't all too sure that he could trust Rika's warm countenance. After all, he'd killed the man with the dark, messy hair and the casual attire. Judging by the way Rika had protected his gravely wounded body, it was a given that she cared for that person. And it was also a given that Yato had killed him, so there was absolutely no reason for Rika to like him. In fact, he'd given her and a lot of the others here some pretty good reasons to hate him.

Why, exactly, had they taken him in?

Sighing, Yato looked to the glass in his hand. Now that no one was paying him any mind again, he cautiously took a sip. He drew back in rather pleasant surprise. _It's… pretty good, at least…_ Lowering the glass a bit, he gazed at the torn wall where he'd thrown Izaya. At the ruptured floor that he'd destroyed out of grief-stricken fury for the loss of Yukine. …The floor which now the cloaked boy and the dark rider were using as the armadillo's playground. Apparently the thing could do tricks.

Yato's mouth twitched. He didn't like the atmosphere, and he didn't like this structure. It was too uncomfortably familiar, and all of the feelings tied to it weren't exactly pleasant.

Wordlessly, he slipped past Akise as he headed to the kitchen area beyond the living space everyone was gathered in. Their already-subdued conversation dropped, and he was relieved to find a door in the kitchen that led to a back porch. He stepped quietly outside, slid the door shut again, and took a deep breath. It was very quiet. Before him was an expanse of open grassland. It seemed to go on forever and ever, especially in the darkness of early night. If what Izaya had said on day one of the game was true, there was a barrier blocking him from that barren freedom. He took note of a pile of amassed debris that he figured he'd created, now awkwardly placed and discarded here in the backyard. Yato remembered the tantrum in only a hazy recollection. It felt like so long ago. Strange, wasn't it? He'd lived for centuries, and yet a time where Yukine could be at his side seemed like so, so long ago.

"…" He drew his lips into a thin line, subconsciously bringing his hand to his chest. _…That hurts,_ he thought. A pause. Then, _That blue-haired girl… really left her mark, that's for sure._ Carefully, he set down his tea glass before sitting on the edge of the porch, one leg curled in front of him with the other dangling off the edge. He leaned back on one of his palms, his thoughts distant. _It sure is a good thing this group decided to treat my wounds. Otherwise, I may not have made it._

He listened to the sliding door slowly open and close behind him, and he returned to the present with some annoyance. Closing his eyes, he took a sip of his tea with his ears pricked, on guard. He listened to a quiet voice mumbling, "Um… pardon me."

Yato looked at the cloaked boy Yukiteru with narrowed blue eyes. He set his glass back down.

"May I… uh… join you?"

Yato turned his gaze away to stare into the dark. "Why shouldn't you?" he asked him dully. "I'm the guest, not you."

"Ah…" With much nervousness, Yukiteru sat at his left, his knees tight together with his bare feet hanging over the porch ledge and swinging in idle animation. "I don't think… it's really about that, you know? Because… I thought, maybe you just wanted to be alone."

Yato gave a noncommittal grunt.

This didn't help Yukiteru in the least. "…Well, it's okay to want to be alone. I like that too, sometimes. A lot of times, actually. Um… Like, especially in my own room, yeah? With a big blanket wrapped around me, nice and cozy…" He swallowed. Yato gave no indication that he was paying him any mind. "I, um… I did come out here for a reason, though…" He began restlessly rubbing at his forearm. "I—well… See, I… I know that… you've done some bad things."

Yato looked at him with cold eyes, and Yukiteru faltered before giving him an honest, if nervous, grin.

"But—you're still w-welcome here… Because… people can make mistakes, and… I mean… You're not the only one here that's done some bad things… I mean, Minene-san is a terrorist, see, and she's killed lots of people. I still don't know how to feel about that, really, but… But I mean, there's a friend of mine in this game right now who might be killing other players… who's making some bad choices, too… and this person… I figure, well, I know… that he is actually a very good person who is hurting; that's all… And if he deserves to be saved… If he deserves forgiveness, then—well, you've got to, too! Because… even if I don't know you, I should give you that chance—because everyone deserves that chance. I wanted to let you know that, because I think it's important… for you to know that you're welcome here." He furrowed his brow, lapsing into silence and rethinking his words. And rethinking them. And rethinking them again.

"Is that the Serpent's new vessel?" Yato's tone was empty. Yukiteru's eyes flickered to him only to find that the god was looking somewhere far away.

"…Yeah… That's him. His name, um, his name is A-ya." He paused. "He… I hope he's okay, right now. Well—I kinda figure that he's not okay _right now_ ; of course he's not. He's possessed by some creepy snake that—that's killed lots of people in this game already. Like Migi, which I'm—actually kinda sad about. Makes me wonder about Shinichi, but I'm sure he's fine—and Ciel, you know, he's only twelve, or something…" He was becoming increasingly restless.

"A little British boy with an eyepatch over his right eye?"

"Um, yeah."

"Oh."

Yukiteru observed that Yato was gripping the edge of the porch rather tightly despite his icy expression. No, now he actually looked rather scary. "Well, maybe I'm rambling too much about things to you. I…"

"That kid's dead."

The words rung as a low, resounding gong might. Yukiteru felt his insides reverberating. "Oh… Well… That, well, that's okay. It'll be okay. Because that, well, it's okay. That's okay."

Yato loosened his grip on the wood beneath him, listening to Yukiteru fumble and go around in circles.

"I'm not really sure how you know that—I hope you didn't—well, actually, that wouldn't matter anyway, would it? Ah, no it wouldn't, would it? No, not at all!"

Yato wasn't sure what to make of the way Yukiteru wrestled with this issue. Was he trying so hard to appear friendly, or was he trying to convince himself of his own words? Maybe both? Ah, well…

"No, it wouldn't… because… either way, I guess Ciel just… didn't make it, huh? That's too bad. Not everyone will; that's the way the game works, right? Yeah… Even that's okay, because either way, he's dead, right? Can't worry too much about it at that point! It's not like I can change what's already happened!" Yato turned to look at him, and Yukiteru smiled back. "I like to believe in the good in people, you know? Because I know it's there somewhere. And—even if I can't change what's already happened, I can change what _will_ happen. I can make the future if I want to. You can too, you know." Yato blinked, frowning a bit, but Yukiteru only turned to gaze out into the sea of grass. "So, I know… that even if I don't see him tonight – A-ya, that is – I know we'll both be alright. It'll be alright." Smiling, he paused. "It'll be alright," he repeated.

Yato gazed at him in speculation. This boy – fourteen years old, right? Fourteen years of age, at the precipice of choice. It was the beginning of the most volatile point in a human's life, where they had to start down the path of light or the path of darkness. It was such a pivotal time; such a dangerous time. Yato knew all too well how it could be, knowing that Yukine had been at that point himself, trapped at that volatile age for the rest of time. Yato brought a hand to his chest again subconsciously. He pushed away the thought.

Yukiteru – what a name! – was at that point too, huh? Which path would he take? It looked as though this kid was trying very hard to deny the things he didn't want to see. Optimism is wonderful until it becomes blinding, you see. Yukiteru had a haziness about his bright blue eyes. It was as though a film covered them, a protection mechanism for his comprehension. A filter. He was walking the line between light and dark even as Yato pondered Yukiteru's place. Yukiteru likely didn't know his own place, either. Yato watched his profile as his eyes darkened, like they were reflecting an oncoming storm. A smile still gently curved his soft mouth, contrasting with the increasing distance in his eyes. He was on the brink of breaking something or another within himself. Yato almost wanted to call it madness threatening to cloud his young mind. Turning back to the expanse before him, Yato wondered idly whether anyone else had noticed.

"Hey, Yato," said Yukiteru. The god didn't turn. Neither did the boy. "You're a god, right?"

Yato furrowed his brow. "…Yes."

"You said you were a delivery god, right?"

He lowered his gaze. "Well—"

"Can I make a wish?" the boy asked brightly, his expression lighting up.

"Well," Yato frowned deeply, "as I was about to say—"

"It's only one thing; promise…"

Yato stared back into the hopeful young eyes of this kid. They were, perhaps, a little bit too desperate. Thinning his lips, Yato asked him, "What is it?"

He began playing with his fingers, his gaze nervously flicking around. "These thoughts of mine… All of my feelings for A-ya, well—if you're a delivery god… Could you deliver these thoughts to him? Could you do that? Or…?"

"…I can't send thoughts, or anything like that…"

"Ah." He brought his knees to his chest. "That's fine. I'll see him in the future, so… at that time, I'll…"

"I, ah…" Yato touched his chin, his eyes narrowing.

"Hm?"

"…I could… instead, grant a similar wish. You wish to be at his side, don't you?"

Though Yukiteru couldn't make out Yato's eyes beneath the shroud of his deep violet bangs, he was still encouraged by these words. "I… yes, I do."

"Alright. Do you have an offering?"

"A—what?" Yukiteru began to panic, patting down his dark cloak only to find that he had not a penny to his name. He let out a wail of despair, and the door slammed open.

"Yukki! What's the matter?!" snapped Minene, immediately on his case.

"Yukki…," Yato repeated under his breath.

Yukiteru had stiffened. "Mi-Mi-Minene, hi! Uh, I was just t-talking to Yato about—uh, we were having a chat about stuff and I wanted to, uh—but I don't have an offering for him, and—"

"Jeez, kid, you sure are loud," Minene grumbled, her single eye narrowed in obvious disapproval. Celty poked her helmet out to investigate the situation, and moments later, Kincho followed, perched on her shoulder.

"Uh… Sorry." Yukiteru rubbed uncomfortably at his arm. Yato was immobile, still staring out beyond the barrier.

"You shouldn't make such distressed noises," the terrorist scoffed, rolling her eye. "You could be dying or something. The new guy's supposed to be one of them beefed-up power players, you know." Celty raised her arms to her as if to say, 'Don't _say_ that; he's right there!'

"Don't be rude to the guest!" piped up Rika, hopping into the doorway. "Yato was once a friend, that is so~"

"…Right." Minene frowned a bit as Akise's footsteps softly approached them all. The group in its entirety had gathered. "If anybody's got some change, it's Akise…"

"Don't worry about it," said Yato flatly, getting to his feet. "Yukiteru, your wish has been heard loud and clear…" Yukki blinked at him as the god smiled a closed-eye smile at him. "May your fates be verily intertwined."

"R-really?" Yukiteru's bright blue eyes practically shimmered.

"What—I don't even want to know." Minene shook her head and turned around while Celty shrugged in answer to her and Kincho grunted in curiosity. Rika and Akise only smiled.

* * *

A-ya's fingers tingled and buzzed. It was a feeling that was not unlike numbness. His skin was nothing but another encasement. His cape was pulled around himself like a shroud. He'd brought Twelve down to the others and immediately explained to them that they were getting away from this area as quickly as everyone could. Twelve had managed to kind of sling his arm around A-ya's shoulders, smiling lopsidedly at how comical it was for the small A-ya to be carrying the nineteen-year-old Twelve. The terrorist's eyes continued to shine, though that may have just been the glassiness. Suzuya seemed rather curious about the predicament, though also unsurprised. Izaya was ready to question, but A-ya quickly cut him off. The three of them ran in silence.

They skirted the tower and stopped at the northern end of the shopping area. A-ya didn't hesitate to burst through the front doors of the first building he saw, not waiting for the others as he laid Twelve on the glossy linoleum. "There's surely something for you here," he uttered, his tone low and tense even though it _did_ sound like he was attempting reassurance.

Izaya and Suzuya caught up, entering the doors as A-ya ran for the bandages. Suzuya cocked his head at A-ya, picking at his ear. "Hm." The CCG officer approached Twelve while Izaya watched, deadpan. "That's happened to me before, too," he commented. "Real inconvenient." As he knelt beside the terrorist under the spotlight of one of the emergency lights glowing even without the bright fluorescents activated, he pulled a spool of red thread out of his messily-buttoned shirt, along with a silver needle. "It was like, you know, I wanted to see inside somebody else, and then I saw inside of me, instead."

Twelve blinked at him slowly.

"So, Twelve… Does it hurt?"

The terrorist couldn't answer him, so he just accepted Suzuya's guidance as he helped him sit up, cutting away at the fabric of his shirt. Watched hazily as he took him, all inside-out, and put him right-side-in again. A-ya, gauze held loosely at his side, watched Suzuya patch Twelve back up. Izaya didn't look, his red-brown gaze kept strictly to the dark window. His expression was of stone.

After Twelve was put back together and Suzuya tied off the string in a knot he knew would stay, the terrorist just kind of sat there on the floor of the shop he had now dirtied with his blood, his eyes still far-off. Suzuya remained crouched at his side, his eyes wide as they always were. He stared at Twelve as though waiting for him to speak. By now A-ya was sitting on a black swivel chair just beside them, sitting backwards on it with his arms folded over the top of the back of the chair. His head was buried in his arms as he waited for an answer.

Shuddering, Twelve eventually found his voice. "D…idn't think… th…ey… would, fit back… in, actually…"

Suzuya laughed at him. "But they were in you before, weren't they?"

"Guess… so…" Twelve smiled weakly.

A-ya had lifted his head, watching them wearily, his brow still furrowed.

Twelve's eyes drooped. "Dark, world… Yeah."

"So, did it hurt?" asked Suzuya, leaning closer.

"Not really…," he admitted. He shivered, bringing one arm around himself. "Feels… like hot coals, see… nestled in…side of me, y'know? But I'm so cold…" He began to laugh faintly. "I wonder… Izaya, hey, I wonder… Is this, what the end of the world feels like?"

Izaya didn't respond, his eyes narrowing just slightly as he continued to gaze out of the window and away from the others.

"End of the world?" Suzuya repeated.

"Just make it easier, Suzuya," smiled Twelve tiredly. "Say it… that I never mattered."

The officer blinked at him. "Huh?"

Twelve watched Suzuya's red flicker with his voice, and his eyes drooped again. "I heard… someone with a voice… of pale yellow. It's… such a rare color, you know… I think… it was that old vessel… actually. I bet he has…" He trailed off.

"…Has what?" asked A-ya. He didn't want Twelve to stop talking, not now that he'd started.

"I like your voice better than… the demon's, really," Twelve said, distracted. He was sitting on a thin layer of snow, the sun shining too bright through the ceiling—ah, wait, that was the light. Wasn't it nighttime now? "Strange, you know… I remember a time where… where everything was… black, white, and grey… I can't remember… even what the food tasted like. That's what existence alone is… Existence alone… that's what monochrome means. Living, that… that's better. To have… something like, 'love.'" Smiling slightly, Twelve began to relax. He allowed himself to lie back down on the linoleum, his bare back on its cool surface. He could make snow angels. Blood angels. What had Suzuya said about angels falling to earth…?

"Are you living now?" asked Suzuya.

"I think so," Twelve answered, watching Suzuya's crimson smear over his sight like paint. "I really think so. There's too much… color."

"Will you be alright?" asked A-ya quietly.

His voice flickered scarlet in Twelve's corneas. He began to laugh. "After my little scheme gone wrong, you're asking me that? You'd think… it'd be more like, 'why did you do that?' Well, anyway…" He closed his eyes, sinking into an icy ocean. The hot coals in his gut were all that kept him sure of his consciousness. "I _am_ feeling… really very feeble. So tired… Wanna nap." Opening his eyes, the world tilted on its axis and spun out of orbit as he tried to sit back up again. And with that, he fell right back into the snow. He knew it wasn't snow. Dimly, he saw Suzuya peering at him. He felt his heart fluttering and straining in his chest. "I'm underwater," he commented. "Crazy. There's really no point trying to help me now… You know, seeing that none of us care about one another." A wry smile curved his pale lips.

"You're a teammate," Suzuya said matter-of-factly, his tone disconnected.

"You'll be okay," A-ya added firmly. "You just need to rest. That's all."

That breathy laugh again. _This hole in my chest, this hole in my gut – my hollowed-out and re-stuffed torso; it's proof of life._ "Beautiful. Look; harmony." His eyelids shut once again; he was dipping himself back into the darkness. _No, it doesn't hurt. It just feels…_ He felt a shroud cover him. _…uncertain._ "I wonder… what the world will look like… when I wake up."

"I can assure you," uttered A-ya, "that it will look exactly the same." With that, he returned silently to his swivel chair after having blanketed Twelve with his ebony cape. Suzuya watched him silently. The only sound was of Twelve's uneven breathing, which began to gradually grow steady, if a bit shallower than it should be. Upon sitting backwards on the swivel chair again, A-ya once more wrapped his arms around the back and rested his chin there, his eyes shadowed.

The CCG officer glanced over to Izaya, who still had made no move to speak or act. Looking back to A-ya, he asked, "What now?"

"We let him rest," answered the dark-clad hero. "We rest for the night. We wait."

"Oh," Suzuya answered, settling himself there on the floor. The familiar scent of iron permeated their hideaway. The gaps between the four of them were filled with silence.

* * *

The discussion between the reunited and newly allied groups was short and unreal.

"Oh, God, Kaneki, I'm so happy to see you; you have no idea…" Shintaro.

"Thank you, Shinichi, for showing up to help when you did." Akira.

"Man, Shirou was your name, right? You were really awesome back there!" Hide.

"Honestly, I'm just pissed you got involved in that shit show in the first place." Roppi.

"Konoha, thank you for catching Shintaro-kun… I don't know that I'd have made it." Shinichi. "Everyone did well…"

"Right, but where's Shirazu?"

At Shintaro's inquiry, the conversation came suddenly into focus. The pockets of light conversation, guarded and fake, went silent.

Roppi immediately looked to Kaneki, his eyes pressing for answers. He was too afraid to reiterate the inquiry with his mouth.

"Shirazu, well…" Kaneki averted his eyes, distress clear in their distance. Idly, he touched his chin. "W… we should begin heading away from here. It isn't good to remain here…"

" _Kaneki_ ," Roppi said, his tone evidence of his desperation.

"Why ask me again when you surely know the answer?" The half-ghoul's voice was quiet, his eyes shrouded. "Do you want to hear aloud the dreaded 'Nevermore'?"

Roppi stared at him in horror.

"No way…," uttered Shintaro, tugging uncomfortably at his black V-neck. He looked at Akira, who solemnly shook her head.

"Shirazu died in battle," she confirmed, and everyone was quiet.

"Sh…shouldn't we at least… bury him?" Shintaro asked, but he was met with the negative.

"I think, perhaps, that it would be better to leave him as he is, at rest," Kaneki responded, and Shintaro drew his lips into a thin line. Nodded. He couldn't speak anymore.

Behind Kaneki, Akira, and Shinichi, the building they'd been in erupted in a sudden outburst of flaming fury, the windows of the lower floors shattering as the furnace in the basement exploded. Gradually, the building began to fall apart. The fire reached into the blackened firmament with arms of bright conflagration.

"It's alright," said Shinichi. "He will be buried."

No one had an answer. Eventually, Rin suggested that maybe they should follow Kaneki's directive and head out before anything else bad happened. No one had an argument for it, and so they left.


	27. Team

Yukiteru was showing Yato the tricks that Kincho could perform when they were approached by Akise. Apparently he and Celty thought it best that they rest. Night was falling. It was at this time, too, that Minene was approached by Rika. The younger took the terrorist outside without explanation, speaking to her in vague cute-sounds like she often did. Having worked with Rika since day one of even the female games, Minene complied easily. Besides, the kid looked like she had something pretty important to talk about. Seriously – last time she had that face she'd let Minene know that A-ya was fucking possessed, so you'd come to trust that she'd try to warn about anything bad if she could. She was a really insightful kid; Minene had to at least grant her that.

It was just the two of them out here. Once they couldn't hear Yukki or Akise talking anymore, Minene crossed her arms over her chest. "Alright, kid," she frowned, "are ya gonna tell me what this is about?"

"Tell me about Akise," she answered simply, hands clasped behind her back. She looked up at the terrorist with those old eyes of hers, currently quite piercing. She was being serious.

Minene was almost concerned. Rika didn't usually make such a direct demand of inquiry. Well, keyword is _almost._ Minene was Minene. She didn't get concerned about anyone but herself. Usually. And besides, Rika was a tough kid.

"Akise's a good kid, I guess," Minene began, rubbing at the back of her head. "Kinda weird, but I've worked with him a few times in my realm. It's funny because… y'know, I've mentioned to you that I'm in a death game either way." Rika was nodding patiently. "He wasn't a part of it or anything, but he started getting involved somehow anyway. Really curious, I guess. I think he's following what he thinks is justice? I dunno, I can't believe in that stuff anymore. But…" Frowning, Minene sat cross-legged on the grass. "I feel like this is gonna be a long conversation. Let's sit down."

"Okay," Rika agreed, kneeling neatly on the ground in front of her.

"Yeah, so this kid—I like this kid, I guess you could say," she continued. "Akise's strange, but he's incredibly reasonable. Almost abnormally reasonable. He wants to be a detective, I guess? He's been working with the police for some time, apparently. Loves playing that detective game, and I hear he's pretty good at it. I don't mind working with him. Like I said: he's reasonable. Even if I hate somebody, he'd probably be able to convince me not to kill them if there were a good enough reason not to. Being thrown into this battle royal, I can't say I'm surprised that he wants to unite with as many people as possible. If he says that it will help end the game, then I'd have to believe him. He's usually only slightly off the mark, if not right on it. He's really laid-back, too, so he's not annoying or anything." She rolled her shoulders in a shrug. "I dunno… If he gets a theory, then I'd give his words some thought."

Rika nodded again, thinking on this with her tiny hand to her chin. "What do you think about what happened with the items contraption?"

"Eh? The items thing?"

After Yukiteru had approached the pillar and obtained his unneeded machine gun, he suggested that Akise give it a go. After Yukki had stepped down and Akise had approached the module, however, something a _tad_ odd happened. The pillar activated, sure, but the hologram never reappeared. What's more, the touch screen showed up purple, its display occasionally glitching and trembling in his presence. The screen was otherwise blank. Akise had shrugged it off as a mistake, and they had gone on their way. He didn't seem to have any more of a clue than anyone else, so they let it go right with him.

"To be honest, I have no idea what that was about," Minene admitted. "But really, I don't think he knows either. _I_ think that if anyone can break this game, it's him. Could be a sign that he's the only one outside the realm of the game masters' influence. Ya think?"

"I'm not sure," Rika answered quietly, her violet eyes far-off.

Minene watched her young face for some time before sighing and leaning back casually on the heels of her palms. With Rika that deep in thought, she didn't want to disturb her right away. Instead, the terrorist directed her one-eyed gaze to the starry sky. A smirk curved her mouth. To think, she was hanging out with a ten-year-old. How out of the ordinary was _that?_

Yukki must have been so thrown off, having the rough terrorist bring in the little Rika behind her. Minene was a bit surprised, herself. It had all happened by odd circumstance. When first they met, it was in battle. And yet this kid had managed to stop all violent advances between Minene's group and her own. She'd even stopped Minene herself from just bombing the hell out of this bothersome kid that no one had the guts to kill. But the way she held her arms outspread, her eyes filled with desperation as she cried out for everyone to stop… Minene began to envision a small girl with violet hair, crying in the ruins of a war-ridden society. Indeed, she'd seen her younger self in Rika. Not that she'd ever tell her that.

It wasn't until later on in the game that Minene really began to see what this kid was about. In fact, it wasn't until that point that she really, truly wanted to make sure she stayed safe.

There were only four of them left in their two combined groups by that point: Maka and Nora were the only others besides themselves. After Minene had lost the rest of her group to Celty's group, ironically enough (not that she was upset – on the contrary, she was relieved), she really expected Rika to be more upset than she ended up being. No, instead, Rika was being so annoyingly _optimistic_ that eventually Minene just had to blow up on her.

The sun had already set, and the forest was dark. Maka was perched atop one of the trees, on watch for intruders. Nora was at her back, keeping an eye on the opposing side. Every so often, her jaded eyes would flick down to the two below her – Minene and Rika, that is.

"Even if Tamura and Minatsuki have died, we should not give up, that is so," Rika had said matter-of-factly, and Minene huffed at her, standing up and turning away from her.

"You haven't learned shit, have you, kid?" the terrorist asked gruffly.

"Nii?"

"This isn't something you can take so lightly, alright?" She turned back around to glare down at the ten-year-old, who was innocently tilting her head to the side in question. "This is only easy for you because people keep _protecting_ your ass, understand?"

"I understand," Rika confirmed quietly.

"At some point, it's gonna be every man for themselves, so if you wanna survive, kid, you gotta be willing to fight!" She threw her hands into the air in frustration. "Don't you _get_ it? It's kill or be killed, here! Until you get that through your little head, you _won't_ be able to make it! _Understand?_ "

Rika hesitated, thinking on this. "I think…" She bowed her head, voice lowering. "…that it's you who misunderstand, Minene."

The terrorist blinked her single eye, mildly surprised. She'd never heard Rika use this voice before. Then her eye narrowed, and she leaned in, challenging. "Oh yeah?"

"I know that people will die in this game. That is their fate. For Lust to die, or Tamura… I already knew they wouldn't make it from the beginning. Minatsuki couldn't either. I realize that people are dying to protect me, but it's not like I asked them to. I'd rather they didn't, in fact. I'd like to make it to the end of this game with you, Minene, but if you continue to act like this game is us against each other, it won't turn out that way. The truth of this game has evaded most of us. This isn't a death battle at all; that's what the puppeteers want us to think. That's just for fun. The real enemy is the ones running the game, wouldn't you say? For you to say this place is kill or be killed… aren't you falling prey to the very mentality that they want you to?" At this question, her small mouth curled upward in cold mirth.

Minene, conversely, began to scowl. Who did she think she was…?!

"I know I'm very good at pretending to be innocent," Rika continued mildly, the smile evaporating. She began toying with the orange-handled knife she'd been given at the very beginning, twirling it in her fingers and performing clever little knife tricks. "…But really, that's far from the truth. At this point, I know there isn't any _need_ to pretend. Not in a place like this. Why should I, when I don't have friends around anymore that may be frightened by such knowledge? I'm 'ten years old,' right? I shouldn't be this desensitized from something so final as 'death.' I should be sad. I really should. It's not that I don't care, and it's not that I don't get it… I'm just busy trying to solve the puzzle, instead, knowing that death is inevitable. 'Willing to fight,' right, Minene? I am. But not unnecessarily." She paused, then smiled at the terrorist from her spot amongst the roots of a tree. "That's all."

Minene frowned at her, absorbing everything she'd said. Cautiously, she sat back down beside the younger one. "You've got… a home to get back to, don't you?"

"I do," Rika confirmed. "Some good friends are waiting for me there."

"Any parents?"

Rika paused. "No, no parents… that is so."

Looking into the starry sky above, Minene recalled losing her own parents at eight years of age. At that time, what was it that she wanted?

"Don't worry about it, Rika," Minene said eventually, clapping the child on the back. "We'll make it to the end of this together."

"When this game ends, it will not be over," Rika warned her ominously, but Minene only scoffed.

"From here on, _I'm_ after the game masters. I'll see to it you make it, got it? We're gonna show them who's boss! Alright?"

Rika stared blankly at her for a few seconds before smiling a closed-eye smile, returning to her usual childish self. "Alright~"

Minene wasn't all too sure she knew how many nights ago that was, now. She didn't feel the need to count. Numbers didn't mean anything when you're in a situation like this. You just keep going until you've made it out the other end.

She and Rika watched as, above them, two fireworks shot up into the air, one bursting pink, the other silver.

"…Do you really think that Akise may be the only one outside the influence of the puppeteers?" asked Rika in the present, and Minene shrugged again. "Or could it be that he is unknowingly being used as their ambassador – as a direct link to them?"

Minene furrowed her brow, giving Rika a perplexed look. "I… don't think so. I've worked with Akise in my world, too, remember."

"Could that, too, be fabricated?" A pause. "…It may be a stretch, but I'm trying to think of every possibility," she admitted.

"Yeah, okay," the terrorist conceded.

"We don't know the origins of the game masters themselves… We don't know what power they possess… but when you say you and Yukiteru had the knowledge of the future in your hands… and neither of you foresaw this game, what does that entail? They could easily make up somebody like Akise."

"I mean, I guess you're right… but _why?_ "

"Do you really think that the game master would make such a mistake as to bring someone into the game _on accident?_ The items contraption doesn't work for him. He did not appear around anyone, and he does not technically belong to any specific group…"

"Well, what if, like… you know, you're saying there's more than one game master, right?"

"Yes," Rika confirmed.

"Well, who says they all agree with one another? Maybe one of them brought in Akise to spite the others, or something…" Minene paused, frowning. "…Because honestly, Akise is somebody that's gonna break the game, not play into it. That or the game will be the end of him, ya know? He's the kind of guy that I've heard can mess with the future even though he doesn't have it in his hands, I guess you could say."

"Someone who can break fate," Rika murmured, gazing somewhere far-off.

"Yeah," agreed Minene. "Like that."

"…I see. Akise shouldn't be here, that is so."

"Eh?" She looked at the ten-year-old only to find that she was smiling.

"Thank you very much, Minene. I will keep this in mind!" Beaming childishly at her, Minene sighed and ruffled her hair.

"Happy to help, I guess," she grumbled, and Rika giggled happily in response.

* * *

Nora sat alone in the dark of the cabin hidden amongst the trees of the eastern forest. The pink circle marked the spot on the floor where Kaneki, Shirazu, Psyche, and Delic had all first entered the game. Where Bishamon, Hiyori, Yuno, and B-ko had first began. Now it was a quiet place, abandoned and dark. A single ray of silver moonlight ran across the wooden floor. A scrap of paper lay discarded on the floor in the shadows of a bare table: it read _Psyche Orihara._ Nora figured it used to indicate the ownership of some weapon that had lain on that table, but as far as she was concerned, it was now just a scrap of paper and nothing more.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep, contented breath and released it slowly. It was quiet here. In this peace, she'd been compiling in her mind all that needed to be taken care of. As far as enemies went, there was certainly Izaya. Consequently, she and Yato would be targeting the ones he was working with. She thought of the demon's vessel and began to smile. She envisioned A-ya's red eyes, and the way they flickered and shone. She could tell easily the difference of temperature between the boy and the demon. The demon had eyes of ice, that was sure… but the boy, he had pools of scarlet for his irises.

"His eyes… are so very pretty," Nora murmured, bringing her hands to her face and opening her own eyes. "It really is too bad that he's allowed a demon to eat away his insides… If only he could harness that, instead… Hm."

She thought of Yato. He was surely awake by this time. She hoped so. Thinking of the group she'd left him to, she envisioned the beautiful anomaly named Rika. She vaguely wondered how she was faring, but decided she had no reason to muse over a human like her. _But it is true…that she's tied to a god._ _I wonder how long that goddess has remained at her side. I wonder how close they are. Whether they understand each other. Whether they're like a family…_ Something heated blossomed in her chest, and she smiled again.

… _I've decided that I don't like her after all._ She wrapped one arm around her knees, using the other to rub gently at her eye, stained with blood that had seeped from a laceration on her forehead. It wasn't new, in any case.

Yato's ailments should have been treated by that group. He needed to get better. She wanted that. She knew it was necessary. She also knew that they may try to convince Yato that Celty wasn't the one who killed Hiyori… but at this point in time, did that really matter anymore? He'd already started back on the path he belonged on; right where she wanted him. That bothersome Hiyori had softened him… but now Yato had already attacked every group in-game at least once. Maka was dead. The purple, flamboyant one was dead. The intelligent man with the tired eyes was dead. That blue-haired girl who knew too much was dead. All by their hand. All by Yato's hand. Surely he knew that there was no going back now. There never _had_ been any turning back, as much as he tried to. And that was the truth.

Smiling contentedly, Nora got to her feet and brushed herself off. "I know Yato will make the right choice," she said quietly, and walked forward on sandals that clacked against the floor, wood on wood. She went to the window, looking out into the forest as far as she could through the dark. _He will recover with that group. He will latch onto them, use them to get better._

 _And then, before long, I will see him again._


	28. To Know

**Sorry for the day-late update, everyone! Hope you enjoy~**

* * *

It wasn't until early morning that Izaya spoke. The first rays of dawn were seeping through the windows, and he couldn't stand lying still there any longer in that dreadful quiet. "A-ya-kun," he began, "what, exactly, are you thinking?"

A-ya lifted his head from his arms, his eyes weary. He hadn't slept well either, it seemed. He never even removed himself from the chair. Suzuya shifted on the floor, rolling over to look at the informant. Izaya wasn't surprised to know that the others (barring Twelve) were awake as he was.

"What do you really expect to do now that Twelve is in this state?" Slowly, Izaya sat up. "For someone who's made a deal with a demon… who needs to 'thin out' the players, the move that you've just made doesn't really suit you!" Izaya's mouth twisted, his eyes shadowed. "Why keep Twelve alive now? He's survived being disemboweled, which is _wonderful_ , sure… but he's right: he's lost a _lot_ of blood, and there's no way we can perform a transfusion here. I want you tell me right now, A-ya-kun… Do you _really_ intend to keep Twelve alive, knowing this?"

A-ya stared at him for some time. Suzuya's gaze had moved to the dark-clad boy. Eventually, A-ya answered steadily: "I do."

Izaya's smile waned, then dropped. "Then I suggest we grab some iron supplements; anything we can find. Fruits and vegetables; nuts and dairy products. Meat. He'll need as much as he can get once he wakes up, I can assure you."

A-ya blinked at him, vaguely surprised. It wasn't what he expected from Izaya, really, but on these words, he got to his feet. He felt admittedly strange without his cape. "Alright then… Izaya, you can get the vegetables and meat. How's that?"

Izaya smiled thinly. "My pleasure."

"I can get dairies and fruits, yeah?" suggested Suzuya, raising his hand.

A-ya nodded. "I'll find iron supplements and nuts. Twelve can choose what he wants when he gets up."

"We also need water," Izaya added.

"Of course," A-ya agreed. "Should—we keep someone near Twelve, actually…?"

Izaya shrugged, nonchalant. "Probably."

Nodding distractedly, he corrected, "Suzuya… stay with Twelve, instead. Izaya and I will split and gather things that he needs. If you want, you can try to find things that are in this store, but I don't want you leaving the building unless there is an imminent threat."

Suzuya blinked his wide eyes. "Oh, okay." The CCG officer watched the informant and the dark-clad boy leave the store with flat affect. He contemplated what sorts of things he might find in this store – maybe some of the supple-somethings. After they were gone and the glass doors closed behind them, the silence fell like snow. He looked idly to the sleeping Twelve, his breathing slightly shallow but otherwise even. The terrorist didn't exactly look healthy despite his easy rest, and the first rays of morning shining through the glass made him shine, his skin pallid.

Suzuya tilted his head, eyes narrowing in introspection. Mado was in this game, huh? She looked older. Takizawa, too, but he sure had changed. The albino thought back on his encounter with the orange-haired boy that had been taken down in hide-and-seek. He claimed that he was a CCG officer, too. Suzuya had to believe him, at least a little. After all, this boy had called him by his name.

The fallen carrot-head had squinted at him, confounded at first glance. "Ah… Suzuya? Suzuya, is that you?"

After Suzuya gave him a bewildered confirmation, the injured had laughed, breathless.

"I bet you're younger than I know, huh? You've got white hair 'n stuff; totally weird. I'm Shirazu, by the way. You don't meet me for a while yet. Nah, by the time I met you, you were a special class investigator. Can you believe that?"

Suzuya had tilted his head at him. "A special class investigator?" he repeated. He didn't know what to make of that. He'd never gone through the academy, and he wasn't exactly "warmly accepted" by the whole of CCG, by any means. If there was even such a thing as "warm acceptance." If there was, he'd never seen it.

"Yeah… A special class." Shirazu smiled weakly. "You're pretty… awesome, yeah. Why am I saying this? I dunno, really… But I've heard so many stories about how you used to be… such an underdog, y'know? And that was me, I guess… So I just wanted to say… like, you're gonna make it. You're gonna go far. I wanna say it now 'cause—I don't think I'll get the chance otherwise… I guess. You're really amazing. The leader who never leaves a teammate behind… I respect ya… That's all."

Suzuya _really_ didn't know what to make of that. What _was_ there to make of it? Was it truth, a lie? It was soon after that when Kaneki arrived. Suzuya recognized him from a few past events, but was unsure of whether he was supposed to kill him. Apparently Mado was on his side, though, so it was okay.

Now Suzuya was still trying to piece together that carrot-head's words. To call him a leader? A leader who never leaves a teammate behind, at that… _Well, think,_ he thought to himself. _Does it sound like a lie, or a truth?_ Pausing, Suzuya got to his feet. "It sounds like a truth, I guess," he commented thoughtfully. "But I dunno how to believe him." He stared down at the ashen visage of Twelve at rest. Gently, he put his hand to the resting one's forehead, brushing back the bangs plastered there. He was warm. Suzuya didn't know what to make of this. "…You'll be up soon. Sleep well." Turning on his heel, he skipped off through the shopping isles. "Iron supple-somethings, here I come~"

In a building just down the street, A-ya stood with a bag of pistachios in one hand and a bag of cashews in the other, deeply contemplating which would be the best thing to bring back for Twelve. With a shrug he came to the conclusion that he'd just bring both back. As he shifted the packages to one arm, he took pause as he coughed. Looking into his palm to find droplets of deep red, he wiped distractedly at his mouth and continued on his search for fruit, disregarding the evidence for his injury.

 **Loner, pay mind to your physical well-being,** thought the demon sourly. **Surely you've noticed the deal dealt you by that annoying orange one.**

 _I really didn't, actually,_ A-ya admitted. _I don't feel it at all…_

 **That's very inconvenient.**

 _Yeah, well…_

 **How did the action feel, by the way?** he inquired, regaining that tone of cold amusement. **After all, I let you do the job, Loner… That kill was all yours.**

 _Why ask? You know how I feel, don't you?_ Before Kuroha could answer, A-ya added, _Actually, I'd like to just have a conversation with you. Can we do that?_

The demon was silent for a moment. **…What do you mean?** he asked eventually.

 _I have a question for you._

 **Yes?** His tone had lowered; A-ya felt the demon's annoyance churning inside himself. He could imagine the tail of a serpent waving back and forth in impatience.

 _I love urban legends, Kuroha. I love the occult. I've gone over that with you, as strange as it is in this situation. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have said yes to that deal of yours. You know that._

 **Your point?**

 _What's your legend, Kuroha? I have you dwelling inside me, using my body as a vessel… You know, the whole package. So, exactly who is it inside me? What's the story of the Clearing Eyes Snake?_

At first only silence met his mental inquiry, though A-ya was unfazed by it. The dark-clad boy only continued gathering fruits – he figured berries were good, right? Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries…? He grabbed them all, wondering vaguely why they were still somehow fresh despite probably being out in the open since day one of the games.

Eventually, the serpent answered him. **Why do you feel the need to know?**

 _I told you I wanted to get to know you. I'm curious. Humans are curious creatures._

A-ya heard his laughter echoing in his head. **Right you are, Loner. What surprises me more is that you still persist in learning more about me even now.**

He shrugged. _I don't know what to tell you. You're a demon, not a human. You've got different values anyway, so it's not like any of what concerns me_ matters _to you. I already knew that. I told you that I enjoy the occult, that I enjoy urban legends. What's conspired in this game hasn't changed that._

Chuckling with that icy mirth, Kuroha answered, **Alright, then, Loner… I've been around for centuries, you know.**

 _Start from the beginning. I want to know where you come from._

A-ya got the sense that he had, perhaps, stroked the demon's pride just a little in asking him about himself. He almost found it funny. **My origins lie with my first master, you see. Have you heard the stories of a monster called 'medusa'?**

 _I have._

 **She is the one true Medusa… from my realm, in any case. Born at the beginning of time, she wandered the earth for a long, long while… This Medusa, this monster… My, she was a funny one! I'd been with her for as long as I… well, I had been with her for longer, far longer than she seemed to realize. I would speak, of course, but my words were incapable of finding purchase in her thoughts… Oh, for an eternity I waited for her – my master… All that time right within her, but she never** _ **did**_ **seem to notice me… No, that's right. I couldn't tell you how long it was I spent there, alone, anticipating the moment she would hear me for the first time…!**

 **My, it was a lovely thing, when she met me in the dark. In a pleasant, warm dream. Neither she nor I were alone; it was** _ **perfect**_ **. No, it did not last long, but it was the** _ **beginning.**_ **At last she had produced desire: a** _ **wish.**_ **An outlandish thing it was indeed, that! Imagine, this monster had fallen in love with a human! It was a path bound for tragedy – it was of utmost importance that I intervene, of course. So I gave her the solution to her problems. Together, we two would create an eternal world where time did not pass and she could keep her family together without fear of their inevitable deaths. Humans are so dreadfully** _ **mortal.**_ **Not my master. Not her.**

 **Oh, dear, just thinking of it now fills me with such sweet mirth! How much she had changed over all those years! What an** _ **idiot**_ **…** His tone dropped off into bitter amusement. A-ya found it intriguing that his manner of speaking shifted quite noticeably as he got deeper into his tale. **From that point on, though, I could speak, if only in the realm of dreams. My realm. My world. I convinced her that her family would live better without her, and she left them for that eternal dream we'd made together. From then on, it was only her and us, the snakes. None of them thought. None of them had real ambition or consciousness. I was different. My, how I mocked her after the decision was made… Now we'd be trapped there forever, and it was all her fault!**

 **She always watched the 'real world,' though, ironically. As if the world she'd created wasn't exactly what she'd wished for. Admittedly, I was also dissatisfied… I could speak to her whenever I liked, now, but what was the point when she was so consumed by her despair? Fool that she was, she allowed herself to fall in** _ **love,**_ **and that tore her apart. Now we belonged in unreality, where nothing was tangible…**

 **Well, it wasn't until centuries more passed and her daughter and granddaughter reached their death sentence that she made a move, drawing their cadavers into our endless dream out of desperation. Another desire was born; she had another wish for me, and of course I was ever so willing to oblige to my little master! It was impossible to revive them both… but using one as a sacrifice, we could make an arrangement for one of them to survive.**

 **I warned her that this decision meant her relinquishing the power of every one of us. I told her that she would no longer have any of the abilities of the snakes; I told her that we would no longer be bound to her command. She insisted upon my action; anything to save at least one of them.**

 **Thus, I sent the queen snake back into the real world with our master's granddaughter as her vessel. She would grow to the full extent of her life, unaware of the serpent planted in her. The queen snake kept the quarter-medusa alive, but she was not conscious as I am. Using this set-up, we serpents were drawn back into the real world one by one… by people who died in pairs, harboring wishes that we could grant. All of my brethren were anxious to return to their queen, upset by the separation. To say it was easy to convince them to return to the real world would be an understatement. All of them… and myself… were gradually reintegrated into reality, being drawn together to once again reunite with the queen… Two of these siblings of mine are on the playing field right now, in fact. The Recording Eyes Snake and the Awakening Eyes Snake are both amongst us.**

 _Your previous vessel… and the guy in the red jersey, right?_

 **Correct.**

A-ya thought on this for some time.

 _I wonder, do you know the meaning of the word 'loneliness'?_

Kuroha paused. **…I don't, though it was a feeling that brought my old master to me for the first time.** His tone was vaguely annoyed.

 _I see. Okay._ A-ya let it go. _But what was it, then, that you strived for? Existence, right? I know resetting your realm has something to do with the tale; you've brought it up before. In the end, it was to live longer… is that right?_

… **Yes, you could say that,** Kuroha admitted.

A-ya smiled and answered aloud, "Alright, then. Thank you very much for the story."

 **Are you satisfied, then?**

"In fact, I am," the dark-clad boy beamed slyly. "If ever I make it home, I'll _have_ to tell the others about that. That makes two, now! The tale of Deus ex Machina, the god that resides in imagination… and of the Clearing Eyes Snake, the demonic entity that was born in the realm of dreams! Think about it; granting dead kid's wishes and bringing them back to life? How cool is _that?_ Definitely a story I'd want to hear!"

… **You're not making it home, kid.**

"So?" he answered contentedly. "It's a great thought. I like that thought, even if it isn't real. Kuroha, I have something to ask of you."

 **What's that?** A-ya imagined his serpentine eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"When we reset, I want you to find me, and I want you to tell me that story again. Every time, so that there will eventually come a loop where I don't forget it. Okay? Because legends never die – you'll exist forever, no matter what happens."

 **That's not exactly what I** _ **mean**_ **when I say—**

"Hey, Kuroha?"

 _ **What?**_

"I can feel what you feel right now… Is the reverse true? Can you feel what I do?"

 **No, I cannot,** Kuroha immediately answered, and A-ya laughed freely as he approached the building where Twelve and Suzuya should be waiting for him. He kicked open the glass doors, his arms stocked with items for Twelve's replenishment. The first thing that struck him was Suzuya, looking down at the fallen terrorist in utter bewilderment. When A-ya looked at the floor where Twelve lay, he was then hit with the vibrant red coloring the cape that he'd taken from his own shoulders to warm the fallen one.

"It's red again," A-ya commented quietly, just as lost as Suzuya looked. As he approached Twelve, the terrorist began to stir.

Brown eyes fluttering and flickering open, Twelve looked blearily from the ceiling to Suzuya to A-ya. He smiled weakly.

"Good morning. I have iron supple-somethings," Suzuya offered immediately, shoving the bottles at Twelve before he could even process what he'd said.

He laughed feebly, trying to sit up and failing to do so. "Supple…somethings. My favorite."

A-ya quickly set down his items and helped him prop himself up. "I brought some food that might help."

"Blood loss sucks," Suzuya contributed with a nod, and Twelve gave another soft laugh.

"Y'thought… you could, get rid of me…? Heh."

"It's alright," A-ya assured without expression. "We'll get your strength back up."

"Good idea…"

"Hey, A-ya," said Suzuya, his brow furrowed. "Where's Izaya, though?"

"Hm," the dark-clad boy frowned, "I'm not too sure, but…" He shrugged. "He'll be back."

"Probably," Suzuya agreed noncommittally. "Oh, there he is now." They looked to the doors as the informant strode through them and approached, expression rather serious.

"Get Twelve to his feet," he commanded, and Suzuya immediately questioned him:

"Why?"

"I have a solution, trust me," said Izaya, smiling thinly. "Come now, Suzu-chan… Have a little faith."

Twelve did his best to help as A-ya lifted him as gently as he could. Suzuya went to his other side, and they stood with Twelve's arms wrapped around either's shoulders. Izaya snickered; they were both shorter than the terrorist. Poor Twelve couldn't lend much help to them, as much as he tried. The adrenaline from beforehand was gone; his fatigue was thick, pungent grey. Heavy weights, liquid. He was moving through cement. "Cold," he remarked, unsure whether he'd said it aloud or not. It must have been aloud, because Izaya took the red cape on the ground and draped it distractedly over the terrorist's bare shoulders.

"What are we doing?" asked Suzuya, and Izaya answered with a, "Follow me."

As Izaya led them from the building – he even held the door, how nice – he began to better explicate his plan. Knowing he was going to once they were moving was the only reason A-ya had agreed in the first place. "Twelve has just survived a pretty nasty injury," he began, leading them down the empty street slowly but surely. "Typically, people shouldn't survive something like disembowelment in this game… The fact that he's survived, though, is only one miracle. I know how the game masters work. Twelve is handicapped right now – just look at him! In that state, he can't do much at all. He'll bring the game masters disinterest if he's stuck this way for too much longer. If we don't do something, he's bound to die. However, the fact that he's made it this far means that the game masters have, of course, given him some way to properly recover. Where else would they hide it but at a special items module?"

"You're saying that the fact they've let him live this long means there has to be a way to make him better," said Suzuya. "Right?"

"Because otherwise, he'd just be an obstacle to them," agreed A-ya. "He'd bring stagnancy."

"Jeez," Twelve chuckled breathlessly.

"I've found one on this end here," Izaya said, and directed them into a pharmacy, holding the door for the three once again. There it was, at the help desk: a pillar emanating that familiar purple glow.

It flickered to life as they approached, the silhouette of the Voice appearing with its arms spread. " _One group at a time, please,_ " they smiled, and A-ya looked at Izaya.

"Here, you take this side of him. I'll back up." They switched up, and the dark-clad boy nodded to the informant in acknowledgment. "It was a good thought, Izaya. Thank you."

Izaya only smirked at him before turning to face the silhouette. " _Thank you kindly. Your choices are as presented._ " Without another word, they disappeared with an eerie smile.

The blue touch-screen was projected to them, and as they stepped forward, A-ya could feel his own apprehension building.

 **What will you do if healing him is not an option?**

He didn't grace Kuroha with an answer this time. He merely watched, thinking to himself that it would just be too good to be true for Twelve to be just fine after this.

Izaya, Twelve, and Suzuya all looked into the options: five in all, one of which was Celty. Two of the buttons were flashing cerulean, drawing their eyes to both options instantly. They were throbbing with the necessity of selection. One of the flashing options was, in fact, for Twelve: _Recovery._ The other…

"It's for that Yato guy," commented Suzuya bemusedly. "What's a Blessed—"

"It doesn't matter," Izaya spoke quickly, flatly, as he pressed the button for Twelve's healing. He was enveloped in that all-too-bright light, and they all closed their eyes in answer. As the light died, the informant added drily, "…I won't do that to him."

Suzuya wanted to ask who he meant, but decided he'd ask some other time.

Twelve slowly lowered his arms from Izaya and Suzuya's shoulders, looking down to inspect himself.

"Do you feel any better?" asked A-ya tentatively, gripping one of his arms with his opposite hand. He was still suspicious of too positive a result.

"I feel _great,_ " Twelve corrected, turning quickly on his heel in glee. "And look at this cool scar I've got!" To make his point, he gestured to the stitch-like scar on his gut where he'd been patched up.

Suzuya laughed. A-ya sighed lightly, smiling. Relief.

"It's certainly got a story for it," Izaya remarked, patting him on his bare back.

"No kidding," he beamed. "No kidding."


	29. Exchange

"So, when are we gonna get moving again?" Minene quickly grew impatient upon her waking the next morning, just late enough for Rika to had made everyone morning tea again, and for Akise to have made breakfast. "I'm not saying that it isn't a good idea to lay low, but… give me a reason or something. I'm getting restless, here."

"Yato needs to rest yet," Akise smiled at her, and both she and Yato scoffed in unison. They looked at one another a moment before quickly looking away again.

"Bullshit," she frowned.

[I think what Akise is saying is that all of us should rest.], suggested Celty.

"Exactly," confirmed the young detective. "I'm not implying that all of us are particularly drained as of right now, but I'd like to head out later in the day." He closed his eyes, sticking his hands back in his pockets. "Meaning, I'd like to take much of the day to recover, and leave as the sun sets. I'd prefer us to be active at that time, rather than risk the possibility of another ambush."

"Oh, good idea!" commented Yukiteru brightly.

Minene rolled her eyes. "We could get ambushed either way, Akise."

"That's true," he shrugged, "but I feel it would give us an advantage."

"He's right," admitted Yato. He paused to eye the terrorist. "People out there could be thinking, 'Ah, it's dark and people are resting. It's the perfect time to strike.'"

"Yeah, like you set up for two nights ago, right?" she growled, eye narrowing. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Yato looked away, seeming annoyed. Akise quirked an eyebrow at the terrorist while Yukiteru went silent, suddenly somber. The night Roy had died, huh…?

[Minene, please stop that.] Celty didn't very much approve of her prodding.

"Yato did that in a yesterday," Rika corrected simply. "Today is today. Not yesterday."

"Yeah, yeah," Minene waved her off, sitting down at her place on the floor. "I know. Besides, I know that he wasn't even _directly_ involved. It could be that that bitch Nora decided she wanted to lead that other creep to fresh meat – meaning us. So if you didn't do that, well, my bad."

"No," Yato said flatly, "I sent her."

Minene frowned at him for a bit, then busted into laughter. "Damn, well at least you're honest. What a shit!"

Yato frowned right back, leaning back on the wall and crossing his own arms. He looked rather displeased.

"I don't think this needs any further discussion," said Akise.

"From here, Yato does what Yato does now," Rika said matter-of-factly. "We see how he is from there, yeah?" She smiled at the god, but he only averted his eyes. "People do bad things all the time. Humans, gods, demons; they all have good and bad. That doesn't make them bad people, or bad spirits, or bad beings. When something goes wrong, people are bound to follow that path. That doesn't make it impossible to change it, that is so~"

"Yeah!" Yukiteru agreed heartily. "It'll all turn out. Right, Yato?"

"Sure," he uttered unconvincingly.

"Maybe you don't believe it now, but I do," Yukki beamed, and Akise couldn't help but smile as the ebony-cloaked boy proceeded to thrust Kincho at Yato in offering. Rika joined the scene joyously.

"He's cute," Akise commented to himself contentedly, and Minene looked at the boy detective. Celty turned her helmet to him, in turn.

"Cute?" Minene repeated dully. "Yukki's an annoying brat."

"I'd have to disagree," Akise answered calmly, touching his chin and closing his eyes. He was still smiling.

Minene was squinting at him. "You're not, like… You know."

"Not what?"

Celty was turning her helmet back and forth, from one to the other. She tilted it questioningly.

"Never mind," Minene grumbled, and Akise chuckled.

"Minene-san, it's alright. After all, I do like Yukiteru-kun as more than a friend. Not that he needs to know that in the current situation. Quite the contrary."

Celty seemed to gasp despite her headless-ness. [Oh! I didn't realize…]

"So you're gay, then," Minene said flatly.

"No, I just like him in that way."

"That makes you gay, kid."

Akise shrugged. "It's all the same to me. Love is love, and that's the truth."

[I respect that. I wish the best for you, Akise.]

"Well, thank you."

Minene rolled her single eye.

[Speaking of truth, Akise-kun, there's something I'd like to talk to you about…] She shifted a bit, and Akise blinked at her.

"No need to be nervous," he smiled. "What's it about?"

[I've been meaning to bring it up, but I'd like if you and I could speak alone.]

"That's perfectly fine." He looked at Minene, who raised her hands up in acceptance. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll go over with Rika and Asshole, over here."

"You could at least say Asshole _-san_ ," Yato frowned.

"Ah!" Yukiteru jumped to his feet. "That's right! Celty-san, I wanted to ask you something, too!"

Celty pointed at herself in confusion, and Yukki nodded emphatically. Akise chuckled at her bemused response. "Why don't the three of us go for a walk? Celty-san, are your arms strong enough for defensive purposes?" The Dullahan stiffened, but Akise only spread his arms with a smile. "I know you've been having issues. It's alright to be honest – no, it's almost imperative that we are all honest with one another, here. Shall we?"

Dumbfounded, Celty nodded her helmet. Unfazed, Yukiteru joined them in their venture outside of the house, leaving Yato, Minene, and Rika together. Before stepping outside the door, Akise took a glance back at Yato. "I expect you'll take good care of Minene-san and Rika-chan, yes?" He gave a closed-eye smile. "We won't go far. Ah, and Minene-san, please don't argue too terribly with Yato-san."

"No promises," she said dismissively.

Chuckling, Akise left with the other two. "I hope," he said to Celty, "that it's alright for Yukiteru-kun to tag along."

"Um, I can leave after I talk to you, if you want," Yukki offered to the dark rider, playing with his fingers and smiling awkwardly. "I mean, I get it if only he can hear about it. Since, well… Like, only you can hear about what I… Uh…"

"Type it onto her phone," suggested the detective-to-be. "Would that be alright, Celty-san?"

Nodding her helmet in approval, Celty handed over her phone to Yukiteru. "Ah, thank you…" Yukki sure was glad Akise understood this kind of thing. No suspicions, no jealousy or anything… It almost made him nervous, like surely Akise was hiding something else. Because of course _nobody_ could just _understand_ one another and _trust_ one another without question. It was so alien to him. Yukiteru thought of A-ya and thinned his lips in discomfort. _No, I think that's the way it's supposed to be. But Akise trusts me… and I trust him, too. It's okay. It's okay._ As he looked at the keypad with nervous blue eyes, he thought, _I wish I could tell Akise about Aureus, too._ Thumbs hovering over the _romaji_ letters, he froze. What if he was wrong? What if Celty _wasn't_ the one that had found Aureus in the female game? Even worse, what if she had refused Aureus's offering in some violent manner? What if Aureus didn't approve of Celty after all? What if she'd tell Akise?

"Ah, you're shaking…" Yukiteru felt Akise's hand at his shoulder, and he jumped, looking only to find Akise's warm smile. "It's okay, Yukiteru-kun. I can leave for a bit if you need to be alone with Celty-san."

Yukiteru couldn't even hear him past, 'It's okay.' All he could think was that Akise sounded every bit like C-ta to A-ya, and then all he could see was those placid green eyes after Keiichi had died, and he looked at the phone in hand on instinct, as if it were his future diary. As if he hadn't been in this damned Emina Games for however long. As if it were _his_ phone, and not Celty's; as if it held all the answers, like whether Celty was safe to trust, or whether Akise really actually wanted to help him, or—

Yukki shook his head. "U-um, it's nothing. I mean. You're okay. Um. Don't leave. It's fine." He thought as quickly as he could about what the best way would be to ask Celty about Aureus without giving it away. Hastily, he typed the word 'hatch,' and passed it back to Celty. He couldn't put into words why, but he didn't want that phone in his hands any longer than it had to be. Suddenly, Yukiteru craved the safety of knowing his future. He shook his head again, mostly to himself. As he passed over the phone, he caught Akise's eye. His friend was still smiling, tilting his head in a look of reassurance. When the phone was gone, Akise's hand was at Yukki's wrist. Yukki smiled weakly back at him.

Celty tilted her head at the simple message. _Hatch?_ She thought of an egg, perhaps, or a plan. [I don't understand.], she said to Yukiteru, whose face flushed in embarrassment.

"Here, um…" He took the phone back and thought about it again. 'Do you know of a wooden hatch?' he typed, then handed it back to her. Yukki watched as the Dullahan stiffened, darkness puffing out from underneath her helmet.

[One that leads underground?]

Yukiteru nodded happily. His fear subsided for the time. Akise put his hands back in his pockets, pleased that Yukiteru's anxiety had quelled.

[You know Aureus?] Celty's posture implied her immense shock and awe, leaning towards the fourteen-year-old in rapt attention.

Yukiteru nodded even more vigorously. "A-ya and I," he explained.

[Really!]

He furrowed his brow as he smiled at her. He knew he had to pick his words very carefully. Just because Akise wouldn't be reading Celty's phone screen didn't mean that he was now suddenly deaf. "Yeah, you'd been mentioned, too."

She brought her phantom hand to her helmet, amazed. Why hadn't she considered the possibility that someone else had found Aureus? Of course it had to have happened! But to think, it was Yukiteru… And A-ya, apparently. [Were there any others?]

"I… not with us," Yukiteru said slowly. "I think we were the first… After, I don't know."

[This is exactly what I wanted to speak with Akise about!] she exclaimed in her silent way. [With the information that Aureus gave us, we'll be able to work together to end the game!] Pause. [If there's anyone we need to tell, it's Akise, don't you think?]

"I-I thought that we weren't supposed to tell anyone…," Yukiteru answered nervously, rubbing at his arm. Akise was listening to Yukiteru's half of the conversation, his hands in his pockets. He seemed unconcerned.

Celty thought about Yukiteru's point, her phantom hand to where her chin would be. She typed, [That doesn't mean we can't tell him the most important thing.] Yukiteru tilted his head in question, and she continued, [Not about Aureus himself, but the things he told us: where the Control Center is, how many game masters there are, how to end the game, etc.]

"Oh!" Yukiteru blinked. "Of course; why didn't I think of that? Akise! We have to talk to you about something!" Celty nodded her helmet in concurrence.

Akise smiled. "Yes?"

"Uhh." He looked at Celty. "Where do we start?"

She hesitated, then began typing rapid-fire. [We have information regarding these games.]

"I've come to figure so," Akise said, and she began typing again.

[The game masters are centered in the tower at the center of the game field – there are seven masters in all.]

"But not all of them are so bad," Yukiteru piped in. "Some of them don't agree with this game at all, in fact. But the one or ones controlling this stupid thing is in that tower."

Akise was nodding. It made sense.

[The construct of the game doesn't let the ones who commit unnecessary violence to finish the game and reach the end.] Tap-tap-tap. [In my game, there were 9 of us left, but even after reaching the tower, nothing happened.] Tap-tap-tap. [Someone named Eto didn't fit into the system, so the game couldn't end with her alive.] Tap-tap-tap. [I think it was because of her self-serving attitude.] Tap-tap-tap. [Because of her violent intent.]

"And this game, um," Yukiteru piped back in, "…this game's goal is really the cooperation of everyone on the field. So, all the power players, all the bosses… they can't make it. The reason nothing happens if all players approach the tower is partially because of that. Um, there was something else…" Yukiteru squinted as he thought about it while Celty tilted her helmet a bit in question. "Minene… blew up the tower. That was wrong."

Celty straightened as if to say, 'Oh. Oops,' or perhaps, 'Oh, I could have told you that.' It was hard to tell.

"There is an entrance to the tower, but it's underground." Yukki scratched his head. "I don't know exactly _where,_ but that's how you get in."

"And knowing the masters of this game," Akise added, "there's likely one more challenge awaiting us in order to gain entry. Beyond that, I'm sure there are even more trials." He began to chuckle as he watched Yukiteru deflate.

"Yeah," the cloaked one agreed wearily. "You're probably right."

[We'll worry about that when we get there.] A firm statement.

Akise agreed with a calm nod, bringing his hand contemplatively to his chin. "So, the both of you are implying that… you may or may not have had contact with one such game master that didn't like the course this game has taken?"

Yukiteru blinked. [We may or may not have, yes.], wrote Celty.

"And, if that _were_ the case… this person is probably where Yukiteru-kun got his gravitational abilities, and why Celty-san is able to use the items modules even though the others from her game cannot. …That may or may not be true?"

Yukiteru looked at Celty, and Celty turned her helmet down to face Yukiteru. They both looked back at Akise and nodded. Yukiteru swallowed.

Akise stroked his chin. "And – theoretically, of course – this person wouldn't want you telling me about them, because that's classified and something horrific might befall you if you betray that secret?"

"Um," said Yukki. "Theoretically… I guess so?"

"I see," Akise smiled. "Thank you, both of you. This is very important to me." He pulled his blue notebook out of his pocket along with a pencil and began to write the information given to him down for future reference. "I'm glad we've had this discussion."

"Me too," Yukiteru grinned. "I feel so much better! Ah, something like that kind of info… shouldn't we tell the others? And Yato! If we tell him that, then surely he won't leave or anything, right?"

[We should still be careful, Yukiteru.], Celty warned him, and his smile faded.

"Huh? But wouldn't it be better if everyone knew those things?"

"It's also information that can be taken advantage of," Akise admitted. "Somebody could try to cheat. Like, for example, Minene-san demolishing the tower of your game." He nodded to Celty, and she scratched at her helmet.

"Well… oh well." Yukiteru shrugged it off. "It's fine, because he's already doing much better. You were right, Akise-kun—I really think he was just misled and upset, you know?" His hands were gripped into fists in front of him, his excitement growing. "Just like Hinata and Mao were, right? Just like A-ya is! And we can help them, just like we helped Hinata and Mao – I bet _all_ of the bosses in this game aren't even all that bad! I bet all of them are just as confused, do you think? We could even get through this game without having to kill anyone else – we could _save_ them! Can't we?"

"I'm sure… it's possible," Akise said carefully, touching his chin thoughtfully. "We'll have to be careful if that's the way we're going about things, of course…"

[There may be a few that just have ill will.] Celty warned them, and Akise nodded.

"There's also that. At this point in the game, those may be few and far between after all. But they aren't yet eliminated."

"That's okay," Yukiteru beamed. "Like you said, there aren't many."

"It just means we must be wary about the line between these people and the ones we can help," said the boy detective, and Yukiteru nodded.

"Yeah, I know!" he said brightly.

Celty turned her helmet to Akise in a wordless expression that perhaps Yukiteru _didn't_ know. Akise only shrugged, smiling at her. "If anyone can change someone's fate, it's Yukiteru-kun."

"Yeah!" A jolting _crash_ resounded from their shelter as though in ominous punctuation to his optimism. They all turned to the house, Yukiteru's smile dropping. Angry shouting rang out from what sounded like Minene. Without a word, they all ran back.

Rika had been conversing politely with Minene and Yato both, all of them sitting or kneeling on the floor of the house with Kincho sleepily nestled between Rika and Minene. "Hopefully, we will all be spending lots of time here together, now, that is so~ I hope we may get along!"

"I don't get along well with people I know I can't trust," Minene uttered drily.

"I don't get along well with people who are dicks," Yato uttered right back, crossing his arms indignantly.

"Oi, I have every reason not to trust you!"

"And you're a dick, so." Yato shrugged.

"What the _hell_ …"

"You're a terrorist, aren't you? You kill kids."

"And you haven't?"

Yato paused. "Not on purpose," he conceded, and she rolled her eye. "…For a long time, anyway."

"Right, right. Whatever."

"Past is passed," piped in Rika. "What Yato does is what he does today, not yesterday. It's the same for Minene."

"Whatever," Minene repeated. "Fine—aren't you supposed to be a god?"

"Your point?" Yato frowned.

"Why are you wearing a _tracksuit?_ "

"Why _not_?" he sniffed.

"And what the fuck was thing you had when we first fought? A napkin around your neck?"

Yato blinked. "My…" He paused, then closed his eyes, turning from her in distaste. "That was my scarf. I don't want you dissing it when I don't even have it anymore."

"Good. It looked dumb. And yet…" – she gestured to him – "…tracksuit. What _are_ you, a Russian gangster? Trying to look like a _bad boy_?"

" _What?_ " Yato turned on her. "Alright, I'm not even _from_ Russia! Do I look Russian?! My hair is _purple!_ "

"So? You're also wearing a tracksuit."

He pointed at her accusingly. "Well, what are _you_ wearing? What kind of jacket is that?! Your neck is covered, but your cleavage is exposed – what, is that supposed to be your pocket? You've got money in there?"

"N-no!" she snapped, going pink. "What's wrong with that, anyway?"

"So that _is_ where you keep your cash?"

"No!"

"Then what, is that supposed to a be a terrorist thing? Trying to baffle the police with your boobs?!"

Rika hadn't seen Minene lash out the way she did at Yato in that moment. Kincho jumped in shock; her fist was at Yato's head in an instant, and he crashed right through the thin wall behind him. Moments later she had him by the collar, shaking him violently. Kincho was squealing in distress. "Ya want me to beat you?! I will! I don't care if you're a god!"

"Sto—uh—" In reaching out to push her away, he had only served to complicate the issue by grabbing the breasts in question. He grinned sheepishly at her, and she slammed him back into the ground, jamming her knee into his back and wrapping him in a chokehold before he could regain a sense of things. "I'll die—I'll die!" he wailed, but she only held tighter.

" _Yeah_ you will, you little shit!"

"I didn't do anything _wrong_ this time!"

" _This time_ —exactly!"

"I'm innocent! I—owowow…!"

Celty and Yukiteru burst through the door in all urgency. Before them was Yato in Minene's chokehold, with Rika holding Kincho in the background. The youngest smiled at all of them. "Ni~paa~"

Yukiteru and Celty deflated. "…Uh?" Yukiteru was so lost.

Akise followed after his friends into the house, his hands in his pockets. "Minene-san, please release Yato. He has yet to recover."

"What did he _do_?" asked Yukiteru weakly.

"He's a shit," Minene growled in explanation.

"She insulted my tracksuit," mumbled Yato, his hands gripping the arm wrapped around his throat. "She obviously doesn't have a concept of 'comfy.'"

"Minene-san, put him down," Akise sighed, while Celty and Yukiteru seemed to silently agree with the command. Grudgingly, Minene released him.

Rubbing at his neck, Yato frowned at her. "Jeez, what's all that about… Doing that in front of a kid, how terrible."

"I swear to God…" She was grinding her teeth together.

"I'm sorry." He turned to look at her. "I _am_ God," he grinned, and she punched him square in the face once more. He lay there with a weak smile on his face. "…Ow…"

"Perhaps we should all take time to properly rest," said Akise, brow furrowed as he watched Yukiteru kneel beside the god, asking if he was alright. "We'll… stay here for a few more hours or so. Is that alright for you, Yato-san?"

"Ah… yeah…"

"Ah!" Yukiteru leaned over him. "Is it that Yato's coming along with us for sure?"

"Eh—"

"I'm so glad!"

"Nii~" cried Rika in approval.

"Oh… uh…" Yato scratched at his head. "Of course, I'll protect Yukki from a tyrant like Minene~"

"I can't believe—" Minene stopped as Yukiteru lit the atmosphere with light laughter. "…You're actually going with it, Yukki?!"

"Minene-san's nice when you get to know her, I promise," Yukiteru assured the god happily. "Just like you, Yato!"

"That's debatable," Yato said quickly. "I mean, my category is less in the area of 'nice' and more in the range of 'garbage,' so—"

"None of that degrading business," said Akise. "For now, let's all rest."

"I can make tea!" Rika chirped, jumping to her feet.

"Thank you," the detective-to-be smiled. "Minene-san, no more fighting with Yato-san. I'd like for him to be feeling at least a bit better when we do head out."

"Yeah, yeah." The terrorist crossed her arms irritably over her chest.

"Honestly, Minene, you should be a little more gentle with someone so weak and helpless like I am," Yato snickered, and she knocked the back of her fist into his side. He curled forward, laughing with tears in his eyes. "…I'll… shut up now, okay…"

Shaking his head, Akise sighed even as he smiled. A bothersome personality, maybe, but nothing that was evidence of ill will, really. He felt that he'd made the right choice, indeed.


	30. The Problem Is

The alliance of nine members retreated from the torn area where hide-and-seek had taken place, heading further into the middle of the city itself. Somehow they'd gone on all night, purely by accident. Come morning, they settled themselves in a hotel lobby, everyone making an attempt at getting comfortable in the couches and chairs set out for guests. There was a hotel café just beside them all, but no one seemed in the mood to eat besides Konoha, who offered pastries to the others in vain. A general sense of weariness and distress had settled over them all. They all introduced or re-introduced themselves. Shintaro made his rounds with the medical bag, tending to Akira's ankle and Shirou's lacerations as well as the slightly-less-recent wounds of Shinichi, Rin, and Hide. Shinichi's stub arm was properly wrapped in gauze, along with Rin's arm and Hide's shoulder. Unfortunately for Shintaro, Rin had found a new object for her taunting: the hikkiNEET himself. His flustered and stammering way of trying to answer her only served to amuse her further.

The talk was mostly tense. Roppi cautiously asked what happened to Light, his eyes averted. Kaneki couldn't look at anyone in the eye upon mention of the missing member's name. Shirou's explanation was "missing in action." Akira's explanation was that he was "presumed dead, so don't think too much on it." Shintaro's explanation was in the realm of "we actually have no idea; I don't wanna talk about it."

"There's something we need to discuss," said Kaneki eventually, and in the scattered conversations, all others present went quiet and looked at him even though his voice was rather soft. Kaneki folded his pale fingers together in front of him. "We need to talk about Seidou Takizawa."

The quiet earned a greater weight. Hide distractedly scratched at his cheek, tilting his head and eyeing his friend with a brow that was slightly furrowed. Akira crossed her arms over her chest, eyes distant and unreadable. Shintaro looked someplace far-off. Roppi rubbed restlessly at his arm. Shirou lowered his head a bit, jaw tightening.

Konoha raised his hand. "Which one is that?"

Despite everything, Kaneki's shoulders relaxed slightly, a small laugh escaping his lips. "The one… ah…" He touched his chin.

"When you first joined us, he'd been fighting with us against that god," tried Shirou.

"He, uh, kinda resembles Kaneki?" offered Shintaro. "But with a cloak? And um—hungrier? I guess? I'm sorry." He hung his head.

"Ah." Konoha nodded. "He thought I tasted like sushi. I remember this."

Akira put her hand over her mouth. She didn't look very comfortable with the way this conversation was going.

"That's right, we needed to help him also," Konoha added, eyes shining in some kind of enlightenment even though he remained expressionless. "I remember this, yes, I do. He is the one who ate his mo—"

"Please stop," Roppi said, looking vaguely ill.

"Oh."

"Sounds pretty messed up," commented Rin, folding her arms in front of her. "So, what are we supposed to discuss?"

Shintaro lifted his head. "Are we going to… decide to help him?"

" _Help_ him?" Rin repeated.

"He's gone through something within himself that none of us could truly understand," Shinichi said, his tone dead. "He's caught at the point where he doesn't believe in the name 'Seidou Takizawa.'"

"Oh yes, he did say he wasn't Seidou Takizawa," said Konoha. "But then, who is he?"

"Did you guys—meet with him?" asked Shintaro, brow clinched.

"It's—a story," said Roppi, clipped.

"It's not that he's a different person, or anything," said Hide, bringing his hands casually behind his head. He leaned back on the loveseat that he and Kaneki sat on. "It's just that he needs to be reminded that Takizawa's still Takizawa. Right, Mado-san?"

Akira stirred, but didn't know how to answer.

"What if he _is_ a different person?" Kaneki asked faintly.

Hide frowned at him. "'Neki, just because he's changed doesn't mean he's a 'different person.' It just means he's gone through some stuff, and he's got some demons to deal with. Y'know, that's the way things go…" He closed his eyes, content. "Just like Kaneki's still Kaneki. Shinichi's still Shinichi. You know?"

Kaneki stared him. Shinichi looked at the ground; a light smile touched his mouth.

"I think that's exactly the way to go about it!" Shirou exclaimed, gripping his hands into fists. "He just needs to be reminded of all the things he once fought for!"

"Oh, jeez…," Rin sighed.

Shintaro swallowed. "What if… Um—what if that's been so warped that… um, he spins it on us, I guess? Think about it. 'I have my ideal, and this is it.'"

Roppi laughed bitterly. "Oh, yeah, and then he holds up someone's severed head as an offering like, 'Yeah, isn't this great?'"

"Er—" Shintaro shifted uncomfortably. "Something like that."

Shirou was touching his chin, eyes dark. "That's a good point," said Rin.

"I guess that could be…," Shirou agreed grudgingly. "One of the first things he said to me… It was about his ideals. He basically said that the _ideal_ of a hero was a lie, but the basic concept of a hero was still possible. The real question is what he thinks a hero is now… huh?"

"I-I don't know if I want to know," Shintaro admitted.

"I'm sure it's not the same image as it once was," Akira concurred, her voice soft. She sounded as distant as she looked.

"So are we gonna try to help out this guy or not?" Rin huffed.

"I think we should," said Shirou.

"I—I want to, too," said Shintaro, "but…"

"As of this moment," Kaneki came back in, "whether Seidou is able to be saved may not even be the question."

"Wait," said the hikkiNEET, "then what is it?" He seemed a bit edgy at the idea that perhaps they were trying to solve the wrong problem.

"Do tell," Akira agreed.

Kaneki bowed his head. "There is every possibility… that he's not just a product of his evident torment. The game masters have been following the same pattern again and again: they threw antagonists into the game from the beginning – back then, it was the demons… What happens when they are defeated? Who became the antagonists?"

"It was… Seidou," Shirou said, eyebrow cocked. People were beginning to get the picture he was trying to paint.

"And A-ya," Shinichi added darkly.

"And Yato." Shintaro had a look of disturbed enlightenment on his face. "All of the new bosses are only bosses because of some mechanism of the game, right?"

Roppi had his sleeve to his mouth, his eyes dull. "Yato had Yukine, but that kid was killed by Kuroha's group."

"A-ya had his losses," Shinichi admitted.

"And of course the snake that took over Konoha before would try to tempt him…" Shintaro swallowed. Was it his fault that Kuroha had come back, too? He thought of Aureus's warning of the consequences that may arise when bringing someone back to life. If the result was Konoha's return, then surely, also… Shaking his head, he continued, "And with Seidou, it was all triggered because of that fast forwarding mechanism, right? We know that already, but the point you're making – the game masters create more antagonists from previous players as soon as the current bosses are cleared, right?"

"So?" asked Rin. "That makes sense. Of course they would want to spur the game."

"But maybe it's more than that," said Hide, uncharacteristically grim. "Imagine you're the one making this game. This antagonist is your new boss; you're not just gonna up and let them turn back on that, right? You're gonna want them to stay an antagonist, right? Because for everything to be resolved without a ton of carnage… Well, if they're watching this like a TV show or a movie, like, I wouldn't want my movie to be like that."

"I wouldn't mind," mumbled Shirou, while Rin sighed.

Roppi's sleeve was still at his mouth. "I think these game masters enjoy stories of the tragedy type."

"Wow, they're like you, Kaneki!" beamed Hide. "I'm kidding—I'm kidding, of course."

"Right." Kaneki closed his eyes.

"So then," Shintaro said tentatively, "…you're saying that we… _can't_ help him… right?"

"I'm saying that it may not be Seidou's choice." The half-ghoul had his hands still folded in front of him, his thumbs pressed together. "It may be that Seidou… perhaps along with the other current antagonists… They may have lost all free will in regards to the path they take."

"That'd be terrible!" Shirou remarked, straightening in his seat. His golden eyes flashed in indignance.

"That makes sense, as much as it sucks," Hide nodded.

"Is it really the case, though?" inquired Shinichi. "Why would the game masters keep such a tight grip on his path, or A-ya's, or Yato's? If it _were_ just Seidou, then why? Even if it were all of them, why _them?_ There are a few people here that were almost antagonists – isn't that also true?" Kaneki touched his chin, eyes darkening, while Roppi averted his gaze in distinct discomfort. "Now… that's including myself. What changed that?"

"Um…" Shintaro half-raised a hand. "I mean… I feel like something like that… may be determined by what happens to you, or whoever's the subject at hand. Circumstances change what path someone goes down."

Rin crossed her arms again. "But does that mean that even if someone goes on the right path, it isn't their _choice?_ "

Shintaro blinked. "I…" He hung his head. "I don't know…"

"Maybe it just depends," offered Konoha, quiet. "For one person, they want to see what they do on their own. Another person; they are troublesome for the masters, so they force them one way or another."

Hide frowned slightly. "So then the question becomes the difference between Seidou being interesting to the game masters… or being annoying." He rubbed the back of his head. "Well…"

"It _is_ true that antagonists are necessary for the 'game' to continue," Shinichi conceded. "If no one wants to fight, what game is there? And with a lot of potential bosses getting the circumstances that lead them in the right direction, then the stragglers afterwards are the needed bad guys, right? And that means Seidou, I guess…"

"It could be some kind of point being made, too," suggested Hide, running a hand through his bleached hair. "If this is 'entertainment,' things have to fit together just right. Maybe it has to do with who's survived this far… Maybe the choice has to do with… I dunno, some kinda symbolic statement about what's going on with the good guys. Maybe it's because they've just got this creepy liking towards him!" Hide threw his hands into the air. "They've probably got favorites, too. Hell!"

"If it really is the case," said Akira carefully, "that Takizawa is subject to the control of the game masters… and has therefore lost the free will necessary to be saved… then it would be best to put him down… preferably as swiftly as possible."

"I—can't accept that," Shirou frowned.

"We also don't know that for sure," pointed out Shinichi.

"But which is worse?" added Shintaro. "If he were unable to snap out of it because of that outside force, or that he just—didn't make the right choice of his own accord?"

"I think Roppi has something to say about the matter," Kaneki said calmly, and the alter drew his lips into a thin line, shoulders rising.

"I, ah…" Roppi prepared to speak firmly with a tone other than dry bitterness. "One of the game masters came to me. She, um… Her name is Seraph." He paused, seeming lost in thought. Everyone was staring at him in rapt attention. "She—said she was against the game, and even though the whole thing was really damned suspicious… I think I believe that much of her. And even though I'd thought I was being ambushed by another player, maybe, I'm pretty sure she was… definitely a game master. She knew—a lot. And she told me about how Seidou could technically be saved, but there were two game masters in particular that were holding him to his fate because they didn't want him to return in any way to who he was."

"You met—?" Shintaro looked more perplexed than surprised. The others ranged from shocked to interested, or perhaps a bit of both.

"Yeah, she… Hm." Roppi crossed his arms loosely. "She seemed pretty pissed about the whole thing, too. Said she'd been trying to give him at least a _choice_ , but…"

"If she doesn't like the game," questioned Rin, "then why is she a game master?"

"Maybe she doesn't have a choice either," Roppi said flatly, and Rin didn't have an answer.

"But if that really is the case," said Shirou, "then what do we do to fix it?"

"Perhaps we just need to off him after all," Shinichi remarked thoughtfully.

"There's _gotta_ be another way," rejected Hide, scratching at his cheek.

"This game master," said Roppi carefully, "gave me an option to break him of the grip of the others."

"What? How?" Shirou was leaning forward, eager.

"There is an item…" Roppi paused, swallowed, and continued. "There's an item I've attained; a product of the game masters. A mechanism of this stupid game…" He pulled the Harrowing Blade from his pocket and stiffly held it up for the others to see it: its ebony hilt inlaid with rubies; the hidden blade glinting crimson in the light of the lobby. Shintaro was the only one who wasn't looking. "This knife… when it draws blood, it draws out the worst of a person."

"How is _that_ going to help?" Rin shot at him.

Roppi didn't take kindly to the interruption. "Maybe you'll find out if you're quiet."

"Allow Roppi to finish, Tohsaka-chan," Kaneki said coolly. She only frowned, silent.

"Although this mechanism is a terrible thing, alone…," Roppi continued, going slow as he thought out his words with all caution and preciseness. "…Yes, it's a terrible thing; definitely. This blade… has drawn the blood of both Kaneki and Light."

Akira and Shirou thought hard on this. The confusing incident that left them with the suddenly-illogical Light Yagami, severely injured by Kaneki, who had up and left just as suddenly… It made a lot more sense now. Shintaro, on the other hand, just bowed his head.

"Wow, the worst of 'Neki, huh?" Hide grinned wide. "He doesn't seem so bad!"

"Surely this isn't—I mean…" Shirou scratched at his head. "It's not a _bad_ thing, but I don't think this could be the worst of you, Kaneki. If… if only because I know enough about people to understand everyone has a, uh… pretty bad side."

Rin gazed at him with slightly-softened blue eyes, but Shirou didn't notice, his gaze somewhere distant.

"…Even if it seems like a completely different person," said the red-haired one.

"That's just it," Roppi said seriously. "You can reverse the effects of this thing, and this… this veto is just as important a rule as all the others in this stupid game. It's a part of what the game masters set up, so they can't… they can't argue Seidou's own free will if he gets _this_ mechanism reversed."

"Wait, what?" Konoha tilted his head.

"Like…" Shintaro paused, groping for better wording for the android, as well as for the other confused faces in the circle. "Something like—the game masters are the reason that Seidou doesn't have free will right now, right? That's because of some sort of ridiculous antagonist clause in their gameplay. But—if those same game masters made this, too… and if this is an item that's supposed to stir the plot… then any of the rules they've made surrounding this blade… They can't argue against their own mechanism." The NEET nodded to himself. "Yeah, they can't argue against their own mechanism," he repeated. "That's what it is."

"I… think I understand," Konoha said slowly.

"Then, say we draw Seidou Takizawa's blood," said Shinichi. "And this draws out the worst in him. Let's say we figure out how to reverse it. Then what? This gives him free will back… I'm not saying that's bad. It's very good. But…"

"Will Takizawa make the wrong choice?" Akira asked, her voice quiet but heavy.

Roppi shrugged. "She informed me that if he made the wrong choice, his sins would come crashing down on him. I'll believe her on that only because… if you look at the bad guys, they go through a lot of shit. Sebastian was slaughtered, and Kuroha was torn to shreds inside and out before finally dying—"

"I did the inside," Konoha said, soft and proud.

"Oh, Konoha," Shintaro sighed, finding himself smiling a bit.

"Exactly." Roppi gestured to Konoha as if it proved his point. "Maybe the snake dude's back, but I'll bet he's already injured, and who _knows_ how troublesome that 'A-ya' kid is for him? Izaya's been an asshole, and look at him – he's caught in a group with that very demon, and even though Izaya is a screwed-up douchebag, he would _not_ side with a demon; not like that. Yato's been torn to shreds at this point, too. I wouldn't be surprised if he just collapsed somewhere, honestly."

"Alright, so if this Seidou guy makes the wrong choice, he'll eventually be punished," conceded Rin. "But what about immediately?"

"Immediately, people may be killed," Kaneki answered bluntly. "There is a heavy risk involved in what we are discussing. Whether we decide to put him out of his misery or attempt to save him, there will be possible sacrifice either way." He closed his eyes. "Of course, no one will be forced to partake in this."

Roppi nodded in agreement.

"In any case," added the half-ghoul, "even if Seidou comes to the positive conclusion, there may be casualties despite that victory. This isn't going to be easy in any stretch for the imagination, and we have to be prepared for those possibilities…"

"If this is so risky," said Akira coolly, "then we must take into consideration the fact that it may be better to kill him swiftly…"

"I don't like it," Shirou frowned indignantly.

Akira closed her eyes. "Please understand. If it comes to be that more people would die in all if we were to try to save him, then that simply isn't the correct path to take. Sacrifice one for the many… We must go for the ideal possible outcome."

Shirou frowned. "One for the many, huh…? It's… interesting." As Akira raised her eyebrows in question, Shirou looked to the ground. "When he first came to… after fast forwarding… it was the first thing he said to me. 'I am that sacrifice,' he said. 'I am the product of that ideal.' Can that really be right…?"

"I do not think Seidou will make the wrong choice, if it were his own," said Konoha simply.

"What makes you think so?" asked Akira coolly.

"This person… Seidou. Yeah, we met him on our mission to help Kaneki." He tilted his head slightly. "He helped Roppi, even if it might have been on accident. It might be that I just don't understand… exactly what happened, but what it looked like… I saw two people telling one another how much they're hurting, and then deciding there's nothing to do about it. Seidou, he told us that he didn't want this; I know that for sure. He said that he hated it the way things were; I remember that." Konoha touched his lips thoughtfully. "I think he was right to be as upset as he sounded. Because the world really is a scary place."

"You know what, Konoha?" said Hide. "I think you're absolutely right!" He leaned forward. "In that last battle – Rin-chan, Shinichi, you guys remember?"

Shirou blinked, bemused. _'Rin-chan'?_

"I remember, alright," Rin frowned, recalling the death of Senji.

"Well…" Shinichi brought his hand to his stub arm as he recalled the event. "…Yes?"

"I know it kinda sucked," Hide conceded. "I mean, who knows how I would've ended up if 'Neki didn't show up when he did? But… like, Seidou was really trying there, when he recognized me. I'm sure of it – he's just a little miffed about what's been stolen from him over time."

Rin scoffed. "A _little miffed?_ "

"He has… a hole in his heart, that's all," said Shinichi softly.

"He was at the last battle, too!" Shintaro blurted, all tensed in his excitement. "He—I saw him in the window when I was on the balcony!"

"What was he doing there?" Akira asked calmly.

"I, uh…" Shintaro blinked.

Shinichi was thoughtful. "I don't suppose he could have been the one to cause the explosions…"

Shintaro shook his head vigorously. "No—no way, I know who that was. There's this guy—a terrorist; he says his name was Twelve. He was one of the new players, so—"

"Maybe he was trying to stop this Twelve guy?" suggested Hide.

"If only—I'd gotten to speak with him… or something…" Shintaro put his face in his hands, thinking hard on anything else that would prove Seidou had hope for him yet.

"When I was under the influence of the blade Roppi has," said Kaneki, "…Seidou did confront me. My memory is blurred… I do wish… that I…" He paused, eyes dark. He shook his head. "I do know that I said some cruel things to him, but on the other hand, he was no better. I do remember… getting the idea that he didn't have the capacity to accept responsibility. His ruefulness is too potent for him to handle, I'm sure… Or at least, something along those lines. There was also…" He closed his eyes. "Edgar Allan Poe… Something to do with…" He trailed off, and everyone was respectfully quiet as he tried to recall the event. "…I do believe that he is to some degree aware of whatever control has been placed upon him. He himself understands that what has happened with him doesn't make sense in context, and I do have a vague recollection of his mockery of his own position as a puppet."

"Puppet," Konoha repeated.

"He did mention that he thought everything he came across right now was nothing but a sardonic set-up," remarked Roppi.

"The question, then," said Shinichi, "is whether it's his bitterness talking or… or it's a cry for help in disguise."

"I'm sure," said Shirou, "that he wishes for help. I just don't believe he's aware of it."

"Let alone that he'd admit it," Shinichi agreed.

Roppi had brought his sleeve back over his mouth by then. "But there's still a greater problem at hand: if we _do_ take this risk and try to harrow Seidou, we need to know how to reverse the effects as quickly as possible. We don't want to have him harrowed for long, and I'm sure he'll have even less control when he's under the influence of this blade."

"Well," said Shirou, "when did Kaneki dispel its effects?"

"We'll have to go on that single instance," added Rin with some distaste, "seeing as the other guy is 'missing in action.'"

Kaneki nodded. "It was… ah, I'd heard Hide in that battle you referenced a minute ago." He looked at the bleached-blond boy. His childhood friend beamed goofily. "For some reason, I hadn't noticed how distorted everything had become… Yet, hearing him cut through that distortion. It was very disorienting; I wasn't quite sure what I was to do right then. I could tell that I was being drawn to continue being as I was – I was in the midst of a fight with Yato, in fact… But, thank goodness, something possessed me to run through the trees and make sure Hide was alright. It was just after I'd stopped Seidou from hurting you, Hide, that my thoughts really came back into focus. It was a burning sensation, as if I were being purged of something poisonous. It wasn't unpleasant… rather refreshing, actually… But immediately afterwards, I felt reality come back into focus too. I admit I felt… very, guilty for my actions."

"It's all good, Kaneki," Hide grinned. "You were super badass back there. Who would've thought you'd be that strong? Seriously!"

"So it was Hide that broke the effects, then," said Rin.

"Or was it the desire to help?" inquired Shinichi.

"Maybe even the act itself?" suggested Shirou.

"No, no," argued Rin. "Think about it – if the action broke it, wouldn't the effects prevent him from ever doing that?"

"Willpower?" the redhead tried with a shrug.

"So a strong will to help another breaks it…?" Shinichi thought on this.

"It was his voice, he said," Shintaro said quietly, deep in thought.

"Then, was it Hide's voice specifically, or was it the sound of distress from Hide specifically?" asked Akira. "Is it dependent on a person, or is it the combination of this person being in distress?"

Kaneki thought before he answered. "I think… that even as I got closer and I could hear Hide talking normally, it still had a sense of clarity to it."

Hide was practically glowing with joy.

"…What?" Kaneki was frowning ever so slightly.

"I dunno," Hide waved him off. "I missed ya too, bud."

A Mona Lisa smile touched the half-ghoul's lips, only for Kaneki to clear his throat and hide it with his hand.

"Now then, what are the requirements for this person?" asked Shirou. "What is Hide to you?"

"…Ah." Kaneki blinked.

"We've been buddies since the elementary," Hide said proudly. "I do my best to look out for this guy." He nudged Kaneki, who smiled lopsidedly despite his furrowed brow.

"A protector, then?" said Rin.

"Or a friend?" said Shirou.

"Or a hero…?" said Shintaro. Everyone looked at him for a moment, and he quickly turned his face to the ground, flustered.

"A hole in his heart, you said?" Konoha tilted his head, looking at the half-parasite.

Shinichi straightened. "I did."

"How do you fill something like that?" asked the android. "What is the meaning of 'love'? Can it come in the form of someone like Hide for Kaneki? Or you with that little hand-man?"

Shinichi's brown eyes widened. Absently, he brought his still-attached hand to his chest, his orbs glazing. "I…"

"Even if there is a hole in somebody's heart, can it still be filled?" Konoha persisted. "Even if someone doesn't have a heart at all, can it still be felt? Why do people do things like 'protect,' even when most often it seems that you will fail? Why are people sad when they fail to protect? What is the meaning of the term 'friend'? What about 'hero'? What do these mean? Aren't they all still from the same place – I mean, the heart?"

Shintaro was gazing at his android friend with sad, awed eyes. "Konoha…"

Shinichi was visibly distressed, his jaw tightening and his hand gripping at his chest as he lowered his head, staring at nothing at all. "I—you're…"

"Ah, I am sorry…" Konoha sank slightly. "Have I hurt you? I didn't mean to… Ah, and I never apologized… for…"

"No, it's alright," Shinichi said calmly, releasing his chest. He did not raise his head. "You don't need to apologize."

"You—have a good point, Konoha," said Roppi, eyes narrowed. "It makes sense, being tied to the heart and all. If this thing draws out the worst of you…"

"Then, someone who draws out the best of you?" tried Shirou.

"Maybe," Roppi said thoughtfully.

"Not necessarily," Shintaro said slowly. "Couldn't it be… just that? Someone you really care about? Come kind of—connection you have?"

"It is true," conceded Shinichi, his head raised to reveal his blank face, "that Migi didn't necessarily bring out the 'best' of me… going by Konoha's argument."

Shirou scratched his head. "Then someone with strong ties to them, huh?"

"Like, Shintaro?" asked Konoha, tilting his head.

"Oh, no, no." Shintaro waved his hands in front of him. "I—I'm not for that. Him and I… I mean, we couldn't have been— _all_ that close…"

"Maybe Kaneki," suggested Roppi, and the half-ghoul smiled apologetically at him.

"I don't think Seidou would take kindly to me right now," Kaneki admitted, hand to his chin.

Hide eyed him, curious. The bleached-blond one then sighed heavily, folding his arms over his chest and holding up a single finger. "Isn't it obvious? Who has the greatest association with Takizawa?" Hide turned to the silent Akira, quirking an eyebrow. "Who's the one that can get through to him the best, huh? Who do you think?"

Akira stared at Hide, her jaw set. She had nothing to say.

"His number one to his second-place complex; I see," commented Kaneki. Everyone was looking at the female officer now, her stature stiff.

"You know," said Shintaro with a weak smile, "I told you—he did want to apologize… He did have affection for you in some way or another… That's something—you need to know, I think…"

"So the only one that can do it is Akira?" asked Rin.

"I guess it's up to her, then, huh?" said Roppi, eyebrows up.

"As I'd said before," Kaneki said, "no one will be obligated to join in this, regardless of what we choose to do. Knowing Akira is the best bet to purifying the effects of the blade, it seems it will be up to her which course of action to take."

"At this point, it's hard to tell," remarked Roppi, eyes dead. "We may not be going on a rescue mission after all."

"It may not be a rescue mission in the first place," Rin pointed out. "It could just be a suicide mission."

Shirou stood and turned to face Akira, who had been sitting beside him. "Akira-san, I don't wish to impose. However!" He bowed deeply. "I ask that you please take this into consideration!"

Akira's head was bowed, if slightly. She did not look at him. When she spoke, her voice was low. "Do you really think…" She raised her gaze to him, violet eyes shining in something reminiscent of desperation. "…that I don't want to help him?"

Shirou began to deflate, looking at her with some kind of sorrow.

"I don't know, Shirou. Everyone. Please. I would like… some time to think."

The gazes upon her were colored with different shades of empathy or apology. Rin was looking away.

Eventually, Kaneki answered her with that slight warmth touching his lips. "Of course."

Konoha smiled gently. "I'm sure we will do the right thing," he said.

"Perhaps, for now," said the half-ghoul, "…we should rest."


	31. Undercurrent

"I'm sick of this system," Aureus said firmly. He was leaning back in his swivel chair, legs criss-cross-applesauce, barely fitting on the seat. In his dimly-lit haven beneath the earth, he was facing Seraph, who was leaning forward and nodding at him. " _That's_ why I'm doing all of this 'dirty' stuff, as you put it. Jeez." Restless, he ran a hand through his golden hair. "I'm so— _frustrated_ about all of it…!"

"And that's why I'm here; you know that, right?" said Seraph.

"I _know…_ " He tugged angrily at his hair. "I'm just _pissed off…_ " Although the items master was incapable of leaving his hatch, Seraph had at last come to meet him down here, ready to conspire together.

"Me too," Seraph smiled slyly. "We're gonna mess with Muse; we'll make _them_ wanna kill _us!_ " She burst into joyous titters.

Aureus gave a weak sigh, looking over at the screens. "Well, it looks like the Unity Group's talking about that plan you proposed," he remarked, and she peered at the screen curiously before her mouth spread into another grin.

"Oh—yay!" she clapped her hands, spinning around in triumphant giddiness.

"Using my Harrowing Blade to get Seidou out of the mess Muse has got in store, huh…? Do ya _really_ think that they don't know about this…?"

"I know Muse _knows_ by now," Seraph huffed.

"…That we did this behind their back?"

"Hm, I dunno." She put a finger to her lips, contemplative. "Probably." At Aureus's exasperated look, she giggled. Watching him bring his hands to his face and then slowly drag them down, her smile dropped. "Have they decided to go with it? Do you think it's a good idea, Aureus?"

"I mean, _yeah…_ Kind of…" He rubbed at the back of his head, squinting at the screen. "Are they _going_ with it? I think they will. I'm less worried about the purification and more worried about the act of harrowing Seidou at all… you know?"

"Well, do you have any other ideas?"

"I— _don't…_ " Aureus shrugged. "Honestly, if he's gonna end up killing Akira because of this, I won't be happy at all… I'd rather he'd injure her and take her along with him. Drag her to the graveyard and have Anna—"

"We don't talk about the graveyard," Seraph said flatly, her countenance suddenly very grave. Pun not intended.

Aureus raised his hands peacefully. "My point is, they just wink out of existence. I'm okay with that. What would be the symbolism of him actually killing her?"

"Who said Seidou was going to kill her?" she sniffed. "He won't!"

"He _might._ "

"He _won't,_ " she insisted. "The worst part of him; who says it's his violent nature? Does it have to be sadism?"

" _Well_ …" Aureus still didn't seem convinced. He paused, unfazed by Seraph's demanding stare. He gave up, releasing another sigh. "I do think this'll work. I just don't think it'll work _well_."

"They've pretty much figured out how to fix the effects of the blade," Seraph pointed out. "Greyson and Rainbow are the veto to that item, and both you and I know what that means."

"Bonds of the heart, yeah, yeah…"

"I already talked to them," she added. "Rainbow said that Akira would work if Seidou were harrowed."

"Alright, alright," Aureus conceded. "So they'll be able to purify him… That's good… I don't think Akira's gonna turn this down, as much as she's conflicted about it."

"Oh, she won't turn it down," Seraph smiled thinly. "I know she won't."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Yay, character development?"

"Yay!" she agreed heartily, clapping her hands again. "It's very important; she's doing so well! I'm glad…"

"Yeah, well, I'll believe you," Aureus said carefully. "I'll go with it and say that Seidou won't, you know, pluck Roppi's head off like a pineapple or rip Akira to shreds in blind rage. If the Harrowing Blade really is negated in time… then Seidou should be alright as long as other groups don't intervene. Or Muse doesn't intervene. I can at least give you that. Alright?"

"Alright," she grinned a closed-eye smile, folding her thin fingers together. "So, you're against Muse now, right?"

Aureus looked at the stone ceiling, yellowish-auburn in the half-light. "I wouldn't say I'm _against_ them… but… yeah, I want them to burn in a pit of fire and flames." He paused, then flashed a grin at Seraph.

"Great!" she squeaked. "And—it'll all turn out _o_ ~kay. Not a bad end route like Muse wants."

"Yeah," Aureus repeated distractedly, looking back over at his screens. "Like Muse wants."

Seraph peered at him for a moment, perhaps curious, before she bit restlessly at her thumbnail and turned to eye the screens again. "Yeah," she echoed.

* * *

" _Grey, look." Someone with hair every shade of the rainbow turned their laptop screen to a silver-haired one, tilting their head in half-hearted curiosity._

" _Hm…?"_

" _This_ armadillo _; I swear to god…"_

" _Uh-hmm…"_

" _It really likes Celty," said Rainbow, containing their laughter as they shook their head. "Hilarious."_

" _Yeah…" Greyson paused, nestling themselves beside Rainbow on their couch. "I'm kinda impressed that… um—Yukiteru's holding up like he is."_

" _He_ needs _to find A-ya," Rainbow said sadly. "I really_ need _them to… to…"_

" _I want them to fight to the death," remarked Greyson._

" _Of_ course _you do._ I _want them to kiss. Or something."_

" _They can kiss or something right before one of 'em dies."_

" _That's_ terrible. _"_

" _I wanna see Izaya cry, too." A thoughtful tangent._

" _God damn it, Grey." Rainbow began to laugh again, appalled yet unsurprised. "I want Shizuo to be, uh, not-dead."_

" _So they can kiss?" asked Greyson flatly, eyebrows raised._

"We-e-ell _…" It was then that Muse entered the room they resided in: a lower floor of the tower which Greyson and Rainbow called home. Muse's arms were spread, smile on their face._

" _Rainbow, Grey, how're you guys doing, hmm?~"_

" _It's been awhile," remarked Rainbow, and Grey jumped to their feet, running giddily over to Muse to hug them. They accepted the embrace graciously, unfazed by the nuzzles of affection they received. "Well, actually not that long, but you know."_

" _It's still nice to see the Muse~" chirped Greyson, and Muse laughed lightly._

" _I take it you're both well; I'm very happy." They folded their fingers together behind their back, smiling thinly. "I don't suppose either of you know where Seraph went?"_

" _No, oh no," said Greyson immediately. "Not at all." They clasped their hands together in front of them, tapping the fingertips of their index fingers together. "No."_

" _Nah," said Rainbow, more thoughtful. Their eyes were on their screen, away from Muse. "I thought she was with Durden."_

" _She isn't," said Muse simply, smiling just the same._

" _Not with Durden?" Grey remarked. "Well that's weird. She wouldn't be with Rodd, right? No."_

" _Yeah, we haven't seen her since when Shintaro almost went off the deep end," added Rainbow._

" _Which time?" asked Muse._

" _The time when he almost went_ XX, _" Grey said excitedly. They began tapping their fingers together in rhythm: evil plotting fingers. "It was_ wonderful… _"_

" _I'm kinda glad he didn't go XX," said Rainbow._

" _But it would be_ fun! _" grinned Greyson._

" _Yeah. But isn't there_ enough _stuff going wrong?_ Grey? _"_

 _Muse, quirking an eyebrow, released a sigh. "Ah, well, at least I tried. Just wondering! I'm going to go and keep an eye on all the players, then." They were smiling again._

" _If you ever wanna 'keep an eye on' them with us, you can," said Rainbow, gesturing to their laptop._

" _Yeah, it would be nice to spend time with the Muse," added Grey, leaning into Muse._

 _Muse only smiled and politely waved their hands before them. "Ah, yes, thank you very much. I'll keep this in mind, yes I will. For now there's something I need to think about as all."_

" _Okay…," said Grey._

" _Alright," said Rainbow, nodding agreeably. "Sounds good."_

 _They gave their simple farewell exchanges, and Muse left. Greyson returned to Rainbow's side. Both were silent for a few moments. Neither dared speak about Seraph. "I miss Muse," said Grey quietly._

" _Look at this kid," said Rainbow. "Rika's amazing."_

 _Grey looked at Rainbow, then at the screen. They seemed to agree silently over something. "…I guess she is," they said._

 _Muse, having left their area, rose up from their floor to the top of the tower, the elevator softly whirring as they ascended. The smile had dropped, their hands opening and closing, opening and closing. Their breathing was deep. A static rage buzzed within them. "It seems they won't admit it… huh," they commented to themselves, their gaze steady. They were very still besides their opening and closing hands. The elevator door opened, and they stepped out onto their typical residence during this game. While Aureus could not leave his hatch, Muse was just as aware that they could not leave their tower. "Seraph and Aureus are spending time; I am very…_ glad. _" They calmly walked to their desk and stood there. And stood there._

 _Eyes placid, they crushed Twelve's already-mangled contraption with their foot. "They're doing all this to help Seidou Takizawa… Interfering with Roppi. Working with Aureus. Their plan makes it sound like I don't_ want _Seidou to be saved. As if I wouldn't let him be… of_ course _I would… Of_ course I would… _As if I'm not being_ fair, _right?" They smiled, relaxing shoulders they hadn't realized they'd bunched up. "Of course I'm being fair. I'm being perfectly fair. They absolutely have the capability of saving Seidou… so if they_ really believe _that I'm being biased… not letting him improve… If you go against me in_ that _way, well, I'll just have to punish you for it." They plopped themselves on their swivel chair, contentedly grinning. "That's right; that's all there is to it! That's it! Let's see how pleased you are with_ that _outcome, then, hah?_ Hah?! _" And they laughed in the company of themselves. They were all that was._

* * *

The sun was beginning to set, the sky taking on that pale shade that meant the night was on its way. It was at that time, in the yellowish air, that Akise said it was about time to head out. Needless to say, Minene was pretty relieved to get moving again. "So is the heavenly douchebag actually sticking around, or are we parting ways?" she asked bluntly, and Celty seemed to sigh.

"I guess that's me, huh?" remarked Yato, looking thoughtfully to the sky as if were some kind of profound observation.

"That would be up to Yato-san," Akise shrugged pleasantly, his hands in his pockets.

[I agree.] said Celty. [I think Yato should decide from here whether to continue on with us.]

Yukiteru seemed rather concerned. "I thought that…" He wrung his wrists. "Well, you know…" Akise glanced at Yukki, smiling slightly.

"If I have the opportunity to take my leave…" Yato brought a hand to his chin.

Yukiteru looked at him hopefully. After all of that, hadn't Yato even implied himself that he was staying? Surely there was no question! The only answer was to stay, wasn't it?

"Well, I guess that means I'm leaving," Yato said matter-of-factly, and turned right around to face the woods. "Nice meeting all of you; thanks for saving my life and whatever~"

Yukiteru slumped, appalled. Celty straightened, utterly stumped. Akise quirked an eyebrow.

"WHAT?" snapped Minene, grasping him by his collar and yanking him backwards with a yelp of protest. " _After all that,_ and you're about to up and ditch?!"

"I—well, I mean—you just said—"

"That was _supposed_ to be your chance at redemption, dumbass!" she growled.

"Yato is a part of this group now," said Rika sweetly. "That is so~"

"It's certainly true that all of us want Yato to come along: even Minene-san, it seems," said Akise with some amusement. She frowned at him. "It's almost considered out-of-character. I'm impressed."

"Fuck you," she growled, and Akise chuckled.

"I…" Yukiteru paused, thinking hard. He clenched his hands into fists, and Yato looked at him curiously. "I don't think I _want_ to let you leave. I think we all know what would happen if you left now. Don't you? I'm not an idiot, okay? Isn't it true that only one of two things would happen with you, Yato? You would return to causing conflict, wouldn't you? Or you'd get killed… And I don't like either option! I wanna be your friend, so c'mon…!" In all his determination, he gravitationally tugged Yato to his feet again. Minene was leaning away from him, still a bit flummoxed by Yukiteru's whole new ability or whatever.

Yato, although standing upright now, was not looking at anyone, especially not Yukiteru. His eyes were dark and cold.

Akise brought a hand to his chin, thoughtful. "Perhaps Yukiteru-kun has a point, however… Those wounds you have, Yato-san… I'm sure they're not healed quite yet. It may be best for us to keep you around a little bit longer, wouldn't you say?" He smiled wryly at the god. "You know. To make sure you're alright. That's all."

"I'd be fine," Yato answered, clipped.

"No you wouldn't; that is so~" Rika pranced up to the god and tugged at his hand only for him to pull away. She looked disappointed.

"On the contrary," Yato said, his tone low, "I think it would be better for me to be gone. You all know it just as well as I do."

"I have no clue what you're talking about," Akise smiled, hands back in his pockets. "Do explain. Whatever you do is up to you, isn't it? You have every bit of control, so long as you're aware of your own agency. Isn't that so?"

"Ni~paa~" agreed Rika.

"I've accepted your hospitality thus far, but I won't anymore," Yato said flatly. "I want nothing to do with your group."

"I _knew_ he was a dick," Minene scoffed.

Celty stood, still. Her phone was in her hand, her thumb hovering over the keyboard as she searched for words. At last, they came to her. [The God of Depravity, the God of War, the God of Calamity – that's what you said.] She held it up to him, and he nodded, staring into the dark glass of her helmet with a steady gaze. [And what does that mean to you?]

Yato furrowed his brow. "I don't know what you mean…"

[Do you feel like a God of Calamity right now?]

He rubbed at the back of his head, perplexed. "I mean… who says it's gotta _feel_ like something? I'm not… well, I guess so?"

[You don't sound so sure.]

"It doesn't matter whether I _feel_ like it; that's what I _am_ ," Yato frowned. "If some human doesn't _feel_ human, does that make them inhuman? What does that make them? Do they become something else?"

She thought on this. [Sometimes.]

Yato scoffed.

[I'm very sorry about what happened to your friends.]

His eyes narrowed.

[I can with all sincerity tell you that I never even met the girl named Hiyori. In fact, I didn't kill anyone at all, even in the other game.] Pause. [I did aid in the murder of the half-ghoul Eto, but she was an antagonist that needed to be rid of, unfortunately.]

"What's your point?" Yato asked bitterly.

Celty hesitated, then asked everyone, [If I take off my helmet, can I be assured that I won't frighten any of you?]

"It's fine," Akise smiled, while Yukki's eyes widened in alarm. Was A-ya right? What if she was _actually_ headless?

[Minene, could you please cover Rika's eyes?]

"She'll be fine," Minene waved her off.

"Nii?" Rika tilted her head.

Slowly, Celty removed her feline-esque biker's helmet, releasing an outpour of thick black smoke which thinned and dissipated in the great reveal of stark nothingness. There was, in fact, no head on her shoulders… just a steady trickle of dark smoke.

"Ooo," commented Rika, interested, while Minene nodded in approval.

Yukiteru's jaw dropped. A-ya was right! Fear gripped him even though he kept trying to tell himself that this was surely really cool; this was amazing – a living legend! If only A-ya could see…!

Well, he kinda wanted to scream, honestly.

On the other hand, Akise could only remark, "Interesting…," in all his pleasant intrigue. Glancing at his silver-haired friend, Yukki shut his mouth, managing to calm down with Akise being so… well, okay with this.

Yato's scowl dissipated into bemusement as he looked at her. He'd sensed something about her, but hadn't been able to pinpoint what sort of being that power would originate from. What _was_ she…?

[I've been told that I'm something called a Dullahan. Do you know that title, Yato?]

It _did_ sound familiar to him, but he couldn't quite remember what it was that defined this creature. It certainly wasn't a being of Japan.

[I guess not.] She paused. [It's something like a 'headless horseman.'] Pause. [A grim reaper who chooses who's next to die.] … [It's something that doesn't have a lot of positive tales surrounding it…]

Yato was quiet. He didn't have an answer.

[So I guess my point is…] She faltered again, perhaps unsure of herself. She didn't seem to be very comfortable with her helmet off. [I live a relatively peaceful life without my head at my side.] Tap-tap-tap. [I wanted to find it for so long, but in the end, I do believe that I've become something different than I was born to be.] Tap-tap-tap. [I live happily with a man named Shinra. He has been very kind to me.] Tap-tap-tap. [I've made friends of both human and non-human origin.] Tap-tap-tap. [I may get caught up in a lot of violent situations, but I don't ever mean harm to anyone else. Even if I punish a human for something foolish or cruel, I do not kill them.] Tap-tap-tap. [Am I still a killer, then? Do I need to continue to be? Perhaps I can still bear the title 'monster,' but does that mean I have to fit that mold?]

Yato's gaze averted to the ground, but after she typed her next message, she brought her good hand to his shoulder, her phantom hand clutching at the phone to display her message to him, albeit with darkness emanating about her nonexistent hand. He looked.

[Your nature doesn't matter. You're your own person. You don't need to be defined by your title.]

The others were silent as Yato crossed his arms uncomfortably over his chest. In this pause, Celty slowly put her helmet back on. It was just as she had situated it properly that Yato spoke up. "You really didn't kill Hiyori, huh?" he said. He couldn't look at her. Not that it made much of a difference, apparently.

[I didn't.]

"I bet… you were friends with Shizuo, weren't you?"

She straightened, holding her phone to her chest. She didn't have any words to display. Her hands seemed to tremble, if slightly. The darkness about her quivered.

"I figured." He smiled wistfully. "I annoyed the crap outta him, let me tell you. Yukine and him got along real great. And I'm sure… he'd get along with you, too… Ah, well, my point—it's that Shizuo… he was a good guy. I'm glad I got to work with him. I felt horrible when he…" He trailed off, unwilling to finish.

[Thank you.] she typed.

"For what?" he asked, guarded.

She paused. [I don't know how to put into words.]

"Just accept the damned thank you," grumbled Minene. She sounded bored. "So are ya comin' or not?"

"Well, it's not that I want to stick around…" began Yato, "…but maybe it would be… safer, if I… stuck around—you know, I just don't want to die. That would suck."

Yukiteru jumped at him, giving a joyous outcry. "I'm so glad!"

Yato grunted in pained annoyance. Akise stepped in: "Careful, Yukiteru-kun… Yato's still healing."

"Eh—sorry…"

"No, no!" Yato squeezed the cloaked boy about the neck, ruffling his hair. "It's fine~" Even though now Yukiteru was wailing in protest. "I'll take _very_ good care to protect Yukki~"

"Don't break him," Minene said dully, and Yato released him.

" _You_ are one of the culprits to keep an eye on!" he said accusingly.

"Oh, be quiet!"

Celty tilted her helmet, lost.

From Rika's arms, Kincho grunted.

It was Akise who eventually began leading all of them up the dirt path to begin their venture, wherever it led them. Minene and Yato were bickering as much as ever, while Akise, Celty, and Yukiteru kept to themselves, not too talkative. On occasion, Yukki would jump in with Minene and Yato, but that was about all. Rika was listening to everyone, smiling to herself.

Looking at the yellowish sky, Rika found herself content. It was certainly true that Yato had been on their side in previous routes. How many times had Yato been the one that fought fate from the start, striving with all his might for a happy ending? She knew for a fact that Yato was a good person at heart, even though he'd started down the wrong path in this route.

It was true, at least, that they'd never taken in Yato when he was this deep in antagonism, but then again, that _was_ Akise's idea, wasn't it? And Akise didn't exist in any other route besides this one…

 _Even if Akise is suspicious,_ she thought, _at this point, I can't necessarily say that anything's gone wrong… In fact, he has, perhaps, taken Yato and saved him from his path of demise. A player thrown in by a game master who isn't in favor of the game, huh, Minene…? Maybe._

Kincho began to squirm in the beige hat that once belonged to Yukiteru. "Nii?" she inquired of the armadillo, and it squealed at her. Politely, she held the animal closer to the ground, and it jumped out of the hat and scurried over to Celty to climb all the way up to her shoulder. Rika watched the Dullahan go rigid in surprise, then stroke gently at its head with her index finger. Kincho grunted in approval.

Rika watched without expression. She didn't need to wear a childish air when no one was paying her any mind. _I must admit that Akise is still an anomaly, good-willed or not. Perhaps I shall bring it up to Yukiteru. He seems even closer to Akise than Minene is, so maybe he has further information in regards to his nature, or his origins…? Regardless, Yukiteru should know the strangeness of Akise's situation…_

"Rika; Rika!"

Rika didn't visibly react as Hanyuu appeared to her. The others wouldn't be able to see her, nor hear her. Rika noted that Yato faltered in his step, turning to glance back at Rika in vague confusion, perhaps suspicion. Yukiteru distracted him again pretty quickly.

Rika frowned at Hanyuu in disapproval.

"Uuu, oops…" The lavender-haired goddess twiddled her fingers, nervous. "Perhaps that god can sense when I— _wait_ a minute! Since when is Yato here with all of you?! How dangerous is that— Isn't that bad? Isn't that scary?"

Rika shook her head slightly, and Hanyuu gave her characteristic wail.

"I—I _know_ that he's good in some routes, but isn't he _not_ good in others? Like—like _this one?_ "

Rika shrugged.

" _Rika!_ " Hanyuu cried. "This wasn't _your_ idea, was it?"

Rika nodded to Akise, and Hanyuu looked downright horrified.

"It was _Akise's_ plan? Oh, oh no, oh no, no, no, no… uu… uwaauaauuu…!"

Rika didn't look concerned, nor amused. She frowned at Hanyuu and cocked an eyebrow, still not making eye contact.

"Oh, yes, I _was_ here for a reason… Th-that's right… Um…" Hanyuu paused, hovering along after their group, slowly making their way to wherever. "S-so, A-ya has killed someone else, now… It was someone from Kaneki's group, you know? This route, Kaneki's not an antagonist, so it's okay. I mean—well, it's really _not_ okay because someone died, and it's just _really_ not good… Um… Izaya seems to be… kind of… conspiring against A-ya… but… it's hard to _actually_ tell… because he's Izaya…" She rubbed at her arm uncomfortably. "I still don't like him. Even if he is trying to do good here… somehow… I'd bet it's for himself. Really. Even if it weren't, I _still_ wouldn't like him. D… d-don't laugh at me…!"

Rika had taken to chuckling slightly under her breath.

"Although, apparently A-ya, Izaya, and Suzuya… all of them did do their best to help Twelve, who was mortally wounded."

Rika's brow furrowed slightly.

"He's actually alright now. Rather strange. Twelve isn't in every route, himself… For him to survive, it is surprising. I am glad; I do like Twelve." She folded her hands together, her eyes averted from Rika. The human tilted her head slightly at the goddess, but Hanyuu only shook her head. "Twelve says some beautiful things. I like him." She paused, and Rika waited. For Hanyuu to come back in such a rush, something far more important must have transpired. "But—there's something else, too. Rika… Somebody else—someone else remembers all the other worlds of this game…!"

This received some response: violet eyes wide, she flicked her gaze to the goddess in alarm.

"Y-yes! He is in Kaneki's group now… His name is Shintaro, and he referred to them when speaking to Izaya. As he recalled, his eyes were red—it _is_ true that they were reminiscent of A-ya's eyes… But there was no such feeling of malice! This boy has the ability to _remember,_ Rika! We need to find him and come to a plan of action; surely we can help each other!"

Rika nodded slightly, her eyes filled with sudden conviction. How interesting. Perhaps this was an intriguing route, after all. She sure was glad Izaya had stopped her from killing herself; hah!

"I can lead you to them; I can…! We need to reach them as soon as possible – they are about to embark in a very risky mission, and I wouldn't like for Shintaro to perish before we can speak with him…"

Rika continued looking straight ahead, to Yato and Minene, to Yukiteru, to Celty and Akise.

"I know… But we should bring it up to them somehow. We've gotta meet up with them… Somehow…"

Rika nodded again. With a set goal in mind, she had no reason to give up. Perhaps there was hope for this world after all.


	32. Threat to Life

After the incident of Twelve's near-death experience, the group of four left the shopping district once again to set themselves up at the edge of the western woods. Before this, Twelve had remarked upon the fact that his 'Double Open Heart' shirt was ruined and he was now shirtless. "Not to mention," he added, "that my blue shorts aren't really… blue anymore." He proposed that he find himself some new clothes before they went anywhere. He ended up picking out a red t-shirt and jeans, with a yellow-beige blazer for good measure. Twelve even found a pair of glasses and asked how he looked only for A-ya to say, "Stop." Suzuya blinked bemusedly. Izaya laughed, at least.

Discarding the red spectacles, Twelve pranced along with the others with new vigor and new character design. Very exciting.

"I think my new scar kinda looks like a centipede, don't you?" he'd ask on the way.

In regards to the items module, A-ya had taken his turn to make his selection. As he stepped up, however, the silhouette said to him, " _One group at a time, please!_ "

A-ya was confused at first, turning to look at the others only to find that all of them had backed off quite a lot. Izaya shrugged at him. Turning back to the Voice, the static figure gave him a smug smile. A-ya got it then, eyes narrowed. "That's hardly fair," he said.

" _As A-ya of Group 3 and Kuroha of Group 5, I cannot accept you!_ "

" _That's bullshit,_ " the demon spat, and the game master began clicking their tongue in discontentment.

" _How about this, you two? Even though I cannot activate the items module for you, I can still grant you information. Would you like that?_ "

" **What kind of information?** " they asked flatly.

" _Well… A-ya, seeing as you've been possessed by the Clearing Eyes Snake, you have consequently earned Kuroha's ability. Do you know what that is?_ "

" _What worth is the deactivation of the other snakes' powers, here?_ " asked the demon with all distaste. " _There is only the vessel, who cannot even heal… and then Recorder, but he poses no threat._ "

" _On the contrary,_ " smiled the Voice, " _in the context of the game, your eyes can do something new, you two… Instead of the mere deactivation of the snakes belonging to your Medusa… let's say you can deactivate the effects of certain special items._ "

"Special items?" asked A-ya. "Do you mean… from the pillars, or…?"

" _From elsewhere,_ " smiled the silhouette. " _Call it an underground business._ "

A-ya's eyes widened. **The items of the master which resides in your memory, I presume?** Kuroha's intrigued pleasure bled into A-ya's thoughts.

"How many people have such items?" asked A-ya seriously.

" _Five people have found such items. Four have accepted them._ "

"I see…"

With this information in mind, he now stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching indifferently as Twelve tied A-ya's now-red cape about his shoulders and struck a pose.

"A hero?" said Suzuya blankly.

"No. A _super_ terrorist!" Putting his hands on his hips, Twelve laughed.

"I wonder why it became red," remarked Izaya, sitting cross-legged on the grass at the edge of the woods.

"It used to be," A-ya admitted, closing his eyes. _I'm so tired…_

 **You** _ **are**_ **permitted to sleep, Loner. I'm not going to slaughter your group.**

 _Right, okay._ He didn't sound convinced.

 **I have no reason to… yet.**

 _Ah, I see. But would it make a difference? My body won't rest._

 **True,** the serpent conceded.

"When I first activated the dark-clad hero item," A-ya explained, "my cape was red."

"Ah, and the original Kuroha, too…," mused Izaya. "The android went all black and grey, didn't he? Save for his yellow eyes, of course."

"Then why'd it go back to red?" asked Suzuya.

"Something symbolic, I'm sure," said Izaya. "Obviously A-ya-kun is still possessed. Perhaps it's because it was draped over Twelve? Curious."

"Existence alone… right?" asked Suzuya, peering at Twelve. "Monochrome is existence alone. Didn't you say that?"

Twelve nodded, not saying anything. He took the cape from his shoulders, expression sober.

"Still weird," said Suzuya. "Existing and living… I don't get it, still."

"You will, sometime," Twelve said, eyes far-off. "I'm sure you will. It doesn't have to be today."

"Hm…"

"If you want your cape back, you can," the terrorist added, holding out the cape to A-ya.

The dark-clad boy blinked, then shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. It's just a cape. Just a dream."

"You say that like dreams are trivial," Twelve smiled thinly. "Did you achieve that dream, A-ya?"

A-ya thought about it. He got to be the invincible, dark-clad hero… It was only for fifteen minutes or so before he was defeated, only to be possessed by Kuroha. And then what? He'd become the hero in his own right, hadn't he? Because sometimes the good can only come from being the bad guy, right? A handsome genius – surely he'd reached that title in some way or another… even if it was partially due to Kuroha's insights. He'd earned the admiration of Yukiteru, hadn't he? And how exalted he had been to earn the praise of Yukiteru! How wonderful it had felt! How fantastic!

…Well. And what about a king?

The image of Roy Mustang's damaged body in the dark came to mind… Calling Rika 'Princess' even though he knew it wasn't him speaking. Was he the King of chess yet? Was he really so important? Or was he a knight? A rook? Even a pawn?

"…I guess I did," he said eventually.

Twelve smiled at him. "That's good. Was it what you wanted?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, and Twelve spread his arms.

"Why, what kind of attitude is that? Seems you need to come up with a new dream, huh? That's the only way to go!"

"I guess so," A-ya agreed half-heartedly.

Twelve mouth thinned into a slyer, colder smile, his eyes narrowing. "Then, A-ya… I have a question…" He rocked back on the balls of his feet, leaning forward. "When you saved me from my predicament, you were saying something. I'm curious now… Who is C-ta?"

A-ya's eyes darkened.

Izaya blinked, then leaned into the scene from his spot on the ground, eyes glimmering. How interesting this would be!

Confused, Suzuya looked from Izaya back to Twelve and A-ya. He began to pick at his lower lip.

"C-ta has been with me since childhood," A-ya informed him, devoid of inflection.

Twelve cocked his head to the side. "What happened to him?"

"He…" A-ya's eyes wandered away from Twelve. "He…" He felt ill. "…He was ki…" He paused. "He died," he said.

"I'm very sorry," Twelve said, nodding. "I'm sure there's quite the story involving that. I won't ask; don't worry. I'm just trying to piece something together, you see… I can't figure out why you saved me. Seeing as none of us are supposed to care about one another… And knowing that one of your goals is to thin out the players… In fact, I've defied you once already! For these three facts alone, I _think_ the most logical answer for you would have been to let me die, or kill me then and there. I like to think that maybe everyone here is just a little bit disillusioned about how much we actually care, you know? I really shouldn't have made it this far… for lots of reasons."

Twelve paused, and A-ya gazed at him, listening intently.

"I do like you, A-ya. I like A-ya, sure… To have such a loveless name… to hide such leaden loneliness – you're shut out from the world, too. I can promise you, at least, that you are not helpless."

A-ya's eyes widened.

"You've made it as far as you have, haven't you?" Twelve smiled slightly. "Find what it is you want to leave behind. Figure out how you want people to remember you. You're allowed to have a dream, or a wish, or whatever you want to call it. Strive for it with all your might. Savor the fun bits in between, because those are the best parts."

A-ya just stared at him, even as Twelve closed his eyes, smile fading.

"Be very careful in what you strive for. I mean, if it's a real dream, there are gonna be people who try to stop you… It's pretty sad, actually, A-ya…"

The dark-clad boy's expression became a silent, monotonous question.

"I told you, didn't I? I don't understand why you saved me… When I was trying to save the people that you were trying to kill. Talking to you hour by hour, your voice gets smokier and smokier. Even right now, every word you say doesn't flicker with the scarlet its always been. It's becoming enmeshed with the colors of that snake you harbor. Surely you understand, A-ya…" Twelve's eyes narrowed at him again. "The way things are going, if things had gotten too bad, I had planned on killing you." He grinned at A-ya's expression. "Not because I want to, of course! And hey!" He shrugged, spreading his arms wide. "I've lost all my grenades now, so for now there's nothing I can do~" And he laughed.

As Twelve walked back over to Suzuya, A-ya looked at his hands. After some time spent in contemplation, he lowered them to his sides. He didn't speak. There was nothing to say.

* * *

The odd conglomerate of the nine players in the city took to the hotel café after everyone took time for a nap, whether they actually slept or not. No one was really quite hungry (other than Konoha, of course), but it seemed like now was a good time to try to relax while they still could. Perhaps it would give Akira a chance to gather her feelings and place them where they needed to be. Perhaps she'd be able to reach a conclusion in the cinnamon latte that was her choice of beverage. She'd almost gone for something simpler, but when Hide had nudged her and urged her to go for something more interesting, she could only look at him with such wistful, apologetic eyes before she got the latte instead. Roppi was approving of her choice, raising his cup of iced caramel latte (sweetened thrice) in cheers. They tapped cups without expression.

Kaneki and Shirou made their way behind the counter, Kaneki making all the drinks while Shirou scavenged the back to find the necessary items to make fresh goods to eat. Somehow, all the bustle made things a little bit better. A little bit. Konoha was enthralled by the variety of goods Shirou had the ability to make, and upon Shirou's inquiry of, "So which would you like?" Konoha answered, "Yes."

Rin, looking annoyed as ever with her chin resting on her palm, watched Shirou work with Kaneki to serve the seven on the other side of the counter. She hoped he wouldn't forget to get something for himself, too… which undoubtedly he'd do anyway. She sat upon a stool, her legs crossed. She was at one of those little round tables at cafés – you know, the tall ones. Grudgingly, she sipped from a milkshake that Kaneki had made her with much care. Hide sat across from her, nagging her to be more lively. Shinichi, sitting on a cushioned seat against the wall beside Hide, pointed out that perhaps it was her last chance to do so. Then it was Shinichi's turn to be harassed by Hide's positivity, only for the partial parasite to then be the subject of Rin's teasing. He could only sigh.

Akira sat on the end of a couch in the far corner. No one disturbed her. Shintaro sat on the opposite end of a different couch, his head bowed. He was as isolated as Akira was.

"Shintaro-kun," called Kaneki from behind the counter, and the hikkiNEET looked up, confused. He looked as though he'd been snapped from some deep thinking.

"…Ah?"

"What was it you preferred?" Kaneki, smiling gently, held up a bottle he'd found in the fridge. Shintaro's eyes widened at the red label. "Coca-Cola?"

"Oh, may the gods smile upon you!" he cried, scrabbling to his feet and gratefully accepting the blessed soda from the half-ghoul. Kaneki cocked his head slightly, eyes warm. Shintaro sure loved soda.

He returned to his spot on the couch, soda in hand. He gulped down the gracious liquid, eternally pleased. _Praise be to soda._

"You're disgusting, you know that?" asked Roppi dully, and Shintaro choked. The bitter one hid his snicker behind his sleeve, sitting neatly beside the NEET and crossing his legs, one over the other. "Are you dying?"

"Yes," he choked out, and Roppi patted him on the back, looking unconcerned. "We all are…"

Roppi's red eyes flickered in distaste. "Yeah, sure we are." He shrugged. "Some faster than others. If you keep going like that, you'll be dead sooner."

" _Eh?_ " Shintaro looked at him desperately. "Is that a threat? That's totally a threat."

Roppi laughed a bit behind his sleeve. "Or a promise, if you _want_ to die."

"Um… that's really dark."

"You started it," Roppi shrugged.

"I guess I did," Shintaro sighed. There was a pleasant quiet between them for some time, if one that was touched with the dark undertones of what was to come. "So, uh… You met Seidou again, huh…?" He swallowed. Maybe he shouldn't have brought that up so quick.

"We did," Roppi said, monotone. His eyes were dead, sleeve still to his mouth. "He was… in the middle of something when we found him."

"…I see…"

"We had a coherent conversation, I guess." Roppi shrugged. "It wasn't really a pleasant one, but it's not like you can't even talk to him."

"Huh…"

"Yeah. That doesn't mean he's rational by any stretch of the imagination, though… of course."

"O-oh, yeah… Of course…"

"I _do_ feel… guilty," Roppi confessed.

Shintaro looked at him, but his eyes were of stone. "I think we all do," he said quietly.

His cherry orbs closed. "I know," he said.

"Do you believe in this idea…?" asked Shintaro, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "Like… this is a big deal, you know…"

"Do your weird eyes tell you anything about it?"

"Um—no…"

"Then we'll just have to hope so," Roppi said firmly.

Shintaro didn't answer at first. A wave of admiration swept over him. For Roppi to sound so sure… His eyes were filled with conviction – he didn't seem to be faking, either. He stared at the ground, eyes distant. Roppi sure had come a long way, hadn't he? As stubborn as he was, he'd never been so confident in himself…

… _Can_ I _be confident right now?_ Shintaro wasn't so sure. "Roppi, how are we even going to get close enough to stab him with that thing?" His voice was quiet.

"I'll be the one to do it," Roppi said matter-of-factly.

Shintaro straightened up in alarm. "But—"

"This wouldn't have happened to Seidou if I hadn't run off when I did. I want to fix this."

"Well, that's fine—but you know that it's not—"

"—my fault? Sure, you could tell me that. It's an arguable point, I guess." His eyes darkened. "But so is the point that it _is_ my fault, so either way…"

"You could _die_ , Roppi," Shintaro whispered to him in horror. "You're still just a human, you know… And I… I don't _want_ you to die…"

The smile that touched Roppi's lips was safely concealed behind his sleeve. "It's okay, Shintaro. I want to do it."

"But you…"

"This isn't about me; it's about Seidou."

Shintaro didn't have an answer.

"Besides…" Roppi turned to Shintaro, eyes expressing sorrowful appreciation. He lowered his sleeve to reveal a pained, lopsided smile. "If I do survive, Shintaro, then I'll have earned the right to live. Isn't that what you said…? If I can save one person, then maybe I…" Roppi trailed off, then looked away. "…I need to do this as much as Seidou needs me to do this. Okay? And if I don't survive… that's okay, too. Not because I want to die… It's not like that anymore. I just… at least I'd die for something good, right?"

Shintaro was about to protest, but he noticed that Roppi's hands were trembling, his dark hair shrouding his eyes.

"And for once…" Roppi murmured, "…I don't… think I want to die…"

The red-jerseyed boy turned his head to face forward again, his shoulders sagging. He didn't know how to tell him that it was okay. He didn't know how to tell him that he understood. Awkwardly, he tried patting him on the arm only for Roppi to grasp tightly to his hand with his own.

At first Shintaro thought Roppi was angry with him, but his countenance did not change, and Roppi did not release his hand. Unsure what else to do, he squeezed back.

"…I'm—sorry…"

"Don't be," Shintaro whispered back. He felt the quivering of Roppi even through how tightly he'd gripped onto the red-jerseyed one. Shintaro sighed lightly. He could _feel_ the swelling emotions in his friend. He had to be careful, or he might start crying…

 _Oh, no…_ Shintaro brought his free arm to his eyes to stop the burning. No way. Definitely not the time to break down. Nope. Lowering his arm, he tilted his face to the ceiling.

He listened to the sound of an oven _ding_ ing in signal to its finish of the product. Shirou was calling out that it was all almost ready, it just needed to cool… " _Konoha_ , you shouldn't—!" Shintaro could help but smile a little bit at Shirou's protest of alarm. He heard the redhead then say, "…Isn't that hot?"

Konoha's response was, "What's hot?"

Shintaro felt his hand get released. Roppi was back, his arms crossed over his chest like nothing had happened. "I swear to god, Konoha…," he sighed, and Shintaro gave him a half-smile even if he wasn't looking.

As Shirou and Kaneki began handing out all the goodies on plates, Akira got to her feet. Everyone paused, looking at her. She hesitated, then stood tall. "After we're finished with our meal, I'd like to discuss the plan – who is participating and who isn't. I will be a participant in saving Seidou Takizawa. For now, let's enjoy ourselves." She accepted a croissant from Kaneki before adding, "Shall we?" She then proceeded to inform them that sandwiches would also be a wonderful idea, because she'd like everyone to be fed before they set out. She even stated that she wanted to implement this as soon as was possible – at the earliest, tonight.

 _It's really happening,_ thought Shintaro. He looked at Roppi. Strangely, his friend looked content.


	33. Return

As Yukiteru's group reached the upside-down 'Y' in the dirt road, they paused. "That road," said Akise contemplatively, "leads to where we came from."

"Maybe Yato can use…?" Yukki began, but didn't finish.

"The road ahead leads to the city, it looks like," said Minene.

"I think we should head into the city, that is so~" said Rika.

Akise looked at her, interest flickering in his pink-red eyes. "Oh? Why's that, Rika-chan?"

"I feel that it is the best way to go. Even though I'm not accustomed to the city myself, I think we may find groups there that could become a part of our alliance."

Akise considered this, and she could almost envision his thought processes swaying. "Ah… Perhaps after we do a little detour."

"Detour?" repeated Yato dully, scratching at his head.

"Yeah, what sorta detour?" asked Minene sourly.

"Neither road," said Akise. "Just, left."

"Left?" repeated Yukiteru. "Why left? To…?" He thought about it. "The only thing I can think of… Um, it's _kinda_ the direction of where my group started…? I think?"

"That is so," agreed Rika. "Mine too."

"Huh." He blinked. Right, the female members had the same game area, didn't they…?

Without another word, Akise began walking that way, hands in his pockets.

"So, hey, wait!" Minene wasn't too thrilled, though everyone began following him anyway, if in a delayed fashion. "No explanation?"

Celty shrugged in answer. [I'm sure he has some reason.]

"Yeah, yeah…," Minene grumbled. "Detective boy being all mysterious and shit…"

"Is there any reason?" asked Yato, strangely flat.

"Sure there is," Akise answered calmly.

"Granted, I am getting more and more pissed with this game in general," admitted Minene bitterly. "What's the reason for all this bullshit, huh?"

"Maybe that doesn't have a reason," Yukiteru said quietly, sounding almost fearful. Akise turned his gaze to look at him out of the corner of his eye. "But… that's all the more reason for _us_ to have a reason to keep going, right?"

"Is it?" Yato asked skeptically, rubbing at his head.

[Something like, fighting for the memory of the fallen, perhaps?] inquired Celty.

"Yeah!" Yukiteru agreed whole-heartedly. "I mean, sure, a lot of people haven't made it… But, like… I can still fight in their honor, can't I? For someone like—like Roy, or L… or even C-ta… Keiichi…"

Rika pricked her ears, but otherwise didn't react. She knew that Keiichi was long dead if he wasn't with them now. She ignored Hanyuu's soft whimper of grief. There was nothing to be done.

"That's bull," Minene said lowly, and all but Akise turned to look at her in question. The silver-haired boy merely glanced backwards out of the corner of his eye. "'Fighting in their honor,' huh? Or making promises to the dead… Doing things for their sake… It's worthless. The present is made for the living, and to do things for the sake of people who aren't a part of today… It's a waste. You just gotta keep going forward."

"But to just disregard them…?" Yukiteru disagreed. Rika's eyes had grown cold and distant.

"Careful, Minene-san," said Akise easily. "There are a lot of differing opinions around you."

"So?" She scoffed. "Everybody has to live with their own misfortunes. That's the way the world works."

Yato was dark and silent.

"Perhaps I meant something more along the lines of a background we may not understand, as mortals," said Akise.

[Maybe we should stop speaking of this for now.] suggested Celty, but Yato held up a hand.

"No, Minene is right," the god said. He'd been doing a lot of serious talk lately. "The people of the Near Shore and the people of the Far Shore aren't meant to interact. The living should carry on without the dead, just as the dead must carry on without the living. There's a reason that lost spirits never remember anything about their life… not even their name." Yato's visage was one of solemnity. "It may sound rather harsh, Minene… but you're absolutely right. On that token… I'm someone who walks the path between the Near and Far Shores. Where does that put me then? Hell if I know."

Hanyuu, at Rika's side, was uncomfortably playing with her fingers. Indeed, where would that put her? After all, she'd once been nothing more than a spirit, herself.

"Still…" Yukiteru clenched and unclenched his fists. "It just doesn't… seem right…"

Yato cocked his head at him, contemplating before he said with more warmth, "It's not the idea that the dead are gone forever, it's just coming to understand that the dead no longer walk the same path as you! The two worlds aren't meant to intertwine – that's all, Yukki."

"What a lonely thing… Isn't it?"

"It doesn't have to be," said Akise with a slight shrug.

"Mm…" Yukki didn't think he quite believed it couldn't be a lonely logic. Maybe he just couldn't wrap his head around the idea of both the living and dead just moving on without each other. _Ugh, putting it that way, it doesn't sound so good… But…_ "I guess that means I'll just have to save everyone," he said firmly.

Yato stared at him blankly.

"Well, don't wait," Akise smiled crookedly. "I believe you can make it happen… Show me a miracle, Yukiteru-kun."

"Ah…"

"You can't save _everyone,_ " Minene frowned.

"But you can try," said Rika quietly. "Is that wrong?"

Minene was irritably quiet. Akise was smiling to himself, content. Yato didn't know what to think, only that he didn't wish to ponder what happens when spirits die.

As twilight came upon them, they passed through the shopping district. Just beyond it was the open expanse of park land, and upon their exit of that district, they could make out the outline of the thin trees ahead. Yukiteru thought that maybe he could make out the fountain his group had first shown up at. For a moment he was excited with the familiarity, but then the same nostalgia jabbed him through the chest. Keiichi's and C-ta's bodies were both in that woods.

 _I wonder how A-ya's doing right now._

It was around now that Rika approached him and tugged at his black robe. "Mm?" Yukiteru turned to her, blinking down at her tiny self. Granted, her height just about reached his chin, but for a ten-year-old, that was still rather petite. He thought so, anyway.

"I'd like to speak with you, that is so~" Rika smiled at him. "Would that be fine?"

"Uh… I guess so…" Yukiteru scratched at the back of his head. "Alone, or…?"

"Yes, please," she chirped.

Shrugging, he accepted her small hand. He figured they could diverge from the path of the others and meet back up. Not too far, of course. God knows he didn't want to be too far from the others. "Rika and I are gonna split off for a little bit," he said to them.

[I don't know if that's such a good idea…] Celty shifted pace in discomfort, and Kincho grunted at her as she walked backwards, typing to Yukiteru. [What for?]

"Rika probably wants to ask him something," Minene said uncaringly. "It'll be fine. She just wants to be alone with him for a sec. You know – get some privacy."

"That… should be fine." Akise stopped walking, and the others followed his example, forming a circle of discussion. He touched his chin, thinking.

[Can't this wait until we've already reached our next checkpoint?] Celty asked nervously.

"Well, I don't see why we should…," said the silver-haired one.

"I figured we could just, you know, walk parallel or something," said Yukiteru. "We can meet up at the house near the fountain ahead. My group used that as a safe spot for the first two days."

"That sounds fine," Akise nodded. "Don't take too long, though." He smiled. "And don't go too far, Yukiteru-kun… Rika-chan. I don't want anything happening to either of you."

" _We'll_ be fine, though," Minene smirked. "We've got Celty on our side." The Dullahan grew comically sheepish at the compliment.

"And Yato, that is so," Rika chirped.

"Doesn't he need… a weapon?" Minene asked cynically.

"Gods are strong without their weapons," Yato sniffed, crossing his arms. "It's not like I'm useless."

"You're also injured."

"I could rip the ground apart if I wanted to!"

"So could I!" she snapped. "Ever heard of a _bomb?_ "

"No need to react so _explosively_ ," he scoffed, and she ground her teeth.

Yukiteru laughed, good-natured. "Yato-san, please don't harass Minene-san too much."

"Why would I do that?~"

"I hate you," she informed the god flatly.

"Rude!" Yato cried. "Isn't that a bit blunt?"

"I'll see you soon," Akise said warmly, gently touching Yukiteru's shoulder.

"Nii~" Rika beamed. "See you, everyone!" She gave a nod to Minene before taking Yukiteru along with her to the right. The others kept walking. Soon enough, they were all going in the same direction again.

Watching Akise, Minene, Celty, and Yato walk along far to their left, Yukiteru asked her, "Now, what's this about? Really." He was running through all the possibilities in his head, and the most likely one seemed to be some kind of inquiry about A-ya. Apparently Rika had watched A-ya kill Roy… _Well, the demon. The demon killed Roy-san, not A-ya. Still…_

"It's about Akise."

Yukiteru blinked, thrown off-guard. Akise? "What about him?" He was utterly lost… and what a serious tone she was using! For a ten-year-old… it was just a little bit unsettling. "I know he seems a little bit shady, but he's actually very nice…"

"Are you aware of the mysteries surrounding his arrival?" she asked him.

"Um… no?" Even though he peered at her in question, she did not look back up to him. He felt somehow intimidated, and so reminded himself that someone didn't need to be innocent or naïve if they were young. How old was that kid who tried to kill him, at that time? Five years of age? He really hoped Rika wasn't like _that_.

"It's apparently so that Akise appeared to Izaya, Twelve, and Suzuya when they were approaching the items pillar in the other household to the south. He had papers of information on every player, and also had his blue investigator's notebook on hand, which has more info than yet we know. He isn't of any known group; he has no number. The items pillar does not work for him; he has no weapon. Yukiteru, what do you think of these things?"

Yukiteru blinked a few times, then took pause as he pondered. He began to laugh.

"What is it that's funny?" she inquired, still using that new, unsettling voice.

"See, it wouldn't make sense any other way," Yukiteru told her honestly. "Akise's a suspicious guy, but he's really just doing his best to take care of everyone else… I know it. It's funny, because he wasn't a part of the battle royal that I got caught up in back home… and yet, he somehow got himself involved. He convinced us that he was a part of the game himself… convinced us he could tell the _future_ when really, he was just bluffing!" He released a bark of laughter. "Actually, he's really cool. He believes in me, too… I'm thankful for that, because I know I can't always do it for myself." Yukiteru looked off to the woods, brow furrowed. "And because of that… I don't want to doubt him. I don't think I have the capacity to doubt him. I want to believe in him, too." He looked happily to Rika, who was staring up at him in rapt attention. "You should too, Rika-chan."

"If I remember correctly…" Rika said slowly, "…you did not remember Akise until that 'timekeeper,' a game master, granted you those memories. Isn't that correct?"

"I mean, I guess so…" Yukiteru faltered momentarily, then argued, "But Minene-san knew him beforehand, too! So it's not like that timekeeper guy just made him up…"

"I have one other thing that I find to be of importance to tell you."

"Eh?" Yukiteru looked at her with some worry.

"Yukiteru, there are parallels to this game in more than the sense of the female counterpart. This isn't the first time this game has occurred…"

"It isn't, then?" Yukiteru asked blankly. "I mean, I knew that you could reset it, but…"

"So you knew that much…?" She appeared to think hard on this.

"Yeah, I knew it was possible to restart the game," Yukki admitted, "and actually, I had the option to, once… I just, um… didn't know whether it would make a difference. So I didn't do it. Do you… know whether…?"

"There are slight variations to every game, but no outcome thus far has been desirable," Rika informed him.

"Oh…"

"What I'd like to tell you," she continued, "is that your friend Akise has not been in a single other route besides this one."

"Really?" He rubbed at the back of his head. "How weird. I wonder why…" He paused. "But that means that surely we're on the right track!" He looked to the ten-year-old in utmost hope. "Because if it's never worked before… When you throw Akise in, then I know that we can figure this out, together!"

"I hope that is the case…" Rika was solemn. "I've already discussed this with Minene… From what I gather, he is the type of boy who can break fate… And he appears to believe the same of you, Yukiteru. That is a very precious ability. I know that Akise is someone that shouldn't be here. He is a piece that does not fit in the puzzle… Whether that works for us or against us remains to be seen, but I do hope that it is the former rather than the latter… That is so."

"It'll turn out alright in the end," Yukki assured her. "I'm sure of it."

Her old eyes looked at him, fatigued. "I want to believe you." Her tone was one of sincerity.

A not-so-distant crash caught their attention, and they both turned to view the source: a flash of red lightning caught their eyes just beyond a patch of trees to the north.

"That's…" Yukiteru's eyes widened. "It's got to be…"

"Yukiteru, we should return to the others," Rika said firmly, but Yukiteru had already started walking in the direction of the flash. "Yukiteru," she repeated, and he stopped, turning to her.

"Akise said it, too – that I shouldn't wait."

"We should bring the others with us, then."

"It's _A-ya,_ " Yukki insisted. "I'd know him better than they would, anyway… And I want to show him that it's okay, okay? What if he's in trouble? It's you who should return to the others…. We're still really close to them – will you be fine meeting up with them over there? Or should I take you back, first?"

"That's not—I'd be fine," she said, "but you—"

"After all," he said, "I didn't stop him from running off in the first place." He flashed her a grin. "If I'm gonna save everyone, I have to actually start doing it, you know! If I don't, somebody else could die, right?"

"But Yukiteru—"

"Have a little confidence!" He turned and began to run towards where surely he'd find A-ya.

" _Yukiteru!_ " she snapped. Her urgency struck him, but he kept going. "If you go to meet him now, you'll…!" She shook her head, mustering up all her inner willpower. "If you go, you're not going to make it!"

The dark-cloaked boy only laughed at her. "It's not like I haven't broken fate before!" he called, and began to hover, then fly towards his destination.

Staring after him incredulously, Rika could only be silent in her own form of helplessness. _I am sick and tired of this repeating cycle,_ she thought, and began to run after him as fast as her little legs would carry her.

* * *

They had moved again. A-ya's group had begun moving again in eerie silence up until the point where they came across the collection of large rocks that they had slept amongst back when their groups had been a conglomerate. Back when Roy was alive, and A-ya and Yukiteru had been together.

Here A-ya stopped, sitting on one of the rocks without a word. The others looked at one another and did not question the decision. Perhaps this was another short break, or perhaps this was the resting place for the night. None of them knew, but they supposed they'd find out.

It was A-ya who was left out from conversation this time as Twelve, Suzuya, and Izaya all partook in some odd conversation about food. Twelve began by remarking upon the beauty of its simple pleasures. Suzuya found himself actually understanding where Twelve was coming from in saying that once upon a time, food was just necessity. The fact that it was something beyond that now was beautiful alone. Suzuya had to add on by saying that sweets were wonderful, whereon Izaya piped in that he liked bitter better. At Suzuya's blank stare, Izaya went into an excitable state as he happily explained that one could analyze a person just by the kind of foods they liked. How very exciting!

A-ya sat alone on his rock, not really paying the three on the ground any mind. His consciousness was static, hazing in and out. For a moment he saw things in vivid color, details engraving themselves in his head. The recurring theme was _red._ But upon a return to clarity, he sensed only the thick black. Distantly, he wondered whether he would ever really sleep again. Less distantly, he contemplated the reality that Twelve had admitted to his plan as if it were nothing. Just your friendly neighborhood terrorist, causing a casual conspiracy here…!

But why should A-ya be surprised? When A-ya could see Twelve for the admirable person that he surely was, why _wouldn't_ Twelve be planning A-ya's demise? With these dirty hands, there was no wonder… Perhaps it was A-ya who was naïve. Perhaps…?

 **Of course you're being foolish,** said the serpent. **You act as though you and them are a part of a group together, when the only road for you from here is one you'll walk alone.**

It was as if the demon thought he didn't know it already.

 **Really. If you know it so well, why are you so put out by Twelve's honest statement of his planned attempt on your life? You chose this path knowing what it was you were giving up.**

A-ya wished he would be quiet… for just—a moment. That's all.

 **I'm only pointing out the truth to you.**

 _I know it._

 **If you know it, why won't you acknowledge it?**

 _Who says I'm not_ **acknowledging it; you're not acknowledging it. It's that shut-down again, isn't it?** _Maybe I don't want to look_ **at the truth of what you're doing? They'll try to kill you.** _They'll try to kill me._ **It's not as though you can trust them.** _It's not as though I…_

… _Stop it. Stop that._

 **What's that?**

 _Stop telling me things I_ know _already._

 **Why, when you—?**

 _It's too boring._

When had he curled forward the way he was now? When had he brought his hands to his face?

 **You're afraid,** said the serpent.

A-ya couldn't help but agree.

 **There's no turning back now, Loner…** Yet even as the serpent expected pleasure for tormenting his master, A-ya's body began to tremble in its fetal position.

 _Are you—joking…?_

… The snake didn't know what to make of it. A-ya was holding back laughter.

 _Why would I turn back now but to begin anew? This fear is even more potent than it's been since the beginning of this damned game…! Amazing! How couldn't I long for this richness? This terrifying pleasantry…? It's the best thing I could ever feel!_

There was a hand at his shoulder. Immediately, A-ya jerked away from the touch and whipped his head to look at the culprit. Izaya was smiling, overly sweet in what was surely mock apology. "I didn't mean to startle you, A-ya-kun," he said, and A-ya's eyes flickered darkly.

" **Don't touch me,** " he said. Well, they.

Izaya held his hands up in the air in a show of peace, grinning wide with eyes mere slits, almost closed. "My, my, terribly sorry~ I see that you're in a bit of a state. Should I perhaps wait until later to snap you out of it? Or would you mind a few unpleasantries? I'd love to chat with you, A-ya-kun!"

"Chat with me…," A-ya repeated, then smiled disconcertingly. Izaya ignored the chill down his back. " **What a great idea,** Izaya-san. **Let's talk for a bit.** "

"Ah, wonderful!" The informant clapped his hands together. "No need to be so irritable about it. Although, I would like to warn you, A-ya-kun… Twelve did have a bit of a point." He shrugged. "Maybe it's inevitable, but I wouldn't like for A-ya-kun to be consumed by Kuroha… But for that to happen, I guess that just means A-ya's lost that battle, wouldn't you say? If it's a battle at all, which it seems to be… Curious." His smile was thin as ever. "But A-ya-kun, in inviting a monster into yourself… Be wary, or else you may become a monster, too."

A-ya's eyes were alight with amusement. Before Izaya could put together how the boy had reacted, his cold hand was at the informant's throat. The younger pulled Izaya down closer to his height, making him stagger. Instinctively, Izaya had pulled his knife, pointing it at the black sweater vest that the other sported. A-ya smiled at him. Izaya frowned back, one hand to the wrist of A-ya. It wasn't as though the dark-clad demon was strangling him, just gripping him in a position that _could_ leave him without an esophagus.

From behind their rock, Suzuya and Twelve poked their heads up, eyes peering over it to see what was happening.

" **You speak of monsters,** " they said lowly. " **You fit that very mold yourself, don't you? Everyone here – monsters, right?** " A-ya's hand tightened at Izaya's jaw, and the informant's eyes narrowed. He looked bothered enough to want to break free of his grip, but he was also smart enough not to try under the knowledge that it may get him killed. " **Isn't it** _ **wonderful?**_ " A-ya grinned. " **To be a monster?** "

"Is it?" whispered Suzuya to Twelve.

"Shh," Twelve hushed him.

A-ya released Izaya, and the information broker immediately straightened, looking annoyed as he rubbed at his throat. " **You speak as though monsters are such terrible things.** "

"Your words have merit, A-ya-kun," Izaya conceded, tone taut. "But I see you're acting a little bit impulsive, aren't we?"

" **I wouldn't be too sure.** "

"A-ya-kun," Izaya began, but it was A-ya alone who cut him off.

"Don't," he said. They stared at one another for some time. Izaya watched those serpentine eyes, flickering with something feverish. He tried to see whether he could make out A-ya somewhere in those scarlet orbs, but wasn't so sure _what_ he saw there. Izaya almost began to smile, but A-ya beat him to it, cocking his head and beginning to titter at him. Instead, the informant found himself frowning once again. Casually, he flicked his blade back into its hilt before putting it back in his pocket where it belonged. He was quiet, raising his eyebrows in question to the apparently amused one before him.

"It's the only way it can be, isn't it, Izaya…?" That odd shine, yes, that _could_ be A-ya glimmering with the light of hysteria. "I decided, anyway – my dream is to start this over again! It's not like you _don't_ have a reason to do it… I know that you can say something like—like calling me a monster, but really, what's the difference? When who lives or dies in this game doesn't _really_ matter?"

"If it didn't matter," pointed out Izaya, "then why did you spare Twelve?"

"Because I'm still human somewhere," A-ya answered coldly. "And I don't want to hear it from you…" He gave another laugh bordering on mania. "Besides, it's not like we don't know that you've got your own motives, too, right, Izaya?"

"A-ya-kun," Izaya insisted, "personal motives or not, do you really think—?"

"SHUT UP!" At the outburst, crimson lightning crackled through the clearing, charring the ground at Izaya's feet. The informant was stone-faced, unfazed.

"Whoops," whispered Suzuya. Twelve pressed his hand to the rock in front of him, using his arm as leverage as he jumped over it and approached. "Huh? Twe…?"

"Calm down, A-ya-kun…" Izaya widened his stance, cautiously bringing a hand to the hilt of the Prophet. "There's no reason to act so rashly, now…"

" **Why? Because you don't want to die?** " they inquired sneeringly, and A-ya scoffed. "What's the point of cherishing such a thing? Fearing such a thing? And how _stupid_ we are, to still be sad over something like losing someone else…!"

He stopped. Twelve came upon him with a sudden embrace of amnesty. A-ya could do nothing but freeze in place.

Still guarded, Izaya cautiously released the hilt of the Prophet, tilting his head and smiling crookedly. "Hah…"

"Hey, A-ya," said Twelve to the smaller one in his arms. He paid no mind to the confused Suzuya, now crouching on the rock they'd been beside. "Every little thing I've said; it's true. That means that yes, I'd planned to end you if it really came down to it… But do I think I'd actually be able to do it? Honestly not. I think I'd just stick around 'til the end. It's not like I'm actually needed by anyone in this world. What better way to spend my time with my favorite jerk, Izaya," – Izaya cocked an eyebrow, humored – "…or my partner-of-circumstance, Suzuya? Or the possessed kid that saved my life?" Twelve laughed at the words coming out of his own mouth. "Yeah, you could even kill me right now, as I hug you. But that wouldn't make a difference to me, either. I'm aware of my mortality… trust me. We make this so complicated, but only because it's more interesting that way. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd love to just exist together. We don't _need_ conflict unless we make it, right? A-ya, no matter what happens, there is one thing that is, was, and always will be… This thing will last you and I and everyone else through even the darkest of winters. This thing is called 'hope.' Because even if 'love' is dead, hope can never die. It's a cycle of rebirth; you cannot get rid of hope. I promise you that."

A-ya found himself trembling again. Ah, the recurring theme of his helplessness. Oh, A-ya, you're so helpless, he'd say… Though Twelve wasn't like C-ta in that way. What was A-ya to make of that? And why should it matter now, anyway?

He smelled summertime. "Get off," he said flatly. Softly. Twelve let go of him with a chuckle, and Suzuya began to snicker.

"A-ya is too spooky for Izaya, hehe," said the CCG officer.

"Oh, hardly," said Izaya.

Suzuya proceeded to wiggle his fingers at the Eskimo-like man. "He's gonna eat up your eyeballs and swallow up your memories – gonna tear you up and put you back together, yeah, gonna take your _soul._ "

"Ah…" Izaya was deadpan. "Stop."

"I don't think it quite works like that," A-ya added, rubbing at the back of his head with dull expression.

"Yeah, yeah, it's not so leisurely as that!" laughed Twelve. "It's more like just, suddenly – _boom!_ The end!"

"The end!" Suzuya agreed happily.

"How dark you're being, heh…?" Izaya sighed.

"We're in a little bit of a dark situation, though, heh?" A-ya answered him.

The informant looked at him – although the visage of him was still without expression, he saw the glitter of A-ya's dark humor in his red eyes. Izaya couldn't help but crack a cruel grin, laughing in that harsh way of his. " _There_ you are! There you are!"

"There, there!" Suzuya piped in.

"Don't underestimate humans," said Twelve with a sly smile, "just because demons are more interesting at first glance."

"Right?" grinned the albino, and Izaya and A-ya looked at one another. They were practically glowing.

"That…" Izaya's mouth spread into that terrible grin he once wore hourly. "That's absolutely right! How could I forget?!" Indeed, he'd been so caught up in all of the wonders and horrors of ghouls and demons and gods and parasites and monsters in general that he'd nearly forgotten the joys of humanity itself!

Just as A-ya and Izaya had both reached the point of utmost obsessive delight (although A-ya enacted this in a much more contained and expressionless way), Suzuya turned to quickly look to the woods, his eyes just slightly wider than they were usually. They all paused. A-ya, too, looked to the woods. The crackling of an occasional twig, a quick and successive sound that sounded as though someone was hurrying their way here. It took less than a second for Suzuya to have his scythe at the ready, A-ya and Izaya ready to fight, Izaya with his hand to the hilt of the Prophet.

Above the trees, the black-cloaked figure of Yukiteru arose. A-ya saw him first and recognized him immediately. Seemed like Yukki had decided it was easier to go above the trees than through them, peering around to try and find presumably A-ya himself.

"Lay down your scythe," A-ya told Suzuya flatly, and the albino lowered it slightly, looking disappointed.

"Hah, it's Yukiteru-kun, is it?" A-ya disregarded the smooth, entertained tone of Izaya.

"I'd like to go meet him alone. That is all I ask," he said, and Twelve saluted him.

"Sounds good!"

"Boring," remarked Suzuya.

"I have to agree with Suzu-chan, this time~"

"Oh, be quiet for once," A-ya said with oddly good nature. A slight smile touched his mouth. "I'm sure you'll have much more fun hearing the news after the fact, Izaya." He looked at Twelve, and paused. "…Thank you," he added with a note of awkwardness, and he sped off through the trees without anything else.

"Ah, A-ya…," sighed Twelve with a smile.

Izaya shrugged. "I suppose he isn't wrong," he conceded.

"Worthless," said Suzuya, thwacking Izaya on the head with the butt of his scythe.

"Eh?"

"Harsh," grinned Twelve.

And so it was.


	34. Meet

**Sorry for the week-late update, dear readers! Having gone on break, I found myself ironically more busy than normal.**

 **But in any case, I hope you enjoy this week's chapter~**

* * *

"Ah, this must have been the starting point for the orange groups," remarked Minene, scuffing the orange circle on the ground with her boot. She, Celty, Akise, and Yato (and Kincho!) were standing before the water fountain now. Once upon a time, A-ya and Yukiteru had watched the stars together here. By now the four slips of paper with everyone's names had run with the rain. Minene eyed one of them, now sunken to the bottom of the fountain water. "Wonder what number that was."

"Group 3, I do believe," remarked Akise thoughtfully, looking at their surroundings. "A nice little haven here. I can understand why Yukiteru's group stuck around as long as they did."

[There are residential houses nearby, too.] added Celty.

Yato gazed at the houses not too far off, and at the park trails leading further into the woods. He'd never much explored this particular area, so it was new to him. A residential area here, huh? The suburbs up north were far closer together, many houses all alike, all up close and snug with one another. Of course he'd demolished his fair share of houses there… And hadn't that been when Kuroha had reawakened? He supposed so. He wondered what Yukiteru would think about the matter if he put together the fact that A-ya had possibly gotten possessed because of him, Yato. How messed up was that? He, a god, had brought on possession? What a joke.

Ah… And what a joke this game was – really. Even if he _were_ to leave this group, the end result would be his own demise. He'd learned it himself that when you try to kill people, it only works one at a time. Very inconvenient and time-consuming… and it had almost gotten him killed. His thoughts almost began to ponder what Yukine or Hiyori might say about those choices, but almost immediately he skirted around such ideas. He didn't want to think about it. Besides… what was the point? It's not like they could find out, anyway…

What a hollow feeling this was.

[Yukiteru and Rika are taking a while…]

"Don't be so nervous," Minene waved off the Dullahan. "Really, they'll be fine. Don't underestimate my girl Rika; she can be pretty badass if she needs to be."

Pocketing his hands, Akise smiled warmly at the terrorist. "I find it wonderful that you've bonded with a child, Minene-san."

"Oh, shut up, detective boy."

"I'm rather curious how that came about," he admitted, "but I won't pry."

"It's not like I'd actually be surprised if something too terrible happened," she scoffed, crossing her arms over chest. "In this game, yeah, it's good to have some alliances going on… but to get too attached is a mistake. This game is designed to take lives… Hell, it's the same thing in real life, too."

"Oh?" Akise seemed unconcerned with her logic.

"Yeah," she scowled. "Life is hell… There's a reason I became a terrorist, Akise."

"I understand that perfectly well," he said calmly.

[Can you really say that life is hell?] inquired the Dullahan.

"Of course I can… Anyone who hasn't experienced suffering is just deluding themselves. There's a reason people say that ignorance is bliss, but goddamn, those are the people that piss me off the most…"

[The world isn't as bad as you think.] A statement made with warm conviction.

 _Liar._ It was the first answer that came to the god.

Minene stared at the words on her screen, her mouth downturned. "I beg to differ," she said coldly. "Take the things you're so fond of and imagine them being stolen from you. What does that make?"

A long pause. [I can't say I know.]

 _A Dullahan, huh?_ thought Yato, detached. _A Shinigami of sorts… a death god. What would you do in such a situation of despair, Celty? Isn't it true that you, too, are still a Dullahan at heart? While I…_

"Regardless of all of the inevitable suffering in this world," Akise shrugged, "I like to think that I enjoy my existence. If it's the past that plagues you… Then just remember that if the past makes your present, then your present makes your future. Seeing as we have every ability to control our present, why can't we change something as fickle and unassured as the future? We can make it whatever we like it to be, if we so wished." He held up his index finger, smiling that sly smile of his. "Even if there are the dark and twisted things we all dread; even if there is sin… Isn't it also true that there are virtues? Aren't there beautiful things to counteract the terrible? For every seed of hatred planted, there is surely someone who has learned the meaning of 'love.' For every liar, there's surely someone who seeks the Truth. Death and life come in the same package, just as does hope and despair, war and peace, good and evil… Really, what the world looks like just depends on perspective, to me."

 _If the present makes the future…? Ah. But what does the future look like anymore?_

Minene scoffed, unmoved. "Then how come some people get the short end of the stick? How come some people are stuck with only sin? How fair is that?"

Akise closed his eyes. "I never said that the world was just."

[I understand exactly what you mean, Akise. Thank you for putting it into words.]

"Ah, no need to thank me."

"Augh, bullshit," Minene huffed, rolling her single eye.

 _Something like sin doesn't matter to me, anyway… I punish sin; I cannot do wrong. So why feel so bad…?_ He rubbed at his forehead, head bowed. _Good and evil means nothing to me. Sins and virtues mean nothing… Hope and despair? War and peace? Life, and death…_

"In any case," said Akise, "we should probably head to the house Yukiteru-kun mentioned… It seems it may rain, and I'm sure they'll be back soon." Touching his chin, he began to chuckle. "I hope he doesn't do anything too rash…"

[I sure hope not!] A more frantic tapping. [I don't want him getting hurt!]

"Oh, no… Don't misunderstand, Celty-san. I trust that Yukiteru-kun won't get himself killed. I also trust that he won't leave us behind."

Minene released a bark of laughter. "If there's anything that I can believe about that kid, I can at least give him that. Ya just can't kill the kid; Rika's the same way, somehow. He just ain't gonna give up."

Looking between Minene and Akise, Celty seemed at least slightly assured by their confidence. It occurred to her that perhaps Yukiteru and Rika deserved a little more merit, and she relaxed. Just because they were younger and seemed normal at first glance… she knew that they were just as abnormal as anyone else she'd ever known well. How could she had thought anything less? When 'abnormality' was her _normal_.

As they walked towards the small collection of houses beyond, Yato found himself lagging behind detachedly. _A Dullahan,_ he repeated in his head. _For what reason… did they need to die?_

Kincho began pawing restlessly at Celty's shoulder, grunting at her in distress. She attempted to calm the armadillo down with pets, but to no avail. She stopped walking, and everyone else followed suit.

"What does that damned armadillo _want?_ " growled Minene, and Celty gave a flustered gesture in indication that she didn't know.

"Oh, my," said Akise as Kincho bounded off of Celty's shoulder, through the air, and onto the grass. He squealed at them, much to their confusion. All four of them watched Kincho struggle to explain something that no one could understand, grunting a few more times, sniffing the ground, and then skittering forward towards the very houses that were their destination.

"What the hell?" Minene scratched at her purple-haired head.

"Perhaps we should follow," said Akise.

Celty nodded her helmet in confirmation before they all hurried after the armadillo with all their curious confusion in tow.

* * *

They met one another above the forest. A-ya climbed a tree beneath Yukiteru, jumping into the air with the branch he'd pushed off from vibrating in protest, or perhaps fear. "Hey," said the dark-clad hero rising before his friend, and they seemed to hover there, suspended in a moment.

Yukiteru's blue eyes widened. "A…"

"I can't fly, you know," he said, and went down again, landing easily on a branch below before jumping to the forest floor beneath him, knees bent to take impact more easily. Yukiteru descended slowly, landing with gentle grace. A-ya righted himself, straightening his legs and shifting his weight casually to one side. For what seemed like a few minutes, at least, neither of them spoke.

"Your cape's gone," Yukiteru said finally, and A-ya furrowed his brow. Yukki swallowed.

"Uh… yeah."

"Not that it's any less cool," Yukiteru added quickly. "You still look really super awesome, not that you ever—oh, this is totally not how planned this going…" He hung his head in despair.

A-ya's laughter rang in his ears; what a pleasant sound…! Delight stirred, and Yukiteru raised his head, smiling awkwardly. Would this be alright, after all?

"I'm glad," said A-ya, "that talking to you is the same mundane thing."

He squinted at his dark-clad friend. "That… _wasn't_ sarcasm… right?"

"No," A-ya assured him, closing his eyes. "It really wasn't." He took a deep breath. "After all… that was I'd wished for most, that night, right…?"

Recognition flickered in those blue orbs, visions flickering of hands held on rooftops, the stars making their twinkling rotation above them. "A-ya, I'm really happy… that I got to see the stars with you."

"Me… too," A-ya agreed.

Yukiteru smiled, the warmth of optimism was beginning to set his eyes alight. "So—are things… well?"

"To a point," A-ya answered cautiously.

"That's—good! I think." He paused. "Everyone on my end's fine too," he added. "I think… it would be—wonderful… if, maybe…"

"We're not reforming as a group," A-ya told him, his tone dropping in to deadness. "It's too late… for something like that…"

"It's never too late for anything like that!" Yukiteru assured him, spreading his arms. "We'd all be happy if you came back! Yeah, Twelve and Suzuya, too! And… probably Izaya…. Well…" He averted his eyes with a furrowed brow, thinking on that statement. "I don't know so much about Izaya, but we'd work it out, I'm sure…"

"Yukiteru, don't you understand? What I'm trying to do…"

"What's that, reset?" Yukiteru took a step forward. "We don't need that! See, it's okay, because we know how to end the game, right? It takes the cooperation of everyone on the playing field, so… And Celty; she's met Aureus! I've seen her without her helmet – she really doesn't have a head… You've _gotta_ see it…"

A-ya flinched. "I'm resetting the game," he said softly.

"Well, I'm ending it," Yukiteru said firmly. "Why do we gotta reset it if we can end it for good? What's the point of reliving this terrible game? You know, I just found out that we've played this all before, over and over and over again… It's not like it ever changes much."

"And I've told you," A-ya said flatly, "that I wouldn't mind doing it all again, all the same way."

" _Why?_ " A frustrated and befuddled inquiry. "How could you not mind?"

"Don't you get it, Yukiteru? What is there waiting for us beyond this game?" A-ya raised his palms to the sky, shrugging with arms wide apart. His own eyes were despairing. "There _is_ no future."

"Sure there is!" Yukiteru cried. "What makes you think that—?"

"This game is fake, remember?" A pause. "Nothing here is reality… Everything… nothing more than a dream. We're just acting out the parts in a play. Somewhere, somehow, we're carrying on with our normal lives. And because of that… there's nowhere to go if we end the game. With the end of the game comes the end of _us_ …" He bowed his head. "And… I don't want to return to a world where none of this happened, either. I don't care if none of it changes – I _want_ to lie next to you and tell you about Mearry-san. I want you to tell me about Deus ex Machina – over, and over, and over again… I want you to tell me about the stars, and I want to feel like maybe I'm not alone after all. I want to be with you – I don't want it to be like we've never met… I want C-ta at my side again – yeah, I don't care if he tries to kill me, even…! I want him to make me feel worthless, useless, helpless! I _want_ Keiichi to try to end me; I _want_ to feel exactly what it's like to have somebody to cling to when I've lost _everything_ that I once held close to me!" A-ya looked at him, eyes quivering in their sockets. "I don't want to lose you, Yukiteru. And this feeling of longing… the fear that's twisting up my insides right now… It's the most vivid thing I've ever felt."

Yukiteru didn't know what to say at first, his hands clutching themselves at his chest. "A-ya…"

He tilted his head, his expression welling with desperation. "I don't want all of this to have never happened. I want it to continue being real. I want it to happen… as many times as it has to. Is that so wrong?"

The cloaked boy thought about it. "It's not… that it's wrong, A-ya. But if you want to be with me… if you don't want to lose me, then why are you so far away? How does that make any kind of sense?"

A-ya blinked at him, shocked. "That's… right." The dark-clad one took a step forward. "That's exactly right! Why don't you try to reset this with me? It's not like you don't miss the beginning, yourself… I'm sure that there are things you want to fix, and I'm sure you don't want to go back as if this never happened, right?"

"I mean, you're right, kinda, but…" Yukiteru shifted from one bare foot to the other. "What's the point if we won't remember? Would it be any better the next time? I'd be happy… just having had time with you at all, A-ya. And who says we have to go back home as if nothing happened?" He offered a weak smile. "It's true that I told you that you're my first friend… and under the circumstances of this game, that's the truth. You're my best friend, too… and I don't want to lose you, either… So…"

"Then we can go back to the beginning together, can't we? That's all I want!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea, A-ya…"

"Why not?" A-ya pressed. "Why don't you think it's such a good idea?"

"How _can_ it be when it requires you getting possessed?!" Yukiteru cried. "Look, I'm sure we can work out the whole possessed-by-a-demon thing, but we don't _need_ to hit the reset button just because things haven't gone well so far. There are still people we could save – there are still people that can make it! And I'm sure that the end isn't so grim as you make it out to be, A-ya… Even if it's undesirable, we'll show the game masters who's boss, and we'll _make_ a happy ending! Okay?"

A-ya stared at him with flat eyes. Yukki's arguments seemed to evade him. The dark-clad hero tilted his head slightly to the opposite side, face devoid of expression. His eyes flickered. "Ahh… I wonder… why… ma **ybe…**?"

"Okay, A-ya, when you that double voice thing, it's still kinda creepy," Yukiteru said nervously.

" **It is true that you haven't lost them yet,** " they commented. "When for me… C-ta… B-ko… There was… Roy…" He brought his hands to his face.

"A-ya…," Yukiteru began, empathetic.

" **So then, if I kill him, you will understand.** "

What?

"W…wait…"

"You know." A-ya lowered his hands just enough for his glowing red eyes to show. "Surely if you lose Akise, you'll understand how I feel, right? If he were dead, you'd want to go back to the beginning for sure. Wouldn't you? **Wouldn't you? Yes, I'm sure you would. And then…** "

"A-ya, I really think that that demon guy is giving you some really bad ideas…," Yukiteru said cautiously, unconsciously taking a step back.

His dark-clad friend only grinned at him. " **Then you and I really can be together, can't we?** "

" _A-ya!_ You're spouting the same crazy stuff that C-ta would!" Yukiteru argued in nervous exasperation. "Do you really think that would make me want to be on your side if you _killed my friend?_ What the hell?!"

"All you need to do is understand that, if the game is fake, he's really not dead! No one is—not Keiichi, not Sebastian or Migi, not Roy or L, not C-ta…!" He tittered madly. "If we go back, all of them will be alive, so it's okay, right?"

"I _really_ don't think it would be," Yukiteru refused, shaking his head.

"Hey, Yukiteru… That's the whole reason that I separated myself from everyone else, you know? This is the very reason you and I can't be beside one another…!"

"And why does it have to be like that? We don't need to…"

"Then join me, **why don't you? This game is a fairytale, so dance in my dream with me.** " His face contorted into an eerie smile. " **Nothing would make me… happier.** " At this statement, A-ya charged.

It began to rain. Yukiteru noticed a drop land on his cheek from the cover of the leaves above. Then he was in the up above, gliding through the air to avoid A-ya's first attack.

" **I don't want to fight you, you know,** " they said, then snickered. " _It's against my orders,_ " added a voice that gave Yukiteru chills.

"Then we can work through this! You know?"

They laughed. _I need to drive him away for now, or else show him what I truly feel. I want, want, want, want, want him to be on my side, at my side, be at his side, I want it, I…_

 **Yes, that's right, find the feelings and express them, why don't you? What is it that you feel for him?**

 _I want to see him, again and again, I want to not be alone, I don't—want to hurt him…_

 **So if you want him at your side, if it's true that you**

 _Love him. I love him._

They burst through the leaves above them, just as A-ya was about to tackle him back to earth, Yukiteru gave a stammering apology as he sent his friend to the ground of the field beyond. A-ya felt the weight of gravity heavy at his chest. He struggled to raise himself from the influence of Yukiteru's ability.

 **If you want him at your side… if you truly want to save him, then use that monstrous power, why don't you? Don't hold back too much, or he'll best you.**

Yukiteru's eyes were shining as he approached the weighted A-ya, staggering to his feet. "I'm not going to let you reset the game, and I'm not going to let you die, either. No matter what you do or say… Yeah, I know, somehow – I'll make it alright! You got it, A-ya? No matter how much you fear the future, I'll _make_ our future, and you know what? I'll meet you there." His expression broke into a somewhat sad smile as he released A-ya from the extra gravity. "Wherever we are, whoever we are… remember me, okay? I'll be at your side in that future; promise!"

" **And the past…** " A-ya lunged at him only for Yukiteru to bound into the air, flying at high speeds. " **…** _ **is**_ **our future!** " A-ya knew that he couldn't fly like Yukiteru could. While he still had time, he grabbed at Yukiteru's cloak and pulled him down. " **Let's live together in the next world, in the next and the next and the next!** " Eyes flashing crimson, A-ya kicked Yukiteru downwards. Yukiteru felt assured that he would catch himself with his gravitational abilities, but much to his horror, they no longer worked.

The earth shuddered as Yukiteru plummeted into the ground beneath him, buried in a crater that he could not comprehend was something his own body had made. He tried to get up only to collapse again. He began to cough, struggling for air as though only now did his windedness catch up with him – he'd hit the ground too fast to worry about something like _air_.

A-ya landed at the edge of the hole, his eyes wide. "Yu…ki…teru…?" He began to sway. "Are you…?"

Yukiteru couldn't bring himself to answer; his head was spinning and he'd lost his breath. He felt sure that the rain was trying to drown him.

Bringing his hands to his face once more, the dark-clad boy curled forward, now staggering under the weight of his own mind. The dirt that Yukiteru was struggling to sit up in was gradually turning to mud as the sky poured its sympathies upon them.

 **What will you do?** asked the serpent.

 _I don't know._

 **What will he think?**

 _I don't know._

 **Do you see now? What you're capable of?**

 _I don't know…_

Yukiteru was on his hands and knees by the time A-ya could hear the sounds of a small voice, calling out to them frantically in the loudest volume they could likely muster. He looked to the small Rika emerging from the woods they'd originally been in. What, had she been watching them before? They must have flown right over her head.

" _Ah; so the Princess is here~_ " A-ya found that he couldn't stop himself from speaking.

She glared at A-ya as she at last reached them, breathing hard. Accusingly, she pointed at the dark-clad demon. "Let Yukiteru go. I must return with him to our group. He has attempted to save you from the dark path you tread, and you have refused. Leave us be."

A-ya began to titter again. He wanted to scream, or maybe just float away and never come back down. He felt like an alien, or like he'd lost his body and become a stranger. He wondered if he would recognize himself in the mirror.

"Ri—ka?" Yukiteru choked out. "What're you—?"

"We're leaving this scene immediately. Come on; the others need us _now_."

"Wh—wha…?" Yukiteru stumbled to his feet, unsteady as he scrambled back to level ground. "What happened?"

"It does not matter. We must hurry," she said seriously.

"What about—?" Yukiteru looked to where A-ya had stood only to find that he was gone. "…Ah?"

"No time," Rika grabbed at Yukiteru's hand and pulled, but the cloaked one pulled her back.

Before she could protest, he scooped her up in his arms, wincing as he did so before taking off. Thank God – seemed like he could use his powers again. "If there's no time, then we'll do this. How do you know something's wrong?"

The rain began to slow. Rika looked like she was eyeing something – or someone – that Yukiteru couldn't see.

"I had some help," she said quietly.

"Well, let's hurry," Yukiteru said simply, and sped back towards the others with thoughts of A-ya still heavy in his mind.

* * *

The armadillo led the four of them to the very house that Yukiteru spoke of, skittering up the front step and scratching at the bottom of the door. It squeaked and squealed in distress of its predicament of not being tall enough to open the door, not to mention its lack of opposable thumbs. Akise was more interested in the stoop than the door itself, apparently. As Celty opened the door for Kincho, Minene asked him: "Ah, whatchya lookin' at?"

"There's blood," he commented, straightening back up and following the others in the door. He left it open for Yato, who slipped in with his head bowed. The door remained open behind them.

"Oh, jeez…" Minene rubbed at the back of her head. She, Celty, and Akise all gathered around Kincho's finding: the broken, battered, and beaten body of Yoh Takami, his blood still somehow fresh. Looked as though he'd been picked apart by someone or another, perhaps a ghoul. Kincho squealed and wailed in despair, turning around and around and sniffing at the human again and again as if it were unable to accept the fact that he was dead. Unbeknownst to any of them, Yoh had been another caretaker of his.

"Ya think he knew the armadillo?" asked Minene.

"I'd suppose he did," Akise answered, quiet. The armadillo's cries died down into miniature utterances of sorrow. It curled up at Yoh's side, nudging at him and nestling itself in the crook of his neck.

[How terrible…]

"To think," said Minene, "that an armadillo is mourning somebody."

Yato stared at all of them, and at the armadillo, and at Yoh Takami. The last time he'd seen this boy, he'd been trying to kill Yato. Yeah, and who was it who died instead?

He recalled how it felt to have Yukine's soul ripped from his bond by spirit. He recalled the way he'd parted into two pieces, severed neatly. He recalled the experience of watching his Shinki die in front of him.

And why should it be that Hiyori had died? What had she ever done? He'd already dreaded her mortality – she was meant to age and die long before Yato's existence had been extinguished. For her life to be cut off like that… Did it really matter who'd done it? Why did Death need to be so cruel, no matter the circumstance?

For Yukine to have suffered in life the way had – he was a lost soul, after all! He'd first died when he was _fourteen_ ; what was this terrible truth?

He could not kill Death. Here, did that rule still apply? He could be wounded by mortals here, why couldn't the personification of death be killed?

Who said any of the so-called rules couldn't be broken?

What was it, really, that a Dullahan looked like in its true form?

What about the God of Calamity?

 _All this talk of the future… when the future is just as fleeting as the past. Why should I play along, at this point…? I began with nothing, and finally I'd found people who wanted me around. It took years, yeah, centuries. And now both of them are gone. What is the point? Where is your reason for me to keep going in this way?_

Before him, the other three were discussing the possibilities of Yoh's origin. It seemed the armadillo nor the cadaver were willing to give them any answers. Yato shifted his weight to one side of his body, feeling himself grow colder. Yes, what was it that Celty would become if she lost those friends she spoke of? If she lost the man she alluded to in her oh-so-inspirational speech?

Who was it he had left, now? Who did he know would not leave his side, without fail?

[Perhaps we should wait for Rika and Yukiteru outside the house.] suggested Celty.

"I mean, I'm down with that, if you want," shrugged Minene. "But I kinda wanna see Yukki react to a dead body, honestly."

"Minene-san, even I have to say that's pretty terrible," Akise sighed.

"Oh, come on, it's not so bad!"

Yato supposed it was also true that the mechanisms at work in this game, being as suspicious as they were… Couldn't it be that by the end of the game, he could go back to a life with Yukine and Hiyori both beside him? Couldn't going home be some kind of reward – of course without the consequence of losing them for good. No, surely he would find them again, some way or another. Or perhaps… not so surely. Couldn't he make the game masters give them back? He could try it.

He guessed that maybe, just maybe, he might be able to return to that life. All he needed was to avoid temptation and keep on keeping on, right?

He listened to the smooth voice of Akise, the harsh tones of Minene. The tapping of Celty's touch screen. Iron permeated his senses. He imagined Yoh opening his eyes and looking at him. He imagined him smiling a smug smirk that made him itch. He pictured warm magenta eyes, and closed his own. The loss swept over him as an ocean. He may drown. Who could save him now?

He uttered a single word under his breath: " _Hiki._ "

At first there was nothing; just the idle musing of the three over the body. That, and the armadillo in mourning. It snuffled quietly, burrowing itself closer to Yoh, almost hiding beneath his cold body in search of his warmth. They figured that it knew its friend was dead, whether it acknowledged it or not.

"Speaking of which, maybe _Yato_ knows the guy. He's being too damn quiet," said Minene. "Oi, Ya—" She was cut off by a quick and simple slash. There he was, with a sword in hand, its blade jutting from the Dullahan's chest. Everything stopped. Yato's cold eyes had frozen time itself.

He ripped the blade through her, and all at once time began again. Her body dropped with a very stiff and dull _thud_. Her helmet tumbled from her neck and rolled across the room.

"Shit!" Minene began, pulling a grenade as fast as she could from her belt. She managed to pull the pin before he'd slashed through her gut once. Grasping at her abdomen, she moved backwards with stealth and precision as the bomb went off. The God of Calamity sliced through the flames and then through her, stabbing just below her ribcage. She fell to her knees with a grimace, expression contorted as she collapsed.

In the midst of the confusion, Akise had grabbed at the first object he could find that could possibly be used as a weapon. Kincho was screeching in terror, scrabbling on the hardwood floor to hide underneath the cadaver.

"You… mother—fucker…" Minene got out. "A—ki… se… get, out…" She weakly struggled with the pin of her last remaining grenade, but Yato, crouching in front of her, took it easily from her and pulled the pin himself, tossing it carelessly behind him. "You're—a dick…"

Yato's expression was blanker than it had ever been. His expression was the picture of Nothing. The second grenade went off, somewhere in the background. "I told you it was the wrong decision to bring me into your group." Oddly, her eyes looked beyond him now.

 _It's—that bald asshole…?_

At that, Yato turned suddenly on Akise, who blocked his blade with a medium length, milky-red staff. The thing splintered with a loud crack, and Akise _tsk_ 'd before making a break for it through the fire the second grenade had made. _I was using a bone,_ Akise thought in amazement, and that was the only initial thought he could muster.

Well, rather… his _first_ initial thought was, _I've made a mistake._

The silver-haired one burst through the back door and skidded on the thickly wet grass, soaked in blood. Looked like someone had been lying in his own pool for some time here. But how would that help him?

 _I need to warn Yukiteru-kun,_ he thought urgently, as Yato came calmly out from the burning house.

"Thank you, Akise," said Yato. All his being was comprised of coldness and darkness. As the sun set, so, too, did his warmth. "If it weren't for you, I'd not have been able to complete a task like this. Thank you for saving my life; and thank you for your hospitality."

Akise chuckled drily, his eyes narrowed. "You hardly seem grateful, Yato-san…"

"I've fulfilled your wish, Akise. You said I only needed to uphold it until I met up with my partner again, didn't you? And here she is…" Nora buzzed in his grip, content. He pointed his blade to Akise, who spread his stance in preparation for a fight he knew he couldn't win.

"So you did," Akise conceded. "Was that what all this was about? I can't possibly believe that's the only reason you stayed… But… I don't suppose… you could accept one more request?"

"No, I couldn't."

Those eyes were of ice. Akise remembered a similar feeling associated with the time where Yato had first snapped.

"I guess there's no point in asking why you've done this, at this point…"

"No, there's not."

"It was worth a shot," Akise smiled, and he jumped backwards in anticipation of the slash he knew was coming. The blade skidded over his bulletproof vest, and the silver-haired one began to chuckle. _I'm going to die._ He knew that the next blow would surely end him. Stabbing right through the vest into the heart? Straightforward decapitation? "This is alright, Yato-san. As long as Yukiteru-kun makes it, I—"

The blade came.


	35. Night Falls

The unified conglomerate of nine had already laid down the structure of their gamble of harrowing Seidou Takizawa. It was decided that every one of them would be segmented into three main groups: those who would be directly interacting with Seidou (that is, Akira and Roppi), those who would remain nearby for backup or as a buffer from outside influence, and then those who would not participate at all. All of them were discussing the plan and giving suggestions and whatnot, but it seemed to be an unspoken truth that Akira and Kaneki were at the head of this project. That being said, the both of them had decided early on that there would definitely be people who wouldn't participate. Even under the event that everyone _did_ want to, they would still select at least three people to remain apart from the project. Call them designated survivors, if you want.

Akira tried to suggest that Kaneki be one of these 'designated survivors,' and he'd looked at her with a face of stone.

In the end, he was participating for sure.

But of the nine of them, Rin opted out under Shirou's request ("I didn't really want to be involved anyway, Shirou."), and Hide was practically forced out of the project by both Kaneki and Akira. After that, they wanted to choose someone strong enough to take care of the others should anything happen. Their first choice had been Shirou, seeing as he was perceived to be relatively strong, and he was close to Rin after all.

Needless to say, Shirou refused vehemently. "I've been fighting to try and help Seidou this whole time – I want to partake!"

So instead, Shinichi was to be staying with Rin and Hide at the designated safe spot, or base… or whatever you wanted to call it. "Perhaps Shintaro should also remain with them," said Roppi, his sleeve to his mouth.

They looked at the jerseyed one, bent over on the floor as he picked apart the telephones he'd collected from all around the hotel. The tools he was using were ones he'd found amongst other miscellaneous things behind the reception desk. He was concentrating deeply, and only responded with a vague, "Un?" at the sound of his name.

"I feel like he wants to join us," Shirou said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

"He'll be safer with Shinichi-kun's group," Kaneki mused.

"I am taking part," Shintaro uttered as he worked. "I want to see Seidou."

"If he understands the dangers… well, is that still okay?" asked Hide.

Shintaro firmly smacked the pliers he was using to the floor, looking up to everyone else with eyes shining red. "I know the dangers, and I'm going with you. I want to be there. If I'll be in the way, that's one thing, but if I'm hanging back with Konoha, in hiding, then that's enough for me. I don't want to be in the background for this one. Seidou is important to me, too."

"Fucking eyes…," muttered Roppi, looking away.

 _Ah, I'd never asked him about those, had I?_ thought Kaneki, staring intently at the pliers. He didn't answer for some time.

"Understood," said Akira. "However, I don't know that it would be…"

"We'll let you, on the condition that you remain with Konoha, and only with Konoha," said Kaneki, his eyes still set on the pliers. "…Be careful with that," he added dismissively, and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shintaro blinked. By then, his eyes were grey again. "Eh?" He looked at the pliers. "I mean… I will. I'm gonna—make us walkie talkies." In presentation, he held two of the phones up. "I saw it once in a textbook."

"Will that even work?" asked Rin skeptically.

"I have a photographic memory," Shintaro answered her distractedly, picking his tool back up and returning to his work.

"Let him feel useful," Roppi said to Rin.

"Oi!" Shintaro cried in protest.

"He has his worth, Roppi," Kaneki sighed lightly, smiling that Mona Lisa smile.

Now the sun was setting and Shintaro didn't know whether Kaneki's words had any merit. He didn't know if even his own words had merit. The three that weren't participating – Shinichi, Rin, and Hide – were about to leave now, giving their 'good luck's and their 'see you's. They would only act on their plan tonight if they found themselves under the correct circumstances. If it got to be too late and the circumstances didn't arise, then they would join Shinichi, Rin, and Hide in the residential area they had been designated to. It was the same suburban area where the graveyard lie in the northernmost part. The group of six that _were_ involved situated themselves on the outside of the thickest part of the woodland here, just between the edge of the city and the edge of the forest.

Shintaro watched the farewell scenes from a distance, sitting on a stump where the only thing he'd have to give was an awkward little wave. Shinichi gave very quiet goodbyes. He spent more time bidding adieu to Kaneki and Roppi than anyone else. The partial parasite did make a point of catching Shintaro's eye and bowing slightly. Shintaro hastily nodded back, and he was admittedly happy to see Shinichi smile at him.

For Rin, the most prominent of goodbyes was with Shirou. Made sense, knowing that they'd found one another here only for one of them to go on some risky mission. Shintaro imagined that Rin would be scolding him for not sticking around with the safe group. She _had_ to be, her hands were on her hips and everything. Though that wasn't uncommon for her in general, anyway… She was cut off from whatever she was saying when Shirou hugged her. Some kind of tsundere struggle ensued, followed by timid acceptance. Shintaro had to stop watching – she sure was cute.

Akira and Hide exchanged bows, and the blond patted Roppi on the back, all friendly. He did the same for Konoha, and his android friend proceeded to pick him up and squeeze in his odd form of affection. Hide was laughing all the way through, so Shintaro supposed it was okay. The NEET smiled at the scene, if slightly. Kaneki was the last to be approached. The half-ghoul was as subtle as ever, speaking things that were likely words of concern for Hide's safety. Shintaro watched as the brighter of the two pounced on Kaneki in an aggressive show of all of his care. He could tell that Kaneki didn't quite know how to react, but he could also kinda tell that this was routine… or had once been routine, at some time. He wondered what had changed that. He wondered what had changed any one of the people here. He wondered whether Kaneki had ever pushed away Hide like Shintaro had pushed away Ayano. He wondered why anything had to change, and then he thought to himself that if he could have anything, he'd ask to start over.

He hung his head. That wouldn't work, would it? No… And now he was thinking too much – at least his walkie-talkies worked. Shinichi's group had one, and then Kaneki, himself, and Shirou would each get one, too. He'd made four in all… He'd been initially worried about how well they'd work, but Shirou had come over to take a look and, using some kind of teal sparky mage-stuff, had fixed up anything that could be improved with them. Shintaro and Shirou then tested them out together – the next obstacle would be the range of communication. Even with Shirou's tampering, they could only be so far away from one another before the reception was shot.

Just as Shintaro was about to give up on the contraptions, the phones had sparked in varying degrees of explosiveness. The color then had been gold. Although Shintaro had panicked and Roppi, nearby, had dully criticized his handiwork, they worked fine afterwards. In fact, they'd worked even better. No matter the distance, it seemed, the quality was not hindered, let alone the reception.

Shintaro imagined the golden-haired items master sitting in his swivel chair with two thumbs up, waggling them back and forth. "Thanks, Aureus," he uttered, and sighed. _I really hope this is a good idea._

It began to rain. Shintaro thought he heard Kaneki breathe the word "cloudburst" as he looked to the sky. It was Shirou, however, that sat beside Shintaro on the stump. "Mind if I join you?" he inquired politely, and Shintaro shook his head. It was then that the redhead sat. "How are you holding up, Shintaro-kun?"

 _He's so friendly,_ he thought. "Um… I'm… holding. Up. Yeah."

"So, you're so-so," he chuckled. "Ah… it's fair." He paused. "I hope that Tohsaka-chan will be safe. Thank you for making those walkie-talkies."

"No… no. Thanks for, uh… fixing them up with your… mage… stuff. Real cool."

Shirou shook his head. "I don't know how you managed to fix the reception issue, though. That wasn't me."

"I had help…," Shintaro uttered, rubbing at his arm. He paused. "Mm…" He looked at the ground. "Hey, Shirou – you… uh."

"Hm? What is it, Shintaro-kun?"

"You're involving yourself in something as risky as this… Even though you didn't know Seidou very well, I'm sure… It's—really brave, and so… I wanted… to say… I dunno. You're pretty—heroic."

Shirou blinked at Shintaro, then laughed a bit, modestly rubbing at the back of his head. "I wouldn't go so far as to say that… Brave? I don't know whether I… would fit into that bracket. I'm just doing what I think is right."

Shintaro gazed at him with a light sigh escaping his lips. "But isn't it hard just to do that much?"

"It shouldn't be," Shirou told him somberly.

"Isn't it difficult to find what's 'right,' though?"

"…Sometimes," he conceded. "But to me… Well." He smiled a distant, nostalgic kind of smile. "My father was my hero. A long time ago, he saved me… And from then on I thought that maybe, if I could save at least _one_ person, then… that alone would make all the difference. That alone should bring me happiness. That's what true happiness is, isn't it? I figure that if I try to save everyone, then I'll be that much happier. That's my belief… That's all."

"To save at least one person… huh…" Shintaro's eyes were overcast. "I've been hearing that a lot lately. Say… Shirou."

"Yeah, Shintaro-kun?"

"If someone were to just save one person, would that make them a hero?"

That warm smile. "I'd say so."

"Even if they don't think they're a hero, that is?"

"Of course."

"I see… Thank you." _Because if Seidou saved me, and he's a hero to me… then he, too, should be saved._ Maybe this would work out, after all. That ever-indecisive sense of confidence began to flow again.

"Do we all know our stations?" asked Akira officially, calling everyone to attention. Shirou stood up, and Shintaro awkwardly followed suit. The six of them were all gathered together.

"I will be in the building just over there," said Shirou, pointing his thumb behind him.

Akira and Kaneki gave nods. "An upper floor, that is," added Kaneki, touching his chin. "There, you will intervene with long-range attacks if need be… If anything is going remotely wrong, you will act." Shirou gave his assent, and Kaneki continued, "I will maintain the area between the six of us and the three apart from us… Hide, Shinichi, and Tohsaka-chan will have me at their aid if anything goes wrong on their end. If anything goes wrong in the mission regarding Seidou, then I will help this end, here. I'll also pay mind to anyone that may be coming our way."

"If any other groups are in the vicinity when Takizawa is led here," said Akira, "the plan will not take place. There are no exceptions. Understood?"

A chorus of understanding.

The CCG officer continued, "I will be waiting here. Shirou, Shintaro, and Kaneki all have a communication device, courtesy of Shintaro. Nagachika's group also has one. We will communicate through those. Before Kaneki leaves for his post in between this group and Nagachika's group, he will be watching over Shintaro while Konoha and Roppi track down Takizawa."

Nodding, Roppi continued, "Konoha here will find him using his weird-ass ears, and I'll be reminding him to keep tabs on everyone else he can hear. We don't want any interference, or else we're screwed. We'll find him, I'll be a dick, and then Seidou will follow me, using Konoha for speed…"

"I don't remember telling you to 'be a dick,'" Akira said flatly.

"How does one 'be a dick'?" asked Konoha, his hand raised.

Roppi sighed heavily.

"Roppi will _lure_ Seidou to this area," said Kaneki patiently, "without trying to make him angry. He will only resort to egging him on if it is _absolutely necessary._ " He eyed the alternate. "Right, Roppi?"

"Yeah…" He distractedly pulled his jacket back up onto his shoulders, where it was supposed to be. "Got it. And then I stab him with the Harrowing Blade when I have the chance, and that's when Akira's waiting here comes in."

"I go to Shintaro at some time… right?" said Konoha, looking to Roppi.

"You will retreat from the scene as quickly you can," Akira confirmed. "Either when Roppi uses his blade on Takizawa, or when you reach this clearing here."

"Which one?"

"The one that comes second," Roppi clarified dully. If one were paying close attention, they'd notice the anxiety underlying his voice. Anyone not paying close attention would peg it as impatience.

"…Ah," said Konoha softly.

"As soon as you retreat," Kaneki said to the android, "you will stay with Shintaro. There should be no reason for you to leave his side after that. I will go to my post either at that point or before that, but I don't want Shintaro-kun put in any unnecessary danger."

"I will do my very best to protect my friend," Konoha said firmly.

"If anything goes wrong, though," said Akira, "you can step in if you think you can help. If you do, though, you must also make sure that Shintaro is safe."

"Ah… yes."

"Is that all fine for you, Konoha?" asked Kaneki. "Do you understand?"

"I think I do," he nodded. "Go with Roppi, find Seidou, then leave Roppi alone when the second thing comes. Stay with Shintaro. Help if I can."

"If things get too rough," Roppi added with averted eyes, "then it might be better for you to grab Shintaro and take him to Shinichi and the others… okay?"

Something that might have been concern flickered in those watermelon orbs. "I… see. Okay."

By now the rain had stopped and the sun was setting. All through their discussion, they'd been pretending that there weren't the familiar crashes of battle somewhere in the distance. The sky was darkening in such a way that implied more than the night – a storm was brewing, for better or for worse.

"Speaking of which," said Shirou, "Konoha… what's the word on Seidou, or other groups?"

"Ah…" Konoha tilted his head, eyes hazing. As the sky darkened, the luminescence of his eyes was becoming more evident. "Cluster of… three. That is our friends. Then… Ah, a one-two person, down, way down that way… A one person, and another one… no, two person there… Three-person-not-ours, over there…"

"How far away?" asked Akira seriously.

"Far away. They're far away; all of them, except our three. The other three-person is closest besides them, but they are not moving anywhere."

"What about Seidou?" Shintaro asked Konoha.

"Make sure it's Seidou," added Roppi with a meaningful look.

"Mm? Seidou is right there," Konoha answered calmly, turning around and pointing to the top of a building not all too far away. He wasn't right behind them by any means, but they could see his cloak billowing in the wind from here. Indeed, from here they could at least tell that he was looking their way.

"I thought you said he was in the woods, there," Roppi said, tone taut.

"He was," Konoha agreed. "He moved."

"No shit—"

"Perhaps we shouldn't—" began Akira, but Kaneki cut her off.

"Everyone get into position." They looked at one another.

"We're doing it," Shirou chimed in. "He's here, isn't he? What else could we ask for? So he's coming from the wrong side; so what? Let's go for it while we have the chance!"

"Change of plans," Roppi said flatly, shoving his machine gun at Konoha, much to the android's confusion. "Konoha, take care of Shintaro. I'm going to approach him alone. I'll make sure he makes it here, I promise. Alright?"

"Roppi—" Shintaro began to protest.

"It's fine, Shintaro. I told you; I need this as much as Seidou does." The dark one turned to Akira and Kaneki. "Let me go. Even if you say no, I'll do it—because I think… that this is the right choice."

Shintaro thought for sure that the smile crossing Roppi's features was the closest thing to happiness he'd ever seen on his visage.

And just like that, it had begun.


	36. The Lonely

A-ya sat in the dampened grass where the forest ended and he could watch Yukiteru and Rika return to their group, wherever they may be.

 **What else did you expect, Loner?**

He wondered whether the sunset was beautiful beyond the clouds. He wondered what color it was.

"I hurt him," he said dazedly, and brought his knees to his chest. "What am I…?"

 **You should have known this was a risk from the beginning.**

" _It's just another trick, isn't it?"_

A-ya shifted. Who was that, talking? He shifted his gaze, someone just a bit younger than himself had sat beside him. He blinked slowly, his senses thrumming in and out of cognizance.

The other child looked at him with a single narrowed eye, his other shrouded by his dark hair. A cold smile touched his young, pale lips. A-ya remembered him, of course: Ciel Phantomhive? _"You've fallen for the same trap as me, huh…? I should have expected it."_ He chuckled, but A-ya could only blink again.

 **This sure is something,** commented the demon, sounding vaguely irritable.

" _Maybe people like you and I belong in the dark…"_ Ciel's eye was distant. _"Is it so bad? I can't even tell…"_

 **You should really get some sleep, kid.**

 _What's that? I should sleep?_

" _I'd wanted to see where you'd end up… Ironic, isn't it?"_

 **You need it. You know that you're sitting alone, right?**

"How's that?" he asked aloud. "When I'm with you, Kuroha…" He noticed that Ciel was gone.

 **I'll leave your body be while you rest. This is becoming a hindrance even for myself. I won't let you die; you're my host. But barring that, you should sleep.**

 _I should get back to the others and sleep with them,_ he thought, even as he buried his face in his knees. Oddly, he felt comfortably warm. All feelings of loneliness began to melt with his consciousness. Curled into the fetal position before the trees behind him, he began to slumber at last.

* * *

"So… how long will A-ya take, do ya think?" asked Suzuya.

"Who knows?" answered Izaya, unconcerned. "I'm more curious as to how he's doing with Yukiteru-kun…" He was possessed with that old fixated spark. "What will they talk about? What will they feel? What will they do? It's so exciting, I almost can't contain myself…!"

"You're weird," commented Suzuya, picking thoughtfully at the stitches on his right arm.

Izaya laughed. "Thank you, Suzu-chan~"

"Stop calling me that."

"Why should I?"

"Because…" Suzuya had to think about it. "…Because it's annoying."

Izaya only snickered.

"Maybe it's just that you're annoying," the albino conceded, bringing a finger to his lower lip. "Ah… That would make sense."

"Sorry to disappoint, Suzu-chan – you can't get rid of me so easy~"

"I could kill you, sometime."

"Alright!" Izaya chirped. "Wait in line, then – there's quite a few after me~"

"That's okay, I don't mind cutting."

Twelve couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. "You two are insane," he said good-naturedly. "Not that I'm not, but hey~"

"Sometimes, just a little bit," admitted Suzuya, "Izaya is kinda okay, maybe. In an annoying away."

"I'm touched," Izaya sneered, and Suzuya pointed his scythe at him.

"I don't like that face," he said lowly.

"Hey, hey," cut in Twelve, hands in the air. "I don't want any heads rolling right now, okay?"

"What about eyes?" inquired Izaya with humor as Suzuya rolled his in bother.

"I'll _incapacitate_ you, then," the officer sniffed, and Twelve laughed again.

"Ah, Suzu-chan learned a word after all~" cried the informant, who then dodged as 'Suzu-chan' swung his scythe at him.

"Akise was nice," smiled Twelve, his hands in his pockets. His brown eyes were rather distant. "Wonder how that lot's doing."

"Don't care," Suzuya said dismissively.

"Harsh~" said Izaya.

Twelve released a bark of laughter. "That doesn't mean much, seeing as you wouldn't care if even I died, right Suzuya? Unless that's changed?"

"It hasn't," said the albino, and any hope in Twelve's voice was extinguished as he sighed sadly.

"Ah, well… I tried," the terrorist shrugged. "And of course, there's Izaya…" Twelve paused. "Speaking of which, hey."

"Hm?~ What is it, Twelve?" That cold, cruel smile.

"Do you know why it is I chose to join you and A-ya over remaining with Minene and Akise and the others?"

"Hm?" Izaya's eyes were barely open, slits. "Because we're more interesting, I suppose?"

"No, Izaya… That's not it at all." That dark light that so intrigued Izaya flickered in Twelve's eyes as he smirked, but it didn't last long. He shook his head and displayed a look of detachment. "No, I understand that Suzuya doesn't like your eyes at all, but from the beginning… I've seen my partner somewhere in yours. Maybe that's just my projection, or whatever… That's a fair inference. But you have the same unreachable distance about you, and the same ice in your eyes. They're familiar to me. And it made me think…"

"Twelve-kun," Izaya smiled thinly, "if you're implying that you're becoming attached to me, then I find that to be incredibly… _cute._ I warned you from the beginning that the connections that you're trying to forge will only hinder you, and the fact that you want to befriend _me,_ of all people—why, it's just hilarious!"

"Oh, yes," Twelve answered warmly in turn. "It's very comical. I know that. Because just as _I_ warned _you_ … my partner said the very same thing to me." He beamed at the informant with narrowed eyes. "As sparks, we cannot burn alone, Izaya."

Izaya scoffed. "I don't _need_ anything like _connections_ or _ties._ I made that decision a long, long time ago, Twelve-kun."

"Then why did you say you were fighting for the one named Shizuo?"

He frowned.

"I'm not saying that you guys had that connection, by any means," Twelve shrugged. "But maybe, just maybe, you had longed for something like that. Could that be the truth? It sounds like a truth to me, over a lie."

"Hoh," Suzuya piped in, eyes wide in disconnected intrigue.

"If the only things that exist," said Twelve, "are things that sound like truths and things that sound like lies… then let's say that I've been trying to piece together a picture of Izaya Orihara that sounds like a truth rather than a lie. I can be wrong; I don't mind. But I'd like to get to know you." He smiled knowingly at the informant, and Izaya found himself narrowing his eyes warily. Oddly, his words brought him discomfort. "Let's say that Izaya, once upon a time, chose to disconnect himself from the world because he couldn't afford to care – for whatever reason. It could be selfish, it could be a defense, or it could be just because. In doing so, he shut himself out. That's not so bad – all three of us know the feeling of being shut out, don't we? We know how it feels to be alone in a crowded room, don't we? We're well acquainted the term _loneliness,_ whether we're consciously aware of it or not. A-ya knows it too; I'm sure of it.

"Now, continuing with the tale of Izaya Orihara, let's say that he's a lying bastard. Let's say that he's manipulative and has caused some horrible things." Izaya almost began to speak, but Twelve only continued with more power. "He's caused conflict. He's a warmonger of the human mind. A terrorist – that's right! He's a terrorist! A _real_ terrorist of psychology – you set off bombs in people's heads, in their relationships, and so on and so forth… Maybe Izaya has a goal in mind, but maybe he's just having a good time. That doesn't matter. He's satisfied, isn't he?" He looked at Izaya, who was just staring at him with his jaw set. Twelve released a _heh_. "Isn't he? Of course he's satisfied, but let's say that Izaya has taken himself so far down on this path that he's found himself all hollowed out and empty inside. Let's say that somewhere, somehow, he is still craving those troublesome things you call _connections_ because Izaya is still human, and as we've established, we know all too well the word _loneliness._ "

Twelve at last faced Izaya directly, and the informant actually found himself taking a step back. Hilarious. Twelve was smiling. "I guess my point is that I'm coming to think that all of that talk about how we don't need anyone else… that sounds like a lie. I want to work with you, Izaya." His eyes were shining with the light of sincerity, and that gentle smile – ah, such an expression was one he'd not often seen directed to him. In fact, only one other time, and that… (To think, that Shizuo would _die_ for him!) …That surely didn't count.

Izaya didn't know what to make of Twelve, on the other hand. He found himself sneering at the brunette, spilling with cold mirth. "Do you really believe that I'll fall for something like that?" he leered. "Hah! I'm touched that you're trying so hard – I really am! But just because I love humans as a whole doesn't mean I can take kindly to you specifically. I'll concede that you're interesting – oh _yes_ are you interesting! – but in the end, your efforts to 'reach me' are futile." His grin stretched from ear-to-ear. "Because I'm someone who doesn't want anybody to try and 'help' when I'm enjoying myself just fine. You're mistaken, Twelve-kun. I take joy in playing puppeteer, and there's no way I'll let myself get tied up in those precious strings of yours."

Twelve was unfazed. "I know about what a terrible person you can be," he admitted, and Izaya narrowed his eyes at him. "But we're all pretty terrible at some time or another. I've already pieced you together, the way I see it, and I'd like to try anyway. You think I'll back down from a challenge? I'd like to give you a chance… because we who've been shut out at some time or another aren't so alone when we're together… you know? No one deserves to be truly alone."

"You mock me," Izaya scoffed, derisive.

"I'm not trying to. I don't expect you to jump at the chance. You don't have to warm up right away. It takes a while for spring to bring flowers, you know? That being said, Izaya… someday, I would like to be your frie—…"

Twelve's expression went blank, perhaps just as confused as they all were. His brown eyes widened – they looked so tired now. Hurt. Izaya's mocking smile froze on his face; he couldn't quite react yet to the figure in the dark, nor the red dribbling from the corner of the terrorist's mouth.

"The heart is such a heavy, troublesome thing, isn't it?" spoke a low, deathly tone. Yato's eyes peered into Izaya's; the informant still didn't process what had just transpired. "Allow me to fix that," he said, and pulled the sword from Twelve's chest.

* * *

Yukiteru and Rika approached a building now on fire, frozen and unwilling to enter. The cloaked boy set Rika down on her feet, slow and gentle. "What happened?" asked Yukiteru faintly, and Rika closed her eyes. Beside them, unbeknownst to Yukki but known well to Rika, Hanyuu hovered with hands clutched tightly together.

"I-it… was Yato…," Hanyuu said tentatively, and Rika nodded. She opened eyes without warmth.

 _Could it really be… that Akise…?_ Her mouth downturned. _No, no need to jump to conclusions._ "This was Yato's doing," Rika spoke, and Yukiteru didn't respond, stepping towards the fire that gave them light. The sky was swelling with thick black – a storm was coming. "Yukiteru…," Rika tried again, but he only opened the door without a word. Frowning slightly, she followed after the other in deadened apprehension. Why should she be so perturbed by tragedy nowadays? There was no point.

Within the building, Minene's eyes flickered hazily to the figures entering. Reflecting on everything amongst the flames, she recalled how it felt to lose her parents all that time ago. All this time, what was it she longed for? _I was trying to save Rika, wasn't I?_ she thought hazily. For as long as she'd been fighting, in the end, she'd only wanted to be saved, too… _Someone… had better… take care of her._

And as Rika and Yukiteru looked at the bodies of Celty and Yoh and Minene, Rika of course approached her long-time teammate, crouching beside her and whispering an apology.

The terrorist smirked at her. "Y…ou guy…s better… win."

Rika's jaded eyes softened. "We will, Minene," she assured her, and Minene's eye lost what light it had left, leaving only the reflection of the flames. Expressionless, Rika stood as she heard the nervous skittering of the armadillo, scurrying to her side in all urgency. Blinking, she scooped Kincho up in her arms and looked to Yukiteru, who was staring at Celty and Yoh, trembling in place.

"What… is this?" His voice quivered hopelessly. Rika watched him wipe at his face with the crook of his arm. "What _is_ this…?" She approached him quietly, thinking it best for him to be left with his thoughts for now. Standing at his side, she hoped that her presence could bring some form of comfort. She could only ignore Hanyuu, who was stammering 'I'm sorry's and whimpering in her own despair.

She saw no need to cry. Maybe this had never happened before, but somehow all ended the same. A dull ache consumed her from within.

"Yato… huh…?" said Yukiteru, and he proceeded to pick up his machine gun from beneath Celty's body, having left it with her. Rika supposed they hadn't had time to retaliate with it. Yukki paused, his eyes shrouded. He seemed to sway on his feet. Rika followed after him as he wandered to every room, then out the back door. A pool of blood was there, but nothing else awaited him save for the night. Wind gusted about them, the fire at their backs. "…Where's Akise?" he asked.

"Akise…" Rika looked back to the house, but there was no upstairs to it. "I'm not sure." She paused, waiting for Yukki to say something. It seemed he had nothing else to say, eerily quiet as he stood still, looking to the black sky with his cloak billowing in the rising wind. Deciding he was too quiet, she opened her mouth to speak when she saw his shoulders shaking. She stopped herself.

In the quiet beyond the crackling flames, laughter emerged. It began soft, barely contained, and then erupted in an outburst of hysterics. Yukiteru turned to look at Rika, and she could see his tear-streaked face in the light of the fire. His wide, blue eyes had a strange spark that was all too familiar. He was smiling. "This is alright. Isn't it, Rika?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly. She wasn't sure what he meant. "How so, Yukiteru?"

"So what if Yato betrayed us? So what if Akise—who _knows_ what happened to Akise, right? And what does it matter?" He laughed with a hitch, an unnatural note to his tone. " _This game is fake_ , Rika! Anyone can die, and it doesn't matter! We can kill whoever we want, and it's _okay_ because in the end they'll come back, won't they?!"

Possessed with some whole new aura, Yukiteru cocked his machine gun and pointed it at Rika. "So if I kill you," he said, "it would bring me one step closer to the end, right?"

" _Yukiteru,_ " she said firmly, while Hanyuu fearfully covered her eyes.

He lowered the gun, tilting his head. "You're right… You're the only one I know that remembers other routes of the game… But on _that_ token, you probably want to go back to the beginning by now, don't you? Do you think A-ya's right? What do _you_ think?"

Rika stared at him, for once at a loss for words. It was true that it was Hanyuu that had reset her own world of the little town of Hinamizawa… Did she want to go back to the beginning? Of course she did. But…

"It's okay, Rika; we'll make it to the end, and we'll make sure the game masters bring everyone back," Yukiteru grinned. "And even if they don't, I'll go home and make sure that I become god so that I can bring everyone back – like Minene and Ciel and you and A-ya and C-ta and Keiichi and—and people like Yato can go ahead and DIE for all I care!" He dropped the gun to the ground and brought his hands to his face, staggering backwards before falling into a crouch on the wet ground. The rain began to fall again.

Rika began to approach with caution, but Hanyuu stopped her. "W-wait…" The young one looked closer, uneasy. Around Yukiteru, she could just make out the shriveling of the grass at his feet in the light of the fire. This influence of wilting death began to spread, and Rika took a step back. Kincho was trembling in her arms.

"Yukiteru… Please regain your senses…"

The shadow of his cloak seemed to flicker before he looked at her with utmost despair. "What else am I supposed to do?" he asked weakly.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

"What else… am I…?" He buried his face in his hands again. "How could I have thought I could save everyone? I-I… don't need anyone else… Not Akise… or you… Not Yuno… or—A-ya… I just—need myself. That's it… So… I can—do stuff on my own. Right? That's right… I'll—kill everyone… in order… to save them all. Yeah?"

"Yukiteru," Rika said seriously, "I don't think that you're thinking logically—"

"Don't SAY THAT," he snapped, and broke down into sobs.

The child closed her mouth again. She decided it was best to leave him be, and so she knelt there on the wet grass, already soaked – not that Yukiteru wasn't. It was all she could do as he wailed to the storm clouds above, impartial to their suffering.

"It's not like you're the only one," she whispered, bowing her head. Minene's somehow reassuring smirk came to mind. Her eyes burned. "Really… What am _I_ supposed to do, either? Yukiteru…"

Hands clutching at her black skirt, she mourned their losses alongside him.


	37. The Fool

**Ah, alas! With the end of finals and the holiday season keeping me busy, I was unfortunately unable to update last week. But the story's schedule should keep up it's regular weekly basis again from here.**

 **I hope you enjoy, and have a lovely day!**

* * *

The scream that ripped from Suzuya's throat was one that left Izaya rooted in place. It was such a beautiful sound, the emotion so raw that… even he could almost, almost feel it, too.

"I've been meaning to meet up with you again, Izaya," the God of Calamity said with glowing eyes of cerulean, a gaze that could cut diamonds. They flickered as Suzuya's scythe came down on him – of course, he dodged. The clearing was filled with the sounds of metal on metal. Izaya returned to himself, pulling the Prophet from its sheath. It was so dark by now, he could just dimly see where Suzuya and Yato were fighting. But every so often, he could see the flash of Yato's luminescent eyes, showing him exactly where he was. Mouth twitching, Izaya jumped into the fray as the rain began to come down again. Eerily, he felt sure that Twelve's eyes were watching him.

Izaya wanted to remark upon Suzuya's evident attachment to Twelve, but something stopped him. He thought he heard laughing among the clashing of sword on scythe on sword, and laughed harder when he realized it was his own. The informant brought down the Prophet in a hardy swoop that made Nora quiver beneath his crimson blade – Suzuya swiped downwards and made the god jump backwards just in time for the CCG officer to only draw blood. "DIE!" Suzuya screamed. " _Go to Hell, God,_ BURN IN HELL!"

"Hey, Suzu-chan," uttered Izaya as Yato lopped off one of Suzuya's legs by the knee. "Do you think the world will end in fire, or in ice?" The albino caught himself with the butt of his scythe, regaining his balance before he released another battle cry as the scythe came down on Yato again. The god swiped it away with increasing ease. "What do you think, Yato-kun…?"

In the midst of battle, he went unheard. He found it interestingly… _nice_ to be fighting alongside someone like Suzuya, as wildly as he was behaving right now.

"You're fighting with too much emotion," Yato commented flatly as he deflected another of Suzuya's swipes, blocking Izaya all the while. "You're surprisingly strong even after losing your leg, but what difference does it make if you're not fighting effectively?" He knocked Suzuya backwards and turned to Izaya. "Troublesome." Rebounding off of a rock, Suzuya jumped at the God of Calamity whilst using the scythe for his leverage. His single red-slippered foot was aiming for Yato's head. Izaya was aiming to skewer him on the other side. Smiling, the god threw his sword into the air and caught Suzuya by the ankle, swinging him around and attempting to knock him into Izaya. The informant dodged, jumping onto a nearby rock while Suzuya's remaining leg was broken before he was tossed like a ragdoll to the side. Before Izaya could come down on him, he was gone, sword in hand.

All the informant could do was keep up with him, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. Rolling thunder surrounded them – the lightning would light the scene vividly for a split second before all went dark again and Izaya was left without any trace of night vision. _Look for his eyes. Predict his movements._

Out of the corner of his vision, Suzuya was using his scythe to get back onto his only leg, but the torn ligament and broken bones wouldn't allow him to move his weight. Yes, out of the corner of his vision, he watched Suzuya collapse. Try again. Collapse. _Persistent kid,_ he thought in approval, but it was distracted and distant. He needed to pay attention. If Yato disappeared from in front of him, then—behind him!

Izaya whirled around to empty black. _Did he close his eyes to throw me off? No—_ Izaya looked up to a lightning-stricken sky, and Yato was waiting for him. Izaya just barely raised his sword in time to block, but it sent him to the ground, the air knocked from his lungs. His head spun from the impact, and the next thing he knew the Prophet had been ripped from his grip and tossed to the side. The only thing he could get through his own head was the urgency of the situation he was in. _I could die here. I could die. That's inconvenient._ He flipped out his switchblade from his pocket and jabbed Yato in the gut with it, feeling it sinking into his abdomen. Izaya grimaced as Yato backed off and he rolled over, gasping for air he staggered to his feet. _Quick, I need to get that sword, or—_

"How does this feel, Izaya?" Yato's voice was behind him – Izaya whirled around and swiped at nothing. He clicked his tongue. "Your teammates can't help you right now. The first one is dead, and the other is…" – Yato smiled cruelly – "… _incapacitated._ Can you fight for yourself?"

Izaya took a step back, one step closer to the Prophet. His switchblade was gripped tightly in his hand, pointing to the God of Calamity. He was smiling, or at least he thought he was. He chuckled drily, taking another step backwards. "You're hardly being fair, Yato-san…"

Calmly, Yato followed him, step for step. "I know you're headed for that precious sword of yours. It won't make much of a difference. The fact that you're going for it; the fact that you're still fighting… Well, it only says that you don't want to die."

"Alright, you caught me!" Izaya cried, and let out a bark of mirthless laughter. He spread the arm not holding his knife out. "So I don't want to die! I have a will to live! Call me a human – how _dastardly._ "

Yato smiled. The lightning flashed. "But you're not fighting for yourself, are you?"

Izaya's brow furrowed. "I'll be honest – I was expecting to be scolded for my selfishness. What's this, now, Yato-san?" He took another step. Yato followed suit.

"You aren't living, Izaya. You do nothing but live vicariously through other people, don't you? You take pleasure in watching people instead of experiencing things yourself."

"I can admit that I take pleasure in watching people," said Izaya, "but I've had my fair share of experience—"

"No, you haven't," Yato cut him off, taking a threatening step and making Izaya back up two paces. The thunder rolled. "That's not the kind of experience I'm talking about. Izaya, you find your happiness through the experiences of other people. In your realm, I'm almost positive that I wouldn't find you on the front line but behind the scenes… isn't that right?"

"What's wrong with being behind the scenes?"

"You don't appreciate what it means to be alive at all," Yato said lowly. "Otherwise you would have been utterly devastated when Shizuo died. Your heart would have ached for Psyche and Tsuki. It would have killed you to not have stopped Yoh Takami from killing Yukine, having known exactly what that plot was. You can keep your knife at hand even in bed, but that doesn't mean you're fighting for yourself – it just means you're paranoid. Maybe you're so scared of death because you're nowhere near fulfilled here in life. You don't know _how_ to live for yourself. You could tell me all sorts of things about me, couldn't you? You could analyze me down to the core of my uncertain existence, couldn't you? So then, what could you tell me about Izaya Orihara?"

Izaya's eyes narrowed.

"Well?" asked Yato. He paused. "What can you tell me about yourself? Is there anything to be said? It's not so hard to read you, after all. But Izaya Orihara is not living. He's using other people to be alive."

Izaya made a move to grab the Prophet under the light of the electricity above, and suddenly his hand was impaled, Nora piercing through his palm and into the ground. Yato had him pinned. A pained sound escaped him, but then Yato's free hand was at his throat. Nora was pulled from the informant's hand, and Yato lifted Izaya by the neck. His vision fading, the rolling thunder sounded so far-off, like an avalanche somewhere in the realm of his prefrontal cortex, or maybe his occipital lobe. He couldn't tell.

Without expression, Yato put Nora in the ground and ground his fist into Izaya's gut, sending the informant flying backwards into the nearest tree. He couldn't help but vomit red, his insides screaming in protest to Yato's violation of equilibrium. Yato didn't even permit him the chance to purge his own insides, gripping his neck and pinning him to the tree, now, blood still oozing from his parted lips. For a moment Izaya's consciousness slipped, but then he was back, still struggling to breathe – he was trying to keep up with everything that was happening to him, but it was becoming alarmingly difficult.

In an attempt to cut Yato with his switchblade, he found it being pulled from his hand thrown irately to the ground. "You think you don't need other people," said Yato. "You're wrong." He dropped the informant, and Izaya slumped to the ground, blood rushing back into his head at last. He was breathing hard with his bad hand clutching at his stomach, trying not to choke, trying not to vomit. He used his good hand to try and wipe at his mouth, running with blood. The iron was smothering his taste buds. "You're starving for the love of humanity, right? You've said it yourself. And to be so selfish while not even understanding the worth of life…"

"You—" A cough cut Izaya off, but clearing his throat, he tried again. "You—don't seem… to take life too seriously, now, do you? Yato-san."

Yato's gaze merely pierced him, impassive. Izaya wondered when that look had become so distant.

"Hey, Yato-san, is this _really_ what you wanted to do?" Izaya smirked weakly, his teeth stained red. "You were so mad at me for being a monster, right? And yet here you are with blood on your hands… Can you really call this justice? How many people have you killed?"

"More than you," Yato answered flatly, pointing his sword at him. "But you're a human; you can sin. I'm God; I can do as I please."

"That being said, I've never _actually_ ki—"

" **Shut up.** "

Izaya closed his mouth, smiling thinly.

"I think I've made my point well enough. Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"Aw, you're even giving me _last words?_ " he asked in mock appreciation, and Yato lifted his sword, eyes burning. Izaya backpedaled immediately. "No, _really_ , Yato, is this what you want? I'm the last living member of your original team! Does that mean anything to you? I just want to end this game, is that so wrong?"

"Then why did you let Yukine die?"

Izaya stared into his unmerciful face, lost for words. He didn't have an answer. "I don't know," he said. His voice sounded pitiful to his own ears.

"I see." He raised his weapon.

"Wait, Yato-san! You could use that rage for good! We could still end the game!"

"Goodbye, Izaya." His voice was hollow – it resounded in Izaya's head like a death knell.

The informant wanted to dodge. Could he block it? Where had his switchblade gone? Fear gripped him, its cold hands holding him in place. _I don't want to die._ His wide eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to cover his head and chest with his arms, bracing himself for the final blow. He was possessed with the terrifying thought of where he may go when it was over. Would he cease to exist? He wouldn't mind going to Hell so long as he knew that at one time, he had lived…

He heard wet footsteps, slow and calm. It had been more than a second or two, now. Cautiously lowering his arms, he looked to see Yato walking away from him. He released the breath he didn't know he was holding. Yato… wasn't going to kill him? He was filled with a dizzying sensation, and had to stop himself from tittering.

Yato stopped walking, and Izaya stiffened. "I'm not going to kill you," the god said to him. "That would be too pleasant an end to your life. In this game, death is an escape from this ridiculousness. Here, dying is a gift. I hope your teammates find peace." A pause. "All of them," he added. "Celty, too." He looked back at Izaya with a terrible smile, lit momentarily by the sky. "I've performed my specialty on you, Izaya. Let's see how you fare with all of your ties severed." He tilted his head, closing his eyes. "Bye, now," he grinned, and disappeared with the rolling thunder, leaving Izaya alone with the immobile Suzuya and the deceased Twelve.

Breathing a long and quavering sigh, Izaya leaned back on the tree behind him, body shaking as he settled in the calm after the storm.

* * *

A-ya jerked into consciousness to find a black sky looming over him. Immediately he checked his surroundings – alright, he hadn't moved after all. But what time was it? How long had he slept? He hadn't meant to—

 **It's only been twenty-six minutes.**

A-ya got to his feet. Was that so? Ah, that wasn't so bad… "I should return to the others, then," he said, mostly to himself. _It's so dark…_

 **It's a storm. Have you yet noticed that you're soaked?**

 _I hadn't,_ he admitted, turning his back to where Yukiteru had left and returning to the thin trees. He walked slowly, feeling oddly placid. He looked at the thin canopy in idle reverence. Spending so much time among the trees in this game, he'd begun to find it strange that there didn't seem to be a single living creature besides the players themselves. No squirrels… not even birds. None of it. And yet, here stood all these trees, living in this terrible dome. If they could speak, he wondered, what would they have to say about all of this?

 **You have strange musings, Loner.**

 _At least I'm musing about life rather instead of death, Serpent._

 **What's the difference?**

A-ya smiled.

He did take his sweet time meandering through the underbrush. He supposed he'd have to find a better shelter for all of them, as he was sure nobody wanted to sleep out in the rain. Worst case scenario, they would head over to the shopping district again.

A-ya felt like something had ripped from his insides; he figured it had to do with Yukiteru. Yet this hollowed-out feeling was somehow refreshing. He felt unconcerned – he didn't feel a thing. Thank goodness he'd passed out like he did, too! His senses were sharp again… He actually felt _awake_.

 **Your awareness has improved by 54%,** the serpent confirmed in approval. **Of course, you can't stay awake forever…**

 _I need to sleep again soon,_ A-ya agreed. _And I'll do that as long as you don't do anything too rash._

 **Oh, of course not, Loner.** A soothing tone.

A-ya couldn't help but laugh. "Using a voice like that, I don't know if I can trust you!"

 **Could you ever?**

"Ah, who knows…?"

The longer he walked, the more Kuroha's presence swallowed his insides. He felt like he'd learned the meaning of the word _vessel_. The thought of being unable to recognize himself in the mirror recurred to him, and he crossed his arms over his chest uncomfortably. It was a muted discomfort. He imagined being split open like Twelve only to find that he didn't have any insides to spill. He thought that perhaps it should disconcert him a little more than it did.

It was incredibly quiet when he drew closer to the clearing where the rocks were situated. He felt the serpent stirring in impassive curiosity. A-ya wondered if he should be worried. A-ya wondered why they were so quiet. A-ya wondered why he felt alright with this.

When the trees broke and he found himself in their little gathering place, the first thing he saw was Twelve's body, lying still. He had been pulled into the broken lap of Suzuya, who had closed the lids of the terrorist's eyes. He approached them devoid of expression. Suzuya stirred, and looked up at A-ya with the same blank look. His white hair was messier than was usual, dripping with the pouring rain. A few of his red hairclips were missing. He just stared up at A-ya with nothing to say. What _could_ he say?

A-ya gazed at him quietly, then looked at the ground around them, picking up his discarded cape, now downtrodden, muddy, and soaked. Then he picked up what he presumed was Suzuya's lower leg. Returning to his teammates, he moved Twelve off of Suzuya's lap and to the ground, draping his cape over Twelve as a shroud of sorts. A-ya noted that the cape was black once more.

After this was done, he looked to Suzuya. "Can you get up?" he asked. The officer's head was bowed again, and he didn't so much as stir in answer. He was holding his scythe up at his side, though, so A-ya knew he wasn't unconscious. Or dead.

The dark-clad boy looked at Suzuya's legs, one pooling blood that looked black to his night vision and the other twisted at an odd angle.

"You can't get up, can you?" he asked. He recognized that he sounded perhaps a bit more monotone than even was normal for him. Suzuya didn't answer. "You're not going to answer me, are you?" There was nothing to be said. A-ya straightened up, his serpentine eyes flickering luminescent scarlet. " **Oh, well,** " he said together with his possessor. " **I suppose there's no use for you anymore, either.** " He tilted his head, eyes narrowing just slightly. " **With wounds like that, there's no helping, is there?** And I know that look in your eye…" He paused, then raised his hand. "Goodnight, Suzuya," he said softly, and they ended him with a swift blow to the chest. The scythe fell with a clatter into the rock behind it. A-ya's mouth smiled, if slightly.

 **He tried to slice us,** the serpent commented in amusement. **Perhaps he wasn't done yet, after all!**

 _But I guess that was the only option… That's it, isn't it?_ He looked to the abyss of sky. _I'm alone._

 **Mm, behind you, Loner.**

"Eh?" Dully, he turned around to see a figure slumped by a tree at the other end of the clearing. He seemed to be laughing, holding his abdomen with blood running down his chin. A-ya approached.

"Ah, A-ya-kun…," he said. "You missed the most—the most _terrible_ show… I must admit, I'm a tad bit ashamed of myself, here! Pretty pitiful—ah… What will you do, now?"

"Who are you," A-ya asked him flatly, his eyes unrelentingly cold. They narrowed just slightly. "And how do you know my name?"

 **Loner, what are you going on about?**

 _I've never seen this person before._

 **Is that… so…**

 **Interesting.**

"Oh, come now, A-ya-kun, what are you saying?" asked the man. "I'm your teammate, of course!"

"I don't know who you are," A-ya reiterated lowly, and the informant stared at A-ya with wide eyes. He laughed with a hitch.

"You can't just _forget_ about me, A-ya-kun—don't you remember? I was the first to follow you when you split off!"

"That was Twelve."

"I was there when you killed Roy Mustang!" he insisted, sounding more desperate with every word. "You and Rika-chan and I—we—"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said dismissively, and the despairing one began to struggle to get to his feet.

"Y-you're kidding! This is has got to be joke! You can't just say something like that… There's no way…!"

"Ah… is he lying…?"

 **To call him a lie would be fraudulent, but to call him a truth would be blasphemous. This one's just a fool.** A-ya could feel the serpent's smile in his psyche.

The stranger seemed angry now, suddenly gripping at A-ya's black vest and yanking him closer. "You can't forget me—I'm Izaya Orihara, remember?! We started a rumor together – that's right, you and I are one and the same! And that's why—"

" **Get off me,** " they frowned, pushing him away and sending him to the ground. Izaya went to his hands and knees, covering his mouth. Seemed his insides were trying to get him to spew red. "Kuroha," A-ya mused aloud, "should I kill him?"

Izaya froze. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be. It couldn't be happening, no, this was insane, this couldn't—

" _No, we'll leave him be._ " Izaya looked up into a face contorted into a grin, glowing red eyes looking down at him. " _This soul may grow ripe yet for tragedy. This could be fun._ " They laughed, and turned to listen to the distant sounds of some kind of skirmish. That smirk twisted his mouth. " **We might as well join the show,** " they remarked, and gave a distorted chuckle before running off towards the noise.

Izaya tried to grab at him too late, grasping at thin air. He was certain that it was the demon sneering at him at the end. He was certain there was recognition. "That… fucking— _bastard!_ " He slammed his fist into the ground. A new horror began crawling beneath his skin. He couldn't stand it. What had Yato _done_?

" _God damn it,_ " he hissed, curling forward with the top of his head resting on the ground.

The clearing was deathly silent. His muscles began to relax. "It's too—quiet," he said to nobody. "…Twelve, won't you talk?" he murmured, and laid there in the downpour with nothing else to say.


	38. Underdogs

**Sorry again for the day-late update! I am truly trying to keep up with the weekly schedule! In any case, I hope you enjoy~**

* * *

Roppi stood firmly before the building that Seidou was perched on, looking up at him and into the rain. _I've always loved the rain…_ Hands in his pockets, he gave the Harrowing Blade a squeeze, maybe just to reassure himself that it was still there. Then he spread his arms wide, hands free. "Are you coming down here, or what?" he asked the wind. He didn't know whether his voice could reach Seidou's ears, but it was worth a try. It must have done something, because here was Seidou, jumping from his perch and landing with knees bent. His hood was up, white strands falling and framing the lower half of his face. His eyes were overcast; Roppi couldn't see what expression he was making. All he had to go on was the perpetual frown of his black-dyed mouth. "I swear to god, Seidou…," he began drily, his mouth twisting in that sarcastic smirk. He eyed the _ahoge_ that stuck up despite the hood he wore. "That freaking piece of hair on your head – I can't take you seriously."

Seidou raised his head just enough for Roppi to make out an expression of skepticism. " **Don't mock me,** " the half-ghoul said lowly.

Roppi swallowed. He noted the shifting of Seidou's position, barefooted on the ground. Preparing to charge? Probably. Maybe that wasn't the best way to start this off. "Look, I'm not planning on fighting you… See, I don't have my machine gun, either." He held out the palms of his hands to present this fact.

Seidou's countenance didn't change. " **Then what do you want.** " He spoke through bared teeth.

A breathy laugh answered him. "Well…," Roppi began. He drew his lips into a thin line. "I think it's about time this stupid-ass sardonicism of yours came to an end. I'm a fan of Poe, not Shakespeare… and god damn it, let me tell you—I'm fucking _sick_ of tragedy." He felt his words come more easily, his purpose surer. "So let's get rid of the parts we play for second, okay, Seidou? Let's play improv."

" **What are you talking about?** " he growled, cautious.

"I know you don't want to be where you are, and I don't want you to be where you are, either…" Slowly, Roppi began shifting backwards. "None of us do."

" **What are you doing.** "

Roppi stopped, planting his feet on the ground. "Saving _your_ doomed ass." He spread his arms. "Seidou Takizawa was miffed with Kaneki just for _existing_ nearby! How would he feel if he became a ghoul like _you_ did?"

Seidou's eyes narrowed.

"But right, isn't it that you said that you _weren't Seidou Takizawa?_ "

" **I'm not—** _ **your**_ **Seidou Takizawa,** " he reiterated, a halting confirmation.

"Well I'm not going to buy for a _moment_ that you were _ever_ okay with everything that _you're doing_ now. Right?"

" **If you become—** "

"Yeah, yeah," Roppi waved him off. "You gave me your whole spiel."

" _ **Don't cut me off,**_ " he hissed.

Roppi raised his hands up, a smile smeared over his face. "Sorry. Well, not really. I'm going to be brutally honest here. Forgive me." He reached his hands into his pockets, a casual gesture. His fingers wrapped around the Harrowing Blade concealed there. It was cold to the touch. The rain was thick. It felt good; it helped cool his mind. He felt clean; it was a good hour, a good scene. He closed his eyes, a preparatory impulse. "Look. You've literally told me how much you love this situation… and how much you despise it, in the same conversation."

" **I don't need you to tell me about me. You're wasting your breath. I know you're just stalling.** "

Roppi smiled a lopsided smile. "Maybe I am," he admitted, and took a wary step back as Seidou took a step forward. His posture was firmly confident in the face of the dangers Seidou's presence posed. "But Seidou could _not_ get over the idea of ghouls as a human. And what did he do to Akira?"

The half-ghoul drew back, as though suddenly unsure of his bitter fury.

"He couldn't look at her, could he? What did he do, other than lose his teammates one by one? One had—died…" His red-eyed gaze drifted away only to return to his former team leader. "Another was a fucking asshole and ran off, right, Seidou? And then the third was just a dumbass trying to save the former. I bet Seidou was pretty pissed. Was he?"

" **He was,** " Seidou bit out.

"And he was also worried, wasn't he?"

Seidou didn't answer.

"Because, after all, he wanted to look at Akira, too, didn't he?"

His pallid eyes narrowed further, his posture stiff.

"Just like how underneath that confident act, Seidou really had an inferiority complex that—"

" **I don't want you** _ **speaking**_ **about me,** " he spat, and Roppi frowned. " **You don't know a THING about—** "

" _Because I'm the strong one,_ right?!" Roppi raised his voice above Seidou's distorted tones, above the wind, above the rain. Above his doubt, above all the guards he'd built around himself. " _I_ never cry; _I_ never needed _anyone_ because I couldn't give a single _shit_ about anyone else—because everyone is nothing but filthy scum, and so am I! _I_ didn't care what happened to Seidou or Shintaro; I just wanted other people to die! Why?"

Seidou didn't seem to know where he was going with this.

"Because really, I'm the weakest of them all, right?" he smiled faintly, and Seidou began to deflate. "Because I'm the one who cries himself to sleep at night. Because I'm the one who needs someone – _anyone_ – more than anyone else because I'm too fucking pitiful to take care of myself. Because it wasn't that I wanted everyone else to die, it was because _I wanted to die._ Because I didn't want to lose anyone else. Because losing someone to death again was so terrifying that _I'd_ rather be the one taking lives."

The half-ghoul finally decided upon a response: a sneering smile spread over his darkened lips, eyes disdainful. " **Oh, bully for you, Ro~ppi. How cute. And what does that mean now?** "

"It means that both you and I have been acting the opposite of how we feel this whole damn time." The look in those eyes was one of earnest fire. Seidou just stared at him, his skepticism plain in his shadowed face. "You've gone through a lot of shit, Seidou, but you're not a ghoul. No matter what you go through, you're still Seidou Takizawa. Whatever Seidou Takizawa may be – I don't care what you've done or what you've been through, who you've eaten or who you hate… You're still the one that led us through this god-forsaken game, and you're still the one that _tried his best_ despite everything. Open your goddamn _eyes_ , Seidou!" Roppi spread his arms again. "I _give a shit!_ And that's saying something, isn't it? All of us, we really… We fucking _care_ about you, so stop being such an asshole and actually _listen!_ "

Seidou scoffed, unconvinced. " **Then what, exactly, were you doing with the rest of your group, huh? What's the** _ **real**_ **plot here? What part are you** _ **really**_ **playing? I'm very good at playing 'ghoul,' just you watch.** " He lowered his center of gravity, his mouth twisted into a smile-grimace. " **Because I'm NOT the same, I HAVE changed, and do you know how? You know HOW, Roppi? Huh?! Because like THIS, when I'm LIKE THIS, I'm not a FAILURE,** _ **right?!**_ "

"I beg to differ," Roppi answered drily, backing up a few paces. He turned slightly, slipping his hand back into his pocket. Hidden from Seidou's view, he clutched again at the Harrowing Blade.

" **Of** _ **course**_ **you do!** " he exclaimed. " **What are they waiting for, over there?! What's this about, actually? Why aren't you saying? Huh?** _ **Huh?**_ **You're not here to chat—you're here to KILL ME,** _ **aren't you?**_ "

"On the contrary," Roppi smiled, "we're trying to save you." In his pocket, he flicked out the blade. Here it was; the moment was coming… Roppi felt his mouth go dry again. He thought distantly of all the street fights he used to get into, but now all of those foolish antics seemed so arbitrary. He wished that he could apologize to Tsuki for doing such stupid things all the time. He wished he could apologize to him for harming himself, for hating himself. For hating Tsuki, sometimes, too, but not actually hating him. He wanted to apologize for being as cruel as he was – to Tsuki, to Shintaro, to Kaneki, to Psyche… to Seidou. He wondered if maybe saving somebody could make up for that, too. He wondered if anything could make up for that. He conjectured that maybe sins can't be atoned for; you just bear them on your back and keep on keeping on, hoping that somehow you can become a better person through it all. He hoped he was getting there.

" _ **Save me?**_ " Seidou repeated to him, and erupted in harsh cackling. He opened his arms to Roppi in turn, his eyes wide and somehow despairing. " **How?** "

"We'll just have to find out," Roppi told him with sincerely apologetic tones, and he jumped on the chance, lashing out at Seidou with the Harrowing Blade and succeeding in clipping on the cheek, his pale skin contrasting with the gradual drip of crimson.

" **Do you really think—that a little knife…** could…?" Seidou paused, a tremor running through his body and releasing in a hunched-over posture. He brought his thin fingers to his cheek, hands trembling just slightly in something that could easily have been disbelief. " _What the hell…_ "

Roppi began to backtrack towards where the others were waiting. "Seidou, we've gotta do this for a second… I just… want you back, at least…"

"Did you _really_ think that cutting my _fucking face_ was gonna help?!" Seidou snapped, his eyes wild. "You've always been nothing but a piece of SHIT; why should I believe YOU, of ALL PEOPLE, when you're the one who never paid a lick of attention to ME?!" Seidou took a step forward. Roppi backed up a little bit faster. "TELL ME, Roppi, when YOU'RE the one who ran away from us! WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE ANY OF YOU?! I'd rather kill every last one of you—!"

" _Every_ one of us?" Roppi cut in. "Me? Kaneki? Shintaro—?"

Seidou brought his hands over his eyes. "I've ALWAYS hated Shintaro! That spineless _prick_ was nothing but one of those straight-A motherfuckers who never gives a SHIT. He DROPPED OUT when he was the best of the best! _You can't get more careless than that!_ " Suddenly his tone dropped. It seemed that the temperature did, too. " _You_ don't know… _he_ doesn't know… the difference between a 99… and a 100. It is not a—one point gap… It's the _difference_ between a success… and a failure." And just as quick, he snapped back: "I WAS A FAILURE, ROPPI. And I'm fucking _SICK_ of it! I'm sick of it! Sick! Sick! Sick!" He dragged his hands down his face. "Sick… I hope he wants to die. I hope _you_ want to die. I hope you both fall into the deepest pits of self-loathing, and then I hope you live long enough to SUFFER that… I hope that even then, neither of you have the GUTS to actually DIE—yeah, yeah, you're right, you were right, Roppi, that's right, because _I know_ and _you know_ that a lot a lot a lot of SHIT HAPPENED but HEY, WHO GIVES A SHIT ANYWAY?! _Why do you care?!_ YOU DON'T. You – and everyone else – just wants to get rid of another fucking INCONVENIENCE that is ME; it's ME; it's ME and I'm PROUD OF IT, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! At least that means I did SOMETHING right, even if it's being wrong! Right? RIGHT?!"

"Seidou, that's not true—!"

"SHUT _UP_!" Seidou screamed, his clenched fists held at his sides. Roppi was struck with the image of a child throwing a tantrum, and almost laughed before he was grabbed by the shoulders and flung into the nearest building. He thought he heard a door opening somewhere and wondered if maybe that was Akira following her cue.

Somehow he still found himself laughing. _This,_ he thought mildly, _is where shit gets real, huh?_

Among the trees, Konoha and Shintaro were huddled amongst the underbrush. Kaneki had already headed to the midpoint between the safe group and the action group, and Shirou was already stationed in the building. It was him who was to give Akira the signal – right now the officer was waiting in the building with him, just on a lower floor. They were in one of those tall rooms with a spiral staircase going up and up – they could communicate with one another alright despite the fact they were on different floors.

Shintaro watched the scene unfold with bated breath. Back when Roppi and Seidou were just talking, he kept mumbling to himself, hoping all was well. It was strange to see him – Seidou, that is… like a wraith in the rain. Strangely, he recalled a legend told by his late father, in which one may hear a ghost train's whistle blowing only in the midst of a heavy storm. The rain was coming down in sheets, now, and staring intently at Roppi and Seidou, he idly thought about where the train may lead. He wondered whether Seidou had been there. Maybe Kaneki had, too. Maybe it was beyond him. Of course it was.

"You talk to yourself a lot," Konoha murmured to him, and Shintaro stiffened, face flushing in embarrassment.

"I'm worried," he admitted, just as quiet.

"I am also scared," Konoha had agreed.

But as the scene continued and they huddled there pressed to the trunk of a tree and peering around it in an almost comical fashion, Shintaro began to feel his android friend trembling at his side. "Mm?" He turned to Konoha, concerned. The albino's eyes were wide and troubled. "Wh… what is it?"

"Two people are gone," Konoha said faintly.

"Gone? Like… what do you…?"

The look on his friend's face told him that they were dead. "Someone's coming closer… Th… _that person_ is… coming closer…"

"Closer? How much closer?" Shintaro pressed. "We've gotta let everyone know…"

"Yes, that… is a good idea," Konoha confirmed nervously. "It's good. That's good."

"How close?" Shintaro repeated.

"He…" Konoha's eyes hazed over for a moment, and then Shintaro found himself with his back slammed to the wet ground, Konoha overtop him.

"Ow…" He grimaced, his back already feeling the bruise that would inevitably form. "What…" He looked to where Konoha was looking only to find that creepy kid who'd played hide-and-seek with them, crouching there without a cape now, just red eyes and a terrible smile. A-ya was his name, yeah… and he was possessed by…

" _Ah, Recorder,_ " the boy grinned in hissing tones. " _Seems that the vessel protected you this time. How nice._ " As A-ya straightened, so too did Konoha stand.

Shintaro struggled to sit up, horrified. _No way, we can't afford anything like this…!_

A-ya shrugged. " **I almost kicked you right in the head,** " he said in two voices. What a creepy little trick. " **You should be grateful. You'd be dead so easy if it weren't for him.** _Not that I want to kill you so quick this time._ Not that I want to kill you at all, really. **But that's a matter of preference,** " they said, and laughed.

"You can't hurt Shintaro," Konoha said firmly, taking a protective step in front of the red-jerseyed one.

" **Oh? Why not?** "

"Because I won't let you," he said, and the other one laughed.

 _This guy,_ Shintaro thought, amazedly staring at his albino friend. Everyone else was so damned impressive! Why was he so lame? "Kh…Konoha," he spoke up, and realized how weak he sounded. He tried again. " _Konoha_ , if you fight this guy—you might…"

"…become somebody else again?" Konoha finished solemnly. "I don't want that," he admitted. "But I want to protect you, now. Because I _can_ protect you… Do you understand this?"

"I… yeah…"

A-ya sighed heavily, looking to the rain-drenched canopy above. "What is it… to 'protect' someone? **Mm… I guess it doesn't matter…** "

Shintaro thought about how cool it was to see scarlet and watermelon orbs both hovering in the dark as the dark-clad one attacked. Then he mentally scolded himself for being an idiot and scrambled to find the walkie-talkie in the dark – he'd dropped it when Konoha had pushed him to the ground. Upon finding it, he activated it without hesitation, opened his mouth, closed it, and turned it off. _What do I say?_ He tried again. "We have—um, interference over here. It's—the snake demon. Konoha's fighting him right now."

He released the button, hoping and praying that it would work like it was supposed to.

" _Do we halt the plan?"_ Shirou's voice.

" _Is he away from Roppi and Seidou?"_ Kaneki, serious and firm.

His steady voice brought Shintaro some relief. "He's not involved right now—Konoha's got him distracted for now. Right now he wants my head, but at this point I think he'd be happy with killing anyone…"

" _Do you need help down there?"_ Shirou.

" _Should we intervene?"_ Shinichi.

" _Nobody leave their stations,"_ Kaneki ordered.

" _Roger,"_ said Shirou.

"… _Roger,"_ said Shinichi.

" _Shintaro,"_ said Kaneki, _"I'm on my way to you right now. I'll help Konoha. Is the plan already under way?"_

Shintaro peered through the haze of rain and the cover of darkness. "I think Seidou's just been harrowed—I don't…"

" _Then we'll keep going. Keep A-ya away from them as best you can. I will be there as soon as possible."_

"O-okay," said the NEET, and he listened to the line go silent. With a gulp, he braced himself for a lot more of stress on top of stress as he shakily grabbed Roppi's machine gun, eyeing Konoha and A-ya staring each other down while keeping an ear out for Seidou's screams.

Roppi, on the other hand, could only hear ringing now, using the wall as support, getting to his feet and watching as Seidou appeared in front of him. The annoying ringing in his ears thankfully dimmed. "Really, though," the bitter one chuckled weakly, "even though you were slightly dickish, you weren't that bad of a guy. You were no failure – you were just being human. Humans make mistakes, right? Like you're making now?"

"You have _no—fucking—clue,_ " Seidou growled, acid on his tongue. "I wasn't so great. I wasn't a _good guy._ You know it. YOU KNOW IT."

"You don't understand…" Roppi smiled a weary smile. "I want… to thank you, Seidou."

"Why thank me?" he asked, derisive. "Why thank me? Why? Because I make you look good? DON'T MOCK ME, DAMN IT." With Seidou grasping at his neck, Roppi found that he'd lost his grip on the Harrowing Blade. He'd begin to lose grip on consciousness, too, if Seidou kept this up.

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked, and watched through bleary, rain-soaked eyes. "Is that what you're going to do? Go ahead and do it, Seidou. Go ahead and do it. I've stared death in the face all these years; why should I shy away from it now? Even though…" Roppi didn't think that rain often was so warm, nor did he recall it tasting of salt. "…Isn't it strange? Maybe… I don't want to die after all."

Seidou's icy grip tightened around Roppi's neck, but his eyes widened, certainty flickering there. "… _I_ …"

A strong, cool voice pierced the half-ghoul straight through his rib cage: " _Takizawa, put him down!_ "

The half-ghoul turned to her – Akira stood with her pale hair plastered to either side of her face. Her quinque was grasped firmly at her side, and Seidou's gaze skipped over her face and to her weapon, his eyes filling with further outrage. Roppi was dropped carelessly to the ground, where he held his throat tenderly and watched as Seidou began approaching Akira. Would this work? He really, really hoped so. He envisioned him leaping to her and decapitating her; he envisioned her putting him out of his misery once and for all. Keeping his red eyes set on the two facing each other, he berated his train of thought and wished he'd stop thinking about the more negative of outcomes.

"You ARE planning to kill me," he growled. "What the fuck? What did _I_ do? Huh? HUH?"

"I'm using this," Akira answered calmly, "as a mechanism of defense… not offense."

"I don't believe you," Seidou said flatly, taking a step back. "Why should I? Huh, Mado? You weapon-obsessed, asexual _bitch_ …!"

She seemed unfazed by the insult. "Don't you understand? Takizawa…"

" _Don't talk to me like that,_ " he bit out. "I'm not an idiot. What is there to understand?"

Her brow was creased. He noticed that much. "That it wasn't that I wanted you to die. That's the last thing I wanted… I…" She hesitated, searching for words. He narrowed his eyes, never looking at her directly. He allowed the darkness and the rain to shroud his vision. "It was never that I didn't like you, Takizawa. From the beginning… there was something about you that I envied."

Another step back. Incredulousness. "What could you _possibly_ have to envy about me?!" he snapped.

He couldn't help but spot the smile that crossed her mouth, and, unwillingly, his eyes met hers in the dark. Lightning illuminated their features just long enough for her face to be burnt into his empty eyes. "Takizawa," she said, and to his surprise, she began approaching him, gently setting her quinque on the rain-soaked ground. "Day by day, throughout the academy, I blew through all of our classes. You know this… But I never really saw it as anything like an accomplishment. Why should I, if I didn't need to put effort into it? That isn't what's worth it. It never has been. It's hard work that deserves respect, and really…" She paused, gathering her thoughts. Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. How could she compartmentalize this anymore? "Never once have I known what to do with any one of my beliefs. And so… always… I've admired your passion."

There was a momentary pause. His lids widened. "…My…?"

What was that? Previous frustrations of underserving heroes simmered somewhere within the ice of his insides. She continued approaching. He took another step back. She stopped. So did he. "Knowing that you would spend hours in the library, studying so earnestly… Knowing how much you cared for the cause you fought for—yes, the fact that you were fighting so hard at all… It all struck me as honorable. Everything you did, you did it because you thought it was right." She paused again, and the lightest laugh escaped her, nostalgic and leaden with something he couldn't identify. He didn't think he'd ever heard such a thing escape her – no… There was once, when she had said the words, 'you don't know how happy I am to see you.' Was that really what she said, there, in the hospital?

"Well, when you were bickering with me, I wouldn't call that motivation 'justice.' That was something altogether different… wasn't it?" He hated the gentle face she was making. "I was almost frightened that you really did hate me, Takizawa… But before this happened to you… here, in this game, that is… Though years apart, I like to think that we communicated just a little bit better. Because… you told me you were happy to work with me, didn't you? You told me that the game of one-up you try so hard at… You said it was fun. And for you to say you were thankful for my position as your obstacle to overcome… I can't help but say I'm thankful for you, too. The truth is that… after you went missing, you don't know how much I missed you – you and Amon both. If I could just—get through to you somehow… I'd… I'd want you back."

"You're lying," he said through withered lips. She must have been unable to hear him, because she did not respond. Maybe she did hear him, but didn't know how to prove her own words, because how could anyone prove something so purely rooted in emotion, something so deeply abstract? And of course, it was Akira Mado, and Akira Mado didn't know how to _do_ emotion. No, this couldn't have been, could it? Because Akira Mado was everything he wasn't, and for him to have been so jealous of her successes, there was no way that _she…_ could experience envy towards _him_ , who was never… not ever, enough.

"Please," she said. But he couldn't hear her anymore, either.

In the underbrush of the forest, Shintaro watched Konoha drop a tree over the dark-clad demon just in time. The android, knowing full well that it would only slow down the enemy, dropped to one knee, clutching at his abdomen and breathing hard. Shintaro could imagine blood blossoming on his lower torso, but could only make out something like a black splotch there in the dark. Swallowing, Shintaro pointed the machine gun at the branches of the fallen tree, witnessing the emergence of the possessed kid. It reminded him of a demon crawling out of hell, or some boss respawning after the first stage of the final battle. The shut-in felt a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, as heavy as the machine gun in his lap.

This was _so_ not a video game.

He closed his eyes. "Think of it like a first-person shooter," he told himself under his breath, the gun trembling with his clammy hands. Or maybe it was the rain. He liked to think it was the rain. "Pretend it _is_ just a video game…" _My friend is risking his_ life _for me… I have to help him out…_ The shut-in felt that it surely had been far too long since he had made contact with Kaneki, but cognitively he knew that somehow, it had only been thirty seconds or so.

Konoha's watermelon orbs were tired and worn as they looked up at the already-recovered serpentine enemy. The dark-clad demon seemed to smile down at him, but that could have been Shintaro's imagination. "Don't hurt him, either…," he breathed, and screwed his eyes shut against the saturated air. He inhaled deeply. " _Don't hurt Konoha, either!_ " he shouted, and he saw both pairs of luminescent orbs look to him. "D-don't test me!" Speaking so boldly, he felt just bold enough to cock the gun, and did so. "I—just because I'm a shut-in doesn't mean I can't take you down!"

That low chuckle sent shivers down his spine. " _What was that?_ " asked the serpent, and Shintaro felt sure that this was what it would feel like for one's blood vessels to freeze over.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled pitifully, and laughter erupted in both voices.

" _So you've learned to talk for yourself, but you still can't do a thing!_ " And he cackled. " **This game will begin again; maybe you'll do better next time.** " He shrugged with an air of offhanded apology. " **But in order for the game to reset; in order for the game to** _ **move**_ **, people need to** _ **die**_ **. But you understand that by now, don't you?** "

Anger struck him. He couldn't speak. He could not put this rage into words. How could he?

Konoha was at his feet, a look of diligence shining there in his pink eyes. Lightning illuminated the scene and burned the image into Shintaro's photographic memory. It was like a flash from a picture frame—and he hated it; he hated it because he knew that it ruined what little night vision he had acquired, and he hated it because the lightning had a kind of reddish quality to it and that meant this kid might be contributing to it, and he hated it because that meant it was a blaspheme of the color of heroes, and god _damn_ it, he was sick of all this overthinking…!

But he didn't think at all when Konoha widened his stance to brace himself and the dark-clad demon began to crouch, ready to pounce and maybe fry Konoha's android self with the lightning… No, he didn't think at all when he pulled the trigger and felt the surprising kick of the firearm, the spurts of light from the gunpowder blinding him further. He quickly stopped, appalled with the sheer loudness, and the way it hurt, kicking back into the crook of his elbow – he could barely hold the thing in the first place. But most of all he was appalled that he had pulled the trigger himself, that he had actually done it.

And amazingly, it had stopped A-ya… the demon… whoever, in their tracks. Hissing in distaste, he fell into a protective crouch. As the lightning lit the sky again, he saw he was clutching at his arm where the bullets had found their mark. Shintaro also saw Konoha's look of flummoxed shock. He blinked with eyes that were likely as lost as Shintaro looked. Not that he could tell.

" _You little BRAT_ , I didn't think you could pull it off, really— **pull the trigger, that is—** _maybe you're interesting yet, Recorder—_ I bet you weren't even completely conscious of the action!" He laughed evermore. " _Cute! How cute!_ "

Konoha, who had lifted a heavy branch in the meantime, came down on the dark-clad one with brute strength, swinging it down with all his force. A-ya dodged, but the trunk he'd stood on split under the force.

Shintaro didn't want to shoot anymore. Not like this. Not in the dark. Not with Konoha so close. He thought he saw the dark-clad demon pause, cocking his head. " _The King is here,_ " he remarked, and bounded backwards as who could only be Kaneki descended from the canopy above, his six scaled appendages pointing towards the possessed one. The half-ghoul crashed down beside Konoha, and A-ya began to speak again. "After all, the evil hero—it was me…" They tittered. "I won't be the underdog anymore, right? That's—my underdog supremacy doctrine… **Hah?** " He dodged another quick attack from Kaneki and Konoha and, as A-ya crouched sideways against the tree he'd leapt to, everyone looked on in horror as he rebounded from his place and kicked off of the body of the tree, shooting right through all of them and into the fray of the confrontation of Seidou Takizawa.


	39. Belief

_The dark-clad demon dodged another quick attack from Kaneki and Konoha and, as A-ya crouched sideways against the tree he'd leapt to, everyone looked on in horror as he rebounded from his place and kicked off of the body of the tree, shooting right through all of them and into the fray of the confrontation of Seidou Takizawa._

And Seidou Takizawa the half-ghoul stood frozen in place as Akira approached again. He found himself paralyzed. He was on fire, and these weren't pleasant flames. He wondered whether the word 'shame' was applicable.

"Seeing you… ah, Takizawa, I'm… sad," she said. As if she should feel anything. As if she could understand _sad_. Did she know the meaning of _fear_? Did she know the meaning of _fear,_ no, _terror_? Her small hands almost reached up to him, he didn't know for what. He never wanted to think of the adjective 'gentle' when he looked at Akira Mado. In any case, she decided against the gesture.

"I know that you've suffered things that I couldn't imagine," she said. As if that made things any better. Seidou felt like he'd eaten cement. "But also…" She staggered, and at first Seidou couldn't imagine why her hands were pressed just below her rib cage, just like he couldn't imagine why it was that her eyes looked wetter than the rain.

The firmament's downpour finally slowed. The shower of her regret did not.

"Mad **o… What are y** ou… doing," he said. The cement had gotten caught in his esophagus, caking his larynx. It seemed to be solidifying in his lungs, too, because he found that he couldn't breathe.

Her lips were like crimson autumn leaves, trembling in the wind. "Do you know…?" she continued, curling her fingers tighter around something that was emerging there from beneath her rib cage. He didn't want to know that there was someone just behind her. With the placement of such assault, he felt as breathless as she. "I—won't… stop now. I need to say this much… Takizawa… because… You know… how many times, I thought of this…?" She was smiling at him. She was _smiling_ at him.

" **Stop,** " he ordered her faintly.

"What if… back then, I… had stopped you…?" she whispered. Her nails dug into the flesh of the hand that stabbed through her abdomen. She would not let go. 'You will not touch him,' her grip said.

Now he couldn't help but notice what was wrong with the picture. It stood out and throbbed in his vision, in his chest. He felt the cement straining to break, or maybe that was how it felt when cement dried inside of you. " **St…** o…"

But she persisted. "That night… when…"

And with a final crack and a sodden _splurch_ , the dark-clad hero yanked his arm from Akira's body, taking her insides with him and spraying red all over himself. Her front was intact save for the gaping hole in her gut. Seidou felt himself pressing pause. He took a deep breath, like his insides had become a vacuum. Empty. He was leaving himself in suspension.

Her face was still struck with unspoken pain, the regret that spilled over only now, with the rain.

A-ya's young face began to glow. Something deep in his eyes died just a little bit.

Roppi had scrambled to his feet, but the look on his face made it plain that he didn't know what he could do against a demon.

Akira fell limp into Seidou's arms; he felt her weight, holding her in such disbelief that he couldn't tell whether the deadweight was heavy or light. Maybe it was heavy in his mind but light in his arms. Maybe it was the cement that weighed so much. His eyes were trembling in his sockets. The cement had caught him; he was becoming a statue.

Seidou witnessed a serpentine sneer as A-ya cradled his wrist, now broken. He laughed lowly, teetering from one position to another on feet that seemed so unsteady. Seidou could not make out anything he was saying, nor could he quite process why Roppi got between him and the possessed, his arm outstretched to the side. Seidou could only process the haziness of his own vision, the throbbing of his head, the cement that asphyxiated him, the breath he was holding, and the incomprehensible feelings that were threatening to explode from somewhere he thought was dead.

All at once, he released his breath with a scream that shattered even the cement of his lungs: "I SAID _ST_ _ **OP IIIIT**_ **!** "

Roppi turned to him. His eyes were filled with something he didn't want to look at, but Seidou couldn't see him anymore anyway. "Sei—" Roppi began, and the half-ghoul beheaded him in one swipe, sending his cranium flying over to the edge of the forest beyond. Shrieking unintelligibly, he blindly lashed out at A-ya, too, only for the possessed one to swiftly move around him and begin sprinting away from everyone and into the city, his face touched with satisfaction. He shoved Roppi's headless body to the side, and it crumpled to the ground as if realizing that it was no longer animate. Akira's body was left on the asphalt, still running with water. Seidou was not aware of these facts, only that there was movement ahead and he couldn't stand its existence. Releasing another scream of raw outrage, he started towards the movement ahead only to be distracted by a foreign attack to his shoulder. He halted, looking in the direction from which the attack had originated. He bore his teeth at Shirou Emiya, pointing a weapon at him from up above. Another crystal shard hit home and, yanking out the projectiles from his flesh, Seidou went for Shirou instead.

Shirou backed off from the window the moment he saw Seidou go into a crouch. He brought his walkie-talkie to his ear, reconsidered, and then said into it, "Kaneki, stay back," before he tossed the contraption to the side. He knew what the order would be now – this man had killed Roppi; so now Seidou Takizawa was to be exterminated. _There has to be a better way,_ he thought, even as Seidou burst through the window with wings of vermilion, his ghoul eye shining red in the dark.

The redhead shot again at the ghoul with what Shirou reminded himself was once Seidou Takizawa's weapon, but the wraith ran straight into the attack – Shirou threw the crossbow forward and ran towards the stairwell, muttering under his breath the words " _Trace on_." As his dual short swords materialized in his hands with a crackle of teal, he heard Seidou pause at the railing. As it was a spiral staircase, Shirou could stare over the expanse and into the shadowy figure of Seidou, a level above him but otherwise directly across from him. And as Seidou jumped over the gap and directly to where Shirou stood, the archer could just make out Seidou's features, contorted into a horrid grimace that might have also been a distorted smile. His single human eye was empty as empty could be.

"You're going to kill me!" he cried as the ghoul smashed the wall behind him, and the redhead proceeded to take a leap of faith and jump the railing, falling three more stories before reaching ground. Midair he could sense the vibration of the building around him. Though it was too dark now to be really sure, he thought that perhaps Seidou was demolishing the stairwell in its entirety. When Shirou landed, he landed unevenly, tumbling and somersaulting into a more stable position. He remained low for some time, unsure of where Seidou could be.

 _Is it that he's still harrowed, too?_ He wondered, stance wide as he listened carefully for where Seidou might appear from the black. _Or is that already cured? This could just as easily be a natural reaction to the death of Akira…_ Shirou screwed his eyes shut. His heart ached. _No time, not yet._

Shirou wheeled around to block an attack from the half-ghoul with his blades, teeth gritted. "Oi! Seidou Takizawa!"

An animalistic growl was his answer, and he was sent skidding backwards into a pile of jagged debris.

Shirou did not back down. " _Hey!_ Don't ignore me!"

Seidou, in the midst of a blackout, could not understand his request. Shirou clashed with him again without breaking through to him.

"I didn't want Akira to die either, so _please!_ You've gotta listen, just for a little bit!"

Shirou's body broke a hole through the solid wall, and he found himself under the open sky, unmercifully dark. He didn't hesitate to get back to his feet, blocking Seidou again with effort.

" **A—ki…** "

"Yes, Akira Mado!" Shirou tried again. Blood was running from his forehead and into one of his eyes. The stinging was distracting, but it wasn't like could be blinded in the dark. "It's not over yet, Seidou! I still want to save you!"

His speech was disjointed; broken. " **Don't—know what—mean.** "

"I want to help, Seidou, but you need to calm—" he was grabbed by the throat, and as he struggled for air, he dropped his swords and they dissipated in a collection of teal sparks.

" **WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?** "

"… _T…ra…ce, on,_ " Shirou choked out, and stabbed Seidou in the side with the quinque dagger that Akira used in-game.

" **Don't hurt,** " he tittered, tightening his grip.

"What—are you… trying to… do? Seidou…"

" **Do? Do what? Do nothing!** "

"Damn it," he spoke through gritted teeth, and lifted the blade to his own throat, hoping that Seidou would back off before Shirou had even gotten through the black-nailed fingers gripping his neck. The half-ghoul seemed to remember that he couldn't heal, and released him before he lost his fingers. The dagger dissipated, and Shirou regenerated his two short swords, breathing hard. "You don't have to die. No one has to die. That doesn't mean—it hasn't happened… But it shouldn't have to. Listen. You still can be saved, I'm sure of it."

He seemed to be coming out of his murderous stupor, laughing madly. " **How's that? Huh? Huh? I killed Roppi! I killed Roppi! There's no going back from that! There isn't!** "

"Whatever happened to your ideal, Seidou?" Shirou asked him, desperate.

" **It was BULLSHIT!** "

Shirou dodged his sudden barrage of attacks as best he could, earning a few unneeded gashes on his side. "But isn't it true that you used to believe in that? Isn't that true? This isn't what you fought for, was it? Are those dreams really extinguished?"

" **SHUT** _ **UP**_ **!** " Seidou snapped, sending him flying into where he'd sent Roppi the first time. " _ **Go to Hell.**_ "

"I've already been there," Shirou smiled weakly, and Seidou raised an arm to dig into the redhead's chest when he heard the sound of shoes slamming on the pavement. He turned his bitter face to the direction of the noise – it was the red-jerseyed Shintaro, jogging desperately towards the scene as fast as his shut-in everything would allow.

"Wait!" he cried. "Wait! Please, wait! Stop! Please! Please, god, stop!"

Seidou paused, lowering his hand, if slightly. He looked confused to see him running through the dark.

"Don't… Don't hurt anybody… anymore… Please… _Please_ …" The NEET was gasping for air. "Seidou… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

Seidou blinked at him. " **…What.** " His eyes flickered to the movement beyond – what, Kaneki and the android, huh? His brow furrowed as he eyed Shintaro with his machine gun, and he took a step back in surprise. " **Wait… Did they send** _ **you**_ **to kill me? Is this for real?** _ **What?**_ " Bringing a hand to his pale face, he began to laugh, distorted and cruel. " **YOU? A** _ **shut-in?**_ **HAH!** "

"Seidou, I—I just want—" He choked down his pathetic tears. "I just want you back. Is that so much?"

Seidou halted again. " **…Huh?** "

"Y… you deserve to be saved too!" Shintaro said firmly, but his conviction was dampened by the scowl he could just make out. "This is starting to sound really dumb and repetitive, I know… Um…"

" **I just killed** _ **Roppi**_ ," he spat. " **If this is a show of teammate empathy, it's very stupid. I just killed the only other group member besides us! How can you** _ **possibly**_ **think that now?** _ **Why?**_ **You can't be serious!** "

"I know what you did," Shintaro said, his voice trembling. "But if Kaneki can be scary when he loses it, then, you're allowed to lose it too, sometimes, right…? Konoha's body killed Psyche and Delic, right? And…" He shook his head. "So…"

Seidou cackled, turning to Shintaro even as Shirou's vision faded. His head had been injured, and he was beginning to spiral into the abyss of unconsciousness. " **You say you want to save me?** _ **Go ahead and TRY,**_ **Shintaro…** " With a terrible grin and spread arms, Seidou approached the hikkiNEET. He quirked an eyebrow, sneering as Shintaro began backing up. " **What? I bet you could last a good three seconds against me… Do you think?** "

"Seidou, I don't want to _fight_ you! Don't you get it?! The others will have to get rid of you! They're already—"

" **WELL I WON'T LET THEM,** " Seidou bellowed. " **Because I DON'T WANT TO! I don't** _ **want**_ **to—!** "

"—die?" Shintaro finished. "Well—neither did Roppi."

Seidou's mouth contorted into another scowl. " **Do you really think you can do anything for me here?** " As he stepped forward, his foot knocked against something small and metallic. Seidou wondered if perhaps that was the blade that Roppi had cut his face with.

"I—I know you might hate me," Shintaro conceded. "There's no way I can get through to you the way that… well…" He didn't want to say Akira's name. Who knew how Seidou would react? "No, hear me out…"

" **No promises. How about I give you ten seconds instead? Then maybe you can get a sentence or two in.** "

"Uhh…" Shintaro swallowed. "Thanks, I guess—" He took a deep breath, ready to speak quickly. Could he really make his point that fast? He guessed he'd just have to. "Seidou, I know that something happened that none of us know, but I _can_ say this: that no matter what you did, or what you've done, or what you're doing—you're still the same guy that led us from the very beginning. You're still the same guy who—"

" **Time's up,** " Seidou sneered, but Shintaro only continued.

" _Do you know_ how much it meant for you to come into my room and apologize that night?"

" **It doesn't matter anymore, does it?** "

"It _does_ matter, Seidou!" It was Shintaro's turn to snap. "Because I left to save Roppi thinking that if I could save _one person_ then maybe I could feel like I was worth saving too. And I felt like maybe I _could_ do that, because _you inspired me_ to think that maybe, just maybe, I'm worth trying for. And god damn it, Seidou, I wanted to bring him back and to bring the medical bag back and I wanted to save Touka and—and I wanted to make you proud, Seidou! I—wanted to make you proud… Do you know why? Do you?"

The way Seidou could not find an answer told him that he did not.

"Did you read the note I left you? I called you a hero, Seidou, but—I don't think you could possibly know why: you saved me, Seidou… You saved _me,_ and that alone is proof that you're worth saving. Because—even if you weren't ever what _you_ wanted, you were _my_ hero."

Seidou stared at him through the dark, a wraith swaying amongst the saturated shadows.

"Doesn't that matter, Seidou? Doesn't that matter at all?"

The clouds began to part, just enough for the moon to peek from beyond the black. In the new light, Shintaro could make out his friends – Konoha, Kaneki – one poised atop the building and the other peering from the far corner on ground behind Seidou, waiting to put him down like a dog. Shintaro's grey eyes widened. _No… Just a little longer…_ "Shirou was fighting for you all this time, too… You know? He has faith in you…"

Seidou's eyes had flickered to the side, and Shintaro worried that maybe he knew they were there. Or maybe he was hoping he knew. He couldn't tell. " **You want to save me from dying?** " Seidou asked Shintaro slowly, and the red-jerseyed one nodded cautiously, almost suspicious.

"Um… Yeah, that's part of the point…" He swallowed again. His throat was desert dry.

Seidou smiled eerily, and Shintaro got an uneasy feeling. Not that he wasn't already uneasy. " **Alright,** " he said, and as Kaneki and Konoha began to move, Seidou scooped up the weapon left by Roppi on the ground with his fingers, jumping up and then landing behind Shintaro, where he hooked his arm around his neck and pointed the edge of the Harrowing Blade at Shintaro's throat. Kaneki landed on ground, but froze. Konoha stopped short in his tracks.

Shintaro suddenly remembered what fear was and how unpleasant it could be. Seidou didn't know what that blade did – if he were even to threaten him by drawing blood, then it was over… The thought of losing control of his own thoughts and emotions like that… at this point, after coming as far as he had… it was a terrifying, terrifying thought. He strained to make his neck smaller and couldn't tell whether he was making things better or worse.

" _Seidou_ ," Kaneki's voice was soft but firm. Imploring. "You don't know what that is; please… Let Shintaro go…"

"I do not want anyone else hurt," Konoha agreed. Shintaro was somewhat astounded to find that Konoha's eyes were spilling with tears. "…I… That is, my friend, you see… And even though Roppi said that we needed to save you… I don't know… what to do…"

Seidou's eyes narrowed. " **You're planning to kill me—you two are, aren't you? That's the start to an apology speech—if I didn't have Shintaro here, that is. Well I ain't letting him go. So back off.** "

Kaneki's lips thinned. "Seidou, we won't hurt you. Please, release Shintaro. He shouldn't be dragged into this."

" **I don't** _ **believe**_ **you,** " Seidou hissed, taking a step back. Shintaro scrambled to join him in pace, not wanting the blade any closer to his neck than it already was. It was so scarily, tantalizingly close… He didn't dare speak. He didn't dare breathe. Shintaro felt as though even his own heart was holding its breath for him – he was suspended in suspense. " **So what I'm going to do,** " Seidou continued, nice and slow, " **…is I'm going to take Shintaro here hostage.** "

 _Oh, you've got to be kidding._ Shintaro refrained from erupting into hysterical laughter.

" **You don't want me hurting** _ **him,**_ **do you? So I'm going to take him with me, and you won't lay a hand on me, either, so long as you don't want him hurt. Alright?** "

"Not to question your character, Seidou-san…" said Kaneki, "…but how can we believe _you_ when you say you won't hurt him?"

Seidou merely smiled cruelly, his eyes shrouded. " **I guess you'll just need a little bit of 'faith,'** " he jeered. With a snicker, he grabbed Shintaro by the waist with his other arm and, without any further warning, jumped away with him into the night.

Konoha almost jumped after them, but Kaneki, his eyes overcast, stopped him. The android paused, his body trembling, perhaps thunder in accompaniment to the rain in his eyes. "Does this mean…" he said to Kaneki, "…that the plan did not work?"


	40. Sever

It took some time for Izaya Orihara to stir again from his place on the sodden, blood-soaked earth. He lost his awareness of the world around him – the rain went unfelt and unheard. The thunder rolling and lightning flashing couldn't reach him, not right now. He only heard silence; he only saw darkness, his forehead pressed against the cool grass. His initial outrage was short-lived, fizzling out into something like the night sky. Cold, empty, and endless. And yet, there was a nagging reminder tugging at his consciousness, reminding him he was far from 'eternal.'

When he finally raised his head, he felt numb in a way that he couldn't tell was pleasant or dreadful. The clearing had been dimly lit – or perhaps his eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. Eyeing the now-visible moon, he thought perhaps that it was both. The forest was still dripping with rain, but the storm itself was over. The taste of iron permeated his mouth, coating his insides and tainting even the air he breathed, and so he spat to the ground, clearing his throat of thick blood. Wiping at his bloodied lips, he slowly got to his feet, using a tree for support.

His dark eyes scanned the ground, and the shine of his switchblade in the moonlight caught his eye. He took that carefully and pocketed it, one step closer to being at ease. Izaya saw, too, that the Prophet still lie discarded on the ground beyond his immediate reach. He tried to smile, but for some reason he'd forgotten how to. Instead he felt the corners of his mouth twitch into something closer to a grimace. "He left it," he said aloud, and his raspy voice grated against his own ears. It sounded like a stranger, and for a moment this scared him before he disregarded it as having too much residue in his esophagus. Half-laughing, half-coughing, he pushed off of the tree to begin to the Prophet, slow and steady.

Though limping, he was perfectly capable of mobility. He wasn't disqualified yet, oh, no, he wasn't… Sliding it into his plastic sheath, he paused. He didn't quite know even what he was thinking about. Arms limp at his sides, Izaya looked at the moon again, wondering when the rain might have stopped. He couldn't recall it ever ending. "Oh well," he said eventually. His voice was so quiet, he wasn't all too sure he'd spoken.

He approached Suzuya and Twelve without expression. Twelve was laid out on his back, the cape draped over him – was it black again, or was that just the lack of light? – and Suzuya lay on his side, somehow reaching over to Twelve with his hand clutching at the terrorist's covered chest. "…Persistent kid," Izaya commented, and he heard his words echo in his head as though someone else had spoken them. He didn't feel quite in touch with himself, and attested it to the loss of blood.

Devoid of feeling, he knelt down at Twelve's side and moved his arm from beneath the shroud. He hesitated for a moment – his hand was already so cold. "I wonder, did it end in fire or ice?" he uttered as he placed Twelve's hand over Suzuya's. "Hah? …Twelve."

He struggled back to his feet again, holding his gut with one eye closed. This injury would become very troublesome very fast. There was nothing to do but keep going. Hearing distant explosions, he looked again to the sky empty of stars. He thought to count the casualty fireworks, but soon lost track, his train of thought swiftly derailed. "Look at that," he said to no one. Twelve always enjoyed the thought of casualty fireworks. "Look at that."

Izaya thought to himself that perhaps he should look for Celty. Yato implied he'd done something, but surely, surely it was a bluff… Yato may have been a God of Calamity, but Celty was a _Dullahan_ , a creature that foretells inevitable death. "And if I find Celty-san," he added to himself, "…then I know for sure that _she_ can't forget me."

And even if it weren't a bluff, well, that wouldn't make a difference, right? Izaya would figure something else out, wouldn't he? Of course he would. _I don't need 'ties' or 'connections', anyway,_ he thought as he trudged through the woods. _I'll prove him wrong. I told them; I haven't needed those things for a long, long time…_

So Izaya made it through the stretch of trees and across the open parkland that led him to a smoldering building. He stared at it for some time, as though entranced by the charred bones of the house that stood before him. It was some kind of premonition that led him to know what he'd see before he went to the front door and found it open. He stepped in without a word of greeting; he felt his mouth stretching over his face. Maybe he was smiling, but he couldn't quite tell.

"Ah, Celty-san," he said, spreading his arms. His eyebrows were clinched together. "How very unlike you – how could someone get the best of you so easily? I suppose you could argue the same for myself—" He paused, flashing bloody teeth in something that was meant to be bitter amusement. He felt electric on the inside. Was it invigorating? Irritating? Painful? "…Really, though…"

He travelled the expanse of the room, his footfalls the only sound in the quiet. He leaned down, one hand clutching at his stomach, to lift the helmet that had rolled from her shoulders. When he went to her, he was lacking, again, in expression. The faint darkness that still trickled from her neck, visible in the moonlight from the window, lapped at his ankles. He felt like that darkness – he was a void. His everything was swallowed by… by…

"…I don't know why I'm talking to you, anyway," he said, voice detached and monotonous. "I know you're dead, too." He got down onto his knees beside her, and slowly, slowly rolled her over onto her back and off of the corpse of Yoh Takami. Izaya didn't look at him.

Gently setting her helmet on her stomach as if it were her relic, he tugged at the corners of his own mouth and tried to smile at her. He thought his chest hurt, but assumed that was the injury of his abdomen. Could it have been? From the depths of the void, he began to feel this odd suppression, like some deep well within him that was just now threatening to boil over after having been drowned out for however long. The fact that he didn't know what this was scared him. He imagined something from the oozing red of his gut reaching into his ribcage and clutching at his lungs like the cold hands of dread. He felt his breath catch in his throat, the sensation was so vivid. It was beyond the invigorating buzz of fear and into the realm of paralyzing terror. This feeling was doubling itself, and god, it was too quiet…

"Hey, Celty-san," he said. "Will you be… my friend, now?"

And he looked at her cadaver and began to laugh, high and hysterical. He laughed because yes, she was dead, and so were Twelve and Suzuya and Minene; so was Yukine; so was Shizuo. He laughed because he hadn't done a thing about it. He laughed because only now did he realize that he could have, should have. He laughed because he knew that he had demolished anything he might have forged with Yato, and he'd done it with his own hands. He laughed because now, with whatever Yato had done, he'd also lost anything he might have had with anyone else. He laughed because he knew he didn't have much to lose anyway, if anything at all. He laughed because just then he realized that he couldn't name a single person who cared about him. He laughed because this was all his own choice.

Abruptly, the laughter ceased, and he slammed his fist into the blackened wooden flooring once, twice, three times. Again. Again—his vision blurring as he lost himself in the motion. Eventually he stopped, curling forward and gasping for iron-flavored air with one hand clutching tightly at his stomach. He felt himself choking, he was being smothered by his own insides. It was cold. He was so cold. The word _lonely_ occurred to him, but this, this was more than loneliness, no, he was far from anything he'd known – could he ever go home? And what was the point, if no one would remember him? And who gave a shit anyway? Even if they _were_ to know him, what difference did it make? For some reason, this only mattered to him now. But this sudden apprehension was something that came too little too late, and Izaya knew it.

He was swathed in red, his vision dipped in carmine. _No one remembers me,_ he thought simply. Something terrible occurred to him: _And they really wouldn't have anyway, if I were to disappear._

Who was it that would care to glance at a report of Izaya Orihara's death? The enemies who wanted him dead anyhow?

He felt horribly ill now. _Whether it's Shizu-chan or Akise-kun… Celty-san or A-ya-kun… Shinra, Yato, Shintaro, and the like… It wasn't as though any of them actually_ liked _me._ Of course he'd already known this. He scoffed at the fact all the time. It was funny. So why did it so trouble him right now?

Trembling hands pressed to the warm wooden floor. Fingers raised, curling tightly around a switchblade he'd kept for however many years now. Did it really matter whether the world would end in fire or ice? Did it really matter whether this could have ended differently? Did it really matter, in the end, that he'd come here at all? Who did it make a difference for? What _was_ he fighting for but to have just a _little bit_ of control – to have something go _his way_? And what was the outcome he wanted, when he didn't even know the answer to why he'd done – or not done – some of the things he did? What would the other members of this game recall of him but bitterness or strife? And that being said, wasn't it the same way back home?

He felt himself flick the blade open. Who was Izaya Orihara, after all? It was another question he didn't know the answer to. He needed answers. He felt the cool blade against the flesh of his neck, his eyes shut tight. Would Yato be happy if he were dead? Would he be angry? The latter thought made him smile and, feeling something breaking inside himself, he felt distantly that pressure was being applied to the vein that his knife was pressed to. Why should it make a lick of difference whether 'Izaya Orihara' even existed? Maybe it was even that he never had at all! Take this consciousness! Take this sense of being and throw it to the abyss! End it! End him! Would anyone even notice?

He wasn't a part of his body anymore, floating midair among other misled ashes. Where were the sparks? They all would burn out, and no one pays any mind to a spark flickering out in the night sky. Vaguely, there was the sensation of warmth trickling down into the shallow dip behind his collarbone. Yes, Izaya would disappear after all, and then—

— _And then what?_

He returned to himself, and, horrified, dropped the knife to the ground with a yell. _I don't want to die,_ he thought, the cohesion of his mind running all together like his vision, why was everything so blurry? He couldn't see a thing, the moonlight was shining against the dark floor, shining like a pond of crystal blue, wavering and unstable like—like…

Izaya scrambled backwards – his eyes, his throat, his chest; they burned… Bringing a palm to one of his eyes, he was shocked to discover a wetness that wasn't blood. The taste of salt mixed with the taste of iron, a sickening combination. He felt his insides threatening to purge themselves again, and he held it in with both of his hands pressed to his parted mouth. His body heaved with something that might have been a laugh or maybe a sob – the act of weeping was one not in any of his memories at hand. Was it supposed to feel as though everything inside of you was swelling and spilling over in an uncontrollable flow of something inexplicably raw? And even with all of this spilling, he only felt the everything inside was only growing and swelling into something greater and greater, as if the more he disposed of it, the more there was left to get rid of. And now his chest, his chest was as clogged as his throat, as his cluttered mind…

He was choking again, and the red, this thick, sticky fluid of carmine, like roses or the spatter people left behind on the pavement when they jumped—

He could see the red of his insides on the floor in the moonlight even though it looked black—and he could hardly believe it; he couldn't breathe now and his vision was beyond blurry, becoming dark as he felt himself slipping; he was slipping from himself and the thought of being nothing but a spatter of red was—

 _I don't want to disappear._ His desperation was redoubling and tightening around his obstructed lungs – what a terribly human thing to do! _I don't want to disappear,_ he thought again, his nihilism metamorphosing quickly into a mind-numbing fear that consumed him like a conflagration known as trepidation; and the thought of how hopelessly, utterly _alone_ he was—it was a feeling like being submerged into the waters of the arctic. _I don't want to—_

And as he struggled to contain himself, it occurred to him that he was wrong, after all: no, it wasn't that no one had cared for him at all, no, no, it was far worse than that. In a moment of vivid clarity, Izaya was transported to the memory of standing on watch with the alternate personality of himself, the boy with his face named Psyche kicking his feet back and forth, back and forth. And this kid, this twenty-one-year-old kid, he looked at Izaya and smiled at him with shining pink eyes. And this guy, unbelievably, he tilted his head and said to him, "Izaya-san, we alternates like Roppi and I – of course we're like you some way or another." Spreading his arms wide and looking up to the moon above, he said to him, "That's why I love everyone. I love everybody, just like Izaya-san – that's right! Humans are the best! But I can do something that Izaya can't, you know, because Psyche is still Psyche, and that's different than being Izaya. No, I'm different because I love Izaya-san." And Izaya remembered opening his unobstructed mouth in an attempt to interject, see, because why was that any different than Izaya, no, what was that supposed to mean? "That's right," Psyche said over the silence that now seized Izaya by the throat. "Something like that, like 'love.' For someone like Izaya, he won't know it even if it's right there in front of him. And that's why I'll always love, love, _love_ Izaya Orihara!"

And so Izaya felt Psyche's smile haunting him like the knowing look in the eyes of Akise. The way Yato would wrap his arm around his shoulders in some sort of comical companionship of mischief. The concerned shine to Shintaro's luminescent eyes, or the look Shizuo gave him when he died; the look Twelve gave him just as he perished. And what was the first thing Celty had asked him but 'Are you okay?'

And what had Izaya done? He turned away when Psyche was killed, merely disturbed by the thought of watching someone die who had his own face. Akise was someone he only clashed with, and he hadn't done _Yato_ any favors; that was for sure! Shintaro was someone he used as an interesting pawn, and Shizuo was the rival he hated more than anyone else! Even trying to say he was fighting for him now, he knew it was just some twisted form of irony that mocked his name rather than respected it—and look where Celty was now! Wasn't it true that Twelve had come right out and said it to him? And he had turned him away, just like every time before.

It was their hands Izaya could feel now, reaching into the hole Yato had left in his gut and threading their fingers through his ribcage as they pulled him apart, straining open his entire being and cracking his mind and body apart like opening a walnut or a Russian Matryoshka doll, they were opening him up and it hurt, it hurt, it hurt more than he ever imagined it could but they didn't know that inside the shell of Izaya Orihara there was nothing, nothing at all.

And Izaya learned what it meant to be real, even as reality fell through on him and he ceased to exist. He learned to be real like Suzuya learned to be real, releasing a cry that Izaya couldn't even perceive as his own voice. Knowing that no one would hear him and no one would care, he only grew louder in his bitter revelation. " _I NEED IT,_ " he cried. " _I NEEDED THEM._ " And he wailed to no one for someone, _somebody_ but there was nobody left.

And there, in that smoldering household, Izaya Orihara wept, screaming into empty air until there was nothing left but that god-forsaken silence.


	41. Nobody, Everybody

The light of the moon lifted only some of the weight that night had brought the remaining players of the game. The storm was over, but the tragedy it had wrought was still potent and nigh unbearable.

Somewhere on the edge of the woods, static resonated from a walkie-talkie now lost in the wet grass. " _It's been a long time,_ " said the voice of Rin Tohsaka. " _Please report when possible…_ "

Kaneki the half-ghoul paused in his strife, having been tending to the injuries of Konoha first thing. He knelt there with frozen hands over the bandage that he should be tying off around the abdomen of the android. Konoha tilted his head at him, just as quiet as the other. Beside them, Shirou lay still, unconscious for the time being.

"It's… my fault," Kaneki whispered, and even though Konoha didn't understand a lot of things, he could tell, at least, that his words fell with the weight of something painful.

"I don't think so," Konoha answered him in his own soft voice. "This is just another summer day that turned red." He watched Kaneki tie off the bandage then, his softly glowing eyes thoughtful. "I think… that you are hurting because you think you could have something more—when really, everyone wanted to do more than what they could."

"This has happened before," Kaneki said hollowly. "My efforts not being enough…"

"It's happened before," Konoha confirmed. "I do not know how many times… There was once the story of a boy and a girl one summer… But 'next summer' never came. Somehow, I could never run fast enough to save either one of them. Even here, I always stop myself too late when my body betrays me the way it did. People go to sleep and don't wake up all the time. No matter what… I do, it—doesn't change the ending, either… So… I don't think… it is your fault at all… No…" The android began to tremble again; his eyes were inexplicably wet. Strange, he thought it wasn't raining anymore.

"Nobody's fault." Kaneki's eyes were closed. "Everybody's."

"Yes, something like that."

"Yes… Something like that."

"I hope Shintaro is okay," said Konoha.

"Me too, Konoha," said Kaneki. "Me too."

And while Konoha put his shirt and undershirt back on, Kaneki went to Shirou Emiya in an attempt to judge the damage done. The redheaded one stirred as the casualty fireworks went off. His golden eyes reflected the explosions with some confusion. Kaneki counted seven of them. _Seven people…_ Shirou sat up abruptly and went right back down again with a grimace."Shirou-kun," Kaneki smiled gently, "it's alright. Shintaro left the medical bag here… So I will tend to you before we return to the others."

"The—others," Shirou repeated, still gathering his bearings. "Shintaro—wait… Where is—he…?"

"He was taken by Seidou," Kaneki answered calmly, and as Shirou looked into the face of Konoha, running with tears, he understood.

"We—shouldn't we go after them…?"

"We can't; not right now… We need to get you back to the others first—"

"No, I don't care!" Shirou insisted. "I'm fine, see? We can head out right now!"

"We need to return to the others," Kaneki reiterated firmly. "I'm sure Tohsaka-chan… will be pleased to see you alive."

Shirou frowned deeply, his lips drawn into a thin line. He couldn't argue that.

And Rin waited impatiently for an answer from one of them, pacing back and forth near the walkie-talkie.

"You know, Rin-chan, I don't think pacing near it will change how fast they answer us," said Hide with a grin, scratching at his temple.

"We should go after them," she said tightly.

"We should remain here," Shinichi said flatly.

Hide glanced over at the partial-parasite. "Don't get me wrong… It's not like I'm not worried or anything… I totally want to go after them and help, but I know that if we do that, we'll probably only get in the way right now. They're probably having some kinda intimate reunion! So we should let them do that."

"If all went well, they should be able to at least _tell_ us," Rin growled.

Hide merely shrugged.

In the suburban development they currently housed in, Shinichi contemplated whether these homes would be even near up to par for Ciel Phantomhive. He supposed not, even though he thought they made for a pretty nice shelter himself. Looking to the sky from the window, he watched the casualty fireworks begin going off, one by one. One pink, three golden, two blue, and a red… Shinichi closed his eyes, knowing that surely, not everyone had made it. He didn't open them even as Shirou Emiya finally reported in over the walkie talkie. Rin demanded to know whether he was alright, and he said he was, he was fine, so don't worry, Tohsaka-chan, because you can't rid of me that easily.

Shinichi listened and didn't look when Hide asked the results in all tentativeness, and Rin went quiet. Shirou offered only static at first, until there was at last the explanation that Kaneki and Konoha were with him, and they were alright. Shintaro could still be okay, but right now he was taken in as a hostage by Seidou, and that was the only word he had.

Everyone had the sense not to ask about Akira. Everyone had the sense not to ask about Roppi.

"We'll be heading back now," said Shirou.

Shinichi opened his eyes again. He wondered what had gone wrong – was it Seidou himself, or was there interference? He envisioned the distorted expression of A-ya when he'd finally found him with his ebony cape and the eyes of the possessed.

 _I wonder, then…_ he thought, _…how Yukiteru is doing. If he_ is _still alive… I need to find him yet._

And that lost boy wandered the dark woods where the moon could not penetrate, calling for A-ya without response. Rika was at his heels with nothing to say. After the casualty fireworks went off, the ten-year-old beyond her years could no longer stand Yukiteru's despairing voice calling into the silence. And so, going against the wishes of Hanyuu, she sped up her pace and grabbed Yukki by the cloak and tugged to get his attention. He ceased his calling and stopped short, turning to her in a jerking motion.

"…Huh, what is it, Rika?" he asked blankly.

He had a tone about him that she didn't very much like. But she smiled up at him anyway, in the dark, and she acted just as if it were all okay. "Yukiteru, it is getting late, that is so… Perhaps we should rest soon?"

"If you're getting tired, I can levitate you if you want," he offered distractedly.

She shook her head. "Yukiteru also needs rest… I don't want Yukiteru to wear himself down, that is so…"

"Ah… I mean, I feel fine…"

"I would like for us to take shelter until morning. Can we do that, Yukiteru? You and I both need to recover. It is when we do not notice that it is most dangerous, nii…"

"Mm… I guess you might be right…" He began walking again. "It will be easier to find A-ya in the daytime anyway, I guess." Rika was pleased to discover that he was leading them towards a shed hidden among the briars. She smiled slightly as Hanyuu huffed in frustration behind her. The canopy parted here, and Yukiteru paused to look up into the moon. "Ah…"

"What is it, Yukiteru?" she asked.

"The sky…" He paused, and she could make out the dull nostalgia on his moonlit features. "…You can't make out a single star tonight," he said.

And yet, this was something that A-ya didn't notice. Huddled in a building with shattered windows a few stories below him, he took shelter for the night with only himself and his possessor. He was back in the city, now, and figured he should remain on these streets for some time. Now, he was cradling his broken wrist, twisted by the hands of Akira Mado.

He had to say, he was impressed… For her to stop him from reaching through her to Seidou Takizawa, and then for her to hold him there for as long as she had—for her to _break his wrist_ , he had to say that she was impressive. He had to give her that.

A-ya closed his eyes as he recalled it all in flickering colors. The thought of the boy – what was his name? Eerily, he had the same naturally red eyes as A-ya, though he looked strikingly similar to the one who called himself 'Izaya Orihara.'

 **He was cute,** offered Kuroha, and A-ya didn't answer, looking distantly into the city his window overlooked. After his hand had torn through the blond woman (and oh, she had surprised him doing as she did…), there was this boy, this boy he hadn't met properly before who looked like the desperate one called 'Izaya,' okay…

A-ya knew there was a mystery there, but his thoughts were led straight forward rather than on the tangent of curiosity. This person – he thought his name might be Roppi – who had obviously been a part of the group of the girl, he stood up and stepped between him and the half-ghoul Seidou.

A-ya couldn't quite fathom the idea, knowing that this guy was very much human, and A-ya was very much possessed by a demon, and Seidou was very much a ghoul—why would Roppi step between them that way? Seidou could fight for himself better than Roppi could, surely, as a human…

His thoughts scattered, A-ya tried to properly recall: he had said something to him, of course.

"You're killing for nothing," Roppi said to the dark-clad hero. "Don't you understand? This game is nothing. It's fake!"

And he had to pause. He had to. A-ya felt a clarity for a moment—just for that moment, yes, this person gave him the fleeting sensation of being determined and independent. And then he'd begun addressing Seidou the half-ghoul instead: "You need to get out of here. I came here to save somebody, damn it, so let me do it. I was serious, you know? The others will be here soon, and this possessed kid will have to back off. Until then, I want to make sure…that you're okay. That being said…" Maybe he knew that he would die. Maybe he knew that Seidou was too far gone to hear him. "'…See you next time.'" Roppi was smiling with the same face that C-ta wore when he had the scissors in his neck, and—

—And then Roppi had turned to look at the half-ghoul, and just like that, he was dead.

 **You shouldn't think too much about such things.**

"I'm not," A-ya answered, closing his eyes. "I'm just thinking that it was a terribly ironic way to go."

 **That's true,** the serpent conceded. **What's the next plan, Loner?**

"We're working solo now, aren't we?" A-ya mused aloud, and he sensed Kuroha's amusement at such a statement, even though the serpent didn't comment on it. "It's a good question, isn't it? The next plan…" He thought of the way that man called 'Izaya Orihara' gripped at his vest, so desperate. What was that about…?

Closing his eyes, A-ya shook his head. His thoughts were led, rather, to the deceased Twelve and the incapacitated Suzuya, now dead at the terrorist's side. "You knew that they would be ambushed, didn't you?"

Kuroha didn't answer, but he felt him smiling.

Chuckling, the young boy opened his eyes again, a smile ghosting over his lips. "Not that I could expect anything less. Thank you."

He felt the serpent recoiling in wary confusion. **You're thanking me?**

"Of course I am. Isn't it better for me? The less ties I have, the easier all of this will be. Isn't that right?"

… **Yes, that's right,** Kuroha agreed eventually. He seemed to be indecisively wavering between satisfaction and suspicion.

"And now, of course, I'm supposed to want to go after Yato, right? Because of what he did, right? Well. Really it's because he's the greatest threat, isn't he?" A-ya's wry smile widened. "He's the one that killed Sebastian, after all. Isn't that right? Kuroha?"

 **It's true that he's someone to be wary of. That 'Shinki' of his… renders him able to dispose of us easily.**

"And that's why he's the next target, right? Knowing Suzuya, he's probably at least _moderately_ injured now. With the evidence of his blood-soaked jersey, and knowing that Seidou had been tailing him for some time, he's got injuries old and new to worry about. That being said, we're supposed to attack him while he's weak."

 **That is exactly right,** the serpent agreed, at last deciding to go with satisfaction. He really could collaborate with this kid on levels he didn't know could occur.

"I wonder what he's doing now," A-ya smiled down at the city below. He liked the wall of windows. It was nice. "If he's smart, we'll be the number one on his list of worries. Seidou—he can take second place." And he erupted in laughter. "I'm sure," he said, "I'm sure that Yato's hiding away just like we are now, you think?"

 **I'd infer so,** answered the serpent, and A-ya imagined him waving his tail in interest. **You sure are something, kid. I'll give you that.**

And it was around then that Yato slowed in his zig-zagging and came to a halt at Nora's _"Right here is perfect,"_ ringing in his head. He had been tempted to watch the results of Izaya, but reminded himself that that point of it was that no one, not even himself, would care to watch him suffer. He would be satisfied knowing he'd left him as he did, and that should be enough. Maybe it would be a slow thing, like a withering flower in denial about its own fate of fading away. Maybe it would be quick, like smashing a vase on the pavement. Either way, Izaya Orihara would unravel and fall apart. And either way, he would do it alone.

Smiling, Yato acknowledged the beauty of being one of very few who knew this secret. Why? Because Izaya let Yukine die? Probably something like that. It was more than that, of course. It was not caring despite everything. It was not knowing the worth of life.

Upon rematerializing in human form, Nora wiped at her mouth. Yato's eyes flickered. "What's wrong?" he asked her, and she smiled at him, her face silvery in the moonlight.

"I'm fine, Yato. It's just that… that sword, is unpleasant," she remarked, her eyes darkening in quiet discontent.

"That sword…," he repeated, thinking of the crimson blade belonging to Yoh Takami. _That's right, it's still…_ He began to recall the last time Yoh would ever use that blade, and shut down the image before it could get to the bad part. "Are you sure that you're fine?"

"Of course," she assured him. "More importantly, there is you… That white-haired one was strong, and he hurt you…"

He waved her off, unconcerned. "Mostly, he reopened the old wounds. I just need rest. I'm more worried about…"

"I don't want to talk about him," Nora said flatly.

Yato blinked, then allowed his gaze to avert itself from her. "I know, of course you're bothered. I don't want to think about Akise either." He paused; the quiet was tense. He eyed a figure lying inanimate at the edge of the clearing. "…So, why this clearing, Hiiro?"

She closed her eyes, folding her hands together and smiling pleasantly once again. "Because no one in this game really wants to approach the dead. They wish to leave them be. Therefore…" She gestured to the body resting nearby.

Yato didn't want to think about the fact that the boy that lay there looked only fourteen or so. "I think that one is from the same realm as the serpent's new vessel," he commented distractedly.

"Exactly," she answered warmly. "So that person will be less likely to come here."

"He is the one I've been worried about for a while now," Yato admitted. "Since he became possessed… in that fight, I…" He paused. Yukiteru came to mind, and he felt vaguely disturbed.

"Mm? Is something wrong?"

"No… I was just wondering something as all." He went over to a tree to sit among its roots. Nora followed, nestling herself beside him. Absently, he patted her head. "Yukiteru was walking that line, you know… I wonder where he'll end up."

"Whatever path he takes… I suppose you pushed him there, huh, Yato?" Her eyes were narrowed in jaded pleasure.

"I guess so." His tone was as detached as his eyes.

She looked up into his profile, looking somewhere far away. Expression warming, she snuggled up closer to him, earning a glance. "I knew you would make the right choice," she said softly. "And anyway, you did what you wanted to Izaya Orihara, right?"

"Mm," he agreed.

"And you broke the general rule that you can only kill so many people at a time, huh?"

"I did."

"And now, we can say that that half-ghoul shouldn't be going after you anymore… at least for now."

He closed his eyes. "That's right," he said. "So for now, it's best to rest."

"Yes," she said. "That's right."


	42. Hostage

It was in a similar clearing to Yato and Nora's resting place that Seidou carried Shintaro to. All the while for the hikkiNEET the fear consumed him like black kerosene… or something. He couldn't think of any good metaphors when he was this panicked. Holding his breath and trying not to scream were all he could do not to set himself on fire.

Funnily enough, he wasn't all too worried about Seidou himself. Yeah, Seidou was real scary right now, but at least he kind of knew what to expect. That Harrowing Blade—if he got cut, what would happen? Would he want to kill himself, or something along those lines? He didn't want to go back to such a place in his head. It was not a pleasant place. Even the thought brought him dread—and yet the more he thought about it, and thought, and thought, he gradually came to realize—that it didn't matter at all. Did it?

And as Seidou sat Shintaro roughly on a low-seated stone, the NEET finally dropped the machine gun to the ground as if it were Seidou that had held onto that, too. Idly, Shintaro watched the vividness of the blueish moonlight fade into dull grey. Maybe silver, if you wanted to be creative. Eyes flat, he brought his hand to where the Harrowing Blade had been closest to. "…"

Seidou immediately drew into himself upon his landing and detachment from his 'teammate.' " **Don't expect—hospitality. I just wanted to make it outta there—you know, so that means… that the only reason you're here, is because you're my hostage.** "

Shintaro only stared at him silently, without expression. He was holding one of his hands up, his palm facing his dull face.

Seidou's eyes narrowed. " **That—whole deal was for nothing,** " he added. " **A filthy traitor like me wouldn't come back after all of that. Right? You know that, right?** "

"I'm bleeding," Shintaro said flatly. He didn't lower his hand. He didn't move other than for speech. He was made of stone.

Seidou straightened, lost. His brow furrowed deeply, his teeth bared. " **…So? Suck it up, shut-in.** "

"…" Shintaro lowered his hand. He seemed to distantly consider something before sticking his hands in his pockets, deadpan.

" **What's** _ **your**_ **problem?** " Seidou scowled.

"I don't have a problem," he answered, monotone.

The half-ghoul cocked his head to the side, expression skeptical.

Shintaro shrugged. "I was just thinking, you know, about what it is I can glean from this situation. Tell me, Seidou. Are you going to kill me here? Seeing as I'm your hostage, and you keep insisting you're the villain here… Will you kill me?"

Seidou was quiet, frozen in suspicion. " **…I won't,** " he said eventually.

"Then why don't I make it easier for you?" Tilting his head to the side, Shintaro lifted the red-handled scissors from his pocket.

" **What are you going to do with those?** " Seidou scoffed. " **Kill yourself?** "

"Would you care if I did?"

" **Of course not.** "

"Then sure." He pointed them towards his own neck, eyeing Seidou meaningfully. Seidou's mouth twitched. "Look at me. There really is no point to my being here, is there? You've made it out of the dangerous situation you were in. Akira and Roppi are dead…" – Seidou's eyes flickered in discontent – "…and if you don't care about them, either, there's no reason for you to keep _me_ around anymore."

" **You could still—come in handy.** "

"Hah?" Shintaro at last gave expression to that dead-eyed face, but it was one of a distorted smile. "Like how? I suppose you could use me as bait to kill off the rest of that group, right?" He was carelessly handling the scissors, waving them around as he spread his arms. "Kaneki and Konoha and Shirou and the rest? Shinichi, Tohsaka—I mean, you do know Hide, don't you? You could also use me as a reason to get them to do something, but what? What do you want them to do? Spare you? Well. I think that you can handle yourself just fine."

Seidou glowered at him wordlessly.

"What? Not your idea? Will you use me as a peace offering? 'I spared Shintaro, so now we can be allies again'?"

" **No way!** " Seidou snapped. " **There's no way I'm going back with them—I'm a** _ **filthy traitor,**_ **so why would I do** _ **that?**_ "

Shintaro shrugged again. "Then why does it matter if I die?" He gestured with the scissors again, shining in the light of the moon. "If you don't care either way, then it's up to me, right? And maybe something like the title ' _hero_ ' was something that was very important to me." He stared with empty pools of pale grey into Seidou's face, gripping tighter on the handle to his blade.

" **A 'hero of justice'… doesn't exist,** " there was certain subdued tone to Seidou's words. " **That ideal—is bullshit.** "

Shintaro's eyes were unyielding. "In my eighteen years of living, I've had three heroes. If someone sees somebody else as a hero, that's all it takes, isn't it? To be one, that is." The half-ghoul opened his mouth to speak, but the NEET continued in firm monotony, "The first died when I was seven years old. Nobody will ever know how I felt at that time but me. I'll never tell. The second and the third, well—I guess each one of them replaces the one before them. After my dad died, Ayano was my hero. Then it was a leader named Seidou Takizawa."

Seidou drew back, baring his teeth at the statement.

Shintaro gave that twisted, acidic smile again at the response. "Alright. So one tried to tell me that there was beauty in this monochrome world, tried to tell me there was 'happiness.' Well, you know what?"

Seidou glared through the dark without answer.

"She killed herself. She committed suicide – what am I supposed to do? What does that say? She, who told me that living was worth it—she took her own life! She, who taught me what 'happiness' was, could not fly like the paper cranes she folded with care." Those grey eyes were of ice. "And Seidou Takizawa; that guy told me that maybe _I_ was worth it, right? Are you catching onto this sardonic comedy here?"

Seidou could only frown, his shoulders bunching up around his neck.

"Seidou taught me about 'justice' and 'effort.' About trying your best even when fear takes you by the throat. About finding your beliefs and fighting for them with all that you've got. And of course, you see where Seidou ended up, hah?" The smile faded just slightly into something both distorted and content. " **…So, really, this is what all of you would want, isn't it?** " He flipped the blade in his hand back towards his throat. " **Surely, then, this is _happiness_.** "

" **Wh… what the hell are you** _ **talking**_ **about?** " Seidou demanded, and Shintaro looked at him dully. " **Y…y** ou… That doesn't make any goddamn SENSE!" Seidou ran his hands through his pale locks. "Are you _shitting me_?"

"Quite the contrary."

"You can't just _do that_!"

"…Why not?"

Seidou gestured wildly at the scissors. "You can't—WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED?" He began stepping forward, completely flummoxed frustration. "You were JUST TELLING ME like, _fifteen minutes ago_ how STUPID I was being and now you want to KILL YOURSELF? _WHAT THE FUCK?_ "

"I just came to a conclusion, as all," he said. "I mean," – he flashed a smile – "…you helped."

Seidou stared, unable to comprehend the turnaround that had just occurred. " _WHAT?_ "

"After all, I thought maybe I could get through to you—at least, I think that was what was going through my head. But now that even that notion is gone and it's obvious that I've lost you, why even try? **The truth has been right in front of me all along. Ayano showed me 'happiness.' And you, I know now that efforts all lead up to nothing. Something like 'justice' doesn't exist. This world is wrong. Right?** " That smile again. "Yes, you both saved me… You saved me from my own hopes and dreams. You saved me from the illusion of that's why… I should just slit my throat and end it here, right?"

"YOU CAN'T _DO THAT!_ " he bellowed, and as he went to grab the scissors from Shintaro's pale hand, the hikkiNEET turned on him and plunged the blade into the mucous membrane of Seidou's left eyeball. "Gh—aa—" Seidou staggered backwards and hissed in pain as he brought one hand to his eye and the other to the handle of the scissors. "Aa… **ggh… god—fucking…!** "

"Those things don't work on any other part of your body but the mucous membrane of the eye," Shintaro stated, watching emotionlessly as Seidou dropped to one knee and tugged at the thing sticking from his eye socket, making choked utterances of agonized bitterness. "You're not the only one who suffers, idiot." He drew up one of his knees to his chest, seeming rather bored while he looked down on this supposed hero of his, who was now pulling the scissors slowly from his eye, gasping and pressing his palm to the injured socket. "I get it now." He was musing in distant thoughtfulness, a dull reflection. "For me, it's nothing at all… The worst part of me; it's not feeling a thing. It's, static." He looked idly at his own hands. "I'm unplugged, like some kind of machine—aa… it's no wonder our blood tastes of iron. We are all machines, aren't we?" He looked with a mirthless smile back to the starless sky. "And if the worst of me is an icy disconnection, how can you right that with a cure I can't feel? Jeez, how cruel…"

" _ **Asshole**_ ," Seidou growled, holding tightly to the scissors. The blood ran from his closed eye like crimson tears.

"Will you kill me now?"

The scissors were swiftly jabbed into Shintaro's shoulder, and the bitter NEET was slammed into the ground, back first. Seidou, atop him, growled in distaste. " **Stop talking, will you?** "

Shintaro didn't answer. He merely looked up at Seidou, devoid of expression besides a flicker of pain hiding behind those impassive eyes.

" **You're not supposed to** _ **not respond,**_ **either—** " he hissed, stabbing him again. The darkness began building in those grey eyes, and Seidou found satisfaction in this subtle answer. " **Is it better if it's with your own weapon? Hah?** " He just kept gouging at him." **Do you love this? Or hate it? Would you like it in YOUR eye, you little SHIT?** "

Seidou didn't stop until Shintaro began to smile… at which the half-ghoul paused with the scissors and raised what would have been an eyebrow, sneering derisively. " **What's that look? What's that?** "

"Do you think I care? Do you really, really think I care?"

Seidou glowered at him, bordering on appall. This was the same hikkiNEET from before, right? " **What the fuck's WRONG with you?** " he cried in exasperation, angrily throwing the scissors to the side and getting back to his feet. " **What the fuck even—shit…** "

"Hm?" He eyed the half-ghoul from his place on the ground. "Try that blade you cut me with. It was Roppi's, right? It's called the Harrowing Blade, and if you draw someone's blood, it draws out the worst of that person."

"… **And…** "

"And you cut me with it, dumbass."

Seidou blinked with his one good eye. " **Then why the FUCK did he cut ME with it?!** "

"It was supposed to sever your strings as a puppet. After we purged the effects of it, you wouldn't be under the influence of the game masters anymore."

" **Under the—what?** "

"Well, anyway…" – he slowly sat up as he spoke, now – "…guess I'm stuck like this now."

" **Like what? A suicidal piece of shit? That STABS PEOPLE'S EYES?** "

"Something like that."

Seidou sighed heavily. " **Well, at this point,** " he uttered, " **maybe it would be better to kill you after all.** "

"It wouldn't matter anyway. I'd come back. Just like Roppi will come back, and Akira will come back, and so will everyone else…" Tilting his head, Seidou peered down into orbs now glowing red. "It's all pointless. Maybe the only answer for the ending of this stupid story is one without me in it."

"… **Your eyes are glowing red,** " Seidou pointed out.

"No shit, Sherlock. I see you've gotten no more observant since your time-skip."

Seidou looked offended. " **Fuck you. What's that about, then?** "

"I'm dead," he said, and Seidou just looked at him. Just—looked at him. Skepticism was written on his features in stone.

" **You're** _ **what**_ **?** "

"I died, just like Konoha died and Ayano died. Apparently I've died more times than I can count—well, that's a lie, but I don't feel like counting."

" **So you're dead—literally.** "

"Yep. Pretty fucking fantastic. Not even just this game, but back home." The distorted sneer spread over his face again, and Seidou scowled. "Yeah, that's right, this game has happened more than once. I would never have told anyone of the routes where I'd gone rotten. How about the ones where _I_ had the Harrowing Blade? What about the ones where I became a killer? Heh… No matter how kind I am one time or another, I can't erase from this god-forsaken memory the fact that I'm a murderer too. Hah, you've killed Roppi… How terrible. So have I."

Seidou was doing a lot of wordless staring in this conversation. And now he had only one eye to stare with. How unfortunate.

"Let's see, when was it that time? Soon after the fight where Tsuki and Shizuo and Yukine had died, when he had snapped at me. I killed him the next morning, then killed myself. How's that for an ending? Let's see—I've smothered Touka in her sleep once, waited until she suffocated and then laughed when Kaneki killed Light Yagami, who he thought did the job. It was okay, though, because he killed me next…"

" **So you're telling me that we've played this game however many times, and sometimes you're an asshole. What's your point?** " Looking into those luminescent eyes, he became distinctly aware of the inhuman eye that now bled down to his chin. He thinned his lips, feeling a dim discomfort.

He shrugged carelessly. "There is no point. That's just it. I mean, you've had your good routes and bad routes too."

" **Tch… Those don't matter at all—they're over, aren't they? And it's not like I can remember them; they might as well not even exist. For us… I mean.** " He scratched at his head. " **It's one thing to be stuck in the past, but that's just…** **This game is** _ **this game**_ **, and so, eh, we should stick to this one.** "

"Alright then, what's the next step now, Owl?"

His lip curled. " **Okay,** " he muttered, " **you really need to—not be like this.** "

"Yeah?" His eyebrows were raised.

" **You're** _ **really**_ **pissing me off,** " Seidou informed him, and Shintaro blinked slowly, unfazed.

"Why, because the worst part of me is the part that you hated most in the first place? I mean, no kidding. After all, you've hated me this whole time anyway, haven't you?"

" **How do I reverse this stupid thing?** " he growled, taking the Harrowing Blade back out of his pocket and squinting at it. He flicked it open and grabbed on both ends, about to snap it in half.

"That's a good thought," Shintaro sighed, "but the answer is in connections and bonds and whatever." He waved his hand nonchalantly to nothing in particular. "And seeing as the worst part of me is someone that epitomizes disconnection, I'd say we're screwed."

" **Wait—then how the fuck did you expect to purge me? Or—whatever?** "

"That was Akira. Even if you won't admit it, she was the most important person to you, or at least one of them."

" **Why you—** " He jumped at him suddenly, and then Shintaro was being held in the air by his neck.

The boy only gazed down at him impassively, not even making a move to loosen the grip with his weak hands. "Well—you don't seem… to be harrowed anymore, so—it worked, didn't it?"

Seidou dropped him, turning away and pacing around the premises.

"Not that it really matters anymore," Shintaro added, rubbing absently at his now-bruised neck. "Since, you know, you're still a 'filthy traitor' and all."

" **Shut up, will you?** " he snipped.

"I'm only being exactly what I really am – an arrogant and callous bastard." A cruel smirk. "Exactly what you hate most, right, Seidou?"

" **Oh my god…** " He uttered, bringing his hands to his face and dragging them down slowly. " **Ugh… You're right—you're right, I hate you, completely and utterly.** "

"Like you hate Roppi?" He actually chuckled. "Like you hate Akira?"

He whipped his head to look at him, but Shintaro didn't so much as flinch. Clicking his tongue, Seidou closed his one other eye. " **I'm going to keep you with me for now… For—my own purposes. I'm going to use you to save my own skin, that's all.** "

"And that makes sense how?"

" **How does it make sense that you've made it this far at all, shut-in?** "

He shrugged. "I guess that's a good point."

" **Exactly.** " And, grabbing the other by the collar of his red jersey, Seidou hoisted Shintaro over his shoulder, grabbed the machine gun from the ground, ignored the harrowed one's bitter protests, and began to move again.


	43. Secret

"Come morning, what should we do? Rika…" Hanyuu wrung her wrists, her eyes wide and worried. Her eyes flickered to the immobile Yukiteru, now only a dark shape on the ground as he rested. Around them were an assortment of rusty rakes and shovels and the like, and only the dim sliver of moonlight from beneath the shed door served to illuminate them now. Rika didn't dare move for fear of making the old floor creak. At this point, Yukki was probably easy to awaken.

"We remain with Yukiteru," she answered under her breath. "I shall not leave him as he is. We'll keep him from doing anything too terribly rash, right? We do not want him following the same path as Rena… Keiichi… or for that matter, A-ya."

"Then what do you want us to do?" Hanyuu fretted. "We can't just continue following him aimlessly. You know he wants to find A-ya, but then what? Then what? It doesn't sound like a good ending, no, not at all…"

"Maybe not." Rika stared up into the ceiling, which looked like a black chasm in the lighting they were provided. "From here, we need to find the group of the boy named Shintaro. You said they were about to embark on something risky… so perhaps you should see the results of that event. Even if Shintaro were to have perished… there is still Kaneki, of whom you've told me is on a good path this time."

"Th…that's true…"

"If you can assess that group and let me know where they are taking shelter now, then we will try to lead Yukiteru in that direction. At the very least, it will provide a support system for him… and I find that to be very important at this time."

Hanyuu nodded. Rika could see her easily, illuminated solely by her holy radiance. She was unlike regular light in that it did not touch upon any of the solid objects around them. "You're right, of course… It's just—is it really fine to leave here?"

"I'd be fine, but you can wait until tomorrow if you want. If you were to keep an eye out for any dangers while we sleep, it would assure me of our safety. Wake me if anything goes wrong, and then I will wake Yukiteru in turn."

"I can do that," she said with a moderate amount of relief. "It would make me feel better, too…"

"I almost wonder if—hm…"

"Wh…what's that, Rika?"

"I'm considering telling Yukiteru about you. Do you think it would help, or hurt? I can't say I know the answer myself…"

"I—I mean, I-I don't know either, so…" She twiddled her fingers as Rika sighed lightly.

"That's fine. I suppose I wouldn't reveal you without your consent anyway."

"O-of course… Thank you…"

"No, that's nothing at all." She paused, contemplating. "You can scout out that other group tomorrow. For now, I should also sleep… I shouldn't be too much of a hypocrite here."

"Er, yes…"

"Goodnight, Hanyuu."

"Gh—goodnight…"

Yukiteru, at their side, stared emptily into the black, facing away from them. _'Hanyuu'? I wonder if she knows I can hear her talking to herself._ He closed his eyes. _I'd suppose not._

* * *

Nora listened to the steady breathing of her master. She was smiling to herself, as he had drifted at last into slumber. She shifted to look up into his face, at rest despite the crease between his eyebrows, suggesting a disturbance. Brushing the hair from his face with care, she savored this moment of closeness before slipping from his side and getting to her feet again. Nora would need to get moving quickly – time was of the essence. It wouldn't be night forever, and she knew quite well that Yato wouldn't be asleep for long.

She took a moment to sense their surroundings, only to find the silence and the trees. If she was quick about this, she could leave him be without worrying for his safety. With all that Yato had done, it was virtually impossible in-game to wipe him out in his sleep – the game masters wouldn't allow it. And on that token, if he were to wake up in time to fight, he'd surely do just fine, being the God of Calamity that he was. If this went as planned, she wouldn't take long anyway.

Glancing once to the face of C-ta – Yato had closed the lids of his glassy, dead eyes – that doll's smile touched her lips again. _All because those two have perished,_ she mused, and looked to her master with that jaded warmth. _I hope to return to you,_ she thought, and disappeared.

The sound of a water droplet falling blissfully into a pond met the ears of the dark-clad demon, checking over his job of splinting his broken wrist. When the jaded spirit appeared before him, he immediately got to his feet, scarlet eyes flashing.

"I don't mean to surprise you," Nora smiled, spreading her arms with her palms open to him. "I want to talk. That is… with both of you."

A-ya's eyes narrowed, already in the fighting stance. The human was already asleep, so the serpent was even more irked by such an encounter. He quirked an eyebrow, bringing his injured hand to the crook of his opposite arm and raising his good hand to his face, smiling. " _Ah? Do you really think a proposal is such a good idea, showing up like this? Fool. I could kill you here, and your foolish master would be caught without a weapon._ "

"I came of my own accord," she explained sweetly, eyes narrowing in that pleasurable way.

The possessed one frowned, suspicion pooling in his eyes. " _Why should I believe you, Stray? Give me a reason not to kill you—I have nothing stopping me, you see. Loner is currently asleep, meaning I have full control of this body._ "

"I would prefer to speak with both you and that boy A-ya," she admitted, "though on the premise of believing me… Well, Yato wouldn't send me here on my own, for one thing. He would worry for my safety, of course he would." Her smile spread, if slightly. "Also, Yato hates you invariably. Not only are you a demon, Serpent, but you are also the one who gave the order to eliminate that new Shinki he cared for so much."

 **Loner, you may want to be awake for this exchange,** thought the serpent, and A-ya began to stir somewhere deep in their consciousness. " _Alright, so you came here of your own accord. But do you really think that this changes the fact that you are my enemy?_ "

"It doesn't get me a free pass, I know that…" Childishly, the spirit crouched there on the ground, cradling her chin with her red-marked hands. She looked up at the possessed one with a warm look that said she was not fearful. Obviously she did not expect to fight. "But I think we can strike a deal, if you take the time to listen to my proposal."

" _What could we get out of this?_ " he snarled, and she offered him a closed-eye smile.

"If you agree to what I ask of you, then I will make sure that Yato will not exterminate you – that is, as his holy weapon, I won't let him end you like he ended the other demon in-game. I heard about that, somewhere along the line. Isn't that what you're most afraid of?"

By now, A-ya was awake and alert, his senses mingling with those of the demon possessing him. " **What sort of thing are you proposing?** " they asked, and she blinked.

"Ah… A-ya is awake now, is he? I'm glad…" She stood and advanced a few paces before the dark-clad one began charging up with red electricity.

" _I'd suggest you don't come closer,_ " said the demon, and she tilted her head.

"Ah, I just find his eyes so pretty… That's all. I'd like to get a better look."

"I'd rather stick to business," A-ya said flatly. " _You should know how much danger you're in right now._ After all…" They smiled. " **Even if your offer is legitimate,** " they said, " **then it wouldn't mean anything if Yato doesn't have a holy weapon to purge us with. Right?** "

She brought one of her hands to her mouth, the sleeve of her kimono covering all but her fingers. Her eyes glittered, perhaps with amusement. "That's true," she agreed. "If you were to eliminate me, Yato would not have a weapon any longer. But if you were to kill me, he'd have even more reason to kill you… And as a God of Calamity, Yato is still a very strong opponent, even without a Shinki. Looking at you… well, your condition has worsened, too, has it not?"

They frowned, and that was enough answer for her.

"I thought as such. So then, that proposal of mine… Well, all I ask is that you do not target Yato. If ever you are near when he is in danger, as well… I would like for you to aid him. Even if it's from afar – there's no need for you to put yourselves in danger in the process of protecting him. After all, you are enemies."

A-ya's eyes narrowed.

"In return, we won't target you, either."

" _If you're doing this on your own, how can we expect the god to adhere to these conditions?_ " the demon hissed.

"Because I'm his weapon," she smiled sweetly. "And he trusts me. So if I decide not to do something, he will follow my lead, just as I will always follow him."

"The fact that you're coming to us with this proposal at all means that Yato is in a bad state himself," said A-ya. "Doesn't this attempt at an underground alliance imply desperation?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say 'desperation'… In fact, I'd have to say that we're in the same boat as you. At this point, both groups of ours are going to be the primary targets of every other group. Wouldn't you say? And knowing that both of our groups are technically only one entity fighting for themselves, it's certainly a dangerous route for either of us. That being said, it would be foolish for either of us to go after each other… because we, as 'antagonists,' will end up destroying ourselves. I think that this is accurate, right?"

There was silence for some time. " _…You're not incorrect,_ " the demon eventually admitted.

"Of course not." She closed her eyes, folding her fingers together in front of her. "It is rather nostalgic, talking with you like this… Ah, that is—not you, Serpent, you must forgive me. A-ya…"

"What do you mean?" He was still as monotone as ever.

"For me, after all… Mm, sneaking off like this and speaking alone – call it a conspiracy, if you wish… But I once made a similar alliance with a girl around your age. Yes, that was in these very games – the parallel one, of course."

A-ya's eyes flickered with something that could have been muted curiosity.

Nora looked with her own jaded eyes into his. "Her name was B-ko."

"You worked with B-ko?" A-ya asked her immediately, distaste writhing in him originating in the serpent.

"Was she a friend of yours?"

"I…" A-ya hesitated, then bowed his head. "…No, maybe something like that… But, I don't I think I could call her anything like a 'friend.' I—don't know the meaning of that word." He did not think of time spent after school with her, C-ta, and D-ne. He did not think of knowing C-ta as long as he could remember. And he most certainly did not think about the sensation of holding Yukiteru's hand beneath the stars.

"Mm, I see." She closed her eyes again. "She seemed to take kindly to you, at least. There was someone in particular that she wished to return to, and when I spoke with her, I do believe that yours was the name she uttered."

A-ya looked at her without expression, only a slight stirring of something sorrowful in his eyes. " _Why bring this up? She's gone now anyway, and isn't of consequence._ "

"Maybe so, but you and I seem to have something in common, after all."

" _Hah?_ **What's that?** "

"Being nameless… or one with many names, it's all the same, isn't it, Serpent?" She smiled that sweet smile again. "But more importantly," she said warmly, "both of us are the reason that Yato is back to the way he used to be."

" **Oh?** "

"You, who are the source of Yukine's death… And I, who led B-ko by the hand and, together with her, killed Hiyori Iki."

They gazed into her as she revealed her secret. Joyous, she brought her thin fingers gently to her mouth. "It was her that made him soft. The Dullahan, I knew she had the most potential to save him, that's right. So now that both of them are dead and gone, the Yato I remember is truly back." Such jaded exultation. "I couldn't be happier."

Returning to the situation at hand, she smiled again at the possessed one before her. "So? What will the decision be?"

* * *

Izaya Orihara's eyes flickered beneath closed lids. He came to gradually, returning into consciousness and realizing one thing at a time. He felt he was on his back. Then he felt the pain begin to register again, trickling into his awareness unpleasantly. When he opened his eyes, he saw the first rays of dawn spilling onto the ground just out of his reach, pouring from the open front door. His gaze shifted to Celty, lying just nearby. He noted her stillness, and the way he was lying in a shallow pool of her smoky shadows.

"…You…," he croaked, then rolled over onto his side to cough, an involuntary motion that sent pain vibrating through the core of his body. After he was done, he uttered, "…You shouldn't even be dead." He recalled the knowledge that she was a being without a heartbeat. Where was it that she had been stabbed but in a heart that didn't even beat? How could she have died in such a way? The thought of Shinra – the one who loved Celty, and the one who could arguably be considered as the closest thing Izaya had to a friend – finding out about this incident struck the information broker, and he rolled onto his back again, grimacing. "Jeez…" He brought his dark-sleeved arm to his eyes, jaw clenched. "What a pain…"

 _Is it my fault? Does that matter?_ He raised his hands above him, looking at them in the morning light to see them shaky and stained with red. Closing his eyes in distaste, he pressed his palms to the floor and pushed himself slowly, painfully into a sitting position. His breathing already mildly labored, he looked around him to take in what there was to gather. He found his pocketknife cast to the side, and picked it up in slow-motion. The Prophet was still in its stupid plastic sheath. "Miraculously," he smirked without mirth, "I'm still alive. Call it a twist of fate… but I…" With effort, Izaya got to his feet, pausing a moment to find his balance. "…I'm not gone quite yet…"

He limped towards the back door, using the wall as support once he was close enough. He did not notice the smear of red he left with his fingers. He began to assemble what pieces he could find of himself, trying to put into words exactly how he felt. He was raw in a way, and he likened this sensation to naked vulnerability. He tried to put back together the shell he lived in, tried to put some kind of mask back on, but somehow it felt like it no longer fit. Perhaps they had been damaged beyond repair. Would he need to makeshift a new skin?

"It sounds so vexatious," he sighed as he reached the back door and leaned there on the doorframe for some time. He was swathed, suddenly, in something more than Celty's shadows. "It's too quiet," he said, his hoarse voice barely a whisper.

The atmosphere began to lighten as the sun rose higher. Izaya watched the tops of the trees glitter and glow like fool's gold. "Yes," he seemed to agree with no one in particular, "I fear isolation, after all, yet I'm discomfited by the thought of someone seeing me this way. Really, the truth is that I'm never _not_ being watched." Smiling without feeling, he shut his eyes. "Knowing that this is entertainment for the masters of the game, I'd imagine there's some way to watch all of us at all times… Isn't that right, whoever you are?" He paused, as though to let them answer. "…I know what it is you want me to do next. Why? Well, if I were you, I'd want this player Izaya Orihara to do that, too. How hilarious would that be? How tantalizingly easy – a sardonic twist for sure. I'd be so ecstatic I'd want to vomit—how can you contain yourselves, I wonder?" He laughed a foreign laugh. "Well…"

He looked to the gradient of blue called sky, detached. "I'd rather not feel a thing," he said gravely, wrapping one of his arms over the injury in his gut. "I'm not sure when, but I've gotten sick of playing games… Maybe it's just no fun when all my favorite pieces on the board keep disappearing." With a light sigh, he returned his gaze to the land before him. In the morning light, he could see the bloody imprint on the lawn, the grass bowing in respect to someone once fallen. "Mm?" Something nearby this splotch caught his eye – a dark blue rectangle amongst the green of the grass.

He approached it slowly but surely, leaning down with his arm practically plastered over his stomach as he reached with his other hand for what he found was a notebook. "Ah… surely it couldn't be Akise-kun's?" He wanted to feel more curious than he did, but right now everything seemed unappealing and dull. He opened it anyway, of course, flipping through the pages to see copies of Izaya's own information sheets scribbled inside. Without expression or verbal response, Izaya removed his other arm from his abdomen and reached in his pocket to pull out the info sheets, old and new, to compare. He blinked at the blood-soaked pages before tossing them carelessly to the side. He had them mostly memorized anyway.

With that, he continued leafing carefully through the pages of this new source – it had not only the original records of the start of the game, but also the records of all of the females, and of course the updated information regarding newer people such as Twelve or Suzuya. Amongst these tiny letterings, there were even smaller notes besides, like footnotes reminding the owner of the journal of the specifics: A-ya is possessed by the one once called Kuroha, and Groups 1 and 2 have had the longest-standing alliance… things like that.

The journal went on to record the species and weapon of every player. Izaya thought to be impressed, cocking his head as he continued skimming. Looked like from here it got to even touchier subjects – theories about truths and lies and the like. You know, how the game was fake, or whether it was fake… What the real goals of the game were, and what the game masters did or didn't want. There was a section on the game masters and their relations to the players – possible contacts made with known players, any abilities they may have jurisdiction over… Izaya got to the page titled ' _The Unspoken Rule_ ' before he clapped the thing shut and pocketed it.

"Strange that Akise-kun would leave this behind…," he remarked. He decided he would look at it again when he knew he could pay more mind to what he was reading. That is, he assured himself that in time he would be ready to play again, but for now… for now it was beyond his interest. He did know, however, that he couldn't stay put, so Izaya set out that morning on autopilot. His plan for now was of simple essentials – he needed to wash himself off. He needed to clean and tend to his wounds. And through all this, he needed to remember not to think too terribly much about the situation he might be in. He needed rationality back. He needed himself back. He needed 'Izaya Orihara' back.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, there," he said almost mockingly to himself as he started out. "One step at a time."


	44. Active

"I think it's about time we take full action," said the half-ghoul Kaneki in all firmness. He, Konoha, and Shirou had returned to the others safely the night before, and had spent the night resting in that same house, taking turns on one-man night shifts. Kaneki had, with new resolve, decided to get everyone up and moving early in the morning to set a plan in stone.

"We need motive and purpose from here on," he continued. "We cannot remain on defense for too much longer."

"Ah, it's about time," Rin uttered, earning a frown from Shirou.

Kaneki didn't remark upon it. "I think from here on we need to take a more active role here in these games – otherwise, we'll find ourselves picked off one by one, as we have been for however long. The group we have here now is perfect for hunting practices. We couldn't ask for anything more, could we?" Smiling gently, he touched his chin. "In order not to lose what we have now, we need to take out the ones we know threaten our safety. I think that can be agreed upon, yes?"

"The antagonists do need—to go," Shirou said grudgingly.

"That snake… for example," Konoha said quietly.

"We should probably keep in mind," said Shinichi with closed eyes, "that the serpent you speak of is possessing a new vessel… who may not be at fault."

"Regardless of that fact," Kaneki said Shinichi, "we have no means of exorcising that boy. It may be in his and our best interests to kill him, it comes down to that."

"Does that mean we're going after that one?" asked Hide, still smiling lopsidedly despite the worried furrow between his brows and the way he rubbed at his arm. "Sounds like quite the project, Kaneki…"

Kaneki cast a softened gaze over Hide, that smile still touching his pale lips. "Actually… on the contrary, I'd prefer not to approach him immediately."

"We're going after Shintaro, right?" asked Shirou.

"Shintaro is in trouble," Konoha said softly. "He…"

"No." Kaneki's eyes were closed – eyelids were great barriers against telling others your feelings, after all. "We're not going after them."

"What? It's not a rescue mission?" Shinichi asked, his usual detached expression breaking into vague surprise.

Shirou was more visibly shocked. "We're not going after Shintaro? Why not? He could still be alive, couldn't he? We've gotta go find him while we can!"

"We…?" Konoha just looked slightly more confused than usual.

"Please hear me out," Kaneki said calmly. "If we go after Seidou and Shintaro now, it will only result in the same outcome as every time before. That is not an offensive mission so much as it is a rescue mission. There are still two power players we have to worry about besides Seidou himself – and keep in mind, we still don't know what he intends to do with Shintaro. It's true that Roppi died by his hand, but from my perspective, Seidou was not precisely attuned to his own actions at the time. I don't see him killing Shintaro by any means… At present, it's a hypothetical that we can't afford to ponder too much. Were we to go after them now, the other power players would use it as another opportunity to take one of us out while we were busy."

"That does seem to be a recurring trope," Shinichi admitted, mildly lost.

"So we target the power players," Rin nodded. "I think that's the best option too, but in that case, why not go after the possessed kid? He interfered with our most recent plot, didn't he? He's caused us the most trouble, at least from what I know."

"He is the one that ambushed us in the city, too," Shirou frowned, rubbing uncomfortably at the side of his neck.

"Ah, Rin-chan," Hide smiled weakly, "is that a quest of logic or revenge?"

"Both," she sniffed, crossing her legs. "The revenge half is obvious, but if this guy's the most immediate threat, then we should take care of him as soon as possible. Ideally, we kill him, but even if we just injure him, that would be enough to let him know that we're going to fight back if he tries to mess with us anymore. If this guy has brought the most problems, it should consequently be our first priority to solve that as soon as possible. Isn't that right?"

"I… think so," said Shirou, "but then…"

"Well, I mean, think about it," said Hide with a shrug. "Right now – think about Takizawa-san! We may not know where he's at or what he's doing or what he's _planning_ to do… but here's this: Mado-san was the one that we thought could snap him out of it, right? And this kid A-ya, he's the one that killed Mado-san… Look, I know that Takizawa's a little bit irrational right now, but if I were him, _I'd_ wanna go after this A-ya guy. And if we go after A-ya, and Takizawa is also going after A-ya… I wouldn't know what to expect from him if he confronted us again. Whatever the case, I don't expect it to be pleasant. I think Kaneki's point… is something along those lines, yeah?" He swiveled his gaze back to his childhood friend, who looked rather grateful to Hide's commentary.

"Yes, that is… exactly my thoughts." The half-ghoul bowed his head. "In which case… I propose that we go after Yato. It was inopportune circumstances when I last saw him, but he seems to still be in a bad state. He has attacked our group as a whole once, killing Saiko. Knowing that he is a god of sorts, that makes him a strong opponent. Since then, I faced him once when I was harrowed – it seems that Seidou had tailed him for some time and has dealt his own damage on him. Although Yato once held an alliance with us, he has betrayed that whole-heartedly. It is true that he forewarned me of Kuroha's return, but on that token, he killed one of us in that same battle. Perhaps such a passage of information was his way of apologizing for his change of character, but that only retains the argument that he is no longer a friend, but a foe.

"We can no longer take into consideration the possibility of saving any one of the power players remaining, because if our past attempts have taught us anything, it's that such efforts yield only negative results. We must fight them with the intent to kill, or we will continue to die and the game itself will never end. Therefore, today's mission is one to exterminate the god Yato."

"Alright!" Hide chirped heartily, and Kaneki's brow furrowed just slightly as he was given the grim reminder that there wasn't anywhere really 'safe' that his friend could be kept.

"What's the plan?" asked Shinichi, head tilted.

Everyone was looking to Kaneki in rapt attention. "Of course, I want to hear everyone else's input, as well… But this is what I have in mind."

* * *

Yato woke up to Nora crouched in front of him, her doll's smile on her features. "Good morning, Yato," she greeted sweetly.

"You left sometime last night…" He ran a hand through his dark purple hair; he had a headache. "What were you up to?"

"Oh, nothing important," she assured him. "I was patrolling the area – I thought I sensed Seidou Takizawa nearby, and wanted to make sure he wasn't headed this way. He wasn't."

"…Right," he grunted as he got to his feet.

"How are your wounds, Yato?"

"They're fine. I'm fine." He looked off somewhere through the trees that wasn't towards the fallen C-ta. "I just need to lay low for a while. Everyone's going to be out to get us, but the best thing's to hide… My greatest concern is Kuroha's new vessel…" He paused. "…That, and Yukki. I'm sure… he isn't pleased with me."

"Then we should get moving, huh?" She took him by the hand, and he looked at their contact without much response.

"Yeah. Here's a bad place to be – we're right in the middle of everyone, I think. We either wait or try to maneuver outta here." He rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "This situation isn't an easy deal. If we do wait, they'll either make an opening sometime, or they'll close in on us."

"Seidou Takizawa is moving away from us with one other," Nora offered. "We could bide our time until there is a clear path in that direction."

"Mm…" He nodded. "We just can't wait too long, or we're screwed."

There was another pause, but yet again Nora only smiled at him.

"You have no idea what fear feels like, do you?" he sighed.

"I'm sure that everything will turn out fine," she said, embracing him gently. "When it's you and I, I know we can manage just fine…"

He blinked down at her, then looked off to nowhere again, putting his hand on her head. "…Yeah."

* * *

"It's morning."

Shintaro, slung over Seidou's shoulder still, sighed. "I know," he said. "The sun's right in my face."

Seidou's lip curled. "I _thought_ you were sleeping. You're quiet enough."

"I have nothing to say. It's not like you'll put me down if I ask. I see no reason to complain or anything, and if I said everything that was on mind, I'd probably drive you nuts. Well—more nuts," he corrected himself. He maintained sincere monotony throughout his explanation. "And if you want the truth, I don't want you shrieking at me anymore. It's harsh on the ears."

Seidou stiffened. "Go back to being quiet," he grumbled.

"Sure."

Seidou sighed harshly. "I'll drop you." He was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, now. Shintaro looked down to the streets below. It wouldn't exactly be a shortdrop.

"Okay," answered the NEET, dull but agreeable.

"I can't even _threaten_ you…"

"Then stop trying. You'd think you'd learn by now that trying gets no one anywhere, does it?"

Seidou stopped with his travelling, halting abruptly at the edge of a three-story building's roof. " _Try_ _ **ing… gets no one anywhere, huh?**_ "

"Pretty much. Look where it got you."

"… **I hate you.** "

"Okay."

Seidou clicked his tongue in irritation. " **This was inevitable, regardless. Better like this.** "

"Whatever you say." Shintaro closed his eyes, unbothered. He did release a grunt of surprise at the jerking sensation that followed – he almost thought that Seidou had dropped him off the roof after all.

But no, the half-ghoul had only jumped down into the street below, looking around as if searching for something. The mild surprise faded back into static numbness. He stared without expression into the cracks lining the asphalt beneath Seidou's feet. He thought that perhaps he recognized this street. A spatter of red there – _It's paint._ He blinked slowly at the darker smear nearby. _That_ was blood. This must have been the area where he and Roppi had faced Izaya's group – how long ago was that, now?

 _Four days, huh._ It was still rather impressive – they'd been here nine days total, now. So much had happened, hadn't it? Well, that's all about perspective.

Shintaro emerged from his flat musings when Seidou went through the doors of one of the buildings and dropped the red-jerseyed one at last. Even though he was dropped to his feet, the suddenness of it made Shintaro's head spin – it was uncomfortable having your blood collect in your head for so long. At the consequent head rush, he fell to a sitting position. When the stars left his eyes, the machine gun was at Shintaro's side and Seidou was gone.

Shintaro narrowed grey eyes. Did Seidou just leave him there? Wow.

"Oi, think fast," came the voice of the Owl, and Shintaro looked up just in time to catch something flying through the air at him.

He looked blankly at what he'd been given, rolling over a red can in his hands: Coca-Cola. When he looked back up again, Seidou was right in front of him, towering over him with his pale arms crossed over his dark-cloaked chest.

"You like this stuff, right?" he scowled down at him, and Shintaro stared at him in silence. His gaze slowly went back to the drink, his brow furrowing.

"…It's okay," he answered indifferently, opening it with a _hiss_.

Seidou's eye narrowed to a slit, his lips parting. "You're fucking kidding me."

"What?"

The half-ghoul ran a hand through his white hair, ever exasperated. " _Come on!_ You were practically swooning over the stuff!" He watched as Shintaro shrugged, then took a sip. "Do you feel a thing? Anything? Nothing?"

"I guess it's kinda pleasant," Shintaro offered. "It, um… tastes good." He cocked an eyebrow. "Did you expect something else?"

Seidou could only bring a hand harshly to his own forehead. " _No,_ " he answered through gritted teeth.

"…Right." Unconvinced, the harrowed one smiled a lopsided, dry smile. "Oh, right, because a can of soda could snap me out of this. Cheers." He began to gulp down his favorite drink, eyes closed. He choked on it, sputtering when he felt himself getting stabbed in the side of the arm. Icy, he glared at Seidou, who was now crouched next to him with the Harrowing Blade buried in the flesh of Shintaro's shoulder. "…What," he said lowly, "…are you doing."

Seidou peered at him with a form of suspicious hope, or something of the sort. "…Are you better?"

Annoyed, Shintaro pulled his arm away from the blade, wiping at the cola that had run down his chin with tired, hateful eyes. " _No,_ dumbass. Do you really think stabbing me again is gonna reverse it?"

Seidou's lips were thinned into near nothing. "It might've."

"Well you were wrong," Shintaro scoffed. Seidou stabbed him again. "What the hell? I said it won't work, damn it…"

"That time I just wanted to stab you."

Shintaro's mouth twitched.

Clicking his tongue, the owl furled himself there, his cloak covering his bent knees and his bare, black-nailed toes. He frowned disapprovingly at Shintaro. "This is stupid."

The raven-haired one just stared at him, deadpan. "Yeah? I'd say troublesome."

"This is ridiculous," Seidou frowned. Before the other could answer him again, he continued, " _I should not be having this conversation with you_."

"Which one?" Dully, he took another sip.

Seidou didn't answer, burying his face in his knees and muttering " _Stupid, stupid, stupid…,_ " over and over.

"What's up with you?"

"YOU CAN'T BE LIKE THIS," he snapped, jerking his head up from his knees.

Shintaro dully rubbed at the ear facing Seidou. "This is what I mean by 'harsh on the ears.'"

" _That's not the POINT._ "

"And the point is," said the NEET, setting down the soda can and leaning back on one of his palms, "that you can't have both of us spouting negativity. I was supposed to inspire you or something. Right?"

Seidou stared at him. "…What."

He held up an index finger. "You keep saying stuff like 'I don't care' or 'I'm the villain' or whatever other stupid angsty line you've got, but the moment I told you that you saved me, you started backpedaling." He shrugged again, his palms to the ceiling. "Not that it really matters. Now I'm harrowed, and you're still just as problematic."

"Problematic?" he spat, questioning. " _Angsty?_ "

"You already knew you were problematic, Seidou," Shintaro sighed, looking bored. "Don't act like it's such a shocker. Isn't that why you disappeared immediately after you got fast-forwarded? You couldn't control yourself, and you knew it. I saw you at that confrontation with A-ya's group, too – night before last, when all the buildings blew up? I can only imagine you were trying to help, only to fail like you always do."

" **What's that supposed to—?** "

"You avoided us just as much as we avoided you." The raven-haired one closed eyes. "Yeah, because we all knew you were problematic – even you knew."

" **You guys—left me, behind—when…** "

"You ran off, and Akira thought it best to leave you be for now because of how volatile you were. Did you expect us to go searching right after you attacked Kaneki and bit a hunk out of Konoha? You weren't exactly rational. Or friendly, for that matter."

" **I…** " His jaw tightened, teeth bared.

"And that's why only the most hopeful of fools thought that you might be able to be saved, you know?" His eyes opened, flickering red momentarily with that thin, cold smirk touching his lips. "Because _nobody_ can fix you, not if you're part of the problem."

"…" Seidou bowed his head, his shoulders bunched around his neck.

"No need to be so upset about it – it's not like you're the only one. After all, the real reason I could never solve the problem surrounding Ayano was that really, _I_ was the problem all along!" He laughed without humor, spreading his arms. " _I'm_ the one who killed her! I can solve anything, _anything_ , that's right – but I can't solve the problem of Shintaro Kisaragi, just like _you_ can't solve the problem of Seidou Takizawa."

" **The—old Seidou Takizawa…was the problem… I—am…** "

"The solution?" Shintaro scoffed, derisive. " _Please._ You're even _worse!_ " He leaned toward the half-ghoul, his grey eyes swirling into crimson. "You can go right ahead and say that you erased the person named Seidou Takizawa, but here you are, even more problematic than before." He barked with harsh laughter. "If the only solution is complete deletion of existence, then it doesn't matter at all! You, you're the same person as you were in the beginning of this game—and me, _I_ know that even if I kill myself, I'll wake up to see the light of yesterday's sun!"

Silently, Seidou stood. "It's thinking like that that's problematic. Asshole." Shintaro frowned up into the bitter face of his apparent captor. "You're a huge fucking contradiction, you know that?"

"And you're not?"

Scoffing, Seidou turned on his heel, beginning towards one of the aisles. "I didn't say that."


	45. Collapse

"We should move south now," said Yato, his tone one of mild urgency.

"Because the largest group is approaching, aren't they?" Nora, as usual, had little to no sense of urgency. Yato only gave a grunt of confirmation as he started through the wood, one arm wrapped over his gut. If he didn't feel the toll yesterday, his wounds were certainly making themselves known now.

"Should we walk?" she inquired, trotting along at his side. "Or should we run?"

"Well, I can't teleport at this point," he uttered, jumping up to one of the tree branches. "Come, Hiiro." As she brought a sleeve to her smiling mouth, his eyes flashed. " _Hiki—_ " As she transformed into her sword form and he gripped her by the hilt, the heel of Kaneki's shoe collided with the back of Yato's head, a downward kick that sent him headfirst towards the ground – he righted himself in time to land in a crouching position. He brought the sword up only to just barely block an attack from Kaneki's scaled appendages known as kagune.

After this initial collision, they diverged from one another, both in fighting position as they skidded along on the forest floor.

"Long time no see, Yato-san," Kaneki spoke calmly.

"Oh," Yato smiled drily, wiping at the blood spotting the corner of his mouth, "…it hasn't been _that_ long…"

"I'm glad to see that you're still around." A similar, softer smile was touching Kaneki's own lips. It was just as cold.

They circled one another slowly. "You're acting like yourself again," commented the god. "You seemed possessed by something or another when last we spoke."

"I've yet to know the monster that puppeteers me from the inside."

"Is that so? Kaneki…"

"You've returned to your vices, yourself, haven't you? God of Calamity."

Yato clicked his tongue and lunged to attack. With a crack of his index finger, Kaneki responded in kind. As they fought, Kaneki spoke. "I must ask my pardon for some of the things I said when I faced you last. At the time, what I said was honest, but it isn't so now."

Yato watched the flickering eyes of Ken Kaneki take on a sheen of knowing warmth that disturbed him. He was struggling to keep up to pace with the half-ghoul. He didn't return in kind the grace of meaningful conversation. He kept his teeth gritted as he dodged and fought and collided and took hits that he knew he couldn't withstand for too long.

"Indeed," said Kaneki, "at the time, I thought to hurt you for my own selfish reasons. Please understand, Yato-san… I don't want to hurt you now. Why am I fighting you, then? Well…" The half-ghoul dodged a swipe of Yato's blade, flipping over him and landing at his back. "The truth is, I wanted to save you."

Their backs to one another, Yato stiffened.

"But we can't do that anymore." Kaneki closed his eyes as Yato wheeled around to attack again, only to be blocked by Kaneki's kagune. "No matter how much you hurt me, I will still think the best of you. That is the curse of my kindness. But you have not only wronged me, but my friends. My teammates. You've killed people close to me, and you've hurt the hearts of others. At this point in time…" He cracked his knuckle again, shifting back from defense to offense. "All I can do is kill you." He smiled at the god. "Forgive me, Yato-san, for I am about to sin."

Yato was pierced through the side; he spun backwards and tumbled on the ground, rolling into the trunk of a nearby tree with a pained yelp.

"I wonder… do you still detest that depravity of yours?" Kaneki asked him softly, looking down on him as he struggled, weak, to his feet. He used his sword for leverage, the blade digging into the earth.

Yato's eyes burned cerulean; his breath was heavy. "That…" He struck at his foe, landing a slash down Kaneki's front. " _…doesn't matter anymore._ " The god picked up his own pace, his will to live feeding the fire of his determination. At last, it seemed like he could be on-par with Kaneki. _This energy won't last long. I need to end this fast._

As they clashed and diverged and clashed again, Yato found himself evenly matched during this small window of vigor he'd managed to muster from within himself. He needed to off Kaneki quick, or else he needed to get out of there. Teleporting wasn't an option right now – what could he do?

" _Neat and clean,"_ said Nora, a warm assurance.

Giving a short nod, Yato kicked off from the ground and prepared to go down on the half-ghoul with all his force. _Alright, Hiiro, let's do it!_

But as he swung his sword down, he was struck with something red and painful midair. He was knocked from his line of motion, landing awkwardly on one of his feet only to collapse to one knee, his breathing haggard. His swing knocked down a collection of trees a yard off from his target. _What—the hell was…?_ He looked through the trees to see an angry face, a hand pointed straight at him. He rolled out of the way just in time to dodge the next curse from Rin Tohsaka's hand.

 _Oh no._ Eyes flicking from Rin to Kaneki, he jumped into the air to dodge another one of his attacks – he needed to hightail it out of there, and fast. Even if Kaneki followed him, Rin still had human speeds, if he remembered anything right.

He made a beeline for the south, Kaneki at his tail. He dodged attacks from the scaled kagune on the way, zig-zagging through the upper branches of the trees as fast as he could go. _Whatever she hit me with—it drains your energy… I can't afford any more hits from that, but I can handle Kaneki, for just a little bit longer…_

A red-static curse burst through the branches just at his side, and he scrambled in another direction, shocked. _But—?_

Looking down, he saw what was wrong: Rin Tohsaka, arm pointed at him, was riding atop the shoulders of Shinichi Izumi, a smug smirk on her face. _How many people are on his side…?_

Her bright blue eyes narrowed, Rin focused in on Yato and shot. With new apprehensive resolve, Yato changed directions again. He dodged well enough not to take a direct hit, but the thing grazed him. Even with that, he could feel his energy getting sapped. He felt dizziness take hold of him momentarily, and he jumped short of the next branch, falling with black hands ghosting over his vision before he caught himself on a lower branch, swinging up and pulling himself together to continue to chase. The power of Kaneki's pained justice and the malice of Rin's pride closed in on him, but none were quite so potent as the dark gaze of Shinichi boring into the god. As he glanced down at him, all he could note was the way his eyes narrowed just slightly, his pupils an abyss of vengeful rage. His lips, Yato saw them mouth the name 'Ciel.'

* * *

"Does everyone know what their stations entail now?" Kaneki asked of everyone, standing among the ravaged part of the residential area, just near where the woods began. There were sounds of comprehension and agreement from the others situated around them. "Everyone go around – I'd like to be sure." He put a hand on his own chest. "I'll be the initial attack – a gauge of Yato's strength and stability. Ideally, he'll think he's only up against me. If things go as they have, he and I will be pretty evenly matched."

"Then I come in," Rin spoke with her own authority, her arms crossed over her chest. "I'll shoot at Yato when he's not expecting it. You can count on me to deplete his energy reserves."

"Or what little he has left," Shinichi said softly, thoughtfully.

"Shinichi will be my transportation," Rin added, jutting her thumb at the partial parasite.

He nodded. "And I will be used solely for speed unless Rin is injured. I'll take her to Hide, in that case. If anyone else is wounded too severely, I pick them up and do the same."

"I'm the medic," Hide beamed. "I'm gonna keep moving around, try to stay close but—you know, not _too_ close. I'll do what I can in the meantime, but it's tough with just a stone knife." He laughed at that, then patted at the medical bag now slung over his shoulder. "But if you're hurt, I've got your back."

Shirou nodded to Hide with a smile. "Konoha and I are the third wave," the redhead said. "For speed, I've got Konoha to take me around. I'll be using my own bow and arrow to shoot at the enemy."

"And if Shirou does not need to move around fast at the moment," Konoha came in with his soft voice, "then I help Kaneki fighting the bad person, right up front. I also am the one to find him."

"Is that everything?" asked Kaneki, his hand to his chin.

Konoha thought about it. "Also, I should listen for other players around us."

"Very good." Kaneki closed his eyes, smiling. "It's still before noon… Let's get moving."

"Let's give this one the best we've got!" Hide raised a fist in the air, grinning wide.

"After all…" – Rin's eyes narrowed – "…this is the guy that killed Tsukiyama, isn't he?"

"Tsukiyama…" Kaneki's eyes were overcast, tired. "…And Saiko…"

Shirou bowed his head in respect to these names. Konoha looked mildly sorrowful.

"Ciel Phantomhive."

Rin and Hide turned to look at the partial parasite, whose single hand was tightened into a white-knuckled fist.

"This person killed Ciel Phantomhive," Shinichi said lowly. "It's high time for him… **to…** "

Hide brought a hand to Shinichi's shoulder, eyes sympathetic. The human paid no mind to Shinichi's menacing gaze suddenly on him. "We'll get 'im," he assured, and Shinichi's expression softened.

The partial parasite nodded with a soft sound of concurrence.

Kaneki's eyes shone with the fortitude to end this. "Shall we?" he asked.

* * *

Yato slammed into the ground after an attack from Kaneki, blood spraying from his mouth on impact. He tried to roll over to dodge Kaneki's next attack, but found himself nearly rolling right into Konoha's fist plowing into the earth from above, shattering the ground and sending Yato into the debris. "Is he trying to _bury me?_ " he cried aloud, clawing his way from under a tree. His ankle throbbed and protested – that didn't matter. Who else was here, now?

Before he could stand fully, he had an arrow through his shoulder, pinning him to the fallen tree. Hissing in frustration, he yanked it out and jumped to the other side of the trunk as Konoha shattered the wood with his fist. Yato could only stare as he watched them all surround him, five opponents in all. Kaneki, calmly standing with his six scaled appendages pointed in Yato's direction. Konoha, in fighting stance, a purified vessel now looking into the God of Calamity with a face as blank as an unpainted canvas. Rin, arm still pointed at him and ready to shoot her energy-draining curses. Shinichi, his dark eyes unforgiving. Shirou, holding up a bow he'd made from a tree branch, wielding arrows made from the same material. Yato swore that there were brown eyes looking into him even from beside the thinning trees beyond them – Hide, holding tight to the medical bag.

 _This is bad,_ he thought. _Damn it._ They just looked at him as the panic rose in his chest. _Damn it._ They weren't even saying anything. _Damn it—damn it, damn it, damn it…!_

" _I don't like how badly they're hurting you,"_ Nora's tones were chilled.

"They're going to _kill_ me, Hiiro," he said tightly. "If they do, get out of here." _You still have enough energy to teleport if you need to, right?_

" _That's right,"_ she agreed. _"But you'll make it. This will be fine. And then we can make them pay."_

"What do you _mean?!_ " he snapped aloud. "Don't you get it? I am _going_ to _die!_ "

"And what was it for?" Kaneki asked, brow furrowed. He tilted his head, going cold. "Is it due to Yukine-kun's loss? Is it that it hurt you so terribly, only for you to take away those which others hold dear to them?"

Jaw tightening, he brought Nora into a defensive position. He didn't answer.

"You know, I'm the last remaining member of my original group, myself," Kaneki said, taking a step towards the God of Calamity. "…Well. In any case, goodbye, Yato."

Yato looked around for a way out. Who could he plow through the quickest? The boy with the red hair? The girl with the dark pigtails? It was true that she was no longer on the shoulders of Shinichi, but he was still just beside her.

"Hiiro, get out of—"

They didn't give him the chance to finish – Konoha and Kaneki lunged at once as from the sky, lightning crackled scarlet, booming around them as it tore through the already-damaged ground and sent Kaneki and Konoha backwards, the android shuddering at the close contact. He sensed the presence of the demon he so feared.

"A-ya?" Shinichi barked in alarm, looking around to try and find the source of the attack.

"An alliance?" Kaneki was just as urgent, poised for an attack in any direction. "No…" He looked into the confused face of Yato. _If that were the case, he wouldn't be…_ "Everyone, don't let it stop you!" he commanded, and everyone looked to him. "Just be careful!"

There was a chorus of concurrence, but as Shirou strung up his bow again, a lightning strike just barely missed him, sending him staggering backwards. The electricity filled their area with static, the atmosphere hyper-charged with the power of the dark-clad hero.

"Where's the source?" Shinichi demanded.

"What's he getting involved for?" snapped Rin.

"Helping Yato?" Shirou asked blankly.

"The most important thing is to kill Yato!" Shinichi said above the confusion. "We can't hesitate!"

"Right!" cried Rin and Shirou respectively, even as Kaneki pushed Konoha away from Yato as he lunged for him himself.

Perched atop a building overlooking the forest not too far away, A-ya smiled. " **You knew that you were going to be attacked soon, didn't you?** " they asked, raising a hand to the sky. " **You're clever, at least.** " He struck them with ease, the electricity dancing below. " **…Nora.** "

* * *

Rika awoke to an empty shed. She sat up immediately, looking to Hanyuu in question.

"Yukiteru," the goddess said, "is just outside…"

Rika nodded, getting to her feet and rubbing her head. Perhaps she needed more sleep than she had given herself credit for. She padded to the door, open a crack, and swung it outward, stepping onto the grass awaiting a step down. There he was, as Hanyuu said, standing barefoot in that dark cloak and staring out into seemingly nothing. A smile was touching his lips, just slightly.

"Yukiteru," she greeted. "Good morning… What is it that…?" She felt the ground vibrating beneath her feet; listened to the crashing and clashing sounds of battle somewhere to the east.

"Good morning," Yukiteru said distractedly, and leapt into the air.

"Wh—Yukiteru, wait!" she called out to him, but he merely hovered above them, trying to get a good view of what was going on. She thought she saw his smile widen.

He came down quickly, his visage one of exuberance. "Hey, Rika, Rika-chan!" He sounded like an excited child, but his eyes were wide and had a light to them that distinctly worried the ten-year-old.

"Nii?" Hands happily outspread, she humored him anyway.

He smiled a closed-eye smile. "A-ya is over there, too. Isn't that wonderful, Rika? We've found him!"

"He may be a little preoccupied, that is so… Don't you think?"

"That's okay." He grabbed the machine gun from the ground, falling into a crouch. "After this, I can talk to him. I need to talk to him. Right?" And he jumped up into the air again, leaving Rika with her mouth open, lost for words. He gestured to her with one hand, levitating her from the ground and bringing her up to his level above the trees.

"Ah—" She drew her legs closer to herself, her hands clutching at her skirt.

Hanyuu was far more panicked. " _Riiika_ , this is way too high up for you, it is, oh, oh no, uu… uwaauaauuu…!"

 _Hanyuu, be quiet for a moment,_ she thought desperately, trying to look out to where Yukiteru was looking. She feared that she had misjudged Yukiteru's stability. "Please, Yukiteru…," she said to him. "Don't do anything too rash…"

"Rash?" he repeated, peering out to where the fight was occurring. They watched lightning flash and dust rise. "Aa, I wonder where he is…" She watched him thoughtfully bring a hand to his chin, his brow furrowed. His cloak billowed in the winds above the trees. "The leaves are too thick; I can't see."

"Perhaps we should approach on foot for now," Rika suggested. "If they're fighting, wouldn't it be better to be careful getting closer?"

It was though he didn't hear her, his expression lighting up as he tossed the machine gun to the side and caught it with gravitation alone, raising open hands apart from himself before he swung his arms forward again, sending a debilitating wave crashing through the trees and downing the forest in its entirety. Rika stared in appall as she watched every tree fall like dominoes in an ever-accelerating movement that left dirt and dust rising in its wake. Even as the destruction multiplied and expanded, Yukiteru's smile, too, spread over his delighted face. Over the deafening roar of felled wood, he shouted his friends name. Again. Again. " _A-ya, I'm coming now!_ " he called, the dust rising silently in answer. " _I'm coming!_ "

Rika could only hold onto herself as Yukiteru jumped down to the torn forest floor and began to run, almost gliding along with Rika being pulled behind him, kept frozen in suspension.

The group fighting heard the roar before they knew what it was. Yato appeared to recognize the sound of splintering wood first, making a move to jump in the air. " _Hold it!_ " barked Rin, pointing her arm to him. Before she could shoot, Shirou was on her. Similarly, Kaneki attempted to lunge forward to protect Hide, to no avail.

Konoha blinked at the incoming wave of energy and used his own fists to protect himself, in the meantime, but Shinichi merely stood his ground and stared in awe. "I know that voice," he said, eyes wide. Yato was blown back to the ground by the energy wave, lying still on the ground somewhere behind Kaneki and Konoha. Nora had reverted, gently jostling his shoulder to try and make him stir. Following the blast, there was a heavy, dizzying silence. Dirt filled the air, creating a haze.

"Yukiteru," Shinichi uttered, and turned to where he'd heard the sound. Without another word, he began to run in that direction.

"Shinichi!" Rin cried out, snapping out of her initial flustered state of having been beneath Shirou Emiya. She scrambled out from under the tree she was trapped beneath with Shirou. "Where are you—? Wait!" She glanced back at Shirou, who was grimacing in his place beneath the trunk.

"Tohsaka-chan…?" He looked at her with one golden eye shut. "Are you—alright?"

"Take care of yourself," she sniffed. Her physical condition was beaten but unbroken. She paused, considering her next decision. In a death game, only oneself should matter. Therefore, Shinichi going out on his own; that was a bad idea on his part… Shinichi was the one that had arguably saved her group when Tsukiyama had perished, though, too—hadn't he? "Oh, shoot…" If Shinichi was headed towards the guy that had just demolished a forest, then surely he couldn't take them on his own, if he were to attack…

Rin clicked her tongue, unable to believe herself. "I'll be back—!" Shutting her eyes tight in denial of the turnaround she'd just accepted within herself, she ran after Shinichi. "Shirou, just be there when I get back!"

"T—Tohsaka-chan…!"

Hide's eyes flickered from beneath a haven of twisted branches. _I have a bad feeling about this…_ He listened to the sounds of everyone moving again, straining for a sign of Yato's comeback, or A-ya's… or even just the sounds of Kaneki or Konoha. Was everyone alright?

He picked through the twisted branches, pulling the medical bag carefully with him. He could barely see a yard ahead of himself in this haze. _Yikes…_ His logic pushed him to tend to Shirou; to see whether anyone else needed tending to. His gut, on the other hand… his gut was edging him desperately towards Shinichi and Rin. He got to his feet, swallowing hard. _Don't worry, Kaneki…_ Painfully, he turned to where Shinichi and Rin had run. _I'll be right back._


	46. In His Heart

To those who weren't in the forest, this was still quite the commotion. A-ya stared blankly at the destruction approaching, but being on the edge where the trees thinned to nothing, he was able to back off and jump to a building where he wouldn't be affected by the devastation of felled trees. " **I can't see, now,** " they commented quietly. A-ya himself was dumbfounded. "But what just…? Who?"

Shintaro gazed indifferently at the rising dirt and dust, blurring the lines between land and earth somewhere beyond the shopping district. He was looking through the front window of the shop that he and Seidou were in at the time. Unconcerned, he sipped at his third can of cola of the day.

Seidou approached from behind, peering over the NEET's shoulder with narrowed eyes. "Loud," he remarked. Shintaro glanced beside him to see that Seidou was beginning to gnaw at one of his own fingers. "Big fight, 'r somethin'."

"Yep." Another sip. "Not our problem."

Seidou looked at Shintaro with a wide, blank eye as he turned from the window and began walking back to the counter he'd been sitting at previously. Shintaro did nothing when the half-ghoul smacked the Coca-Cola from his hand to the floor. The silence that followed the roar outside was filled with the spilled soda's muted, fizzling protest. Shintaro and Seidou looked at one another for some time. No words.

On the other side of the shopping district was Izaya Orihara, picking through the medical supplies of a pharmacy he'd stayed in once upon a time. He'd already washed off much of the blood from his body – his jacket and shirt had been folded neatly on a chair in the near vicinity. Somehow, he'd been wrong about his own wounds – his stomach was not open, though it was certainly severely bruised. He guessed it was for the better. What a pain it would be to duct tape his torso.

So now he sat in front of the wall of windows that made up his storefront, his jacket beside him with his torn V-neck already on. A tightly-bandaged hand rested on his knee as he watched the dust rise above the buildings. He'd gathered light things to eat, medicine, and a bottle of water that he brought to his lips as the park woods were demolished. He swallowed the water painfully.

"I wonder who's fighting who," he said to no one in particular. "I suppose that I may not go back to Twelve and Suzu-chan after all." He wiped at his mouth absently. "Too bad. I was thinking of giving that scythe a try." Pausing, his pallid face grew tired. "…Hm. Blood loss sure is troublesome." He lifted a bottle, opened it, and poured a few tablets into his palm. "Iron supple-somethings," he commented mildly, and popped them into his mouth. "My favorite."

* * *

"Do you really think this such a good idea?"

Yukki didn't even glance back at Rika for her inquiry.

"Yukiteru—slow down!"

He did. "Why?" he asked her. "The longer we take, the greater the risk that A-ya will get—"

"Yukiteru."

He slowed to a stop, turning around to face Rika, whose voice had dropped to near-prophetic urgency. His blue eyes flicking away from her gaze, he gently returned her to her feet.

"I'm not questioning you, no," she said in her usual child-like tones, "but did Yukiteru consider that maybe A-ya could have gotten hurt by the trees that you just felled?"

Yukki blinked. "…He wouldn't have—"

"Couldn't you have hurt somebody else? That is bad, that is so…"

"I—I wouldn't have meant to… necessarily…" He began wringing his wrists, his eyes wandering anywhere but to Rika herself. "But—would it really matter…?"

"Nii?" Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"This is… a battle royal…" He shifted from foot to foot, his voice taking on that off tone. "And fake or not, isn't it still true that everyone else will still try to kill each other? That's what that was, just now, wasn't it? The sounds of fighting? Even the people who pretend to be nice, they never are actually… right?"

"That's not always the case…"

"I was once warned to beware of the ones who are kindest to you. They're the ones… who—"

"What you should beware of," Rika spoke coolly, "is such paranoia. It can lead to irrational mistakes. Can you think of anyone that has made such mistakes out of paranoia? Perhaps Keiichi? C-ta?"

Yukiteru stiffened.

" _Rika_ ," Hanyuu cried, unheard by Yukki. "Don't make him _mad_ …"

Rika did not waver.

"Keiichi and C-ta… you know them," Yukiteru said faintly. "Okay, well… You're right." He rubbed at the back of his head. "They tried to kill A-ya or I, for no other reason than out of fear."

Rika nodded, and Hanyuu sighed in relief. "Let's go through this logically, then."

"Mm," Yukiteru nodded his head right back. "Am I scared, then? I guess so."

"Me too, Yukiteru," she said softly. "It's okay…"

"No, it's not," he said flatly, and she looked at him in question. "Because how am I supposed to trust anybody at all… after this?"

Her eyes held empathy, softening and drifting downward. "What Yato did…"

"Not just Yato," he said abruptly. "Rika-chan, what about Keiichi and C-ta, huh?" He smiled brokenly at her. "The four of us weren't even attacked the first two days in the game… I was convinced that if we gave our all, then we could all make it out alive. I thought to myself that I was happy for who I was with. And yet Keiichi tried to kill A-ya, when Keiichi was the one that pulled us all together in the first place? Huh? And C-ta tried to kill both of us – I don't even _know_ what he was thinking at that point."

"Yukiteru…"

"Let's keep going," he pressed. "Akise-kun was someone that was one of my first friends at home. I believed in him. _You_ tried to warn me about him, but I defended him because _I_ thought that he only had good intent. But how can that be the truth? How can it? Huh? When he was the only one we didn't find after _Yato_ betrayed us! The only answer can be that he was anticipating that all along, too! I bet that traitor's _with_ Yato, right now!"

"I don't know that—"

"Be _quiet,_ would you?!" he snapped. He was clutching the machine gun tightly to himself. She shut her mouth, her eyes shining in concern. "I can't even trust _you_ , you know! Why does everyone have to keep secrets?! Why does it have to be that way—?!"

"Yukiteru, _everyone_ has secrets," Rika interjected, and he pointed the gun at her with a pained expression.

"If I could trust you, I'd already know the name _Hanyuu!_ "

She froze. Beside her, Hanyuu was just as silent.

His eyes began to spill, his teeth gritted. "Yeah, that's right—I heard you talking to them last night. So what? What're you gonna say now?"

"I would like to talk about all of this," she answered calmly.

"I _am_ talking about it!" He shifted his footing, cocking the gun. "It's not like I want anyone else to die. It's not that. It really isn't that. But why should it _matter_ if they'll all come back next time? _You've_ seen the other parallels of this game, haven't you? So you should know this better than anyone else!" Salty liquid dripped down his chin from his eyes through the haze of air, his expression filled to the brim with hurt and anger. "I know that A-ya's possessed by a demon, so it's not like this is any different—I _know_ that I can't trust him either, but after all this time, he was still—always there for me, from the very beginning. We helped _each other_ out, and that was kinda amazing. He saved me, and I saved him, and that's why—" He paused, expression darkening. "I know A-ya better than anyone else in this game, right? It's not like he wants anyone else to die either; he just wants to start again! And starting over to _make_ our happy ending is really the only way to go!"

"Reset may not be the answer," she began, but he cut her off again:

" _I don't want to hear it from you!_ We'll end the game, him and I, and we'll make the game masters give us a happily ever after—"

"It isn't going to work like—"

"SHUT UP! It's not like I can trust anyone else!"

"You can trust _me!_ " she cried in all sincerity.

" _No, I can't!_ " he answered with just as much desperation, and they both froze momentarily as they heard pounding footsteps approaching.

Yukiteru wheeled around, screaming and pointing the gun while Rika begged for him to stop, even as he pulled the trigger and shot through the blurry haze. She covered her ears at the loudness, and Yukiteru stopped firing, lowering the gun just slightly. Dead silence filled the air just as the haze, followed by a heavy thud. More quiet. Ringing, perhaps.

Rika's knees were locked, her eyes closed. Her hands had moved from her ears to her mouth. She didn't know the results of the shooting, but wasn't all too sure she wanted to know.

Wide-eyed, Yukiteru stepped towards where he'd shot, his bare feet padding gently on the wood beneath him. Were they dead? Had he killed someone? Something squeezed in his chest as he lifted the haze just enough to see a few meters again. Clearing the air revealed a fallen body familiar to his lost blue eyes, lying on his stomach with his only hand still outstretched as if he'd been reaching for him. "It's… Shinichi…?"

Hands shaking with appall, Yukki rolled him over to see his chest blossoming crimson. His eyes were open. Glazed. "A hole—in his…?"

He thought that perhaps he was trembling. _Shinichi's dead. I… But he was the one who…_ He went to his knees, eyes widening as if they could better comprehend such a thing if they were more open. _I just… I—just… I didn't mean—_ His thoughts took him back to their group conglomerate. Even the awkward Yukiteru could have conversation with someone as kind and friendly as Shinichi Izumi. What had happened, again?

 _That's right, I'd taken A-ya by the hand and run off with him. That was when we met Aureus, and… Then…_ His thoughts swirled and spilled and swept over him like a sea tainted red, and like the Red Sea, it parted in one pointed epiphany that cleared his path. Here it was, his decision. This was what resolve was.

 _Didn't you say it was all just a dream, A-ya? Didn't you say it was a play?_ He stood slowly, like rising from murky waters. _I know the part I need to play._ His grip tightened on the firearm. He felt his insides vibrating. _I want to dream with you._

The haze lifted at his will; though he'd been deaf to the world around him, sound began to register again. More footsteps, more voices. When the air cleared, a girl in red and black cried Shinichi's name. "Oi, you—!" Yukiteru pointed the gun at her as she pointed her hand at him. In a flash of fire and red static, the machine gun was blown from his hands. The smatter of bullets he'd fired went harmlessly off the mark, embedding themselves in soil and wood. This girl he didn't know, she started shooting curses at him. Jaw tightening, the cloaked one dodged once, twice, and leapt to the side, towards Rika.

"Yuki—!"

Rika didn't get the chance to finish – Yukiteru snatched her knife from her as a curse was dispelled midair by an unseen force. Yukki couldn't have known it was Hanyuu protecting them. Without a word, Yukiteru went for Rin Tohsaka without listening to the shouting from beyond, a boy with bleached blond hair and a medical bag slung over his shoulder.

"Stop!" Hide called, running as fast as his human self could. "Both of you, stop fighting!" Neither of them did.

"You—killed—Shinichi!" shouted Rin, and Yukiteru swiftly flew towards her and stabbed her in the gut. She grabbed his bare wrist and gripped it tight as she brought her leg up to kick him in the face. The cloaked one ducked, twisting the knife and shoving her backwards, yanking the blade from her grip and cutting her fine fingers. She staggered backwards, and he stabbed her again, and again. She was still breathing. She wasn't dead yet. She needed to—

"Let her go!" Yukiteru backed off as a medical bag smacked him in the face. The strap caught on his neck and choked him for a second, and by the time the cloaked one managed to free himself, he was getting stabbed by a scalpel Hide had thrown at him. Yukiteru spread his stance as Hide pulled out his stone knife, swallowing. "Leave her alone, would you?!"

Yukiteru came at him without hesitation, but though Hide braced himself, the soil underfoot was cast into his face with a wave of Yukki's hand, successfully blinding him. "Oh, shoot—!" He prepared to lash out without sight, and as the fourteen-year-old ran to slash him, Rika jumped between them, her arms outspread. Acting as a shield, she was slashed in Hide's place. Though she grimaced, she barely vocalized her pain. Belatedly, the armadillo Kincho ran between everyone and squealed in distress.

"Rika?" Yukiteru stared blankly at her. His eyes began to gradually flicker back to life.

Squinting through bleary eyes, Hide peered at Rika. What was a _kid_ doing here? "Hey…!" Glancing to the blurry figure of Yukiteru, Hide took a deep breath, grabbed Rika by the wrist, and began to run. "Let's get outta here!" She scooped up Kincho, and he scooped up the medical bag. "Rin! I'll be right back!"

Yukiteru made no move to chase them, staring after them blankly. He swayed on his feet, collapsing to the ground. His palms sinking into soft earth, nausea settled on him. He felt so very ill.

He bowed his head, kneeling on his hands and knees in the midst of the forest he'd destroyed. "…A-ya…," he uttered. It was all he could think to say.

* * *

 _Gunshots?_ Kaneki listened hard, trying and make out what the commotion was. Kaneki noted the way frost's hands curled around his heart – the tendrils of dread. _I need to make sure Hide is okay. If he isn't… I—_ He could hear his blood pumping in his eardrums as he looked behind him to see if he could make out Yato. In this dust cloud, he had no way do so. He'd need to physically go and check, and knowing that A-ya had just aided him, there was every possibility that the possessed one would take the chance for an ambush. At this point, he needed to make sure that no one came at them from behind—but those gunshots to the west…?

 _Where is everyone, right now? Where is… Hide?_

Konoha, meanwhile, was currently lifting a tree from overtop Shirou Emiya, picking the redhead up from the ground as he casually dropped the toppled tree. "Sorry…"

Konoha blinked, then slung Shirou over his shoulder. "Why are you sorry?" asked the android.

"I…"

"I don't see any reason for you to apologize."

"But Tohsaka-chan… is…"

"I can't say it will definitely be fine, but I can say that you did your best. I am sure of this."

Shirou frowned at the ground, his hands at Konoha's back. "…Thanks," he said eventually. "For lifting that tree, of course. I don't know whether I could have gotten out myself. I didn't really…"

"…Do much?" Confusion colored the albino's tone. "Didn't you save Rin from getting crushed, herself?"

"I did," he agreed, though his expression was grave.

The cloud around them was lifted, and Kaneki immediately checked the perimeter of their immediate area. Yato wasn't in sight, but more importantly: "Konoha." He spoke urgently.

The android turned to look at him, and Shirou peered at him from his awkward position himself. "Yes, Kaneki?"

"Where are the others? Hide?"

"Rin followed Shinichi that way," said Shirou, pointing.

Konoha nodded. "All three of them are approaching a group of two, I think."

Kaneki brought a hand to his chest. _Then Hide survived the blast…_ "And Yato? A-ya?"

"Somewhere that way, I think," the android answered, pointing towards the city. "Away."

"Away… huh." Kaneki brought a hand to his chin. "Then we should follow the other three – if they end up fighting, they might need backup."

Konoha nodded, and he and Kaneki began to run, Shirou still slung over the shoulder of the android. Running over the carnage of wood and greenery, they found it far easier to make out what was ahead. It wasn't long before Kaneki felt his heart leaping up all the way to the soft palette of his mouth – there was Hide, running towards them with everything he had, pulling along someone that came only just above his hip in height. Kaneki called out to him, speeding up until he could reach him.

Hide returned a lopsided, warm grin, but shook his head. "Rin—someone needs to carry Rin."

"Tohsaka-chan?" Shirou immediately tried to get off of Konoha's shoulder, to no avail. The android looked ahead, unconcerned.

"Don't exert yourself too much, Shirou," Kaneki sighed, a reassuring smile touching his lips. "I will go get her, safe and sound. Hide, is there still anyone else that way? The one that hurt Rin?"

The small girl that Hide was holding the wrist of averted her gaze from the half-ghoul. Kaneki offered a thawed expression, giving a closed-eye smile in turn. Even if Hide was okay, that didn't change the fact that Rin was injured, not to mention… The thought of Shinichi brought Kaneki a different kind of pain. Could it be that he…?

"Ah, about that…" Hide scratched at his cheek. His breathing was still labored. "That direction, there's this kid… He seems like he's sure hurting a lot. I'll bet he's making a lot of mistakes right now he'll regret, so… We should be careful—of that guy."

Kaneki nodded curtly. "No time to waste." And he went to get Rin. By the time he reached her, she had already staggered to her feet only for Kaneki to scoop her up in his arms, telling her that he would take care of her and it would be alright. He saw Shinichi's body and gazed upon it without expression – just the slightest sign of distress in the curve of his brow.

"Let's leave," she said, her voice tight.

There was no one else around.

When Kaneki returned to the others, he first addressed the youngest, newest member of their group. "You've probably seen quite a lot, Miss. What's your name?"

"Un… I'm Rika, that is so…" Her voice was quiet and fragile.

"Well, Rika-chan," Kaneki smiled, "we're going to take good care of you now, okay?"

Smiling back, she nodded. "Mm."

Konoha looked to the half-ghoul curiously as he turned to the city, eyes dark. "We need to get to a safe place and tend to Tohsaka-chan and Shirou-kun immediately." He paused, then began to walk. "Let's go."

* * *

" _I really am… alone now, huh?_ " Yukiteru wiped his mouth of vomit, his vision blurry. Grasping at the machine gun and at the knife that had belonged to Rika, he got slowly to his feet. He heard people approaching again. He went to Rin; she looked so angry, but he recognized that look of fear hidden deep in her blue eyes. They were like his own eyes, weren't they? Though he wasn't so angry, himself. "Aa…" Those eyes of hers widened, and he looked down on her. He wondered what his own expression looked like. "Tell me… What is your name?" he asked her, tilting his head.

"My—name?" She had a thin line of blood running down her chin.

"What was it, something like 'Rin'? Was that it?"

"Why should I tell you…," she spat. He didn't react to her acid.

"Why? I guess… because, I want to know your name? Since I hurt you and all."

"How is that—?"

"Maybe it's a weird reason, after all," he admitted, and laughed a bit. "I guess you're lucky, huh?"

"Wh…?" Her teeth were clenched, stained red like her vividly vermilion shirt.

"Hehe." He beamed at her. "Because I didn't kill you quite yet. It's alright, Rin; I need to leave now anyway. Nice to meet you." He swayed on his feet, his smile fading before he leapt into the air and disappeared from her sight.

* * *

A-ya jumped down to the fallen Yato, looking down without expression as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "Ah, it's the possessed one," Nora smiled at him, and A-ya looked at her with utmost skepticism.

Yato rolled over to look, his expression twisted into a grimace and his body heaving with every labored breath. " _You…_ "

"Thank you very much for your help," Nora said sweetly, and gently brushed her hair from her face. "I hope you haven't come here to hurt us now."

" **I can't make any promises,** " they said, and Nora's eyes narrowed just slightly.

"Your eyes," she remarked, "…really aren't so pretty anymore. You really are losing yourself, A-ya… Poor little boy."

A-ya frowned, the scarlet in his gaze flickering. " _What do you expect from me now?_ " the serpent hissed. " _You can't honestly believe I'm here for any other reason but to kill your master._ "

"I won't let you have him," she said matter-of-factly, stroking the hair of the god. She was cradling his head in her lap. "I finally have him back with me. I don't want to lose that." She narrowed her eyes, her smile remaining. "Absolutely not."

A-ya spread his arms. " **Oh, but imagine the rumor I could speak to infect his final thoughts. You gave me fuel for the fire yourself, didn't you? I think it would be a fun tragedy, don't you think? Nora.** " He sneered at her, but she just stared back, calm. Distantly, gunshots sounded, and Nora and the possessed both looked. A-ya wasn't sure what to make of it, himself.

Yato did. He just shut his eyes tight, speaking with effort. "Yu—kki…"

Nora watched in interest as A-ya's eyes flickered again. "…Hm," was all A-ya gave before he picked Yato up with ease. Nora blinked at him, wide-eyed. "Coming?" he asked her, and she got to her feet. They leapt away as the haze lifted, disappearing into the city.

"I—don't want help… from you," Yato argued brokenly even as A-ya stopped in the building he'd stayed in just the night before, on the same level. The possessed one dropped him to the floor there without a word. "There's no helping _you_ now," Yato spoke weakly, his mouth twisting into a weary but bitter smirk. "Completely—corrupted…"

"Oh, be polite," Nora berated him softly. "He's saved you, you know."

Yato bit his tongue.

"You still hurt my group," A-ya said flatly. "I might just want revenge after this. **So… hopefully when next we meet you'll be a fight worth having. If not, you're one less opponent to face. That being said…** I'll be leaving you here. Figure something out." He glanced to Nora, and nodded to her without expression before jumping back out into the city.

Nora stared after him, tilting her head. "…Huh. Interesting…" She turned back to Yato with another smile and a warm embrace. "Well, let's take care of you, then, shall we?"

Yato couldn't think of anything else to do.


	47. The Word Of

"They really aren't coming to get you," Seidou grumbled, rubbing at the back of his head as he glared out the window. "I mean, obviously they're distracted. If they're involved. Which they probably are. But still."

"I don't know what's got you so confused," Shintaro shrugged. They were still in the same shop.

"You're my _hostage._ You'd think they'd come for you by now."

"Do you _want_ them to?"

"I mean—well, it's not that I _want them to_ , but I just—" He squinted at the ground, biting at his thumb. "Like, they should probably—want to find you?"

"Maybe they think I'm dead," the NEET suggested, tilting his head with an expression suggesting boredom.

Seidou frowned deeply. "Mayb **e…** " He paused." **They won't ever find you here, huh…? Heehee, so that's where we're at, eh?~** "

"What's that change of attitude?"

" **Huh?** "

"Oh, nothing. Whatever."

Seidou clicked his tongue. He stood, silent, for some time. " **Do you want them to find you?** " he asked.

"I don't care."

Seidou's single eye flashed, and he glowered at the impassive Shintaro. " **You really… don't care at all…** "

He only shrugged again, impartial. "What difference would it make?"

Seidou looked away. More silence. Then, "We're heading out."

"Hm?" Shintaro's grey gaze went to him again as the half-ghoul went to the door. "What exactly do you have in mind now?"

"Whoever fought with whoever, they're gonna spread out from one another after it's over. We're close, so we're moving away. Make sense?"

"Oh, alright." Shintaro hoisted the machine gun up from the ground, and Seidou eyed him. At least he still had the strength of a shut-in. "I was almost concerned that you would be dragging me _towards_ the others."

"I _told_ you, I'm not going back to them!" he snapped. "I—"

"Yeah, yeah," Shintaro sighed, exiting the door with the half-ghoul. "You're a filthy traitor; you're not going back. I get it."

"…I was going to say that I hate them."

"That too."

Seidou huffed. "I violently disagree with whatever that knife did to you."

"Yeah, I know."

Seidou rolled his one open eye as he led the way south. "We're heading to the industrial area and taking shelter in one of the factories," he said bitterly. "You've been fed and whatever, so it's fine to be away from all of these food sources."

"But how long will we be there? There's no point – shouldn't we head to the core of the city, where the layout is more complex? Everyone's centered in this area, so we need to head west."

Seidou glared at him. " _Don't tell me what to do._ "

"Just a suggestion."

"We're going North!"

"North?" Shintaro frowned. "Why North?"

"Because you're an _asshole_ , that's why!"

"I don't think my being an ass should have to do with which direction we take."

"We're going to the residential area!"

"I think that's where Kaneki and the others are staying," Shintaro remarked, absently scratching at his head.

"Then we'll go to the city!"

"Isn't that what I just—"

" _Shut up!_ " A low growl rumbling in his throat, Seidou stalked his way down the street, Shintaro following behind, none too thrilled. The NEET's pace faltered and slowed to a halt in front of one of the shops they passed. Seidou didn't notice, grumbling how unbelievable Shintaro was and how he shouldn't be trying to make him feel like an idiot, and how Shintaro was the _hostage_ and therefore shouldn't be making suggestions in the first place, so—

The sound of the machine gun going off and the sound of shattering glass made Seidou wheel around to the sight of Shintaro shooting out a glass-walled storefront nearby. " _WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?_ "

Shintaro stopped, then looked at Seidou with that terribly expressionless face.

"WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING? WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?"

"There was somebody in there," he uttered, picking at one of his ears and looking vaguely agitated.

"So you _SHOT AT THEM?_ "

"Why not? You seem to try and kill everyone in sight."

"Oh, for FUCK'S SAKE!" he cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Was that REALLY necessary?!"

"Are _you_ really necessary?"

Seidou frowned, sour. "I can't BELIEVE you," he hissed, stalking his way over the broken glass and into the store. There was a chair set up and a spilled bottle of water at the front. Seidou leaned down and inspected the drops of blood on the floor. "Huh…" But who could it be? No one came to mind, though he could still smell _somebody_ around, and their blood was—

Seidou found himself being bombarded with bullets from behind, none of them able to penetrate his skin, immune to metal. That didn't mean it wouldn't leave bruises.

He wheeled around to face his hostage, clearly livid. " _ **What do you think you're doing?!**_ "

Shintaro stopped shooting again. Shrugged. "Shooting you."

" **WHY. IT CAN'T EVEN KILL ME.** "

"It was worth a shot."

" **Oh, what the shit.** " He went faster than human eye could see, suddenly in front of the red-jerseyed kid, their faces centimeters apart. Shintaro still did not react. Seidou's eye narrowed. He snatched the machine gun from the other. "We are going to _avoid_ the other groups. _Avoid them._ **Understand?** "

"Sure," Shintaro said flatly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"...I can't. I really can't…"

Izaya listened to them from inside the manager's office, holding his breath. One hand was wrapped over his gut, the other over his own mouth. _I can't afford a meeting with Seidou. Not right now._ Slowly releasing his breath, he removed his hand from his mouth and put it on the hilt of the Prophet. _He can undoubtedly smell me. Shintaro, for some reason, is also…_ Izaya closed his eyes.

He had been reading over Akise's journal before they'd passed by. Apparently he'd gathered quite the collection of information. Yukiteru had met two of the game masters: one was speculated to be an items master, the other had allegedly called himself the 'timekeeper.' Both were shrouded in mystery, but Yukki had been far more talkative about the timekeeper, who called himself Rodd. The items master, on the other hand, had a level of classification to him that did not permit anyone who _had_ found him to talk about him at all.

It was noted that there were seven game masters in all, but it was also written that they may not have come from an entirely reliable source. It was speculated by the silver-haired detective that there may be others that were even more secret than the items master himself. This items master also acted as an information teller, maybe as some kind of extra bonus for having found him. But even if he was a game master, it was perceived that he wasn't necessarily in agreement with the games at hand. Conflict among the game masters was heavily implied. And if this items master was secret, could it have been that even he couldn't speak of an eighth member? Maybe a traitor? Akise had scribbled a possibility of there not being seven, but eight. Why? It had to do with the survivors of the female game. Nine had made it to the tower, but eight made it through. Was it that eight was the specific number, or was solely the importance of every living player having good will when they approached?

The boy detective went on to theorize that each game master had a specified jurisdiction. Surely the one called Rodd would be in control of any time-related items, or game reset, or anything of the sort. The mystery items master would surely be in charge of the operation of the items pillars, by default. If that were the case, couldn't there then be someone who controlled something like the dome that covers the game field? Someone who coordinated the groups and decided who went where? Someone who had brought all of them here in the first place – some kind of inter-dimensional traveler that had a sadistic sense of entertainment?

The situation of the ones running the game was not that there was one single overseer with incredible, incomprehensible power. Rather, it was a collection of masters each with one incredible power of their own. All together, they would be a terrifying force. But with conflict so heavily implied, what would become of them? What state were they in now – indeed, could game masters rebel? If they did, what would it look like? Theoretically, none of the game masters could work entirely alone. Their powers, however great, are too narrow. Too selective. Nevertheless, it left room for hope upon the approach of the game's end.

More notes. Izaya was impressed by how insanely _tiny_ Akise's handwriting was.

Apparently Rika had approached Akise about something that new-player-L said. _Rika-chan seems to be suspicious of me,_ he wrote. _Suspicion is noted and understood._

 _Am I suspicious? Perhaps I should call myself into question. More later._

Izaya felt his mouth twitch. What was that about, he wondered? Could it have been the rumor that he and A-ya had spread via Hanyuu? Or had she already been suspicious? Either way, the rumor would have fed such a suspicion. The information broker felt a dim sense of hollow satisfaction.

Deciding not to think too much on it now, he'd turned the page to the section about 'the unspoken rule.' The principle behind it was that if anyone were to come to some kind of epiphany of truth, then they were fated to perish immediately afterwards. _As a seeker of truth, this worries me,_ he wrote, _but I can only keep going._ Then again, of course it could be that this fate only befell such a person if they said their epiphany aloud. This was implied in the way L Lawliet had died, and also in the way Rika refused to speak exactly what he'd said. That being said, she was still around, and L wasn't.

But if this rule were fact, then wouldn't that mean that a game master, or multiple game masters, could shift the fates of players in-game? Even on a life-or-death level? L had been killed by Yato, meaning that some master(s) had influenced Yato's actions at the time into killing L the moment he came to his revelation. That would be a worrisome power indeed.

Under that pretense, Akise speculated that perhaps the masters also had a hand in the dark paths that certain people were walking down – specifically the ones that were so close to uniting the players and ending the game. His scribbled examples included Izaya himself, led astray by his intrigue in A-ya… as well as, of course, the dark-clad hero himself. A-ya had once been adamant about how the game was fake and how everyone needed to rebel against the given rules. What had happened, then? He'd been led by temptation into the arms of a demon that was supposed to have perished earlier in-game. It was also worth noting that A-ya had met with the items master previously mentioned.

Yukiteru and Celty both had met with this items master, it seemed. Akise noted that he needed to watch over Yukiteru and ensure he didn't go astray. Celty, he felt, was currently in a good place.

Izaya glared down at such musings, biting his lip. _Celty-san was hiding that kind of thing, huh…? Not that it matters now. And not that I'd tell me either, if I were her._

He was getting to the notes on the control center when he'd heard muted voices beyond the glass. His only thought was that he needed to get out of the line of sight, and quick. Quiet. He didn't need to be found by _anyone_ right now, no, he was still weak, and there was no telling—

He'd gone for the door of the manager's office, then, and was slipping in the door when all of the front windows shattered. Immediately he backed into the corner, leaving the light off – thank god it wasn't a motion sensor. Through the crack in the door he had left, he watched the scene through a narrow screen. Izaya had to at least allow himself mild surprise that it was _Shintaro_ who had wielded the machine gun against him.

We return to the present. Izaya's breathing was still uneasy, but he couldn't see nor hear either Seidou or Shintaro anymore. He wasn't all too sure how long he stood there, stock-still. After this long while, he at last breathed a sigh. "…Lucky…" He quirked an eyebrow, running a hand through his hair. "Jeez…"

He heard the crackling of broken glass being trod upon outside the door, and immediately he stiffened. He became distinctly aware of the feel of the wall at his back, and to the rhythm of his own heart. His hand tightened around the hilt of the Prophet.

The slow, steady footsteps seemed to draw closer before they ceased to be altogether. Izaya's eyes narrowed in the dark, preparing himself. _I've made it this far; I'm not dying now… Hah, how funny would that be?_

The door swung outward on its hinges, and Izaya's eyes immediately locked onto the dark cloak of the one standing in the doorframe, their silhouette backlit with the daylight outside. But looking into his face, Izaya blinked, drawing his mouth into a smirk that felt more like a grimace than anything else. "Yukiteru-kun?"

Yukki looked at him with eyes that absorbed the light reflecting off of Izaya's pale face. They seemed to almost glow softly in the dark of the room. "How…" he spoke slowly, his tone frighteningly cold, "…do you know my name?"

"Rika Furude, then, huh?" Hide beamed, and the ten-year-old nodded as she lifted her arms up, perpendicular to the ground. Her shirt was off; Kaneki had already stitched up her chest. Nobody looked. He was bandaging her now. "I'm Hideyoshi Nagachika! But you can call me Hide, alright?"

"Hide," she agreed, smiling happily.

Kaneki listened intently to them talking as he tied off her bandages. He put a hand to her shoulder to let her know that she was alright to put her shirt back on, then went over to properly set Shirou's leg, which had been broken. Rin sat next to him on the edge of the same bed, her arms and legs both crossed. Though she was acting with her usual sass, her skin was pallid, and she was far more quiet than normal. Her stomach had been bandaged first thing, and she'd put her turtleneck back on immediately after the white strip had been tied off. Kaneki had tried to tend to Rika first, but the kid had insisted that Rin go before her.

Konoha was spacey as always, and Rika seemed to be judging the situation quietly herself… or perhaps she was just masking the pain of that injury of hers. It was Hide that started up light conversation, and everyone seemed silently grateful for it.

"We should all introduce ourselves, I think," Hide suggested. "C'mon, guys."

"Shirou Emiya," the redhead smiled weakly. "Pleasure to meet you—ah—" He grimaced as Kaneki put his leg back into place.

"Rin Tohsaka," Rin said, quiet but tense.

"Ken Kaneki," said the half-ghoul, pulling a cast from the medical bag. "Welcome," he said warmly, pausing just to nod his head to her.

"And I am Konoha," said the android.

"I am happy to meet all of you, that is so," she said brightly, clapping her hands. "I am sure that all together, we will be alright."

Kaneki touched his chin. "I agree…"

"Rika-chan, if I may… How old are you?" Shirou asked, blinking wide golden eyes.

"I am ten," she said matter-of-factly.

" _Ten years old?_ " Shirou rubbed at the back of his head, his brow furrowed. "What are the masters thinking, involving someone so young…?"

"Hmph," said Rin.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much," grinned Hide, patting Rika on the back. "I mean, c'mon! This kid probably made it through the fem game, too, and here she is, still here!" He ruffled her hair, and she looked up at him blankly. "That's nothing to sneeze at, you know?" Rubbing at the bottom of his nose, he laughed a bit. "Maybe she's stronger than you, Kaneki."

"Huh…?"

Hide busted up laughing at Kaneki's expression. "I'm kidding; I'm kidding! You've, like, got serious abs now."

Kaneki blinked, lost for words.

"And anyway, you don't need to worry too much, alright, Rika-chan? We're all nice people here, so we'll all make sure to protect you, okay?"

Kaneki nodded. "I will see to it that you are kept safe…"

Rika's violet eyes darkened at Hide and Kaneki's reassurances. "That's not what I want from you…"

"Mm?" Hide blinked down at her as she folded her hands together tightly, beginning to tremble.

"I'm tired… of that."

They all looked at her. None of them had anything to say. Then, Shirou: "How about this? We'll protect you while we continue to protect each other. Okay? How's that?"

"Yeah," Hide grinned his lopsided smile. "We're not planning on getting hurt, either. We've got super-beefed-up people like 'Neki and Konoha, so it'll turn out."

"…Thank you," she said softly.

"Shinichi was pretty strong," uttered Rin, and Shirou frowned at her.

"Tohsaka-chan…" Granted, his eyes reflected his regret.

"Maybe we should refrain—" began Kaneki, but she interjected, "It wasn't fair. The way he died wasn't _fair_."

"I don't think," said Konoha, "that this game is 'fair'…"

"That hole in his chest," Rika came in, "…was never mended."

They all looked at her. A solemn quiet settled.

"He never cried," commented Rin, her tone matching this silence.

"No, Rin-chan…" Hide closed his eyes, smiling sadly. "Didn't you hear him? He was crying out that whole time. Right inside his chest."


	48. Informant

**Sorry for the day-late update, everyone! Being on break, things are a bit scattered, but well - I hope you enjoy the chapter anyhow~ uvu**

* * *

 _Oh boy…_ No response jumped to the tongue of Izaya Orihara. Instead, he found himself laughing, breathy and edging towards hysterics.

"Well?" Yukiteru's eyes narrowed, just slightly.

"The light," he said. "Turn on the light."

When Yukki flipped the switch, his expression was one of confused cynicism. "…Why?"

"It really is Yukiteru-kun, after all… My, my, you look so different – the look in your eyes really _has_ changed. Scary…"

Yukiteru tilted his head and, beginning to smile, cocked his machine gun. Somehow his eyes were dark even under the fluorescents.

Izaya raised his hands into the air. _Keep it together; there's no reason to worry._ "I don't want to fight you. You really don't know who I am, do you, Yukiteru-kun?"

"I really don't," he said. He sounded eerily friendly. "But it's okay, because I'd like to know who you are before I kill you."

"Talk about twisted," he sighed, his eyes wandering. "Jeez… Not very nice of you to just go forgetting somebody…"

Yukiteru faltered. "…Come to think of it…" He lowered his gun, looking up to the ceiling. "Mm… you do look familiar, after all…"

"…Really," Izaya raised his eyebrows at him.

"Mm," Yukiteru nodded. "But…" He scratched at his temple. "No, you're not who I'm thinking of. His jacket had _red_ trim. Who was it – 'Roppi'…?"

Izaya's expression was one of deadpan finished-ness.

"No, I guess I don't know you after all… Huh. You weren't even in the intro at the beginning, were you?"

"You're kidding me," he said, closing his eyes.

"Are you a new player, then?"

" _No._ I'm—"

Yukiteru pointed the gun at him with a smile. Izaya froze. Took pause. Forced himself to relax, his mouth twitching. "…Really…" _This is okay. You can make something of this._ "Anyway, I meant it when I said I didn't want to fight you."

"It's okay, I don't need to fight. I can just kill you, and that'll be that."

 _He sure has had a drastic shift, hasn't he?_ He locked eyes with the younger. He listened to his own heartbeat in his ears. _Come on, this is exciting. This is interesting. This is fun._

 _Jeez, I feel sick…_

"This is why you kids scare the crap outta me," he sighed, lowering his arms. Yukiteru widened his stance in response. "It's so easy… for you to change." A dry smile twisted his mouth. "Keeps me on my toes. I like that, too."

"Do you?"

"I do." He wrapped one of his arms over his stomach again. "It keeps things interesting…"

Yukiteru peered at him with wide eyes, cocking his head to the side. "You sure don't look like you believe that."

"Oh, no, I was just thinking about how close you are to shooting me to death. That, that I don't like."

"I can believe that much, coming from you."

"What's this, 'coming from me'… As if you know what to expect." He chuckled mirthlessly. "You've just met me, remember?"

"But I don't trust you at all," Yukiteru answered brightly. "You're probably one of the shadiest people I've met in this game."

"Gee, thanks…" He paused. "Well, I have to give you credit – your judgment is pretty sound this time around. To be honest, I'm a lying bastard!" Such a statement sent Izaya into another fit of laughter.

Yukiteru's eyes narrowed. "Then I guess it's a good thing I'm going to kill you, now."

Izaya stopped laughing.

Yukiteru pointed the gun at him again, smiling sweetly. "Goodbye."

"Wai—" He tried to dodge, unsheathing the Prophet as fast as he could manage even though he knew full well that he wouldn't, couldn't be faster than a machine gun. The thing got him in the leg before he found himself on the ground, crying out, " _Wait a second!_ " and then grimacing at the desperation in his own voice. _…Pathetic._

Yukiteru paused.

"You said you wanted to know who I was before you killed me, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and you said you were a lying bastard. That's enough for me."

Izaya winced. His insides were writhing. This was _not_ the way that Izaya Orihara would die – _But who is Izaya Orihara, anyway? I shouldn't be so easily flustered like this. Izaya Orihara would never be baffled by something so_ ridiculous _… So…_

 _Hold on. You don't have your face back, but that doesn't mean you forgot how to play your own game. This is_ Yukiteru _you're talking to. If anything's for sure, this kid's still a human being. For god's sake, snap out of it, you—_

Yukiteru was impassive when Izaya started to laugh again, bringing a hand over his eyes. "Yukiteru-kun… Just… wait a second. How about this? We both lay down our weapons, and we talk for a few minutes. Can you permit me that much? Maybe I can get a few passionate last lines out?"

The fourteen-year-old considered this for a few seconds, then laid his machine gun on the floor. Izaya blinked at him, surprised. As Yukiteru sat opposite the information broker, cross-legged on the ground, Izaya sat up and set the Prophet beside the machine gun.

"I'm a little surprised," grinned Izaya. "The way you were playing that out, I almost thought you wouldn't listen to reason."

"Oh, I have my reasons," Yukiteru smiled brightly in turn. "If I need to, I can keep you as still as I need you to be." He tilted his head adorably. "You're just a human. I could kill you without even having to get up."

"…" Izaya frowned at him. Yukiteru was quick to notice that none of Izaya's smiles lasted longer than a few moments. "Say…" He lifted his palms to the ceiling. "If you let me live at the end of this, how about I show you where an items pillar is? To show you that you can trust me?"

"I already know I can't trust you."

"Even if there really were an items pillar?"

Yukiteru thought about it. "I mean…"

"If you were to let me lead you there, there wouldn't be much I could do to hurt you, you know. I'm not sure whether you noticed, Yukiteru-kun, but I'm kinda beaten up as it is, you see…"

"You never told me," Yukki cut in. "How do you know my name?"

"Well…" His eyes wandered. _This is fine. This doesn't have to be a curse. Make into an advantage…_ "…Even though you don't know me, I know you."

"But how?"

Izaya took note for the suspicion in his tone. "Well." His dry smile touched his lips. "Because I'm an informant."

"That's not an answer," Yukki frowned.

"Sure it is," he shrugged. "That's what I did for a living, anyway, before these games. I was an underground information broker. I can prove to you that I know everything – call it my special ability, here."

"You can prove…?"

"Of course. Why else would I know so much about you? Let's see… Weren't you part of a battle royal yourself, back home? One with things called 'Future Diaries'?"

Yukiteru's eyes narrowed. "That's not all too hard to figure out."

"Would I know the name Yuno Gasai?"

The kid stiffened.

"Hah… From what I understand, you and her had a rather complicated relationship. Even though she did such terrible things, you still miss her, even now—"

"You're wrong," Yukki said flatly.

Izaya looked at him with what he hoped looked like curiosity. _Why rub salt in the wound now? Terrible tact,_ he thought disapprovingly to himself.

"I don't need anyone… like her…" He brought his hands together in his lap, one hand squeezing the other with white knuckles. They were trembling. "…I don't need anyone else. I'm not like that. Not anymore."

Izaya raised his eyebrows. "No one else at all?"

"No."

Izaya stared at him, dead-faced, for some time, his eyes scanning the body language of the cloaked one sitting across from him. Yukiteru's head was bowed; he wasn't looking at him. They sat in silence. Eventually, Izaya sighed. "I guess it's true that you're not here with anyone else. But you were alone all along, weren't you?" He felt his mouth twinge just slightly. Why did he say that?

Yukiteru didn't look up. "…That's fine," he said hollowly. "It's fine that I was always alone. Because… now I know that I don't need anyone at all anyway."

Izaya shifted to a more casual position, his eyes narrowing. "Not even A-ya?"

Yukki froze. His hands stopped trembling. He seemed to even stop breathing. His hands parted. He rested them, palms down, on the floor. He still did not look up. "If I have to kill A-ya in order to end this route, I will," he said without inflection.

There was more silence. Yukiteru still didn't look up into Izaya's prying gaze. Eventually, the informant looked away, clicking his tongue. "Who are you kidding?" he asked bitterly.

Only now did Yukki look at him.

"Do you really think you can lay a hand on him? You can't. You won't."

"You don't know me," he answered, traces of uncertainty lying in his tone.

"Sure I do. I know that you can't kill A-ya."

"It's fine, because I know that… afterwards, we can be together again."

"Even if you convince yourself of such a mentality, can you really go through with something like that?"

"I just killed Shinichi Izumi," Yukiteru informed him flatly.

Izaya stared at him, then let out a low whistle. "Harsh. But still different than—"

" _Don't underestimate me_ ," he said lowly.

"I'm not underestimating you, Yukiteru-kun—don't get me wrong…! I think it's _you_ who's underestimating your own _humanity_."

Yukiteru deflated, his anger dissipating.

"A-ya-kun's a different deal, now… After he got possessed by Kuroha, he's been slowly consumed ever since then. Before we know it, he'll just be a monster, nothing more."

"Don't—say that… A-ya isn't…"

"Yukiteru-kun."

They looked at one another in silence. Izaya leaned in; Yukiteru was rigid.

"You can't know how bad it's gotten, can you? Couldn't that be precisely why he separated from you in the first place?"

"But when I saw him last… He still…" Yukiteru trailed off. Hesitated. "It's fine, because now both of us want the same thing."

"Reset?" Izaya inquired coolly.

"And what if it is?"

"You can't deny it means I do know quite a lot," he answered wryly.

"That's fair…"

Izaya crossed his arms over his chest. "Rika-chan knew about past outcomes of this game, herself. It wouldn't be the first time, Yukiteru-kun."

"I know that already," Yukki frowned.

"Hoh? She tell you that?" The cloaked one narrowed his blue eyes as Izaya laughed that mirthless laugh again. "Well then, maybe this rumor will suit you better: while A-ya-kun has been possessed by a demon, Rika-chan is the vessel to a goddess named Hanyuu."

Izaya watched the whites of Yukiteru's eyes grow. "…Hanyuu…?" he repeated.

"A-ya-kun knew it, too. It was Rika-chan who figured it out about the demon, of course, which is why she went after Roy that night. Do you remember?"

Yukiteru couldn't answer him.

"She tried to save Roy, but failed. Roy died that night – you know that already. That's when we…" Izaya stopped. His expression darkened.

"Rika was the one who told the others that A-ya was possessed, right?" Yukki asked.

Izaya looked at him without expression. Seemed that he was already assuming that he knew everything, after all. Better keep up appearances. "She was," he sighed. "She told Minene, who told Akise. By then it was too late, anyway, seeing as A-ya had already decided to split off."

"And Twelve and Suzuya left with him…"

"Yes… Twelve and Suzuya left with him…" Izaya paused. "Both of them are dead," he added as a dark afterthought.

"They…?" His blue eyes filled with something akin to fear. "It wasn't… A-ya, was it?"

"Not necessarily," Izaya answered distractedly.

"Then…?"

"The Yato god."

"Yato…" Yukiteru's hands clenched into shaking fists. "Not A-ya at all—Yato. Why should I have expected anything but Yato?"

"Ah, that's right… Isn't he the one that killed Celty-san and Minene, too?"

"He…" He drew his knees up to his chest, his body tensing. "Yeah, and wasn't it Yato, too, who killed L? Wasn't that the very fight that A-ya—" Eyes flashing, he looked to Izaya with tainted determination. "If it weren't for Yato, A-ya wouldn't even be possessed, would he? Even _that_ was Yato's fault! None of this would ever have been a problem—if…"

"I may have a bone to pick with Yato, myself," Izaya admitted, his gaze averted.

"And Yato is the one who can best kill A-ya," Yukiteru said breathlessly. "So he and I both…"

Izaya frowned at the fourteen-year-old across from him. "You're still making the argument that A-ya isn't wrong… yet you're struggling to justify his actions? Shifting the blame to somebody else, just because the detail of a demon isn't fitting your perfect picture?"

"I'm not saying he's perfect," he snapped. "I know that the demon… isn't a good thing. I know that."

"Couldn't it be possible for that demon to lead A-ya in the wrong direction?"

"I mean—"

"Let me rephrase this: _why are you following him down the same path?_ Hah? When you know it isn't the right one?"

Yukiteru faltered only momentarily. "You don't know A-ya. He knows what he's doing. He does. He chose to accept that demon… Yeah, that's right, because if A-ya were to get possessed, he'd make the demon his pet, of course! That's how A-ya is!"

"Then why are you so angry with Yato?"

Yukiteru blinked. Izaya stared back at him through narrowed, piercing eyes. "…Oh… You're right."

Izaya frowned deeper. There we go. Much better.

"I should be thanking him, shouldn't I?" the kid asked, and laughed happily, an off note to his mirth.

Izaya slumped, bringing a hand to his head. "How dense can you be, kid…? Jeez…"

"No, think about it! A-ya always strained to find an answer to this game. Yato pushed him to find Kuroha, and that's how he's lasted as long as he has. He finally had his epiphany at that point – that if this game were to end, _we_ would end." Yukiteru spread his arms happily. "Even if he were wrong and all of us were to go home, _we,_ together, would end! He would return to his reality of repeating tragedy, and I'd go back to mine. Surely we would never see one another again! He had to part from me because I didn't understand yet, of course, and I would have tried to stop him. But now I _do_ understand, and so…" He beamed at the informant. "I've got to thank Yato, that's right. Because the best way to get where we want to be is to keep thinning out the players, see? Yato's doing the exact same thing! That's why Minene and Celty-san and Twelve and Suzuya are all dead, right? None of _them_ would have gotten it, right?"

Izaya could only stare in muted interest. "…Amazing." _What a skewed perspective; what a show…_

"And that's why Akise betrayed us, too! That's why he went with Yato, right? Because surely, surely he understood exactly what the truth was!"

"Wait… Akise—?"

"So really, the best way to thank Yato is by killing him, right?" Closing his eyes joyously, he tilted his head at Izaya. "Because that's what he's so graciously given us: just the carnage we need! That's the point of all this, isn't it? It's the only way to take us to the end of this game, right? Right?"

"Wrong." Izaya, closing his eyes, got slowly to his feet, hand pressed to his now-injured leg. He looked down at Yukiteru with cold eyes, and he stared back bemusedly. "This game is fake. The point of this game has _never_ been to kill everyone else – that's just what the game masters want you to think. You and A-ya and Yato—all of you have just fallen into the very trap that they've set out. Because it's _they_ who never want the game to end. You should know that the game masters who disagree with the game don't take kindly to the thought of reset. Do they?" He pointed accusingly at the kid, who sat still as stone in shock. Izaya felt something like hot coals build in his chest, and was curious to find he still felt frozen. "You've had every opportunity to turn this all around." He noted that his voice was thick with icy acid. "So why haven't you? Hah?"

"…I…?" Yukiteru found his argument to sound uncannily similar to the one A-ya had once made.

"You're a pathetic excuse of a—" Izaya paused, then snickered, lowering his hand. "No, no, you're the perfect picture of a human being. But as for a friend—my, my… You're spouting nothing but nonsense in regards to your so-called _friend_ A-ya. You want to be there for him? Do you _really_ think that following him into Hell is the answer? Oh, how classically romantic! Two friends drowning together in the tides of their own tragedy! No. If you want to help A-ya, you snap him out of it already—get him out of there before the high tide comes—maybe it's already too late! If that's the case, you should just put him out of his misery! How's that for a shocker?" His glare only grew more concentrated, a stare through slitted eyes. "You've done _nothing_ for him. In the end, you're just relying on him, even now. What do you expect him to do for you, at this point? Hah… You can't say you haven't been in a dependent relationship before. You came in here saying you didn't need anyone, when really your more desperate than ever! Disgusting."

Yukiteru closed his mouth, eyes wide. "Wh…" He built himself up again, shaking his head. "What do _you_ know?"

Izaya's mouth twisted. "Hah… You're right. I don't have experience in the realm of 'friends.' It's safe to say that I don't know anything at all." He took a step towards the weapons, devoid of expression once more. "On that note, you can kill me now if you really want to. In retrospect, even if you were to kill me, it's not like it would matter, would it? No one would know. No one would care."

"Do you want to die?"

He lifted the Prophet with a frown. "No. To be honest, I'd rather not. But if you kill me, that just goes to show which way you're going from here. Isn't that so? And then I'll carry this knowledge with me to the grave. Even then, maybe I'll come back next time. Seeing as we'll probably reset and all."

As he sheathed his sword, he went still as Yukiteru grabbed for his machine gun. "…A-ya…," he said, and Izaya blinked his eyes at him, lids wide open.

"…Mm?"

"…He said the same thing, once upon a time." Yukiteru followed after him, getting to his bare feet with the machine gun cradled in his arms. "That the game was fake… and that the whole 'battle royal' deal was a lie, too. I don't know what to think, yet, exactly… But I know that that used to be what A-ya believed in. So… I'll wait a little bit longer." He frowned back at Izaya, tone both firm and cautious. "It's not like I trust you just yet, but—I haven't killed you, either. Are you gonna keep to what you said?"

Izaya furrowed his brow for a moment, then smiled thinly. "The items pillar, hah? Oh, sure… Come on, then."

"There'd better actually be one, or you're dead."

"I know, I know. Show me a little bit of faith, Yukiteru-kun."

"And why should I? You never even said who you are."

"Oh, I didn't, did I?" Slowly, Izaya headed for the door, wary of where Yukiteru was pointing the gun. Limping, he made his way through the shattered glass and out the front doors, also broken. "What brought you here, anyway? The noise?"

"Yeah." Yukiteru trotted after him with a gravely serious expression. "I heard gunshots and glass shattering, but when I got here, nobody was fighting. I heard you in the office, and so I found you."

" _My_ question is where you kids keep getting machine guns," Izaya sighed. "Shintaro Kisaragi was the one who shot at me, I think. What are you all _doing_? Really… Everyone's changing so drastically after I turn my back for just a moment. Everyone wants to shoot me, apparently."

"Who _are_ you? You still haven't said that."

"Does it really matter?"

"I mean, I guess not… I could call you Liar."

"Oh, please don't," he winced. "The demon calls me that."

"That doesn't sound very promising."

"Yes, well, demons are deceivers themselves, so take it with a grain of salt."

"I guess so…" Yukiteru sped up the pace to walk beside him. "So, wait—"

"If you want to be threatening, stay behind me," Izaya interrupted him, cocking an eyebrow. "It's easier for me to just up and slash you this way, and harder for you to catch me off-guard."

Yukki frowned. "I was gonna ask how far away the items pillar was."

"Ah, just down the street here."

"How far down the street?" he asked suspiciously.

"This building here."

"Mm…" Izaya opened the door for him and everything, gesturing inside to the softly glowing pillar awaiting him. Yukiteru blinked. "So there really _is_ a pillar here!"

"You were doubting me that much?"

"Yeah, I really was," Yukiteru remarked, walking in. Frowning slightly, Izaya followed behind him. "Say, if I don't know your name, what do I call you?"

"Oh, I suppose it's fine… My name's Izaya Orihara. Pleasure to meet you, Yukki," he said drily. "Is it alright if I call you that? 'Yukki'?"

"I… guess so. Is Izaya fine?"

"Oh, of course, of course…"

"Then hey… Izaya."

"Mm?"

"If you're right, and A-ya's just caught in a trap, then Yato's also wrong, right?"

"That's… right." Izaya's brow furrowed.

Yukiteru deflated. "That means, then, that Akise-kun really… did betray me after all… huh?"

"Hah? How's that, Yukki?" Izaya stuck his hands in his pockets, turning to face him properly. "I am curious. What happened to Akise-kun? He isn't dead, is he?"

"He went with Yato, I think…"

"With Yato?" Izaya's brow furrowed further. "When he killed Twelve and took out Suzu-chan, Yato was only with Nora."

"Was he…?"

"I can't imagine that Akise would have followed after Yato."

"But _he_ was the one that decided to take in Yato when he collapsed – Nora wasn't around, see, and our group took good care of him because we thought maybe we could help him stop hurting… We did that because Akise suggested it. But Rika tried to warn me that Akise could be on Yato's side, and then right after that… everyone died, and Akise and Yato were both gone… And…"

Izaya drew his lips into a thin line, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Is that so…?" _Ah, I pulled that one, didn't I? Whoops._ "That was a rumor that A-ya had spread through the goddess Hanyuu. Rika-chan had sent the goddess after A-ya's group to watch over them, and A-ya told her about Akise being so suspicious – I'm not sure, maybe he was jealous." He shrugged.

"A-ya…," Yukki repeated. "Rika… Hanyuu… And then… Akise…?" He thought on this, remembering what A-ya had said – 'If I kill Akise, you'll understand how I feel then, right?' or something like that… Was it? "But why wouldn't Yato kill Akise?"

"Maybe he did," Izaya suggested.

"Then where's his _body_?"

"If Akise were alive, would he leave his notebook behind?"

"His…?" Yukiteru's eyes widened as Izaya pulled the blue notebook from his jacket pocket. "It's his—? Where did you—?"

"It was lying on the ground outside of that house," Izaya answered, detached. He turned the tiny book over in his hand, then closed his eyes again and pocketed it once more. "I have a feeling he wouldn't just leave it lying there. Do you think?"

"No… But then… where is he…?"

"No clue."

"You're supposed to know _everything_ , you said!"

"Eh, everyone has limitations… It's not like I'm god."

"That's—!"

"It could be that he just disappeared," he offered, and Yukiteru backed off a bit.

"Huh?"

"Think about it. Even if he didn't betray you, he was still pretty suspicious. He just appeared in-game out of nowhere, didn't have a group number…"

"Like you?"

Izaya's mouth twitched. "Kind of."

"But I thought Akise was the fourth member of Group 6…," Yukki said thoughtfully, and Izaya found himself frowning again.

"There was still a lot of mystery about him, wouldn't you say? Almost as though he didn't belong in-game?"

"Un… I guess so…"

"Then it wouldn't be out of the question to assume that he was just taken out of the game's equation when he died… right?"

"Then… he's dead?" Yukiteru blinked. "That's horrible," he commented, but he didn't seem able to bring forth any concrete emotion. Perhaps he couldn't process it.

"Probably. Sorry to break it to you."

"It's better than him working with Yato, I think."

"That's a good way to look at it…"

"Yeah… I guess I'll get my item, then?" At the questioning tone, Izaya gestured to the pillar, backing up and leaning against the nearest wall.

"By all means."

Yukiteru approached the module gently pulsating purple. He didn't react when it activated, the silhouette spreading its arms in welcome as usual. " _Congratulations, Yukiteru Amano! Naturally, the only selection you can make is your own._ "

"Quiet, Muse," Yukiteru said flatly to the hologram, and the figure straightened. "That's your name, isn't it?"

Izaya's eyes flickered in interest as he watched a black crescent smile spread in the static of the figure's face. " _I hope you enjoy,_ " they said, and disappeared as Yukki jabbed his index finger at his button.

 _Ah,_ thought Izaya, _if A-ya had been able to select something here, Yukki wouldn't be permitted to make a selection, would he? Lucky._ After all, this was the pillar they'd used to save Twelve after he'd been eviscerated. Why had he been given the chance to live only to die so pointlessly? Izaya decided to think about it later.

With a flash of light, Yukiteru got his item, materialized in his open hand. Izaya peered at it from his place by the wall, what was that? _A cellphone…_

"My phone!" Yukki exclaimed, immediately setting his machine gun on the ground and flipping open the deep blue cellular device.

"What's that about?" Izaya sighed. "I hate cellphones." He approached anyway – Yukiteru's eyes were shining with something Izaya thought might be similar to his own fixations. Since Yukki didn't answer, Izaya looked over his shoulder to watch the tiny screen of the flip phone as Yukki frantically pressed buttons, looking through note files that were filled only with blanks.

" _It's empty…_ ," he uttered lowly. Izaya, sensing the kid's growing frustration and malice, backed off, hands still in his pockets.

 _Uh-oh,_ he thought.

"Why is it empty…? Why isn't there anything—my diary—my journals, where are they?! The future—?" He flicked the phone shut angrily, raising it into the air. " _What point is there giving me this if it isn't going to TELL me anything?!_ " And he chucked it at the wall, falling into a crouching fetal position.

Izaya looked at his crouching figure, then at the cellphone on the floor. It hadn't broken – good thing, he guessed. Sighing, he went to the discarded device and picked it up from the floor. "They're probably just trying to mess with you," he said in that detached way. "They like doing that."

Yukki only curled tighter into himself.

Izaya just stood there for some time, tilting his head at the other. "…Jeez," he said eventually. "I don't know what to tell you here. You really are helpless, aren't you? To think, you rely on something like the 'future'… The future may feel assured, but it really isn't. Only the past is real. No matter how distorted it can become through perception…"

"You just don't understand," Yukiteru uttered, and Izaya's mouth downturned.

"Oi…"

A ringing sound broke the tension, and they both turned to stare at the flickering front screen of Yukiteru's cellphone. It quickly ended. "A message?" they asked in unison, and Yukiteru pounced forward, snatching the phone from Izaya's hand.

"Hey, now—"

Eyes wide in anticipation, Yukiteru opened it, allowing Izaya to look over his shoulder again. The screen lit up with a small animation of a letter floating up and down: _1 New Message._ Yukki's thumb hovered over the confirmation button. "An unknown number…?" He decidedly opened it, his eyes widening at the message it displayed. Izaya's eyes narrowed, conversely. The message was short, but to-the-point.

It said only, [I'm still alive.]


	49. Shift

A-ya sat, idle, atop a skyscraper, with his legs dangling over the ledge from beneath the railing. At his side, there was food that he'd gathered for himself – a collection of assorted fruit and chocolate candy. At present, he was eating a strawberry. "Do you think," he said aloud, "that it was Yukiteru that downed the forest?"

 **It's a possibility,** the serpent answered. **I can think of no one else that has the ability to do so.**

"Mm, the only other one I can think of would be that other half-ghoul, and I don't think they can do something like _that_." He cast the leaves of his finished strawberry over the edge to drop however many stories to the streets below. "Which means that it was probably Yukiteru after all." Hopelessly, he began to smile. "I can't tell, do you think he was trying to kill me?"

 **I wouldn't be able to give a proper answer, but from our current understanding of Observer, I can't see him actually trying to kill you, kid.**

"I wonder whether he acted alone or with the others."

 **Somehow I'd have to presume he did that alone.**

"Then was it that he really wanted to see me? It was just after I joined the fight—he probably saw the lightning, didn't he? He's still looking for me."

 **Obviously. Besides, if I'm right, the others may be dead…**

A-ya released a sudden bark of laughter. "Good!" he exclaimed, gripping the bars of the railing joyously. "Good, good, good!"

The serpent offered only a flicker of surprise.

"Do you think he's angry, Kuroha? Do you think he's mad at me? Do you think? Or do you think he wants to be with me?"

 **Which is it you want, little Master?**

"I'd be happiest either way!" He felt his broken wrist straining with how tightly he was gripping the railing, and as the pain shot down his arm, his grin widened. He envisioned a reunion where they could be at each other's sides, yes, a picture of them forcing the return to the beginning; the creation of the next world! Their favorite color would be dyed as red as A-ya's hands, and they would walk to the coda with their hands clasped together the whole way.

Conversely, Yukiteru's judgment, the look of horror in his eyes, or the anger vibrating through the air with his hands around A-ya's neck—

"Either way," A-ya said breathily, his head resting on the bars in front of him and his face frozen in distorted bliss, "…it would be the best thing in the world."

The serpent smiled. From here, all was going smoothly, wasn't it? Amazingly, this little master was so beautifully receptive to his molding. He could strip Loner away to the bare bones of what he'd been, leaving only the thing called 'love.' That, the most powerful of human emotions, was the one and only thing he could not drown. All he could do was bring his black hands to it, taint it, distort it, twist it into something nearly unrecognizable. In a situation like this, that was surely fine!

"I'm gonna see Yukiteru again…" He closed his eyes, the top of his head still pressed the metal bars. "And we'll be so, so red…" _Like that night, right?_

He'd never been closer to C-ta than when that boxcutter was so near to slipping between A-ya's ribs. Never had he felt so vividly as when his scissors sank into C-ta's flesh. Never had he felt such potent reality as when he drew the blades to his own throat—

"I can't wait… to see him…" He was trembling with laughter he could barely contain. _Ecstasy._

Something like concern bled from the serpent to the boy. **Now… don't tell me you want him to kill you…**

"Hey, Kuroha," he said distractedly, "you're looking forward to it, too, aren't you? To seeing him? You've given me so much! And all I can give back is this fondness—tell me, how does it feel? How does it feel? Is it strange? Is it terrible? Wonderful? Surely you feel the same way, don't you?"

As the boy laughed to the wind flooding the stillness, the serpent found he didn't know how to answer at first. **You and I,** he said eventually, **are one and the same. That's why you don't have to worry about misunderstandings.**

"Then even while I wait to be at his side again, I'll still have you!" And he laughed wildly to the open air beyond them, legs outspread into empty space. "I'll never be lonely again! Never again!"

… A warmth settled over A-ya; a comfortable sense of darkness. **That's right, little Master. Never again.**

Tittering to himself, A-ya lifted a morsel of chocolate and popped it into his mouth. "None of this would have happened if you hadn't come to me," he commented.

 **I was only called by your powerful wish, of course. That was your own longing.**

"Still, thank you."

How odd, for a human to thank him for tragedy. **This chocolate is quite pleasant,** he uttered mentally in return. A-ya only laughed again, indulging in a few more pieces.

Somewhere apart from them, Yato slowly, painfully put his bloodstained not-white-anymore shirt back on. Nora crouched in front of him, her eyes wide and filled with jaded innocence – as if that made any form of sense. She tended to his wounds as best she could already, but he hadn't spoken a word to her despite her soft prodding.

She brought her hands to her cheeks, smiling warmly. Knowingly. "You sure are being quiet, Yato," she said.

"If it weren't for the demon's vessel, I'd be dead right now," he answered bitterly.

"Does that bother you?"

"That kid is the vessel to a _demon_ … I don't want to be saved by the likes of him."

"What does it matter?" She tilted her head. "All that matters is that you made it out."

"But for how much longer?" he uttered, zipping up his tracksuit jacket only halfway, sighing, and then leaning back on the palms of his hands.

Nora put her own hand on one of his, her eyes shining with her distorted warmth. She noticed that his eyes had a glassy sheen themselves. "We'll make it out of here. We'll return to Father. And we'll be a family again."

"A family…," he repeated distantly, staring at the ceiling.

"Something is still nagging at you. Is it more than the vessel?"

Closing his eyes, Yato pulled his hand from hers and laid down on the ground, there, rolling over so his back was to her. "What was Yukki thinking?"

"Yukki…?" She blinked, bemused at first. Then her eyes narrowed, expression darkening. "Ah, one of the children of that group you slaughtered last? You did leave the two who weren't around, didn't you?"

"No reason to track them down," he uttered. "Perfect time to target Izaya's group. A-ya was gone."

"Don't tell me that boy softened you again…"

"No. It's not that," he said flatly.

"Well then…" Yato felt her arms coming around him from behind as she embraced him, kneeling and bending to do so. She was careful not to put too much pressure on his injured body, nestling herself comfortably aside him. "…We'll just have to kill him, won't we?"

Yato didn't answer.

"He's just another player that we need to get rid of."

"He's also bound to face off with A-ya sooner or later…"

"Do you think one will really get rid of the other?"

"I don't know." He curled into himself just slightly.

A frown touched her lips, her eyes still dark. "Hm…" She released him, sitting up with her legs furled beneath her. "For now, all we can do is find out. We can only hope that the vessel kills this child 'Yukki'… After all, there's no doubt he'll want to kill you after what you did to his group. Isn't that true, Yato? You know that, right?"

"I know." His voice was tight.

"Then you'd better hope he dies before he finds you," she said simply. He didn't answer. "That, certainly…" – she began to smile again – "…would be a blessing, wouldn't it, Yato?"

"…I'm going to sleep," he said.

"Alright." She got to her feet, putting a hand gently to his shoulder. "You need to get better. I'll be waiting for you when you awaken."

"Mm." He listened to the soft clacking of her wooden sandals against the linoleum floor. His eyes remained open even as she left the room. _I wonder…_ he thought vaguely, _…what path he's taken._ Sighing, stared at the empty wall in front of him.

* * *

"You know, you're walking too fast," Shintaro frowned, struggling to keep up to pace with the half-ghoul that was by now pretty far ahead of him.

Seidou, frowning bitterly, turned to look behind him. "Fuckin' shut-in," he growled, and sped back to where Shintaro was, scooping him up and slinging him over his shoulder. At this point, Shintaro had stopped protesting whenever this happened. The harrowed one noticed that after he'd been picked up, Seidou had sped the pace even further. For some time, neither of them spoke, only moved. It had been maybe an hour since they set out, but now that Seidou was practically running, Shintaro watched as the city thinned. The half-ghoul paused for a moment, standing upon a dirt road.

Finally, Shintaro asked: "Where, exactly, are you taking me now? When I said west, I didn't mean _this_ far west."

"I never said I was listening to you," he muttered in answer. "Dumbass."

"Right," Shintaro sighed. "So, that didn't answer my question."

"Do you care?"

The harrowed one thought about this. "…I guess I don't."

"I thought not. Quiet, then."

Sighing again, he complied, feeling the movement as Seidou continued yet further. Closing his empty grey eyes, he let the world move apart from them. He was lulled into a void. He wished for non-existence. Something that could not be, but at least for now, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling… Well, he guessed he could do without Seidou's shoulder digging into his diaphragm.

His eyes opened when they came to an abrupt halt. Below him, he saw patches of upturned grass and dirt. Before he could respond to the land, he found himself being cast to the ground by his captor. He landed hard on his already-bruised tailbone and winced. "Was that really necessary?" he asked dully.

"Are _you_ really necessary?" Seidou snipped right back at him, and Shintaro seemed to concede his point. The NEET found his own acid spat back at him. He supposed it was fair.

Now then, where were they? Shintaro looked at his surroundings as he got to his feet. Seidou had placed the machine gun off out of Shintaro's reach – they were in a familiar open field, the ground torn into something no longer level. Seidou, frowning, pointed to what was apparently the most important piece of this puzzle: laid out were the bodies of Tsuki, of Psyche, of Shizuo and of Yukine.

Something did begin to stir in him – Seidou watched as Shintaro's grey irises trembled. He looked at them fleetingly, scanning over the dead as if looking for a shorter time would spare him from having this re-ingrained into his photographic memory. He could not look at Tsuki. Yukine—his eyes were open, glazed and peering at him. He caught his dead gaze and froze; why hadn't anyone closed his lids? Shintaro's eyes flickered crimson before he looked away again, bringing a hand to his head uncomfortably.

"Why are we here, exactly…?" Shintaro uttered, unconsciously backing up from the line of bodies. "We need… to leave…"

"You don't feel anyt **hing, right? That's the problem, right? Hey, catch.** "

The harrowed one looked up just in time to catch what Seidou had tossed at him. He was surprised by how heavy it was—what was it, exactly? He looked down into slumbering face of Psyche, oh dear god, he was holding onto his decapitated head, and…

" **Ya wanna play ball? Kickball, maybe? Dodgeball?** "

"I'm not very sport-oriented…," Shintaro mumbled through numb lips. He couldn't tear his eyes from the head in his hands. His dull pink headphones had a pink chord hanging off that ended too soon. Though there was a thin line of blood down his pale chin, one could pretend it was just the face of someone sleeping – just don't look at the neck, crushed into a red mess as if it were a twisted cola can. Shintaro imagined the eyes opening into empty sockets of static, black-and-white tears flowing silently as the lips parted and released a wail of off-tune white noise.

A dim ringing in Shintaro's head grew to a pronounced thrum that invaded his eardrums like the terrible scream of an old glass-screened television. He couldn't feel it, but Psyche's head slipped from his fingers and to the soft earth at his feet. He was trembling down to the marrow of his bones. He felt his veins flooding with something buzzing, terrible and acidic.

" **Aa? You feeling something? Hah?** " _Surely,_ Seidou thought with a terrible grin, _this reality will snap him out of it…!_ His single eye narrowed in satisfaction as Shintaro staggered backwards and collapsed.

" _Why…_ "

" **Hm?** "

He stared up at Seidou with wide, quivering eyes. "Why was I gifted with something so terrible?" he asked, and Seidou tilted his head to the side. "Why me? I don't understand—what am I supposed to do with these memories, Seidou? Huh?"

" **That's right, feel exactly how regretful you are…** " Seidou's smile faltered when Shintaro curled forward, hands gripping tightly at his raven hair.

"Why would I want to see tragedy, again and again and again and—I don't—want to just see tragedy, you know? You know? I hate—I hate being the last one standing. Everyone else went and left me, didn't they? Every time. Survivor's guilt? Don't make me laugh… It's a survivor's curse… I don't want to live… I should be dead by now… Is it my fate to live and suffer? Everyone else… is so— _selfish, leaving me here like this…_ "

"… **Eh—** "

" _Don't say a word,_ " Shintaro uttered, low and cold. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to. You're _annoying._ Just go away. I can't—" He curled tighter into himself, covering his ears and closing his eyes. "It's too bright—get me out of here—I need—I need to—"

Seidou stared at him, stiff. _…Did it work?_

Shintaro was paralyzed in an internal ocean of static. He couldn't breathe, nor see, nor hear. Something inside was threatening to splice his heart into two. Why couldn't it? End him here! "Disappear," he uttered, feeling himself fracturing into pieces that couldn't reconnect. _It's so cold… I hate it… I hate this… I need to leave, need to find somewhere dark, it's too light, too bright, too—_

They were all around him, the bodies were looking at him and so was Seidou—shut it out, shut it down, make it go away, make it stop—

"Kill me," he whispered. " _Please._ "

" **Oi…,** " Seidou frowned, uncertain. " **Now, what's your problem…?** "

 _I'd rather go to sleep, and dream, and see her, see her again, she'll be there, and we'll be so…_ "…Happy…" _This world, this terrible world, this shaking reality, this horror story, it'll break me up into bits and pieces…!_

He removed his shaking hands from his head, his eyes still wide. He looked at the fallen head of Psyche. "…Always, his smile had been so nice," he said distantly. "Tsuki's, too." Brow furrowing, a thin, pained smile spread over his face, growing pallid. "They were so _pretty_. Like hers. You know? Ayano, she had—the prettiest smile. I still know the exact shade of her hair, too—I'll never forget the sound of her voice the way other people would forget her, those bastards…" He laughed faintly, with a hitch. "I—don't want to see any of this tragedy again. I want to see _her_. Ayano, I want to see Ayano… Ayano… Ayano…"

Seidou stared at his breakdown, lost for an answer. _…Shit._

"You can't ever reach and touch such a thing… It may just break. All of it's a deception anyway, it doesn't mean anything. It only hurts you in the end. Hahah… What sort of hero are you if you just go and selfishly leave me like that?"

The half-ghoul felt his body take a step up in rigidity. "This is totally not what I wanted out of you," he said in a tight voice. "Dumbass, you're not the only survivor."

"I'd rather… be all alone, anyway," he said darkly. "That's what I want. That's what I… most desire…"

Seidou's lip curled. "You can't just go and say that. Do you want to see her or not, huh?!"

"Why does it matter? She's already dead."

"What does it—?" Seidou gritted his teeth, eye blazing. " **You little motherfucker; are you still blaming yourself?** "

Shintaro only laughed drily, looking up with a cold, twisted smile. "Don't worry, even if I tried, I couldn't possibly join her in Hell where we belong…"

" **You think you're** _ **incompetent?**_ **You think you've failed, huh? Oh, yes, the problem you couldn't solve: Ayano!** _ **Ayano-chan,**_ **wherever you are, you're probably damned** _ **ashamed**_ **of this pathetic piece of trash that is Shintaro Kisaragi!** " Stepping over the bodies, Seidou leaned down to properly face Shintaro. " **You were right; you were the problem all along, right?** "

Shintaro stared into his fiery eyes, his ice melting into the void once more. "…That's right," he agreed.

" **Because you never did ANYTHING RIGHT,** _ **right?**_ **Because even if you were to go back in time, you'd still do the exact same thing, wouldn't you?** _ **Wouldn't you?**_ "

"I guess I would," he answered, vaguely listless.

" **Because** _ **you're**_ **the mistake, right?** "

"…Exactly…"

" _ **Bullshit**_ **.** "

Shintaro blinked, eyes flickering. "…What?"

" **You think** _ **you're**_ **a failure? Because of** _ **her**_ **? When obviously SHE WAS THE ONE WHO FAILED? You fucking** _ **dumbass!**_ " he spat.

"She failed me, and I failed her. Is that really so hard to comprehend?"

" **How DARE you call yourself a failure when I have NEVER, not ONCE, been a success?!** "

"And how am _I_ a success?" asked Shintaro, tilting his head. "If you try and tell me it's because of my grades, you're wrong."

" **Not—the** _ **grades—**_ "

"No? Because you should know by now that it's not the numbers that matter, right? It's…"

"… **The people?** " Seidou's mouth twisted into a sardonic grin. " **Pretty ironic, coming from someone who suddenly can't connect with anyone. You're doing nothing but contradicting yourself again.** "

"You do it all the time," Shintaro answered dully.

He scoffed. " **Entirely not the point. You really** _ **do**_ **still care about other people, huh? Otherwise you wouldn't have broken down just now, right? All that apathy is just a front, get it? So just** _ **shut up**_ **about all of that 'not caring' bullshit, because really you're just trying to cover up that you care** _ **too much**_ **to connect.** "

"I don't know that that's quite the case…"

" **I DON'T CARE.** "

Shintaro frowned. "Then shouldn't you stop making the argument that you hate everyone?"

" **Oh, shut up.** _ **You're**_ **the one who accepted the challenge of saving me, who doesn't want to be saved—** "

"—Who is desperate to be saved," Shintaro corrected icily.

" **Who** _ **wants you to shut up**_ ," he hissed.

"Who can't stand the truth being pointed out to him."

" **Who doesn't know what the truth** _ **is**_ **.** "

Shintaro was quiet. So was Seidou.

" **Roppi… was r** ight, after all, wasn't he?" Seidou sneered, a shimmer of distress in his eye. "Every one of us, saying the exact opposite of what we're feeling—what a sardonic setup that is… How terrible. How terribly—fu **nny. Fuckin' hilarious. What sort of dark comedy is this? I—hate it.** "

"…Me too," Shintaro said eventually, and Seidou looked at him. The NEET stared back with dead eyes. Seidou supposed that he'd gone back to being numb rather than drowning in his emotions. Narrowing his eye, the white-haired one frowned. "…What now, then?" asked the shut-in.

" **I don** 't know," he uttered. "Really, it's all just real stupid, I think." Sighing harshly, he went to pick the machine gun back up. "Let's get away from the bodies for now—I actually hate the other harrowed you worse than this one. I mean, at least you _react_ , but what the fuck…"

"Back to the city, then?"

"The dirt road," Seidou corrected in a growling tone. "For now." With that, he yanked Shintaro to his feet and practically dragged him back in the direction they'd come.


	50. Friend

"Izaya, it won't let me send a message back—what do I do?"

Izaya sighed as he rolled his pant leg back down – he'd just tended to the bullet wounds Yukki had dealt him. "Wait for the next message, I'd suppose," he said.

"But—what if it never says anything else…?"

"I somehow doubt that whoever it is will remain silent for too terribly long."

"Who do you think it is? Is it Akise? Or is it Celty? It could be her. Did you know she's a 'Dullahan'? That's from Irish folklore. A-ya told me about it. Isn't that cool? I got to see her take her helmet off and everything. I can't imagine someone like that dying."

Izaya frowned. _And yet I'm the one that told A-ya that very tidbit._ He sighed heavily.

"Right, you probably saw her without her head when you went and found Akise's notebook," the cloaked one said thoughtfully.

"Anyway," said Izaya, "about who's contacting you, I couldn't tell you that. I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything…!"

The informant frowned at the cloaked one, eyes narrowing. "Well, I lied."

"Ah… but…" Yukki paused. "Mm, well, you've helped me out so far, so I guess we can figure it out… Yeah?"

Izaya drew his lips into a thin line, looking mildly irritated. "Yukki."

"Yeah…?"

"What are you thinking, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can't tell me you already trust me, just like that." He got to his feet from the table he sat upon, spreading his arms. "You confronted me under the context that you couldn't trust _anyone!_ What makes you think you can trust me? Hah? Are you an _idiot?_ "

Yukki considered this, bringing one hand to the back of his head. "I mean, for one thing, you're saying all that right now, and you actually sound upset about it for some reason. And that should mean that you're telling the truth."

"It doesn't quite work like that, kid…"

"And besides, you have nothing to worry about, Izaya! Because I don't trust you one bit!"

Izaya found himself sighing again. "You're hopeless…"

"Really, don't worry about it," Yukiteru said reassuringly. "I'll doubt every word you say, okay?"

"That's not… Jeez…"

"But um, theoretically, if you were honest, do you think you could get a message to send from this thing?"

"It's probably rigged to make sure you can't," Izaya frowned. "The game masters are pretty thorough about all this."

"Speaking of game masters," he blinked, "didn't you want to use the items pillar?"

"I already used it," Izaya waved him off.

"I don't believe you."

"Hah?" Izaya furrowed his brow. "It wouldn't activate if I went up to it."

"Prove it."

Izaya stared at him, expression deadpan. "…Fine." He walked up to the pillar, which remained dark. "See?"

"Hm, I see," Yukiteru said thoughtfully, nodding a few times with one hand at his chin. "But does this mean that you aren't a real player in-game, or is it that you've really used it already?"

"…I see what you're doing."

"You didn't want me to trust you, right?"

"Yukki, I don't remember you being such a smartass," he smirked, looking bothered.

"I don't remember you at all," Yukki pointed out, and Izaya looked at the ceiling.

"You have a point… For all you know, I've never actually met you… Funny."

"I don't think it's funny. Actually kind of scary. Almost makes you a stalker, doesn't it? Since you know so much about me?"

Izaya cocked an eyebrow at him. "And you've had experience with that kind of thing, haven't you, Yukki?"

"Yeah. It kinda sucked," he commented mildly, staring intently at his silent cellphone.

That mirthless smile twisted Izaya's features again. "Aa, don't you worry, though, Yukki, I'm nothing of the sort. That sort of thing is beneath me," he waved him off.

"So you're a serious stalker, got it."

"Are you just going to believe the exact opposite of everything I say?"

"Yeah, I guess I will."

Izaya thinned his lips. "Alright, well, I only speak in lies, so that's fair, isn't it?"

Yukiteru began to nod, then looked at him with wide eyes. "Hey…"

"Whoops, I made a paradox," the informant shrugged.

"Oh, jeez, what should I do with that? That's no fun…! Oh, well, I guess that means I'll have to trust you selectively."

Izaya tilted his head. "You know what's interesting about you?"

"I have gravity powers!" he answered brightly, and Izaya blinked.

Chuckling, he responded, "Not what I was going for." He held up his silver-ringed index finger, smile pulled over his face. "You don't really get irritated. If anything, you present frustration in giddy hysterics – and that's the most extreme things. Must be some kind of defense mechanism or something."

"Huh?"

"Of course that doesn't apply to everything… Hm, but when you _do_ get angry, you sure are unstable. Scary~"

"Ah, well, I guess I have the right to be angry about _some_ stuff, right?"

"That's quite the understatement," Izaya commented, and pushed off of the table he was leaning on to cross over to the self-serving section of the store. "Say, what does Yukki like to drink? Tea? Coffee?"

"Uhm, you're making drinks?"

"I'd like a refreshment myself, and seeing as you were kind enough not to kill me, I thought I should offer such hospitality."

"Oh, tea is fine, then…"

"Green or black?"

"Uu, green."

"Got it," Izaya said dismissively, and walked out the door.

Yukki stared after him before jumping to his feet, delayed. "Wai…!" He ran after him, finding him walking casually down the street with his hands in his pockets. "Say, you didn't run off."

"Of course not. You shot me in the leg; I'm limping. It certainly won't do for what _I_ have planned, but I'll have to manage."

"Sorry…"

"No need to apologize – the one who injured me most severely wasn't you, anyhow. That one…"

"What exactly _are_ you planning?" Yukki asked curiously as they turned into a grocery store.

"For now, that's secret… Oh, good." He'd found what he needed: it was one of those hot water dispensers, you know, that stores keep in little cubbies. The customers can put together their coffee or their tea however they like, and then they drink it in-store and pay for it at the register. The information broker turned his back to Yukki as he tested the water for heat. After futzing with the plug and succeeding in starting the machine that kept the water warm, he proceeded to ignore the cheap tea packets on the counter there, walking off with a measured pace to an isle that would have proper tea bags.

Yukki followed after him like a curious puppy. "So, uh…"

"Mm." He didn't seem amused, scanning the boxes of tea and eventually plucking a box from the shelf. Yukiteru decided to stay quiet for a while. So, as Izaya toyed with the water heater back at the counter, the younger sat comfortably on the floor and stared in apprehension at his phone. At some point in this period of waiting, the phone went off after all, at which Izaya glanced over at the other. Seeing Yukki immediately flip open his phone, the informant began to make two cups of tea.

Yukiteru's blue eyes shone as he scanned through the next message. He read it once, twice, absorbing the words sent for him. He closed his phone as Izaya held out a cup of tea to him. "Ah…" He set down the phone, accepting the cup. "Thank you…"

"What did it say?" asked the informant as he settled himself on the floor nearby, facing the younger. He sipped gently at his own tea.

Yukiteru just stared into the liquid.

"You don't have to reveal it if you don't wish to, of course," Izaya shrugged, smirking just slightly.

"They mentioned you," he admitted.

"Oh?"

Yukki nodded, and took a sip of his tea. _Ah, not sweetened…_

"If you want anything in your tea, by the way," added Izaya, "you can go on and get it yourself."

"N-no, this is fine…" He began to frown, holding the drink tighter in his hands.

Izaya eyed him. "What is it, Yukki?"

Yukki didn't look up, gaze fixed on his tea. "Did I really used to know you, Izaya?"

"Hm?" Izaya blinked at him. "Why ask this now?"

"Because…" In the wavering reflection of his tea, Yukki's face was obscured. "…There's no way I wouldn't know who you are, if I'd met you already."

"Is that so?" Unconcerned, Izaya sipped again at his own cup.

"I feel like it's okay to explain something like this… From my realm, something like a Future Diary…"

"I don't think I'd have been in your future," Izaya pointed out, cocking an eyebrow. "Otherwise you would have known these games would take you out of that situation."

"That's not what I mean…"

"Oh? Do tell."

Yukiteru drew his lips into a thin line. "Everyone's journal was specified to a certain focus, depending on the person. I'd had the observer's journal… the Random Diary, you see." Izaya looked at him with just slightly more interest. His exhausted intrigue had been sparked. "And that was because… I…" He watched the reflection of light atop the tea's surface quiver as his hands tightened further. "Well, even if you were only in the background, I would have noticed you. I… I'm an observer, I look at everything. I take interest in everything – in everyone else."

"Hah…?"

"I could tell you the schedules of all of my classmates; I could name their interests and their fears if they'd ever given even a hint. That's why I know Roy Mustang was from a world focused on alchemy, and I know that he was worried about a girl named Hawkeye. I know that he liked short skirts, and that he liked to pretend that he was enthralled with women and other frivolous things, and that he had a soft spot for kids… I could go on about anyone I'd actually spent time with. Even before I got caught up with something like a Future Diary, I kept my own… uh, journal. Every moment of every day, recording everything and everyone around me… Oh, I mean—is that weird?"

Yukiteru thought for sure that Izaya was smiling. "Not to me," the informant answered. "But I'm probably not the best person to ask, to be sure…"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're probably more than a little nuts."

Izaya laughed at that. Yukki listened to that hollow ringing, and furrowed his brow even as he sipped at the warm tea he clutched so tightly in his hands. "But Yukki, a weapon like that as a Future Diary, you certainly would have been a formidable opponent! Knowing everything about everyone, why, who could stop you then? You were placed in a war that you could actually win… Imagine everything you could learn! You really could become god by the end, eh?"

Yukiteru's grip on his tea had loosened and, sheepishly, he scratched at his cheek. "I mean, thanks… But there was a slight problem with it, too."

"Oh, certainly." Izaya cocked his head, leaning on one of his palms. He raised his cup with a smirk. "Nobody's invincible, not even God."

"That's a scary thought," Yukiteru admitted, toying with his cloak with his one free hand. "But, no… Um… You see, I wrote about everything and everyone except for… um, myself."

Izaya blinked. "Yourself," he repeated.

"Yeah." He couldn't make out his reflection in the surface of the tea anymore. He sighed. "Why write about me? That wasn't what I wanted to record. I didn't have anything about _me_ that was interesting. And really… I guess the only thing _to_ me was that journal…"

"Basically…" Slowly, Izaya set his drink on the floor. "…You were doing nothing but living vicariously through other people… huh?"

"Wha?"

"You weren't living," he said lowly. "You were using other people to be alive."

"That's—" Yukiteru began to protest, then stopped himself, looking at the ground. "…That's exactly right. But it wasn't like I necessarily _wanted_ to be so apart from the world. I mean—I wanted it; it was what I preferred… And yet, it wasn't what I—what I _longed for_ , you know…? It wasn't what I dreamed about."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" He thought on it. "As distant as I was, and as much as I rejected anyone else's advances, even I—wanted connections." He took on the slow, measured tone of someone gathering their sincerest thoughts and gradually laying them out, not only to convey what they mean to another, but also to come to understand it themselves. "And having said that, I… To be an 'observer;' looking at everyone else as if from afar… I… really, I was so… lonely…"

There was a drawn-out silence that followed, and Yukki feared looking up into eyes that saw right through him. Why had he told Izaya something like that? What would he say? What would he think?

"…Heh…" Yukiteru looked up to see Izaya's mouth upturned in a crooked fashion. "I knew," he said with his gaze averted, "that there was a reason A-ya fell for you. Hah."

"P-pardon me?"

"Regardless, you two are an interesting pair after all…" He sounded subdued, even in his state of intrigue. "Like two old pals walking a tightrope towards one another, each with a noose around your neck. The closer you get to one another, the tighter the nooses get. What will happen? We can only see. I can't wait…"

Yukiteru's lips parted in something that could have been indignance or perhaps horror, but he had nothing to say.

Izaya's smile dropped. "Yukiteru-kun, do tell me this… Why are you so bent on reaching A-ya, hah? Do you think you two had something?"

"Well, I mean…" Yukiteru found his hands tightening around his cup again. "A-ya was… my first friend, see."

"That's nothing special."

"Wh—wait a minute, what's that supposed to—"

"Why do you want to find him so badly, Yukki?" The younger one didn't like the way Izaya's eyes bore into him. "Why do you want to find him? To be at his side?"

"I mean… yes?" he answered, brow furrowed.

"Sound more certain about it, if you're so hellbent on succeeding."

"It's because…" Yukiteru really had to do a lot of critical thinking here. "I do want to be at his side, but I want to be there with him because—because I care about him."

"Why do you care about him?" Izaya pressed.

"Because he's my first friend."

"That doesn't mean anything—"

"Maybe it doesn't mean anything to you," Yukiteru snapped, "but it means something to _me!_ Didn't you have a first friend, huh? I'd bet not!"

He looked surprised, as a child might. "Harsh," Izaya commented after a beat of silence, then sipped at his tea.

The other backpedaled quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—well, I guess I _did_ mean it, but that's only fair… I'm not saying—well, I guess… Uh…"

"No, no," Izaya waved him off, mouth twisted. "You're more or less right. I use the word 'friend' sparingly. Oftentimes I use it mockingly. But to really use it in its proper sense… I'd have to say I had a 'first friend,' myself. I met him when I was your age, in fact. His name is Shinra. How about that, Yukki?"

Yukiteru blinked. "…Really? Are you still friends?"

"He probably would have forgotten about me, too, so hell if I know. I'm on the verge of hoping he _has_ forgotten me, at this point." And he laughed. "No, I'd like it better, even if he were to hate me…" He shook his head. "That's not my point at all, Yukki… You and A-ya aren't anything special, that's all. There is no such thing as fate; there is no such thing as destiny. If there was, you probably defied it just by meeting the kid. You were never meant to meet him, and you were henceforth never meant to befriend him. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I've changed fate before," Yukiteru said matter-of-factly. "Even if, in this ridiculous realm, there is a future set in stone, I can rewrite it if I want to. And you know what, Izaya? Even if all these bad things are happening, I'm glad we're here – all of us! I'm glad these games exist, and I'm glad this realm exists. Because—you're right: I never would have met him."

"If you were to, in any other circumstance than this," Izaya frowned, "you likely would not have been friends."

"So? We are right now."

"Are you?"

He went rigid at the question. "Of course we are."

"How do you know? What's the basis of your friendship? Talking like schoolgirls in the middle of the night?"

"It was more than—"

"There is only one reason that you care for him, and only one reason he cares for you. This is no pure friendship; it isn't deep-rooted or thought-provoking or the result of anything beyond circumstance. Yukki, the only reason you care for A-ya is because he was always there for you in the beginning, right? And he was the first person to ever do that—barring Yuno Gasai, of course."

He flinched. "Well, I…"

"And the only reason he's trying so hard for you is because you gave him what you call a 'future.' Nothing more. You gave him something to look forward to. It's no wonder he wants to reset, kid! Because he doesn't want a future without _you_ in it."

"Is that so wrong?" Yukki asked faintly.

"If anyone else had protected you from the beginning – say Ken Kaneki was the one you were caught up with in-group. Maybe it was Yato, back when he played as the nice guy. Maybe it was Shinichi."

The younger quickly averted his gaze at the name.

"In any of those circumstances for you, someone else would have taken A-ya's place. To put it into perspective, Yukki, everyone has a first friend sometime. Everyone experiences betrayal. No one goes through life untainted, and no one is clear of immorality. Everyone has secrets. Everyone's the same. And that's why your proclamation of friendship means absolutely nothing. Anyone could have become your first real friend. Anyone at all."

"That isn't true," Yukiteru argued. "He and I, we had a lot in common… And we—we went through a lot together, okay? And even if it were a possibility that it wouldn't end up like that—even if you say it's coincidence, it doesn't _matter_ because—because that's what _happened_ , and so _he and I_ , that is, the us of _right now_ , we're friends! If you were to go on about the possibilities of what _didn't_ happen, then nothing in life would matter at all!"

"But you don't actually care about A-ya, do you, Yukki?" His eyes narrowed. "I told you what the truth about the two of you is, and you can't deny it. For both of you, it's nothing but selfishness, through and through."

"So neither of us want to be alone. What of it? We chose _each other_ for company."

"And that's all you want? To have him at your side? Or do you want his well-being?" Izaya smiled a cruel smile. "Judging by the fact that you almost went so far as to support him in his endeavors to self-destruct, I'd have to come to the conclusion that you don't care about him at all. If you want to be by his side now, it's not A-ya that you want as company. He's not A-ya anymore. You just want company, period. You want the ideal of not feeling alone. That's it. He just happens to be your object of choice to achieve this. Is that friendship? You tell me, Yukki."

Yukiteru stared at him. Finding himself too stunned to answer, he gulped down his tea instead.

"Speaking of which, you and I will be parting ways soon, if you'll allow it. I'm probably only going to stick around until I finish this cup of tea."

The cloaked one looked to Izaya's face, now distant. "Wait, you're leaving?"

"Of course I am. That is, unless you kill me…"

Yukki noticed that Izaya's tea was down to the last few sips.

"Don't get me wrong; I really do want to see what happens with you and A-ya." Yukiteru was getting used to that mirthless smirk. "Whether you end up puppets bound by the strings of your hearts, for better or for worse… Whether you cut these strings, strengthen them, or whatever you deem necessary…. Whether you follow A-ya down his path or try to save him… It's your show, see, and I have my own to run—"

"Izaya, I have a request!"

It was Izaya's turn to be surprised, finding Yukiteru looking at him with blue eyes burning with grave conviction. "…Hah? What's that, Yukiteru-kun?"

"Can you leave—that is, can you wait to leave until I finish my drink?"

"I…?" Izaya watched as Yukiteru downed the last of tea and shoved the cup towards the information broker with firm absoluteness.

"And may I have another glass?"

Izaya stared at the cup for a moment, expression comically astonished. His gaze returned to Yukki, then slackened into something akin to worn-out amusement. "…Why, sure."


	51. Smiling Shadow

Nora was using a cloth to wipe the blood from her body – her arms, her face, her hands, her legs. _Indeed, even I am getting worn down,_ she mused, her thoughts flavored with a dash of displeasure. As she was dabbing at one of her name-riddled arms, she paused. A presence was upon her.

She continued to wipe at her wounds. Yato was lying still somewhere in a room above her. A smile touched her lips; she didn't look. "Following us, are you? Do you think you're invisible to me?"

There was a low chuckle. Leaning against the far wall was the man called Durden, his bald head not shining if only because there was no direct light source here. His mouth was pulled into a wry smile that stretched his goatee. "I'm here, alright. Have you been able to see me the whole time?"

"Of course not. I'm sure you've been around longer than even I could know. But you've revealed yourself to me before, haven't you? At the very end of our game…"

Durden shrugged, his thick arms still crossed over his chest. "I don't remember revealing myself to you, specifically. Nah, I was with the terrorist chick Minene. I showed my face to her, to Saiko, and to Rika."

"You think I wasn't paying attention?" Nora chuckled softly. "I was in the hands of Maka, but even facing that unsightly half-ghoul, I could still pay _you_ mind, Game Master." She turned to him, raising a sleeve to her mouth. "And because I've seen you once, it's harder for you to maintain your stealth, isn't that so? Not so much of a smiling shadow now, are you?"

Durden breathed a sigh. "I think it's pretty badass being called a 'smiling shadow' at all. You, though, you're just a bitch."

"Oh?"

"A cold-hearted bitch." He tilted his head. "I hate those. Not that I'm so redeeming myself – I am an _asshole._ Ass. Hole." His eyes were shadowed; he looked grim. "That is something that won't ever change. Maybe Yato won't change either."

"He never has," Nora agreed quietly. "He never will."

Durden's mouth twisted. "You'd be surprised. A lot of people in this game are starting to sober up. Some things don't change – that's true. But people can develop, and that's something else entirely. Sometimes people realize the thing they're running from is the thing they need most. Sometimes people can get stronger, strong enough to stand their own reality. Sometimes people can have an epiphany…" He eyed her with irises shining purple in the dim lighting. "No matter how much people develop, progress or regress, for better or for worse… Aren't they still the same people? You can still lay out all of your flaws and learn to accept them and adapt to them rather than let them rot you. That's all about knowing yourself."

"And who are you, then, Game Master?"

"I feel like I should know." Dry mirth touched his tone. "But you can call me Durden." He looked off into nowhere, expression blank. "That's it, huh… Only two girls left from the girls' game. You and Rika are it. So not cool. At least Rin's pretty hot." He paused. "Guess only you and Rika could blow my cover, though. I was so totally voting for Celty to make it, or at least Minene. My judgment fucking _sucks_. I wanted Touka to make it. Look at what happened. I keep fucking shit up." At that, he started to snicker, low and cruel. "That's the best."

"Is it?" She seemed unamused.

"I have my own plot to fulfill."

The slightest of frowns touched her lips. "And what's that?"

He didn't answer. "Say, you're Yato's partner, aren't you?" She didn't react as Durden stepped towards her, uncrossing his arms. "Shouldn't you fetch him? He's trying to leave."

She blinked. "He…?"

"That would be a good idea, wouldn't it? Oh, right, here." He put a hand on her small shoulder, and she frowned just slightly. "In the northeastern part of the city, there's a shrine. Get some holy water for him – it might help him out. You know? Being Yato's Shinki, you know he's close to being exterminated. That's how this game will end, at this rate. If he keeps going and killing people, he's _going_ to _die._ That's how it is. You led him here. Just saying."

"He will not perish," she said firmly, stepping away from the tall one. He backed off, smiling. "He has me."

"And that means what?" He laughed, a full laugh from the gut that resounded with something cold. "I stick around you guys because you're the antagonists, but do you know what happens to antagonists at the end of a story? They don't make it."

"We are not antagonists."

"Bullshit."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Look, here's all I'm saying." He raised his hands, palms forward, in a show of peace. "You're coming up on something that _will get Yato killed._ This is a test of character. If you don't do something, _Yato will die._ Is that what you desire?" She opened her mouth, but he cut her off. "I don't want the answer from your mouth. I want the answer from your actions. You can keep being a little bitch. It suits you. But let me tell you…" He chuckled again, eyes distant. "You know… I've got a special liking towards Izaya Orihara, too. I so thought you were gonna kill the guy. Would have been fuckin' hilarious… but you didn't. In this case, I couldn't be happier. You know what he's doing right now? You cut his ties… The other masters, they had such a tight grip on Izaya because of how damned inconvenient he was. I disagree – he's fun. Now they can't do shit. You know what _that_ means? Izaya's gonna start playing his game again, and this time, he's gonna do it _right_. He's got a reason to _do shit_ now, and you guys are the ones who gave him that reason."

Somewhere in the shopping district, Izaya was stepping out into the street, Yukiteru at his heels.

"You didn't kill him…" said Durden, "…and that's why he's gonna be the end of Yato. Don't you know it already? If you break something, it comes back stronger."

Reddish-brown eyes, though tired, had a sense of intensity as the information broker looked to the north, his hand on the hilt of the Prophet.

"You'd better get ready…" Durden looked at Nora meaningfully, luminescent eyes glimmering with cruel mischief. "Because _I'm_ excited for what comes next."

Yukiteru grabbed at Izaya's jacket before he could start walking, and the information broker looked back at him. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and Izaya wanted to head out before it started drawing too close to sunset.

"Say, Izaya…," said Yukiteru, hesitant. "I'm going to head to the house where—well… I'm going back to, to the scene where Celty and Minene were. I'm gonna see what's there. I don't suppose you… want to come with me?"

Izaya cocked an eyebrow, smirking a bit. "Heh… Aren't you persistent? No, I'm going to find the one named Ken Kaneki. I'll bet you won't want to meet up with them – seeing as you killed Shinichi Izumi. They were apparently allied, last I checked."

"But I…"

"Listen. You've got some stuff to figure out – I'm not your counselor or anything." He frowned, looking annoyed. "I have my own show to run, and you have yours. So run it. You have some decisions to make – make them yourself. I'm not going to help you. No one is. Understand? It's _your_ choice. Now, if you end up deciding to join me, I'll be with those unified groups, if they'll have me. If you do, of course, you're going to have to go back on your choice to thin out the players. You're going to have to go back on what your friend's doing right now. And you're probably going to have to apologize for killing somebody, because sheesh, that's a tough one." He shrugged, nonchalant. "It's your mess, so clean it up. If you want the mess, if you think it's the good kind of mess, then—well, I guess we'll see one another again on the battlefield. You can go ahead and raise hell, or you can put out the flames. I'm doing both, so I'll meet you there."

Yukiteru stood still, his hands clutched into fists at either side. His machine gun was laid against the wall back in the store; his phone was kept safely in his cloak. He was looking at the asphalt beneath his bare feet, and he noticed that he was trembling. "I…"

"Hm?" Izaya, frowning, tilted his head just slightly.

"I don't know… I don't know at all… For—for saying everything you did… I…"

"Listen," he sighed, "I didn't do anything for your sake—" Izaya was cut off by the kid's embrace, releasing only a pained grunt. It was all he could give. He was less shocked by the pain than he was the fact Yukiteru had hugged him, but his astonishment quickly slipped back into annoyance. "Oi…" He patted Yukki's head grudgingly, and the kid released him, eyes on fire.

"I appreciate it more than I can say. I have a lot to think about. So… don't you go and end up lost, yourself. Got it?"

"Khe… Of course not," said Izaya, turning from him with a slight wave. Yukiteru watched him go for only a little while before he went to gather his things. They parted ways, then, neither planning on letting their sparks peter out.

* * *

Yato lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. The walls were too tall, too dark. He felt an unpleasant heat closing in on his throat; his eyes ached. He felt so incredibly heavy; he didn't want to move. His ears were ringing, his head was beginning to throb. Vision pulsating to the slow beat of his headache, he heard Kaneki: _Do you still detest that depravity of yours?_

And also: _Imagine the tale of a son disgusted by his parent's depravity… Imagine the moment he realizes the same cruel impulses are budding within himself._

What day was it? How long had this game been going on? Yato wanted to sleep, but it would not take him. He pressed his palms to his eyes, gritting his teeth. "What am I supposed to do? What else do I _do?_ "

With his hands pushed to his eyes, the darkness offered peace. He didn't have to be here. He didn't have to be lying injured on the floor of some empty building of some near-abandoned city. He didn't have to be in this game. What kind of ridiculous game was this, anyhow? Impossible—it was impossible.

How could Hiyori have perished? He hadn't seen it happen. No, she was waiting for him somewhere, so where was she? How could he reach her? He needed to get out of here.

Vision obscured in a feverish haze, he sat up perhaps too quickly. His head spun. The dark fingers of unconsciousness crept over the edges of his vision as he staggered to his feet, breathing unevenly. "Hi…yo…" He made his way out the door of the room he was kept in, down the halls and into the stairwell. Bracing himself, he gripped at the railing and jumped over the ledge, down three stories and onto the ground level. He bent into a crouch on impact, and then fell onto his side.

 _And yet…_

As he forced himself to his feet again and through the door, into the lobby of the building he resided in, he felt his heart rupture at the thought of Yukine.

" _I don't want to do this anymore,_ " he whispered hoarsely. The ground was unsteady, but the exit was so close. _They can't be dead. How could they be dead? How could I…?_

As he opened the door, the sun poured on him for only a moment before the handle was ripped from his hands, the door slammed and locked without warning. All around him, the windows clacked shut, the room going dark as though curtains blocked sunlight's entry. A chill permeated the atmosphere. He stood stock-still; the sounds were dizzying. "That's…" Turning to find Nora at his back, her eyes dark and merciless, he bowed his head. "…Hiiro…"

"You were trying to leave after all… and without me." Suddenly back to her eerily warm self, she smiled gently. "It's okay; I forgive you." She took his hand with one of her own, the other pressing tiny fingers to his forehead. "You're ill, poor thing. We'll have to take care…"

"Let me go." He felt sure that he'd meant to sound firm, but it came out as a low utterance of desperation. She paused, surprised, but did not draw back. He pushed away from her, and his legs folded unwillingly beneath him like crumpled wings. He was profoundly confused when he discovered his palms were on the floor.

Tilting her head, she brought a sleeve to her mouth, expression blank. "How strange… You've never said anything like that before."

"I need to get out of here—I need… to get back…"

"To what?" she asked softly.

"To…"

"There's nothing left for you," she said lowly. "The blond Shinki perished before your eyes, and I told you that Hiyori Iki is dead. Yato… _they're gone._ Do you think you can go to Yukiteru? Do you think you can make peace with Ken Kaneki? I think both of them have made it quite clear that they wish to kill you, now. Even if you were to return home and find Hiyori and Yukine alive and well, do you really think they'd like the real you, the you I know so well? Of course they wouldn't… The only place to return to is home, with me. And with Father. Do you understand it yet?" She crouched before him, her eyes softening towards his tormented form. "We have always been the only place for you to belong."

"But I had…"

"Had. You had." She paused, frowning just slightly. "I don't understand why you continue to think of them. She was nothing but a human… no, a lowly half-phantom, at that. She was mortal. She would inevitably die at some point. You knew that. And that new Shinki of yours; he wasn't bound to last you forever. You know that, too. No one ever has lasted but me. We've been together for so, so long…"

He felt hands at his face, cool to the touch. Soft. She lifted his face to meet his eyes, smiling at him with all her warmth. "Oh, Yato… Don't cry, now… It's okay." She brushed lightly at his cheeks with her thumbs. "You are a God of Calamity… tragedy will inevitably follow you. But so will I, without fail. No matter what happens, you will always, always have me. I'll never leave your side. I will not perish, nor will I allow you to. It doesn't matter to me what situation awaits us, because as long as I'm with you, I am happy."

She pulled him into her small arms, and he gave into her embrace. He remembered what it was like to clasp her hand and run barefoot with her through the fields as children. He remembered how they'd cherished the blood they'd shed together. He remembered their closeness, her undying warmth, and her strange and unwavering imperviousness to all the negative things that would normally weigh down a human soul.

"They would have disappeared, someday," she murmured to him, who was silent. "I was always waiting for you to return to me. We are family… All along, you hadn't changed, not really. You were able to pretend for a little while, to have a life where you could temporarily turn a blind eye to the blood on your hands… But in the end, when given a choice, you'll always take my hand. It's alright for you to miss them, but they never knew who _you_ were, did they? No…"

His eyes looked nowhere, dull and hollow. She was right.

"You were even offered another chance, and yet again you still chose me, didn't you? That won't go to waste, Yato… I promise to stay with you and only you, my favorite master… Together, yes, we'll go home together."

"You're—all that I…" His voice was rasping, plagued with sorrow.

"That's right." Her eyes flickered with something close to discontent, but she closed her lids and held him closer. "I'm all you have."

"…Hiiro…"

She didn't answer. She didn't have to. "It's okay, Yato." She was smiling.

"Always, always… You smile like that… You don't care who suffers… You don't care who dies."

"Oh?"

"They meant something to me, whoever I was… whoever I am… and now… I…"

"Then we will avenge them," Nora said simply. "Will that help you?"

"I… I…"

"It's fine. Release what you need to."

And he did. At first he stiffened, trying to stuff everything deep back inside himself, but his psyche felt swollen and his everything was so, so heavy. Gradually, his sorrow presented itself. Crying out to the ceiling, he wept for the first time since the morning after Yukine's death. It was a bitter wailing; helpless and despairing. In her arms he called upon his despair – metamorphosing into fury – to manifest in the form of windows shattering, the walls threatening to crumble around them both. And all the while, she knelt there placidly with her arms wrapped around his tormented self. At ease, she let him express his grief. It was better this way.

Eventually the tumult brought on by his outburst quieted; he returned her embrace in a clinging fashion, his eyes squeezed shut. It was quiet for some time. Pleased, Nora stroked at his hair. He was still emanating a feverish heat, and still, he was trembling. But… "You have fight in you yet, Yato. I expected no less from you, of course… We will head out now, alright? There is somewhere for you to recover. For now, that's enough. Is this fine with you?"

"Yeah…" She released him and stood, holding out her hand to help him to his feet. He took it distractedly. "…Thanks, Hiiro."

She looked at him curiously, tilting her head. "…Of course," she answered eventually, and she gave him support as she released her spiritual hold on the door, swinging open now to reveal the pale sky and the golden sun. "Let's go, shall we?"


	52. All I Have

Upon Rika's quiet request, her new caretakers left the residential area and headed into the city. "The sun is getting low in the sky," Konoha remarked softly as they walked the torn streets, ravaged by however many fights that had transpired in the city area. The six players made their way slowly. Shirou, much to his good-hearted frustration, was being carried by the android, as Kaneki thought it best that he use his broken leg as little as possible. Rin Tohsaka was being helped along by Hide in the meantime, who somehow managed to bring joy to the conversation between them all. Kaneki was, as per usual, not very talkative.

Rika had silently sent Hanyuu away to check the verdict of everyone else – where was Shintaro Kisaragi, and was he dead or alive? Where were Suzuya and Twelve? Had they made it? Had they not? Were Yato and A-ya in an alliance? What was Yukiteru up to? Was he alright – or at the very least, as alright as he could be?

While the goddess was off collecting information, Rika was humoring Hide and the others with her child persona.

"So why the city, eh, Rika?" asked the bright one.

"If I am right," she said, "I do think there is a hospital somewhere on these streets. If we go there…"

"No," said Kaneki suddenly, his tone harsher than he had intended. Some of the others looked at him in surprise, and he turned around, smiling warmly at Rika while touching his chin. "I'm sorry, Rika-chan, I didn't mean to snap like that… I'd just rather not go there."

"Oh? I'm sorry…"

"It's nothing; you shouldn't worry. It was a good suggestion, Rika-chan." He turned back to face forward. "It's just… there are no supplies in there anyway," he added, suddenly dismal.

"Ah, I did not know it was bare…"

"Yeesh," sighed Hide, rubbing at the back of his head. "Then, so… Rika-chan, do you come from the city yourself?" He was, of course, as friendly as ever.

"Oh, yeah…" Rin looked over at her. "Are you also from Tokyo? It seems that's a common origin."

"But I am not from Tokyo," Konoha remarked, lost. Not that it was a big difference to his typically lost self.

"Oh?" said Shirou.

"I am not from there either," Rika nodded.

"Then where are you guys from?" asked Rin.

"I am from Mekaku City," Konoha informed them.

"Sounds as though it were a pun," commented Kaneki, barely audible. Rin rolled her eyes.

"On the contrary," said Rika, "I am from a little village called Hinamizawa, that is so~ Really, I thought that the city would be better than the residence we had… My group stayed there for some time when I first transferred from the first game. Not the exact home, but nearby. It is a thought of mine that perhaps Yukiteru or A-ya would return for familiarity's sake… They are the only ones left in that group."

There was a moment of silence as the implications settled.

"Rika-chan," said Kaneki, "would it be alright with you if I were to ask you a question?"

Her pace slowed to a halt. Beyond everyone else's senses, Hanyuu returned to her bearing the news. "Let me think about it," she said simply to Kaneki, who tilted his head with a lopsided smile. Everyone else had stopped with her; they stood in an intersection untouched by automobiles.

"Of course," said the half-ghoul, and Hide laughed a bit.

Rika appeared to think hard on this, in actuality listening to the results of Hanyuu's scouting. Eventually, she looked at Kaneki, shrugged, and smiled. "I guess so, nii~"

"Hah…" He scratched at his cheek. "You were together with Yukiteru, isn't that right?"

"That better not be the question."

"Oh, no, it isn't…"

"Well, that answer's yes. But what's the _real_ question?"

"Well, Rika-chan…" He touched his chin, eyes flickering cautiously. "I wanted to know if perhaps… you knew anything about what Yukiteru was planning to do…"

"Really, that was unforgiveable," snipped Rin, and Hide nudged her gently. Shirou frowned, but said nothing.

Rika looked directly at her, and Rin was surprised to find how deep the pools of her eyes were. "Did you know that Shinichi would run in Yukiteru's direction when he heard his voice?"

"Wha—? I mean, I wasn't _surprised,_ but I…"

"I'm sorry." Rika closed her eyes, threading her fingers together tightly in front of her. "I do not know what Yukiteru intends to do. All that is certain is that he wishes to find A-ya. For what, I cannot tell. When last I was with him, it seemed as though he may want to join him rather than fight him. It is an understandable choice. I have been near Yukiteru since I came to this game. We had made the mistake of taking in the injured Yato and tending to his wounds. Unfortunately, he turned on us while we weren't there, and he killed the rest…" She paused, her fingers tightening around each other. She ignored Shirou's expression of appall, and Konoha's subsequent hushing. "One other is missing. Yukiteru suspected further betrayal. A-ya, who was very close to him, had already left him prior to that, and at present I can't say that Yukiteru is thinking rationally." Her gaze shifted from one crack in the asphalt to another. "I understand that he hurt all of you… and so, I apologize for that."

"You don't need to apologize _for_ the guy," Hide assured her, but she shook her head. "Look," he said, "you're a brave kid, jumping in front of me like you did. So thank you."

Kaneki nodded in agreement. "I'm happy to have you as a part of our group."

Hide rubbed at the back of his head. "There's gotta be _something_ left in that kid, else he wouldn't have stopped for you, Rika-chan."

"That is so," she conceded quietly.

"But, ah…" Hide looked around at everyone – at the embers Shirou was trying to hide, at the hollowness of Konoha, at the remorseful expression of Rin, at the fatigued eyes of Kaneki… "Maybe we should talk less about the fallen for now. We've all lost a lot of people, here, y'know? Better to focus on what we've got than what we've not," he beamed. "So…"

"Wait," said Rika lowly, and they looked at her with varying degrees of curiosity and confusion. "I want to give all of you as much as I can."

"Rika-chan," argued Shirou, "you don't have to go any farther than you already have."

"There's no need to dwell on your teammates for now – or even Yato, for that matter," Kaneki concurred. "Instead—"

"I intend to give you all I have," she said, and all was silent. The wind stopped. She spoke in the prophetic tone which haunted the elders of her town, and Kaneki couldn't help but wonder what tragedies she'd seen.

"But what does that _mean_ …?" asked Rin.

"For example," Rika began, her persona scrapped, "your teammate Shintaro Kisaragi is alive."

A new atmosphere was born. "How do you…?" Shirou didn't finish. Why should he have to? Suddenly everyone was listening with rapt attention.

"Shintaro is okay?" Konoha inquired in but a whisper.

"He is alive," she repeated, folding her hands in to fists, one clenched hand cupping the other. "At home… I have refrained from speaking like this… From showing myself in this way. I didn't want to scare my friends, but now, that seems to be inconsequential. I hope… that even if a child like me unnerves you, it will still be alright between all of us. I think it necessary to tell everything. I have been hiding things too long."

"Konoha," said Kaneki, "are we in the clear?"

"Huh…? Oh. Yes," said the android in return.

Rika nodded, appreciative. "Shintaro Kisaragi is alive," she said yet again, "and he is with Seidou Takizawa. I don't know what it is to be 'harrowed,'" – a permissible lie, there was no reason to baffle them with the idea of reset yet – "…but Shintaro was discussing with him the properties of such an effect just now."

" 'Just now,' like…?" Rin's eyes widened. "Is this magic you're using?"

"Maybe clairvoyance?" tried Hide.

But Rika was shaking her head. "Something like that," she said. "Of all of the people on the game field, there are only four groups left. Apparently, both Twelve and Suzuya have perished…" She paused, her gaze deadening. "Seidou Takizawa and Shintaro Kisaragi, they are one. There is A-ya. There is Yukiteru. And there is Yato, with Nora. We are all that are left. In regards to Yukiteru, it seems to me that he is revisiting the scene where our teammates died… I can't tell why. In regards to A-ya, he did not have an official alliance with Yato. Rather, he and Nora made some form of deal that may not stand for much longer, if any longer at all. I'd have to say that it was more of a temporary cease-fire than an alliance."

"That's all well and good, thank you," said Hide, "but like, how do you _know_ that stuff? Can I ask that? I can ask that, right?"

"My name is Rika Furude," Rika explained. "The Furude family, in my town, are the priests that care for the temple of Oyashiro-sama. It is said, in accordance to legend, that every so often there comes a generation that is the reincarnation of Oyashiro-sama. I have been told that this is myself." She looked at everyone meaningfully. "In this game, there are demons, and there are gods. I am neither – however, I am the vessel to the one my villagers still call Oyashiro-sama."

There was lengthy pause. It was Hide that spoke: "That's so _cool!_ Who knew – Kaneki, we've got a badass little kid in our group! How sweet is that? We're totally making it all the way!"

Kaneki was touching his chin. "I'm not sure that's how it works, Hide…"

"You kind of… feel like summer," Konoha commented. "You remind me of someone… but I forget."

"You forget a lot of stuff," sighed Rin.

"Am I that bad…?"

"In any case," Shirou came in, "that probably meant a lot to say. Thank you very much, Rika-chan."

"Of course." The little one smiled. "I hope that I may continue to aid you… This goddess, you see, she's very shy. She'll meet you sometime, I'm sure. Until then… I will give all I can – that is so."

Kaneki began to smile back, but faltered. In the city, things were already shadowed. The sky was beginning to darken. He took Rika by the wrist and pulled her back behind Konoha as he stepped forward. "I hear something," he explained at the confused and concerned looks he received.

"I thought you said we were clear, Konoha?" Rin snipped, and Konoha blinked.

"But we were clear," he said. "I understood just fine."

" _Obviously_ you didn't!" she cried. " _In_ the clear, Konoha, are we _in the clear._ That means are we _safe_ , you dunce!"

"Oh…"

"You're hopeless…"

"Hey," said Shirou to the android, "get me up on your shoulders. Can you?"

"Yes, I can do that," he said, and did so.

"Oi, stay back with me and Rin-chan," whispered Hide to Rika, who he guided to the space behind him and the snippy mage. Rin didn't argue with this.

But the person that emerged from a corner only a block away had their hands raised in the air, no weapon visible. As he drew closer, even further confusion arose. "It…" said Konoha slowly. "It's… Roppi…?" He began to tremble at such a wishful thought. Could it really be?

"No, Konoha," said Shirou lowly. "That… isn't Roppi."

"Then…?"

Although Konoha looked to Kaneki for help, Kaneki looked just as perplexed. "Though he looks like him, it isn't," the half-ghoul confirmed. "But I can't say… that we've ever come across him before. Hide, Rin, do you know him?"

"I've got nothing," said Rin, and Hide offered a, "Nah, sorry."

"Then everyone, stay here." And Kaneki walked towards the one approaching them, straightening his posture. "Be wary for any ambushes from behind, alright, Konoha?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

When Kaneki and Izaya met again, and they were close enough to converse, the Eskimo-like one slowly lowered his hands. Kaneki noticed that this person seemed to have a smile frozen on his mouth, even though his eyes were darker than perhaps even Roppi's had been, once upon a time. He looked jaded and tired; determined, but also as though he'd just clawed his way out of some form of Hell. Kaneki managed to catch the slight trembling of his hands before the stranger stuck them in his pockets.

"Hi there," greeted the stranger, and he spread the smile thinner so that it could better stretch over his plastered features. "I don't suppose you know who I am."

"You look like two people that I once knew," Kaneki answered, "but you are neither of them. You, I do not know."

"Ah, it was worth a try, anyway…"

"What do you want from us?" Very to-the-point.

"No need to be so blunt, Kane-kun," the man sneered, and Kaneki's eyes narrowed. He seemed to backpedal, thinking over his word choice and tonality. "My, my, how rude of me!" He tittered, and the half-ghoul frowned a bit. "Sorry, sorry—really, I am. Well. Introductions are due, right? It's a pleasure to meet you, Ken Kaneki. I'm Izaya Orihara."

"How do you know my name?" Kaneki asked him coolly, and Izaya's mouth twitched.

"A notebook, see. I have everyone's names in it as all. I know tons of stuff – I'm an information broker. Or I used to be, a little over a week ago."

"Have you been in this game from the beginning?"

"I have."

"You weren't introduced in the beginning, if I remember correctly. Why?"

He flinched. "I was."

"I don't recall."

At the redoubling ice in Kaneki's voice, Izaya ran a hand through his dark hair. "Jeez, so cold, Kane-kun… Is it fine to call you that? Kane-kun? Or is that wrong? Hoh, by the way, where's Roppi-san? I'm almost pleased he's not here to tell me off. But what about Shintaro-kun? Akira-san?"

"Akira and Roppi have perished." Kaneki maintained his cool impassivity. "Shintaro is not with us."

"Too bad, really…"

"You're running your mouth, but explaining nothing." Kaneki leaned in close, and Izaya noticed that one of his grey eyes was now glowing a soft red. "Don't think…" – his words were breathed to him, the utterance of a threat – "…that I will hesitate to hurt you. What will it be? Your floating ribs? Your eyeballs, or their lids? Your fingernails, or your fingers themselves?"

The sickening pop of Kaneki cracking his knuckle processed in Izaya's eardrums, and the informant closed his eyes. The half-ghoul's eyes only narrowed further when the human before him started laughing, if with a hitch. "Ripping off my fingernails is a nice start. You can take all of it and more. There isn't much of me to take." His laughter slowed, and his expression deadened. "Let's try this again." Izaya took a step back, creating space between the two of them as he freed his hands from his pockets. Now with the room to do so, he bowed undramatically. "I'm Izaya Orihara. I don't intend to fight any of you. If I were to try, it would be practically suicide. I'm after Yato – we have mutual interests, I assume? He's done me in, and I'd like to return the favor. However… it's not something I can just go and do by myself." He smiled ruefully at this.

"Is that so…" Kaneki considered this, touching his chin.

"I thought it best to go to you, Ken Kaneki. I'm not proposing that you have to accept me as a member of the little cluster you have going for you – I'm sure it's a stable group already – but I would like to work with you for the purposes of giving the Yato god what's coming to him. I don't expect anything beyond that."

The half-ghoul eyed him, trying to gauge sincerity. This man was certainly not in good shape. Indeed, even though Kaneki could identify the sword kept in its sheath, and even if he were to hide some kind of weapon in one of his pockets or in his pants, there wasn't much he could do against Kaneki, and certainly not against the whole of their group.

"You don't trust me," he remarked, and Kaneki remained silent. "Not that I blame you. I wouldn't trust me either." The half-ghoul said nothing, and Izaya's mouth twitched. "I have something in mind, too. I've got a plan, if you're willing to hear it. If you're willing to let me in." Kaneki watched Izaya grip at his opposite arm, covering his stomach. He noticed the stiffness of his shoulders, and the depraved look in his face. "If you don't, all I ask is that you don't kill me," Izaya added. "If it's too much of a burden on all of you, I won't trouble you. I'll figure out some other way, of course. I'd understand – you're allowed to be cruel like that in a death game." He flashed what could have been a smile, but looked more like a grimace. Perhaps in reflection of his sharp tongue. "Or you could say something. The sun is setting, you know. Maybe you could even let me join you." The albino merely looked at him without answer. Their gazes locked, and for a moment Kaneki wondered if perhaps he had known him, once. Quieter, he said, "You've done it before."

The note of desperation in his voice caught Kaneki's attention just a bit more. "Well, let's see," he said, touching his chin. _Like Psyche, he doesn't like the silence._ "I can't make the decision on my own, of course. Even if I'm the leader, it's not me you should be convincing. It's them. On that note…" Kaneki stepped towards him and wrapped an arm over the alleged informant's shoulders, gripping the shoulder furthest him firmly. "Let's introduce you to everyone, shall we?"

Izaya laughed, though it came out just slightly strained. Defusing the tenseness of Kaneki's wordless warning, Izaya wrapped his own arm around the half-ghoul's waist. "We can become _great_ friends, Kane-kun~ Is it alright to call you that, yet? Heh?"

"Don't hold your breath," Kaneki smiled sweetly, and began leading him to the others. "If the others don't see you as a threat, then we will accept you with caution. Then you can call me whatever you want."

"Sounds like a deal to me."

When Izaya was before everyone else, he greeted them all cheerily. Kaneki explained, "This is Izaya Orihara. He'd like to join us; what do we think?"

Rika's eyes flickered upon hearing the name, brow furrowing as she stayed behind the backs of Rin and Hide.

"I mean, does he seem to have ill will?" Shirou asked blankly.

"He seems fishy," Rin frowned.

" _I_ think we should give him a chance," said Hide. "Obviously he's connected to Roppi, and like, if we can help anybody out in this game, we should." Rin grunted in expression of her displeasure.

"Oh, Tohsaka-chan, lighten up," Shirou chuckled.

"There is no _lightening up_ ; this is a _battle royal_ ," she frowned.

"I think," said Konoha, "that I agree with Hide."

Nodding, the redhead contributed, "There's enough violence in this game. Let's unite; can't we?"

"Ideally," Izaya piped in, "the remain players should all unite into one entity. That is, of course, excluding the antagonists. If no one is fighting," he shrugged, freeing himself from Kaneki's grip, "there is no game."

"Exactly!" beamed Hide. "Oi, Rika-chan, what about you? This alright?"

She poked her head out from behind Hide and Rin, and Izaya's smile dropped.

"Oh, yeah, Rika-chan," said Shirou, "do _you_ know this guy? Maybe you've met him."

Kaneki could feel Izaya's apprehension. The half-ghoul was ready to act if anything were to go wrong. For now, he only touched his chin. The information broker and the ten-year-old only looked at one another for a moment before Rika looked away. "I do not," she said dismissively, and Izaya's mouth twitched.

" _Liar_ ," he uttered.

"Lies?" repeated Konoha, bemused.

"You remember me, don't you?" He took a step towards Rika, who looked at him without expression. Kaneki narrowed his eyes. "Of course you do."

"I've not met you before," she said simply. "I'm sorry, Mister."

A mirthless sneer twisted his mouth. "Don't lie to me—you know who I am, don't you?" A new tone had crept into his words, one that filled the others with alarm. " _Don't you?_ " Before he could grab her, Kaneki's kagune was wrapped tightly around his torso. Izaya was lifted off his feet and, gritting his teeth, he glared at the one holding him captive.

"I expect you not to hurt or threaten any of our members, if you intend to join us," Kaneki said lowly.

But Izaya began to laugh again, weak and edging towards hysterics. As the half-ghoul tightened his grip, Izaya grimaced, stopping only to cough out a spatter of blood whose color matched that of the kagune.

"Hey, isn't that a bit…?" began Shirou, but decided against protesting. Rika made no move to argue the action. The others either stared or averted their eyes as Izaya's thin, bitter smile spread over his face again.

"There was a guy," he said, his voice rasping. Kaneki loosened his grip just slightly. Izaya tried again. "…There was a guy, yeah, he was a funny guy. I got to see him fall apart, I got to see him scream. I got to see him nearly drown in the wake of his own mess – and it was—the funniest thing—I've ever seen—" So consumed was he with his mirth, he couldn't continue.

"What are you trying to tell us, Orihara-san?" Kaneki inquired coolly.

"The best part," Izaya said lowly, his hair falling into his eyes, "is that nobody knows who he is. Not even him." He chuckled hollowly. "Isn't that funny?" As Izaya gave in, Kaneki released him, setting him on the ground, where he crumpled to the pavement, holding his body as if trying to keep himself all put together. No one had anything to say.

"Sorry, everyone," said the half-ghoul with closed eyes. "Orihara-san, I can't have you lunging at people like that. Keep in mind that you are not only a suspicious character, but also a potential traitor. We don't know you well yet… so please tread carefully, if you value your life."

"Please…," said Izaya. "Call me Izaya."

"Izaya-san, then," he nodded. He offered a hand to the one kneeling on the asphalt, his kagune shriveling away into his back once more.

Izaya didn't look at his hand, let alone take it. "…Say…," he said, kneeling there with his head bowed. "…What I need… to get back at him… That is, Yato. I wonder, do any of you know… if the bodies from the female game are kept anywhere on the game field?"

Everyone looked at one another. What sort of request was that? Only Kaneki did not look up, his eyes overcast.

"That would be…" he said, helping Izaya to his feet anyway, much to the informant's begrudging surprise, "…the hospital."


	53. Truth

" _Welcome!_ "

Yato, limping with Nora close at his side, halted just in the entry gates to the shrine of a god he admittedly didn't know personally. "Hah, nice find…," he had said upon the sight of it, and Nora had only smiled.

The two looked up to find the static silhouette projected at the doors to the actual shrine building. It spread its arms, and they could make out a crescent of black forming a smile on the Voice's features. " _Yato and Nora,_ " they said, " _it's a pleasure to greet you here! Allow me to explain the properties of this building, as it has 'special effects.' All holy beings are released of limitations regarding healing and regeneration. For any unholy beings, however, these grounds have an adverse effect, and will drain them. Any wounds dealt by an unholy being will still retain all of its healing limitations, and will not heal any faster. That's all for now, so take care!_ "

After the silhouette had disappeared, Nora spoke, "Isn't that perfect, Yato? It's exactly what we need, and the demon's vessel can't intervene here…"

He only grunted, edging forward and prompting her to join him.

"Perhaps you should cleanse your wounds with holy water," suggested the spirit, but he only entered the building with her and parted from her half-embrace, making his way to an empty space on the floor. "After you recover enough, perhaps we should end Izaya Orihara as soon as we can. You will not rest easy until he is dead… You want revenge, and so I think that is a perfect place to start, don't you think?"

"For now," he said, "I'll sleep. That's what I want."

Tilting her head, she observed him as he lay there on the wooden flooring. "Alright," she said. "Surely it will be easier for you to rest here." Furling her legs beneath her, she knelt beside him, content with their closeness. "Goodnight, Yato."

* * *

Muse took a breath, allowing themselves to relax. They closed their eyes, smiling. "Oh, Durden, you're not supposed to interact with them… You know that."

"Nora was the one who talked to _me_ ," Durden shrugged, bringing a mug of hot coffee to his lips. "They'd have been led that way either way. Why nag me about it?" And with that, he took a sip.

"I have to thank you for that."

"My complications are the best complications," he said, and flashed a smile. "This is starting to get interesting. Only so many players left… We might see the end of this by tomorrow."

Muse didn't answer, walking placidly, silently, to their swivel chair in front of the control panels. The setting sun cast a glare in the windows surrounding them.

Durden cocked an eyebrow. "You _do_ know it's ending soon, Muse… Every story has an ending."

"And every 'end' has an 'and,'" Muse said abruptly.

The other sighed lightly, closing his eyes as he set his coffee down on a table and crossed his arms over his chest. "Could be that there's another reset," he conceded. "After all, A-ya's pretty damned determined. I can't blame him. He's an impressive kid. He kinda fucked up – but he's still impressive."

"Impressively fucked up?" asked Muse idly, toying with one of the levers.

"That too," he chuckled. "I'm just saying, don't get upset when it's all over."

"Of course not," they said. "I always knew that this was the one."

"Well," he said dismissively, stretching, "…whatever you say. _I'm_ actually pretty curious what the others are doing."

"Understandably so." Durden couldn't see it from there, but Muse had begun to grin. "Look at them, utilizing their agency. How cute."

Stories and stories below them, Greyson and Rainbow discussed things in hushed tones.

"There's no kind of loophole to cutting ties, is there?" uttered Rainbow.

"There's an exception to every rule, isn't there?" Greyson answered.

"An exception to him?"

"Or an exception for him?"

"Can we break the rules?"

"Not even us?"

"What about…"

"…the Harrowing Blade?"

Rainbow touched their chin, while Greyson crossed their arms. They both frowned at nothing. "Shintaro," said Rainbow, "is getting ridiculous. Can't we do something?"

"But him and Seidou…" Greyson twiddled their fingers. "I kind of—like them like that."

"You _would_ ," sighed Rainbow. "But something has to happen, or they're fucked!"

"That would be fun."

Rainbow gave Greyson a look. Greyson flashed Rainbow a smile.

When Rainbow didn't seem to appreciate the optimistic look, Greyson sighed. "Anyway," they said, "there's something more important than that."

"A-ya?"

" _Us_ , Rain. _Us._ " Greyson folded their hands together, eyes averted. "I'll call Aureus."

Rainbow shrugged. "Maybe he'll have _some_ idea…?"

"I like this – let's be productive. We can get something done…"

"Let's fuck more shit up while we're at it," Rainbow rolled their eyes. " _Fuuun_."

"Yeah, it is!" Greyson dialed Aureus on their cell, smiling. "You know it, too." And even though Rainbow agreed in a tone dipped in sarcasm, they began to laugh.

Underground, Aureus hung up the phone after a discussion with the two. "Oh, jeez…" He ran a hand through his short golden hair, looking at the ceiling. "I'm trying, guys… I'm trying…" He leaned back on his own swivel chair, pinching at the bridge of his crooked nose and letting himself fester for a bit. Eventually he looked at the curled-up figure of Seraph, hugging her knees to her chest with her face buried in her bony lap. "Hey…"

"I already know this is a bad end route," she said lowly. "It has to be. Seidou killed Roppi. Roppi is dead. A-ya killed Suzuya. Suzuya is dead…"

"I miss them too," Aureus began, but her head whipped up to face him.

" _You don't know them like I did._ "

He pushed back in his chair, rolling away from her with his palms facing her. "You're right. I'm sorry," he soothed. "I'm pissed about everything going wrong, myself… but we still got _some_ stuff under our control. I mean, I _really_ hate Izaya, but look how far you've got him…! He's, uh, not okay, but that's okay. If that makes sense. Just don't make him go _completely_ nuts."

She frowned deeply at him.

"Okay, maybe he's already there," he shrugged, and she huffed, bringing a hand to her forehead. "And at the very least, I'm still emblematic as ever in my influences…"

"It's Muse's fault this happened." Seraph's voice was hollow. "They know which ones I was closest to."

Tentatively, he said, "Like Suzuya… or Roppi?"

" _Muse is practically their KILLER!_ " she snapped, her voice breaking on the final word.

At the high-pitched high-volume answer, Aureus stared silently, then picked at one of his ears. "You should tone it down… just a little, when you're underground. It's even louder down here."

"It's because they know I helped Roppi save Seidou," she began with a hitch, her eyes wild. "It's because they know I was working with you. It's because I—"

"Nothing is your fault, Seraph—"

"THEN IT'S THEIRS," she shrieked. "They can die for all I care. They can die. I don't ever want to see Muse again. I don't." She covered her face and furled tighter into herself, and Aureus's gaze softened in his empathy.

"…Seraph…"

"It's not like you actually care either. You know what you've been like in other routes? You—you're like Konoha and Kuroha, it's so drastic. I hate it. How can you really be so nice? How can you care? How could I possibly believe you?"

"I know I don't," Aureus answered. He turned from her, gazing distantly into the broken screens that Roppi had shattered however many nights ago. "Maybe I'm not a nice guy at all."

She didn't answer. He thought that perhaps she was stifling tears.

"I don't know them like you did, huh…?" Aureus closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair as though the internal weight pressing on him had finally gotten him to show his fatigue. "I know that you can see into their pasts and all… that's obvious… But isn't it also true that you know where all of this started?"

She remained silent, but he sensed a new stillness about her.

"I can't remember the beginning… Neither can Greyson or Rainbow… I'm sure Muse knows, but that's a given. You… you're Depth, aren't you? So for you to be the past, then surely you know the origins of the game… and even, perhaps, the origins of all of us?"

She said nothing.

He quieted, his countenance shifting to one of gentle inquiry. A soft desire for truth. "Who are we, Seraph?"

Silence.

"What are we doing?"

Silence.

"…Why?"

Somehow, the dim lighting felt for the first time as if it weren't enough.

Apart from them, Rodd was adjusting his spectacles as he entered a darkened room. A phone screen shone, flickered, and was put out. "I bet you're wondering," he said, "why we're doing this. I bet you'd like to know the truth."

The person in the dark did not grant Rodd an answer.

The timekeeper pocketed his hands, expressionless. "That isn't to say that I'll tell you. Really, I'm just coming to check up on you. Leaving anybody in isolation for too long is unethical." Rodd's mouth upturned just slightly at the irony, if only for a moment. Pushing up the glasses on his face, Rodd turned back to the door, making the glass shine with the glare. "I've been sent on a mission, I'll have you know. I use the past tense, but I actually mean that I will be sent on one in the near future. I don't make sense sometimes. I take pride in this." He paused. "Anyway, nothing goes past Muse without them knowing. What I'm saying is… well, I guess you can figure it out yourself. You're pretty smart. You've got a front seat to the show, so kind it's of pointless if you end up losing that privilege." Rodd stuck one hand in his jacket pocket, using the other to pull his cap just a bit lower over his forehead. His spectacles were cast in shadow. "I guess it doesn't matter what you do, anyway. In the end…" – from his pocket he raised his pocket watch, ticking softly – "…nothing really matters at all. All things are just concepts, really. Don't think too hard on that, or you may come to doubt your own existence. I do that from time to time. But I think all of us do."

Rodd turned from the prisoner, repocketing his watch and holding the doorknob of the open portal with a pause that held something that could have been reverence. For what, the imprisoned couldn't tell for sure. "We're all more fragile than you think. You're the same. Everyone else, too. But actually… I have to admit…" Rodd paused, and the silence filled the spaces with an unidentifiable apprehension. "It's okay, because I like purple after all."

He closed the door behind him and locked it without further explanation.

* * *

Izaya was, after having accepted the condition of being watched ever so closely, admitted into Kaneki's group conglomerate. And after having considering carefully the implications of this decision, Kaneki slowly led them all to the area where the hospital was. They lodged themselves across the street, everyone but Kaneki taking pause to look at the hospital with its shattered second-story windows, and the torn asphalt around it, and the accent of deep red that was only just barely discernable after all the succeeding rain. But Kaneki ushered them all into the small bakery shop facing it, not a word in acknowledgment of the place.

"Aw, what a cute shop," grinned Hide.

"It's… nice," admitted Rin. "For resting."

Shirou smiled.

They got themselves comfortable in the seating area there, Kaneki going around with a gentle smile to check the wellness of everyone, particularly of Rika, Rin, and Shirou. Standing apart from everyone, out of place, was Izaya. He watched them all with a flickering gaze that suggested rapt attention, but his expression was lacking. Hide caught his eye and smiled at him, but Izaya only narrowed his eyes at him, visage otherwise unchanging. Sheepishly, Hide rubbed at the back of his head and laughed, only to be tapped on the shoulder by Konoha, who asked him a question about what a "panini" was.

Kaneki, after making sure all was well with the others, told everyone he would be showing Izaya what it was he wanted to see. He would leave the others here, and they would be back as soon as possible. "If you want to help yourself to the breads and pastries, go on ahead," Kaneki added mildly. "I won't be eating dinner with you anyhow. However, Konoha…" He looked at the perpetually hungry android with a scolding frown. "Please do leave some for Izaya-san."

Konoha blinked. "…Oh, alright. I would like to share with him, as well, I think." He turned his watermelon gaze to the informant, tilting his head. "I wonder… Do you like strawberries, too?"

Izaya quirked an eyebrow, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets. "Not particularly," he shrugged.

"Oh…" Konoha pondered this. "Sweets?"

"I find them distasteful, in fact," Izaya smiled thinly.

This saddened the android. "Ah… That was, him, of course. You're different. That's fine, though. We can become 'friends' too, maybe."

Izaya frowned.

Kaneki gestured to him, signaling it was time for him to show the other the hospital. Before they left, he and Hide looked at one another. Kaneki gave his childhood friend a small nod before he left with Izaya. There was a thick silence up until none but Konoha could hear their footfalls outside. "Okay, you guys aren't actually okay with this, are you?" asked Rin.

"What?" said Konoha. "Why not?"

"I think it's better to try and save everyone, Tohsaka-chan," said Shirou, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Don't forget this is _still_ a death game," she snipped.

"But _we're_ all allies, aren't we?"

"I do get a kinda bad feeling about him," said Hide, bringing his finger beneath his nose and making a somewhat sour face. "He smells like a poisonous person, but also not. I can't tell, and that's weird. Like, I can't even see if he's good or bad. Makes me nauseous."

"What, like you're that good at judging character," Rin rolled her eyes, and Hide snickered.

"You never know~"

"Still, I know we should be wary of him," admitted Shirou, and Konoha nodded.

"Careful," confirmed the android.

"Truly," Hide said soberly, "…I wanted to go with them. But I also know… that Kaneki won't want me to see whatever's in that hospital."

The other three in the conversation all looked at one another. "What exactly is up with that hospital?" Rin asked of Shirou, who shook his head.

"I know two people in his group died there…" said the redhead, "…and it was there that Seidou was first transformed to the state he's in now…"

"Is that so…" Pensively, Hide touched his chin.

It was as they spoke that Rika, sitting isolated just nearby, found her chance to converse quietly with Hanyuu. The lavender-haired goddess lowered her voice even though no one could hear her but the ten-year-old. "Is it really true that you don't remember Izaya, Rika…?"

"I really don't," she answered quietly, closing her eyes and cradling the still-shaken Kincho in her lap. Gently, she stroked his head. "Evidently, _you_ do…"

"B-but how _is_ that…?" Hanyuu wrung her wrists, eyes wavering. "Surely you remember Izaya Orihara from previous routes, don't you? Don't you?"

"I don't remember him ever being in this game…"

"How…?" Hanyuu floated closer to her supposed vessel, eyes wide. "What about in the forest—when Roy…?"

"I take it that Izaya was there?"

Hanyuu didn't know what to say. "…Well… yes."

"From what I recall, after the serpent demon felled Roy, I tried to end my life. It was A-ya who surfaced from his corrupted self and convinced me not to."

"It wasn't!" Hanyuu cried. "It was… It was…"

"Izaya, I presume?"

"Well… I…"

"You seem rather conflicted about this, Hanyuu… Is that so?"

Hanyuu shook her head vigorously. "I _hate_ Izaya Orihara!" She spread her arms. "But you _liked_ him. You did, even to the point where you asked me follow him after he split off—I mean, Rika, I thought it was strange that you didn't ask me to check on him, but I never imagined that—that… Uu… Uauauuu…!" she wailed. "Why did everyone forget him so suddenly? I don't understand!"

"But you remember him, Hanyuu," said Rika meaningfully. "Perhaps the game masters…? Or maybe… that other god, Yatogami?"

"I-Izaya did say he had a score to settle with that one…" Her eyes widened. "They do have a particular rivalry with one another… That's true… Uu… What did he _do…_?"

"More importantly," Rika said to her in undertones, "if you're the only one who knows who he is… then I have to ask you: can we trust him?"

She froze. "I…" Hanyuu looked to the door where the person in question had left with Kaneki. "I-I don't know. I really don't know…"

Rika sighed, then smiled, opening overcast eyes and creating rather eerie look of amusement. "At the very least, things are changing up. I could never have expected any of this. Are we closer to the ending, then…? Maybe, just maybe…" She brought a hand to her mouth, looking at the ground. "The piece that doesn't fit… could it be…?"

Hanyuu drew back with nothing to say.

"Hanyuu…"

She looked at the human child, frowning a small frown with her brow pinched.

"…Are you willing to reveal yourself to these people? I do trust them… and regardless, I think I'd like to tell them about the repetitiveness of this game in its entirety."

"You want to tell them about the other routes?"

"I'm tired of keeping secrets." And with that, Rika stood and walked towards the others, holding the armadillo in her arms and calling, "Hey, everybody~ May I intrude for a little bit? I have something to say, that is so~"

"Is it about Izaya?" asked Rin bitterly, and the child shook her head.

"Not so, but it is of much importance."

"Oi," said Hide with a smile, "wanna get up on this table here? Then we can all see you better, how's about it?"

"Why, sure…"

"Alright, guys, official group meeting going on right here!" called Hide to the other three as he lifted the ten-year-old and set her on a table. Kincho was set on the table too, where he scuffled around for a bit before settling himself at Rika's feet. "This is super-duper important everybody, so hush up! That means you, Rin-chan!"

"I wasn't saying anything!"

Rika had to giggle a bit, grateful to Hide for his eternal lightness. "Thank you, Hide." She looked at the four who were looking intently at her, not allowing their gazes to get to her. "In regards to Izaya Orihara, I don't know enough about him. He is a special case, and so I'd like to relay all of this to you four while he is with Kaneki. At some point, one of you can pass it along to him, but for now, we will be cautious of Izaya."

"Gotcha," nodded Hide.

"About this game in general, there's something I should tell all of you…" She looked at everyone, her eyes fading into something somewhat melancholy. "This isn't our first time doing all this. We have played this game before, again and again. Some of you more often than others… This game has been reset over and over, never reaching its end. I am one of only two players that I know of who remembers these previous timelines. Having said this, we have reached a point where I am repeatedly surprised by new outcomes. After seeing so many similar paths before, this is a very important development. This may well be the end route… and if it is, I want to be able to work together with as many others as possible who know exactly what it is we're fighting for.

"I am going to work under the presumption that 'this game does not exist,' meaning that if this game reaches its conclusion, we will all be able to return home to normality, be we alive or dead. With all of the toying around with time here, I can't imagine that they would disrupt the flow of time in each of our own realms just for a game."

Raising his hand, Hide gave an addition in answer to Konoha's confused look. "For example," said the bleached-blond boy, "it wouldn't make sense for 'Neki and I to be here as we are while Takizawa's years ahead. Especially when you say, Shirou, that Takizawa was fast-forwarded when you got here… because doesn't that mean he spent time here before that? And I don't know that he or I or Kaneki would develop entirely the same way after this game… And on _that_ token, that means we still have a life to go back to."

Rika nodded. "Just like that," she confirmed. "There are certain things that have not changed from route to route… and there are also things that are very fickle. Any new recruits aren't always the choices that were picked, but all original players are typically the same. Survivors of the female game shift, too, but the original player set does not change at all. The only problem with this… is that any player that isn't part of an original set is always fated to die."

There was a heavy pause.

"That means," she said lowly, "that yes… Hide has never made it out, nor has Rin or Shirou." She looked at Konoha. "I cannot tell whether you count or not, as you aren't always brought back unpossessed. As for your serpent counterpart, he always dies at least the first time. Whenever you return as you are, he pops up elsewhere… Who he takes as his vessel varies. For all of you, I cannot tell you that your deaths are written in stone, but I wanted to at least forewarn you of its probability… Maybe now you will be more likely to defy fate." They were all staring in utter silence. Rin swallowed. "My goal now is to find a conclusion to this game. I don't wish to repeat this any longer… And I'm coming to think that perhaps whoever makes it to the end, it is not of consequence… so long as the ending includes a shift back to normality.

"The possessed vessel, A-ya, wants to reset the game. He stands against us in that way… No doubt that it was the demon's idea. Yukiteru, the one that I was with when you found me, may now be heading towards the same end. If so, we need to oppose him…"

Seemingly from nowhere, Hanyuu appeared to them in a stance of hovering urgency. Everyone looked on her in awe. "Izaya, too! That's right! It could be, after all, that he's striving for reset!"

"Could he?" Rika asked blankly.

"A spirit?" remarked Shirou.

"A Heroic Spirit?" added Rin.

"Or, uh, that goddess she mentioned?" said Hide.

Oddly, Konoha tried, "Kido?" which none of them could make sense of.

"I am the goddess, Hanyuu," said the lavender-haired girl, horns at either side of her head. She clasped her hands firmly in front of herself. "It's a—pleasure to meet all of you. Please treat me well… But—Izaya Orihara, it is true… that he is part of the original player set. He has maintained his spot in every single route, but for some reason, everyone else has forgotten about him… L-let me clarify! Izaya was together in a group with A-ya, Suzuya, and Twelve. A-ya and Izaya got along disturbingly well… but anyway, it wasn't really—that he outright agreed with A-ya's proposal for reset. But Izaya's never really been on anyone's side, and even if at that time, he might have still been working towards the ultimate alliance… a lot seems to have happened, since then… I can't tell… what his motives are, now."

Rin crossed her arms over her chest. "This whole situation is _really_ …"

"Yeah, I know," said Shirou.

"I guess we'll just have to find out with this Izaya guy," said Hide, hand to his chin. "I've got this feeling… that we're gonna have a real ride ahead of us."


	54. Underneath

"Hah, so this is the hospital, is it?" Izaya asked, spreading his arms in feigned comfort as they entered the front doors. "You say the female players are kept here, too? Are they kept in hospital beds, or in the morgue?"

Kaneki sighed, and Izaya's smile spread. "This hospital is a definite hotspot." He crossed his arms, looking at the informant pointedly. "Not only are the female players here, but also an items pillar…"

"Oh? Where's that?"

"The second floor."

"At some point, might I take a look at that?"

Kaneki nodded and began to walk. Izaya followed. "I'd suppose that Hide's group may want to go, too."

"Certainly."

"Before I show you the morgue, can I ask you a few things?"

"Go right on ahead, Kane-kun. Can I ask a few things, too?" Kaneki him a sidelong glance, and he raised his hands. "Oh, fine, fine. I'll wait; I will."

"I don't suppose you knew anyone in the female game?" the half-ghoul asked, and Izaya shrugged.

"Only Celty Sturluson," he said with a thin grin. "And she won't be down there. Trust me."

"If I recall, she was from the same realm as Shizuo…"

Izaya seemed to flinch, and Kaneki glanced at him. Maybe it had been his imagination.

"Also, Izaya-san, I'd like to ask why you chose me to approach… Seeing as I don't know who you are… Is it because I have the greatest alliance in-game right now?"

"Oh, it's surely that… And unlike the contrary, I know who _you_ are."

"Tread carefully," Kaneki warned him, and Izaya laughed that off laugh.

"As if I don't know! I've got quite the experience with your monstrous nature…" Izaya shut his mouth. Ah, so much for treading carefully. Why prod at him?

"I see." Kaneki didn't express any displeasure at being called a monster. "Then you know that now that you and I are alone, I can kill you without hesitation."

"If you really want more blood on your hands," Izaya shrugged, and winced again.

"If you prove yourself rotten, it would be bloodshed that is just."

"So cold." Izaya tittered a bit. "But it wasn't the only reason that it was you who I approached, Kaneki-kun…"

"Oh?" Kaneki didn't sound convinced, nor impressed.

"The truth is, I've never tasted coffee as good as yours."

The half-ghoul looked back at him, but Izaya was looking intently at the tiles he trod on.

"I can't imagine why it was any better than the coffee shops I visit at home – in Shinjuku or Ikebukuro alike. It must have been made with utmost patience and care. I consider myself a patient person, but—" – here he released a melodramatic sigh – "…alas, the coffee I make, too, cannot match yours."

"So you've tasted my coffee, as well," Kaneki remarked.

"At the café, with you, Seidou, Shirazu, and Tsuki."

Kaneki's eyes flashed, but he did not look at him.

"Of course half of those people are dead, now. I'm impressed with how far Shirazu made it, really… Bumbling klutz that he was, you'd expect him to be gone sooner." He paused, bringing a hand to his mouth. _Oops. Harsh._ "Well, that's not what I mean, of course."

"Then what, precisely, did you mean?"

 _What_ did _I mean?_

"Watch your sharp tongue, or I'll rip it out of your bloody mouth."

Izaya laughed weakly at Kaneki's glare. "I'm just saying we should be grateful for the time we had him around, really! He—he died at—at the time that A-ya was playing hide-and-seek, isn't that so? Isn't it?"

His eyes narrowed. "That's right."

"Then that means that Twelve had been too late, after all…"

Kaneki turned to face him, suspicion written in all his nonverbal communication.

"I'd thought he would go after Shintaro, so I went after him instead," Izaya said, trying to smile slyly even though it looked like a pained grimace-grin. "The snake demon was connected to him, so I wanted make sure that shut-in didn't perish. That came with a due price, that's all." Kaneki's aura was surely chilling the air. "Well, actually… I don't know that I went after Shintaro at that time to save him, to be honest. It was kind of selfish, really. Why did I do that? I don't even know. Probably to use him for something, if I'm gonna come clean here. Maybe I didn't do anything at all, because apparently I wasn't involved—but _that_ means none of it was my fault, right?" And he erupted in strained laughter.

Kaneki's terrible gaze left him for now, and Izaya felt his mouth twitch. "I believe that you were involved with us, before. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not yet, but that being said, you must now find your place proper. Will you continue to dance with the devil, Izaya-san? Because should you misstep, you will end up in Hell."

"I don't care if I go to Hell," Izaya said flatly. "I'd rather go there and know that I once lived. I'd rather go there than be forgotten." A note of bitterness began to surface.

"Look, Izaya-san," said Kaneki, bringing a hand to Izaya's shoulder, gentle and firm all at once. "I may not remember you, but that does not change that your eyes are familiar to me. If you want a place in this group, you can still find it. You can earn our trust, but you need to deserve it. I'm sorry for this unfortunate circumstance you're in… but from here on out I'd like to work together with you. In order to do that, you need to keep that tongue in check."

"This isn't about fitting into your group anyhow," Izaya answered simply, pulling away from Kaneki's hand. "I just need to settle a score, and I can't do that alone. That's all. We have common interest, and that's all there is. We're just using one another as a means to the end we both desire. You can collect all the lost souls you want, Kaneki… but I like to think I don't have a soul." He sneered. "And I know that even if you come to loathe me, I wouldn't mind one bit. Because even if you hate me, you won't end me if you don't have to."

"Ah, Izaya-san," Kaneki answered with a gentleness Izaya didn't quite expect. "Though it is true that if you make a move to hurt someone from my group, I will swiftly send you to whatever afterlife you end up in… Ah, but you seem to know that much, right? Beyond that, you don't understand me at all. No matter what it is you do… I don't have the capacity to hate anyone. Even the ones who have hurt me most, I… still…" He paused. "Well. You wanted to see the female players, didn't you?" And Kaneki continued down the hall and to a door that clearly led to a stairwell leading down.

"I do," Izaya confirmed, dark. "Shall we, then, Kane-kun?" He could smell iron almost immediately upon entering the stairwell. _The morgue, then._

"Might I ask why you want to see the bodies?" asked Kaneki, but Izaya only shook his head silently as they approached the door, open just a crack. The half-ghoul opened the door, and both of them brought a hand to their faces at the pungent scent that came with it.

Izaya's eyes narrowed at the picture of massacre before him. The first sight he could make out was of an eyeless fourteen-year-old girl, her mouth agape in a noiseless scream. To the informant's distaste, she had no body, either. "How disgusting," he said, his mouth twisting. He looked back at Kaneki to see that his left eye had become red, its sclera ebony. Izaya barked a harsh, nervous laugh, and Kaneki closed his eyes.

"I apologize. I haven't eaten for some time."

"No, no, it is absolutely alright~" Izaya cried, approaching two girls that were oddly intact. "I don't suppose _you_ made this mess, Kane-kun!"

"No," Kaneki answered bluntly.

"Probably Seidou then, eh? Last I checked, he _was_ a messy eater."

"It is most likely the case."

"Yet look at this~ Wonder why he ignored these two, together." He paused between them, gazing at two warm-colored scarves covering cold necks. A nameplate was on the ground there between the tables, and he picked it up to examine. "'Ayano Tateyama,' huh? A human. From Shintaro-kun's realm, too… Oh, how interesting! It even says who killed them; how convenient~" He looked around, walking up to where their heads were and peering carefully into their still faces. He noted that Kaneki remained by the door, but only glanced at him before stepping around scattered bones and various body parts. His mouth downturned in deep distaste. Clicking his tongue, he removed the playfulness from his exterior and pulled Akise's notebook from his pocket, opening it to the pages that had the female names scribbled on it. Much like the information sheets of his own game, the notes had them categorized by group, with ages and three associative words beside each name. Tightening his jaw, Izaya could feel Kaneki's eyes on him. He felt his mouth twitch. Maybe he was trying to smile. He couldn't tell.

From his pocket, he pulled the stubby pencil he still had after all this, holding it to the page and marking Rika's name, and Nora's, and Maka's. Minene's. Celty's. He paused. To his disapproval, his strokes were wobbly, his hands unsteady. He could not quit his trembling. Doing his best to ignore this, he said to Kaneki, "Oi, I don't suppose you had any surviving female members join your group… When they first came here, that is."

"Three, in fact," Kaneki said coolly. Izaya could feel his scrutiny, and somehow this pleased him. "Two of them are lying in the Emergency Room upstairs. Why?"

"May I inquire their names?"

"…" Izaya looked to Kaneki's overcast face; he wasn't looking at the informant anymore. "Akira Mado," he said. "Saiko Yonebayashi." He paused, painfully. "…And also, Touka Kirishima."

Marking these names, Izaya nodded. "Thank you. Well then, now it'll be much easier to identify these bodies. If I'm right, these lovely ladies should be ordered by group… That means you're Ayano-chan, aren't you?" He looked at her unmoving face, her red scarf splayed about her like her dark brown locks. "Who were you? Particularly to Shintaro-kun…" She did not answer, of course, and so he pocketed his pencil and kept his hand there, his other holding the notebook open. "Forgive me, Ayano-chan, but you're not who I'm looking for. Maybe you can share your story some other time; I'd love to hear. Trust me." He scanned his page, devoid of expression. "Lucky, huh… You can only be Hiyori, can't you?" He looked the magenta-scarfed girl at his other side. "Thank you, Ayano-chan – you may well have saved her body. Being so similar in design and all. Come to think of it, Yato and Shintaro do have a weird interest in jerseys, too, don't they? Totally tacky. They have no sense of fashion." He leaned over Hiyori Iki's body, brushing her hair from her pale face. "Hiyori-chan, I've heard so much about you… How would you feel, I wonder, to see Yato now? More importantly, I'd like to know how much you mean to him…" Tilting her face to his own, he peered at her in the flickering light. "He won't listen to me, so maybe you can do the scolding, hm…?"

Darkening, he released her chin and roughly shoved the notebook into his pocket. "Rather strange, too – I don't see a single mark on you. How were you killed, I wonder?" Hands in his pockets, he began prodding at some of the mess with his feet, searching for another nameplate. "Not that it would really matter either way… Now I'm just curious. I don't suppose you could give me a hint?"

He heard buzzing, a thrum he hadn't noticed yet. Looking up at the flickering lights with narrowed eyes, he had to presume it was the flow of electricity making the noise. His mouth returned to the state of frowning. The dim atmosphere of the room swathed him, and he got the notion that the air was thicker than he first imagined. The smell clogged his throat, and he was reminded of the charred shell of a house he'd slept in the night before this. As motionless as the dead around him, Kaneki's presence left Izaya's realm of perception. There was only the dead, their hands warm and sticky. What a mess he was standing in. There was no way to get out of stepping in blood, here. "…Disgusting," he said again, and shuddered involuntarily.

He looked at Hiyori soberly, his eyes deadening. He imagined a smile on her face, with Yukine and Yato at her side. He tried to imagine what it would look like for them to be close, all together. He remembered what it looked like when it was Twelve and Suzuya and A-ya. He envisioned the one named Shinra, together with Celty, together with Shizuo.

 _Where am_ I _?_

Realizing what he was thinking of, he shook his head. He tasted iron, and the nausea that followed this he stifled with another shudder. He felt ill. When, after all, these red splatters would one day be all that was left of any and every one of them, including himself. And the smell, that smell, he couldn't stand its viscosity, and the way that surely all this stale blood was reminding his own body of how much it had lost because now his head was floating and the dizziness tugged him off of the floor and out of balance…

He thought he heard a female voice: "It's right there in front of you."

Izaya caught himself on the table, gripping it tightly with his injured hand and allowing the shooting pain to anchor him there. _If I really do go crazy, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself,_ he thought drily. But as his senses returned to sharp focus, his gaze settled on a nameplate cast away on the other side of the room, directly across from himself. _Right in front of me, huh? Hah. Funny._

"…Izaya-san." Kaneki's voice. Izaya's mouth twitched. He'd forgotten he was there. "Are you alright?" His voice was guarded, but allowed for concern.

Not answering, Izaya straightened himself and went to the fallen nameplate – that was it! He lifted it with his bloodstained hands, satisfaction plain on his face. "Hiyori Iki," he said. "Here it is. And to whatever force that let me find this token, thank you _very_ much." Even more thrilling was what he found on the back of it: that is, the truth of who had killed her.

 _Nora and B-ko_. He let out a low whistle. "That's just cruel. You're making this far too easy for me. Jeez! I can't say I'm surprised, but this is just precious."

"What's that, Izaya-san?" Kaneki asked drily, and Izaya set Hiyori's nameplate back at her feet, where it belonged.

"An ironic form of calamity," Izaya smiled thinly, returning to Kaneki's side.

"You're looking especially pale… perhaps we should head back to the others."

"I would like to know, Kane-kun, where the items pillar is…"

"Not now," said the half-ghoul, but Izaya only added, "Not to go there, no. I'd like its location. You know." A thin smile again. "In relation to this morgue."

"Why's that, Izaya-san?"

His expression darkened. Kaneki couldn't see his eyes, but a smile touched his lips – gently, now. Wry though it was, it was nowhere near as strained as the other expressions he'd made. "I know," he said, "what the game masters want from me. I'm going to do it…" It spread over his mouth, not twisting it, but curling it with just a slight edge of irony, or perhaps bitterness. "…But I'm going to do it my way."

Kaneki looked at him for some time, then sighed lightly, bringing his hand gently to Izaya's back. "Here," he said. "Let's return, and rest, first. That's better for all of us."

"Yes…," he agreed faintly. "Let's."


	55. Progression

"Ah…" There wasn't much waiting for Yukiteru at the house that held the bodies of Minene and Celty. Looked as though someone had stopped by and bled everywhere. Oh, and they'd picked up Celty's helmet and set it nicely on her stomach. Other than that, the only movement was the wafting mist of darkness filling the place. With how smoke-like it was, Yukki was surprised anyone could breathe.

Standing in the doorway, he became distinctly aware of the setting sun. Before long, it would be dark. He wondered whether it was Izaya that had stopped by. Then he wondered where Izaya was, right then. He wondered whether he was alright. He wondered if A-ya was alright.

The grip Yukiteru had on his cellphone tightened. _A-ya…_

He opened his cellphone again to see if that person had texted him, but there was nothing new. Frowning, he entered the shadowy air and stood inside the house, opening up the previous messages and reading through them again. "But… how do I know it's real…?" His lips thinned. He thought deeply. "…Muse," he uttered, scrolling through one message or another. "…And Rodd… Aureus, and Durden… Rainbow and Greyson… Seraph, huh…?" He closed the phone with a sigh.

"That makes seven. But there are eight that make it, huh? Why's that, I wonder? Who'll it be? A timekeeper, a symbol of symbolism… Bonds of the heart, and something like 'depth.' And then…" He paused. Bowed his head. Thought about what Izaya had to say to him. What A-ya had last said to him. What the messages said. And of the fact that Shinichi was dead because of him.

"…I… didn't mean to kill him, though," he said softly, not that anyone would acknowledge his voice. "So would it really be okay… to go to them…? If I were to apologize, would that… really be enough? But—A-ya…" He bit his lip. "I want to be with A-ya, more than that… Yet… Izaya-san… had a point, didn't he? What's best for A-ya, after all?"

He crouched there in the falling night, Celty's shadows cloaking him thickly like his own cloak did. "Hey… Minene… Celty, what should I do?" When only silence answered him, he buried his face in his knees. _If I really were to care about A-ya, then I'd help him somehow, right…? How do I do that? He's not so far gone that I'd have to—kill him, right? Surely not. Killing, surely, isn't what the answer is… right? If this game is fake?_

 _I'm so sorry… Shinichi._

He didn't notice the moon beginning to rise outside, or the passage of time that transpired. He'd been so certain of what he was doing, not too long ago. Izaya had shaken him from that, so now what was he supposed to do? "I don't… know what I want anymore," he murmured, and felt himself trembling. He imagined Minene telling him to quit crying and take some fucking responsibility for once, because really he was nothing but a wimp, and that hadn't changed at all, had it? This time, his eyes remained dry. _How do I take responsibility for this, anyway? What do I do? What am I supposed to_ do?

The sound of his phone jolted him back to the room he was in, swathed in black. It was darker than black in here. Yukki had never experienced this darkness. It was like fog, and when he tried to look at his screen, it was obscured by it. Flipping open the phone, he brought it closer to his face to see. Oddly, he felt cold.

"…Rodd, is…?" Yukiteru stared at the warning on the screen with wide blue eyes. "He's…?" Looking up, all he could see was more black. Sticking his phone in his cloak, he cautiously stood. His machine gun was at his side. He had the wall at his back. A sound permeated the stillness, and at first, Yukiteru thought it was footsteps. After a moment's listen, however, he came to realize that it was the sound of a ticking clock that he heard.

He thought to be frightened, then stopped. He was done with that. And so with a wave of his hand, he dispelled the shadows filling the house and cleared them to dissipate outside in the night. Moonlight cast silver onto the one facing Yukiteru, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Rodd smiled at him just slightly, and Yukki widened his stance. He had the same look to him, his dark skin lighter under the moon, somehow. He still wore the same green-and-white baseball cap.

"What do you want from me, Rodd?" he asked coolly. "Because I don't want what you have to give me."

"Who says you have a choice?" Rodd answered easily, staring blankly at him, his wide eyes glowing softly violet. "I'm on a mission."

"To do what? Fast forward me again?" He ran a hand through his hair, putting up a confident front. He wore a smirk on his mouth. "Don't you think this is cheating, Game Master Rodd? Just going and only sending _me_ forward?"

"The only transitions you will go through," said Rodd, "are psychological. It would be more of a matter of rules if it were that you would transition to a different physical state. For example," – he adjusted his glasses, and they reflected the moonlight – "…Seidou Takizawa was turned into a half-ghoul when he was thrust forward. He had a completely different set of physical capabilities. Touka Kirishima, over the period of time that she traversed, grew physically stronger and far more controlling of her abilities. You won't have any new set of abilities; I won't send you that far. I've told you – I'm good at what I do."

"If that's it, then why even bother?" Yukki sniffed, and Rodd blinked at him. _With such a deadpan reaction,_ he thought nervously, _it's hard to keep up an act…_

"I think that if you were to think on it, you could figure it out." Rodd shrugged, bowing his head just enough that his baseball cap shrouded his eyes. "You were going in one direction, but where are you going now?"

Yukiteru didn't answer, only narrowing his eyes. He swallowed.

"I know, you've come so far, and here I am about to turn it all around on you. I guess I should apologize in advance, because this time's gonna be a real kicker." Rodd smiled, just slightly. It was frightening.

And he was right. Yukiteru understood. _He wants to make me into an antagonist,_ he thought. Then he thought, _Is time really my enemy in such a way?_ "I won't do what you want me to," he said, but his voice didn't sound strong enough to his own ears.

"You couldn't have ever imagined having friends like Akise, Hinata, and Mao, either, right? Didn't you tell me something along the lines of, 'I'd never kill A-ya'? And yet… what was it you told Izaya, just earlier today? Didn't you insist that you could kill A-ya if you had to? Really…" He paused. "You couldn't know what the future holds." He lifted his pocket watch from his hoodie pocket. "But I do, Yukiteru." He began to step towards him. Yukiteru looked away from him just a moment to evaluate what he had at his disposal. What would happen if he tried to shoot him? Somehow he felt like that would be a bad idea—

When he looked back to Rodd, he was directly in front of him. Yukki tried to back up, but he was already against a wall. _Oh no._

"Was there anything in particular you wanted to say, first?" said Rodd. "That's a dramatic touch, isn't it?"

Yukiteru shook his head. "All I want is to be happy alongside A-ya. Is that so wrong? Are you really gonna keep messing this all up? Why?"

Rodd tilted his head. "Who said I was going to take away that possibility? Truly, you _could_ become 'happy alongside A-ya,' I'm sure. That's right."

"But I want—" he began to protest, but he was already swept off of his feet and into the future, the sky painted a beautiful blue.

Wasn't it wonderful? To have a group of friends that you cared for, and they cared in return? And even her, Yuno, that crazy stalker of a girl that still managed to love him, yeah, and they, too, could see the stars together, couldn't they? Wasn't that alright? But they didn't—

Yukiteru found himself waking confused, disoriented and tied to a dirty chair in a bare room, feeling bare himself in only his underclothes. And she was there, Yuno, smiling sweetly with a face that said that all of this was fine, it was alright to be this way even though it wasn't, this wasn't okay at all and he tried to protest, he did, but nothing could break him free and she wouldn't let him go and as days passed and then weeks and no one, nobody came to find him, what was there to do?

He discovered what it felt like to turn off. Shut down. Shut down. How long had that gone on? How long was he trapped there? Was this what she thought 'love' was?

It was his friends who woke him up – they came at last, after all that time, and they left all together and he finally, finally had the nerve to reject the one that so tormented him, but at what cost? Would it end here? Was that what he was tasked with experiencing?

But it kept going, and he followed the same cycle. How was it that he always returned to her, and she to him? He had no choice! He tried to get out of it, he did – his friends were his team now, yeah – _this_ was what Minene meant! As allies, they trained together, worked together, and she'd smile at him and encourage him in that disgruntled, roundabout way of hers… And his father, Yukki got to see his father again! Oh, so long since he'd seen his dad, and—

An ambulance gurney, flashing red lights, a bloodstained knife—no, no… Yukiteru, with trepidation running through him, attended his mother's funeral. How had it come to this? What do you mean, Dad killed Mom? _Make it stop; make it…!_

It couldn't get any worse, could it? Couldn't it? Dad, on his knees. Dad, collapsing dead on the ground with red all around his chest. Yukki felt the feeling of despair that sunk him, and the succeeding rage that prevailed. It was not fiery, but made of ice. Things sped up in clean-cut precision, visions too bright and too clear. And then, and then…

When Yukiteru returned to his senses, he was not trembling anymore. His face was wet, he must have cried sometime in the confusion. Rodd was gone. Yukiteru felt hollowed out and pleasantly cool. The night's temperature was kind. The moonlight shone just the same; he figured that next to no time had passed.

Outside of his perception, Rodd closed his eyes. His work was done for now. He'd picked out someone else's perception of time to be in – Kaneki's, because right now his world turned so slowly. Yukiteru wouldn't see him anymore.

He was jerked to the side, suddenly, and his eyes flashed open just in time to see Seraph's hand coming down and striking his face like lightning. Blinking, he brought a hand slowly to his cheek, looking at her in bemusement. Yes, he wasn't mistaken – there she was, Seraph, her violet hair so dark in the night, and her hands clenched at her sides, stance wide. Her thin shoulders were bunched in outrage, her teeth gritted.

"Why slap me now?" Rodd asked mildly. The scene around them had slowed. Yukiteru was still regaining a sense of things, leaning against the wall at the other side of the room. He wouldn't be able to see either of them; neither Rodd nor Seraph.

"What are you _doing?_ " she hissed, voice cracking at the last word. "Don't _touch_ Yukiteru. Don't _touch him_."

"I didn't touch him." He shrugged, and she shook her head.

"Doing this for Muse? You think she'll like you more if you listen to her every command? Huh?"

"Finally coming out of that hatch? Actually doing something?" Rodd adjusted his glasses, unconcerned. "I didn't really expect you to do much after Roppi died. He was the one you chose to approach, after all."

Her eyes narrowed.

"If you try to make things messy," he added with a slight smile, "I could break your legs again. I wonder if you remember that."

Seraph froze. She did not.

"You talk about Muse like you know them. Somehow, I feel like you've gotten them confused with someone else," he said coolly. "You're depth, aren't you? Surely you can help Yukiteru along, right?" Casually, Rodd brushed past her, heading for the door.

"But—"

He stopped walking. He was still smiling.

"…He might not… make the right choice," she said.

"…Ah…," said the player in the room.

They both looked over to Yukiteru, who had stirred at last from his thoughts. "So, my parents are dead, too," he said quietly, thoughtfully. He felt dimly, like his connections had been frayed. "And after that, I…" He trailed off.

Smiling lopsidedly at Seraph, Rodd gave a half-wave and began to leave. "Seraph, you and I don't have free will. Might as well enjoy what you're doing rather than reject it and grow to hate your existence. Don't tell me you've forgotten." And he left, leaving her alone with Yukiteru, who could not even begin to perceive her transparent self.

Slowly, the cohesion of Yukiteru's thoughts came together properly, and the situation he was in became clear. Yuno wasn't in the picture anymore. Minene and Celty were dead around him. Yato, a traitor, was who killed them both. Rika had left, Shinichi was dead. Izaya, whom he had met in passing, had nonchalantly helped him out before heading on his way to Kaneki's group. And A-ya, he was… he was…

Yukki realized his phone was flashing. He hadn't noticed, but he had a new message. He must not have heard the ring. He opened this.

[Are you alright?] it said.

Yukiteru merely closed the phone and stuck it in his cloak. Then he grabbed the machine gun and started for the door. Seraph watched him go.

* * *

Rainbow leaned in close to their screen, voice lowered into a hopeful whisper: "Go to him, my child. Go to A-ya."

"I, uh, don't think Yukiteru's on his way towards A-ya," said Greyson, scratching at their arm and quirking a silver eyebrow. "…To be honest."

"But he needs to," Rainbow insisted.

"Then get your ass out there and drag him."

"That sounds like a lot of work."

"Yeah, well," Greyson laughed with a note of exasperation, "it won't happen, otherwise, Rain!"

Rainbow was quiet, clutching tightly at their laptop. What a nice room they'd been given. How large, how pretty. All of which they could call their own. "Maybe we should…"

"Um," said Greyson, tapping at their watch. "I think it might be time to, uh, feed your new pet. We didn't give 'im dinner."

"My new pet," Rainbow scoffed. "Hah!" Setting their laptop to the side, they got up off of their couch, which Greyson was sitting leisurely upon at the other end. "No, not a pet."

"I wouldn't mind calling him that," shrugged Grey.

"Yeah, well—anyway." They pulled a plastic cup from a cupboard and put water in it from the sink. They then shoved it into their very own microwave. "He's getting ramen."

"Sounds good to me. It's food."

"I'm giving him our last one, so he'd better like it…"

"Oh, he will… Besides, we won't run outta food or anything."

"Yeah, yeah."

A quiet settled over the both of them.

"I might go out," said Rainbow eventually, and the microwave beeped at them. Greyson blinked in surprise. "But would you come with me?"

"Now? At night?"

"Tomorrow."

"…Go on and feed him."

"Grey."

"Maybe," said Greyson. "Sure. We'll do that."

"Okay," said Rainbow, relieved, and left the room to give the captive their dinner.

* * *

He could feel it. His existence, thrumming in and out. Seidou couldn't tell whether he was yet transparent, or if he was solid after all. All he could conjecture was that his bones, like a steel frame, were holding him up, holding him together and assuring him of his reality.

He and Shintaro sat in silence. They'd taken up residence in one of the houses along the dirt road and the harrowed one had at least been somewhat helpful, reciting what had happened to Light Yagami when he was harrowed, and how he went through different phases in the same way. "The 'worst' of someone is rather subjective, and depending on the situation, it can shift," he'd said. As an afterthought, he added, "Light didn't make it. That might be my bad."

At which Seidou sighed heavily and ran a hand through his white locks. From there, there hadn't been much to say, and now they sat with the sun setting and the moon rising, neither mobile nor talkative. What was there to do? What was there to say?

A cannibalistic maniac named Seidou Takizawa, who had once been leader of Group 2, had kidnapped Shintaro Kisaragi, a former teammate. Seidou didn't care for anyone else's well-being, of course, and now Shintaro was harrowed by a god-forsaken blade that drew out the worst in that dastardly shut-in. Apparently the only thing that could purify him was bonds of the heart, or something cheesy like that.

To put it simply, the situation that they were both in sucked. Shintaro was screwed, and Seidou…

The half-ghoul, who had been perched casually, immobile, on one of the dining room chairs while staring to his bored-looking hostage, lowered his head to his knees, jaw tightening. Shintaro hadn't moved from his position, his elbows on his knees and his head bowed low. Seidou heard him utter an offhanded, "Maybe they really won't come looking after all. Ha, ha…"

Seidou dimly remembered how it felt for a voice to tell him, _"Takizawa, you understand, don't you? No one will come to save you. There's no point screaming. No one hears you. No one cares."_ Ah, so smoothly that doctor spoke. So painfully believable.

Ah, and he sure was a dick.

But anyway.

Slowly, he peered over his knees with his one good eye. Oh, that was right, wasn't it? Shintaro had stabbed him in his ghoul eye. His senses continued their cycle. There was someone in a red jersey sitting over there, a nuisance that was his hostage. His face was blurry, he didn't mean anything anymore. Seidou couldn't afford for him to. Indeed, Seidou couldn't even feel himself.

Then it would be vivid, and it would be Shintaro over there, looking at the ground with eyes so profoundly lost. And Seidou, he was distinctly aware of his own body, his frame and from where he bled and how much it didn't hurt…

Seidou's pale, thin fingers clutched tighter at his cloak as he raised his head. He could see that other him, again, fading in and out like he was. The Seidou of the past, the picture of fatigue, he sat there next to Shintaro in the same position, with his elbows on his knees. The difference was that the apparition looked at the harrowed one with eyes that Seidou knew would be filled with concern. His shoulders collapsed as he slumped.

" _What can I do?"_ the apparition asked nobody.

 _There's nothing I can do,_ thought Seidou.

" _Even if I tried, it would amount to nothing, wouldn't it?"_

 _You're dead, anyway._ Seidou closed his eye, perhaps in shame. _And me, well…_

When he peeked at Shintaro again, the apparition of himself was looking at him. He felt a tremor through him at those brown eyes he once recognized in a mirror as his own. _"None of it matters. Really, nothing's changed at all, has it…?"_

 _What's that,_ he thought, _because even now…_

"I'm just not enough," they said, and Shintaro looked over to Seidou with that deadened face of his. Seidou did not look at him, his hair shrouding his gaze as he stood up.

"…What was that?" asked Shintaro, and Seidou didn't answer. "I didn't hear you," he frowned. "I might be going deaf from all your screeching."

Seidou picked up the machine gun, subdued. Turning the knob, he swung the front door outward. It was dark outside, now.

"Are we heading out?" Shintaro tried again, dull, only to be wordlessly scooped up in Seidou's arms. "Oi—where are we going, can you at least say that?"

"I'm taking you back." Seidou's voice rang hollow.

"Back? To what, Kaneki's group? I thought you wanted to avoid them like the plague?"

"Don't you go gettin' the wrong idea…" Seidou frowned deeply, and Shintaro felt his arms tensing beneath him. "It's not like I wanna go back to them all. I hate 'em. You know that."

"Right, of course," Shintaro answered flatly. Seidou was already walking out the door with him in his arms.

"I ain't doin' this for you, either, you brat," he added.

"Okay."

"But I already know…" Seidou closed his eye. "That I'm not the person you should be with right now. That group…" He paused. "It has that stupid android in it, doesn't it? You're close to him, right? And even if that doesn't work, then surely, Kaneki might…? Or even—Shirou Emiya, I don't know… I—already fucked up with Roppi, so—at the very least…"

"…I don't want to be around other people," Shintaro said lowly. "I don't want to be around anyone at all."

Seidou stopped walking so briskly just to look down and glower at him. "Little shit."

Shintaro's grey gaze was unwavering. "At least I'm honest."

" _I'm taking you there,_ " Seidou said firmly.

"Why?"

"It doesn't MATTER, _does it?_ Just that it happens—because—because…!" Beginning to fester, he pushed off of the ground and jumped to a rooftop, speeding up the pace and beginning to run. " **Whatever happened to Shirazu?** " he uttered, and Shintaro blinked slowly. Seidou did not want to think of the orange-haired fellow in two different lights – tasty snack versus teammate of circumstance. He didn't want to think of the fact that it was him who put his hand on Seidou's back that night before the big fight in this game; the one who told him that maybe, just maybe, he should have a talk with Shintaro because it was the right thing to do. He didn't want to hear his voice anymore, because then he'd have to remember that Shirazu was one of the many that hadn't made it.

" **Mado… Akira—is already, dead.** " His words were broken. He didn't want to think of her face in association with the word 'gentle.' He didn't want to think of the color of her eyes, or how they ran with the rain. He didn't want to think about how after everything she had really, truly tried to save him, only to die, right there in his arms.

" **I—Roppi, is also…** " He couldn't even remember much of the things he tried to say. Where had his words gone? Were they for nothing? Why had he died? For what? Seidou couldn't even remember having ended him. He only knew it was fact, and for that, oh, what had he _done_?

Shintaro could not make out Seidou's face, but he could see the liquid running down his cheeks, tainted red. The harrowed one did not wish to think on these people either. Shintaro could not think of Shirazu and him finding connections through their silences, so soon before the orange one had died. He could not think of the way he'd come to the realization that Akira was _just like him_ , but so much more admirable. He could not think of Roppi, period, but in fleeting images of bitterness. It was blockaded from his prefrontal cortex. His memories were filled with static.

Furthermore, he could not look into the face of Seidou. He did not want to. The idea brought a tightness to his chest that threatened to asphyxiate him.

" _ **I'm not made… to b**_ _e a hero,_ " said Seidou. " _You were wrong… to ever think so._ "

Shintaro felt something pierce him, like a blade, perhaps? Or a branding iron to his torso, reaching inside of him and marking him with regret.

"I can't even take responsibility for my own shit," said the half-ghoul that held him. "And that's what's gotten you here. Hurting or not, you were becoming a new person. To change you back to something like _this_ , that's murder. It's—different than… than those other people… whose faces, I can't even recall. I can't—even tell you… what my mother looked like, anymore. And that's why…"

Shintaro closed his eyes. He didn't want to look. His veins were buzzing with something hot. He became aware of the air beneath him, and gripped onto Seidou's cloak. "…Oi…"

" _I'm taking you back, damn it!_ " Seidou snapped. "This is RIDICULOUS, and if you _seriously_ protest after _all that,_ I'LL FUCKING SLAP YOU."

"No…"

"I don't give a shit _what_ you say… Let me just do this _one thing_."

"No, that's not it, though," Shintaro tried again.

"What?" he asked bitterly. "What is it?"

"I'm trying to tell you—to quit crying."

" _What?_ I'm, not—"

"Y-you'll make me cry, too."

Seidou halted in his tracks, and Shintaro choked out an _eh—_ at the sudden stop. The half-ghoul looked down at him, and Shintaro stared back up at him with wide, frantic eyes. "…Uh," said the shut-in. He shuddered, then tried to smile. "I-it's okay, Seidou. I still believe in you."

"What the fuck," said Seidou. He squinted at him with his single eye. "You can't be _serious…_ "

"About… what now?" Shintaro paused. Seidou continued peering at him, daring to wonder what was going through his head. "…Oh my god."

"What is it." Seidou spoke quickly and shortly.

"Oh my _god,_ I—I stabbed you in the _eye_!" He began to squirm. "Ohhh, that's so _bad_ , oh jeez, did I really _do_ that? W-wait—whoa—" He clutched tighter to his captor, suddenly panicked. "W-wait a minute, we're pretty high up, aren't we? When did we—how long have I— _ohhhh nooo_ …!"

"You're an asshole."

"Huh?" Shintaro looked nervously at Seidou, but the half-ghoul's brow was furrowed deeply, a pained smile touching his mouth. The red-jerseyed one was scrambled in thought, disoriented and shaken. He was worried to find that his memories since being taken away were blurred and patchy. That never happened to him.

But seeing Seidou smile again like that for the first time, it really looked like it was still the Seidou he knew. And so he smiled weakly in return, mumbling something like, "Thank you."

"For what?" sniffed Seidou, looking away with a visage now of stubborn irritation. "I didn't do anything. I—was just sick of how you were acting. I wasn't worried."

"…Was I that bad?" asked Shintaro blankly.

"Oh, for fuck's sake…," he said, and – much to Shintaro's nervous disapproval – began to move forward once again.


	56. Spirits Move

The unified cluster settled for the night, not necessarily retiring but resting all the same. Shirou offered to make some food, and such an idea was received heartily – by Konoha especially.

Rika, who had gone through quite a lot that day, politely asked if she could go lay down for a little bit while dinner was being prepared. "Good idea, Rika-chan," chirped Hide. "If you need it, you can just go to bed for the night, you know."

"I don't intend to," she said with a little smile.

"Well, don't you worry anyway," the bright one beamed. "I'll make sure the others keep it down."

"You're the loudest one here," Rin pointed out irritably, and Hide laughed.

"Oh, I guess that's right~"

Rika glanced over at Izaya Orihara, but he refused to catch her gaze.

And so, with Kincho held close, Rika went up to the second story where all the bedrooms were, settling herself in the smallest one she could find. She lay there for some time, staring at the ceiling without expression, keeping one hand on the armadillo curled up beside her.

"I'm sorry, Kincho, for all the misfortune," Rika said quietly, and the armadillo raised its head. She petted his forehead, and he nuzzled her hand before curling up again. Rika sighed, and closed her eyes. Hanyuu was quiet. She had nothing to say. Even if she were to ask, "What will we do?" she knew that Rika wouldn't have an answer yet.

And was there even an answer to give? For now, it sounded as though it was a time for merrymaking downstairs. Perhaps they would all go over Izaya Orihara's proposal after supper. Rika wanted to be there for it, in any case. She wanted to know exactly what he was plotting. Then maybe she could see whether it was an idea for better or for worse. The fact that she couldn't remember his existence disturbed her. To think, the work of a god would…

Rika heard the familiar sound of a water droplet falling into a well, and felt Hanyuu go rigid nearby. The ten-year-old opened her eyes calmly, and sat up. Waiting for her at the edge of the bed, sitting placidly with her head tilted slightly to the side, was Nora, smiling gently.

"…Nora," Hanyuu said stiffly. But she remained outside of Nora's perception, choosing not to be seen.

"It sure has been awhile, Rika-chan," Nora said sweetly, and Rika agreed.

"That is so."

"How have you been?"

"I doubt you've come to me as a former teammate," Rika responded coolly. Slowly, Kincho backed away from Nora to hide behind the younger.

"So it seems that you're at last showing your true colors, hm…?" Nora seemed pleased.

"As you have, yourself," she answered in kind. "That being said, I hope you don't expect to be warmly welcomed by me. I apologize for this."

"Oh?"

"You told us you had a hand in Maka's death. And for what? We three were all in the same group."

Nora brought a sleeve to her mouth. "It would be inconvenient for me to belong to more than one person in-game, at that time. That's all."

"That ended her life. Does that mean nothing?"

"Correct." Nora's eyes narrowed as she smiled again behind her sleeve. "A deed of that sort is child's play."

"It matters not how easy it is," Rika frowned, "but whether your time together held any meaning to you. What of the nights we spent together, the night watches you spent at her side? Do you not remember being wielded by her hand, or calling _her_ Master? Do you remember the others, Minene and Rena and Minatsuki and Tamura?"

"I'm happy to say I do remember them." Nora giggled. "And I also remember how it felt to be the tool used to kill Maka and Minene both. The true color of blood is the prettiest red…"

Rika's eyes narrowed just slightly. "I now understand the fondness Tamura had for you. The parasite did tell you that you were alike, did she not?"

Discontent flickered in Nora's eyes, but then she closed her lids. "I prefer not to be compared to a parasite, thank you."

"Because of you, Roy is dead. A-ya was possessed in the battle that you wrought with Yatogami, on top of that. You ended L, and Celty, and Minene… and likely others beyond that. In Minene and Celty's deaths, Yukiteru now also may be on the path of destruction. Your sins only continue. You are not pure."

"If I were to sin," Nora's tone dropped frighteningly low, "Yato would feel it in the form of a blight. I have not sinned. This is, better."

"Child of Man," Hanyuu cut in, revealing herself, "yours and my definition of sin do not align."

"Ah, so you've chosen to show yourself, Hanyuu." The spirit was suddenly placid sugar and silk once again. She raised her palms to the ceiling. "Of course your definition and mine to not match. Gods cannot sin, can they?"

"They—cannot," Hanyuu said uncertainly.

"That's right, only humans can."

"…Yes…"

"So it's humans, then, that teach gods what 'sin' is. It's humans that show deities the difference between right and wrong."

Hanyuu frowned deeply.

"I'm Yato's guidepost… That is all. If I blight him, he and I know I have done wrong. But I never blight Yato. I never have, in all of our time being together. All these years… Centuries." She smiled. "Rika, although not a spirit, is like your guidepost," Nora explained, touching the tips of her index fingers together. "What Rika-chan finds to be just or unjust determines your own morality."

"Not so," Hanyuu argued. "Though she is my vessel, we differ on quite a lot."

Nora only shrugged. "Different realms, different rules. Just as Maka was able to use me as her scythe, or how the snake demon exists at all."

"Nora," Rika cut in, and the spirit's eyes flickered. "What is it you've come here for?" Nora frowned, just a bit. "I can only presume that you came for something. If it is another one of your traps, I will see to it that you leave."

"I know that Yatogami is surely severely wounded by now," Hanyuu added. "Especially judging by how this group speaks of their last encounter with him. He is unwell. If you are here with treacherous intent, I will _not_ take you as my own tool. I wish not for you to call me 'master.'"

Sleeve to her mouth, Nora shook her head. "I am pleased to be Yato's Shinki. I will stay his Shinki. After all, we are finally together again… And besides, you wouldn't be a very fun master. You hate violence."

"Then clarify your intent immediately," Rika said firmly.

"Well…," said Nora. "…Your group tended to Yato's wounds when I left him for that purpose. You, along with the others…" She paused. "You have spent leisurely time with him. You have nursed him back to health. You've known him as the god of calamity that he is, as well as who he is in… milder circumstances."

"He also betrayed us this time." Nora did not know what she meant by 'this time.' "He still killed Minene and Celty, not to mention whatever happened to the missing Akise."

Nora skimmed over the mention of the silver-haired boy. "I know," she said. "I am fully aware. The truth is, I don't like you very much…"

Rika's eyes narrowed at such a statement. Where was this going? Was she going to kill her? The thought struck urgency through her, and she felt for the knife at her side – though she had left her original blade in the carnage of the forest, leaving it behind like she left Yukiteru behind, she had been sure to grab a kitchen knife as soon as she was able to. Her fingers curled around the handle. There it was. Safe. She watched as Nora wrapped her arms around her own chest. She looked smaller, now. Younger. Rika thought of the fact that this was a spirit that had died at this age – how old was she when her life ended? Fourteen? _It would be only four years beyond me, then._ Her eyes narrowed as she contemplated how contentedly Nora slaughtered people.

Rika looked at Hanyuu, and the two of them nodded at one another. Gripping the knife with one hand and cradling Kincho with the other arm, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got up, looking to the other without much expression. "If that's all you have to say, then leave us all be." Hanyuu hovered nearby, eyeing the spirit in case she made any sudden moves. "I intend to find the happy ending to this story." And she turned away.

"Rika," said the spirit, and Rika felt Nora's hand suddenly at her wrist. Rika's grip tightened on the hilt of her blade; she stiffened. Hanyuu almost separated them, but hesitated, levitating above them. The ten-year-old quickly turned on her, but Rika was surprised to see vulnerable desperation in the Shinki's expression. Truly, it was made her look as young as she was as she hunched forward and shrank, shriveling even as she stared into Rika with wide eyes.

"Help me."

Rika could do no more than stare at her. This, too, had not yet happened in previous routes.

"This game is scary," she said. "It's terrible, and the masters are cruel. Father isn't here, and I don't know what to do… Yato could die. I don't want him to. I don't want him to disappear. He can't. But I don't think I can take care of him on my own… If I don't do something now, he really might—and I can't even think of what would happen then. I can't."

Rika loosened her shoulders, watching in awe and distant sympathy. Her eyes softened.

"Surely you understand it well enough not to want him to perish. Don't you?" Nora's visage was no longer eerie but painfully human. "How can Yato's death be included in a happy ending? It can't; it won't. So please… Just, don't let your friends kill him."

They looked at one another for some time. The quiet was heavy; there were words between them not spoken but felt. Rika recalled the recurring proclamation of Maka: _"I don't care how different we all are; we're in this_ together. _"_ She wondered whether Nora remembered when Maka took a blow for the spirit's sake when they were ambushed unexpectedly by the Wretched Egg, in Celty's group. How did Nora feel about that?

Gently, Rika pulled her wrist away from Nora's hand, cold to the touch. Her burgundy eyes were sharp with insistence, but also filled with something that Rika recognized as an assumption that she would get her way. Sadly, Rika sighed.

"Nora," she said softly, "how could I justify sparing the life of a deity that has chosen to bring destruction? You wish for him to be in the happy ending, and yet you continue to take others' lives before the end. If I were try and bring the others to spare him, would you, then, spare every one of us? I'd have to suppose not. You lie all the time. What I'm witnessing is not pure worry but hypocrisy, and I must sadly treat it as such. I will leave the others to decide whether they wish to spare him or not. I will not push them one way or another – that is all I will do for you.

"Whatever his end may be – or may not be – will be due punishment. There will be recompense for your crimes, whether it be called 'sin' or otherwise. You are nothing but a catalyst for calamity, yourself. And so you shall be duly judged. We shall see exactly what the happy ending entails. And if I were to be very clear with you, Nora, the way things are now… _you_ would not be a part of it."

Rika left Nora standing there, Hanyuu hanging behind and watching her for a bit. The goddess bowed apologetically before she followed her vessel, closing the door behind them both. Alone, the spirit stared blankly after them with something akin to shock. Then she folded her fingers together, bowing her head. Wordlessly, she disappeared again.

* * *

When Yato first came to, he was dimly aware of someone's presence at his back. Slowly, sensation returned, and his whole body throbbed in tune to his heart. He thought perhaps that he may not go back to sleep after all. Though his head was still foggy, he figured that his thoughts were no longer bogged by feverish heat. A coolness settled; the shrine had done him good. Gradually, his senses sharpened. His eyes opened, just a crack. It was still dark, the moonlight casting enough light to show him the outlines of the wooden flooring.

But as he returned to himself, he realized that it was not Nora that he sensed at his back. Who was it? He refrained from tensing for fear of alerting his intruder that he was awake.

"It's better that you pretend to be asleep, Yato," they said.

The god felt his chest straining. Not only for being called out so casually, but for the voice that broke the silence: Yukiteru.

"Because," said the fourteen-year-old, "if you were to show you were awake, I might decide to kill you after all." He paused. Yato remained silent. "…I thought so," said Yukki.

The floor creaked as the younger leaned back on the palms of his hands.

"I wonder where that Nora girl is," Yukki commented thoughtfully.

Yato imagined him looking out to the sky outside. Maybe to the moon. Maybe to the stars. He imagined the silver reflecting off of his face like it did the night Yato granted his wish: 'May your fates be verily intertwined!' Well.

Yato wondered if Yukiteru had ever been afraid of the dark.

…He missed Yukine.

"I guess it's better this way," Yukiteru continued. "I wanted to be able to see you again. You left without warning, you know. Why did you kill Minene and Celty?"

Yato could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. His head hurt.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad anymore. It's a death game, you know, so people are bound to die. Right? Twelve was right, after all… Eventually you don't feel it anymore." He paused. "It's like that when you kill people too, isn't it? Eventually not feeling it anymore? Don't answer that."

Yato didn't.

"…I've made a decision, Yato. I'd tell Rika, but she's gone now. Not dead, just in another group. I can't tell A-ya, as much I want to. I know I need to wait just a little bit longer to see him again. But I want to tell someone that I can feel in front of me. Making a statement to whoever is watching me through their screens isn't as satisfying, and even if I know they're there, I'd still feel like I'm talking to myself. So… I'm talking to you, Yato. Because you're a teammate, right? Traitor or not.

"I'll be honest, I did kind of want to kill you at first. I was all mixed up inside; I didn't know what to do. If I had been able to do exactly what I wanted right then, I probably would have joined A-ya and killed you together with him. Not that that doesn't sound appealing right now. Just being clear. I figure it's okay to talk about wanting to kill you when you killed Minene and Celty. You probably tried to kill Akise, too. If I hurt your feelings anyway, well, you should know better. I'm not all that sorry.

"And anyway, I'm not actually _mad_ at you now. I forgive you. After all, A-ya even said he wanted to kill Akise or anyone else with me if it meant me understanding his side. And I can't be mad at A-ya even if I wanted to. I can't even tell if he's really doing anything for me like he says… or whether he's just crazy, at this point. Probably both. That might be problematic, but at this point, I could care less.

"As for you, why did you kill who you did? You want the game to end; you're just angry about what's happened so far. Maybe it's something else entirely. But it's not like you did it without a reason. I get it. And how could I really blame you, when I almost went there too? In the confusion, I killed Shinichi. I didn't mean to."

Yato felt something close to trepidation. He remembered the forest collapsing all at once. Who else could it have been but Yukki? He'd known that much. But to think he'd killed somebody after all… Not that it meant anything. Ridiculous—he killed someone _on accident_. Which one was Shinichi?

In his mind's eye, abysses of pupils bore into him: the gaze of the teen uttering the name 'Ciel' under his breath.

Yato didn't like this one-sided conversation.

"Back then, I'd felt really bad," Yukiteru admitted. "Finding him after I did that? It was a major mess-up. But I figured there was no going back, and so I started trying to gut someone. Don't worry; it didn't work." He laughed light-heartedly. It made Yato's skin itch. "I was a little bit freaked out, so I just went nuts. I wasn't very effective. Maybe it's for the better. Then maybe I really would've started trying to kill anyone I saw. Unless, probably, if it were A-ya."

Yukiteru paused. Yato didn't appreciate the uncomfortable silence.

Then, "I don't feel bad about it now. Shinichi was on accident, anyway. And now that I've 'remembered my future,' I guess, that doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot. Minene was right – I've seen some weird stuff. And you know, I've actually killed a lot of people after all. I know this doesn't mean much in this context, because in-game I've only ever ended Shinichi's life. That's it. And talking to you, I'm sure you've killed loads more people than I have. I figure this much because at home I actually wrote a list—you know, of everyone's names. That way, I can remember everybody I've ever killed."

There was a lightness to his tone that Yato tacked as slightly off-putting. Despite the topic of his explanation, he expressed naïve excitement. Like a kid talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up.

"I'm very careful about that. I like knowing who I'm killing," Yukiteru said matter-of-factly. "That way, I can bring all of them back someday… I know I can bring them all back when I'm god… just like you know that Celty killed the girl named Hiyori, and that was why it was okay to kill her."

Yato's breath faltered. He could not see it, but Yukiteru was smiling. The black-cloaked boy stared upwards, his blue eyes reflecting the sky as he looked out the open front of the shrine.

"So I've killed people I can't bring back. Does that matter? Is it bad that right now, I don't care? In some world, surely, everything is alright. But I've realized that I don't play a hero in a performance with a happy ending. I'm just the main player of a tragedy. What does that mean? Well…" Slowly, Yukiteru got to his feet, the soft sounds of his shuffling reaching Yato's ears. "I've got no reason to falter, now. Only eight people will be making it to the end of this game, you know. If there is an end. And I have to thank you, because you taught me something very important about this game."

He looked over to the still form of Yato, smiling with a gaze of his own glowing blue intensity. "That being said, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Yato." And with that, Yato was left in silence.

* * *

 **Guest:** Ah, thank you very much for the review! Indeed, Yukki is having a rough time of it, isn't he? Seems Rodd has taken an unfortunate liking to him. I do agree that it's good to have Shintaro back, haha~ You have a lovely day and week as well, now uvu


	57. Bond

"Ah, Rika-chan's back down!" It was Hide's exuberant smile that greeted her, and she beamed childishly back at him.

"Ni~paa~"

"Perfect timing," said Shirou as he pulled a pizza from the oven. "I hope you don't mind something a little Western. Hide had suggested it."

"I could have gotten that," Konoha said, reaching to steady him. Shirou waved him off before limping to a table to set it down.

"Let somebody _help_ you," said Rin, rolling her eyes. Shirou only rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Somebody has a little bit of a complex, isn't that so?~" inquired Izaya, sitting at the counter with his good hand cradling his head by his chin, elbow resting on the table. A smile curled his mouth smoothly. "C'mon, now, Shirou-kun."

"Ah, well…"

Kaneki glanced over at the informant from his spot behind the counter, grey gaze flickering. It was a look that… wasn't distaste, at least. Seemed that Izaya Orihara, whoever he was or who he'd been, was beginning to settle in. Where he had been comprised of tense static when he had first approached, he was beginning to relax into a fluid form. Instead of snipping phrases ranging from sugary to bitingly bitter, the words flowed from him like water. His figure, melting into a posture of sly confidence. Satisfied, Kaneki supposed they were doing a good job of welcoming him warmly.

Rika seated herself beside Hide, cheerily clapping her hands. "I think it will taste lovely, that is so~" she said.

"Ya hear that? This'll be great," Hide grinned, nudging Rin. She sighed.

"Too bad that…" began Izaya, but he stopped, coughing a bit into his hand.

"What was that?" asked Shirou, frowning.

"Nothing, nothing."

Kaneki gave him a sidelong glance, and Izaya stared at him with sharp red-brown, just a slight cold glimmer of humor hiding there. 'Too bad you can't join us,' it said. But Izaya was the one who looked away.

With a sigh, Kaneki closed his eyes with a smile. _Though he is still pretty troublesome…_ "Ah, Rika-chan," he said, turning to the youngest of the group. She perked up with a _nii?_ "Did you want something to drink, as well? The others have picked out their refreshments from the cooler, here."

"Ah, thank you very much. May I have that iced tea, there?"

"Of course."

While Kaneki went to get Rika a tea from the cooler, Konoha convinced Shirou to finally sit down next to Rin while the android made his rounds and gave everyone something to eat. Izaya refused the food, much to Konoha's deep sorrow. "Is it that you don't like pizza?" he asked.

"I really don't," Izaya smiled thinly.

"Man, you shoulda said something!" cried Hide.

"It's fine, it's fine," said Shirou, starting to get up before Rin pulled him back to a sitting position.

"It may be best for Izaya-san to eat something lighter, anyhow," said Kaneki. As he had been carefully brewing coffee since Rika's leave for upstairs, he poured out a cup and set it gently in front of the information broker.

Izaya looked at him in question, but Kaneki's warm visage only smiled before he turned away again. Their exchange was one of silence. Frowning, Izaya pulled the glass closer to himself with his good hand. He felt a warmth that he dubbed as unpleasant simply because it wasn't familiar.

"Shoot – here, man," said Hide, getting up and crossing over to where the loaves of bread were. "We'll getchya some bread, maybe with berries or something? Ya can't go and not eat…" Hide paused, thinking hard.

"I don't like anything sweet," said Izaya, closing his eyes.

"What?" said Konoha, shocked. "Why?"

Izaya quirked an eyebrow, as he'd already explained this to the android. "Unlike you, I'm not wired to enjoy everything I taste."

"Can androids even taste anything?" asked Rin with a frown.

"Yes, I can taste," Konoha nodded deeply. "I like barbecue best. Mayonnaise is also very good."

"…Those are both dressings."

Shirou scratched at the back of his head with a weak chuckle. "Any, uh… actual foods, there, Konoha?"

"Oh. Barbecue negima is my favorite," he commented.

"That's all well and good," remarked Hide, "but like, what do we feed Izaya?"

The informant sighed heavily. "You're making this all so complicated. Makes me sound like a picky kid."

"This sounds accurate," Konoha said, and Izaya frowned at him in distaste.

Hide laughed.

"As I said," sighed Kaneki lightly, "Izaya should be eating something light anyhow. The same goes for Tohsaka-chan, I should say."

"Oh, I'm fine," Rin said sourly.

"It really doesn't matter the content," Izaya shrugged. "Really, this is all unnecessary. I'll just have something plain."

"Alright, bread it is!" Hide beamed.

"I am just glad to eat together with everyone," Konoha said matter-of-factly.

"I hardly think a bonding session is what we need," sniffed Rin.

"You're too sour, Rin, c'mon!" cried Hide. "With your sour and 'Zaya's bitter, we've really gotta sweeten the place up!"

"Zaya," Izaya repeated, brow quirked again.

"I must agree with Hide," Rika piped up brightly, and immediately Izaya darkened. "At least on the premise that Rin is wrong."

Rin crossed her arms over her chest. "…Hey…"

"I think what Rika-chan means," said Kaneki, "is that we need a little bit of time spent leisure, isn't that right?"

"That is so~"

"Gotta enjoy the time we've got," beamed Hide.

"That is," said Izaya drily, "the time we have left." He raised his mug. "Cheers."

Shirou scratched at his cheek. "No need to be so grim, Izaya-san."

"Well, he's right," uttered Rin.

"All the more reason to enjoy every second!" said Hide, and Kaneki nodded, though touching his chin.

Just for a bit, Izaya laughed. "True, true…!"

"For this, I like times like this," said Konoha with blank happiness, gesturing around to everyone as he ate. "Making 'friends,' and having fun with them. All of you, yes, even Rika and…" He looked at Izaya for a bit, and tilted his head. "…and…"

Izaya drew his lips into a thin line. "…It's Izaya."

"Yes. That's right. Izaya."

Rin snickered as Rika giggled. Izaya only sighed. "How cruel, Konoha-kun…"

"Although," the android admitted, "it would be nice… if—Shintaro…"

Kaneki closed his eyes. "He'll come around," offered Hide, scratching at his cheek. "…Hopefully."

 _That's right,_ thought Izaya idly, sipping at his coffee. _Shintaro is with Seidou, last I saw. Not to mention, he tried to shoot me…_ He set down his mug, quiet. For once, he chose to hold his tongue. He didn't ask.

"Something will work out in the end, I'm sure," Shirou said with confidence.

"We _are_ the largest group, that is so," said Rika. "We seven make up a majority of the players in-game."

"Yeah, so we should be feeling pretty good about ourselves, huh?" grinned Hide.

"If you count the demon and A-ya as two people," added Izaya quietly, "we make up half. Is that right?"

Rika blinked. "That is so," she said after a moment's thought.

"At the very least," said Rin, "the odds are in our favor."

"Perhaps," Rika allowed.

"Statistically speaking," agreed Izaya. "But theoretically speaking, the game masters will direct this group to be picked off bit by bit, by bit."

"However," said Rika, "it is so that the antagonists, too, must be eradicated for the game to end."

Izaya shrugged. "And how many players can make it to the end? Has that been specified?"

"I don't—think so."

"You say 'bit by bit,' Izaya," said Hide, "but do you really think there's that much time left for this game?"

"I really don't," he answered hollowly. "I know there isn't."

"Hard to believe this can really be wrapped up so soon," said Hide. "But actually… I haven't even been here as long as some of you."

"Even we original members," said Kaneki soberly, "have not been here quite so long as Rika-chan."

 _You don't know the half of it._ She sighed. "No need to say such things, Kaneki. All that matters is that soon, hopefully, we will find the end."

"I would like an ending," Konoha nodded.

"It'll be quite a show," said Izaya.

"I guess that was the point," remarked Hide.

Rin rolled her eyes. "No kidding."

"But we will be the ones who take the last laugh," Rika said with conviction, and everyone looked at her tiny self.

"…I'll cheers to that," said Hide, and they raised their glasses and mugs. Konoha did it with some confusion, but following along with everyone else, he did fine.

"…Ah," said Konoha, cocking his head to the side. He lowered his cup, eyes flickering. "But there is sound."

"Sound?" repeated Shirou.

Kaneki held up a hand, and everyone in the shop went silent. In this hushed moment, even the humans could make it out, utterances beyond the front door which separated them from the outdoors. Upon everyone's toning down, the voice, too, went dead quiet.

Then a muffled, " _For fuck's sake!_ "

As the door was slammed into and splintered open in one strong kick, all those able sprang into action: Kaneki jumped over the counter and stood between the group and the intruder(s), Konoha turned on his heel to face them, Hide drew his knife while Shirou materialized his own weapons, Rin got to her feet and pointed her arm in preparation of firing curses… and so on. Even Rika gripped at the hilt to her knife, while Izaya slipped his hand over the hilt of the Prophet. Izaya, however, did not turn to face the door.

And Seidou burst inside, practically throwing Shintaro at the conglomerate's feet. The NEET staggered, almost falling over at the sudden launch. It was Konoha who jumped to steady him.

" **Take him; damn it!** " hissed Seidou. The group at-arms seemed confused as to whether or not to remain on-guard. The cloaked half-ghoul indicated Shintaro with a single black-nailed index finger, his mouth twisted into his perpetual scowl. " **He's nothing but a burden, the fucking shut-in; just take him back!** "

"We _so_ did not agree to this!" cried Shintaro.

" **There's nothing to agree on!** "

"What are you _talking_ about? I thought we literally _just had_ a bonding moment! Didn't we?" He paused. "…Di— _didn't we_?"

"Seidou," said Konoha, the first of the larger group to speak. The half-ghoul glowered at the android, and he shrank under Seidou's bitter gaze. "Th…thank you for bringing Shintaro back."

" **Don't bother,** " Seidou scoffed, and turned back to the door to leave.

Shintaro looked befuddled and hurt. "Seidou, you can't seriously—"

Kaneki gripped Seidou's shoulder to stop him. He froze. Again, no one spoke. Silently, the two tortured souls made an attempt at communication.

"W-wait," said Shintaro, suddenly frightened. He raised his hands to everyone. "D-don't attack him. He's—uh—okay, now. Kinda. I think. Really! I mean… uh, _I'm_ still alive… so."

"…Kaneki, what are we supposed to do, here?" asked Rin cautiously.

"Nothing," he answered. "Lower your arm. There's no need for any of us to fight."

Grudgingly, she did so. Shirou's weapons dissipated. Shintaro sighed in relief. Rika closed her eyes, listening closely to the scene at hand. She'd wait her turn.

"Really…," said Hide, and Kaneki could feel Seidou tense just slightly under his hand. "Takizawa, man, you've got _perfect_ timing! Neki just made some fresh coffee!"

Seidou didn't answer.

"Perhaps you'd like a cup?" offered Kaneki, tone welcoming.

"Things taste better when you're with friends," piped in Konoha. "And, and you are someone… someone they call 'friend.'"

"Where would you go?" asked Shintaro. "If you were to leave now. Honestly… when obviously they wanted both of us back this whole time."

"… **I don't need any coffee,** " he uttered.

"Here, I'll pour a cup," said Hide, bouncing up and going over to the pot.

" **I** _ **said**_ **—** "

"Seidou, just accept the coffee," said Shintaro, bringing a hand to his forehead.

Seidou was once again silent. Then, jerking from Kaneki's welcoming grip and turning to face everyone with festering eyes, " **Well then,** _ **Shintaro,**_ **how come everybody's just having a fucking** _ **party**_ **when they wanted both of us back?** " He glared accusingly at the others. " **No one even bothered to look, did they?** "

"That's because," smiled Kaneki, "I trusted you. I granted you the faith you asked of me."

Seidou stiffened.

"I knew you would bring him back sometime… that you wouldn't kill him. I'd like to think I know you well enough to say that much."

" **Why the** _ **fuck**_ **would you trust me?** " Seidou snipped. " **Not only am I a traitor,** _ **I killed a teammate.**_ **Remember?** "

"I certainly do." Kaneki's voice was subdued, his eyes closed.

"So why exactly—?" began Rin, but Shirou nudged her with his elbow in disapproval.

"I'm really glad," said the redhead, "to see you in better circumstances, Seidou…" The half-ghoul scoffed. "I really didn't have long to get to know you, but…"

Hide was beaming as he held out a cup to Seidou, who stared dumbly at it. "Takizawa's a pretty likeable guy, right?"

"But," said Rin skeptically, "isn't he the guy that—?"

"That's right!" Hide snapped his fingers. "We should properly introduce him to everyone!"

" **I never agreed to staying here,** " Seidou grumbled. " **I don't need any intros. Really.** "

"I think it would be nice," commented Konoha, and Shirou nodded emphatically. "Why wouldn't you want to stay?"

Seidou frowned deeply at the android.

Shintaro fiddled with his fingers. "They're not rejecting you, Seidou. I think we all want you here… um…"

He looked away. " **I… It is true that I want to keep an eye on** _ **you**_ **, you pathetic twig that you are.** "

"…I…"

" **If I were to leave him be,** " he said, matter-of-factly, gesturing to the shut-in, " **…he might just get himself killed on accident. And that would be just too ridiculous to let go.** "

"I mean, whatever floats your boat, Takizawa," Hide shrugged, and Seidou shot him a look. The human tried holding out the coffee again. Seidou drew his lips into a thin line.

"Ah, speaking of which," said Kaneki thoughtfully, touching his chin and turning to the hikkiNEET, "…what happened to your arms, Shintaro-kun?"

"Eh?"

Seidou went rigid, blinking his single eye.

Shintaro held up his arms to himself, shocked to discover the sleeves of his red jersey were torn and bloody, his flesh littered with puncture wounds. His grey eyes filled with a mix of fear and curiosity, he said, "I… honestly couldn't tell you. I—can't remember."

"…" Seidou coughed.

Shintaro looked at him. "I-I never forget stuff."

" **Pro…prob** ably because of that blade thing—or whatever," sniffed Seidou. "Oh well. Too bad."

"Shintaro got harrowed?" Shirou inquired, concerned.

"And fixed?" added Konoha, tilting his head.

"Y—yeah, it's a long story. Don't ask," Seidou said, clipped.

"Seidou," said Kaneki, "do you know what happened to…?"

"Well, anyway," said Seidou, crossing over to Shintaro, "I'll just have to make sure nothing like that happens again. Right?"

Shintaro furrowed his brow. "…Uh?"

"Didn't that happen to him while _you_ were holding him hostage?" asked Rin, cocking an eyebrow.

" **Shut up,** " he growled.

"If we're keeping Shintaro," cut in Hide, "then that means we get to keep you, too, right, Takizawa? I sure am happy you've calmed down some."

" **Yeah. Right.** "

"Well, hey." The bleached-blond one set down the cup of coffee and pulled something from his pocket. "I'm just glad to chat with you again, bud. I've got something for ya, too." And he flipped the golden coin he'd gotten from Senji right before Seidou had fought and killed him. Seidou caught it, but looked utterly confused at the gesture. "That was Senji's. He was the guy you met out in the field. You won that fight… but you know, I think he'd want you to have this one. It's a good luck charm."

" **I don't need—** " He tried handing it back to Hide, but he only raised his hands up, shaking his head.

"Keep it. It's a memento, you know? The kind of thing I wanna pass along here – as a friend. It belonged to someone great, you know?"

" **Then why should I have it?** " he asked flatly. " **Whatever his name was, he's dead. He can't say that I deserve it.** "

"Yeah," Hide conceded, "but he gave it to me, anyway. I'm talkin' on his _behalf._ Besides, according to him, everyone is supposed to take turns being a hero."

Seidou looked bothered, but grudgingly pocketed the coin in his cloak. " **It's not like I actually wanna stick around, or anything… I'm just—keeping an eye on that one.** " He gave a jerking motion to indicate Shintaro. " **Mind you, not 'cause I care or anything, but because he's—kinda pathetic. And because of that, funny.** "

"Wow." Shintaro slumped. "Thanks, Seidou."

" **Not a problem,** " he answered drily.

"Well, perhaps we should tend to those wounds of yours," said Kaneki, smiling warmly at the NEET. "If you'll let us, we'll treat you too, Seidou…"

"What happened to your _eye?_ " asked Rin, squinting.

" **Okay,** _ **that**_ **was this asshole right here—you could have warned me that using that stupid blade would make him into a piece of shit!** "

"It was a little bit difficult to explain that to you in the situation at hand," commented Kaneki, light and perhaps a little bit too happy with Seidou's frustration. The half-ghoul in question scowled at him. "Ah, seeing as you'll be staying, Seidou, perhaps introductions are due again? The group has changed since when last you two were here."

" **Well, lots of people that were around are dead now. So.** "

"Not what I meant," Kaneki said calmly, hushing those who'd been ready to protest: Rin in particular, though Konoha seemed about to speak up himself. "There are some new members, you see…"

Shintaro started looking around at the group at hand. Being rather distracted with the situation revolving around Seidou, and by the fact that he was at last re-reunited with Konoha, he hadn't really taken any time to look at anyone else.

"And Seidou," said Kaneki, "I really am… glad to have you back."

Seidou had nothing to say. He festered silently.

Shintaro, meanwhile, had caught the eye of a girl who looked to be seven or eight… no more than ten, maybe eleven. So it was true, having new members. Who was this girl? She seemed familiar, somehow, but why? Her eerily jaded eyes seemed to attempt at communication. He swore that she smiled, just slightly, as she folded her fingers together around a—an armadillo in her lap? She looked like she wanted to say something.

…And he noticed, too, the absence of Roppi, and of Akira, even though he already knew they wouldn't be coming back. He noticed that Shinichi wasn't there, either.

He felt his recurring hollowness try and swallow him from the inside out, but he shook it off and pointed out in his own head all of the people still around. Konoha and Kaneki were here, waiting for them. Hide, Shirou, Rin? That little girl; an armadillo, apparently; and…

Looking at the bar counter to this bakery shop, Shintaro squinted, bemused, to the one sitting with his back turned, silent. "Wha…?"

Izaya glanced over to the scene at hand, relatively unimpressed. He felt like his intrigue should be far more active than it was at present, but he didn't know how to fix that, so here he was. Only those he'd interacted with since his last encounter with Yato would know him, so there was no reason to draw attention to himself just yet – at the very least, this had to be a blessing in regards to Seidou Takizawa. He didn't feel like being literally cannibalized, here.

He noticed Shintaro looking at him, and looked back to his cup of coffee.

" _Izaya?_ "

Izaya froze. So did everyone else.

Shintaro didn't notice the surprise registering around him, crossing over to the informant with concerned crimson eyes. Izaya was definitely looking at him now, wide-eyed and baffled. "…What?" was all Izaya could get out.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Shintaro went on, "but I am _so glad_ you've caught up to this group. Kuroha and his new body were riding solo last we saw, so I didn't know if maybe you'd died—totally not the best choices you were making, even though I'm still not too happy with that thing on the balcony, come to think of it—"

" _ **OI.**_ " Seidou, bristling, shoved Shintaro to the side and put himself between the two of them. " **Who the fuck is this guy? Can I trust him?** "

"Huh?" Shintaro blinked at the half-ghoul, who then got right up in Izaya's personal space.

" _ **How do you know Shintaro?**_ "

"It's… a long story," offered Izaya lamely. Seidou leaned in closer, and he tittered nervously, eyes flicking from Seidou to Shintaro.

"Shintaro-kun…" said Kaneki, touching his chin, "…I don't suppose… you know Izaya, then?"

"Nice, _Shin_ knows him!" grinned Hide.

"Amazing," murmured Rika, staring with hope-brimmed eyes to the hikkiNEET that was now the center of attention.

"Y-you mean to tell me," said Shintaro holding up his hands, "that… none of you know who Izaya is?"

"On the contrary," said Kaneki.

"Not so," said Rika.

"Just met 'im," said Hide.

"Not really," said Shirou.

"Nope," said Rin.

"I, don't think so, at least," said Konoha, thoughtful.

Seidou was the most eloquent of all: " **Why the** _ **fuck**_ **would I know this weird-ass little Eskimo man?** "

"Excuse you," frowned Izaya, who bit his tongue as Seidou shot him another look.

"…Izaya, please tell me I've met you," Shintaro said faintly.

"I mean, I thought so," Izaya shrugged, "but I'm currently in a predicament where no one seems to remember me…"

"But I—do?"

"…I don't know. Do you, Shintaro-kun?"

"Uh… did you push me off a balcony?"

" **He WHAT?** "

Izaya grimaced. "…Ye-e-es, Shintaro-kun, couldn't you have picked a better example? So your pet doesn't, well, rip my throat out?"

The others in-group were expressing varying degrees of alarm. There was an awkward pause.

" **WHY would you** _ **push**_ **him OFF OF A ROOF?** "

Izaya's smile was thin and strained. "Balcony, actually. But—"

" **YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT.** "

"—Got it. Crystal clear."

"… **Actually, I almost did that a few times; I can't blame you.** "

"Wow, thanks, Seidou," sighed Shintaro. "Anyway." He gave a straightforward gesture. "You. In group 6. With Yato. Best enemies with Shizuo. We started up an alliance with your group at like, day three."

"Yes," Izaya confirmed curtly.

"At that time," said Kaneki introspectively, "after all…"

" **Well, I don't know** _ **what**_ **you're talkin' about.** "

"You're not the only one who's forgotten," offered Shirou, earning only a bitter look from the half-ghoul. Shirou laughed weakly.

"But I'm apparently the only one who remembers," said Shintaro.

" **Wait a minute, did he call me a PET?** " Seidou snapped, delayed.

Shintaro brought his hands to his face, exasperated. "Oh my god, Seidou…"

" **I'm NOT your pet. I'm not ANYBODY'S pet.** _ **No.**_ **Nagachika, stop laughing, or I'll—** "

"That aside," Kaneki cut in, "Izaya-san, we now have confirmation for your former alliance with us. This is good news."

"I think," said Konoha in blank joy, "it would be a nice feeling to have someone remember you."

"Says the android with amnesia," Rin uttered, and Shirou sighed heavily.

"I wonder how something like this… would happen, though," said Shintaro, rubbing at the back of his head. "To think… That's kinda rough, Izaya… but, uh…"

"Now, now, wait just a moment," said the not-quite-forgotten informant, holding a hand to stop him, and then a single ringed index finger after he was silent. "You never forgot me?"

"I… don't think so," he answered blankly.

"That is, you shot at me with _a machine gun_ knowing who it was you were shooting at?"

Shintaro blinked.

Seidou cocked his head to the side, then looked at his red-jerseyed teammate in question.

"…Oh," said Shintaro, giving a weak smile. "D-did I? I… don't remember that part."


	58. End In Sight

Yato was sitting up when Nora returned to him. He was alone. The spirit almost remarked that he looked troubled, but he beat her to the punch: "You look a little put off, Hiiro. Who managed that?"

She blinked, then brought one of her kimono sleeves to her mouth. "I was about to say the same for you, Yato…"

He shook his head. "I'm not put off. I'm thinking."

"…Oh?"

"Yeah." He wasn't looking at her. "Taking revenge, like you said, for Yukine and Hiyori's deaths… isn't that impossible? All that's left is Kuroha, I guess."

"And Izaya?"

"I'm making him suffer, hopefully… if he's still alive."

"He is," she said coolly. "I really do think… that you should…" She paused, contemplating this.

"Should what? Kill him?"

She closed her eyes. If Izaya was now in the large group with Rika, it may be better to steer as clear from them as possible, but…

Wrapping her arms around the god in an embrace, Nora answered, "I'm not so sure, Yato. He might be dangerous, after all. Perhaps we made a mistake, sparing his life."

"But he's suffering the way he deserves, isn't he?" Yato's expression darkened. "But actually, I was thinking less about Izaya, and more about Yukki… About A-ya, and about Kaneki. A lot about how I'm really not all that great a person."

"Yato…"

"No, not like that. It's not like I've done wrong – I'm a god. I can't make choices that are 'wrong.' Bad, maybe. And if I'm as bitter as I'm coming to find as a God of Depravity, I don't think I can stand a happy ending after all of this."

Nora's scarlet eyes flickered in the dark of the shrine, and she pulled away from him slightly to try to look into his face. It was the Yato she knew, that was sure… Yet…

"I think I'm actually angry with Kaneki. After going on about inheriting the depravity of one's parent, and after becoming that himself… How can he just go back as if it were nothing? Maybe it's jealousy, I can't tell. But I think I, as a God of Calamity, wish pain upon him."

"…Then, let's inflict it," Nora agreed softly.

"We'll be more careful, this time. One target. Maybe he'd get my position if he, like me, lost the person who was 'the one to return to.' I don't know about Hiyori… but I can at least take away his Yukine. He had a good point, that I'd started lashing out when I lost him. Both of them. I had nothing left. Maybe it's hypocritical, maybe it's cruel… but that's who I was meant to be, isn't it? I can only take things away. Last fight, he told me I was stealing what others held dear because I'd lost that myself. I've thought about it, and thought about it… And he's right. That's exactly what I'm doing. It's just what I do."

Nora tilted her head, just slightly. "Then what would you like of me?"

"Tomorrow, we'll find them… The one whose name Kaneki shouted when the forest toppled. He'd said he'd lost all of his original team, but as he said, his curse is his kindness. He cares too much. That's why tomorrow we're going to kill Hide, specifically."

Nora looked up into him, at the cold gaze that wasn't directed at her.

"Alright," she said.

* * *

Hide looked up at the ceiling, thinking hard. After Shintaro and Seidou's return, no one really wanted to settle and retire for the night. Luckily, things were beginning to calm down again, with Rika having requested to speak with Shintaro alone about something urgent. He agreed, if bemusedly, and Rika had taken him upstairs to have their talk. Seidou had tried to join them, but Shintaro had assured the half-ghoul that it was alright. Grudgingly, Seidou had stayed down here with everyone else. Hide wondered what it was that Rika and Shintaro were talking about. He thought perhaps it had to do with him remembering Izaya, like the goddess Hanyuu did. Maybe Shintaro would hear about the goddess, or about the past routes.

 _Maybe he already knows?_ Hide scratched at his chin, then closed his eyes, sighing.

Shintaro didn't know either, at first, why he was being dragged off by this ten-year-old named Rika. He figured it had to do with Izaya, too, but the more he thought about it, the more he wondered why she looked familiar (nobody looked "familiar" to him, he had a photographic memory), and why it was she had caught his eye in the first place, even before he'd drawn attention to the fact that yes, he recognized Izaya Orihara and had no idea that he was the only one.

But when she took him to her designated room and shut the door, turning to look up at him with eyes so eerily deep, he thought perhaps he knew who she looked like: _That lavender-haired girl… the floating one with Izaya right before—well, right before he pushed me off a balcony. That person knew about the previous games too, so then…?_

"Shintaro Kisaragi," said Rika in low, prophetic tones, and Shintaro gulped.

"Uhm… yeah, that's me."

"It is," said the floating girl he'd just been thinking about, appearing out of thin air.

The NEET jumped, startled. "You—so you _are…_ "

"This is Hanyuu," Rika explained simply, gesturing to the floating girl. Hanyuu, who Shintaro now noticed had horns covering her ears, nodded in confirmation. "She is a goddess of whom I am the vessel to."

"You…" Shintaro blinked.

"I am the vessel to a deity, somewhat like A-ya is now the vessel to a demon."

"No kidding," he said blankly. "So… like…"

"You remember the previous worlds," said the one called Hanyuu.

"And due to this, I have been trying to find you," said Rika. "Ever since Hanyuu first met you, I've been working towards crossing paths with you, who remembers the previous routes as we do."

"So that's what this is about…?" He rubbed at the back of his head. "I mean, yeah – I've got this going on ever since… um, day five. I'd left my group to run after a teammate – Roppi, that is… Um… It wasn't like I remembered from the get-go; it kinda got… triggered by something, I guess. I'm not sure _why_ it happened, necessarily. Someone had told me that it had to do with a turning point I had… and that it was Muse themselves that activated it – that is, it was turned on by the mastermind behind this ridiculous game…" The two others merely stared at him in rapt attention, and he swallowed once again. "Although, I was apparently supposed to get something like this back home anyway, 'cause I've got the same kind of 'reset' crap going on there… or whatever." He sighed heavily. "It's really complicated."

"I have lived in the June of 1983 for decades, at the very least," Rika spoke with solemn understanding. "The fact that this is the first route, here, that we have met, is surely not coincidence. I hold some belief that this may at last be the final playthrough of these games."

"Maybe," he agreed faintly.

"If we, who can remember all of our previous failures, can join forces, I have faith that we have the chance at ending this once and for all." She looked up at him with a look of hope, yet also of sobriety. "Already, things have been going as they never have before."

"I don't remember ever being harrowed," Shintaro commented mildly.

"And Seidou Takizawa has never been brought back into a group for too long after having become the half-ghoul that he is now. At worst, he does not return, and is killed as an antagonist. At best, he leaves and sacrifices himself as a martyr, later."

Shintaro was quiet, tugging at the collar of his black V-neck t-shirt. Sadly, his beloved jersey had been disposed of, and his arms were now bandaged up from shoulders to wrists.

"Aru Akise has never come in, not in any other route," Rika added.

Shintaro's eyes flickered, and he nodded. "That's right, I remember him…"

"Yes. I also do not believe that this game has ever made it this far."

"Tomorrow's the tenth day," Shintaro nodded, sobered by the thought. There was silence between the two of them for a little while. "Thank you… You've got me thinking about something, Rika-chan. This is a game we're playing, isn't it? And yet I've never thought about it in terms of winning. I guess I just figured I wouldn't make it… And having seen all of the past routes, I—didn't really know what to do with the knowledge. Instead of using it to find an ending, I just kinda took at as evidence of hopelessness. But… having made it this far… and with you, now, too…"

Rika, curious, tilted her head. Hanyuu leaned in closer, but Shintaro didn't notice, looking somewhere far off.

"When Izaya gives that plan he's got, we're gonna discuss some stuff beyond that. We're going to have to compile all the information we have – about the game masters, and the structure of the game, and how to reach the end… Because you reminded me – this is a _game_ , Rika. And I _always_ come in first." He gave her a smile, one of sincere confidence, and just for a moment, she felt a sense of certainty. At her side, she felt Hanyuu practically glowing with tentative hope.

"…Let's try our best," said Rika closing her eyes. It was here that a knock on the door interrupted them, and all of them turned. Shintaro glanced at the youngest, who nodded. "Come in, it's alright," she said, and the door opened to reveal Hideyoshi Nagachika, grinning sheepishly and scratching at his cheek.

"Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt…"

"No, it is quite alright," said Rika. "We were essentially finished with our talk."

"What—is it?" asked Shintaro, looking just slightly nervous, now. His confidence was a fleeting thing.

"Well…," said the bleached blond boy, his eyes becoming overcast. "May I?" he asked, and they gestured to him the okay as he entered the room with them. "Actually, I…" His eyes were averted. "I need to talk to you guys too."

* * *

Kaneki watched Hide head up the stairs, curious but not questioning why his friend had excused himself. "I do wonder…," he mused.

" **Oh, let him do his own thing,** " uttered Seidou. He was staring emptily, irately, at the red jersey crumpled and discarded in a trash bin to the side. It had been torn as such that there was no point trying to repair it – unless, perhaps, Shintaro wanted to rip the sleeves off and wear it that way. _Ah, but red—suits him._ Shoulders bunching around his neck, Seidou pinched at the bridge of his nose, digging his thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes. The one that had been stabbed by the scissors throbbed dully in protest. _…Little shit._

 _Maybe I shouldn't have stayed._

He looked dimly around at the others. The android named Konoha was blankly interacting with the ones called Rin and Shirou. He did not remember Konoha very well, except that he had shown up when he first emerged from having been fast-forwarded. He remembered that his taste was bland.

He did not remember Rin very well, only knew that she was familiar somehow. Vaguely, he recollected flickering images of the one Hide called Senji. He fingered the coin in his pocket. That was right, that man had tried to give this coin to her. With some humor, Seidou wondered whether Rin hated him. Most of him hoped so.

Shirou, though, he remembered distantly. The son of someone named Kiritsugu… Kiritsugu, who had believed in Seidou, for whatever reason. _But he never became a hero, so what point does that make?_

Yet he remembered Shirou saying, _"He was my hero."_

And then, Shintaro: _"You saved_ me _."_

Seidou looked away from the group image, then, and to the loner apart from those three. Izaya, was it? Must've been. The fact that Shintaro knew who was but Seidou didn't made him feel incredibly angry. It certainly didn't help that this Eskimo-jacket-wearing asshole had a lot of fresh wounds hiding under bandages that Seidou couldn't see—but he could smell it. When was the last time Seidou had actually eaten? He couldn't remember it, not very clearly in any case… But he knew he was hungry. And he didn't like being hungry. It sent him to bad places. These game limitations were a real bitch.

He looked at the one called Izaya again – would it be too much of a _bad_ thing if he were to eat him? Well, Shintaro seemed like he might be upset… but…

Seidou watched as Izaya turned to look at him; watched as his vision bled red and he swore it was Roppi he was looking at. Going rigid, Seidou pressed his fingers to his eyes again, baring his teeth behind his palms. _Roppi._

When he looked again, he realized that Izaya had never even looked at him. He remained with his back to him. Roppi remained dead and gone.

Seidou felt a little bit less hungry.

"Seidou-san," said Kaneki to his fellow tortured soul, and Seidou twitched.

" **What.** "

"Pardon my asking, but are you properly sustained right now?"

It was like he'd read his mind. Seidou didn't answer.

"Because you see," said Kaneki, touching his chin, "I've not eaten, either, since some time before my last fight… Before the fight preceding, as well. At this point, I might black out." A pause. Kaneki chuckled. "I don't suppose you're still up to putting me down if I get out of control?"

Seidou stared at him, skeptical. He couldn't believe it. " **You're kidding.** "

"Maybe I am; I can't tell. But I don't want to snap and hurt anyone again, either…"

Seidou was silent. So was Kaneki. They listened to Konoha asking whether something called a 'Noble Phantasm' could be something cool like an endless supply of food. Whatever a 'Noble Phantasm' was.

"That's not how it works," huffed Rin.

"I mean, I guess it's _possible,_ " offered Shirou.

"No, it's not."

"That is too bad," sighed Konoha. "If I were a Heroic Spirit, I would want that as my special power."

"But that's not a _weapon_ ," said Rin.

"It could be," shrugged Shirou.

"Don't push it."

Konoha tilted his head. "Push what?"

"Ah, Konoha," sighed Kaneki lightly, closing his eyes.

Upon glancing up at him from his sitting position, Seidou saw that Kaneki was smiling his Mona Lisa smile. Seidou frowned deeper. " **…Hey…** "

"Hm?"

" **Do you—want to, share dinner?** "

Kaneki blinked at him, but Seidou did not look up again. They didn't need to specify that it was morgue they would go to. As torn apart as it was, there were still scraps to be had. And for now, that was enough. If they really needed to, they could eat the parasite, as terrible as that would taste. A gentle look touched Kaneki's visage. "…Sure."

Looking out to the other four in the room, he said, "Everybody, I'm going to head out with Seidou-san for a bit. We'll be back soon… Until then, Shirou-kun, would you take charge?"

Shirou straightened. "Wha—I don't know that I'm suited for something like—"

"Would you rather Konoha be in charge while I'm gone?"

"Well, I mean…"

"Please just do it," said Rin, and Shirou chuckled, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his red-haired head.

"A-alright…"

Konoha only blinked. Izaya remained silent.

"Alright," Kaneki gave a knowing kind of smile, now. "I thought as much. We'll see you all soon. All four of you." He eyed Izaya. "You're welcome to more coffee, if you'd like, Izaya-san."

The informant gave a small _un_ of acknowledgment, but otherwise did not answer. With that, Kaneki and Seidou left for the building across the street.

"To be honest, I'm rather uncomfortable in this building," Kaneki admitted as they entered. "I'd imagine you feel similarly."

Seidou just stared into the lobby, immobile. At the doors to the Emergency Room, closed off and dark-windowed.

Eventually, " **…Yeah.** "

They didn't talk much, just went to where the stairwell led down to the basement and therefore to their food supply. Upon entry to the morgue, Seidou paused but a moment, uttering an, " **Oh, yeah, I left a mess,** " before going right over to a girl's eyeless, decapitated head and lifting it carelessly. " **Cheers, Kaneki!** " he grinned with a trace of mockery.

Sighing, Kaneki went over to a discarded girl with green locks, carefully parting her left arm from her body. "Cheers, Seidou-san."

Giddy, Seidou sat cross-legged on the first table in the room, closest to the door. Kaneki leaned against the empty table just next to it, and they faced one another as they ate. Seidou had tipped the head to the side, pinching his fingers in her eye sockets and ripping the maxilla plate from her face. Now, he stuck his hand inside and ate the contents from his hand like Winnie the Pooh might do to honey. " **Heads are best. You ever think that brains kinda taste like jam?** "

"I suppose," Kaneki offered. "I don't often try to compare flesh to human food… I try to keep myself from being desensitized, to the best of my ability…"

" **That's lame.** "

"…Not that it works all the time," he added with a shrug. "My desensitization was inevitable, and it's already too late for anything like that."

" **Right… because really, you're not about justice, and you're not on any particular 'side.' You just wanna keep the ones close to you safe. You're no selfless hero that acts for the good of some blanket term.** "

"Mm," Kaneki replied, noncommittal.

Seidou licked at his fingers, thoughtful. There was a silence again between them, but somehow, it was comfortable. Between them, the apologies were not spoken, but still understood.

Gradually, Seidou slowed, and lowered his skull bowl. " **Do you think… that we belong here? A place like this?** "

"How do you mean?" Kaneki inquired, looking to him.

" **Both of us…** " Seidou smiled, somewhat rueful. " **We'** r **e both dead, after all. Here we are, surrounded by corpses. It's our place, in its own way. Y'know?** "

"But yet, they are not trapped here, as we are." Kaneki closed his eyes. "We can still draw breath, for better or worse. We can still act. We can still change."

" **Nah.** "

Kaneki looked at him, but Seidou was just sucking at one of his fingertips, looking away. "Do explain."

" **I think I've figured it out, anyway. I'm not cut out for this stuff like you are, like Shintaro is… and so on. I don't have morals keeping me in place anymore. I won't take back… the crimes I've committed.** " Solemn, Seidou got to his feet, dropping his finished meal to the bloody ground. " **Maybe if I could turn back time, I would. But Seidou Takizawa died a while ago, and I can't get him back, either, even if I were to want to. I can't turn back that clock. What's done is done. There is no going back for me. There just isn't.** "

"Seidou-san, I hope you know you still have a place with us."

Seidou scoffed, walking past Kaneki and to the two bodies still intact, scarves adorning their necks. " **Yeah… I know. And—I've alre** ady decided… how it is I'll keep living."

Kaneki discarded his finished arm part and approached Seidou from behind. "…Those must be left alone," he said softly, putting his hand to Seidou's shoulder. Seidou shook his head. "…What is that, then? Your decision?"

"It's not anything for me to say," he said hollowly, reaching out in the dim lighting to the one named Ayano. Kaneki politely released Seidou's shoulder and watched as his fellow half-ghoul faltered. _I bet,_ thought Seidou, _that she, too, shone bright. Like Kaneki does now. Like Shintaro does now. Like Amon did. I can't do anything like that. I can't spout inspirational phrases or spit certainties revolving justice – an ideal that I can't even believe in anymore. That ideal… yeah, that died with Seidou Takizawa, too, didn't it?_

 _I'm not striving for anything. I have no future. Not the way I am now._ At last, he grasped at the crimson scarf with one hand, gently tugging it from her and unraveling it from her pale throat, removing it from her dark-clothed shoulders. _But that's just it. When your future's gone to shit and there's nothing left of you… the only thing I can do, is live for somebody else._

Folding the scarf gently, he turned away from the one problem Shintaro couldn't solve. _Shintaro… please, smile. You're going to make it home again._

"Well, then?" Seidou gestured to Kaneki. "Let's go back."

* * *

 **Guest:** At last, at last! I'm glad you're excited for their return - and thank goodness Izaya has somebody who knows who he is. Although Shintaro has a photographic memory, that alone wouldn't negate Yato's cutting of Izaya's ties. It may be a little more than that, but we'll see. The group conglomerate continues to get larger! Guess we'll have to see how that sticks, too. Thank you very much for the review, and have a lovely day!


	59. Ruminate

"…Did you get this from her dead body?"

Seidou looked into Shintaro's expression: the shut-in's visage was dull, brow furrowed with some kind of concern.

" **Is that bad?** "

"Well, I mean…"

Baring his teeth, Seidou shoved the scarf at him. " _ **It's yours now**_ **.** " By the time he and Kaneki had returned from their dinnertime venture, Shintaro had come back down from upstairs with Rika and Hide both. Now things were winding down, and among the others Kaneki was now delegating the night shifts.

"Uh—" Shintaro held the scarf bemusedly in his hands, looking pained.

Seidou stared intensely at him with his single open eye. Had he done wrong? " **She doesn't need it anymore, Shintaro,** " he pointed out." **She's dead.** "

He flinched. "You're—right, of course…"

" **I mean—by that, I mean…** " Seidou looked around for an answer. " **She was your hero. Now she can't be. It's your turn. So—I think she'd want you to wear it, too.** "

Shintaro looked as if he'd been stricken, and Seidou stiffened. Then the shut-in's eyes began to well and, averting his gaze, he wrapped it around himself. Smiling lopsidedly at Seidou, he said, "Thank you."

Seidou momentarily looked relieved. Then, crossing his arms over his chest, he said, " **That's what I thought.** "

"Ah, Shintaro and Seidou," Konoha piped in. "Kaneki has said that it is time for us to get ready for sleep. Tomorrow, a lot will happen, he says."

Shintaro blinked. "Oh, that's right… what time is it?"

"Sometime that is late."

" **No shit,** " Seidou growled, and Konoha stared at the half-ghoul. At the look Seidou gave him, he shivered.

"I don't understand." His voice was faint.

"Seidou, please don't scare Konoha too bad," Shintaro sighed. "Konoha, he's a nice guy somewhere deep down – he's just… uh, a little blunt? And… scary. He won't hurt you. Really." He eyed the half-ghoul in question. " _Right,_ Seidou?"

" **No promises,** " he uttered. Shintaro frowned at him in disapproval, and he sniffed. " **I won't hurt him. Got no reason. Tastes boring.** "

"Is it good, or bad… that I taste boring?" asked Konoha.

Shintaro sighed. "Probably a good thing."

"Then thank you very much, Seidou."

Seidou rolled his single eye.

"Seidou, Konoha is a good friend of mine from back home, remember? He's a little slow sometimes, but he's probably got the purest intentions out of anyone."

"I want to have fun with friends," Konoha said matter-of-factly. "That is my wish."

"… **Right.** "

"And actually, before I go to bed for the night," Shintaro commented, "I wanted to have a talk with Izaya, if he's up to it…" He looked over to the counter where the informant still sat, his back to them. "Hm…"

" **Why do you wanna talk with** _ **him**_ **?** "

"Do you mean, alone?" Konoha tilted his head.

" **I won't let this one be alone,** " said Seidou. " **I don't trust that creep. I'm going with you, Shintaro.** "

"Well, I guess that's fine…"

"Can I also come?" inquired Konoha.

"I don't know if I should have so many… uh…" Shintaro looked regretfully into Konoha's hurt expression. "Well…" He rubbed at the back of his head. "I mean—I guess that that's fine… for all of us… to…" He sighed. "I'll just get myself a drink before I…"

"I can get it," Konoha said with blank brightness, promptly heading over behind the counter to get something from the fridge. Both Shintaro and Seidou blinked at him, bemused.

"Hey, Konoha, you really don't… need to…"

Neither Konoha nor Seidou seemed to hear. " **Oi, get back here—I can handle that myself!** "

"Uh…" Watching them hopelessly, Shintaro breathed a long, weak sigh. "Well… alright then…" Rubbing at the back of his head, he looked over to Izaya. "Hm…" And he approached him.

Izaya was quiet, which Shintaro thought was pretty weird in the first place. But after all, for some reason everyone else had forgotten who he was, so what could he really say? _Well, a lot, actually,_ he thought, but shrugged off the thought. He figured Izaya had a reason to be quiet. He noticed that the mug of coffee in his hands was empty, and that one of his hands was bandaged around the palm. He was still wearing those silver rings on his index fingers, so that hadn't changed – although they were pretty dirty by now.

"They're like dogs," said Izaya.

Shintaro's eyes flickered in surprise. He guessed Izaya had noticed him at his side after all.

"Konoha's like the puppy," Izaya added, and raised his cup just slightly, paused, and set it down on the counter again. Must have remembered it was empty.

Shintaro watched as Seidou made a can of soda explode in Konoha's face, and sighed yet again. "You're… really right."

"Of course I am," he said drily. He paused. "I hate dogs."

Shintaro's brow furrowed. "I'm… sorry?"

Izaya shrugged.

"Right…" He paused. "Hey, Izaya, can I talk with you a little bit? I really want to chat."

His mouth twisted into a wry, mirthless smile. "Hoh? Why's that?"

"I dunno… I guess I want a better explanation of what happened with you – I want some catch-up. Because after all… I'm a little bit weirded out that I know who you are, but for some reason no one else does… Did I miss something? Was I supposed to pretend not to know you?"

Izaya gave a short, harsh laugh. "It was an option."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that nobody knew who you were?" he huffed. "This is all just so weird…"

"Anyway," said the informant, getting up from his seat. "I wouldn't mind speaking with you again, Shintaro-kun." That thin smile was somewhat more familiar to Shintaro, but even though Izaya's smiles had never once touched his eyes, somehow this look just looked a little bit off in comparison to the visage he'd once worn.

"I guess, uh, we'll do that upstairs. Apparently Seidou and Konoha wants to join, so…" He shrugged lamely. "…If that's fine…"

"Oh, just fantastic," said Izaya.

" **I have your stupid holy drink,** " Seidou came in abruptly, holding a can out to Shintaro over the counter. Just behind him, Konoha stood, flustered, with a towel sitting on his head.

"Oh… Konoha…" Shintaro brought a hand to his forehead. "You've got soda all over, you can't just put the towel on your head… you've gotta… uh…"

"My, my," said Izaya.

Kaneki went over to Konoha to help wipe off the soda, looking both humored and apologetic while Seidou merely looked away.

"Shall we?" said the informant, beginning already to walk towards the stairwell.

"I literally just made it back downstairs, too…" uttered Shintaro under his breath, jogging a bit to catch up, then slowing down to Izaya's pace. "Ugh."

"You've done far more strenuous tasks in this game, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah… That's true."

Behind them, Seidou followed with the soda, and Konoha trotted after with his soda-soaked towel. Kaneki watched them go, amused. Izaya went and picked a room, where the informant sat simply in a chair while Shintaro stood awkwardly in proper conversational distance. His awkwardness wasn't helped by Seidou Takizawa and Konoha just behind him on either side. Thoughtful, Konoha pulled a wooden chair from a desk and set it in front of Shintaro to sit at. Seidou glared at Konoha, who looked frightened and confused as to why Seidou was angry. Even more uncomfortable, Shintaro sat down, heaving another sigh. He was gonna sigh a lot tonight, wasn't he? Jeez…

Once he was settled, Seidou shoved the soda Shintaro had never taken into his range of vision. " **Take your fucking soda.** "

"…Thanks?" He nervously took the drink and opened it with a satisfying hiss. The familiar sound calmed his nerves, if just a little. He took a sip.

Izaya flashed a smile. "What would you like to discuss?"

"Well, I mean…" He tugged at his new red scarf, rather self-conscious with it adorning his neck. "So, uh, why don't people remember you?"

"Oh, that has to do with Yato…" Izaya averted his gaze, smile already gone.

"Jeez, Izaya… you're really…"

"Really what, Shintaro-kun?"

"…At the end of your rope, I guess?"

Izaya's mouth twitched. "Oh, you don't know the half of it."

"What rope is he at the end of?" asked Konoha.

Seidou rolled his single eye.

"Um, it's an expression," said Shintaro.

"It's like a pet with a leash," Izaya smiled that thin smile. "A dog on a rope leash can go only so far before they're at the end of their rope. I can only go so far before I'm out of options. I can only go so far before my patience wears thin, and we'll just see what happens after that rope snaps, won't we?"

"This makes sense," Konoha murmured, interested.

" **Oh, jeez…** ," uttered Seidou.

"But whatever happened, the stuff I remember – it still happened, didn't it?" asked Shintaro, leaning in towards Izaya. "Like, we still allied with you and your group on day three, didn't we? You had the original plan to, um, fix the Kuroha problem…"

Konoha shifted slightly in blank discomfort.

"You still were the one that found me in hide-and-seek, right? You had the ultimate alliance plan? And…? You know… all of that."

Konoha looked to Seidou to see if he was as confused as he was, but Seidou only looked frustrated, glaring right at the informant in question.

Izaya didn't seem to care all too much about Seidou's gaze. "It must have happened. I have to believe so…"

Shintaro watched him, waiting for more, but Izaya gave nothing else. He almost sighed again, but stopped himself. Too repetitive. Instead, he crossed his legs, one over the other, and ran a hand through his hair, furrowing his brow. "Look, uh… However this happened, Izaya… well, it's kind of a questionable position you've got yourself in. Me being the only one that remembers, everyone's kinda looking to me for answers as to whether you can be trusted… and all that. Well, no offense, but you're a pretty questionable person…"

"What will you do?" Izaya asked him, his mouth twisting humorlessly.

"Well, Izaya, what I think I'll do is—trust you."

Izaya blinked at him. "…Hah?"

Seidou and Konoha looked at one another.

"I think you might have something to your annoying way of doing things – I'm going to say you're worth trusting. Just… don't prove me wrong."

"— **Or I'll rip your throat out,** " added Seidou.

Izaya lifted his hands in a show of peace, eyeing the half-ghoul who hovered over the shut-in's shoulder, one-eyed gaze fixed on the informant. "Alright," he said. "Alright."

"Well, um…" Shintaro shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "…Yeah," he said lamely. "You know that acting out will get you killed – you're in a terrible state anyway, and… I feel like maybe, just maybe, you might've learned your lesson?"

Izaya chuckled ruefully, but didn't answer.

"And even if not," Shintaro shrugged, "I feel like we have common interests. I'm just saying… don't even try to mess with us."

" **Unless you want to be disemboweled.** "

Shintaro tried to ignore his ghoulish friend. "Because—if you were to lead us to some kind of trap of your design…"

"… **Your life would be over before the ambush began,** " Seidou growled.

"…You would be losing the only thing you have left, and—"

"— **You wouldn't even have a pleasant life to flash before your eyes.** "

"…" Shintaro frowned deeply, looking up at Seidou's bitter face. " _Stop._ "

" **Why should I?** "

"I think," said Konoha, "that all of that's pretty scary, Seidou."

" **No shit, that's the** _ **point**_ **.** "

"I don't think the point of making friends is to scare them," said Konoha.

" **He's not our** _ **friend**_ **.** "

"But he is like Roppi. This must mean something. I would like to be his friend."

" **I'm gonna rip your heart it and eat it,** " Seidou spat.

Trembling, Konoha said faintly, "But I don't have a heart."

Placidly, Izaya watched the scene, folding his fingers together in his lap.

" **I** _ **already**_ **hate this guy's guts, and I barely know him!** "

"It seems you used to know him… Me too, maybe."

" **I bet I hated him then, too!** "

"Well, I think that if Shintaro wants to be his friend, then I also—"

" **If he even TRIES to get close to Shintaro, I'll whack his head off of his shoulders!** "

"…Does that work like baseball?"

Shintaro's grip tightened on his soda can; the metal bent inwards. His eyes were closed. His eyebrow twitched.

"… **What?** "

"Baseball, do heads work like baseball?"

" **Well, I** _ **could**_ **beat this guy with a bat, instead, but that kinda defeats the purpose of me being a ghoul.** "

"I see."

" **If he tries to play dirty, I'll hit a fucking home run—!** "

Shintaro couldn't take it anymore. "Oi, be QUIET!"

Konoha and Seidou both clamped their mouths shut.

"The point of this conversation," snipped Shintaro, "was for me to have a one-on-one with Izaya. Okay? Both of you. Stop."

"But—"

"Get out of this room and guard the door, or something! I don't care! Just _give_ me a minute!"

There was a pause.

" **Look at that—you heard him, Konoha, ya punk. Outta here.** " Seidou grabbed Konoha by his white shirt and yanked him along to the door. He shot a look to Izaya. " **I'm watching you. Try anything, and you won't be able to walk.** " And they left.

There was a period of silence, the tension slowly draining from the atmosphere. Shintaro took a deep breath… and sighed a long, long sigh. Izaya began to laugh. "What's so funny?" the red-scarfed one grumbled, tugging irately at the muffler around his neck.

"All of that," said Izaya. "It was funny. It was just—funny. They both really want your well-being, you know. Very nice."

"Yeah." He brought a hand to his forehead. "Nice…"

"So as a note, definitely don't go after _you_."

"No kidding…"

Izaya watched Shintaro as he slowly returned to himself, pinching at the bridge of his nose and then slowly lowering his hand. With his other, he lifted his soda, sipping at it tentatively.

"Sorry about that," uttered the NEET, and Izaya quirked an eyebrow. They were quiet again.

"The reason people forgot me," he said eventually, "…was because of Yato. He severed my ties."

"Severed your ties?" Shintaro repeated.

"Yes, a real shame." The informant leaned back leisurely in his chair, creating a sense of nonchalance over his erased existence. "Must have to do with emotional bonds… and fates, and other things in heaven's jurisdiction. I don't know. That kind of thing… whether people evaluated me positively or negatively, it's all gone. The only thing people have to draw on of course, as people, is memory. We have no records here. And so it's memory of me that has been wiped out among you."

Shintaro had a hand to his chin, nodding and thinking deeply.

"But you," said Izaya, "who have memory of all the routes previous, remember me. It only proves that Rika-chan… most certainly…" He trailed off, looking disturbed and bitter.

"Rika doesn't remember you either," Shintaro said quietly. "I just talked to her about it. She has no recollection of you, but, uh… The goddess, Hanyuu, does."

Izaya didn't respond.

"I'm not sure, but it probably has to do with the fact that Hanyuu is a deity, and if this was done by Yato, well… The act of a god might not affect another god… you know?"

"And what about you, Shintaro-kun?" he inquired, mouth upturning drily. "Are you implying some kind of god complex? Or is it really true, then, that you're a monster?"

Shintaro rolled his eyes. "Izaya, you've really gotta quit it with all of the talk of monsters. It's probably gonna offend somebody."

"I anticipate this."

"Right. Well, I don't know about myself, but I mean, now that I have a better idea of what's going on with my eyes… well… My ability is literally just one of _remembering_ , so it kinda stands to reason that I'd remember you. I got this weird ability by dying – it's tough to explain, please don't ask – but I'm pretty sure that whatever's making my eyes glow red is the same kind of thing that makes Konoha's eyes red. That means it's the same kind of idea as Kuroha. Which means—I'm possessed? I guess?" He rubbed at the back of his neck. "I don't _feel_ possessed, or anything. I don't hear voices, and I can control myself just fine… I mean—within reason."

"Maybe you were the demon all along?"

"Izaya."

"Sorry." He flashed another dead smile.

Shintaro sighed. "But my point is… if I've got a snake in me that's kinda like Kuroha, at least in terms of… creature… uh… If Kuroha can be considered a 'demon,' then maybe that kind of power would also negate the power of a god, see?"

Izaya nodded slowly.

"Rika is a human, but she's the vessel to a god," the red-scarfed one continued. "She, alone, is human – her goddess is not using Rika's body to be tangible. Their consciousnesses are not one and the same. So, it makes sense that Rika couldn't remember you, but Hanyuu could. That being said, the only people that likely remember you are myself, Hanyuu, Yato, and—probably Nora."

Izaya looked at the wooden flooring.

"But like I was trying to say, Izaya, I'm gonna give you that chance. With Yato's trick, your slate was inadvertently wiped clean. Having said that, you can build new ties. We're not _all_ dead yet… So yeah, I'm giving you that chance. Just don't make it so that I've made the wrong choice."

Izaya was quiet. Shintaro had nothing else to say. They sat there, facing one another with Izaya's gaze averted, for some time. The red-scarfed one only waited with mild impatience, tugging at his scarf. He finished his soda and set the can on the ground beside him, careful not to disturb the quiet. He thought he could hear Seidou and Konoha murmuring outside. He thought he could hear Hide's loud exuberance coming from downstairs.

"I, um…" Shintaro shifted. "I think that's all I really have to say about that… So…"

"I have a record."

Shintaro blinked at him. Izaya pulled something from his pocket: a small blue notebook. He handed it to the NEET carefully, and Shintaro began to leaf through it, curious. His eyes widened at all of the info. Not to mention – what tiny handwriting!

"It was Aru Akise's," Izaya explained hollowly. "I've had my share of analyzing his documentation of these games. His theories hold merit… and I'm still in writing. He's taken notes on me, so I still exist. That's all that really matters… You, remembering all of the resets, will probably make more of this than I can. After all, you've met with a game master, haven't you?"

Shintaro froze, staring. Izaya didn't look back.

"It only makes sense. I can be wrong, I don't really care. It's just something that adds up. You're someone who's definitely designated to reach the ending."

"What about you, Izaya?"

Izaya didn't answer at first. "You should keep that notebook," he said. "I have all I need. Like I told you, you'll be able to take more from it than me."

Shintaro held it out to him. "I looked at all the pages. I have a photographic memory, remember? I've got a copy of it in my head, now. So here."

Frowning just a bit, Izaya took it back.

"What happened to Akise, anyhow?"

"We really don't know." Izaya closed his eyes. "Presumably he had been killed with Yukki's group when Yato slaughtered them, but there's no body to be found. Who knows?"

"Huh…" Shintaro though about this. "Now, um… Izaya?"

"Hm?"

"What is it, exactly? This plan you've got… What will be happening, exactly?"

Izaya's mouth spread into a dead smile, his eyes overcast; fatigued. "Well, what I have in mind…"

* * *

"Tonight, too…" Yukiteru looked upwards, to a sky dark as his ebony cloak. "…I can't see a single star."

Sitting with his legs dangling over the edge of the hospital, he began to kick his feet idly. "Tomorrow will really be… the day everything happens, huh?" A smile touched his lips, and in the stillness of the night he pulled out his cellphone, flicking open a bright screen. _1 New Message._ "I wonder how A-ya is doing…"

He opened the message. [What are you planning?]

"You'll see," he said to open air, and laughed quietly to himself. "But I'll see you tomorrow, A-ya. Really, after all this… I truly—can't wait…!"

Across the street from him, the group conglomerate of nine began winding down for the night. By the time Shirou and Konoha emerged onto the café roof to begin first watch, Yukiteru wasn't in their range of sight. The dishes were done, the downstairs was cleaned, each of the five upper rooms were claimed, and the nine of them settled to rest. Whether the players slept varied, but all of them were full aware of the day to come, whatever was waiting for them.

Kaneki, courteous of the others' preferences, decided he'd like to take the lobby itself as his resting place. Hide had tried to urge him upstairs with everyone else, but he'd explained he was more comfortable down low, where he could hear if someone were to sneak in. It was partially true. There was also that he wished for some solitude, and there simply weren't enough rooms for him to maintain that if he were to be upstairs. Now he lay on his back, on the couch, staring into nowhere with everything to think about and nothing to say.

Upstairs, Rin Tohsaka thought about Shinichi, and how his death made her feel. She thought about him, and about Akira and Roppi. She thought about Senji, and about how Hide had given his only memento to the person that had killed him. She wondered why she felt so bitter about it. She wondered why she felt regret over people who logically should no longer matter, not in a death game. She thought, perhaps, if for a moment, that she was playing by the wrong rules. She remembered what the child Rika had talked to them about earlier that day. This disturbed her.

 _I hope Emiya-kun, at least, can make it,_ she thought, curling up tighter into herself on the bed and clutching at her abdomen, still wounded. She felt ridiculously feeble. How could she be so pathetic? _I can do better than this…!_ And she thought of the boy in the dark cloak who had stabbed her, and the eerie smile on his face. The blankness of his still blue eyes. What was she to make of that? And what kind of person, too, would ask a name like he had? Humanizing the person you're trying to kill? That was… It was…

 _I need to sleep. Tomorrow matters the most. We'll see then… who makes it out alive._ Curling tighter, she closed her eyes in the dark.

Rika, next door, was urged by Hanyuu to rest, even as the ten-year-old settled herself in a window seat overlooking the street below – _What a view,_ she thought with sarcasm. "I don't wish to lay down," she uttered to the goddess, despite her protests. Leaning her head on the glass, she thought of all of those that were left. She thought of what the ending might look like. The more she dared to imagine, the further off she drifted. On the window seat, to the disapproval of Hanyuu, Rika began to sink into slumber.

Sighing, Hanyuu settled herself beside her. "Could we really be that close?" she murmured to herself. "Somehow, it just doesn't feel so… Not after so long…" She brought her clutched hands to her chest, brow furrowed deeply. "What is it I should feel, right now…?"

In his room, Shintaro decided that he felt apprehensive. Hands cradling his cranium, he gazed into photographic replays of things that varied on a scale of whether he wanted to relive it or not. Mostly, it was things he did not. _At this rate,_ he thought with a sigh, closing his eyes, _I'll never be able to sleep. Not that I've slept much anyway, here… or, like, ever…_

Turning his head, he looked through the dim moonlight obscured by the window curtains, across the room to Seidou, who was curled up on a cushioned chair in the corner. He looked terribly uncomfortable, but Shintaro couldn't tell whether it was because of his position, his mood, or just being here in general – be it in relation to Shintaro specifically, or everyone else, or both… Maybe it was a combination of all these things. The half-ghoul had been mostly quiet since everyone started settling in for the night. Rather subdued. Regardless, Shintaro was just glad to have him back, however awkward the return was for everyone.

 _Roppi, we did it,_ he thought to himself, closing his eyes and biting the inside of his cheek. _We brought Seidou back…_ He figured that Roppi would be happy, too. He'd have to be. _I hope that you're home with Tsuki right now,_ he added, and tried his best not to cry.

Then there was Izaya, the light still on in his room as he read over Akise's notes for the umpteenth time. And then read over them again. "I get to see my teammate again tomorrow," he murmured to himself, and tittered quietly in his solitude. "Yato, will you hate it if I take action like this? Will you be glad? Or will you…?" He was sitting at a desk in the room. He did not finish his question, but instead closed Akise's notebook, expression falling and eyes losing their luster. "What a fun show it'll be," he said.

So he'd managed to make it into Kaneki's group. What's more, Shintaro still remembered him. They were going to follow through his plan. They were going to do it, all together. Still, Kaneki's coffee had been simply exquisite. Izaya could not comprehend the warmth of this placement. This group. He distantly wondered why he'd never noticed it before. Even worse was that even now that he sensed it, he didn't understand.

It reminded him of Twelve, maybe, or Shinra. That kind of fire? He couldn't tell. _But whatever it is…_ Hunching forward, Izaya brought his hands to his face, one over another. _…I can't tell if I, like it so much._ Alone, he wept. No one heard.

Lastly, there lay Hide on his back, eyes gazing into the dark ceiling. He thought about everything, and nothing at all. How could he put into words these swirling ruminations? He breathed a sigh. _Kaneki… Forgive me._ Closing his eyes, he turned onto his side and tried to sleep.


	60. Refresh

**Sorry for the day-late update - I do hope you enjoy~**

* * *

The sunrise was red. Perched on the railing guarding the edge of his high-rise building, A-ya stood tall, spreading his arms and catching the wind between his fingers. He could feel the static in his bloodstream and, taking a deep breath, he could feel his smile spreading. _Euphoria._

He knew what awaited him today. **Excited, aren't you?** said the snake.

 _Of course…_

"This… surely **will be the best day of my life,** " they said, and watched the sun rise with shining crimson eyes.

* * *

First thing in the morning, Kaneki brought a small group to the hospital for use of the items module. His group consisted of Izaya, Hide, Rin, and Shirou. The thought was that Hide and Rin, being the only members left from Group 5, technically, should get a chance with the items pillar, seeing as they hadn't used this one yet (or any at all, for that matter). Rika was offered to join, but she explained that those that originated from the female game were not input into the system of this game's pillars. Everyone else was either a part of Group 1 or 2, respectively, and so wouldn't be able to utilize it. Shirou had only come along after expressing his desire to do so. Probably because Rin was involved.

So the five of them crossed the street and headed to the second floor, where they would find the special items pillar waiting for them. "Ah," said Kaneki, "what room was it…?"

They entered room 2-15. "Say," said Izaya, "fifteen is the tarot card for the devil, did you know?"

"Indeed," Kaneki said quietly, while Rin huffed, irate. Izaya was not someone that made her feel at ease.

Glass was scattered over the floor, and the far right wall was destroyed, exposing them to the outside. A pleasant breeze drifted in. Kaneki stared at the empty not-wall for a moment, looking rather distant. No one asked.

Instead, Hide piped up, "So I'm gonna guess it's that purple-glowing thing smack dab in the middle of the room, right?"

"I'm pretty sure," Shirou chuckled, scratching at his head. "It sure is weird… This is the first room I saw, in this game."

"Mm, too bad," commented Izaya, and though Shirou gave him a look of silent question, the informant did not clarify.

"Do we just walk up to it?" asked Rin, approaching. The pillar activated, and the silhouette was projected, its arms spread wide.

" _Congratulations!_ " it cried, and Rin glared at it in disapproval, perhaps contempt.

Hide gazed in wonder, following after Rin. "Whoa… are you the mastermind behind all of this?"

" _This is your first items pillar, isn't it? Rin Tohsaka; Hideyoshi Nagachika._ " The silhouette nodded to each of them in turn. They looked at one another.

In the background, Izaya put his hands in his pockets, observing. Kaneki closed his eyes, crossing his arms. Shirou glanced over the other two not addressed by the silhouette before returning to his curious observation of the interaction at hand.

"Hey," said Hide bluntly, "you know our names, but what's yours? Can we get an intro?"

" _I'm a game master,_ " they answered, and they could just barely make out a thin black smile in the static of deep purple. " _Because this is the first time for you two, I will clarify: you may choose_ one _item between the two of you – there will be two items available. You may also choose to ask one question to be answered, but only one. Please note that it's either an item or a question – not both._ "

"Oh, so basically I almost used up our turn with this thing, huh?" said Hide, and Rin nudged him with a meaningful look. "What?"

" _Your selections are now presented to you._ " The silhouette lowered their arms and appeared to put their hands behind their back, a patient nonverbal gesture.

Hide and Rin peered carefully into a holographic grey screen, white lettering accentuating their options – Senji Kiyomasa and Shuu Tsukiyama were in a dulled grey. One name was blacked out; they couldn't read it.

"You should select yours," said Hide, pointing at her 'crystals/heroic spirit' option. "I feel like that's most useful, anyway."

"But maybe your weapon upgrade could help…," she protested, and he laughed a bit.

"Getting so considerate all of a sudden? I knew you cared!"

"Oh, come on," she huffed, and made her selection. Hide shielded his eyes at the bright light following, then tried to squint through it to see what it was that she'd gotten. When the light faded, he could see clearly a single teal jewel in the palm of her hand. He grew mildly concerned at the look of perplexity on her face. After examining the crystal, turning it over and over in her hand, she looked to the silhouette, both questioning and accusatory. "What is this?"

" _That'll heal one person's wounds completely._ " The static image shrugged. " _It's not what you were expecting, but certainly far more useful in your case – you're welcome._ "

Rin thought deeply on this, looking into the teal stone with her lips drawn thin.

" _Hey,_ " said the silhouette, sounding ever so good-natured, " _Now you don't have to deal with your mutilated arm or your ruptured insides, yeah?_ "

Rin made her decision. Turning away from the pillar, she tossed the crystal into the air, pointing a halberd with her fingers to Shirou. "You better be grateful for this," she snipped at his shocked expression.

Hide looked back to the silhouette to catch a glimpse of annoyance etched into its face of static.

After Shirou's broken leg had been mended, his concussion cured, his bruised gut healed, and his cuts and scrapes sealed; he stammered out a, "Wh—why did you _do_ that, Tohsaka-chan? You could have used it!"

"I did use it," she sniffed. Before he could protest again, she added, "You'll be wanting to fight this fight today anyway, won't you? Injured or not, you'd do it for everyone else." She crossed her arms carefully, averting her eyes. "You're stupid like that. So I figure you'd have a better chance if you were—you know, in a better state."

Shirou opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"C'mon, man," grinned Hide. "Say thanks."

"Th…thank you…" She shook her head in mild exasperation as he bowed deeply.

"Aw, an imitation of altruism, how cute," commented Izaya.

"What's that supposed to mean?" frowned Shirou.

The informant shrugged. "'Altruism' doesn't exist, after all… Rin-chan is learning the concept of 'guilt,' or perhaps 'regret.' She wants you, specifically, to be okay. She doesn't want to lose you, that's all."

"Oi…," she said lowly, but Izaya waved her off.

"Don't get me wrong. Even Shirou-kun isn't altruistic. Just because he does things 'for everyone else' doesn't mean he isn't just trying to make up for something." Shirou's brow furrowed as he paled. "Guilt's an incredibly potent thing—isn't it, Kane-kun?"

Kaneki frowned.

"You're just slamming everyone, aren't you?" sighed Hide.

"I've mentioned you need to keep that tongue in check," said Kaneki, giving the informant a meaningful look.

Izaya closed his eyes. "I'm only being honest. We are, by nature, selfish. It counts for me, too. Not only selfish, all this time, but also a coward. Who am I to think I can love somebody from so far away?" The others quieted. "It wasn't a pure love, no – my love for humankind, for example, was _impure_ at best. That's why I'm going to be on the front lines for this one." He smiled thinly, and looked to the static silhouette projected above the items module. "I'd say it's a bold move – the right move. Isn't it, Muse? Or is that not-as-planned?" He snickered. "What are you still sticking around for, anyway?"

" _You have the opportunity to utilize this module, of course._ "

"Oh, not yet," Izaya grinned. "Thanks for the offer, though." He looked around at everyone else. "I take it we're all set for now? Let's head back over. I'd _love_ a cup of coffee. How about it, Kane-kun?"

The other four glanced at one another, but all came to the conclusion to leave. Hide noted that the silhouette – Muse? – didn't appear too thrilled with Izaya's talk. And as the five of them were about to exit the hospital, Izaya found himself being pulled back through the door by Hide himself. "Just a sec," said the bleached-blond boy, and they watched through the windows of the doors as Kaneki, Rin, and Shirou crossed the street.

"What's this about?" asked Izaya, with perhaps just a little bit of a spark of intrigue in his dark eyes.

"I've got a question," Hide answered, and scratched at his cheek. "Sorry for pulling you back and all."

"I've done far worse, Hide-kun, spare your breath. Do explain."

"Well, I figure you've gotta have some idea of what's going on…"

"Yes?"

"Well, I was wondering…" Hide made eye contact, his visage one of importance. "What do you think would happen if Shintaro were to die?"

* * *

Shintaro stirred groggily – he was the only one still asleep. Knowing that he hadn't slept much (if at all) the past few nights, the group had made the agreement to let him rest at least until the items pillar group returned from the hospital and they all began discussing the plans for the day.

It had taken the hikkiNEET awhile to get to sleep – he listened to Seidou get up and leave to do second shift on watch with Kaneki – but by five o'clock he had drifted into a pleasant, dark slumber that offered him only flickering dreams that wouldn't be remembered upon waking – what a relief.

And now, stirring slowly, he opened bleary grey eyes, blinking away fatigue.

"S'about time ya get up."

Eyes flying wide open, Shintaro let out a yelp as he scrabbled backwards and tumbled off the bed. Perched on the head of the bedframe was Seidou, single eye wide. Watching him struggle to untangle himself from his sheets, Seidou scratched at his head with a bored expression while continuing to crouch there at his perch.

"Did I scare ya?"

"Y—ye-e-es…"

"Oh. That's too bad. G'morning."

"Jeez…" Finally, Shintaro sat up, raven hair sticking up every which way.

"Good timing, though," Seidou commented. "I think that the others will be back soon."

"The others? Where'd they go?"

Seidou waved in a vague direction. "'Cross the street. Items pillar. Konoha and Rika are downstairs still." He paused. "And the weird little—whatever."

"Armadillo?"

"Whatever," Seidou repeated.

Shintaro rubbed at one of his eyes, wincing as his arm reminded him it was injured. "What— _time_ is it?"

The half-ghoul's eye narrowed. "Time for you to get your ass up already." After jumping from the head of the bed to the floor, he added, "I'll meet you downstairs. Hurry up."

Bewildered, Shintaro stared after him as he left. It was silent for a few moments. He had yet to gather his bearings. "…Alright, then…" He got up, lifting the sheets and tossing them haphazardly back onto the bed before snatching Ayano's scarf from the bedpost and wrapping it around himself.

By the time he got down the stairs, it wasn't just Seidou, Konoha, and Rika (and the armadillo) waiting for him, but also the five that had gone to look into the items pillar across the street.

"Perfect," Kaneki remarked upon his arrival. "Just in time for breakfast."

Even though conversation was light and friendly throughout their sharing of muffins and toasted rolls (minus Seidou and Kaneki, who couldn't partake); and through the sipping of coffee, tea, and soda; there was a portentous atmosphere thick with the crucial day ahead of them. Shintaro, nervous and feeling slightly claustrophobic with nine people collected in this tiny bakery, kept glancing over at the broken doorframe that acted as their entrance. The sun poured in cheerily, ignorant to their plot, and the door that Seidou had broken was set gently to the side and propped against the far wall. Considering everything, the open space to the outdoors made the NEET a little bit nervous.

Eventually, the moment everyone was waiting for came, and Kaneki called the conversations to an end with his announcement for the commencement of important discussion. It was a quick-falling silence – everyone had been anticipating it.

"As you all know," said Kaneki, "we will be making a move to put the antagonist Yato to rest today. Izaya-san will explain to us what he has in mind. Please speak up if you have any objections or further ideas. We will do this calmly and rationally, please." When no one spoke up, Kaneki gave a nod to the informant, stepping back as Izaya got to his feet.

"Pleasant morning, isn't it, everyone?" Izaya smiled thinly at all of them. Hide grinned and shot a thumbs-up, but no one else seemed particularly thrilled. Shirou, however, offered a weak smile. Suddenly serious, Izaya raised the silver-ringed index finger of his good hand, and began: "I do, of course, understand that I am imposing upon a group that has already been formed and has its own goals to accomplish. I think, in this case, our interests are overlapped. I'm not going to – necessarily – ask you to do anything you don't want to do. I'm not asking you to kill Yato all by yourselves, either…"

Shintaro shifted uncomfortably and sipped at his soda. He knew a little bit from what Izaya had told him the night before, and wasn't all too sure he liked the idea.

"Now, if you wanted to kill him, for whatever reason…" – he eyed Seidou, whose glare sharpened – "…then there is one request I have… I'd like to be the one who takes care of Yato, in the end."

"And how do we reach that point?" frowned Rin.

"A plan would help, wouldn't it?" Izaya flashed a dead smile at her, and her frown deepened. "Not all of you will participate; that's certain. There will be two main groups… Kaneki and Seidou, you two will be facing Yato up-front."

" **And then we weaken him so, what, you can finish him off?** " Seidou looked downright disgusted. " **You've gotta be kidding. We're not here to—** "

"I'm not asking you to do the dirty work, Seidou-kun, believe me," Izaya said, giving a short grimace-sneer. "Yours and Kaneki's job are not to beat him senseless – it's to lure him to the roof of the hospital. I'll mark the spot – I want one of you to smash him down to the basement." He smiled eerily. "Can you manage that?"

Seidou scowled, but Kaneki said, "We can."

"That is, of course, unless you want to lead him to the morgue by the stairwells," Izaya shrugged. "That's fine too—but after he's down there – that's where _I'll_ be – you guys are going to back out. I'll take care of him from there. You two will return to the others and help out."

"Help out with what?" Shirou asked blankly.

"I'm getting there. See, Shirou-kun, you and Konoha still have a job to be had. Undoubtedly, there will be interference with this plan from either A-ya-kun or Yukiteru-kun. There's no question. Yato's not the last guy to look out for, if you remember. That said, everyone else will be on the roof of this building here, preparing to fight whoever the interference is. Konoha and Shirou will be on the front lines, but Rin-chan can help if she wants. Essentially, the goal is to keep everyone safe on this end."

Kaneki seemed mildly surprised. "You wish to be left alone with Yato?"

"Yes. I'll take him on my own, from there."

"But you are injured," Konoha said blankly, tilting his head with distant concern in his expressionless face. "Is that really alright?"

"Of course, if you'll let me," said Izaya. "This is what I think is the best and only way to end Yato…" He averted his gaze from everyone else, then smiled a closed-eye smile. "—And I admit I'm guilty of wanting to settle a bit of a grudge, you know?"

"Can I help?"

It was someone standing in the doorframe that spoke. Everyone froze in their places before turning to look. Yukiteru stood waiting, his hand set gently on the splintered doorframe and a full, friendly smile touching his mouth.


	61. Wall

_"This is what I think is the best and only way to end Yato…" Izaya averted his gaze from everyone else, then smiled a closed-eye smile. "—And I admit I'm guilty of wanting to settle a bit of a grudge, you know?"_

 _"Can I help?"_

 _It was someone standing in the doorframe that spoke. Everyone froze in their places before turning to look. Yukiteru stood waiting, his hand set gently on the splintered doorframe and a full, friendly smile touching his mouth._

"Y-you—" began Rin, but Yukki ignored her, walking casually into the bakery with wide blue eyes scanning the lot of them. Everyone was suddenly on-guard, half of them jumping to their feet in preparation of attack.

"Nice numbers, here. No wonder—Izaya made it after all, I'm glad…"

"Yukiteru-kun," Izaya said lightly, his tone expressing his attempt to defuse the situation. "I see you've made your decision?"

"What decision?" asked Shirou.

" **Can I eat him?** " asked Seidou.

"Oh my god— _no_ ," snipped Shintaro.

"Why, is he tasty?" asked Konoha.

" _No!_ " hissed the NEET.

"If I may," said Kaneki, silencing the murmurs rippling throughout the group, "…what would you like with us?"

"Oh!" Yukiteru spoke brightly. "I was wondering if I could help out – you know, since I have a score to settle with Yato too, and all. Oh—right." He turned to Rin and Hide, and bowed before smiling sheepishly at them. "I kinda messed up. Sorry about all that…"

"Kinda— _messed up_ …?" Rin was trembling with rage.

"It was really, truly an accident with Shinichi… wasn't it, Rika-chan?" He looked to the ten-year-old imploringly. "I was a little panicked… And then, hearing more people besides, I stopped thinking, and I… Again, sorry. You and Rin both are still injured pretty bad, I bet… In fact, I'd understand if I weren't allowed here—"

"You're a _liar_!" snapped Rin. "You killed Shinichi, and then tried to kill me! If Hide hadn't been there—!"

"No," said Rika, quiet but firm. The rest looked at her. "I was there. Shinichi was someone Yukiteru looked up to, for he had protected Yukiteru's group sometime earlier in the game. He and I were in the midst of an argument, and it was so soon after Yato had slaughtered the rest of our groupmates that—well, he was unstable at the time… and shot blindly into the haze when he heard someone coming. It was unfortunate circumstances that ended Shinichi's life. Having said this, he didn't know… what to do. Since then, I don't know…" She looked down at Kincho, who had poked his head up out of her arms. She released him, and he tentatively hopped to the floor and approached Yukiteru, wary.

"He found me after the whole fiasco, actually," said Izaya, turning everyone's attention to him. "I had to talk him out of killing me." The informant gave a short, hollow laugh at this. "But by the end, he had calmed down considerably. Last I'd seen him, he was heading back to the house where his teammates perished – _you_ know, Rika. Said he wanted to find answers there."

"And what," said Kaneki, "are the answers you found, Yukiteru?"

The fourteen-year-old smiled weakly at the half-ghoul. "I found that I was going about it all wrong… Izaya was right, after all – I can't save anyone by joining them in the dark. In my fear, I almost fell victim to the very paranoia that ended my original group… and someone died because of it. Beyond that, I almost became exactly what I feared in the process. I found that this wasn't what I wanted – so that's why I'm here."

" **So I really can't eat him?** " said Seidou. Shintaro facepalmed, groaning.

"I still don't trust this," scowled Rin. "We don't need any more sketchy teammates! We already have the one who killed Senji here—"

" _Tohsaka-chan!_ " Shirou cried.

Seidou stood up, looking down on Rin. " _ **What was that?**_ "

"Not to mention Roppi," Kaneki said calmly, and Seidou immediately quieted.

"Calm down, will you?" Shintaro whispered to Seidou, glancing over at the trembling Konoha. Slowly, Seidou sat down again.

"Sorry about all that," smiled Hide warmly, and Yukiteru cast him a nervous look. "I remember – you looked like you were hurting a lot back then… I was kinda worried, too. I'm glad you came around."

"Ah—thank you." He scratched at his hair, sticking out at the side. "I almost made the wrong choice."

"But you didn't," said Rika, glowing with hope. Yukiteru blinked and looked down to see Kincho sniffing at him. The armadillo looked up at him, got up on its hind legs, and pawed at his cloak. Distractedly, he picked him up.

"Then—is he part of the group, now?" asked Shintaro.

"If Kane-kun says so," shrugged Izaya.

Konoha looked at Kaneki. "A new friend?"

Everyone looked at Kaneki, who ran a hand through his white hair, breathing deeply. Looking around at everyone else, Seidou and Rin were the only ones who seemed to be in disagreement. He caught the eye of Rika, who gave him a hopeful look that implied she did trust him. He caught the eye of Izaya, who only smiled at him.

Kaneki sighed. "That makes ten of us." He smiled warmly at Yukiteru, who beamed back, looking relieved. "Welcome, Yukiteru. It's nice to properly meet you – I don't think our paths have yet crossed in this game. Perhaps introductions are due?"

Hide, Shirou, Konoha, and Shintaro all introduced themselves (Seidou was introduced by Shintaro), and Kaneki prompted the discussion to continue. "Right, so Izaya-san was telling all of us his idea to fighting Yato." The half-ghoul looked at Izaya, who clapped his hands together.

"Slight change of plans!" said the informant. "You want to partake, Yukki?"

Yukiteru blinked. "Um? Oh, yeah." He had settled himself beside Rika and Hide, Kincho in his lap.

"Then here's what we'll do: Yukki will help Shirou and Konoha with the guarding over here."

Rin turned to glare pointedly at Yukiteru, but he gave her a smile that made the hairs on her neck stand on end. It must have been gone as soon as it had appeared, because then he was playing innocently with Kincho again. Had she imagined it? Swallowing nervously, she turned back to Izaya, glancing back at Yukki every so often.

"Shintaro, Rika, Hide, and Rin will be among those here, of course," Izaya continued. "It's a pretty simple guideline. I think I can trust you guys to fight without strict plans. Kaneki and Seidou can collaborate, hopefully, and Shirou can be in charge over here."

Shirou nodded stiffly.

"Hey, Izaya," said Shintaro. His voice was surprisingly firm. Izaya looked at him in acknowledgment. "Why do you think you've got the best and only way to end Yato? Explain." And he leaned back in his chair, as though he'd made his point.

Izaya blinked, surprised. "Well, think about it. This game is entertainment, for one thing, but also… it seems like everything has to fit together in a specific, perfect way. I have a special kind of association with Yato, see… He and I were in the same group from the beginning, he was the one to cut my ties, and so on… We're what you'd call 'rivals,' for simplicity's sake. If I'm labelled as his true 'rival' in this game, then either he kills me or I kill him. It wouldn't make symbolic sense if, say, Seidou-san were to try and kill him, because what are they to one another?"

"Fox and hound?" suggested Yukiteru, and Seidou scowled disagreeably at him. Yukki smiled apologetically.

"Yes," said Izaya, "and that's not a good enough reason to kill an antagonist that has become so important to this game. How many people has he killed? He's of the greatest monsters on this field… Not to mention, he follows the trope of having 'fallen from grace,' and god or not, his wrongs will come crashing down on him. Because he blames me for his downfall, and because I admit that I have helped push him to this place he's at… it's me who will bring him that karma."

"Self-righteous much?" uttered Rin.

"This is a game of choices, Rin-chan," said Izaya coolly. "Think about it: those who progress in their development are typically rewarded. Those who regress are punished."

"Wait…" Shintaro had pressed his fingertips to his forehead, thinking deeply. "'Crashing down'… Someone said that. Roppi, no, that game master he'd met. He'd met up with a game master named Seraph, and she'd said something like that. It was about getting Seidou's free will back. She said that once the choice was his and he wasn't being puppeteered, then if he made the wrong choice, his sins would come crashing down on him—or at least, that's what Roppi reported she said…"

" **Wait, what?** " Seidou was giving Shintaro an irritated look that only festered when the NEET didn't further explain.

"That is," said Kaneki, "the game masters are directing the outcomes within these games to match patterns – to become more like entertainment."

"Like a movie," piped in Hide. "Right?"

"But that also means that some antagonists are being forced by the game masters to do what they are," said Shirou. "Can't we…?"

"We don't know whether the possessed kid and Yato are being controlled or not, though," said Rin.

"I believe Yato is under the influence of the game masters," said Rika. "And… I believe A-ya is, too."

"If you get too close to the answer behind these games," said Izaya with a knowing smile, "you're led astray. That's what happened to A-ya-kun, and also what began to happen to me. A-ya-kun preached from the very beginning that this game was fake and the best thing to do was not to fight anybody, isn't that right, Yukki?"

Yukiteru nodded. "It is… Those views didn't shift until… after he'd been possessed."

"Meaning the lure of a demon's wish-granting was what did him in," said Hide, wide-eyed. "Crazy."

"And that was the game masters, after all…" Shintaro ran a hand through his hair. "It was them who brought Kuroha back, even though Tsukiyama had killed him."

Kaneki closed his eyes. Hide looked enlightened.

"And that happened," said Konoha quietly, "because I woke up again…"

"I-it's not your fault, Konoha," said Shintaro quickly. "It was just—just a drawback of bringing someone back to life, and… and that was something _I_ chose to accept…"

"It's not your fault either, Shintaro," said Kaneki calmly.

"The work of the masters," agreed Rika.

"But wait," said Shirou, "was Yato close to figuring it out, then?"

Izaya shrugged. "No; I was. My goal from the beginning had been an ultimate alliance, but… Well, no, the point is he was not. Or if he was figuring it out, he didn't voice it at all. Granted, he was a peacemaker and was on the way to being a god of fortune… with the help of Yukine. It was after Yukine died that everything went downhill. These games stole precious people from him, and that was what determined his path to destruction, I think. By the time he could have started making amends, the masters just kept leading him astray."

"Mm, Izaya…," said Yukiteru thoughtfully. "You mentioned how everything has to fit together just so, right? What was it, making 'symbolic sense'?"

"I suppose so," said the informant.

"Symbolism, huh." The fourteen-year-old kind of smirked. "That's one of the game masters, you know. Symbolism. What do you think that means?"

"The one that talked to Roppi, then?" said Shirou confusedly.

Shintaro shook his head. "No… I feel like it was the one that fixed up my phone walkie-talkies, remember that?"

His gold-brown eyes widened. "The golden sparks, and all that?"

"Yeah."

"So I guess that guy's actually pretty nice, huh?" remarked Hide, scratching at his cheek.

"Not all the game masters are for the game," said Shintaro. "So it stands to reason… Well, I mean, uh, yeah, he's one of the ones who doesn't approve."

"Seraph, too," said Kaneki, holding his chin.

"Muse is the one to look out for," said Yukiteru. "That's the one running the show… There's supposedly seven game masters, and eight of us who can make it to the end."

An uncomfortable feeling settled. "Only eight of us—can make it?" repeated Shintaro.

"I think that there are eight game masters, then," said Izaya, holding up a finger. "And each of them has their own jurisdiction of the game field. We know about four – the items master who is symbolism; Rodd, representative of time, who has visited Yukiteru; he unspecified Seraph; and the mastermind, Muse."

"There is also the tall, bald one," said Rika. "He was waiting for us at the end of our game, when it ended."

"That's five!" chirped the informant.

"What makes you think there are eight rather than seven, Izaya?" said Kaneki.

"And where'd Yukiteru get the info about it?" added Hide.

"I met a game master once – the items master," Yukiteru said mildly. "Shintaro has too, I think."

Shintaro nodded with a weak smile.

" **When did** _ **that**_ **happen?** " uttered Seidou, but Shintaro waved at him with a gesture that said 'later.'

"And as for me," said Izaya, "I just feel like it would make sense for there to be eight game masters, one corresponding to each of the 'winners'… if eight are supposed to make it. If the game masters are already secretive, and there's already conflict among them… it wouldn't be too far-fetched to consider there being one more game master to complete the pattern of eight. Perhaps a traitor, or someone even that items master isn't allowed to tell about. Of course… I can't take credit for these ideas – these are thoughts jotted down by the missing Aru Akise who apparently disappeared after Yato's slaughter of his group. Note that this person also jotted down something he called 'the unspoken rule,' which basically states that if you find out the truth of the game and express it explicitly, _you will die._ Anyone who comes close is led astray – A-ya-kun, for example, or myself."

"And I was harrowed," said Shintaro. "That might count…"

Izaya nodded. "But I think that Akise had it figured out, and he's now missing. Granted, he was an anomaly himself, never having a group to his name and showing up in an odd spot on the playing field… and so on. But just before he could solve the mystery, he disappears into thin air. Now. More important is the case of L Lawliet."

Yukiteru and Rika both straightened. Rika glanced to Yukki, but he didn't look back.

"I'm sorry, would it be alright if one of you explained?" said the informant. "He was in your group when still alive."

"L was… well." Yukiteru paused to gather his thoughts. "He was very smart, and he'd picked up a hint that A-ya had given about how one of the game masters was symbolism. And then… that's right. He put something together and started talking about the truth, and—and that's when Yato came out of nowhere slashed him over the chest." He looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, that's right… Huh, I _do_ remember Akise bringing that up with me, at some point…"

"He told me what it was he realized," said Rika. She stared at her fingers, folded together neatly in her lap. "I mentioned it to Akise, but never told him directly what it was L said to me. I thought, perhaps, that it would mean the end of me."

"With this many people around, maybe it's safe?" suggested Hide.

"I doubt the game masters would try to wipe anyone out if she tells nine other people," agreed Shintaro scratching at his head. "When you only manage to tell one person, that's one thing, but… like, what would be the point?"

"And," said Kaneki, "it would be rather hard to justify in these circumstances… Konoha, listen for any intruders."

Konoha listened, blinked, and shook his head. "No one nearby."

"Now they can't go and be like, 'hey, sorry, here comes Yato,'" Hide said, approving.

Rika smiled timidly but gratefully. "Well… It's actually quite simple. Think about it – this is entertainment… but don't think of it like a movie, but like—like a _story_."

"A _story_?" repeated Rin. "Like, any kind of story, or like a book?"

"But they're watching it on a screen," said Yukiteru blankly.

"I suppose it can be any medium," said Rika patiently. "But imagine someone were writing out the transcript for something… or were writing something like a book."

"Oh, man, that's Kaneki's forte, not mine," said Hide, and he beamed at his friend. "Hey, that means you're the expert."

Kaneki had his hand to his chin. "A story… But then…?" Kaneki decided he wanted to see if he could make his words communicate without quotation marks, and explained to the others that that was his intention.

"But how would we know?" said Shintaro.

Kaneki agreed that this was a good point. He quit that idea, unsure whether he felt any different. "If we were actually being typed out, then," said Kaneki, "then that would mean we're nothing but characters, aren't we? Pieces of a story? Oh—I wonder if I could change paragraphs if I wanted…

"Do you think? Oh, I wouldn't be able to tell, that's right…"

"I think that's the kicker," said Hide, scratching at the back of his head.

Seidou rolled his eyes. " **Why're you so excited, Kaneki?** "

"I'm… not necessarily _excited…_ " He touched his chin. "I wonder if I can speak in **bold** _ **.**_ What about _italics?_ Underlined? I wish I could tell…"

"C'mon," said Hide, "he just found out it might actually be in an _actual story_. This is the bookiest of bookworms we're talking about here."

"But if we're from stories," said Shintaro, "and we're all – actually – from different realms, how did we end up here? Or—maybe… it's that we came from stories, too…?"

"Is it that we don't exist?" asked Konoha, his voice small.

"Don't be ridiculous!" said Izaya. "We're all solid, aren't we?"

"We are to each other," uttered Kaneki.

"Does that make—the game masters, more _real_ than us?" asked Yukki.

"It explains how they can bring in demons and gods alike into this game, and even place limitations," said Shintaro, paling. "Because even if Yato is a god, for example—they'd still technically be his _god_ , if they're—they're our creators…"

"So basically, all of this is for nothing," said Rin, voice taut.

"It—it's not for _nothing_ ," argued Shirou.

"That's right, it isn't," said Yukiteru. "Because we're gonna win this game, aren't we?" Everyone looked at him but Rika, who had her eyes closed, head bowed. "We're playing a game with god, then, right? Or something like that." He flashed a confident smile. "So we'll become our _own_ gods when we reach the end. Think of it that way!"

" **Our own gods… hah…** "

"Is that legal?" asked Konoha.

"It's not a question of 'legal,' Konoha," sighed Shintaro.

"We _were_ offered a prize at the end," Izaya spoke slowly. He seemed to be still wrapping his mind around the idea. He didn't seem to like it. "Could it be… that our prize at the end, is existence?"

Rika opened her eyes. "But will we truly receive?"

" **God's a liar, y'know,** " spat Seidou.

"Stop calling them _gods_ , already!" snapped Izaya. "They are _not_ our gods if you don't believe in them. We have agency. We will _show_ them we have a will of our own."

Shintaro stood abruptly. "If we can sever Seidou's puppet strings – if he now has the right to choose, then that means that we can choose, too. This is a game of choice, so it has to count for _something_! It has to…"

"You're right," said Kaneki. "Shintaro-kun… Izaya-san. There has to be a point – for this to be a proper story, anyway… And for that, there needs to be a theme. Now, if it's a tragedy, that's all well and good, but…" Everyone was glancing around at one another uneasily at this. "But what we need to find, then, is the ideal _ending_. We need to fabricate a conclusion…"

"Like A-ya used to say!" exclaimed Yukki, straightening up. Kincho jumped in his lap, squeaking. "It had to do with Schrodinger's cat—oh, what was it…? This game wouldn't even be happening if no one were watching it – it wouldn't be played, and there wouldn't be an ending. But—but the game masters already 'know' the end—and it's _their_ notion of that end which we internalize and start believing ourselves. That's the repeating tragedy we have on our hands. It's the reason this game has happened so many times!"

"Repeating tragedy…," echoed Rika.

"So in order to beat this preconceived ending," said Hide, cocking an eyebrow, "we've got to, what, break the fourth wall?"

" _Saiko_ did that!" Shintaro cried, raising a pointed index finger. "She said she knew about Yato from a television show!"

"B-but Saiko… didn't she…?" Konoha was trembling, staring at Shintaro with furrowed brow.

" **Pretty sure Yato killed her,** " confirmed Seidou.

"Then could that be connected to that unspoken rule Izaya mentioned?" said Hide.

"Oh, no…" Shintaro sat back down, burying his face in his hands. "I get it; I get it…" He smartly decided not to voice exactly what it was he understood.

"So the point is that we've gotta break this tragedy trope," said Hide, holding up his hands as if it would help everyone chill. "And—'Neki, can't you figure out some possible jurisdictions of the masters, then? You _love_ literature, right? We've got time and symbolism, what else could there be?"

Kaneki thought about this. "Something like—plot? Setting? Theme, mood, tone? Conflict, characterization? A narrator?"

"So, this'll be fun to narrow down," sighed Rin.

"I think that most important," said Shirou, "is whatever Muse is… They're running the show, right? So if we know what we're up against, then…"

"What sorts of things can each of these game masters do?" asked Hide.

"It's specified to each of them," said Yukiteru.

"Then, someone like Rodd the time guy," said Shintaro, raising his head, "would do all the time-related items… like fastforward and rewind… And he'd be the one that resets, right?"

Yukiteru was nodding.

Seidou clicked his tongue. " **I think it's pointless to figure that out** _ **now**_ **. It's just guesswork** ," he grumbled. " **That's something we should deal with as we come across 'em, y'know.** "

"There's no way to properly prepare," Shintaro agreed soberly.

"But hey, now we _kinda_ know what we're gonna be up against," said Hide.

"But that's still _after_ the plan we've got going now," added Shirou.

" **And we don't even know who's gonna make it outta this one,** " said Seidou in an offhanded sort of way.

"Don't remind me," Shintaro groaned.

" **It's true.** "

"Speaking of which," said Hide, raising a hand up, "wait a sec. Izaya, I've got a question about – you know, the imminent plot."

"Yes, Hide-kun?"

"Well, we're supposed to take on whatever comes our way over here, right?"

"Yes."

"And Kaneki and Takizawa are supposed to lure Yato to the hospital, and slam dunk 'im into the basement, right?"

"Yes."

"And… you wanna take him by yourself? 'Neki and Takizawa come back to our side?"

"That's right."

"Dude, isn't that—kinda dangerous?"

"I'll manage," Izaya smiled thinly.

"But _Izaya_ ," piped up Shintaro, who had also not achieved an explanation the night before, "how do you expect to do that on your own? Konoha's right – you're _injured._ Even if you've got that spirit-killing sword there, do you really think you can take him?"

"Mm," said Yukki agreeably, "we don't want Izaya dead."

" **I don't think I'd mind** ," commented Seidou.

"Shintaro-kun has a point," said Kaneki, coming up at Izaya's side after shooting Seidou a look. "If that sword's your bargain… well. How did you fare last time with Yato?"

Izaya clicked his tongue, annoyed. "The Prophet's not my only gamble," he snipped. "I'm not _that_ foolish."

"Then what?" Shintaro shot back. "Because you've got symbolic reasons to be able to take him down? Using the mechanisms of the game masters is too soft a science… Seidou's right on that one; it's guesswork. So you can't bet on that, either."

"I know that." Izaya's voice was level, but he still looked a tad irritated.

"You're gonna have to be a little more convincing, then, Izaya-san," said Hide.

"Well—Shirou-kun, you have that 'copycat' ability and all, right?"

Shirou looked rather taken aback. "Well, if you call it that…"

"You can copy any weapon, right?"

"That's… right," he said cautiously. The redhead paused. "Well, that is—I haven't come across anything yet that I can't."

"Well, let's see…"

Izaya fingered his fur-trimmed jacket, zipped up all the way, then lifted the bottom of it. Kaneki understood immediately when the informant took the thing from his belt and held it up. Touching his chin, the half-ghoul uttered, "Oh, that's it, is it…?"

"Shirou-kun," Izaya smiled, "how many copies do you suppose you can make of a grenade?"


	62. Unlock

"Are we ready yet?" Greyson stood with their weight shifted to one side, watching dully through green-rimmed spectacles while Rainbow scuttled around making sure they had everything.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"In a minute."

Greyson released a long, slow sigh, then checked the time on their watch. Their eyes flickered. They didn't know why they always checked the time – their watch never changed from 12:30. "I think I need a new watch," Grey commented mildly.

"Why?" asked Rainbow distractedly, checking under the sheets of their bed to see if perhaps there was something they wanted to bring hiding under there.

"It's been broke."

"Since when?"

"12:30, apparently."

"Just today?"

"For a while, actually…"

"Mm."

Grey clicked their tongue. Obviously their watch was the least of Rainbow's concerns. Eyes clouding, Grey examined their watch again. Then they shrugged it off. "You don't need your laptop, Rain," they frowned, eyeing Rainbow, who was fingering their laptop thoughtfully.

"You know—just in case—"

Grey laughed a bit, strained. "You _don't_ _need it_ , Rainbow," they said with a note of exasperation. "We're going _outside_ – why would we need it?"

"Mm, I don't want it to get damaged, that's a good point," Rainbow mused, and Grey drew their lips into a thin line.

"You're helpless."

"Wow." Rainbow shot a sour expression at Grey. "I know."

Grey was silent for a moment. Then they ran a hand through their silver hair, closing their eyes. "It's okay. We both are."

"True," Rainbow conceded, and headed right out of the room and into the hallway.

Grey furrowed their brow. "That's not the exit," they called, and Rainbow answered, "I know! Stay there, I'll be right back!"

Grey sighed again, looked at their broken watch, shook their head, and stuffed their hands in the pockets of their vest. Despite their irritation, they chose to do as they were told.

In the hallway, Rainbow traversed on tiptoes of Converse sneakers, stopping only once they had reached the door to the cell of their captive. That is, the door that concealed Rainbow's "pet." Tentatively, Rainbow opened the door to the dark room inside. The breakfast they'd left him earlier had been sort of picked at before being discarded, and Rainbow looked at this with some disappointment. "Hey, there…" They paused, adopting an almost motherly tone. "Greyson and I are going out, now, so… Yes, that's right, out of the tower." Rainbow paused again. "So—well—I'm gonna let you out. Yes, that's right, don't look so smugly surprised— _god_. …Of course there's a little bit of risk for me – don't _worry_ about it. It's fine. Don't tell anyone it was me, okay? You take care of yourself…"

Rainbow hesitated, then looked around, as if to make sure no one was looking. "In that case—uh, the exit is _not_ through the tunnel beyond the door opposite the room just next door. _Okay?_ " Feeling as though they'd made it obvious enough, they added, "I'm gonna _casually_ _forget_ to lock the door, now." And they closed the metal door. When it was open just a crack, Rainbow spoke once more, quiet and serious: "Just wait a little, until after we're gone, okay? _Good luck._ " And the door was closed with a _click._

Rainbow then scampered off to Greyson. "Just wanted to check on him—must be so _boring_ in there."

Grey grunted, hooking arms with Rainbow and leading them through the doors to the tunnel.

"The final eight are supposed to find this passage, huh? Don't think they'll just blow shit up again?"

"I know what you just did, Rain," said Grey, and Rainbow stared. Grey smirked. "I'm proud."

Rainbow blinked. "Um… thanks?" They tried to sound as innocent as possible.

"And uh, I dunno whether they'll find it well or not," Grey admitted, going back to the topic Rain had tried to bring up. "But Minene's not involved. So." They shrugged shortly, and Rainbow pulled from their arm.

"You think this is fine? We haven't been outside in forever."

"It's not like it'll kill us."

"I _know_ , but… I'm just saying I'm perfectly okay with being a shut-in."

"You were the one that _suggested_ —"

"I know. I know." Rain drew closer to the side of the tunnel, running their fingers along the cement surface, smooth save for the ridges that divided the slabs. It had sloped downward for some time, but it began to even out here. The lights were yet fluorescent, a thin line of white shining down the top-middle of the underground path they tread. As the ground started sloping up again, the lights got dimmer; yellower. All through this, the two game masters walked in a silence only disturbed by the soft hum of electricity and their echoing footsteps.

"Wait," said Rain, voice lowered, "they can't see us, right?"

"The players?"

"Yeah."

"I dunno." Greyson seemed amused by Rain's look. "I guess we'll find out."

They were nearing the end now. The ground sloped up sharply before they reached a metal barrier. Rainbow watched with wide, child-like eyes as Greyson slid this barrier to the side by its handle – a door to the game field. Rainbow stepped out first, trying to take it all in while Grey followed behind in shared awe. They'd walked out into a room of carcasses, splayed every which way, ripped apart in varying states of mutilation. There was a long row of tables for the bodies. The lights flickered overhead. It was the morgue.

"Do you know what?" said Rainbow. "I don't think I remember— _ever_ leaving the tower… Do you?"

Grey hesitated – if they had an answer, they didn't have the chance to voice it; for as they opened their mouth, a solid explosion went off above them, rocking the building above. " _Look out!_ "

Shoving Rainbow to the side, Grey narrowly missed getting hit themselves by the old fluorescent light that came crashing down from the ceiling. In the sudden force, the two of them had toppled to the ground, Grey over Rain. Rainbow shuddered, speechless.

Greyson's face was one of urgency, eyes searching the face of the other. " _Ty, are you okay?_ "

Rainbow looked up into Greyson's visage, a stillness coming over them. Their trembling ceased, but they looked distinctly puzzled.

"Who's Ty?" they asked.

Grey stared. They didn't know, either. "I…"

"Ohh, that was cool – your _eyes,_ Grey! I swear it; for a second, they were green!"

They shook their head. "Probably a trick of the light—my glasses," they said gruffly, getting up and holding out a hand to Rainbow.

"It was a _pretty_ trick," commented Rain, accepting their hand and cheerily giving Grey a peck on the lips.

"Let's get going," they grumbled, taking off the glasses and wiping them off. "Who knows what kinda shit they're doing up there…"

* * *

"You know that Rainbow and Greyson left, don't you?" inquired Rodd, pushing his orange-rimmed spectacles up on his face. "What could they be up to?"

"They just want to have an adventure," Muse answered, apparently unconcerned. Their eyes were fixed to the screens as they twiddled their fingers idly. "They want to – _meet_ the players, that's all."

"And what about your rule about not interacting with the players in-game?"

"Oh, they won't do anything too drastic. Knowing them, they'll try to stay at least somewhat hidden…"

Rodd watched Muse for a little while without expression, his violet eyes as wide and blank as ever. "If you say so," he said eventually.

"Look at them having their existential crises," Muse said mildly, snickering with cold humor. "How fun! Don't you think?"

"I guess so," Rodd said indifferently, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"What do you think Yukiteru's thinking?"

"Not sure."

"How do you think this'll go?"

"Uh…"

Muse whirled around in their swivel chair, violet eyes alight with focused ecstasy. They leaned forward, towards Rodd. "Anything else to report, then, Rodd?" they grinned.

Rodd shifted his weight from one side to the other. "…They let the captive go. Should I lock the door before he gets out?"

Muse clapped their hands together, laughing childishly. "No, no, not to worry! Come what may, he can be the one that greets whoever makes it outta this one~ You can arrange that the timing is perfect, of course?"

He pushed his glasses up on his face. "…Of course. I can handle that, easy." He smirked at Muse. "Got anything more interesting for me to do?"

Muse waved their hand. "Not particularly. Just make sure that when everyone collides, the two main skirmishes tie together well, of course…"

"What's Aureus got to say about all of this?"

Muse laughed heartily. "He's not too pleased, I imagine…" – they clasped their hands together in sudden mockery – "… _Oh, jeez, please please please be okay, Shirou~ Muse better not let him die, or I'll kick their_ butt!" And Muse erupted into cackles again. "You'd think he _fancies_ Shirou Emiya! But he told me, he says he couldn't stand Rin Tohsaka dying before Shirou. Hah! To think! Not to mention, he's also bargaining on Yato making it, Kaneki, Shintaro, Yukiteru, Hide, and Konoha…" Muse was counting these people on their fingers as they went. "Well, that _is_ eight, I can't blame him!"

"Is he planning to interfere, do you think?" Rodd was impassive as ever.

"Oh, probably not. He _hates_ Izaya, so I'm sure he's absolutely _thrilled_ that Izaya's going on what's essentially a suicide mission – _willingly!_ " Muse began to laugh again, but stopped abruptly. "No, no, you're absolutely right… Aureus doesn't wish death upon _anybody_ , does he? Though he doesn't want Izaya to make it… Silly Aureus… Indeed, silly Aureus…" Muse closed their eyes. "He'll only have a symbolic hand in this one, I expect – unless Rin dies, of course. Mostly, he'll watch how it plays out. I think he just wants to know who makes it, that's right."

"Well, if you say so…" Rodd and Aureus never did get along very well. "I guess it's better he's in that hatch, huh?"

"Mm, he's there for a reason."

"And what of Seraph?"

"Oh, what can _she_ do?" Smiling smugly, Muse chuckled. " _Yato, Yato, I know this doesn't make much sense, but you_ can't kill people _like that! You boob, you're going to_ die! _What about Yukine?_ " They laughed derisively. "I mean, she could try to force an epiphany on someone; have them realize the wrong of their ways, or end up saving themselves some other way – or save somebody else, depending. But I have the power to veto _that_ ability, so…" Muse shrugged. "No reason being worried about it."

"Well, that's good." Rodd raised his eyebrows. "And Durden is… still with Yato and Nora, I presume?"

"That's right." Smiling dreamily, Muse turned back to the screens. "Soon, we'll just see whether this is the _end_ … It doesn't _have_ to be, you know…"

"With me around, you can't ever run out of time."

Muse faltered. "You're right," they conceded. There was a quiet that settled over the two of them. Muse leaned forward, almost slumping over the control panel in front of them. Eyes gazed empty into a screen displaying the grenade tests the largest player group was performing. "Thank you," they said eventually, and Rodd tipped his hat, silent, before backing out of the room.

* * *

Durden smiled up at the sky, running a hand over his smooth scalp. "Weather's nice today," he remarked. "But I've got a stinging suspicion it's gonna rain soon." He paused, listening to a distant crash. "Oh – is that thunder?" And he began to laugh.

Sitting on the edge of the shrine opposite Durden was Yato, cerulean eyes flickering at the far-off noise. "Explosions," he said.

"Wonder what they're up to," commented Nora softly, toying with a string that had fallen from Yato's torn tracksuit jacket. She looked up at her master as he got to his feet. "Mm?" She tilted her head. "Yato?"

"I'm healed enough. We should head out."

She looked up at him for a bit, though he didn't look back at her. She looked at her string, then tossed it to the side, getting up herself. The spirit hesitated, if slightly, at the game master lurking in the corner of her eye. Turning to look, she saw Durden eyeing her with a cruel smirk curling his mouth.

"I'm waiting for you to show me," he said. "You know, what you really care about."

Nora narrowed her eyes just slightly. Yato didn't appear to notice the presence of Durden. "Let's go, then," she said to Yato, and with a curt nod, he started out, Nora at his side. They would not teleport – too much energy wasted. Instead, they leapt into the air, going from rooftop to rooftop towards the group waiting for them.

 _Yato is healed now. It will go well,_ Nora thought, but even she couldn't help feeling a twinge of unease in her chest.

* * *

Hide sat alone at the edge of his bed, rummaging through the medical bag that originally belonged to Tsuki. Not that he necessarily knew that. "Good thing," he uttered. "Yeah, these come in real handy…" He pulled out two of the walkie-talkies that Shintaro had put together when they were on the mission to harrow Seidou. "Alright, alright…"

Everyone had gone over to the hospital to test out one of the copied grenades – just to make sure that Shirou could copy them well, and also to test out how strong the structure of the building was. Shintaro and Izaya had teamed up to figure out how many they needed and how to make them all go off like Izaya wanted them to. From what Hide gathered, Izaya was literally making a go at burying himself and Yato in the basement. It was more than dangerous, Hide almost suspected that Izaya _expected_ to die. Well.

Shintaro was left with Konoha, Seidou, and Shirou to make the placements, which was where they were now. Kaneki had started discussing with Rin, Rika, and Hide what it would be like in their positions, and how they must absolutely remain safe at all costs (Hide was pretty sure his best buddy didn't want to lose him in particular), but Hide had ducked out of the last of it because he'd overheard Yukiteru requesting to speak with Izaya alone.

So the bleached-blond boy had slipped upstairs, exclaiming that he'd left the medical bag in his room – which he _had_ , but really it was more an excuse to get up there on his own. Both Izaya and Yukiteru were new members of this group, and both of them were admittedly suspicious. Might as well be safe about it. Considering, you know, this _was_ still a death game.

He pulled out some surgical tape and shrugged, uttering, "This'll do," before wrapping it tightly around the little push-to-talk button. The other walkie-talkie crackled to life as it received the static from the one wrapped with surgical tape. It was around now that Hide heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Hastily, he dropped the taped talkie to the ground and kicked it under the bed before shoving the other back into the medical bag, slinging the satchel over his shoulder and taking a deep breath.

He stepped out of the room with a big grin on his face. "Hey, guys!" There were Yukiteru and Izaya just entering the upstairs hallway. It was kinda funny looking at them, if only because Yukki looked terribly like a little kid next to Izaya Orihara. Izaya was only a couple centimeters or so taller than Hide, but Yukiteru was probably ten centimeters smaller than himself.

"Oh, hi, Hide," smiled Yukki.

"Ah, Hide-kun," said Izaya, "we were just coming up here to chat. I do think Kane-kun's waiting for you outside, however."

"Ah, shoot." Hide ran a hand through his hair. "Well—you guys can use my room if you want. I just cleaned it out." He patted the medical bag. "All set. See you guys soon, then!" With that, Hide hopped down the stairs.

"Alright – oh, thanks, Hide!" Yukki called after him. The fourteen-year-old paused. "I feel bad; I _did_ try to kill him… I hope he's not mad… Do you think?"

"Don't think too hard on it," Izaya advised, and they entered the room Hide had offered.


	63. Unseen

"There's a thing!" Rainbow pointed excitedly at the lobby down the hall from where they'd emerged from the basement. Greyson blinked, adjusting their glasses. "Shintaro and Seidou are over there!"

"And Shirou," added Grey. "And _Konoha_."

"Yeah." Rain sounded rather distracted. Grey crossed their arms over their chest.

"Konoha was so important to you just a few days ago. Did I miss something?"

"What? No." Rainbow brought a hand to their chest. "He's still important. Very important. _Precious child…_ "

Grey rolled their eyes. "Let's go."

They made their way down the hall, then, with Greyson walking at a measured pace and Rainbow shuffling forward in anticipation. "They're 3-D, Grey. _3-D._ "

Grey picked at their ear. "Yeah." They froze, however, when Shintaro looked up from his work with mapping out the ground and looked, puzzled, in their direction. Squeaking, Rainbow quickly grasped at Grey's arm. Shintaro looked even more bewildered, rubbing at his eyes.

"Guys," said the NEET, "I might be going nuts."

" **Took you long enough,** " uttered Seidou.

"Well, hey," said Shirou good-naturedly, "if you've made it this far, I say that's pretty good."

"No—like, I just saw somebody—like, right over there…"

"I do not see anyone," said Konoha.

"Yeah, they—they _disappeared._ "

"Disappeared?" repeated the android.

"What if this place is—is _haunted_ …?" Shintaro said faintly. "Oh, God…"

Seidou scoffed. " **I saw somethin',** " he admitted. " **Dunno what, though. Not a ghost, though. That's stupid.** "

"It's not _stupid_ ," said Shirou.

"There are a _lot_ of dead people here," said Shintaro in a small voice, pulling the red scarf up a bit more over his face. "Lots of possibilities, y'know…"

"It couldn't have been a game master, could it?" asked Shirou tentatively.

"Oh," said Konoha.

"Maybe," mumbled Shintaro.

" **Little fuckin' coward, keepin' outta sight…,** " Seidou growled.

By then, Rainbow and Greyson were slipping, unseen, out of the hospital and into the street. They were holding hands, Rainbow holding on a bit tighter than was normal. "They could only see one of us," said Rain. "Don't know _why_ …"

"Probably you," said Grey.

" _Why?_ "

"Shintaro and Seidou? Um… They were both harrowed, weren't they?" They adjusted their green-rimmed glasses with their free hand. "And then purified. You're the one that fixes that… You know – connections and bonds and shit?"

"Then how come they can't see _you_?" Rain huffed.

Grey shrugged. "You put stuff together. I tear them apart."

"Why do you have to _be_ this way?"

"It's more fun," they shrugged again. They grinned mischievously at Rainbow's deploring look. "Don't you _want_ to see Seidou tear into Shintaro?" They brought a hand to their face. "And Shintaro's so _soft_ ; so easy to break…!"

Rainbow frowned at them pointedly, and Greyson deflated.

"…I like blood and breaking people; I have problems…"

"It's okay," Rain assured. "Seidou can rip Shintaro limb from limb if you want him to… as long as it's out of love."

Greyson blinked, then smiled. "Okay," they said, sounding distantly cheery. "I'm _really_ looking forward to seeing Yato and Izaya's next meet-up." They began walking towards the bakery, passing by Kaneki, Rika, and Rin. Rainbow was staring raptly at them, expression awed. "I _can't wait_ …"

"I want Yato and Izaya to kiss," said Rainbow.

"What? No." Greyson frowned. "No. _No._ "

"Why _not?_ "

"They—they're too—too _alike._ "

"I _guess_ you're right… But…" They went carefully in through the front doors and watched as Hide slipped into the back area, where the kitchen was hidden. Rainbow pulled away from Grey's hand. "Where are Yukiteru and Izaya? Oh, if I had my _laptop_ …"

Shaking their head, Greyson hooked arms with Rainbow and started for the stairs. "Nobody can see us if we're touching."

"Yeah, yeah…"

Their wandering took them exactly where they wanted to be – slipping into a cracked-open door, they walked in on a private conversation between none other than Yukiteru and Izaya.

"…put me with Shirou and Konoha; thank you very much," said Yukiteru to Izaya, an earnest fire in his blue eyes. "Since you know A-ya will surely come from that side. _You_ need to see Yato, and I… well, you know."

"It's established," Izaya answered, rather flat. He was leaning on the wall behind him, his arms folded over his chest.

Yukiteru took a step forward, spreading a hand out casually. "It's all gonna happen at once, then, isn't it?"

"Probably." The informant's red-brown eyes were dull in comparison to their old cruel shine. He dipped his head just slightly, giving an overcast to his eyes. "It would really make the pieces fit together, wouldn't it? If this is the ending, there's no doubt this plot needs to hit its climax."

"And at that time…"

"I know, it's…"

"For Yato… or for A-ya…"

" _Kiss him_." They'd crept up on them, unnoticed beyond the perceptions of the players. It was Rainbow that whispered in Yukiteru's ear. "Ya gotta _kiss_ him, Yukki. Kiss the child. _Kiss A-ya._ That's the plan…"

"Oh my _god_ ," said Greyson, stifling their laughter. Stretching their arms to get closer to Izaya while Rainbow remained by Yukki, Grey leaned in to Izaya's ear, murmuring, " _Kill him._ You should _kill_ him. And break him first, while you're at it. _End Yato._ "

"Jesus _Christ_ , Greyson," said Rainbow, and they both busted into giggles.

"So, what's your _real_ plan, Izaya?" asked Yukki.

"He's gonna sin, son," said Grey. " _God-slayer,_ ha _ha_!"

"I don't imagine that's all you're planning to discuss with me, Yukki," said Izaya. "You've got secrets of your own."

"Yeah, he's gay," Rainbow piped in.

Yukiteru laughed. "Everyone's allowed a little bit of secrecy, aren't they?"

"Just come outta the closet, guys," Grey snickered.

"Some lines must be crossed," said Izaya, eyes narrowing just slightly.

Rain giggled. "Yeah, like—"

Izaya was suddenly slammed into the wall by an invisible force, grimacing. The two game masters shut up instantly.

Yukiteru was still smiling, just slightly. "Alright," he said, looking up at Izaya, who was now gravitationally pinned to the wall. "I'll tell you."

The informant opened an eye to look at the fourteen-year-old in front of him. His mouth twisted into something like a smile. "What's—this about, Yukki?"

"Well, I've gotta tell you," Yukki said, still oddly casual, "I was such an awkward mess… But I think you have something going for you. I really do. I was so scared to interact with people, thinking I'd do it wrong, thinking I'd get myself hurt… But I found out…" – Yukiteru smiled eerily up at him – "…that it gets a lot easier after you do it enough. People aren't so difficult to figure out, after all!" He sounded like nothing more than an enlightened kid, excited about finding out how easy it was to nick a cookie from the cookie jar. "People aren't so hard to trick. And if you pretend you're one thing, people start to believe you. You know it – _you_ know how to lie, don't you?"

Izaya frowned down at him. "What exactly are you getting at?"

Yukiteru's wide eyes had a shine to them that Izaya recognized as a bad sign, but he couldn't tell exactly the meaning behind it. What was he thinking? "You can do what you want to Yato. I don't mind it, even if you do decide on killing him. Even if you do somehow succeed. But Yato taught me a little trick about this game. The way you can override the kill count rule, and kill as many as you want in one go… Do you know the answer?"

The informant's eyes were gradually festering. He said nothing.

" _Betrayal_."

Izaya's lips grew slightly thinner. His eyes narrowed. Yukiteru smiled happily, walking forward until he was right in front of Izaya.

"And everyone's gonna be _all_ together, Izaya. Do you know what that means?" When Izaya didn't seem to want to answer, Yukiteru snickered.

"Decided to side with what's left of A-ya after all, have you?" Izaya inquired bitterly.

"So what if that _is_ the answer?" Yukiteru leaned in, intense gaze narrowing back at the informant. "You're not going to say a word about it. Do you know why?" Here, Yukiteru cut him off before he could answer: " _Because that's who you are_. I've heard – it wouldn't be the first time you kept quiet about someone's dishonesty. Who died then? Someone close to Yato, wasn't it?" Izaya's eyes flashed, and Yukki grinned, pressing further, "You're that kind of cruel person, Izaya. No matter how much I tell you, you won't dare say a word about it to anyone, will you? No, because that could get you killed, and more importantly… what a show _that_ will be, won't it? You just can't resist watching things fall apart, no matter how hard you've worked to put it all together. Do you really think that that changed? Hah!"

Being released by the gravitational pull of the wall, Izaya collapsed to the ground. His good palm pressed to the wooden flooring, he used the wall for stability as he looked up at Yukiteru.

" _That's_ why," Yukki said lowly, "you won't say a thing." Here, he smiled sweetly. "Right, Izaya?"

* * *

It didn't take too much longer for the entire group to assemble. The bombs were set up in the hospital, the roof was marked where Yato needed to be broken in, the bakery roof was all set up, and everyone was now gathered in the street, Kaneki and Izaya at the front.

"Is everyone aware of their roles?" asked Kaneki, and there were sounds of confirmation.

"All set, boss," Hide grinned. Kaneki's visage softened when he looked at him.

"And how about you, Konoha?"

As the android was rather air-headed at times, Kaneki just wanted to be sure. Contrary to his usual spacey air, however, Konoha looked stiff. "I—remain on top of the roof, with… the small one in the cloak, and Shirou. Protect Shintaro, and Hide, and Rika, and Rin. From—A-ya. Well, really, the one inside of him. I think."

Kaneki touched his chin. "Hmm… If you're uncomfortable, Konoha, I understand. Perhaps Seidou and you can switch, if—"

" _I will stay here,_ " Konoha said firmly, if shakily. "I want—I _should_ , I need to, to face that person, after all."

Yukiteru eyed Konoha, musing quietly to himself. That was right, this android was the one who _used_ to be possessed, wasn't he?

"Konoha…," uttered Shintaro, concerned. He rubbed at one of his bandaged arms. Seidou only scoffed.

"It's brave of you," Kaneki smiled at the android, and then looked over the rest of them. "Are we ready, then?"

A chorus of confirmation, added to with Shirou's exclamation of "Absolutely!"

"There are two people coming," said Konoha, "from that way. Kinda fast." He pointed, and Kaneki nodded.

"It's time to get situated."

"There's just one more thing I'd like to say before I head to the hospital," said Izaya, stepping forward from behind Kaneki and raising his head. Hide appeared to be watching Izaya a bit closer than usual. "For—all of you, really. I'd like for none of you to be another one of Yato's casualties." His eyes flickered, and he smiled at them all hollowly. "I think far too many people have died by his hand because of me. _I'll_ say. Having said this, let's all do our best, hah? Let's not give up – no matter _what_ happens…" He gave a meaningful look to everyone. "Tragedy is inevitable for all of us in one form or another, but that doesn't mean there can't be a happy ending, right? I'm not going to be the one to pretend that every one of us is going to make it to that end."

Rika blinked. By the way Hanyuu quietly put her hands over her mouth, the little girl figured that what he said was somehow significant.

"Anyway," he said, closing his eyes, "good luck, everyone. Heh." He turned to walk towards the hospital, and was stopped for a moment by Rika, who had run up to him and taken his hand, squeezing once. Their eyes met, she released him, and she left.

"Good luck to you too," said Shintaro, giving a pained half-smile. Konoha, next to him, nodded. "It was nice working with you…. properly, you know."

"Likewise," Izaya smiled drily.

With that, he started to the hospital, and had gotten to the door when someone took him by the shoulder.

"Izaya-san." It was Kaneki.

Izaya turned to him. "…Yes, Kane-kun?"

"Thank you."

The informant stared at him with comical surprise, and for a moment, had nothing to say. He wasn't all too sure he liked the warmth exuding from Kaneki's visage. What was that? "I don't know _why_ you're thanking me," Izaya scoffed. "We just happened to share common interests, and that's all. There's nothing more to it."

"But you also offered your company," Kaneki said patiently. "And sharp tongue though you have, you do have everyone's safety in mind."

Izaya shrugged off his hand. "I'm only using your lot to get to my own objective. You've held up to that necessity, and I appreciate that."

"You've shared information that you didn't need to," the half-ghoul pointed out.

"Bouncing off ideas," Izaya said shortly. "Just useful. All of you were just a convenience."

"Then I'm glad we were, ah, _of convenience_ to you. You were rather convenient to us too."

Izaya frowned deeply at Kaneki. Was this mockery? "I just did all I did because it would have been even more of a hassle for myself otherwise."

Kaneki's mouth curled slightly, his Mona Lisa touch. "I just wanted to express my gratitude. Despite everything, I hope you make it out of this."

Izaya hesitated.

"Just… don't go pushing people off of any more balconies."

The informant blinked, then barked out a laugh. "Oh, fine, fine… You take care of yourself, Kaneki." Izaya held up an index finger. "If you're going to try and protect everyone else, you need to be able to protect yourself. That is… ah… It's really something you're alarmingly thick-headed about."

Kaneki's eyebrows rose. "I suppose you're right," he said eventually, touching his chin.

"Well then, good luck out there!" Izaya chirped, bringing an arm around Kaneki's shoulders. "Glad you have such faith in me, you know? If you say so, it _must_ be true!"

"Careful in there," said Kaneki, patting Izaya awkwardly on the back before breaking away to head to the bakery.

Izaya looked back once more to see Yukiteru looking at him. Yukki smiled.

Closing his eyes, the informant turned and entered the darkness of the hospital, a hollow smirk touching his mouth.

* * *

 **Alright, guys next chapter the final battle begins! Unfortunately, things have been getting really hectic so far this summer, and I don't imagine it'll slow down. Because of that, I'm going to refrain from updating until August. I hope this is okay.**

 **If you've followed the story this far, I deeply appreciate it! And I hope that you've been able to enjoy it to this point. uvu Thank you for your patience.**

 **In any case, take care and have a lovely day, now!**


	64. Liars

**Hey, Readers! Sorry for the long wait, and thank you for your patience. If you've come back to this and are still reading, I appreciate it!**

 **Due to a few external reasons, I'm going to start updating once a month instead of once a week. I'll try to make these chapters a little bit on the longer side to make up for it! Because of how late I am into September, you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. I'll try to update on the 1st of every month from here on. I hope this is agreeable!**

 **In any case, we're heading into the last stretch. I hope you enjoy, and have a swell day!**

* * *

"Is he still coming from the same direction, Konoha?" asked Kaneki, looking out over the rooftops he could from atop the bakery with everyone else – minus Izaya. Konoha confirmed Kaneki's inquiry, and Kaneki ran a hand through his white locks. A shadow moving over the rooftops caught his eye. Well, two shadows. "Brace yourself, everyone." His eyes narrowed. Something felt wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

" **Can we charge him now?** " asked Seidou impatiently, lowering himself into a fighting stance.

"We will attack when I give the signal," said Kaneki, watching as the smaller figure flashed red and became Yato's wooden-hilted sword. _He's quicker than last time we saw him,_ he thought, watching as Yato bounded from the hospital roof to the street between them, the asphalt cracking beneath him. The building beneath them trembled; Kaneki heard Shintaro yelp. "Now!"

He and Seidou jumped forward and towards their target, but Yato merely ran behind them at top speeds, shooting into the throng of innocents waiting on the bakery roof.

" _He's healed!_ " Kaneki cried out, wheeling around. Seidou skidded, looking mightily disgruntled. " _Look out—_ "

Cerulean lightning clashed with the teal electric of Shirou Emiya's short swords. Gritting his teeth, the redhead took the god's attack with both blades crossed in front of him, feet spread wide as he protected Hide, who stood stock-still behind him. They broke contact as Rin shot at Yato with a curse and he dodged, jumping backwards into the outstretched hand of Seidou Takizawa.

" **Keep the fuck away** ," he growled, gripping at the collar of Yato's jersey. The god writhed and twisted, swinging his sword only to get thrown off the roof and back to the street below.

Kaneki looked to Hide, who flashed him a grin and a thumbs-up saying yes, he was fine. Kaneki then jumped back down with Seidou to fight Yato. "This'll be harder now that he's full power," said Kaneki breathlessly.

Yato watched them both silently, visage cold. " **Yeah,** " agreed Seidou, " **and to compare, you look like you've been put through a cheese grater.** "

Kaneki blinked at him. "Well—"

"I've got your back!" called Shirou, coming down from the top of the bakery to land between them. "I'll help weaken him— _trace on!_ " he barked as Yato charged again.

" **We can handle it ourselves, kid.** "

"We don't need either one of you going ballistic, here! We need our wits about us more than we need pure power."

Seidou laughed harshly, his kagune spreading from his back. " **You think too much of me, saying something like that!** "

"My dad believed in you, didn't he?" Shirou answered, brandishing Seidou's old crossbow quinque and shooting a few rounds at Yato.

Seidou didn't seem to have an answer for that.

The remaining six atop the bakery watched with bated breath as Shirou, Seidou, and Kaneki all faced Yato. "He's healed, huh?" said Yukiteru, hand to his chin.

"Maybe an items pillar," suggested Rin. She looked slightly pale.

"Whatever helped him, we mustn't worry too much now," said Rika. "We have to keep an eye out for ourselves… that is their fight now."

"Yeah…," Shintaro agreed half-heartedly.

"They'll do fine," Hide assured Rin. "Look at 'em. They're all so badass!"

She offered him a weak smile in answer, and they watched Shirou work together with the two artificial half-ghouls against a god. By now, Kaneki's kagune was also out, and he and Seidou were fighting quite effectively as a duo. Shirou, the third wheel, continued to contribute at strategic intervals, using whatever weapon best suited the moment. He switched from the crossbow to his short swords, to a machine gun, to a pair of grenades ("Hold on!" he cried to his two teammates, not wanting to get them blown up too.), to a full length sword reminiscent of the Prophet (this one threw Yato off especially well)…

It was Konoha that gave the warning, his soft voice especially low and urgent: "That person is coming."

"From what side?" asked Hide, and Konoha pointed stiffly to the south, away from the skirmish involving Yato.

"How close?" asked Rin, but she only received the answer, "Very," Konoha's android self beginning to visibly tremble.

"We'll be alright," Yukiteru said with certainty, cocking his head to the side and looking over his shoulder to where A-ya would be approaching. He wore a lopsided smile. "…Hey." He looked at Rika, who was peering up at him with Kincho nestled, frightened, in her tiny arms. "Thanks for standing up for me today."

"I felt it was right," she said simply, closing her eyes.

Shintaro glanced over to the Yato fight and saw that their side was managing to edge the god towards the hospital. Seemed Kaneki and Seidou were trying to pull the battle up to the rooftops, though Shirou couldn't follow after a fight like that. The six of them (seven, Shintaro supposed, if you could count an armadillo) all felt the air rising in tension – as if it could get any thicker – as the albino android walked towards the edge of the roof opposite where everyone had gathered to watch the Yato fight.

With a loud _crack,_ red lightning crashed over their rooftop, making Shintaro cry out and scrabble to the side as the cement fell in where the electricity struck. Hide reached out and caught Rika, who happened to be on a piece that had decided to give into gravity. Kincho squealed in distress, clinging to the ten-year-old. Hide pulled her up with remarkable ease – he noticed Yukiteru helping out with an easy wave of his hand. He seemed abnormally calm. "You alright?" Hide asked her. She nodded quickly.

Konoha, at the edge of their platform, had caught the possessed A-ya, who had charged at the android with crimson eyes ablaze. A grin had distorted his young face as he leaned close to albino, their pale hands pressed together. A-ya stood with his knees bent atop the railing bordering the roof, so that his face was level with the android's. The demon spoke: " _You really think you can hold me back, Vessel?_ "

Konoha, gritting his teeth, pushed back against the possessed, feeling the crackling around them. There was a buzzing through his body; a tingling that he supposed might be 'electric.' His own eyes flickering from watermelon pink to luminescent red, he said, "I won't let you win." There was a sick splintering sound as A-ya's wrist was unset and rebroken.

A-ya released a bark of deranged laughter before Konoha did it, shoving him hard enough to bend the railing and send him into the asphalt below. Rin and Hide ran up on either side of Konoha, Rin holding up her arm in preparation to curse him. Yukiteru followed, walking at a normal pace. His air still did not match the high-tension atmosphere.

"Will a curse work on a demon?" asked Hide hurriedly. "What if it like, charges him up?"

"We'll see about that," the mage said.

"Curses work on him," Rika piped in from just behind them.

"Keep back," Rin said warningly, "I don't want you hurt…"

There was an explosion of shattering glass and crackling crimson as the wall of the floor beneath them imploded with a literally shocking blast from the possessed kid on ground.

"What is he _doing?_ " hissed Rin.

"Making us fall?" suggested Konoha.

"Wait a sec," said Hide, wide-eyed. "Oh, man!" He wheeled around as A-ya bounded into the opening he'd made in the floor below. "Shintaro, look out!"

But as Hide tried to warn him, the possessed emerged from the hole he'd made in the roof and easily grasped at the NEET's throat with his good hand, shoving him over to the railing.

"Oh, that's not good," remarked Yukiteru as Konoha screamed Shintaro's name – the red-scarfed boy was kicked overboard, A-ya grasping at the ends of the scarf and dangling him over the edge.

" **He is human,** " said A-ya with his possessor. " **He will die if I drop him.** " He smiled eerily as Konoha froze in his movement to attack. Looking horrified, Rin lowered her arm, knowing she couldn't shoot.

Shintaro, grasping at the scarf that had belonged to his hero, struggled for air, gasping and choking and writhing to no effect. _Three stories,_ he thought dimly, his vision hazing. _That's what she jumped from…_

Yukiteru, smiling softly, stepped forward with his palms raised to A-ya. "A-ya…" His voice was tentative.

A-ya gave a start. Seemed as though he hadn't noticed Yukiteru's presence. He stared back at his cloaked friend, hesitated, and then smiled the same eerie smile. "Oh," he said. Thankfully, he sounded human. "Hi, Yukiteru."

"Hi, A-ya," Yukiteru answered, his tone calm. He was smiling warmly. Hide was watching Yukki with an expression of stone. Rin's eyes were bulging, incredulous – she obviously thought this was a ridiculous attempt at defusing the situation. Rika hung back, holding the armadillo close. Hide put his hand on her back without expression.

Konoha's eyes flicked from Yukki to A-ya. "Oh," he murmured, "I see…"

"You know," said Yukki conversationally, "you shouldn't do that."

A-ya looked at Shintaro, struggling weakly against his hanging. "You ever hear… the legend… of the hanged man…?"

"A-ya," Yukki repeated, softer, but firm.

"You're right, I could… **tell you next time, of course. That would be fine.** "

"You should stop, A-ya."

" **Stop?** " He looked back at Shintaro, then at Yukki again. He grinned. " **Fine, fine.** " And he dropped him.

Shintaro felt the oxygen flood him blissfully, his head spinning – or was that the wind? He felt as though he were falling – he remembered being pushed from the balcony, and remembered how it was Ayano had died, and thought to himself that it wasn't such a _terrible_ way to go, but he couldn't think straight and he didn't want to die, he _didn't_ , and neither did Roppi, so why now—?

He felt the cold catch him, heard the distant clattering of something falling to the ground. He thought his eyes were closed at first, but as the darkness gradually ebbed from his vision, he realized that his lids were wide open. It was Konoha that had caught him. Before he knew it, he was being set gently, safely down on the ground and his android friend was leaving him behind, jumping back up. Evidently he thought that Shintaro was better off on ground level.

After A-ya had dropped Shintaro, he had rushed at the rest of them, eyes glimmering in amusement at Konoha's move to save the red-scarfed one. " **Clearly you don't understand yet!** " they cried, the air crackling as Rin shot a curse only for it to explode midair and knock everyone backwards but A-ya and Rin themselves. He grabbed at her, then, as Konoha came back up from below and grabbed at A-ya. Rin pressed her foot to A-ya's chest, trying to get him off her. With Konoha at his back, A-ya couldn't hold on long, so instead he whipped around and landed a kick to Konoha's head, sending him staggering backwards.

" _I said STOP!_ " Yukiteru snapped, making a movement much like pitching a baseball which sent A-ya back over the railing onto the asphalt below. With a quick downward motion of his arm, then, everyone froze in place, feeling a sudden heaviness.

"You can't just _talk_ him out of this!" Rin snipped, her voice cracking. She was holding her throat gingerly where A-ya had grabbed her. She was clearly running out of patience. "This isn't the time for a _compromise_ ; what are you _thinking?!_ "

" **I'm curious, too,** " said the possessed, staring up at the five of them. "Yukiteru, you can't think that this is going to go peacefully. You just—don't **get it, do you? No. You obviously can't, if you're still defending them. This game needs to be reset. These people** _ **need**_ **to die.** **That's what it takes, you know…** _for the two of you to remain together…_ " His face smiled. " _That's what you want, isn't it? Observer…_ "

Rika looked nervously to Yukiteru, anticipating a reaction that didn't come. The cloaked one only looked down with something akin to impassivity and said, "You can't kill them."

" **What makes you think that I can't?** " His voice was both indignant and mocking. " **You can't stop me.** "

"What makes you think," Yukiteru answered, almost smirking, "that _I_ can't _stop you?_ "

A-ya spread his arms. " **You can't** _ **really**_ **keep thinking you can save everybody else. How many have you lost? All those friends are gone, right? Give in – it's alright! Because then—** you and I… will be able to spend time **in the next route… and the next, and the next!** "

A-ya made a move to attack again, but Yukiteru stepped forward as well, shoving everyone else back with a sweep of his arms. A-ya faltered. "I said you can't kill them." He saw A-ya glance at someone else, scanning for openings, and said with more volume, "You can't kill Rin."

" **If you understood, this would be easier… Why** _ **not**_ **?** "

"Because she's mine."

A-ya was about to answer, but stopped, bemused. Rin's head whipped to look at Yukiteru, blue eyes scrutinizing. What was that supposed to mean? Then she heard Rika's murmuring: "…A bluff?" Not that this calmed Rin down in the least. She still remembered the blank smile he'd given her after he'd stabbed her in the gut however many times; the way he humanized her even as he spoke about killing her. And why had he asked her name? She could hear him, still: _"Because I haven't killed you yet."_ She could feel something cold trickling through her insides.

Yukiteru smiled a closed-eye smile at A-ya, tilting his head. A-ya stared, looking unsure. "I already decided that I was gonna be the one that killed Rin," said the cloaked one. Her fears seemingly confirmed, Rin began to protest only to be grabbed by Yukiteru and pulled into a chokehold. He produced a knife from his cloak; the orange-handled one that Rika had left at the scene where Shinichi had died. Putting this to her throat shut her up right quick.

Despite Rika's utterances, Konoha didn't seem to know what to do. He looked at Rika again, who was watching Yukiteru intensely, her gaze desperate. Then he looked at Hide, whose expression was dark… but he had turned away, his eyes looking somewhere Konoha couldn't find. He looked at A-ya, too, but the possessed one looked equally unsure of whether this was really what was going on. Then he looked over at the edge of the roof where he knew Shintaro was sitting somewhere below. Not that that would help. And then he looked at Yukiteru, but Konoha couldn't tell a single bit about what he was thinking.

"I already started the job and everything," Yukki continued. "I told her personally that it was my intention, didn't I, Rin?" And he gave her the same smile he had right after Shinichi had died.

At first she felt afraid, but then cool indignance began to take over. Setting her jaw, she stood firm. "I never trusted you," she spat, and to her annoyance, he laughed.

" _If you really intend to kill her, then do it,_ " the serpent said through A-ya's mouth. His mouth curled, his tone challenging: " _I'd like to see it._ "

Yukiteru appeared to hesitate. Perhaps he hadn't foreseen a challenge like that? A bluff was a bluff, after all, if that's what it was. Hide felt something cool on his cheek, and looked to the cloudy sky. _It's going to rain,_ he thought. He made no move to interfere with the scene before him.

"…Alright," said Yukiteru, very matter-of-fact. And simply, swiftly – almost gleefully – he took the knife in hand, pressed the blade into the flesh of Rin Tohsaka's neck, and slit her throat.

* * *

All the sounds were muted in the morgue. Izaya stood with his hands in his pockets at the far end, near where a holographic-esque girl still lay undisturbed in a continuous, soft glitch. The lights overhead hummed while the broken fixture spat sparks here and there – apparently one of them had fallen, perhaps when they had been testing out the grenades. Thinking of the explosives, the informant's bad hand tightened around the original, hidden in the pocket of his beige-trim jacket.

He felt a chill, and turned around to glance at the wall behind him for perhaps the fifteenth time. There was a slight discoloration to one of the wall's panels, but Izaya hadn't the time to investigate such a thing. For now he would just pocket the info for later… or however much later there would be, for him.

This thought did not comfort him much.

The lights swung threateningly as the building above him trembled. He watched the dust falling from the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, he put his good hand on the hilt of the Prophet. The structure above him shuddered again, and he released it again, eyes narrowing.

"Come on down, Yato…" He looked up at the ceiling where Yato was supposed to crash through. He felt amazingly patient. "Our time's almost up."

* * *

Yato was being effectively weakened, it being three on one. Thanks to Shirou's aid, neither Seidou nor Kaneki activated their kakuja armor and 'went ballistic,' as Shirou so described. Seidou kept taking unnecessary hits, distracted by the fight now going on behind them, as well.

"If you help them," Kaneki said, refusing to look behind him, "you will draw Yato towards them."

Seidou didn't say anything, knowing he was right. Grudgingly, he tore his gaze away from a scene that he swore involved Shintaro being held by the neck. He glanced back only once more to see that Konoha had that poor excuse of an eighteen-year-old in his arms. Oddly, Seidou felt something loosen in his chest. He didn't receive any more injuries earned by distraction.

The next step was to get Yato into the basement of the hospital. Kaneki tried a few times to bat him onto the roof, but Yato kept landing sideways and kicking off from some outer wall to shoot back into them again. It was like trying to throw your pillow onto the top bunk at a sleepover, but you keep falling short. Only the pillow keeps jumping back at you, and your bed is five stories high. Also, your pillow wants to kill you.

Well, anyway, during one of these failed attempts, there was especially horrified shouting coming from the bakery. Seidou and Yato only spared a glance, but Kaneki and Shirou couldn't help but look.

Shirou froze in his tracks, turning half around with his mouth agape, Rin was falling, there was red spilling from her, she was being cast to the side, it couldn't be— " _Tohsaka!_ " he screamed, about to run back over. In his distraction, he hadn't the chance to block Yato as he came down at him from the wall of the hospital, stabbing through him and ripping the sword back out. Shirou tried to turn on the god, stunned, but only earned a slash over his front instead.

" **Fucking BASTARD!** "

Seidou slammed into Yato, showering him with shards from his crimson wings. Kaneki, snapping out of it again, jumped up to the hospital roof as Seidou leapt into the air, Yato on his tail.

"I'm happy to see you're not thinking through blind hunger anymore," Yato said wryly, and Seidou swiftly kicked him, sending him well off-course and into the range of Kaneki's attacks. With no control over where he was falling, Yato tried to right himself, grimacing. But Kaneki caught him with his foot; Yato swore he felt a rib crack, but he had no time to process it as he was slammed downwards and into the cement; he was hitting floor after floor but he couldn't stop, no, not until at last he smashed into the harsh foundation that served as the flooring for the basement. His spine arched in agony, he turned quickly over onto his side and spat up blood. Sitting up, he wiped hastily at his mouth and looked quickly around, anticipating the next attack.

"Yo."

Yato stiffened at the casual, snide tone he knew all too well before jumping to his feet in all haste, turning to Izaya Orihara in a fighting stance. His hands gripped tightly at the wooden hilt of Nora.

Izaya stood in front of him as though waiting for him – he probably had been. He had his hands in his pockets. Yato had expected that cold smile touching his face like it always did, but Izaya only looked at him, cool and impassive.

Oh, but Yato had broken him! Hadn't he? Where had Izaya been since they'd last met? How much had changed? Yato felt Nora quiver in his hands, discontent running through the blade.

"What?" Izaya tilted his head a bit, maintaining his expressionless face… though his eyes did narrow. "Don't have anything to say? Not even 'hello'? You could at least be coldly polite. Oh well." Izaya stepped towards him, stopping after only a few strides. He extricated his hands from his pockets, spreading his arms in a half-shrug. Yato noticed that the stupid Eskimo jacket was zipped up all the way, now.

"Well…" Izaya looked at Yato; he couldn't remember Izaya's voice ever sounding so dissonant with the dead look in his eyes. "Why don't we chat for a bit?"

* * *

The blood from Rin's throat sprayed outward; her eyes rolled, mouth slack. She collapsed, and Yukiteru let her before kicking her over the railing without any trace of remorse.

Shintaro, who had crept back up the stairs to the roof, shouted after her, calling her name. "What the hell is going on?!" he demanded, voice cracking. "What is this?! What—?"

"Shut up," said Yukiteru sweetly, turning to him with a smile. The blood mottling his face was rather effective in his message, it seemed, for Shintaro was immediately silent. Just as quickly, Konoha stepped between Yukiteru and Shintaro protectively. Both of them were looking from A-ya to Yukki and back again. Hide backed up a few paces, expression inscrutable.

Rika looked perfectly dismayed, cemented in place. "Yukiteru, you…"

Then there was A-ya, staring immobile not at Rin as her body fell in a heap to the asphalt, making an audible _thud_ , but at Yukiteru. _He just…?_ This didn't feel right. He didn't feel right.

 **What's wrong?**

But he didn't know. He couldn't answer, only acknowledge what he could only identify as dread settling in the pit of his stomach. The feeling only got heavier when Yukiteru's laughter rang out, echoing through the mostly empty streets. "Everyone's so surprised!" he cried, mirthful. "Everyone's so shocked! Even though this is the way it has to be, the only way it _can_ be!" He looked down at A-ya, who looked back and wondered what his own face looked like. He couldn't feel it, maybe Kuroha was smiling with his mouth; he couldn't tell. The whites of Yukki's eyes were pronounced against the black of his hair and of his cloak. A-ya thought he'd seen as much sclera on his friend, but only out of fear or of fretful determination.

"You told me, didn't you?" Yukki asked him, bringing him back to the present, coaxing him from the shelter of his subconscious. "And you know, it wasn't you who did it, but I still lost everyone all the same. Not Rika, you see, but in case you don't know, Minene's dead. Celty's dead. Akise's dead. And I've thought about it, thought long and hard, A-ya." He outstretched one of his hands, eyes narrowing and smile spreading. Were his blue eyes always the color of ice? "I want to dance in your dream."

This didn't feel good. He didn't feel good at all. This feeling in the pit of his stomach, it crawled up into his chest, it held him in place, it was so weighted. He tried to think, but his processes kept getting blocked or diverted or lost…

 **Why aren't you happy?**

 _That's right, why…?_

The icy feeling in his gut was melted by the serpent's warm pleasure, or was it his own? What was the difference? **We are one and the same, aren't we, Little Master?** _ **Of course we are. Why**_ _was I worried, again?_ He began to feel himself smiling, sensation returning to his physical self as everything slipped back into place. Yeah, this was where he should be. This was where they belonged. This was fine. The vision of him and Yukiteru clasping bloodstained hands flickered in his mind's eye. Dyed the shade of their favorite form of red, running towards the beginning again…

"You've been suffering alone all this time," Yukiteru continued, "and as crazy as it seems, you really did only want to be together again, after all. You were right, all I needed to close the distance between us was to join you." His expression became apologetic. "I'm sorry, A-ya. I took so long."

" **No need to apologize!** " they answered gleefully. "Time means nothing; you should understand that now, right? So it doesn't matter, not at all… For us to be together, that's enough!"

"After all, to me, A-ya's still my first friend…"

" _Yukiteru!_ " Rika snapped, freeing herself from her cemented horror. "You mean to tell me that _you_ will be the one who leads us to another tragedy? We can't! I can't anymore!"

Yukki looked at her and smiled mildly. "Don't you… want to see Minene again? Or Roy?"

She faltered. "Maybe so, but I do _not_ wish to lose them again!"

" **Maybe you could save them next time,** _Princess,_ " said the possessed one, sneering up at her.

"I don't want to hear that from _you_ , who killed Roy! Yukiteru, don't you understand?! We need to end this while we can! We've finally made it this far, and if it were to start again—I… I don't know that I…!" She shook her head, unable to speak any further.

"She's right!" Shintaro spoke boldly. "It doesn't matter whether or not I want Roppi back, or Shirazu, or Tsuki—even Ayano, that's right, Kuroha…! Why would I want any of them to go through this game again? We shouldn't have to repeat anymore – we want this to _end!_ "

"Don't you remember?!" Rika demanded. "This game is _fake!_ We need to _end the dream!_ "

"How can it be… the right thing," said Konoha, "…when you just killed somebody…? How scary… and, sad… Rin was, so nice…"

" _If you do not back down,_ " said Rika, her voice taking on a frightening quality, " _I will make sure the pieces fit for our ending. If you threaten our ending, I will end_ _ **you**_ _, if I have to._ "

Yukiteru had begun to shake in the progression of these accusations, but instead of apologies, he started laughing again, a full laugh that resounded cruelly around them. "You act like I haven't considered all of this! These arguments mean nothing to me anymore! All of you don't understand, that's all… Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

" **Not very kind of them, is it?** " said the possessed and his possessor. " **So who goes first? If we're forcing a reset, shall we do it together? That's what you want, right? It's a win-win for everyone here! Even if everyone dies, you have more lives, an infinity of second chances! It's all you could want and more…!** " At the cold glare they'd earned from Rika, they only smiled wider. "What do you say, Yukiteru? Who do you want? How do you wanna do it? You don't have to dirty yourself more if you don't want, really! It's okay even if I die, right? Because I'll meet up with you next time! Just **help me make sure the job's done, that's all! In fact, there's no need to be waiting around too much longer,** it's not like we're playing hide-and-seek this time around. And we wouldn't want the half-ghouls interrupting our party…!" Here, he jumped up onto the roof again, where all but Yukiteru backed up. " **Doesn't matter who dies,** that's right, since we'll be together, yeah, **even if you died, I'd** forgive you, you know."

Yukiteru only smiled at A-ya as the possessed one's mouth twisted into a horrible grin. The air began to crackle around him, he was apparently charging up. Hide, who hadn't made any comment through this whole exchange, removed his hand from his pocket, brandishing his little stone knife. _No way… He isn't gonna kill Yukki, too, is he?_ He drew his lips together, remaining composed. _No, it'd make sense, under that twisted logic of his… Either way, it's still messed…_

"It's all a play, Yukiteru," A-ya continued, taking a step forward from the railing. His words began to come slower. " **You've said your lines… so it's time to play my role…** as the evil hero— **we've got to reset the actors on stage, so let's dance one more time—!** "

Just as A-ya was about to strike, the electricity creating a literally static atmosphere, Yukiteru grabbed him by the tie that had been drained of its color, yanked him forward, and embraced him fully. It felt as a building storm might, where lightning fizzles but does not strike, buzzing under the threshold of its tangibility. It was this static that filled the spaces between all of them, all six of them. The lightning did not strike, now, but petered out as a different kind of shock settled in A-ya.

By the time he was released, he still had nothing to say. Yukiteru was smiling, still smiling.

"Sorry, A-ya."

* * *

"Don't go and stay silent this whole time, Yato…" Izaya stepped over a stray body, advancing slowly to the god that had somehow become his rival. Yato pointed his sword at him, threatening, and Izaya came to a halt. His mouth twitched. "Are you going to actually kill me this time?"

Yato only narrowed his luminescent eyes further. Overhead, the dim lights buzzed gently. There was otherwise no sound nor answer.

"Do you know where we are, Yato?" Izaya spread his arms. Knowing Yato wouldn't answer him, he continued, "It's the morgue. Those who were laid to rest here are the ones who perished in the girls' round. Look at the tables, Yato. What do you s—?" He jumped backwards as Yato swung at him. Being only human, and an injured human at that, Izaya still received a nice slash over his chest. Staggering backwards, he fell to one knee, laughing breathily. He looked up at Yato, who now stood on one of the empty tables, posture straight.

"I take it…" said Izaya weakly, "…that you still won't kill me?"

"Don't go placing bets," Yato answered, and Izaya's eyes flashed. Consumed with sudden mirth, the informant bowed his head and shook with it, trying not to laugh for fear of vomiting blood again. He was in no shape to be fighting with anyone – he was in no shape to be running around at all, for that matter. No use thinking about that now. "What's so funny?" Yato frowned.

Izaya shook his head, clutching at his chest as he got back to his feet, swaying just slightly. "Not funny. But you spoke, finally… Aren't you eager, Yato-san? I told you I'd like a chat, not a sparring match."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"I wouldn't want to talk to me either," he scoffed. "But as you can see, I'm not really in the best state to battle right now – you'd know, wouldn't you?" He straightened up properly, lowering his arm from his chest and sticking his hands back in his pockets. Tilting his head, he said, "No, you see, I have a question for you…"

"No guarantee that I'll answer." Yato's tone was biting.

Izaya noticed Yato's cerulean eyes flicking over to the bodies of Hiyori and Ayano from time to time; he swore that even in this lighting, he could make out the paling tone of his skin. Izaya couldn't help but smile at this. "Tell me," he said, shifting his weight to his good leg. "You're a god, aren't you? What's Heaven like?"

Yato's gaze finally locked onto Izaya, a trace of irate confusion furrowing his expression. He searched the informant's own face, but Izaya's eyes were placid, distant.

"Is it beautiful? I've wondered for a long, long time… I didn't have faith in anything for a while, but I fancied the thought of an end like 'Heaven'… Me, I couldn't settle for the thought of disappearing after death. I'm also not so ignorant as to believe I could make it to Heaven. If I could bring it to earth, I would. But at this point, it's not looking like I'll ever accomplish such a feat…"

Yato's lips thinned. He did not answer.

"I'm the kind of person, you see, who wouldn't mind going to Hell so long as I could recall my own existence." He removed his hands from his pockets, spreading his arms in a half-shrug again. "But all things considered… I figured I'd have to ask. Maybe I'll even believe what you say. Do beings like you belong in Heaven? Monsters like you?"

"There are many merciless deities in the heavens of my realm," Yato answered at last, and Izaya's eyes flickered. "There are also plenty of gentle ones. I am part of neither party. I have no place in Heaven… nor have I ever."

They looked at one another in silence for some time. Yato waited for Izaya to question this fact – was it that he wasn't a god after all? What a pathetic excuse of a deity! No wonder no one believed in him—

 _Except for…_ Yato didn't dare look directly over to the pair of bodies laid out on two tables nearby.

But the snide remark didn't come. Instead, Izaya said, "Is that so? Where, then, do you go when you die?"

No answer, now.

"Do you simply disappear? Aa, is it that you have no soul?" It wasn't mockingly said; rather, he seemed thoughtful. "That's fine… we both know my heart's nothing more than a decoy. Does that mean we two are the same after all? If you can call yourself a god, what does it take to make myself 'holy'? Well, that's taking it a bit far, isn't it? Rather… 'Monsters,' 'humans,' or 'gods,' they're all 'people,' right? Or so someone told me. But if that's true, we two are nothing more than the copies of every person before us. It doesn't matter what we're made of, or what world we're from, because every world is filled with liars… liars like you and I.

"This basement, therefore… is a mausoleum fit for both of us." Here, Izaya smiled, his eyes staring through the one facing him. "You've already erased me – you proved my existence wrong… But if both of us are liars, and the only judge for a liar is themselves… If we are one and the same, then…"

Yato's eyes thinned to slits, but Izaya didn't seem to be truly looking back at him anymore.

"I wondered whether I, a human in the physical sense of the word, could defeat a god. You were right; it just wouldn't do to fight from behind the scenes. I need to be on the front lines. I am, after all, a coward. Or… I was." He pulled the grenade from his pocket, pulling the pin with his opposite hand. The thumb of his injured hand was pressed on the spoon firmly. "When last we met, you gave me exactly what I deserved; I have no right to complain about that. But god or not, you still have some karma to answer to…"

"Are you going to set off that bomb?" Yato asked lowly.

"Why else would I pull the pin?"

"You can't expect to end me so easily…" Yato, however, couldn't help feeling uneasy about the distant look in Izaya's eyes. There had to be something more. Annoyingly enough, he found himself wishing for at least a smug spark in Izaya's eyes… but there was only darkness. He looked back at him, Yato, with nothing but a distant look that made the god feel strangely as though he'd lost something. But what was there to lose?

"If this building were to come crashing down on us, Yato," said Izaya, approaching him nice and slow, "do you think we'd make it?"

"You can't be serious…"

"I've never been _more_ serious, Yato." Izaya released the spoon. He did not smile, only narrowed his eyes in a focused gaze to his rival. "I'm giving you exactly what you deserve." He threw the bomb up into the hole where Yato had fallen through, jumping up onto the table where Yato was.

"Hiiro, release! Get out of—!"

Izaya made a move for him, and Yato blocked with his arm. Izaya only grabbed ahold of it. At the same time, Nora was cast from her sword form. She tried to protest, but before anything else could happen, the grenade above exploded.

Yato thought, perhaps, that he saw a smile on Izaya's god-forsaken face.


	65. Remnants

**Here's this month's update. October has come; how exciting~ I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

" **Ya think that'll do it?** "

Kaneki looked back at Seidou, then closed his eyes. "I think so. Izaya wanted us to leave them be, now. Let's go to Shirou."

They returned to the street, where Shirou was using a streetlamp pole to get to his feet, breathing hard and keeping an arm to his chest where he'd been slashed. It didn't stop him from dripping globs of blood to the pavement, his chin running with red.

" **Ya wanna die?** " Seidou barked as Kaneki hurried to steady him.

"You may want to sit down for now," Kaneki urged him, but Shirou only shook his head.

"Toh…saka…ch…n," he said thickly, stepping forward and nearly collapsing before Kaneki caught him, sitting him down with his back to the streetlight. "I need… to, save…"

" **There ain't nothing you can do,** " Seidou snipped.

Shirou turned his head to look at Seidou, his gold-brown eyes glassy. The fresh red staining him matched the color of his hair. " _Need_ , to… save… I, can't… Don't want… everyone, to… die, again…"

"It's going to be alright," urged Kaneki, glancing back over to the scene at the bakery and wondering if perhaps he should find Hide and use the medical supplies. Clicking his tongue, he went to try and rip off a piece of his short sleeve, but Seidou waved him off, removing his black cloak to reveal the black, high-collar sleeveless shirt beneath it. Without a word, he began ripping off fabric from the bottom of the cloak, shoving it to Kaneki for him to use. Kaneki blinked.

" **The cl** othes, we need to stop the blood…," Seidou muttered, ripping open Shirou's shirt.

Shirou shook his head. "No… not me, don't help—me, I don't…"

"Calm down," Kaneki said, taking Shirou by the shoulders, stilling him so he could wrap up his chest and stomach. "More cloth."

"Got it," Seidou said shortly.

Kaneki's hands faltered over the puncture wound in Shirou's gut. _Stomach… He got, the pancreas…_

"What're you stoppin' for?" Seidou pressed. "C'mon!"

Kaneki wrapped this as well. "Help me lay him down," he said, and Seidou did so despite Shirou's weak protests. Kaneki glanced over at Seidou, looking at his serious, perhaps pained, gaze. Working together like this, Kaneki recalled his first meeting with Seidou Takizawa the ghoul investigator, who chose to aid him in their attempt to save Delic. Regardless of the circumstances, Kaneki felt some hope knowing that Seidou was still Seidou, somewhere.

"You don't understand," Shirou choked out. "I need to. I need to keep going. I have to. I need to—protect—"

"There's nothing you can do right now," Kaneki told him gently.

"Then I—" Shirou's voice broke, and his expression contorted in something like regret, or perhaps agony. "I'm not— _strong_ enough, am I?"

Kaneki didn't have an answer for him. He put a pale hand in Shirou's red hair, eyes hazing. His words were all too similar to his own thoughts. He could not assure him, for he couldn't even assure himself.

"Sure you are," said Seidou, and Kaneki looked at him in mild surprise. "What are you fighting for?"

"My—I'm, what do you…?" Shirou struggled to look at him.

"You're a passionate kid." The one-eyed spoke with only a trace of bitterness. Then his tone softened. "Reminds me of someone I knew. Tell me, what's a hero?"

"It's… someone—who…"

"It's someone who cares, Shirou," Seidou said matter-of-factly. "And on top of it, they do something about it. You've been working hard at it even since you've gotten here. Or was all that bold talk just for show?"

"N-no, it's—not…"

"I made it farther than you did. I've already been all hollowed out and rotted. You've still got your dreams."

"My… ideal…?" Kaneki's chest ached at how broken he sounded. "But what if… that was a lie… after all…? And I…?"

"Didn't you hear me? You've still got something good. They're not all twisted and jaded… Ya gotta tell me you won't let go of that dream, no matter what. Understand?"

Shirou's eyes were shining. He could barely speak. Kaneki kept pressing on the puncture to his abdomen, willing the blood to stop. "What's the point… if…?"

"Rin will be fine," Seidou said simply. "You'll be fine. You'll see her soon; I'll take you there."

"But…"

"You're capable of more than you think."

"…I… of course, I… won't—let go… of that… It's what, I've always… based my life… on…"

 _It is better to be hurt than hurt others,_ thought Kaneki, closing his eyes.

"If you can save just one person… it makes all the difference," Seidou said carefully, and Shirou's eyes widened. "Right? What was it your father taught you?"

"I… I…"

Beside them, the hospital exploded, and Kaneki and Seidou shielded Shirou as best they could from the shockwave and the debris. Kaneki's kagune emerged, slicing through large pieces of wall. The rising explosion erupted out and up, its crackling fury rising skyward. The building creaked and groaned before slowly, slowly falling in on itself. The fire flared again, rising in the sky so fully, so extravagantly that it must have been unnatural.

"It's happening again…," Shirou whispered. The conflagration, indeed, and why hadn't he noticed the staunch smell of iron? The crackling was deafening; he couldn't stand the heat. "Again, I didn't…"

"You'll be okay," said Seidou firmly, and Shirou looked at him, his eyes clearing from their visions of somewhere in the past.

The injured began to sit up, and Kaneki held him down again, shaking his head. Instead, Shirou reached to Seidou, who took his hand, face stone. "I told you… I've been to Hell already. Just because… you've been there doesn't mean… you're dead, just yet, Seidou… So… take care of them then… would you? I don't care what you've done before… Just…"

"It's too late," said the half-ghoul with some impatience, "for me to become a hero. But…"

"Can't be. You got here—because you followed _your_ ideal… didn't you? For better or worse?"

Seidou didn't answer, recalling the night he'd been taken in as a prisoner of war. The way they shattered his ideals. The way they shattered him.

"If you did it for that… then… would you, again, go to Hell?"

"Shirou…," said Kaneki, voice soft.

"Because I would," he whispered.

Seidou looked, silent, holding firmly onto him. He wanted to tell Shirou that the Seidou he was reaching to had died in the Hell he spoke of; the prison where he was kept as an experiment to toy with. He wanted to tell him that it really was too late for himself, that Shirou was just being naïve and would one day grow bitter if he'd only live long enough. Would he? But seeing him lying here in a pool of his own blood, the fear drained from his eyes, Seidou just didn't have the heart to do it. In fact, he almost dared believe in the Shirou that believed in him. Holding him, he was so solid; real. Those golden-brown eyes willed him to remember what it was he used to fight for, and for just a moment, he recalled what it was like to brandish his quinque in the face of fear, confronting death and standing against whatever consequence awaited him as long as it was the right thing to do. Even if it led him to Hell. Even if it had taken this long to recollect such stale conviction. If he were to have the chance to start again, would he make the same choices? Would he still make the move to save his hero, Amon, even though he knew what the result would be? Would he knowingly travel to where he knew Hell would await him? And if he did, would he be able to keep himself this time?

"I would too, Shirou," he said, holding tighter to his hand. A smile was just barely discernable on his blackened mouth. Somehow, he felt as though he'd saved something after all, or perhaps regained it. No matter what happened next, Shirou would remain alive, it felt. Or maybe it was Seidou Takizawa that had been revived.

Weakly, Shirou's mouth upturned. "Protect Tohsaka-chan… and Shintaro… and the others… would you?"

Seidou's single eye narrowed just slightly, and Kaneki looked at him. "I've got 'em. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you," he murmured, his grip loosening on Seidou's own hand. His eyes dulled and closed, and Kaneki lowered him back to the pavement, feeling for a pulse with mournful eyes. He looked at Seidou, whose head was bowed. They knelt in silence.

"We should get back to the others, then," said Seidou plainly, getting to his feet. As Kaneki was about to agree, another scream rang through the streets. With a quick, urgent glance exchanged between the two of them, they ran back over to the bakery.

* * *

The upper floor exploded with a deafening roar. The screams of spirits couldn't be heard above it – if there had been, neither Izaya nor Yato could tell. Izaya liked to think he could make out a pained cry from the jaded spirit called Nora, but in truth there was only the sound akin to thunder, and the shaking ground beneath them; the way the air vibrated, the way the lights flickered and blew out in flashes of bright light that matched the brightness of the bombs above, and the crumbling world collapsing in on them—

—And then, darkness.

A ringing silence. It had happened so fast that Izaya couldn't even recall where he had been hurt, or if he had. What position was he in? He couldn't feel himself. Perhaps, ah, was it that he was dead?

But the pain trickled back into his system as the ringing continued. He felt as though a rod had been jabbed straight through his ribcage; he tried moving, and felt something like gravel against his fingertips. The rod-through-the-chest feeling grew sharper, and he grimaced. Dimly, he heard the sounds of concrete fragments falling. Opening his eyes, slow, so slow, he could make out only shadows around him, jagged and stone-like. The light entering his pupils was of a violet hue, dim. Flickering.

Gradually, he gathered his bearings. He was lying on his stomach, he thought, his arms laid out in front of him. The rubble around him obscured anything from being construed. He thought he could make out the ceiling (if you could call it a ceiling) being threateningly low. He conjectured that he currently was nestled in a pocket underneath a huge pile of broken building, a cover that could easily collapse in on him and bury him for good. _I didn't think… of course, that it would be… so easy to end us three at once._ He tried to laugh drily, but choked instead. He tasted iron. His head spun. He distantly thought of the possibility of being buried alive, dying slowly in this small space instead of being killed swiftly by his little trap. He shut his eyes against the image, and thought to try and get up instead.

Trying to roll over, he grimaced at his ribs' protest. He thought he remembered Yato throwing him away from himself as the ceiling collapsed. Had he broken some ribs at that time? Maybe.

Pushing himself up with his arms, he tried to move his legs into a kneeling position with only moderate success – his left leg was stuck. Gasping at the shooting pain (and consequently sending more pain through his chest), he halted for a moment to press a hand to his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut as he fended off the nausea. When the pain subsided enough for him to breathe, he turned to look back at his immobile leg to try and make out what the problem was. He could just make out the beginning of his appendage before it disappeared in what appeared to be an abyss. Feeling around, he found that it was trapped under the rubble. After trying to unbury it without success, he grunted in disapproval, looked around, and found nothing else. He felt his side – he still had the Prophet. He felt his pockets – he still had his switchblade.

 _Well then…_ He knelt on his one free leg, palms pressed to the rubble. Bracing himself, he put his good foot flat as he could against the wreckage burying him, gritted his teeth, and pushed with all his might. He could feel the straining, his buried and broken bones scraping together as his leg scraped the rubble atop it until it at last the building gave in and released him. He tumbled forward with a pained shout, immediately clutching at his injured leg, face screwed up in agony. Oh, that hurt; it hurt quite a lot…

Unwillingly groaning, he tried to make progress forward at a crawl, hacking up some blood on the way. Wiping at his mouth, he found an opening upward in his enclosed pocket space that led to a larger, slightly less claustrophobic space. He looked tiredly to what he found to be the flickering light source: the items pillar from the second floor, lying lopsided among the debris. It continued to pulse its perpetual purple light.

Looking around again, he assessed the new situation at hand, his breathing haggard. Crawling from his little tunnel, he attempted to get to his feet, using the fragments of building as support. He could stand up straight here, but his broken leg couldn't hold any weight. Absently wiping at his crimson-leaking mouth again, he made out mostly the wreck of the morgue. He tried to figure out where the tables might be, and noticed the heads of the girls Hiyori and Ayano protruding on slabs that were slightly less jagged – he could only presume it was the tables. As he turned away from them, he swore he saw a flash of luminescent red, but upon looking back saw nothing. Frowning, he continued to search. Where were Yato and Nora?

His eyes had adjusted to this light by now, but it was still difficult to see with the unevenness of the floor, casting deep shadows all around. But it didn't take long – there he was, Yato, lying on his back over the uneven floor. Izaya's gaze rested on him, and he felt something burning inside that he didn't even pretend to think was the pain of his likely-broken ribs.

"Yato…"

Was he alive? Watching him from where he stood, Izaya caught the slight rise and fall of the god's chest. The broken informant felt his mouth stretch.

"Now it's just… me, and you…"

He knew he was likely still unconscious. Izaya unsteadily started forward, limping heavily. His plan was scrapped, caught up in this moment of opportunity. He was possessed by his own broken bonds. Shaky, he drew the Prophet from its sheath. It was too quiet. Nothing answered him.

"You—were right, you know… Yato…" He felt the burning get swallowed with ice, and the night filled him, leaving him hollow. Even the pain began to drain from him. "I'm not alive, anyway… I… was using other people to be, alive. Right? I live… vicariously… through others. That's—what you said, isn't it…? Well, that's right… Izaya… would therefore, have nothing to fight for… would he?" He took another hobbling step. "But… Yato… If I live vicariously… through others…" Another step. "Izaya has nothing, but then… I know a few lost souls who _do_ have something." Another. "That is to say… Someone like Twelve, who you've killed, has every reason to fight you, doesn't he? Through me, he can set fire to this place… to you."

He was beginning to advance faster – he could no longer feel the pain. "Through me, his resonating terrorism can still be heard, can't it? That's right… This, is for—Twelve." He recalled the way the terrorist casually went over the facets of Izaya's existence, assuring him of the necessity of bonds of the heart. "It's for Suzuya." What was it he had said about fallen angels? What color had Yato been dyed, then? Izaya felt the raw scream that had torn through the albino's throat when Twelve was killed. "For Akise…" His scrutinizing rose eyes peered through him; a smile touched the boy detective's lips. Izaya was raising the Prophet, now. "…for Celty…" Celty's kindness trickled like her shadows through his memories. Truly, could he become Yato's reaper? "…for Shizuo…" The gentle look that so plagued Izaya did not haunt him now, but sent him forward. This was the monster Yato had created. "…for Yukine…" Not even _Yukine_ would spare Yato mercy now, would he? "…and for Izaya Orihara, the one you erased." He was almost on him, bringing the sword back and lifting it high. "I am fighting, Yato. I don't care if it's through them or for myself, here I am, Yato – _here I am._ "

He thought perhaps Yato had awoken, his eyes flickering in the darkness. Without hesitation, Izaya slashed downward.

The blade came.

* * *

Yato came to in hazy confusion. He shifted, and felt his hand skim smooth linoleum. _Where…?_ His eyes came into focus – the lights were on but flickering. Where was this? He sat up abruptly – he didn't recognize this place. _Did I perform divine possession? But—no, this is still my body… Wait, I'm healed?_

He looked around: a black couch was against the far wall, and three doors leading out. There were trails of blood smearing the floor, and… He blinked at a head departed from its missing shoulders. It was just the head of a girl with brown hair and—his insides twisted and released, it wasn't Hiyori—two red clips misplaced in her bangs. "…Who…?"

"That's mine."

He stiffened at the soft voice just behind him, and turned abruptly to see the very face that stared into nowhere a meter away from him. Being a god, he was used to dealing spirits, so this wasn't all _that_ big of a deal. But still, nothing like this had happened in this realm, and the suddenness combined with this unrecognizable situation made his heart skip a beat. He narrowed his eyes at her, but she only smiled gently and straightened up. Looking up at her, he could see her brown locks tucked into a crimson scarf wrapped loosely around her neck, her black school uniform, and small hands clasped behind her back. Her likeness to Hiyori was uncanny. He swallowed. No, it wasn't her, he knew that much, but then…

"Do you know who I am, Yato?" she said without looking at him, and he turned away. "My name is Ayano Tateyama… it's a pleasure to meet you."

He drew his lips into a thin line. "How did I get here? I want an explanation."

"Well, you're not dead yet," she said thoughtfully.

"Where am I?" he growled.

"The northernmost building of the city," she said simply. "Where I died, and where Takane died… well, Ene. Where Shiro, the Wretched Egg, died. It's also B-ko's resting place… and more importantly, Hiyori's."

"What—?"

"I brought you here. You see, after I died, I attained the Favoring Eyes. That's _my_ power." She smiled and finally looked at him directly, her chocolate irises swirling into crimson. Their red luminescence shared a likeness with A-ya's possessed gaze, but he couldn't deny that hers was far warmer. "I can project feelings… emotions…" She looked to the open door to their right. "…Memories," she added, and Yato felt as though someone had just trickled cold water down his insides. A crash shook the building around them, and the lights flickered and went out. With his deity's sight, he could still see in the dark. Glancing back at Ayano's glowing crimson orbs, he figured she could see fine, too.

He could hear shouting now; battle cries. He recognized one of the voices to be of his old rival, the goddess Bishamonten. He was frozen in place. This felt wrong. This felt so wrong. He couldn't make out what she was saying, too caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts and his constricting chest. "Why…" he said lowly, "…did you take me here?"

"I'm showing you what you need to see."

"I don't need to see this—"

"Haven't you at all wondered who it was that killed Hiyori? Why she died?"

"I don't—want—"

"I know."

He looked at her again, but she was only looking to the doorframe, a rectangle of darkness that appeared to lead to an abyss. Yato couldn't help but wait and watch with her. Flashes of crackling red and purple would occasionally strike through the dark.

"I'm sorry," said Ayano.

It was a girl of perhaps fourteen dragging Hiyori back through the door they were watching with rapt attention. She was just the same as he remembered – her brown hair, lavender school uniform, magenta scarf and all… Yato felt his chest seize—was she already dead?—but then caught sight of the slight breathing motion of her chest. She was sleeping – as a half-phantom, Hiyori's spirit often slipped out of her body, leaving her physical self asleep while her soul went about doing its own thing.

On cue with his relief (and how ridiculous that relief was, she was still dead in the present and he knew it), he could hear her voice ringing out in a war cry of her favorite wrestling move: " _Jungle… SAVATE!_ "

Yato brought a hand to his mouth, bowing his head as harsh and childish cackling answered her shout. It mocked her.

"She and Bishamonten are facing Eto, now," Ayano explained, not that Yato cared right then. "She's a one-eyed ghoul… like Kaneki or Seidou, but naturally born. She's the one who killed Ene. Hers and my bodies are still in the room they're fighting in, right now. We're going to follow B-ko with Hiyori's physical form."

Yato finally looked at the one holding onto Hiyori's body. She was sweating and looked horribly pale. Her purple eyes were brimming with fear. Her cropped brown hair was adorned with a single red ribbon that matched her red-plaid skirt. "Hi…Hiyori, I'm sorry… I'm trying…" She shifted to pull Hiyori up further, wrapping her arms around her chest, under her armpits. "Please… I've gotta go faster… I've got to…" And she pulled Hiyori back, farther into the room. The one called B-ko looked around frantically before turning to drag Hiyori back into the door next to the couch. Seemed she couldn't see either Yato nor Ayano. "Come on… come on…"

Ayano put a hand to Yato's back, and he unwillingly got to his feet – he knew he had to. Together, they followed after them. It was a rather eerie feeling Yato had – he was used to being unnoticed by humans, that was nothing. But already knowing that Hiyori and B-ko both would meet their demise here was like eyeing someone and noticing a reaper following after them. God or not, it was still a sobering revelation. And for Hiyori to be involved…

Yato thought he felt rather ill.

"Why—do you gotta leave me—all alone, here?" B-ko screwed her eyes shut as she sank against the wall and slid to the floor, Hiyori still in her arms. "I-I can't do this… I can't…" She shakily wiped away at tears spilling from desperation. "P-please… don't come this way… I-I don't want… to—to d—" She choked out a sob. Only human, she couldn't see anything but pitch black. She felt the foundation quake beneath her, holding tightly onto Hiyori's unresponsive body. Eto's cackling laughter echoed and echoed. A loud crash reverberated, and she covered her ears, shutting her eyes and whimpering. "…Nooo…"

After the crash subsided, so too did her shivering. A stillness settled, and she opened her eyes, wide and unseeing. "I can't just keep doing nothing, though…," she whispered. "At this rate, I really will… di—" She clamped a hand over her own mouth. Shook her head. "I won't. I have to make it home. I can at least do that. In this kind of situation… C'mon, B-ko, you have a goddess on your side… A—a _half-phantom_ … like… how supernatural is that?" She laughed weakly. "In a position like this… what… what would A-ya do…?"

Yato stared at her, understanding the connection. She must have been from the same realm as him. Had A-ya, too, found out that B-ko had died? Just like he had Hiyori? What was their relationship, he wondered? He looked at the sleeping form of what he had lost, and felt his chest get spliced. He closed his eyes, lowering his head. He couldn't watch this anymore. It, hurt.

He turned to leave the two echoes of those once living, but a warm hand gripped him by the wrist. He looked to see Ayano, her brow furrowed, eyes shining red. Slowly, she shook her head at him. "Wait," she said. And he did.

The subtle sound of a single droplet falling into a crystalline pond filled the room. Yato stiffened right along with B-ko, turning abruptly to an open restroom door where Nora now stood, her fingers folded gracefully together. Her spirit self was luminescent alone, as though the shadows could not touch her. B-ko let out a broken noise, and Nora smiled. "Hello again," said the Shinki.

Yato tore his gaze from his current weapon only as B-ko drew a pair of blue-handled scissors from her jacket pocket. "Y—you…!"

"Yes, it's me." Nora tilted her head, just slightly. "Don't tell me you're mad at me for killing that Yuno Gasai… She was going to be the demise of all of you anyway. Maka was right about that much…" She took a step forward, and B-ko pointed her scissors at the other, getting to her feet.

"Don't take another step, or I'll—" She faltered. "I-I'll—"

Nora obliged, halting and bringing a sleeve to her smiling mouth as she giggled. "You'll what? What do you think you can do against a full spirit? You do know that's what I am… right?"

"So, a… a-a ghost…?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Why… are you here…? You're not a part of—their group…"

"No, I'm not a part of Group 5," Nora admitted.

"Where's the rest of yours?"

"Oh, they're resting elsewhere…"

"Wh—why are you…?"

"…Here?" Nora smiled at B-ko and took another step forward, at which B-ko stepped up and acted as a barrier between Hiyori's body and the intruder. "Really, you misunderstand… I'm here to help you."

B-ko only kept holding onto those scissors, her hands trembling. All she could see in the dark was the softly luminous image of Nora. B-ko was comprised of static; her trepidation consumed her insides. "H—how do I know you're not—not lying?"

"Mm, that's a good question." She looked upwards, thoughtful. "You see, I'm from the same world as that girl, there. Also the same as Bishamonten. In fact, I work for deities like her. I'm meant to be a weapon for the gods." Smiling, she lifted her kimono sleeves to reveal the red names marking her skin. "Look at how many have given me a weapon's title. Look at how many gods I call 'master.'"

B-ko furrowed her brow, wary. She swallowed. "Isn't that a little… I mean—is there any one god—that you're specifically loyal to? How does that—work?"

"You…wouldn't have heard his name," Nora answered simply.

"So in your realm, when people die, they become gods' weapons… like—like angels!"

"Something like that." The spirit smiled again, her doll's smile. "We weapons, or 'Shinki,' are what you might call 'lost souls.' Those who pass on successfully do not become Shinki."

"Oh, I see…" B-ko had lowered the scissors slightly. She laughed a bit, but it came out as a nervous titter. "Then… do you work for Bishamon?"

"No, not her."

"Then, why…?"

"I told you; I'm here to help you." Nora nodded to the sleeping form behind B-ko. "With that one."

"But why do you want to h—"

"You wouldn't know this, being a human, but half-phantoms like her are very… lowly beings."

"…Lowly…?" B-ko repeated, glancing back at Hiyori.

"You can't trust them," she half-shrugged. "If I'd had the chance after killing Yuno Gasai, I would have spared you the trouble of her, as well…"

"Wh—what do you mean? Hiyori's really nice…!" But her wide eyes kept flicking behind her, as if Hiyori's motionless body would jump up to grab her.

"Has your group been finding any difficulty in this game?" Nora asked abruptly, and B-ko hesitated.

"What… do you mean? Difficulty? We're doing alright—really, we're doing fine. It's fine. We're fine."

"You have one of the seven gods of fortune on your side… don't you think you should have gotten farther along by now?" said Nora, ever so patient.

"Well… I… but that… isn't anyone's fault, really…"

"She's holding your group back. You don't…" – here her mouth curled upward again – "… _know_ her like I do."

"What… do you…?" B-ko swallowed. She appeared to think on this, her complexion paling further. Even as Nora drew forward, the human only stayed rooted in place, incapable of moving at all.

"Please… let me help you. It was… B-ko, wasn't it?" She exuded her jaded warmth as she brought one pale hand to the scissors' blades, gently lowering the weapon and tilting her head before holding her other hand out to the human. B-ko hesitated. "This a game, B-ko… someone has to win, don't they? Just because you're on the same team doesn't mean you'll make it out together. Didn't the Master already specify this? That there would come a time for everyone to fight for themselves?"

"I—"

"I'd suggest you take action before _she_ turns against _you_."

Trembling, B-ko was caught in Nora's gaze. Her fingers loosened around the scissors, and they fell with a clatter to the linoleum. B-ko began to reach for Nora's offered hand, then broke eye contact, reconsidering, as though pausing to draw back. But Nora took her hand, stealing back her gaze.

"I know you'll do the right thing, B-ko. I know you're frightened. I'm a spirit – I can see through everything. I know who you are. It's going to be alright… I'll help you."

The silence was heavy. There was a ringing tension to it; the battle grew distant to the eardrums as the moment honed in on itself. Stiffly, B-ko nodded her head. A subtle gesture. An enormous one, too.

Yato watched with growing horror as the two of them worked together to lift Hiyori's physical body, pulling her over to the bathroom unit just ahead. Turning on the water for the bath, filling it. The harsh waterfall sound roared with the mighty cry of the goddess of war, somewhere behind them. Yato couldn't make out anything B-ko or Nora were saying anymore. It rang hollow through him.

He knew better than any mortal that he could not change this scene. He could not interfere with it. It was not his place. He hadn't been here. And yet, as they lifted Hiyori to place her in the bathtub to drown her ("This is easy, isn't it?" said Nora), Yato jumped for them, at their backs in a flash of godly speed. They dropped her in, and he reached desperately into the warm water to pull her out again, her life escaping from her parted mouth as bubbles, seamlessly reaching the surface and disappearing into nothing. Yato's hands grasped though her, touching nothing. Gritting his teeth, he scrabbled to get ahold of her, but he was simply not tangible. He could do nothing. Instead, Nora reached through him and held her down underwater, pressing the life from her. Ending her.

He tried to bat her away, but merely swung through her. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" he screamed, but she could not hear him cry to her. She could not hear his pleas, nor wishes. She was deaf to him. Blind. "STOP IT— _STOP_ IT…!"

He stood up and staggered backwards, hands to his mouth and nose to stifle his horror. He didn't want to see this anymore. He didn't want to. He already knew she was gone, so why did he have to _watch_ it? He didn't want—

"It's like playing tag, isn't it?" B-ko mumbled. She was curled forward, her hands over her mouth. "We're playing tag with a Shinigami, and—and the reaper's gotta win eventually… This—this isn't right… It's not—I… please, this—I don't feel good… N…Nora, please, tell me, I don't—I don't want to—I don't wanna—"

"—Die?" Nora smiled. "Aa…" She reached over to B-ko with her dripping hands. The water was still, now. She touched B-ko's cheek, a soft gesture. "Poor little girl… Foolish, too."

B-ko opened her mouth, and closed it again. An agonized shriek tore through the building to them; the sound of Bishamon failing to protect yet another soul.

" _What…_ " B-ko murmured,"… _did I just do…?_ "

Yato turned away.

"Are you surprised?" It was Ayano's voice that spoke.

The god brought his hands to his face. "Shut up…"

He felt a small hand at his back. "You can open your eyes, now."

He didn't. What was he supposed to do with this sinking despair, or this dark rage that gripped him? This feeling of deep-seated betrayal? Who was Nora to toy with him in this way? Why should he even be surprised? Did it matter anymore, now that Hiyori was dead? He wished it didn't. He wished he couldn't feel anything at all.

"I'll have to leave you now… The rest is your choice to make. I've given you the truth of the past, so it's up to you to make your future. You actually remind me of someone I know, too, Yato. And I left him behind… Hiyori can't come back, and neither can I. We didn't mean to die… But I suggest that you hold onto this memory, as much as it hurts. Because… sad or not, it's best to remember what's important. Just like Hiyori always remembered you, Yato."

Yato felt his chest split again. And what had Nora done for him? He couldn't tell anymore. He felt bitter and ashamed. He said nothing.

"Guess it's time." The hand left his back. He felt heavy. Lowering his hands, he opened his lids.

His eyes snapped back to the reality of the caved-in hospital morgue. He sat up abruptly, staring into the cold and fiery visage of Izaya Orihara, the flash of his crimson blade as he raised it, the figure of Nora jumping between them with her arms outstretched, the sound of the blade cutting downwards, the spray of blood… Nora's body fell slowly before collapsing.

" _Please,_ " she whispered, reaching weakly to Izaya, " _just, don't… kill… him._ " Her hand lowered to the ground. Izaya lowered his blade, looking like a ghost himself. Yato lowered his gaze, clutching at his chest. He felt her soul leave him. How should it feel?

 _I can't tell what to think, but it…_

… _It still hurts so much._

He looked at Izaya, and Izaya looked back with what could have easily been the same expression. The informant dropped his sword to the ground. Yato's vision blurred. There were no words. There was nothing, nothing at all. Nothing but their agonizing silence. Their shared distance. The blood that stained them both.

Yato's tears spilled as he shriveled into himself. His choking sobs filled the void.


	66. Tragic

**Hello, readers - happy belated Halloween!**

 **I hope you enjoy and have a lovely month~**

* * *

 **Move…**

Yukiteru released A-ya as quickly as he'd grabbed him. A-ya was stunned into silence. Strange, the embrace, it hurt. Looking down, he dimly noticed that his tie had blossomed red. Like his ebony cape, turned crimson? Ah, what happened to Twelve? Where was Suzuya? Oh, but his shirt was getting redder too...

 **Move.**

Yukiteru watched as A-ya's eyes had softened into blank surprise. His pupils, even, had rounded out into a human look of astonishment. It seemed that Yukiteru couldn't help but laugh, giddy with himself.

A-ya could barely hear him, intoxicated only with the vivid longing to be at his side. This was what he wanted, wasn't it?

His dear friend pulled the knife from A-ya's gut, then, and he nearly lost his balance.

 **MOVE!**

He snapped back into his previous state, his thoughts coiling, insides cooling, mouth curling. He pressed his hand to his wound, slowing the blood flow. "Oh… so… is that really... how it is?"

"I'm on your side," said Yukki, "but I don't want _you_ killing _me._ See? So please don't try that again."

"...I..."

The serpent was skimming through his possible plans of action, building and scrapping rapid fire. Something was wrong here, but what? It wasn't the wish A-ya had – to be at the Observer's side, hah! A resolved wish was something he just couldn't allow. No… even if that _had_ been his wish, this wasn't any resolution; and what his little master couldn't remember was that the first wish he'd made was "not to be helpless," not "to be at Yukiteru's side." A-ya would always, always be helpless, so there were no worries there…

So why had he almost lost his grip? The Observer must have thrown him off just well enough to sever his control temporarily. Had that been his true intent? He couldn't rule that out just yet. And if he did that _intentionally_ , then they were walking dangerous ground after all. But then, what was Observer's end goal? To be with Loner, too? The way humans were, the serpent couldn't be altogether surprised… For that disgusting 'love' to come back into play… Though… he felt almost— _offended?_ For him to lose control so easily with Observer around… That meant…

Well. There was every possibility that Observer didn't have the same 'reset' goal as them, right? Observer was a potential threat now. He hadn't dealt a lethal blow, but that was an obvious threat all the same. Reset… They couldn't treat this as fun and savor the moment anymore – the demon had already died once, and did not appreciate the experience. He knew A-ya didn't either, having died himself… The alarm bells were sounding; it was time to get competitive. What was the best way to cover their tracks and ensure a restart? The point of ending the game is cooperation; the seeds of discord were already planted… But the game hadn't started over yet, even though so many 'important players' had died. According to Loner's thoughts, the Dullahan had met with a game master – did that not mean she should arrive at the endgame? If not, then figure it out. As a game master, who _should_ make it to the end? In other words, _who did they need to kill, as soon as possible_?

The peacemakers, certainly… The ones who know how to play the game, no question. Who would have more information than those who had met a game master? Who would, by a logical standpoint, be essential to an actual ending?

It struck him fully, accompanied by a stinging annoyance. The previous games that he was supposed to remember, why didn't he? Why couldn't he, the Clearing Eyes Snake, remember the previous games, if they had existed? But alas, more important was this: who _could_ recall such a time? There were two they knew about… How were two such vulnerable beings still around? And now, who was it that was easiest to get rid of? Who could they off as quickly as possible?

 **End the princess. Get rid of her NOW.**

A-ya faltered. This decision had been come to within a matter of moments, and he stumbled over the sudden thought. "A…ah… Rika…?"

Hide's eyes flashed. Konoha's brow furrowed, and he lowered his head a bit as if preparing to charge.

"Hey… I have, an idea… Yukiteru." A-ya smiled at Yukiteru, who cocked an eyebrow at him, wearing a smirk himself. "You want to d **o… what** _ **we**_ **want, too, right? Reset?** Rika… was the only one you hadn't lost. So if you and I a **re really in this together, we can kill her too, right?** "

Yukiteru's eyes flickered, and he brought a hand to his chin as if to think it over. "Rika-chan, huh…? I guess that would make sense, wouldn't it?"

" _Don't tell me you're unwilling to allow that much,_ " he sneered in the voice of the demon.

"Well…" Yukiteru looked over at Rika. Her face was of stone. He raised his eyes to the one behind her, and met Hide's gaze. Subtly, the blond gave a nod of his head. Yukki smiled. "A-ya… this game is fake." And without warning, he turned on his bare heel and kicked off towards her, propelled by his gravitation. Konoha tried to get in the way, and wasn't quite fast enough.

But Hide, anticipating this, grabbed Rika's wrist and yanked her towards him just before the cloaked one moved, throwing himself forward while casting her backwards, brandishing his stone knife and gritting his teeth as he met the blade of Yukki-

* * *

"I need to talk to you guys too."

Rika and Shintaro had looked at one another, then back to Hide, who continued to scratch at his cheek, gaze averted.

"Alright," said Rika. "Close the door, then, if you like."

He flashed a sheepish grin, and did so. "Well, is it that… both of you know about past routes?"

"Both of us remember," Rika explained. "It is why he could recognize Izaya Orihara… apparently."

Shintaro laughed weakly.

"Man, that's nuts," remarked Hide. "I knew you had a lot goin' on in your head, but I never woulda imagined that you'd had memories of past lives, back and back and back…"

"There is a lot going on in your mind as well, Hide," Rika frowned. Shintaro glanced over at the ten-year-old. She still sounded so _serious_ … "I know not what you're thinking of. Could you tell us?"

"Well, I mean…" The shine in his eyes muted, he looked to them in all seriousness. Shintaro wouldn't admit that he hadn't expected that kind of intensity from Hide. That coupled with the solemnity of a ten-year-old was really making him uncomfortable. "I've been thinking; if you remember what happened before, it's gotta be for a reason. This game is _like_ that. Don't you think that maybe… you two are a requirement for reaching the ending? Or at least—the true end." He lightened up into the persona they were used to. "Like in RPG's, if you're missing something important, you don't get the true ending… ya might even reach a bad end, or a dead end, ya know?"

Rika looked at Shintaro, lost. The hikkiNEET was nodding thoughtfully. "I get what you're saying," he said. "B-but do you really think… we're so important? I'm not all that special…"

"Well, hey," Hide shrugged. "Neither of you seem like the type to make it this far, don't you think? Rika-chan's just a kid, and you just… don't seem to fit the bill for someone who'd survive a death game, ya know?"

"I-I know…" Shintaro bowed his head. "I'm a shut-in. I get it."

"Yo, I didn't even know that, first of all, and secondly, what I'm saying is that it's _amazing_ that you guys have made it here! That means there's _gotta_ be something special about both of you!"

"Uh… yeah, maybe…"

"You were rather confident just a moment ago," Rika pointed out.

"Yeah, that never lasts long."

Hide laughed. "You know, I've got something to tell ya, Shintaro." The raven-haired one looked at him, brow furrowed. "My buddy Kaneki, he was kinda scrawny once upon a time. He hated sports and he was kind of a loner… I mean, _I'd_ drag him around to have fun with me, but I was all he really had. He's come a long way, now…" His expression softened. Perhaps nostalgia? "I'm really glad… But he still doesn't understand his own potential. What I'm saying, really… is that the only thing that's holding you back is yourself. If you can believe you'll end this thing, you will."

Shintaro drew his lips into a thin line, trying not show too much emotion. "U-um… Thanks…" Rika smiled up at the NEET, who looked away from both of them.

"But yeah," Hide grinned, "I think that both of you will make it outta here. That is, you have to. On the other hand…" His smile faded, and he looked at Rika. "You told us that the uncertain players had never made it, right? The ones where it's hit-or-miss whether they show up in these games?"

Rika blinked. "Yes… But I thought, perhaps if I had warned all of you, then you could break that pattern…"

"No, please listen. I've been thinking really hard about this. What is this game? Is it really happening? Think about it… Does it make sense…? Apparently, Takizawa started out in this game from the same point as me and Kaneki, and then what? He got 'fast forwarded' or something? There's no way that the GM's would send him back home like that – he'd remember these games. He'd change things. But did they change? No… What's more, there was Akira, who was from the future. How could any of that be a thing unless the future already exists? That is… somewhere, there's some kind of parallel us that will still go on as if the games were never a thing, right?"

"I see…" Rika nodded. "I suppose I hadn't thought too much on it… because for my world, I've yet to find a future. Mine and Shintaro's worlds are in the same loop of continual reset, it seems…"

"Yeesh, that sucks," remarked the bleached-blond boy. "But, ah… That is to say, what happens to the people that die in this game? Are they really dead, when they've got the 'real them,' I guess, living as per normal back home? Are we all illusions until we reach the end? Maybe illusions even then?"

"But we're still here," Shintaro said nervously. "And still, um, struggling a lot. I'm gonna have PTSD or something."

"It is true," said Rika, "that we are sentient. Perhaps our other selves are still in our own realms, and we are all just copies. But…"

"But what I'm really trying to ask," Hide said soberly, "is… well… What would happen, if I were to die?"

Yukiteru swiped upwards with his knife, knocking Hide's stone blade in the same direction as the cloaked one grabbed at the other's wrist with his free hand.

"If all of that's true," he'd said to them, "then I'd still exist elsewhere, wouldn't I?"

In the same motion, Yukki drew back his hand gripping the weapon, then jabbing forward and embedding the metal in Hide's gut. Rika cried out.

"That is to say, I'd still be waiting for someone at home… right?"

He twisted, pulled, and stabbed him again. And again. And again. Blood spattered Yukki and further mottled his face. Rika stared, motionless – the poor armadillo had since jumped from her arms and fled somewhere floors beneath them.

At the fifth stab, Hide grabbed Yukki's wrist before he could yank the knife back out again, holding him there. He moved to slash at Yukki's throat, but was caught again at the wrist. The cloaked one held that stone blade centimeters from the flesh of his neck.

Back then, Shintaro had looked at Rika with concern. He hadn't felt good at all about such a conclusion, positive or not. But Rika only stared into Hide, whose gaze was unwavering. "I need to know," he said.

"Worry not," said Rika. She closed her eyes, and Shintaro swallowed. "All that you've said is true… That is so."

Yukiteru's blue eyes met the brown of Hide's, and the dark one smiled before jerking Hide towards him, tilting his head so the stone merely skimmed his neck while he embedded his own blade deeper into the other's abdomen. Twisting Hide's arm, the blond dropped his weapon unwillingly as the bones of his forearm strained at the pressure. The moment his opponent was unarmed Yukki released that wrist and grabbed for his throat, shoving him to the ground of the rooftop with gravity on his side.

Hide choked in pain at the impact, but did not cry out. Shintaro and Konoha both were still with terror. Rika brought her hands to her mouth, stifling her own horror while Yukki smiled a blank smile at his victim.

A-ya, his cruel expression unfit for his face, merely walked up and stepped hard on the arm that was still gripping Yukki's wrist, breaking it. Hide gave a gurgling sort of wheeze as he released his hand. The knife was removed, and the blond barely had a chance to slow him down when Yukki sliced at his throat like he had done to Rin.

"Ah, not deep enough," said Yukki mildly. "Oh well. You'll die soon anyway, Hide-kun." He looked at A-ya meaningfully, who seemed about to end him by simply crushing his esophagus under his shoe. "Really, it's enough."

A-ya hesitated, then looked to Rika again. Something felt very wrong again. Was it because Yukiteru had done the killing? He needed to kill Rika….

Before he could make the decision to move, he felt a hand at his ankle and felt a jolt through his system. He thought his throat said, " _You filthy brat,_ " as he pulled his leg away from Hide. Looking down he saw his face, his chin running red, a smile on his lips. This scared him, he thought, but it was swallowed by bloodlust.

 **Snap out of it!**

He turned sharply, blocking a kick from Seidou Takizawa just in time. Konoha lunged forward in the corner of his vision, but Yukiteru swiped at him with his knife and began a scuffle between them alone, leaving A-ya to Seidou.

Behind Seidou, Kaneki had gone to his knees at Hide's side, rushing to rip the strap of the medical bag, pulling it from his childhood friend, hastily rummaging to find something, anything to help him. He stopped only when he felt Hide's hand to his cheek. Looking at him, he was still smiling, his eyes glazed. He tried to speak, but choked instead on his own fluid, thick and obstructive. All he could manage was an assuring look, willing Kaneki to understand his apology, and his will for him to continue.

Kaneki didn't notice his own eyes spilling, but he knew what came next. He didn't want it to. He lowered the gauze, dropping it and raising a hand to Hide's.

He hated the sunset. It was always stained red, and oh, how dark the world became come nightfall. If Hide was the sun, and he the moon, he didn't wish for the sun to set only for him to shine. It was, in fact, the last thing he'd ever want.

But the sun always sets at the end of the day. Even as Kaneki held onto Hide, bowing his head with tears dripping onto Hide's marred chest… Even as he held him, begging with mind and soul not to let him leave… No matter how desperately he held onto him, he'd always slip away.

And he did.

Kaneki felt Hide's life slip through his fingers like grains of sand – (can I not save _one_ from the pitiless wave?) – and his body grew heavy without the lightness of his bright soul.

"Please…"

He was deaf to the conflict around him. The one he wished to protect most he had failed to. What was left? Had Hide really thought that Kaneki would find purpose after this? There was nothing, nothing at all… The night had come without him, and the clouds were thick. Where were the stars? They were millions and millions of miles away anyway, no matter how close they look. The man on the moon is lonely after all, and he will always, always be alone…

The sun may give him warmth – the moon cannot shine at night without the sun… but he's always so far away…

"Please no… No…"

This was it. It was all there was. It truly was…

" _No_ …"

…a tragedy, huh?

* * *

Surely that's how it's always made to be.

" _No_ …"

Yato was bent over Nora's body, denying the loss over and over again. He had remained like this for some time, all else silent. Izaya stared down at him, his being devoid of everything. He showed nothing.

"You— _you_ …" He couldn't finish.

Izaya didn't answer at first. "My apologies… I can't seem to bring myself to feel sorry."

Yato's eyes flashed as he glared up at the impassive informant.

"Do you know what she did? Have you pieced it together yet, or are you still too stubborn to see it? Hah?"

"Sh…shut up…"

"Then you _do_ know? That Nora here was the one who killed your precious Hiyori?"

"I—I know, I know it already… Stop…"

"If you know it, then you should understand that ending Nora was ultimately the 'revenge' you were seeking… right?" His eyes narrowed to slits. "You understand that, right?"

" _But she didn't deserve to die!_ " he snapped.

Izaya remained impassive. "Then, neither did Hiyori, did she?"

"Of course not—it was bad, it was wrong, but she didn't _think_ so… she thought she was helping… so she didn't sin, or else I—I'd have felt it sting; she would have _stung_ me if—if she had done something wrong, so—but does that make it okay? Is it 'right'? Not okay, it _isn't_ … I… I do want Hiyori back… But Hiiro, also… is like a sister to me, I… And—" He choked on a sob, clutching tightly at his chest. "Nobody… deserves—to die."

"Tell that to Twelve," Izaya answered coolly. "I'm sure he'd appreciate it. Celty-san too. And, oh, Minene? How many people have you killed in this game, exactly? How many have you killed in the long span of your cruel life—?"

" _I don't want to hear it from YOU!_ " Yato righted himself, sitting up and properly glowering at his rival. "I don't want to hear you preaching to _me_ about morals – you, who cares the _least_ for anyone else's well-being besides your own!"

Izaya looked at him coldly, a slight frown curving his mouth. Yato knelt there, his breath unsteady, his cerulean eyes gleaming heatedly in the dim violet lighting. "Am I a villain to you, Yato?" he said eventually. When he didn't answer, Izaya only continued, "I think the villain must surely hold more compassion than anyone else. _I_ love intrinsically, and therefore don't want, don't _need_ love from anyone else! Right?" Yato didn't answer, still, and Izaya's expression darkened. "But I'm not a villain, Yato. Maybe I'm _your_ villain, but I'm not pure evil. Selfish, maybe. Cowardly for sure. A fool indeed. That was why you didn't kill me, right? Because you knew that I _did_ need love, I _did_ need the connections I refused to acknowledge. You knew that leaving me alone and forgotten would make me suffer. A real villain wouldn't have fallen apart so… pathetically… so… _humanly—_ as I did. And if you know all that, you know that monster though I am, I'm still a human, too.

"Why was it you despised me, Yato? I just killed Nora, who had killed Hiyori. You wanted to avenge her death, didn't you? Though, I'll be honest… This wasn't a part of the plan. I tried to _kill_ you, Yato. Who would guess?" He laughed weakly, a sort of bitter chuckle. "I don't do the dirty work, do I, Yato? And even I, admittedly, am a bit disgusted with myself… Of course, I kept being accused as a 'killer,' but I don't kill people on my own. I watch from the sidelines. You know that well enough, don't you? I can tell by the look on your face… It all goes back to the fourth day here, doesn't it? Isn't all of this because you blamed me for Yukine's death?"

"You let him die," Yato growled, "and you know it."

"I do," Izaya said soberly. "And I don't know _why_. I think that's what bothers me most… But if you're god, and that's my greatest sin, how about I atone for my worst atrocity?" Izaya smiled a bit too eerily for Yato's comfort. "You cannot sin, as a god… at least, that's what you said. But how do you think Yukine would feel about seeing you now?"

He froze, then shriveled. "It wouldn't matter anyway."

"Is that really so? Here is what I really intended. I won't get into my disappointment with myself over what just transpired, but Nora was no great loss. She needed to go anyway. And seeing as she was the one who ended Hiyori… I find this to be incredibly fitting… Don't you think, Yato?"

Yato peered warily at the informant. "What, exactly… are you planning to do?"

"Exactly what I'm supposed to." He bent down, lifting the Prophet from the rubble at his feet. "When people make a mess, they're supposed to clean it up themselves." He stuck the blade in the ground, using it as a crutch for his crushed leg. Yato watched him turn around and begin hobbling away from him, towards the items pillar. "For a long time, I didn't do much cleanup. I like to watch things play out as they will, it's true… But being as involved as I am, I guess I'm the one who's acting on stage this time. This'll be my exception. You were right, Yato. I did hypothetically end a lot of lives… but it was indirect enough that I can't bring myself to feel guilty. Is that wrong of me, to be so desensitized to mortal lives? Hah… Probably.

"But you did show me what guilt felt like. New experiences; can I really complain? Like I said, you were right – it was what I deserved. And there were a lot of things I'd lost without realizing it… and coming to feel that loss… only to find it was me who brought it upon myself… It was admittedly jarring."

He stopped in front of the items pillar and looked back at Yato, who stared hopelessly back. "What's the point in telling me all this?" Yato asked him, his voice low and broken. "Did you really learn your lesson? Somehow I don't think so…"

Izaya laughed, just a bit. "Did you learn yours, Yato? Somehow I don't think so either. You still fell victim to your own past, and you still followed your repeating cycle of violence and remorse. Yes, Nora may have wanted to help you in her own way, but is it really worth it when so many other people get hurt in the process? Unless that doesn't matter to you anymore. Maybe you're desensitized too… Do you really think that everything you've done is just?"

"I—do," he said lowly.

"Would you tell Hiyori that?"

"She…" He lowered his head. "She never saw the real me… She was just… It was a temporary connection between her and someone she thought I was… I was allowed to pretend for a little bit, but…"

"You're saying that you deceived her?"

"…I…"

"Because then, doesn't that make _you_ the asshole here? You'd been so desperate to return to her from day one, Yato. And why, because she was the sole human that could remember you? Doesn't that mean something? I know what it feels like to be forgotten now – thanks for that, by the way." Yato frowned at the sarcasm. "But even more than being able to remember you, she also _believed_ in you, didn't she? She had _faith_ in you as a person. And don't tell me that that meant nothing because of your apparent deceit. From what I gather, you had been trying to leave your bloody past behind for a while even then, hadn't you? And she and Yukine gave you hope for the future."

"…S…stop talking…"

"There's something to be said about 'people,' whether they're humans or gods or spirits or ghouls… whatever. They're ever-changing. Always evolving. To not evolve would be truly abnormal. That's what makes everyone so interesting, right? That's what I believed, you know. History also repeats itself all the time; patterns are made. Maybe it's a contradiction, but to me, when people fall into patterns, it's less interesting. I like surprises, whether they're good or bad. _You_ fell into a pattern, Yato. I didn't see the starting point, but the end is the same as the beginning, so I can get a pretty good idea. You're thinking something like 'This is just in my nature,' or 'This was inevitable anyway,' right? 'I live only to take from others.' 'I'm only acting out who I was born to be.'"

Yato's jaw was set. "I said— _stop it_ …"

"Am I right, then?"

"Shut up, Izaya." Slowly, he got to his feet. "It doesn't matter whether you're right or not, alright? So be _quiet._ "

"Am I hitting a nerve? That means I'm close to the jackpot." Thinly, Izaya smiled. "Yato, you really are painfully human, for being a god. You're just as foolish as anyone else. Do you really _believe_ all that?"

Yato's eyes narrowed. "What's it to you?"

"What is it to _me_? Well, I guess I find it kind of ridiculous! Not that I'm any different. 'That's just who you are. You're that kind of cruel person, Izaya. You just can't resist watching things fall apart, no matter how hard you've worked to put it all together. Do you really think that that changed?' Cruel, really, for him to say that to me. Hah… But nature can be bested, sometimes. That is… only if you want to change. Don't go on and tell me otherwise, because who was it that convinced you that you, the God of Calamity, could become a god of fortune if you tried hard enough? Who were you the positive father figure to, even if your own father was one who only hurt you? Who was the one who tried to become your guidepost, your touchstone?" Yato opened his mouth to interject, but Izaya pressed on: "And who was the one you abandoned as soon as he was gone?"

" _Stop it…_ "

"I let him die," Izaya said coldly. "So I'll be the one to bring him back."

"What...? You can't be serious…" He took a step back.

"He's been waiting all this time. All you needed was to slow down and take a look around you. But you couldn't manage that, could you? Too swept up in despair, hatred, and regret."

" _Please don't…_ "

"This is what I need to do…" – he smiled again – "…and exactly what you deserve, too." He looked to the flickering selection screen of the items module. There was no silhouette – maybe that function had broken in the explosion. Yato's item was still blinking bright blue, throbbing with urgency: _Blessed Vessel._ "Aa… I'm sorry," he said softly, and selected it.

The bright light swathed the entirety of their small space – he thought he heard Yato protest as he moved to select it, but it had been too late by then. After the flash was another explosion of bright blue that seemed to originate from Yato, combining with the bright white. Izaya tried to shield his eyes and peer through the light at the same time to no avail. He settled with closing his eyes and waiting.

Yato felt gusts of wind circling him, the ceiling crumbling again directly above him but disintegrating with the energy expelled. In either hand was a shining bandaged sword, and his consciousness felt as though it would burst with a sudden presence; he was overwhelmed by the resounding given name _Yuki_ ; and most of all with a sudden sense of fear.

"R-release! _Release!_ " The swords flashed and left him, shaping into the form of the spirit Yukine. Yato staggered backwards. Yukine stood between his two teammates, flummoxed. Amber eyes wide, he took a moment to regain his bearings while his spiritual glow faded and blended into the purple-tinted shadows of this underground space. His solidity seemed so out of place. He wasn't meant to be here.

"W… whoa, did you _see_ that? Yato! I became two swords!" He turned excitedly to his master, eyes shining. Yato nodded stiffly, hands over his mouth. He couldn't look back at him. Yukine lowered his hands, bunched into energetic fists. "…Wait…" He was beginning to realize something was very wrong. "What…" – he looked around at Yato, then at Izaya standing at the pillar, expression sober – "…what happened? What's going on…?" He looked back at Yato. "That Yoh guy—are you… alright? I remember jumping in front of you, but… Why aren't you looking at me? Yato? Wh… where are we? Why's it so dark?" He looked at Izaya. "What's going on?"

Izaya's solemn expression yielded nothing. He looked away from the spirit, who turned back to Yato. Yato still refused to make eye contact. Looking down, he yelped and backed up into something, turning around only to see the heads of Hiyori and Ayano. "A—aa… Y…Yato, what is…? Is that who I…?" He couldn't finish his question. "What happened?" he said again, his voice cracking. "Nora—? What is she doing here…? Is she…?" He couldn't finish this question either. "…Guys…?"

The divide between them was one that could not be breached. No one spoke. They didn't look at him.

"How long… was I gone?"

Nothing. His voice was growing steadily weaker. More fearful. It was dark down here, and he was so confused…

"Where was I? What did I miss…?"

He was scared.

"How come… nobody's answering me?"


	67. The (Un)Veil

Kaneki remained hunched forward, numb to everyone and everything surrounding him. In the dark we make mistakes… and the night had come, though really it was just the clouds overhead obscuring the sun. He didn't feel the rain fall. He didn't hear the crackling of the still-burning building across the street, either.

All he felt was thick dread; despair running black through his bloodstream… and all he heard, all he heard was voices calling to him:

" _You failed at the mission,_ " said the cool female voice of Akira Mado. " _The death toll is already at three out here, and what's more – Nagachika…_ "

" _He's gone too, huh?_ " chirped Psyche. " _Just like Deli._ "

" _And didn't you think of him then?_ " added Delic. " _Didn't you think of how_ bad _it would be if he died, while I was the one dying?_ "

" _You couldn't protect him,_ " said Shinichi, voice hollow. " _Just let go. You know he's dead. You know he's dead, just like everyone else._ "

" _Just like everyone else,_ " repeated Shirazu. " _Kane-kun… why'd ya have to leave us behind? You came back, too late…_ "

" _You're late again,_ " murmured Roppi, his voice bitter and cruel. " _Not that I can really be mad; we both know I've had my share of being late to the party… Right, Kaneki?_ "

" _Wh-why is it… that you let Roppi die?_ " asked Tsuki.

" _It wasn't enough,_ " said Shinichi. " _It's never enough._ "

" _That's why you lost us,_ " came the voice of Touka, and Kaneki just about split in half from the pain of her memory. " _It's why you lost me… idiot._ "

" _Maybe if you'd stopped me from running away, Touka would be alive right now,_ " said Roppi's smiling voice. " _I never would have found the blade. Seidou would never have become a ghoul. But all you ever do is run away too, don't you? Don't you?_ "

" _You're nothing but selfish,_ " said Touka. " _You're not protecting others – you just don't want to be alone. Well look at you now! You can't protect_ anyone, _Kaneki._ "

"Can't… protect…" Kaneki spoke brokenly; his throat felt constricted; his vision blurred into hazy shapes and figures: the single image of Hide, still smiling but not breathing, so pale and yet so red.

Their voices solidified; they were not ghosts whispering, disembodied, to his own fractured spirit… Now they were beings closing in on him, all too real and all too asphyxiating.

"That's right," said Akira firmly. "You're not fit to be a leader."

"Why didn't you save me?" Touka.

"I finally wanted to live." Roppi. "So why'd you have to let me die?"

"You're not strong enough." Shinichi. "We're just so… weak."

"Not strong enough," Kaneki uttered. "…Hide…" It was so dark. Where'd the light go? He stared blankly into vivid crimson, blooming spider lilies over the flower bed he knelt in.

"Better if people like us are alone," said Shinichi. "Monsters like us."

"I mean, when all you do is leave others behind…," said Roppi.

"Kaneki… Where'd you go?" Kaneki felt Shirazu's hands tugging at his shirt, pulling at him in desperation. "Why can't I see you? Where'd you go?"

Frigid fingers at his throat, he could make out deep carmine, a red-trimmed black jacket—it was Roppi, clinging to his neck, red dripping from his fringes. Shirazu was digging into his eyes; Akira's hands were boring into his torso, into his gut; Shinichi was the one with a grip on his heart… And all of them were speaking, calling out and crying out and accusing him or begging him or—

His vision melted; looking into the sky he saw it blotted out, black-and-white, what ugly clouds… He became distinctly aware of the dome over them, and perceived thick black lines reaching for the sky – they were all caged here, what was this, their Hobby Room?

He tried to look around him and saw only obscure images – the young Reaper was cackling, child-like. He danced with the devil; lightning flashed red, yellow. The cogs of fate kept turning; a machine was crying out. A crimson figure sheltered a shining child. God laughed at them. The heavens wept.

He glanced about, panicked – the cacophony of voices from beyond the veil pierced through him, deafened him—the roar rose like a wave and crashed – they were a hellish symphony and a bittersweet siren's song all at once. Everything was clouded, where was he?

 _Let go, let me go!_ half of him screamed.

 _My fault, it's my fault,_ the other half wailed.

He fought to escape the clawed hands of the fallen; he was being strangled and torn apart, he needed to get out; nothing left to do but fight, keeping fighting— _who was the one who killed Hide?_

The voices screamed for him, he thought maybe he screamed with them. He was drowning in something thick and cold, fighting his way to the surface, reclaiming his body before it was torn to shreds, writhing in protest to the souls holding him down. So loud—so _loud_ , shut up; shut up!

 _I can't do this! I can't anymore! I can't!_ _I—!_

"Hey."

He felt a gentle hand at his shoulder. It was warm. He tried to clear his vision, and the visage of Hide came slowly into focus. He was smiling, still smiling, but he looked rather sad. Why was he sad? What was he doing here? Kaneki's thoughts were disjointed and confused.

" _Hi…de…?_ "

"Calm down, bud. It's gonna be okay. It's not like I didn't want to keep going with ya… but when this game ends, you can go back. I'll meet you there. You've just gotta go all out for a little bit longer, okay?"

" _B…but… I…_ "

"Really…" Hide sighed, lowering his hand from Kaneki's shoulder, bringing it into a fist and pulling it back.

"H-Hide?"

He punched Kaneki square in the face, and his head whipped to the side, his vision spinning. He looked back again to see not Hide there, but Seidou Takizawa, glaring pointedly at him.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" snapped the other half-ghoul, and Kaneki stared at him blankly. He vaguely felt the sensations of clawed hands digging into him dissipating. " _Snap out of it!_ "

"I…?" His ears tuned back into the sound around him. He looked behind Seidou to see Konoha facing A-ya and Yukiteru at once. Shintaro was trying to keep Rika behind him, looking paler than usual. Glancing down, he saw Hide lying still; he was still kneeling in a pool of his friend's lifeblood. "I-I…" He still could not maintain focus. He felt himself slipping again.

" _Jeez,_ almost goin' kakuja all of a sudden… Gimme some literature, asshole," snipped Seidou. "And calm the fuck down already. You know what to do."

"I… I…" Stumbling over his words, he still obeyed. "D… 'Do not ask… Reader… how my blood ran cold And my voice choked up with fear. I cannot write it: This is a terror that cannot be told. I did not die, and yet I lost life's breath: Imagine for yourself what I became, Deprived at once of both my life and death'…"

"What's that?"

"Dante's _Inferno_ … when the Poets reach the Center."

"Oh." Seidou rolled his eyes. "Well, glad to have you back. Told ya a nice punch to the face would straighten you out…" He looked to Kaneki, who was staring emptily downwards. "…Oi. Look here." When Kaneki did not respond, he knelt down in front of him, cupping the younger's cheeks and forcing him to look back. Kaneki's eyes had begun spilling over with helpless tears. Seidou clucked his tongue, eye narrowing. "Crying won't solve shit."

"I… I'm so…"

"Apologies don't do shit either," Seidou frowned. "Nagachika's dead." Kaneki tried to look away, but with an _oi_ , Seidou earned eye contact back. "I'm not tryna be a cynic this time. Life just tends to be stupidly sardonic. Okay? Roppi's dead, too, y'know. And that's actually my fault. Don't you remember? There's a difference between guilt and responsibility. There's no use just feeling hopelessly guilty. Instead, take responsibility and respect your friend by doing what you know he'd want you to. _End this fucking game._ You can work it out when you make it back. The only way to help him now is to make it outta here. And even if he won't be waiting after all's said and done, you've still got people around here – Shintaro? Konoha? Or did ya forget about 'em already?"

"I—no… I…"

" _Then get up_." Kaneki averted his eyes, and Seidou lowered his hands from his face, his own expression softening. "Only so many people can make it to the end. Hide wants you to be one of them. He's trying to pass on that will. For your own sake… for Hide's, and everyone else's, keep going. The ones that are still breathing need you."

Kaneki closed his eyes.

"C'mon. It's not gonna change either way—and for fuck's sake, don't go nuts on me, here. That's only gonna make things worse… Asshole."

He got to his feet, and Seidou followed after him. "I… know. Thank you."

"I just didn't wanna deal with you fuckin' up your own team," he mumbled.

Back in the midst of action, A-ya's head was swimming. Yeah, Seidou had left him for Kaneki, but not until after he'd managed to tear off his arm. The possessed clutched at his bloody shoulder socket, staring at the surreal image of his own appendage lying in front of him. He wasn't feeling very well, but with a, **That doesn't matter; keep going** , his body seemed to move of its own accord to kelp Yukiteru in fighting Konoha. He didn't feel as if he were fighting; rather, he felt as though he were observing someone else's experiences from a first-person perspective. His thoughts ran and tumbled around the one that had just died. Who was he? The way he smiled, was too familiar…

" _I am… so, sorry, A-ya…"_

Please, no.

" _You win."_

Please… _C-ta…_

That warm smile, and glassy eyes… Twelve gave him that look too, though his brown eyes were clear and he felt deeply of summertime. _"I do like you, A-ya,"_ he said. He'd had that warmth. Hadn't he? _"I can promise you, at least, that you are not helpless."_

He felt a tremor through him. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel.

He recalled the way Yukiteru's expression melted into relief after A-ya had been revived from his suicide. The feeling of Yukiteru's embrace as he clung tight to his raven-haired friend. _"I… I'm so glad you're okay…"_

Recalling how it felt to be stabbed by Yukiteru… Wasn't that what he had wanted? Wasn't this, too, what he yearned for? Either Yukiteru tearing him down or both of them tearing the world down, hands stained red? But then why was all of it so overwhelming?

A-ya was able to form questions, just barely, but no answers.

" _Come now, Vessel, why are you fighting so hard?_ " A-ya was mildly aware of his larynx voicing these words. The android that Kuroha used to possess, breathing hard, looked wearily but determinedly through orbs shining just as red. " _Don't you want your precious friends back? You can't have that… unl_ **ess we reset, right?** " A-ya began to catch up with himself, speaking again in sync with his possessor.

Konoha shook his head. "You… cannot be right."

" **And why not?** "

Konoha went to lunge for him, but Yukiteru cut him off, his aura one of placid certainty.

"Your goals are misplaced!" said Rika, her tiny voice projecting well in her own jaded resoluteness.

"Rika!" cried Shintaro, grabbing worriedly onto her shoulders as she stepped forward. He released her with a yelp as the goddess Hanyuu revealed herself, arms parted in confident stature.

"Even you, Demon, have strayed from your intentions!" accused the deity.

" _Oh, have I? How's that?_ "

"Wasn't it true that even _you_ wanted my vessel alive?" Hanyuu's resolve appeared to waver when A-ya's possessor only began to laugh a low chuckle that rose into a full cackle.

" _My dear little Goddess, pathetic thing you are! I was wrong about you, 'Princess.' Can't you tell? In this game, you are not royalty. Here, the royals are the ones who run the show!_ "

He glanced over at Konoha and Yukiteru – Konoha's eyes had flashed, he was looking over to where Seidou and Kaneki were. Yukiteru and him had palms pressed together. He noticed his distraction and glanced back at A-ya. He smiled. So did A-ya, albeit a smile of the demon more than himself. Yukiteru's eyes flickered.

" **And in order to reset the game…** " They made a move for Rika. Konoha realized it too late. Shintaro was faster, bringing Rika quickly behind himself – but he was an equally desirable target, he realized. Hanyuu shielded her eyes; this wasn't how it should go. Rika tried to protest in all of this split-second action time, but what could be done?

It was Yukiteru who jumped and kicked Konoha in his already injured stomach, freeing his hands and making the android stagger backwards. Gliding, he shot between Shintaro and A-ya, turning to his friend and spreading his arms.

Alarmed, A-ya skidded to a halt, bring his single arm back and staring with wide eyes and furrowed brow. What was Yukiteru doing?

"Stop," he said. His voice was firm and flat.

"Wh…what…" said A-ya, "…did you call dibs on them too… or something?" He tittered weakly.

Konoha approached quickly but kept his distance, unsure whether he should step in again or not.

"Yukiteru?" asked Shintaro, standing nervously behind him. "Uh… who's side are you on, exactly?"

"I'm on A-ya's side," said the cloaked one, and Shintaro tentatively took a step back, one hand to Rika's chest, keeping her behind himself. Konoha's eyes flicked from one person to the next.

Yukiteru was still facing A-ya. Why did he look as though he were facing an enemy? A-ya couldn't conjecture it. When they were, just a few moments ago… fighting together again… so…? While he'd already been feeling discomfort, this feeling was far worse. He began to experience more certainty in his decisions. "You're on… **our side, so why are you in our way?** "

"I can't let you kill them."

" **Why not?** **This isn't part of the plan.** "

"Sure it is." A-ya's tired eyes narrowed a bit. A frown pulled at his mouth. Yukki smiled an almost apologetic smile. "Just because I'm on your side doesn't mean that we have the same plan in mind. In fact, for me… everything's going _exactly_ as planned." Yukiteru's blue-eyed gaze travelled to the fallen Hide, and the medical bag with its items spilled out and strewn over the crumbling roof they stood on. His eyes came to rest on a makeshift walkie-talkie. He smiled. "You don't understand…" He made eye contact with A-ya again. "This game is fake, A-ya. Don't you remember?" Something stirred in A-ya's eyes, but it was extinguished as soon as it sparked. "So, no matter what it takes… Even if I have to fight you again, A-ya. Even if I have to kill you. Even if I have to die, too…" Yukiteru smiled hollowly. "I'm going to end the dream."

* * *

" _That's_ why," Yukki had said lowly, "you won't say a thing… Right, Izaya?"

Yukiteru was smiling coolly down at Izaya, eyes shining as ice. Amazingly, the informant began to laugh.

"Who would have thought that such a vicious and cunning look would suit you? Yukki…" Izaya got to his feet, then, and Yukiteru's eyes flickered. "You don't have to play that game with me, don't worry. Was it really necessary to be so cruel, though? Who was it that told you about Yukine, your texting pal? Really." Izaya shifted his weight to a more casual position, wrapping one arm over his bruised gut. His red-brown eyes shimmered, humored. "Now, what's your _real_ plan, Yukki?"

"I'd think that _you_ , of all people, would understand the concept of betrayal," Yukiteru said, cocking an eyebrow. "Do you really have such faith in me?"

"I have faith in what _I_ know is true." Izaya smiled a slightly less dead smile. Yukki almost thought that it may have reached his eyes. Just a little bit. "You still want the game to end, don't you? But only eight people can make it there…"

Yukiteru's smile faltered. "That's not—"

But Izaya waved him off. "It's okay. That show you just put up is good enough of a red herring for the game masters to keep."

The younger opened his mouth, closed it, and then shrunk under Izaya's piercing gaze. "Do you really think so?" he asked tentatively.

"I do." He flashed a short smile. "Now, Yukki, what _is_ it you have up your sleeve? I imagine that if only eight can make it out, there's no way that our entire group can make it – there's ten of us, after all… Not to mention, _you_ probably want to give a go at saving A-ya-kun."

"Well…" Yukki's eyes wandered away from Izaya's, and Izaya snickered.

"So, what, are you going to kill the ones you think don't need to make it?"

"It's the only way, isn't it?" he asked earnestly, leaning in suddenly. He still had that off glint in his eyes. "So, if it's betrayal, I can kill anyone that's in the way of ending the game. _Then_ we can have a happy ending."

"As cruel a plan as it is," said Izaya ("Is it really?" asked Yukki.), "it's definitely logical. A lot of the hero wannabes here would probably call it 'evil.' No matter what, you're wasting innocent lives in their eyes, so it's a rather antagonistic role you're putting yourself in, here. But you're not the only one that's thought of it… Hide-kun talked about it to me just this morning. Asked me what I thought would happen if Shintaro-kun died." Izaya laughed, and Yukiteru peered at him curiously. "If I'm right, anybody that knows about the previous routes of this game needs to make it to the end. That is to say… if Shintaro-kun or Rika-chan were to die, there would be a reset, one way or another."

"Then… Rika and Shintaro are, important," Yukiteru said thoughtfully.

"Kuroha, too, counts as a player," he added, and the fourteen-year-old looked at him. "A-ya-kun can't use items modules anymore because Kuroha was in Group 5, originally… and only one group can select at a time. Under that logic, he has to count."

Yukki nodded. "Huh… Alright. That makes sense. If we can get rid of Kuroha, then… And you and I will make it, plus A-ya, Rika, and Shintaro, that makes… um, five." He paused, frowning. "…What's that look?"

"You don't know for sure that I will make it, do you?" Izaya closed his eyes, shrugging fluidly. "We don't know what the outcome will be for that face-off between Yato and I, hm? More importantly…" He opened his eyes again, then blinked at Yukiteru's serious face.

"Truth be told, we don't know that A-ya and I will make it either. If we can't win together, I'd rather die together instead." His voice rang hollow but sincere.

Izaya was quiet at first. "Whichever outcome is resulted for you… It's a very bold move, Yukiteru. It's really a shame I won't be able to watch your show."

"You have your own to perform," he answered. They exchanged a look, smiling thinly.

"Right you are, Yukki. Hah… break a leg."

"You too, Izaya. I'm sure… that you've got something worth watching up your sleeve too."

"I told you," he shrugged again, "I'll be raising hell _and_ putting out the flames. Cheers to that, Yukki."

He laughed slightly, warm and true. "Cheers."

* * *

"It's been about six days," said Izaya. He was the first to answer.

Yukine was relieved by the broken silence. "Six days? What…?"

"You protected Yato from Yoh-kun. He had killed you instead. That was… well, six days ago. It was just Yato and I after that."

"I died?" Yukine was flabbergasted. "Wait… I mean, I died _again_? Then, how…?"

"I'm not sure how that works," Izaya shrugged. "You became a Blessed Vessel, whatever that means… And that's just going by the term on this items module here, so…"

Yukine looked to Yato for an answer, but he was still eerily silent, his hands over his mouth.

"Both of you…" commented Yukine slowly, "…are pretty beat up."

"Oh, certainly," Izaya chirped. "You missed quite a lot."

"Yeah." Yukine laughed nervously, eyes flicking back to Yato again. "I mean, his scarf's gone missing. This has to be serious business."

Izaya laughed heartily, and Yukine's mouth twitched. "Right you are, Yukine-kun! I'd almost forgotten about that thing! He must have lost it when fighting someone or another…"

"Right! Is everyone else okay?" Yukine stepped forward. "Where's Kaneki and the rest? Seidou? Shirazu? Roppi? Shintaro…?" He paused. "A-and where did these bodies come from? Where _are_ we? Can I get some real explanations, here? And quick—this place is really freaking me out…"

"One thing at a time, Yukine-kun," chuckled Izaya, remaining oddly friendly. "Sadly, Shirazu and Roppi haven't made it this far… Kaneki, Seidou, and Shintaro were alright, I guess, last I saw them… Mind you, they're in a fight right now, so who knows?" He shrugged. "A day after you were killed by Yoh, the survivors of a female rendition of these games came in to join the fun. Sadly, Hiyori-chan was not one of the survivors."

Yukine paled. "Then… behind me… That means, she… Hiyori, is…?" He looked at Yato, who still refused to respond. Then back at Izaya. "That… can't be, can it?"

"Since your demise, and since finding out about Hiyori's death, Yato here has gone down an interesting path indeed."

"What…do you mean?"

"You see Nora lying there, don't you?" Yukine stiffened. "She's dead now, but as she was one of the surviving members of the female game…"

"You mean to say," he said, voice taut, "that he used Nora?"

"More than that. Yato has since killed perhaps seven or so innocent players in-game, using her as a weapon."

"He…" Yukine took a step back. "No, he… he wouldn't… do that… What, are you saying you… and him…?"

"A day after you died, he'd already split off from me," Izaya explained calmly.

Another step back. "That's not… Wh—why should I be listening to you, anyway? Shizuo wasn't lying when he said you were a heartless bastard, you know! You—you're lying to me." Another step. "It wouldn't be the first time! We all know that you're a liar—Yato wants to help people! He just doesn't know _how_ , so he—he just needs a little bit of help believing in himself, that's all!"

Izaya remained stoic through all these accusations. Just slightly, his brow furrowed, but Yukine couldn't tell whether it was apologetic or annoyed. "Yukine-kun, isn't it always the truth that's most cruel? I'm only doing as I always do… and telling it like it is. I just refuse to sugarcoat it. Without you, and without Hiyori, Yato went back to his life of bloodshed. He told you, after all… he was born as a God of Calamity."

"But you always twist things! All of that—the killing, and that…" Yukine shook his head. "…That was the past, not the now. What makes you think I believe _you_? I—I trust him. I trust Yato, so…" He looked at the god imploringly. He couldn't stand the stillness of Hiyori's empty self at his back. He needed somebody. He needed Yato. He was all he had. "—So tell me he's lying. Stand up for yourself, won't you? You wouldn't go back on everything like that… You wouldn't!" Yato appeared to shrivel and shrink, silent. Izaya merely gazed into Yukine as he had been. "…You didn't… did you?" Nobody answered him. " _Did you?_ "

"I—" Yato choked on his words.

Izaya leaned his weight into the module, watching patiently. Yato could do one of two things, here. He could lie and claim innocence. If Yukine believed him, Izaya would be the criminal here, and would likely be sentenced to death. But Yato had a lot of guilt for someone who claimed he could do no wrong… It was now up to him whether he could face it and confess. Izaya was ready for either outcome.

Yato sank to his knees before his Shinki, crumbling under his shame. Yukine straightened. "I knew, from the beginning…" Yato began slowly, his voice broken, "…that the truth of who I was by nature would drive you away. I was birthed from tragedy, and so it's all I… ever…" He sank lower, pressing his palms to the uneven debris in front of him. "I thought it was because of that… because of who I was… that I lost you. You and Hiyori both. And—" His tears glistened purple in the dim lighting as they fell to the floor, his head bowed low. "I was so scared—to tell you who I was, and you—were still at my side… Yukine… a Blessed Vessel…? No one… _no one_ … has ever transformed for me… It only happens ever so rarely, when a Shinki risks their very name for their god… Only when they are truly, truly loyal…"

Yukine's eyes widened. Was it that special? But the way this was going… He didn't know that he wanted to hear this all the way through.

"But it was me—who betrayed you… Yukine… I'm—so… sorry… Izaya… he—he's not lying—this time…"

' _This time'…_ Izaya drew his lips into a thin line, but thinking on it, conceded his point.

"You mean to say… you _did_ use Nora?" Yukine asked slowly.

"I—did…"

"And… using her… you killed handfuls of players?"

"I did…"

"And… you basically turned away from literally _everything_ we worked on together?"

Yato tensed in his position. Yukine was starting to sound angry now. He couldn't bear looking up at him. "…Yes, I did," he said, strained.

"So, wait." He raised his hands in a gesture of exasperated confusion. "You did _all of that?_ "

"I—"

"C'mon, you've gotta be _kidding_ me! I can't leave you alone for a _minute,_ can I?! This is ridiculous!"

Yato lifted his head, tentatively confused. "…I…?"

"Man, I knew you were a pretty sucky master, but _jeez_!" He smacked his forehead. "You're hopeless, I swear. What am I supposed to do with you…? How do you expect to become a god of fortune like this?"

Yato's eyes flashed. He looked away.

Yukine's shoulders sank. "Tell me, Yato…"

"…What?"

"Were you really able to forget about me that easy?" His voice was so small, saturated with hurt, perhaps dashed with fear. Yato turned quickly back again, his expression one of wide-eyed pain.

Izaya, at the pillar, blinked in mild interest.

"N-no!" said Yato. "Yukine, that's not how it was at all! I thought of you all the time… But I—I thought I'd lost you…" He closed his eyes against the memory. "And—and it hurt…"

Yukine's eyes softened, and he sighed, averting his gaze. "Is that the truth?"

"I-it is… Please, believe that much…" Opening tired orbs, he brought a hand to his chest, sitting up. "This pain, right now… Is it yours, too? I did that, huh…"

Yukine could do nothing but stare nowhere, absorbing everything that this meant, all that he'd missed. Dying once was a tough enough pill to swallow, but twice? Come on… And coming back to this was hardly the welcome back anyone could hope for. This was nothing but a nightmare… But wasn't it also true that if he were to let himself get too distressed, he would hurt Yato in the process? And obviously he was an utter mess… Even if Yukine's first instinct was to push Yato away, he knew it would only match Yato's grim expectations and the cycle of isolation would be complete for both of them.

"Alright, alright…" He took a deep breath. "Then… Yato…" Yukine turned back to the god kneeling on the ground. "What'll you do from here?"

He blinked. "Wha…?"

Yukine crossed his arms over his chest. "Obviously I put too much faith in you – you can't take care of yourself at all. But now what? What're you gonna choose? Because as your Shinki, I'm not gonna go around killing everybody. And I'm not sorry for that."

"I… didn't really… expect…"

"Are you gonna keep to it, or are you gonna apologize to the people you've hurt and move forward?"

"How can I…? I'm only good at killing… so… Maybe it's better, if I…"

"Well." Yukine huffed, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm your moral guidepost, remember? Play to your strengths. If you really are only good at killing – and I'd believe it – then, well… kill the bad guys. Kill the demons. The ones that need to die. If that's how you bring people happiness, so be it! But… that's up to _you_ , Yato. Not me… And…" He paused. He didn't want to say the next statement for fear that it might be actualized. "…And if you're going to keep killing pointlessly, I'd rather you release me and leave me nameless."

Yato opened his mouth, and closed it again. Yukine didn't dare breathe, nor think. He was plagued with a great fear: that Yato would release him after all, and abandon him for real. Was he, Yukine, enough? He was terribly aware of Hiyori's body behind him. He didn't want to think about it too much. Even if they made it home, would she be gone? But such hopelessness could not be what he resonated with here. If he wasn't strong enough now, Yato would leave him, too. But the choice rested with Yato, and if he chose violence over Yukine… then…

The silence stretched across the divide, and was breached by a simple, "Please…" Yukine watched, tensely waiting on an answer. "Yukine… I want you to show me the way."

Yukine beamed at him, overcome with relief. " _That's_ the Yato I know!"

"Well… that's…"

Applause rang through their small space, and both of them turned to look at Izaya, whose face had split into a smile. "There we are – what a show, what a show!"

Gradually, Yato regained his footing. "Izaya…"

"Hm?"

"…Thank you."

Izaya waved him off. "There's no need to thank me. I'm just being selfish as always, you know that's how I am. If this hadn't happened, I'd have been dead, probably. Nothing I do is out of the 'warmth of my heart' or whatever it is. You know – I'm a selfish machine, a puppeteer, a lying bastard as all~"

Yato stared at him for awhile, then cocked his head. "Nah… You're just an asshole."

Izaya's eyes flickered. "I suppose you're right… Hah…" He leaned heavily on the module, running a hand through his mussed hair. The adrenaline had worn off. "Speaking of which… how're you gonna face everyone up top? So you've made up with Yukine-kun, but how will Kane-kun feel about you now? Seidou-kun? What about… Yukki…?" He laughed weakly. "Yukiteru, that is… Dunno that Yukine-kun has met 'im…"

Yukine furrowed his brow, stepping forward. "Izaya?"

Yato's eyes hazed over. Izaya did have a point, didn't he? Would he really be forgiven by the other players, now…? There was no guarantee…

"You're in the clear, kid," Izaya said to Yukine. "But Yato, what can we say…? I've done this much, but… say, if I… don't make it outta this rubble, you'd have some explaining… to do, eh, Yato? Wouldn't that—be ironic? What a sardonic tragedy—hah…" His good leg buckled, and he collapsed sideways onto his uninjured knee, the Prophet lying discarded at his side. "All for nothing in the end, eh…?"

"Are—you okay?" asked Yukine, rushing over to him and bringing a hand to his back in concern. He looked him up and down. "You've lost a lot of blood; jeez… _Yato_ , did you do that?"

Yato stiffened. "Not all of it!" he cried, defensive. He pointed at Izaya accusingly. " _He_ blew this place up!"

"Where even _are_ we?"

"A hospital! We're in a hospital!"

" _Why_ are we in a hospital?!"

"I—I got slammed into here, don't ask me!"

"It's because… of the morgue," Izaya said, smiling his old cruel smile. "Hiyori-chan was down here… And I thought it best to have your whole group together, eh…? Maybe it'd bring him to his senses, you know?"

Yukine stiffened, frowning. "That's…" He lowered his head. "…Yeah, I guess… that makes sense, huh? In a crappy sort of way."

Izaya looked tiredly to Yukine, smile dissipating. "…Hm…" He looked at the module without expression. "It really is something… to have you back, Yukine-kun. As for bringing you back… Under the circumstances, you still have every reason to hate me. Yato, too."

"Oh, come on," Yukine frowned, glaring at him. "You're my teammate, aren't you?" He sighed heavily. "And after everything _Yato's_ done, do you really think I can say I hate you just for being so annoying?"

"I wasn't saying I was _annoying_ —"

"Well, you are."

They looked at one another pointedly.

Yukine rolled his eyes. "And yeah, I can be mad at you for being cruel, but I'm trying not to hate anybody, okay? So drop it."

"That can be considered a weakness, Yukine-kun," Izaya began, but Yukine cut him off with an, "I don't think so. Hatred is poisonous, y'know."

Izaya paused. Then, "Hmm, right you are, Yukine."

Yato watched them interact, distant. All that Izaya had said was ringing in his ears. What could he possibly do now? There were only so many players left. Did he really deserve to make it to the end? Or rather… would everyone even _allow_ him to? There would undoubtedly be conflict.

Rika, the child vessel to a goddess – well, there was no question that he would be looked down upon for falling as far as he had… And just the way she had so earnestly believed in him in his recovery… only for him to slaughter her teammates…

And Shintaro? How did he think of him, now, he wondered? He recalled his look of horror when he first attacked his group – where was it but outside this very hospital?

He thought of Seidou, screaming in outrage after he'd slashed at the auburn-haired kid – that was right, had that one made it…? Probably not… Not to mention all of the chasing around Seidou had done with him. The best he'd probably think of him now was as a tasty snack.

Of Kaneki at his back: _"The truth is, I wanted to save you. But we can't do that anymore…. At this point in time… all I can do is kill you."_ Perhaps Kaneki wouldn't want to end him, but with all that had happened, would it really be the logical conclusion to resort to execution? Maybe so…

He thought of Yukiteru with some pain. _"It's better that you pretend to be asleep, Yato."_ The coldness in his voice. The certainty. " _Because if you were to show you were awake, I might decide to kill you after all."_ Yukiteru knew better than anyone that Yato couldn't be trusted. What was he doing now? Had he gone along to the path of darkness, or was he still treading in light after all? If he had crossed the line, it would surely be Yato's fault…

" _Can I make a wish?"_ How brightly the moon had shone. And how it had reflected, glittering like starlight in Yukiteru's blue orbs. His air was that of a hopeful child. How naïve he was, but how close he was to breaking…

Yato had said to him, _"You wish to be at his side, don't you?"_ He thought of A-ya, a child now having crossed the line, his soul corrupted by a demon… _"May your fates…"_ Yato had said he would grant that wish. And what had he done? _"…be verily intertwined."_ He'd said that to Hiyori, too – a promise that they would remain a part of one another's lives. And what had become of her? He'd failed her, and so…

" _You'll never be a hero."_ Isn't that what he had said to A-ya? Wasn't it he, Yato, who had driven him to the ground and prompted his possession? Then, both of those kids… A-ya and Yukiteru both… Their demise, would be his fault, wouldn't it? Couldn't he do anything at all? Yukiteru cared too much about A-ya, it seemed, and Yato had killed almost everyone else he had… And A-ya was too corrupt to merely cut the demon out… even with a Blessed Vessel, no, it shouldn't be possible. Maybe he could save him by cutting all of his ties, but then even Yukiteru would forget him, and how would that grant his wish? Well…

A female voice greeted his ears, soft and warm: "For that child… You can only get inside his head anymore… huh? It's a thought."

He blinked, bemused. It sounded like the girl he'd met in that vivid dream… Ayano? He looked over at her body, but it was as still as it had been. Hollow, he looked to Hiyori. He took a deep breath. _So that's it, huh…?_

"Oi," he said, and Yukine and Izaya both looked at him. "I know what it is I gotta do." _A-ya never wanted to hurt anyone either… And what was the first thing he said to Yukki but, 'Don't worry, I won't leave your side'?_ "But I'm gonna need your help, Yukine."

Yukine got back to his feet, right beside Izaya. He nodded curtly. "Of course!"

"Now… we should try to make it outta here, huh?" He brought his arms around himself, slipping just a little into his old persona – it was so much easier with Yukine around. "This place is so dark and cramped – I can hardly breathe, here!"

"No—no kidding," Yukine mumbled, all too aware of how dark it was.

"Well! Why don't we test out those Blessed Vessel powers and blow our way outta here, huh?"

The Shinki gripped his hands into fists. Determination. "Alright!"

"Ah… you know…" said Izaya, chuckling with a slight hitch, "…if you just 'blow your way out,' you know you could crush me in the process, right? I hope it isn't that you still want to kill me, Yato-san…"

Yato just smiled at him. " _Sekki._ " In a flash, Yukine's dual blades were in either of his hands. Oh, how he missed this feeling… It felt like so long ago, somehow…

He stepped in front of Izaya, turning his back to him and grinning crookedly. "I've got you, ya filthy bastard. I won't let you die just yet. Don't want everyone killing me right off the bat, you know."

"Gee, I'm touched," Izaya answered drily.

Yato widened his stance. "Yukine, give it all you've got! Show me how amazing you are!"

" _Right!"_ he answered in spirit, and with blades glowing bright white, he slashed upwards with all his might.

* * *

 **Guest:** Thank you very much for the review! I am pleased to hear that someone feels bad for Izaya Orihara. I had plenty of fun writing about that man, and even if it took as long as it did, I'm happy to have broken him effectively. I'm also happy to know you were just as humored with Seidou's return as I was in writing it! Bless that lost boy; he's very important to me. I doubly thank you for spreading this (extensive) tale to your friends. I hope that they may enjoy it too!

 **Excited Guest:** Poor Kaneki indeed. As we can see in this chapter, he's not faring well without his greatest companions. (Wowie, I really went and killed both Touka and Hide, didn't I? Very unfair of me.) At least Seidou's still kicking? But more blood is yet to be shed... We'll see who makes it. As for the items pillar for G6, Yato's selection wasn't 'Blessed Vessel' until Yukine had died. Way back in the beginning, it was mentioned that Yato's selection was 'weapon upgrade' which Yukine had gotten jealous about, thinking a different Shinki would replace him. In all reality, using that probably would have made him into a Blessed Vessel earlier on, but then he wouldn't be able to be brought back. So... let's be glad that didn't happen, haha.  
...Yato really does deserve a nice slap, doesn't he? Yukine truly is taking this surprisingly well. In any case, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and may you take care until the next update!


	68. Inside

**Happy New Year, everyone!**

* * *

 _End… the dream…?_

Kuroha jumped on the opportunity. **He lied, little master. He lied to you. He doesn't want a reset at all. He doesn't want to meet you in the next world, and the next, and the next. He wants to end it – he wants to end** _ **you**_ **.**

"Yukiteru…" A-ya spoke slowly, each syllable drawn out as if he had trouble getting them out. He was sodden, already, in the rain.

 **What a shame it is… A real pity. Your wish to be at his side cannot be granted anymore, it's no longer possible… not here, that is. The only way to make him understand is to meet him again in the past. You can have that! You can have that bliss!** _ **In the next world…**_

"You… you **'re not on our side, after all…** "

Yukiteru shook his head. "I don't expect you to understand now… But I am on your side, A-ya. I'll always be on your side. You were… my first friend." He spread his arms. "I don't want you to suffer anymore. And I don't want to repeat the same thing over and over again… That's not enough for me. I want to meet you in the future, not the past. But also…"

He was cut off by his friend's distorted screaming: " **TRAITOR! YOU'RE A TRAITOR!** " A-ya lunged for him blindly, and Yukiteru just barely blocked him with his leg.

"A-ya—"

" **DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE,** " he said, deranged. Grimacing, Yukiteru shoved him towards the railing, which A-ya jumped over easily.

Yukiteru jumped after him, floating gently to the ground. Good. He was away from Rika and Shintaro now. Seidou and Kaneki ran over to Konoha.

"I'm sorry we're late… What's the situation?" Kaneki asked urgently.

"Rin is gone, too," Konoha spoke with trembling voice. The rain almost drowned him out. "I can't tell… whether Yukiteru is a good person or not."

"Yukiteru is the one that killed Rin and Hide," said Rika, all-important.

Kaneki darkened.

"But," added Hanyuu, "both of them were—were people that never have made it…"

"And Yukiteru appears to know this," said Rika. "He wants the game to end, I think… but his ways of doing so are very… questionable…"

Kaneki, distracted by confusion, stared at Hanyuu and blinked. He'd never gotten to see her before then. "Ah…" He touched his chin. "Nice… to meet you."

"O-oh, likewise," she answered nervously.

"And now," said Konoha, "those two are fighting."

"What should we _do?_ " cried Shintaro.

" _You_ should stay outta the way," snipped Seidou. He paused. "…Rika, too."

"Neither of you can get hurt," Kaneki agreed. "We know that now…" He almost looked back behind him, but thankfully stopped himself. Best not to look at Hide for now… he couldn't handle it. He decided instead to focus his eyes into the haze of rain; how the city beyond them blurred into gradients of grey.

"So do we help out Yukiteru, or what?" asked Seidou.

"But he… killed Rin…," said the android, distraught. "H-he killed Hide…"

"We need to kill A-ya while we have the chance," said Kaneki plainly. His tone was hollow. "It looks like Yukiteru has the same goal in mind, so we can figure out what to do about him afterwards."

"Alright, fine…," grumbled Seidou.

"You can remain with Rika and Shintaro," Kaneki told him, and he stiffened, frowning deeply. "Keep them safe. It's convenient that the two of them are fighting each other now, but we don't know how destructive they'll be… or how fast the situation between them will change again."

"…Not to mention," said Shintaro, "A-ya may try to make a move to try and kill one of us, since we're apparently just big reset buttons ready be activated."

" **He won't lay a hand on you,** " Seidou said lowly, and Shintaro sweated nervously.

"Um… yeah, thanks… D-don't forget about Rika… Please…"

"And Konoha," said Kaneki, "how are you doing? Are you alright?"

"I am," the android nodded. "I need to end this, with that snake." He looked at Shintaro, and caught his eye. Just slightly, Konoha smiled. Konoha didn't often express emotion like that. Furrowing his brow, the NEET couldn't help but break into a sincere grin, albeit weak.

"Please, Konoha…," he said. "I… I don't know that you should… I don't want you to… Well… I just…"

"Shintaro," said Konoha, "even if this is all I can do for you… For me, who doesn't understand anything, who knows nothing and feels nothing, I can at least know that I want you to see next summer. I would like to meet you there, if I can. You are a 'friend,' and for that, spending time here with you has fulfilled my wishes. Being with Roppi, and Kaneki, and Seidou… With everyone, that has been so nice. Whether they've made it this far or not… But this person; this… bad snake that is making people suffer, I know that it's something that happened because I happened, too. If I can do anything to help stop that, I will. And going to do this, too… for you, as a 'friend,' if I am saving you somehow, I'm happy no matter what happens. Because that's what I want."

"Konoha…"

Seidou, frowning into nowhere, didn't seem all too impressed by his speech.

"For something with a so-called artificial soul," said Hanyuu quietly, "I think, perhaps, that you have found your own existence. Even if you weren't real, once, you have become so." She smiled, gentle. "Your soul… I can sense it. Though you are no Child of Man… You are not empty, Konoha."

"Yeah, really…" Shintaro rubbed at the back of his head. "You definitely have feelings – you just… express them differently. But even I can tell… and I'm bad at that too."

Rika was nodding happily.

"Much as it was with Shinichi," Kaneki smiled sadly, "you do have a heart. Maybe our bodies don't determine whether we are 'heartless'… Or 'monsters,' for that matter."

Seidou shifted, but did not contribute.

"Is that all so…?" Konoha blinked. "Thank you… I will think about all of this." Again, his mouth upturned. "I will hold it inside me, now."

"Oh, Konoha, please…" Shintaro stepped forward slightly. "…Be careful…"

The albino nodded, assuring. "The rain… is nice."

Shintaro sighed. "With everything else I've gone through, I can't say I mind it…"

"Then, Konoha, you and I," Kaneki said matter-of-factly. "Seidou…"

"I know, I know," he said grudgingly. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of Shintaro and the kid."

"Alright," said Kaneki. Everyone gave a sort of wordless exchange between them all. Konoha and Kaneki jumped down together.

Yukiteru had landed gently on his bare feet in the empty street. "It's fine, A-ya," he said. "I can stay unforgiven."

"I can forgive—your death, because when we go back **to the beginning, everything will be** _ **okay**_ **again!** Right?"

"I see no point in replaying the same game again. But…" A-ya charged, and they clashed, raindrops scattering around them. "…I don't wanna make it to the end without you, either. To be honest, right now… Living without you…" He smiled a closed-eye smile at his corrupted friend. "…I'd rather die, A-ya." A-ya bounded into the air, and Yukiteru followed him. They tumbled over one another in the air. "Please," said the cloaked one, "I don't—I don't want to kill you…!"

" _ **Then DIE!**_ " The possessed spun, slamming the heel of his foot into Yukiteru, eyes flashing with the power of negation. Yukki's defying of gravity failed him, and he plummeted into the asphalt below him, A-ya coming down on him before he could even regain a sense of himself. "You don't—don't want to kill me? But you're trying, aren't you? **The end of the game is the end of us! Do you WANT that?!** It's just like—just like C-ta, huh, Yukiteru? Huh?! 'Cause he didn't wanna kill me, did he? WELL, HE DIDN'T. I killed HIM. I can do that to you too, Yukiteru! I can!" Hand to Yukki's throat, A-ya's face split into a bone-chilling grin. " _I've waited,_ " said the demon, " _to be able to face you like this, Observer. Isn't this—delightful?_ " Yukiteru got out a choked noise as A-ya's grip tightened. " _This is the result… of your tragic story. This is where 'love' gets you… Fool._ "

"You're—the one… who made it—this way," he choked out, expression twisted into a grimace. "If your future… is set in stone… I'm the one—who can rewrite it—right…? No matter what, we'll… see one another—again… I know it… And… we can—watch the stars together, again, can't we? And we won't… be lonely…"

A charge went through A-ya; his grip loosened on his neck. Memories of their shared time flitted through his mind and were drowned in inky black. Yukiteru smiled up at him knowingly. " _You filthy brat,_ " the demon spat, shoving him further into the ground, his grip constricting again at his throat.

It was then that Konoha and Kaneki touched down, and also here when the burning rubble of the hospital swelled and burst with slashes of bright light, the debris suddenly becoming a collection of lethal projectiles to dodge. A-ya merely charged up with electricity that would disintegrate any stray pieces of building that dare fly his way. Kaneki released his kagune to slice through these, alarmed. Konoha jumped up and smashed a particularly large piece of wall with his fist, ensuring the safety of the three still at the bakery.

" _I coulda gotten that!_ " snapped Seidou from his place on the roof, already in position to obliterate it himself.

"I am… sorry, I think," Konoha said bemusedly, and rejoined Kaneki.

The slashes of light rebounded against the dome, blooming bright blue and lighting up the entirety of their boundaries with the force before ricocheting back into the hospital and bursting into another explosion. The hospital was just made to be exploded, apparently.

They braced against the shockwave, the rain changing direction as if the precipitation was trying to get away from the origin of the eruption. Kaneki's spirits fell as the air cleared. _This means… Yato made it. And Izaya…?_

"Konoha, get to A-ya," Kaneki said firmly. "I'll get Yato."

Konoha nodded, and Kaneki departed from him, heading towards the wreckage. His kagune was out and at the ready, he stood waiting for Yato to appear—which he did…

Kaneki, though remaining on-guard, shifted out of his fighting stance, peering confusedly through the steam of evaporating rain, and the haze of the drops falling. Yato and Izaya were both emerging from the lower levels, the god taking it slow and steady with Izaya's arm slung over his shoulders. At the informant's other side… But could it really be?

Kaneki took a step back. He'd hallucinated before – could he trust it, seeing Yukine? Yukine, who had died on day four of the games? His blond hair, though sodden with rain, was still the same as it had been, his eyes of amber tired but determined. Maybe a tad annoyed, that's true. Yato's gaze was away from Kaneki; his purple hair looked black. He and Izaya both remained stubbornly silent.

"…C'mon, Izaya, say something, here," the fourteen-year-old snipped. "Explain to Kaneki what the hell's going on. Unless you want _me_ to?"

Kaneki, deciding to try and go with it, took a step back forward again, touching his chin. "I would like something from someone, at least. Yukine's right."

Izaya laughed weakly. "Well… Yukine-kun is back… And good news, he hasn't forgotten me like everyone else."

Yukine straightened. "Huh? What's that?"

"Yato cut my ties," Izaya explained offhandedly.

"He _what_? Oh, come _on_!"

"It's alright, Yukine-kun," Kaneki said calmly. "Izaya-san and I have become reacquainted… to a point. I'm happy to see you again… but how…?"

"The items pillar," Izaya said. "Yato's item… it was Yukine. He got him back."

"And Nora?"

"She's dead…"

"And… Yato?" The half-ghoul looked to Yato, who didn't answer at first. Yukine, too, looked over at him.

"Kaneki…" Yato raised his eyes to him, and Kaneki thought that his eyes surely hadn't had that softness since their alliance, so long ago. "For everything I've done… you don't have to forgive me. You can hate me all you want. I've hurt you, and I've hurt people you care for. But please… don't kill me here. I have something I need to do first."

Eyes sad, Kaneki smiled at him. "Part of my weakness, Yato, is that I am far too forgiving. I cannot make that mistake of kindness now. But I could never hate you, or anyone… That said… what is it, exactly, that you need to do?"

"Firstly, I ask that you tend to Izaya, here. I can't be bothered with fixing him up."

"How considerate," Izaya said drily.

Yato ignored him. "Make sure he's patched up. His leg's pretty screwed up, and he's bleeding a lot… No point in him bleeding out now."

"Well, alright," said Kaneki, "but…"

"I've messed up a whole lot, but I want to make it up as best I can. What's going on with A-ya and Yukiteru right now?"

Kaneki blinked. "Yukiteru was just allied with us, but it seems he killed two of our teammates… Rika-chan said that he was trying to end the game faster… while A-ya is still trying to reset, but I'm not all too sure…"

"Ah, Yukki," sighed Izaya. "You're right, Kane-kun. Right now, Yukiteru is playing the role of the antagonist in order to reach an ending. As far as he's concerned right now, the only ones that are necessary to the game's end are Shintaro-kun and Rika-chan."

Kaneki stared emptily at him, wondering who on earth could sacrifice Hide like he was 'unnecessary.'

"I know he wants to save A-ya-kun, but if he can't succeed in doing so, then he plans on dying with him…"

"Is that where we're at?" Yato mused.

Yukine looked from one person to the next, trying to piece together all of the empty spaces he had. "Ah," said Kaneki, "you look confused, Yukine."

"Uh… Yeah."

"Yukiteru and A-ya were from Group 3, back in the beginning," Izaya elucidated. "Both of them were human back then, but since your, ah, departure, they've attained special items from a real, bona fide game master – some kind of items master. Yukiteru has the cloak and the gravity powers now because of it. A-ya's a special case, though… See, Kuroha did die after you did, but see that android there?"

Yukine stiffened in alarm. "But—he's all… _white?_ His vessel; so he lived? He's free now?"

"Yes," Izaya nodded, pleased. "But now the demon is possessing little A-ya-kun…" He paused. "Yato and I have both become involved with both of them in some way or another. Even though A-ya-kun doesn't remember me."

"Sorry," Yato grumbled.

"Oh no, don't worry about it," Izaya waved him off. "It just sure is a shame, knowing everything I had forged with him has been destroyed, and all~"

"Okay, you guys are just both jerks," Yukine sighed.

"I'm not as bad as him," cried Yato.

"At least I don't go around slaughtering people," scoffed Izaya.

"I know I'm bad! Leave me alone!"

"Um, if I may," Kaneki broke in, brow furrowed. A Mona Lisa smile touched his lips – this ridiculous bickering was still nostalgic. "When I take Izaya over to be treated, what will you do, precisely?"

Yato looked at Kaneki, suddenly all seriousness again. "I'll take care of A-ya," he said solemnly. "I might need someone to keep Yukiteru away from him. If you would…?"

Kaneki nodded slowly. He looked at Yukine. "Can I put faith in this plot?"

Yukine stared at him, then looked at Yato, becoming increasingly nervous. "Yato, what are we…?"

"This will be my last time, okay?" He helped the frowning Izaya over to Kaneki, who watched Yato suspiciously. Izaya was passed on to Kaneki, his arm slung over the half-ghoul's shoulders, now. "You won't be doing any of it, alright, Yukine? It'll be all me. We need to get rid of the demon, that's all. I need to 'get inside A-ya's head'…" He looked downward, expression somber. "I'll give them what they want. I, still have a wish I need to grant."

"But, Yato…"

"Trust me," Yato smiled to Yukine. "This'll be it. Then everything will be resolved."

"And… we can go home, then?"

Yato faltered, then beamed. "Absolutely!" he gave a thumbs-up. "You can count on me!" He directed his attention to Izaya. "Izaya, you go get fixed up. Kaneki… thank you for giving me this last shot. Take care, now – have faith and maybe god'll keep ya safe, I-za-ya~"

"Somehow, I still don't have faith in you," Izaya smiled thinly.

"Oh, you'll have time."

Kaneki shook his head, closing his eyes. "Glad to see you back… both of you."

"I'm just glad to see you're still around," Yukine said modestly, sticking his hands in his pockets. "I'm glad to be back, too. Even though… I feel like I didn't leave…"

"Well, you be careful. I'll be right back." Much to Izaya's chagrin, the half-ghoul scooped Izaya up in his arms and bounded back over to the other side of the street, where he could leave the informant with Shintaro, Rika, and Seidou to be tended to.

"Thanks, Yukine…"

"Hm?" The spirit looked up at the god, brow furrowed. "For what, now?"

"For believing in me anyway." He watched the scene as Konoha tore A-ya from Yukki only for Yukki to attack Konoha.

Yukine looked away, shoving his hands deeper into his jacket pockets. "Well, someone's gotta." He paused. "Besides… faith is something that can't exist without doubt. Knowing your doubts but believing anyway – that's what faith is, isn't it?"

Yato smiled a bit. He couldn't think of how to respond to that. "Are you ready?"

Yukine hesitated, but nodded firmly. "I am."

" _Sekki_." In a flash, two swords came to the god's hands; ah… this surge of power was unlike anything else. He could take on the world with Yukine at his side… "Let's do this," he said, walking slowly towards the skirmish between the three in front of him. "Careful not to cut them, just separate them. Alright?"

" _What if I miss, though?"_ Yukine asked frantically.

"Trust yourself!" Without waiting further, Yato jumped into the air and slashed down, breaking Yukiteru and A-ya apart as he landed between them with a flourish, swords crossed and held at the ready for an attack at any side.

Konoha staggered backwards. "Is this… help, or trouble?" the android asked no one, his voice quavering in his uncertainty.

"Yato," exclaimed Yukiteru, dumbfounded, "what are you _doing?_ "

"Granting your wish, Yukki!" he answered brightly. His eyes flashed exuberantly blue. "You see… I've made my decision too."

"You made—a wish, Yukiteru?" asked A-ya, tittering. "A wish, on a god, huh…? How… **ironic, isn't it…?** What was it? When mine, to be at your side…"

Yukiteru seemed struck. "…That's what it was? …A-ya… Then—!"

" **What's that nasty god doing here now, anyhow? Aa, the one that killed Twelve, too, isn't it? You hurt my group, didn't you? Well, here's my chance for revenge. Tell me, why don't you – are you a fight worth having yet? Hah?** "

"You'll have to let _me_ know, Kuroha," Yato smiled slyly. "Seeing as I've got the best Shinki anyone could ever ask for on my side~"

"Yato, get out of here!" snapped Yukiteru, apparently outraged. "I don't want anyone here. That's my wish, do you hear me?! This is between me and A-ya – that's it! You want to grant my wish? _Get rid of Konoha! Make him leave me alone!_ "

"A-ya, who do you think is better at granting wishes, do you think?" grinned Yato. "A god, or a demon? Will this leave either of you happy? What is it you're longing for, right now?"

A-ya's lip curled. "What I long for… **The beginning – I want to see the beginning again; I'll never, never run out of time…!** "

Yato, still poised between the two of them, looked at the possessed with narrowed eyes. _'You can only get inside his head anymore,' she said… Which means… That's right…_

 _The 'true A-ya'… what do you want? At this point… along with Yukiteru, too, he may just want to die… That is…_

"I'll give you exactly what you want – it's been awhile, Kuroha, since you've seen me at my best, huh?" _I can't cut Kuroha out of him, they're too enmeshed in one another now… I can't cut his ties… I can't save him like that; he's too far gone…_ "Do you remember what it looks like to purge demons?"

" **Are you really going to** _ **kill**_ **me?** " they sneered. " **Go ahead and** _ **try**_ **.** "

"Yato, don't!" Yukiteru protested. "You can't!"

"I can do what I want," he sniffed. "I'm god."

"That's not—!" Yukiteru went to stop him, but was suddenly grabbed backwards by Kaneki. Laughing wildly, A-ya shot into the air. Yato followed, right at his tail. "Let me go! _A-ya!_ "

"Oh, so it's a game of tag, now?" Yato asked through gritted teeth. He kept trying to swipe at A-ya to no avail. He felt an uncanny similarity to when A-ya had first activated his ability, and was facing Yato as the Dark-Clad Hero. Only now he was laughing distortedly, and it was Yato's turn to pretend to be the hero. Also, Yato didn't have his puffy-fluff scarf, and A-ya didn't have his red cape. Or the cat ears.

 _I need to—pin him, but how…?_

He glanced back at where the rest of the remaining players were. They were off of the rooftop now, remaining near the bakery but close enough to see the action. Izaya was stubbornly standing on a leg now splinted somewhat properly. His arms were crossed; he watched the fight with no expression. Had he always been so stone-faced?

Seidou kept shifting positions, itching to do something other than stand and wait. He watched Yato warily, as if expecting him to turn on them at any moment. The god had to concede it was a fair and healthy paranoia.

Shintaro was watching hopefully, his eyes shining red. Yato thought that he saw the hikkiNEET nod at him. Then there was Rika, holding that same armadillo in her arms. Her old eyes were knowingly watching him as he fought to dispel his own guilt. In one of his ground landings, Yato gave her an apologetic smile. He was blessed with a childish grin, assuring and warm. The weight in him grew lighter, if slightly.

It was Konoha who caught A-ya off-guard – Yukiteru was crying out to him to look out, but Konoha had grabbed onto him anyway, wrapping his arms around his middle from behind and locking them there, wincing as the possessed one struggled and screamed at him: " _You fucking pathetic excuse for a person – idiotic imitation; you can't best me, you filthy brat—why do you even continue to try?!_ "

Yato landed, skidding on the asphalt. "Here it is, Yukine. Remember what I said."

" _Yeah… I know, it's you… not me."_ Yukine felt as though Yato was perhaps a little bit too placid; too apologetic as he spoke.

"You'll be aiming for the demon, not Konoha, okay?"

" _Right… I got it."_

"Do you trust me?"

" _I do; just get on with it! Let's finish this and go home already!"_

Yato smiled, penitence potent. "Let's do that." He raised both blades, and began his incant: " _Thou who hast desecrated this Land of the Rising Sun…_ "

Time slowed. The blades began to glow white. A-ya's eyes widened – was it A-ya's fear, or Kuroha's? Both? Yato widened his stance, ready to lunge forward.

"… _with my advent, I, the Yato god…_ "

"YATO, STOP!" Yukiteru screamed. He begged the god to listen to him, but he only kept going.

"… _lay waste with the Sekki…_ "

Konoha grimaced as A-ya's body squirmed more forcefully, more desperately. He writhed with all his might, his eyes wild. _**I don't want to die.**_ Yato started forward, swords flashing.

"… _and hereby_ release, Yukine!" He cast his swords behind himself as they transformed back into the stunned form of Yukine, who staggered backwards, dumbfounded. In a flash of blue, Yato disappeared. Yukine called after him, but he was gone.

"Did he…" said Seidou slowly, eye narrowed, just behind the spirit, "…just, really…?"

A-ya erupted in a horrific shriek of two voices – Konoha tried his best to hold on, his eyes squeezed shut.

"A-ya!" called Yukiteru, still held back by Kaneki. "Are you…?"

" **GET OUT OF ME—OUT OF MY _BODY_ —!**" He stopped short, eyes rolling. " _Thought—I couldn't… possess people, too?_ " He smiled vacantly. " _Ever heard of divine possession? I'll show you the will of god!_ …Stop; stop… I can't; this is _my body,_ **it's mine…** "

"Yato…!" Yukine tried to approach, but was stopped with a hand to his shoulder. He looked back to see Izaya there.

"This is all him now, Yukine."

Even Yukiteru had stopped struggling, frozen. A-ya had slumped in Konoha's arms, and the android's legs had given in beneath him. He kept holding onto him in a death grip.

"I think…" said Hanyuu quietly, "…that when he wakes up again, we will see who won."

"Talk about putting it in god's hands," Shintaro said weakly.

"…You can let me go," Yukiteru said lowly, and Kaneki released him, remaining close at his side. The cloaked one didn't seem to want to do anything more, though, only gazing desperately into A-ya's wilting figure. Yukine clenched his fists at either side. Izaya kept a firm grip on his shoulder. Everyone was silent, waiting with bated breath. Even the rain became hushed.

Seems the greatest battles are in our heads.


	69. Helpless

It was dark. Yato stood in a black haze, looking warily around for any traps. _It was a gamble to see whether I could actually perform my divine possession on him. If it were my realm, this would be close to impossible knowing this body's inhabited by two beings already… Different realm, different rules. But with the limitations of the game on top of that… I guess I got lucky._

His gaze came to rest on the path in front of him. _Then… this is A-ya's mindscape, huh?_ He started forward into a murky maze. _I need to find A-ya…_ Looking around, all he saw was grey and black. Even his deity's eyes could not see through this kind of darkness. A horrible, sodden feeling was sinking into him, making him ill at ease. It was not cold as he might have expected here, but warm. He felt as though he were wading through the hottest days of summer, the haze clogging the gears of his own mind, the air clinging to his body and catching in his lungs. This atmosphere sapped at him quickly, though he kept on. He stopped to put a hand on one of the high walls, and flinched away from it. It burned – he looked down at his hand and made out a dark splotch on his palm where he had pressed his hand to the wall. Slowly, it began to spread, and he winced. He could identify this easily.

 _Blight._

He closed his hand into a fist and, resolving not to touch the walls anymore, continued on. _Then Kuroha has influence over everything in this place… I have to be careful. I'm vulnerable here – I can be hurt just by touching him in this form. And without a weapon…_

" **Why don't we play a game?** "

Yato turned his head upwards. The voices came from all around, but his senses began to tune into the mindscape now. He could make out the energies instead of feeling only an expanse of hazy darkness.

" **How about… hide-and-seek?** "

Yato clicked his tongue, kicking off from the ground and leaping onto one of the nearby walls, running along it towards where he could sense a presence. He went from wall to wall, following the energy like following a thin thread. By the time he'd reached its source, however, he stopped short. Before him was a pit of ebony black, bottomless and ready to swallow him whole.

" **This is my realm now. Just give up.** "

Yato gave a _tch_ , braced himself, and jumped into the hole awaiting him, shielding his face on the way. He felt it take him in, scalding him. The inky black tore into him, blighting his hands and the open flesh on his leg. He closed his eyes tight, plummeting endlessly – he felt as though he were jumping into a furnace, but—

He hit ground, sudden and hard. He gasped, tumbling forward and slamming into something solid. "Oww…" Rubbing at his head, he looked up at what he'd hit: a wardrobe. "Ah…?" He looked around – he was in a regular looking room… a small bedroom. He examined a wardrobe, bed, desk, and bookshelf: _Ah, so many books on the occult… This is questionable. What kind of kid…?_ He scratched at his head, dumbfounded. "This must be A-ya's room… A recreation of his home – well, it _is_ his mind."

The only thing lighting the room was a television, flickering static. Frowning, Yato looked up where he'd come to find an expanse of sky through the hole in the ceiling – it showed the stars, shining bright. "…Hm."

" _My favorite legend,"_ said the television screen, the speakers distorted, _"…is of the game Lonely Hide and Seek. Who is the demon we really seek…?"_

 _If that's the game we're playing, doesn't that make me the demon?_ Yato sighed. He went to the bedroom door and turned the handle. Looking through the open door, he saw an open living area.

Stepping into the next room, he felt suddenly ill. _This is, on the game field…_ He recognized this house as the one where they'd found Yoh's body. The one where he'd killed Celty, and Minene… leaving it in flames… Akise…

He shook his head, listening intently. There was the muted thudding of what sounded like a baseball bat being swung into a tree trunk. _That's right… Yukiteru did say that his group had taken refuge here… in the beginning…_

He could still sense the energy he could only presume was A-ya and/or Kuroha. "The only way to go is forward," he muttered to himself. Daylight poured in from the windows. Looking around now at the wooden flooring, he saw four blankets laid out on the floor – they must have camped out in the living room. _I can't say I remember who the other two members were… Both kids, I think… All human, right?_

He began towards what he presumed was the front door, but stopped at the ringing of a cellphone. He straightened, alarmed. "Phone?" He wheeled around to find the source, identifying it lying face-up on the kitchen counter. As it kept ringing, he picked it up tentatively, looking at the caller ID: _Mary-san._

Furrowing his brow, Yato answered. The line was silent. "What a tease," he said, and the line crackled on the other end.

" _Never answer a call from Mary-san_ ," they said, and the room darkened. It seemed as though the day had fallen to night, the windows blacked out. Yato turned on his heel to look behind him, where the blankets now appeared to be occupied. The forms even seemed to breathe. Yato narrowed his eyes – they were nothing but shadows; he sensed nothing from them.

Peering into the blanket closest him, he could make out the head of a dark silhouette. _Nothing but an illusion,_ he thought, and its eyes flashed bright green, boring into him. He only shook his head, putting the phone down and going towards the door. _I've gotta hurry up here_. With urgency, he went to the front door and jostled the door handle. He clicked his tongue. _Locked._

"I'll answer any question," said a voice from beyond the door. Yato blinked, leaning closer to the wood and trying to listen. "Ask anything you like."

Yato drew his lips into a thin line. Should he really play along, here? "Who's lying in the blankets, there?"

"Easy, there's not anyone – the beds are empty."

Yato rolled his eyes; this was pointless. He glanced behind him to find that, yes, they were empty, but there were more shadows surrounding him now. He counted nine different figures. He felt uneasy looking through them, recognizing a few: Celty, Minene… Ciel? "Why are there shadows here?"

"You need ten people to play the Answer Man," answered the voice.

"And you're the Answer Man?"

"Sort of. I'm a crude imitation of him."

"Fine. Where's A-ya?"

"Hiding."

Yato refrained from growling. "Why are you so _useless?_ "

"Because I'm stalling you."

Yato clicked his tongue.

"My turn: are you, Yato, really living now?"

Yato thought about this. He thought of his potent rage for Izaya, but also of his gratefulness. He thought of the feeling of using Yukine as his blessed vessel; the agony of losing Hiyori, and Nora. He thought of his relief in Yukine's return; his shame. "Yes, I think I am." He flashed a cold smile. "For now, I am."

There was a _click_ , and Yato blinked. Grabbing hesitantly at the door handle again, he found he could turn it now. Ignoring the shadows still behind him, he stepped out onto—a rooftop. Knowing the mindscape didn't always make sense, Yato walked onto the roof without faltering. He looked up into a starry sky again, the moon shone bright. He blinked bemusedly, then squinted. Was that a pyramid on the moon? A shooting star caught his eye, streaking white through the firmament above. _Huh._

Looking back at where he'd come, it seemed he was now at one of the residential houses from the northwestern portion of the playing field. But all around the house, there grew a thick expanse of trees that went as far as he could see. The next conclusion was obviously to jump into the forest, and so that's what he did.

He landed in a vaguely familiar clearing – he thought he'd set up camp here once with Nora; why was that? _Because there was a dead body…_ He recalled glazed-over green eyes, a soft smile, and spilled crimson. _That was one of their teammates… That's right, what was it? From A-ya's realm…_

He was distracted by the sound of flapping wings. Birds? He looked up in time to see a murder of crows flying away. _Still, just an illusion…_ Looking back at eye level, he saw a tree stained red, a pair of red-handled scissors sticking out of the stained trunk. Looked almost as if the red were leaking from its stabbing point. He went to the tree, examining the scissors until he was snapped to attention by a movement at his leg. Jerking his leg away and looking downward, he saw a stuffed rabbit there, its worn fabric colored pink. It had buttons for eyes, and sewn thread for a mouth. Its neck was torn, the stuffing coming out the side. It stood on two legs, its head barely the height of Yato's boots. Its buttons stared into Yato for what seemed a few whole minutes.

"…What are you supposed to be?"

No response.

"Alright, a rabbit… Can't be an Ayakashi, can you? Wrong realm for that… So, a figment of A-ya's mind, again?"

Seemed that the rabbit was mute.

"Look, Rabbit, I need to find A-ya…"

It tilted its head suspiciously, the tear in the side of its neck more pronounced. A monarch butterfly fluttered by, perching itself on the rabbit's shoulder.

Yato eyed the butterfly. "I messed up… I pushed him to be this way, technically. So, I… want to try and help him out. But to do that, I need to find him…"

The rabbit didn't appear to understand this explanation. Yato tried to step forward, but the rabbit moved to get in his way. Startled, the monarch fluttered up into the air, then descended back to the toy's shoulder.

"Alright…" He rubbed at the back of his head. "Let's see… A stuffed toy? Lonely Hide-and-Seek… Maybe? Well… I'm playing hide-and-seek, Rabbit. I'm 'it.' Wanna help me out? Or are you on his team?"

The rabbit righted its head, seeming to think this over. Then it turned around, walked over to the roots of the tree, took its stubby pink arms, and began attempting to dig. The butterfly had taken to the air again, fluttering nervously around the stuffed animal.

"Down there?" Yato asked blankly. "You're really helping me? Thanks, I guess… Ah, I can dig better than you; here." The rabbit turned on him in indignation, and Yato laughed. "You can't dig anything with those stubby arms of yours!" It looked down at said appendages, contemplative, while Yato crouched down and ran his fingers through the dirt. _It's loose…_ He dug through the loose earth, making a shallow hole before the ground caved in, sinking into a sort of pit. Yato stood and backed up. "Well… here we are."

The rabbit hopped into its hole, the butterfly following fast at its heels.

"Eh—oi!" Yato went in feet-first after them, sliding down a few meters before reaching level ground again. The rabbit was waiting for him with a lantern, the butterfly at its shoulder. After Yato had reached the underground level, it turned abruptly and began to walk away and down a tunnel. The butterfly briefly flapped its wings, and then calmed again. Yato followed down the path, which grew steadily more stony and damp. A gust of heated air blew through them, and Yato paused to shield his face. With the warm, humid air came a swarming sensation of that energy he was searching for.

Lowering his arm with a new sense of urgency, Yato peered through the dark to try and see. The rabbit had halted too, turning to look at Yato in impatient question… or at least, that's what it seemed like. It was hard to tell with the face of a stuffed rabbit toy, perpetually stuck in adorable impassivity. The darkness rolled like mist at their feet, and the lantern no longer seemed to be able to penetrate far into the shadows ahead.

Yato evaluated his options. "Thanks, you guys," he nodded, and ran into the darkness ahead. He thought he caught a glimpse of the butterfly fluttering suddenly after him, shocked at his abrupt leave, but then everything was ebony black again. He felt much like he had jumped back into the pit, but now he was on his feet and running as fast as he could. The good thing about being in the mindscape was that he wasn't plagued by, say, his broken ankle. The bad thing was his vulnerability to corruption and blight – that is, other than the fact he was in someone else's territory, and they by default would have the upper hand.

The black went on and on; he began to wonder if perhaps this path was a trap that led on for an eternity – it was sure feeling like it… He didn't know how long he ran without obstacle… not that it would matter, knowing that time was always distorted in a mindscape. The energy around him was so potent it felt like it was all around him, but eventually, _eventually_ he felt it centered in front of him.

He slowed. Measuring his pace, he approached the source. Gradually, gradually, a figure came into view, kneeling on ebony ground and in swirling black mists. He seemed comfortable there, his legs furled beneath him and one palm resting on the ground at his side. It did look to be A-ya in his original attire: black hoodie and red plaid pants.

Yato came to a halt in front of him, but the source did not look up. "…A-ya." He didn't answer, and so Yato frowned, crouching down to be at his level. "Look, I wanna chat. The first time we fought… There's some stuff… well." He drew his lips into a thin line, looking away. He scratched at his head. "I was kinda… I wasn't very… Okay, so I was pretty bad. I was acting in a way I'm not really proud of, and I want to correct something. If you would let me, I want to help you. You can get outta this, but at this point it's a choice that only you can make… A-ya, I can save you, but you need to take my hand."

"A-ya…" he answered slowly, lifting his head, "…will _never_ be a hero…" He looked into Yato with slitted pupils and shining red eyes. He smiled. "Isn't that what _you_ told him?"

Yato immediately stood up, taking a step back. _The demon—then…_ "Where's A-ya?" he growled.

"A-ya's right here," he said placidly, eyes narrowing. "It was a mistake for you to come this far. You idiot… how foolish to believe that you can 'save' him… _I_ am his savior, in his mind. That makes you the demon. Don't you get it? He _chose_ this. He chose it willingly."

"You can't convince me," Yato scowled. "Of course that's what he thinks – demon's _twist_ things, and—"

"On the contrary!" the demon cut him off. He raised his palms to the ebony sky. "Don't get me wrong, the little master surprised _me_ , too! But you see, he _knows_ that demons twist things, he knows my nature, and he knows that I'm leading him towards a repeating tragedy… But he agrees with me wholeheartedly – in fact, he proposed resetting the game to me before I had even led him there. I didn't so much as need a gentle finger pointing him in the right direction – that is, _my_ direction. We have common interests, and even more than that… even after my methods came to light, he more than accepted me, he continues to take pleasure in my company!" He laughed heartily. "Calamity God, you are truly blind in your mission. You cannot save someone who finds comfort in Hell!"

"That's not…" Yato furrowed his brow, thinking hard. Even if that were true… could that be the 'real A-ya'? If he didn't have so much guilt to alleviate, he may have honestly just killed the kid by now. But he did have all that guilt, and after all, he had a wish to fulfill… He thought of the way Yukiteru spoke of A-ya, and the way A-ya had acted as the Dark-Clad Hero. If A-ya's ideal was of a hero, what had distorted it to something evil? If he understood so much, then he'd know that demons were evil, there was no changing that. Yato could see the difference between A-ya's soul then and now – there had to be some kind of corruption. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter whether he came to that conclusion, Kuroha."

The demon tilted his head. "Hoh? It doesn't matter?"

"No, it doesn't. Because I'm sure A-ya never wanted to hurt anyone either. However…" His eyes grew distant. "…If, say, A-ya were to believe that it was in his nature… Or if he had already dirtied his hands, by accident or otherwise, he would doubt his goodness. I can get it – that kind of backwards logic… 'Sometimes to do some good you've gotta be the bad guy,' or something like that. It doesn't mean you're right, Kuroha. It just means he was caught in a time of weakness."

"You're one to talk," the demon scoffed. "Being a god, you should understand it too – the fleetingness of human life; its lack of purpose… People meeting, forming ties, making friends, lovers, or even enemies… it's all pointless. When history repeats itself, it all gets boring, you know? Who cares if people die? That's my ideology… and A-ya's 'rotten nihilism,' as he puts it. Living so long, and being above humans, you should know it too."

Yato shrugged. "I tried to cast all that away for the longest time… But you know, for some reason I still couldn't stop myself from caring. And besides…" He looked down on the demon with some disgust. "You say it like we gods and demons are above humans… We're lowly things; especially someone like me. We gods wouldn't exist without a wish to birth us. That is, without humans, we wouldn't _be_. And for me, my existence is so fleeting that I can't possibly look down on the mortality of humans. For me, my existence relies on the wish that made me. Without that, I'd be gone – not dead, just disappeared off the face of the universe."

The demon glared at him, crimson eyes flickering.

"Oh, what?" Yato cocked his head, sneering as he crossed his arms over his chest. "That hit too close to home?" he leaned up close. " _My_ bad."

"Oh, shut up," he hissed. "Smartass."

Yato laughed delightedly. "And anyway, _I'm_ here on a wish myself, you know? _You_ should know better than anyone the importance of granting a wish. What is it you're trying to grant, huh? Kuroha… Is it that A-ya's wish was to be by Yukki's side?"

The demon snickered horribly. "No… Fool, his wish was one that will never be granted: a wish 'not to be helpless.' Isn't that cute?"

"Well, I'm here on a wish to make sure Yukki remains at A-ya's side. _So…_ It seems we're having a little bit of a problem here."

"You're the one…" – here, the demon got up on his knees, straightening – "…who asked which was better at granting wishes – demon or god… It's time to prove that you're the pathetic one. Here… I can kill you easily." A-ya's face screwed up as though in pain before he doubled over, clutching at his stomach with one hand and bringing his other hand down to the floor in front of him, dry heaving. Yato widened his stance in preparation, peering at the one in front of him.

When A-ya lifted his head, he was still grimacing, a snake's head appearing in his own parted jaws. A-ya held his throat gingerly, one eye squeezed shut and leaking tears triggered by the discomfort of his esophagus. The snake, head free, flicked a violet tongue and appeared to smile. "I'll be the one to drive you out of here," said the snake, and it began to slide further from its master's mouth, slithering down to the ground as its body emerged gruesomely. As the end of its tail came free, A-ya turned away and began coughing, gasping for air and wiping his face of saliva and tears.

Yato, through all this, watched with a look of perturbation. The snake raised its head, and Yato took a step back. "What the _hell_ …"

"Well then, Calamity God…" the snake seemed to sneer, "…who is the demon _you_ really seek?"

Yato stared as the snake took on a new form, growing and metamorphosing into a small figure, smaller than A-ya – a girl. It was Nora in front of him now, approaching with her warm, jaded red eyes, glowing softly.

"Is it," it said in her voice, "this girl, once human?" It tried to latch onto him in her regular show of affection, but Yato jerked away.

" _Get the hell away from me!_ " he cried. "That is _so_ not cool!"

It tilted its head, the visage of Nora blank and confused. "I noticed you falter, but that's not… Hm… Then…" Lowering its head, it grew to Yato's height, taking on his own visage. Yato stared into his mirror image, blinking. "Is it that you are your own demon?" Smirking cruelly, his mirror image cocked its head to the other side. "How deliciously ironic."

"…I'm kinda uncomfortable with this," Yato admitted, taking a step back again, inching his way towards A-ya. He didn't dare flick his gaze to the human's spirit. "Come on, you could totally do better. I look better than _that!_ " His mirror image frowned. "You've got the hair all wrong!" He flipped his purple locks as if to prove his point. " _My_ hair is fluffy and luscious – anyone could tell that you're the fake!"

"If you want to make this into a regular fight," said the demon lowly, becoming a dark silhouette without features, "we can do that, too."

"Fine on me," Yato answered, making a move to attack without hesitation. The demon caught his fist, and he made for a kick that 'Kuroha' ducked from.

"You don't have a chance… Calamity God you may be, but I'm a demon of dreams, and you're in _my_ realm now." The featureless silhouette had taken on the form of A-ya now, a smoky rendition of the fourteen-year-old that still knelt just a few paces away.

"This isn't _yours_ ," Yato spat. "This is A-ya's realm, not anyone else's."

The demon only laughed derisively, lunging for Yato as he crossed his arms in front of him for protection. The demonic form of A-ya's fist made contact, and the god slid backwards, wincing. Even making contact with him, he could tell…

Jeez; this wasn't healthy.

" _Oi!_ " he called harshly. "A-ya, snap out of it! I don't have time for you to tap out on me here! Listen to me—ya might wanna hear this!"

He and Kuroha clashed. A-ya, nearby, did not respond.

"You think you're helpless? I can't say I'm not guilty of making you think so…" The demon swiped at his face, and though his fist only skimmed Yato's cheek, the holy one staggered backwards, bringing a hand to his face. _Blight…_ He looked to the demon, who sneered at him with A-ya's face.

"No reason for you to try," the demon said with a brow furrowed in mock apology. "Sadly, I can't imagine that the little master would be receptive to you." He made the move to attack, then, and Yato dodged, jumping into the air.

 _Even touching him is bad news for me… at least regarding skin contact. Makes him a tough opponent. Good thing I don't have a broken ankle here._ With this, he made a move to kick the demon square in the gut, successfully sending him skidding backwards. …Even though he came right back at him, grinning horribly.

The best thing was to use feet as offense, dodging as much as possible. Too much blight, and he was done for…

He tried again, raising his voice. "Come on, A-ya, come back to me here! How about this?" He gave the demon a heavy blow to his chest with his fist, immediately regretting his choice of attack: Kuroha grabbed his wrist, pushing up his sleeve and spreading the blight with a wicked grin. Yato yanked himself away and pressed, "I can grant your wish, A-ya. It's only five yen!" He got a kick to the gut, and staggered. "Well, I may even consider—doing it for free, but that's a one-time deal, got it? It's only because of circumstance. Maybe you can pay me later, huh? The point is, I can make you not-helpless. How about it?"

"Stop it," hissed the demon. "That's _my_ master, and _my_ wish to grant. You can't just take it!"

"Why not?" Yato sniffed.

"He and I already made a deal!"

The god scoffed, dodging an attack. "It's not like he gave you his soul. So what? He's your vessel, big deal! If he's the master, he can do what he wants!"

"And he wants _me_." Yato flipped over him as a dodge to another attack, tried to kick him in the back, and failed as the demon whirled around and ducked. "That's my _point._ "

"Stop speaking for him, would ya? He can speak for himself! Can't you, A-ya?"

It was subtle, but the human's eyes flickered. Yato grinned.

"Yeah, that's right! You have a voice, so use it!" The demon began to argue, and Yato cut him off by grabbing his throat. "Shut up, would you?" The god ignored the blight spreading down his arm, his hand darkening further, skin on fire. The demon scowled at him, gripping at his wrist. "So here's what's happening, A-ya. 'Helplessness' is your problem, right? But only if you think too hard on it!" The demon shoved one of his own hands to Yato's throat, and the god choked. The high collar of his jersey couldn't protect him anymore, the zipper undone. Blight spread to his neck, sinking through layers of spirit. He kept speaking anyway, their fingers pressed into each other's throats.

"A-ya," he got out, "it's not about lack of ability, or lack of potential. It's about lack of belief. Or maybe—the presence of it. You believe that's the only result you can put out, so it becomes reality. But it's _your_ preconception that makes the deal—!"

"Doesn't that mean…" said A-ya, his voice quiet, deadened, "…that I'm just as helpless? If I'm at fault."

"That's not—agh!"

Yato was shoved upwards by the throat, then thrown down, his back hitting the misty ground hard. The demon was on him, one hand strangling, the other holding onto the hand Yato still had at the demon's neck. The demon was sneering at him, eyes shining in glee. They glimmered golden despite the maintained visage of A-ya. Yato could feel the infection of blight spreading down to his collarbones and crawling up to his jawline.

"Listen," he choked out. "If you really think you're helpless when you're capable of this much, you've gotta be nuts. 'Helpless' means you can't do a thing, but you've managed huge feats in this game – you're a power player, aren't you?! You were hard to fight as the Dark-Clad Hero, you know, at least until the point where you doubted yourself—so take a step back and take a look at who you _are_ , A-ya! Look at what's going on around you! _If you can manage this big of a mess, you can't possibly be helpless!_ "

Gaze averting further, A-ya shifted slightly. His raven hair blocked Yato's view of his eyes. The demonic form of A-ya cackled gleefully. The demon was winning. Yato reflected that perhaps guilt-tripping him wasn't going to help – not that he _intended_ to make him feel guilty, it just came out that way. He set his jaw, grinding teeth and trying to think of words while also trying to breathe beneath the vice of the demon's grip.

"Being 'helpless' isn't just about you, A-ya. To be helpless means, too, that you don't have anything to support you anymore. It's to be without the ones that keep you where you need to be. It's to be _alone_. And you've managed this much…" Yato's hand lowered from the demon's throat, his eyes hazing. "But if you really feel alone, even now, there is nothing that can reach you. Even if you have everyone on your side… myself included… Ah, didn't you have all those teammates? That's my fault… Even, Izaya… But Yukiteru's waiting for you, you know… Even if it's only him believing in you out there, one person's faith means more than you think, A-ya. But if you turn away, then you really are… helpless."

Tentatively, A-ya lifted his head. He looked at Yato, his red eyes shining with dim hope and clouded with doubt and trepidation.

"Didn't you hear me?" Yato asked weakly, his arms lying at either side of him. The demon had hesitated overtop him, looking over at his master. The blight inched its way up Yato's cheeks, the dark infection threatening to swallow him up. "I'm here on Yukki's wish. It's a gamble coming here, y'know? Can't tell on the outside whether you're alive or dead anymore… You're still solid, unlike this demon and I. Go on. You can still live – affirm your own existence."

A-ya's eyes widened – his lips parted, ready to speak. The weight on the god lifted as the demon returned to his master, appearing behind him and covering his mouth, holding tightly to him. "You could do nothing without me," hissed the demon. "Without me, you really would be helpless – everything would have fallen apart, and you know it. Everything you've been able to do, you've done it with my help."

"Aren't you the very reason he's helpless?" Yato turned his head to face them, still lying on his back. "What kind of paradox is that? How can you grant a wish like that?"

"He wants to go back to the beginning," Kuroha growled. "He proposed it himself. That is our common goal – we work towards it together."

"If that's what he wants," said the god, sitting up slowly and cradling his throat, "then why do you have to cover his mouth?"

The demon's eyes narrowed, frown etched into his features. He hesitated, then released A-ya.

A-ya was quiet at first. Then, "…Even if it were something like that, a question of whether I'm dead or alive inside this vessel of mine… A tale like Schrodinger's Cat. When really… it doesn't matter whether the cat's alive or dead, just like it doesn't matter whether _I'm_ alive or dead. It doesn't even matter if Yukiteru is alive or dead… because… death is nothing but an illusion here. This game… is fake. The end of the game is the end of us. All of our existences… whether it's yours or mine, it doesn't mean anything. It's the same as not existing. If the game ends, then so do we. It's the way this works. Nothing matters; it never did. It never will."

"If it doesn't matter, then why are you trying so hard?" Yato pressed, getting unsteadily to his feet. "Why do you want to reset, if it really doesn't matter? Why put in the effort? Why exist? Or is it that you still have a will to live after all?"

"A will to live… I…"

As A-ya lowered his gaze again, Kuroha's yellow stare grew more intense. "Of course he does—we do. That's the point – if we reset, we continue to exist. You understand, don't you? The desire to exist?"

Yato chuckled drily. "I guess I do. But if the both of you really want to exist so bad, then doesn't that nullify the 'it doesn't matter after all' argument? A-ya, you're contradicting yourself all over. Tell me… do you still long to be at Yukiteru's side, or not? What about B-ko's? And the other one, C-ta? Your teammates?"

The demon opened his mouth to speak, but it was A-ya that said, "I do." He looked at the god again, his eyes so deeply saddened. "I'm helpless, you know. I can't go on without them."

"No one can go alone," Yato assured him. "I told you… to be helpless is to lack the people who catch you when you fall. Nobody can keep walking on their own, all the time, and there's not a single pair of wings that won't ever give out. And if you still feel the need to be at their side, you're not too far gone." He noted the bitter expression on the demon's face, and continued, "You can say that nothing matters. After all, it's humans that place meaning in anything. The only reason anything has purpose is because the humans make it so. That is… if you feel that something has meaning, then doesn't that make it worth it? There are people waiting for you, A-ya. Isn't that enough?"

Now close enough to do so, Yato held out his blighted hand to the boy. Could he at least save this young lost soul? A-ya stared, disbelieving, at his palm. Yato smiled. "See, kid? God's still on your side."

There was a heavy silence. The air was warm. The demon waited with bated breath, up into the point where A-ya began to raise his hand to the god. The demon swiftly pulled him backwards. " _No._ This is _my_ little master; I won't let you take him." He clutched A-ya close to his chest, eyes flashing. Bearing serpentine teeth, he hissed, "It's you who deceive him now. It's too late for any kind of happy ending. And besides, of any of my vessels… any of my masters… A-ya still accepts me. He doesn't want _you_ , as if you think you're so righteous. Hah! Doesn't it make you the dirty one, trying to take him from me?"

"I won't be taking him," Yato said firmly. "I can't free him, either. He has to do that on his own. All he has to do is take my hand – that's his choice entirely. Unless you're robbing him of free will?"

" _It's his free will to have fallen in with me._ He chose this! He chose me! He's already made his choice, damn it, so _leave us alone._ "

"A-ya?" Yato asked calmly.

" _I'll kill you!_ " the demon screamed, digging fingers into A-ya's shoulders, his eyes shining in the darkness circling them, serpentine tendrils wriggling around them and rising, heads to the sky, binding them together through the wish A-ya had made…

And A-ya, he laughed: a miserable, remorseful chuckle that bubbled up and fell flat in the humid atmosphere of his mindscape. "Oh, C-ta…" His eyes welled and spilled; his lip trembled and was still. "…Or rather, Kuroha… You're—so helpless."

"… _What?_ " The demon froze, eyes wide, black slits swiveling downwards to stare at his master.

A-ya took Yato's hand.

The demon's image cracked. "…No…"

Yato helped A-ya to his feet, then put his other hand at his shoulder, smiling apologetically at the kid. "I'm glad," he said, but A-ya looked away. Yato released him, and stepped toward the demon, a dark fissure running through his form. The dark one took a step back, and another crack appeared. Yato's smile became rueful. "You're right, A-ya. This game is fake… otherwise, I may have been too selfish to even consider this. Don't you know? There's no such thing as a free wish."

Enraged, Kuroha came forward with a heated gust, latching onto Yato while the god caught his hands in his own, gripping tightly so the demon wouldn't, couldn't pull away. The blight spread. So did the demon's cracks.

"A-ya! _A-ya!_ " Kuroha cried desperately. _"_ It's fine; just make another wish! Make another one, _right now!_ Hurry! Make one; any one – want to be by Observer's side? I can do it! I'll do it! I can!" A-ya put one foot behind the other, backing up from the swarming darkness and the crackling cerulean in front of him. "Say something, A-ya! _Save me!_ "

But A-ya had lost his words.

"I'm a selfish god, you know," admitted Yato, holding tight, their palms pressed together. The darkness and light circled them both in a corrupted yet holy eddy of spiritual energy. "All I'd wanted… my deepest desire was simply to be at Yukine and Hiyori's side. In this reality, it can't be that way anymore. But I'm still existing somewhere, and in that place, I'm still with them. And everyone out there, they'll remember me. Yukine, Yukiteru, Rika, Kaneki… even Izaya. And hey, I'll always keep living as long as someone knows me."

The crumbling visage of the demon widened his eyes. He recalled A-ya inquiring him of his coming to be – the tale of the Clearing Eyes Snake. After that, what was it he had said? _"When we reset, I want you to find me, and I want you to tell me that story again. Every time, so that there will eventually come a loop where I don't forget it. Okay? Because legends never die – you'll exist forever, no matter what happens."_ A fissure split his chest. What was this pain?

"If I can project that broken dream onto someone else; if this me can manage that much, maybe I can feel better about myself, somewhere, sometime. I have a wish, Kuroha. I wish for A-ya to be at Yukki and Yukine's side in my place."

The demon began to shake his head, frantic. He began to glow. The blight of Yato spread, consuming him.

"This is it, Kuroha." He, Yato, was ever so slightly frightened. Remorseful, of course. Maybe a little apologetic. "You're dying. It's over."

" _I don't want to die._ "

A-ya staggered backwards, horrified. What was happening? Everything went white, then was swallowed in inky black. He heard the demon screaming, and covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut.

Yato held onto the demon; felt his own body breaking away from him, crumbling away into oblivion with his only solace being that at least the demon was going the same way. His smile was gone. Could anyone really make up for everything they'd ever done? He guessed for him it didn't matter. His senses left him; nothing left to see, feel, taste, touch, smell… All there was, his 'self,' thoughts swirling into the image of Hiyori. There was Yukine, smiling at him, and Izaya with his back turned.

 _Please… don't forget about me._

And then, even the self was gone.


	70. Eight

The rain had slowed, the clouds breaking to reveal the sun's tentative face. Light splotches dotted the torn road everyone waited on as sun rays found holes in the cloud cover. Konoha held A-ya's body near the bakery, where Shintaro could have potentially been hanged not too much earlier that day. The NEET now stood between Rika and Izaya. Everyone was eerily quiet as they waited for the results of a battle they couldn't see. Hanyuu hovered behind Rika, her hands to her mouth in nervous anticipation. Izaya still had his hand on the shoulder of Yukine, who's fists were clenched at either side of him, his eyes desperate. Shintaro probably should have been weirded out by the fact that Yukine was around again, but according to his past route memories, it could have easily been Yato finding an items pillar or something.

Judging by Kaneki's hurried explanation as he handed over Izaya for patching up, it seemed that Yato was acting for them again. Yukine probably helped with that – probably a part of Izaya's plan all along, knowing him. But hey.

Kaneki was now standing between A-ya and everyone else, save for Konoha, who was holding onto the doubly-possessed one. He faced A-ya, ready to make a move if he woke up and the worst-case scenario had become reality: that is, A-ya was too far gone and now Yato was gone, too. It felt like long enough to wonder if the kid was dead, but he was still breathing, so something had to be going on.

On the other hand, Yukiteru knelt in the saturated asphalt, head bowed. No one dared break the silence to ask, but his cloak had faded away and into the kid's original attire: green shorts, black turtleneck, boots, jacket and all. The only thing missing was his hat, wherever that had gone. He seemed so unthreatening now, kneeling there with his head bowed, looking hopeless, but Seidou remained on guard all the same, standing between Yukki and the rest of the group – Shintaro, Rika (and Hanyuu), Yukine, Izaya… Well, Shintaro assumed Seidou was on-guard, anyway. The half-ghoul looked pretty bored.

Yukiteru wasn't the only one who's garb had disappeared. A-ya, too, now only had on his black hoodie and red plaid pants he'd had at the very beginning of the game. At the stretch of concrete that he and Konoha were on, you could see the blood pooling around them. It wasn't like Konoha was uninjured himself, and well, A-ya had taken a lot of heavy hits. Old wounds reopened, new wounds fresh, and not to mention, he was missing an arm that was now lying on the roof with Hide's dead body.

But let's not think about that part.

The point being, A-ya's right arm was gone, and there was a lot of blood. Maybe it was better for him that his 'Dark-Clad Hero' outfit had faded, because apparently fabric damage didn't cross over, and his hoodie was fine. Maybe it could help stop some of the bleeding? Eh, probably not, but it was worth the thought. I mean, unless this kid woke up with Kuroha still possessing him, in which case it would be totally okay for him to bleed out, right? Right?

It felt light outside again despite the gentle drizzle and the clouds still hanging overhead. Perfect weather for a rainbow – could so kind a picture be in a world like this?

A-ya stirred; Shintaro felt the atmosphere rise in tension. Yukiteru lifted his head, scrutinizing A-ya's features. Who was the one waking up?

Kaneki approached him, kagune out and poised to attack. A-ya grimaced before opening his eyes, sitting up properly and clutching at his torn shoulder, pulling away from Konoha, who leaned against the wall of the bakery. Threateningly, Kaneki cracked his knuckle, and A-ya looked up with a jolt, eyes wide.

Yukiteru, lifting his face to his friend, was swathed in ebony as his cloak reappeared. "…A-ya…?"

Yukine stepped forward, pulling away from Izaya. " _Where's Yato?_ "

A-ya turned to look at Yukine, looking both shocked and confused. Slowly, he shook his head. Shintaro, Rika, and Izaya could see Yukine's form welling with suppressed emotion. The spirit said nothing else. He opened his mouth to ask – what could he possibly mean? Yato couldn't just be _gone,_ right? …But he couldn't make a sound.

Kaneki's kagune appendages pointed ominously at A-ya's vital parts, and A-ya stared into the red weapons, speechless. "Do I need to kill you?" Kaneki asked coolly. "If Yato is gone, what does that mean?" His gaze was frighteningly intense, but A-ya did not shrink under it. "You have a lot of deaths to atone for."

A-ya shifted his legs beneath himself, straightening to Kaneki's accusation. His expression was despairing, a nervous smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Please…" he said, his voice so small, quavering lightly, "…kill me."

Kaneki's intimidating demeanor melted, and his shoulders fell. "…What?"

"I said _kill me_." He bent forward, putting his one bloodied palm on the concrete in front of him. "You want to, don't you? So please…" He bowed his head. "…I…"

Kaneki, taken aback, felt his kagune shriveling away. _I can't,_ he thought, staring at this kid. Was he still possessed? Had Yato succeeded after all? But even if the demon just hadn't woken up yet, could Kaneki really…? He backed up, shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

A-ya did not lift his head. Lowly, Seidou began to growl. Yukiteru looked back at the other half-ghoul, eyes wide as they scrutinized what he could possibly be thinking. " _Kaneki…_ " Seidou lowered his stance, looking ready to charge over to them. " **Dumbass… If you won't,** _ **then I will**_ **.** "

"No!"

Seidou and Yukiteru went for A-ya at the same time – blood spattered over the concrete as if it weren't red enough already. A-ya lifted his head and saw Yukiteru's back to him, his arms spread out to either side. Yukki was closer; he made it first.

" _Don't—kill him…,_ " said Yukiteru, his hands lowering to Seidou's arm, which was embedded in his gut.

Seidou bore his teeth and ripped his hand from Yukki's torso, using his other to grasp his throat and lift him by the neck. " **You little brat; you're no better… You filthy** _ **traitor**_ **…!** "

"Please, let him go—!" started A-ya, but Seidou cut him off with a short, " **Quiet!** "

" _Seidou,_ " Kaneki spoke sternly. "Put him down. _Now._ "

Seidou glared at the other half-ghoul disapprovingly. " **Kaneki, he** _ **killed—**_ "

"I know." His voice was filled with such pain. "Just drop him. Please."

The other half-ghoul scowled, but dropped Yukiteru all the same. The cloaked one collapsed in a heap beside A-ya, who immediately went to him in all desperation.

" **C'mon, Kaneki,** " Seidou growled, gesturing to them. " **Do you really think that we can trust them now?** _ **They're**_ **the reason that Nagachika died, you know. You know that, right? What are you gonna do?! You think I can't see it? You're not all selflessness and idealism. You don't care about the big stuff – 'humanity,' or 'justice.' You only want the ones you care about to be okay… Wasn't Nagachika the one you were living for?** _ **Huh?**_ "

"That's…" Kaneki looked away.

Seidou turned on Yukki and A-ya, scowling. " **Isn't that right, you two? What happened to Nagachika?** "

"Naga—chika…?" Yukiteru opened one blue eye, blood running down his chin. "Aa… Hide-kun? He's nice… I think he must have heard me talking about what I was going to do. Not all of us could make it, you know… but Rika and Shintaro needed to. If either of them died, it wouldn't work. So, Hide…" He smiled a glassy-eyed smile, made eerie by the blood coloring his lips and chin. "He saved me." He laughed weakly. "Thanks, Hide."

Kaneki brought a hand to his mouth, eyes overcast. He was filled with hurt and outrage that he speak of Hide as if he were disposable.

Seidou ground his teeth. " **Why I oughtta…** "

" _Guys._ " It was Shintaro who amazingly spoke up here, crossing the gap between his clump of people and theirs with his voice. "Can we really be so accusatory? Well… can either of you, really? I don't mean to be a jerk or anything… but… what did you just call him, Seidou? A filthy traitor?" he crossed his bandaged arms over his chest. "Can you really be so mad? You've had a second chance, haven't you? What, people are dead? Well… I mean…" He looked to Yukiteru and A-ya, who both just stared at him. "It's not like we aren't forgiving… right? What about what happened with Roppi?"

Seidou shrunk, looking dark but shameful. Kaneki closed his eyes.

"And… come on, Kaneki… Look at what happened to Yato. He came around, too… and you gave him a chance, right? And besides…" Shintaro lowered his gaze. "…Hide did that willingly. He knew he was going to die in this fight. He talked to Rika and I about it beforehand. Because he knew… that he'd still be waiting when you made it out of this alive, Kaneki."

"That is so!" Rika piped in, stepping up with the red-scarfed one. "Everyone that is left is only an antagonist due to the game itself. This far along, there is no more reason to fight…"

"But," said Kaneki, "what of the demon? Is he extinguished?"

Hanyuu bowed her head, floating behind Rika. "The demon has perished," she confirmed. "His energy and Yato's both disappeared at the same time."

"Then that means," said Shintaro quietly, "that kid…"

A-ya knelt beside Yukiteru, who lay on the ground, holding his own torso in pain, as well as trying to staunch the bleeding. A-ya had struggled to get his black hoodie off, just barely managing to do so with one arm even though it hurt his socket of a shoulder like hell. He felt distantly, as if he were still disconnected from his own body. He still felt like a shell; the only thing he could feel was his heartbeat, the horrid throbbing of his torn shoulder in rhythm with it. Everything he saw was doused in vivid color, blurred through his watery vision.

He gave Yukki his hoodie, and he thought that the cloaked one smiled at him. All A-ya could hear outside of his head was ringing. All he could hear inside was himself. His mind was an ebony void, his own voice echoing in his ears, _This is my fault._ Yukiteru was hurt, and he…

…He'd tried to kill Yukiteru, hadn't he? Just before Yato had joined in him in his head. A-ya felt a bitter taste in his mouth, mixed with the taste of iron, thick and asphyxiating. The words he'd said… he supposed he'd meant it. He tried to remember what it felt like, but all he could feel now was a strange, buzzing static.

A-ya looked down at himself, and his white collared button-up shirt stained deep carmine. His red pants. The crimson staining the concrete, and the same color spreading around Yukiteru. His scarlet eyes wandering, lost, something caught his eye of the very same shade. A red-handled pair of scissors, the pair that had fallen from the pocket of Shintaro when he was dangled over the side of the bakery roof.

A-ya had left his own scissors with C-ta. He couldn't even bear to look at them anymore, let alone use them. That was why he had initially kept C-ta's boxcutter. But there they were – in his head, it was his own scissors lying there on the concrete, his vision swimming as he was drawn to them as if by a sense of morbid curiosity. He took them in his one hand; their silver blades were already stained. A-ya remembered how it felt to embed the blades of his scissors into C-ta's neck – his childhood friend… He remembered the feeling of tearing into Roy Mustang; maiming Shirazu; offing Suzuya; slaying Akira…

He relived these memories in full color, and couldn't help but smile at the potency of the emotion that swept over him. He recalled the crimson night of C-ta's passing under the moon and the leaves… And he held his scissors, just like he'd done back then; and he smiled as he opened the blades proper and moved to slash sideways into his jugular and esophagus—

A hand was at his wrist, stopping him. His vision came back into focus, and there was Yukiteru just in front of him, sitting up now with his other arm pressing A-ya's hoodie to his injury. "It's okay, A-ya," Yukiteru whispered, releasing the hoodie and putting his red-stained palm over the blades of the scissors. "Put it down…" They stared into one another, red eyes meeting blue.

Slowly, they lowered the scissors together. A-ya dropped them, and they clattered to the blood-soaked, rain-sodden concrete they knelt on.

"A-ya…" Yukiteru's brow was furrowed, his orbs of azure shining in fear meshed with hope. "…Is it really you? Are you… really here? Are you back?"

A-ya opened his mouth, then closed it again. Incredulous, he gazed at the cloaked one, wide-eyed. "Hey… if you were to see… a shooting star now, what would you wish for?" he asked, voice cracking.

Yukiteru's face broke into a relieved smile. "A-ya… I wouldn't wish for anything at all. I have everything I need—I… I'm so _glad…_ " Despite his wound, Yukki embraced A-ya fully, wrapping his arms tightly around and feeling the solidness of his back: he was no illusion. This was no dream.

A-ya had stiffened. His chest felt ready to burst, but he couldn't tell whether this overwhelming emotion was a good one or bad one. He felt all this foreign feeling swelling – ah, it was as though his emotions had bloomed back into life after a drought – filling him and spilling over the bottom lids of his eyes. He felt the warm drops falling over his shoulder and knew that Yukiteru was crying, too. This epiphany only served to heighten his flood of feeling and, bringing his single arm around his friend, he let himself go, clinging onto the other. Together, they wept.

The sky opened up, revealing the blank blue face beyond. Orange-yellow sunrays made the rain-soaked city shimmer, making even grey aesthetically pleasing. _Existence alone… that's what monochrome means. Isn't that what Twelve had told us? Existence, without 'love'… Aa… was even this place, always so colorful?_

"Is it that… you still want to reset?" asked Yukki.

A-ya didn't know that he could put into words what it was he wanted right then. Reset? "…No…" Did he want to die? Not really… He just didn't want to feel so, alone. So… empty. To have someone here, someone he could _feel_ … This moment, on its own… yeah, this was fine. If this could last, it was fine.

A-ya was held tighter. "That's for the better. I told you," Yukiteru said quietly, "I want the game to end… but I don't want to make it there without you. This is fine, A-ya… I'd rather it be this way." He pulled away just a bit, reaching into his cloak to pull out the cellphone he'd attained from the items pillar in the shopping district. "Here…" He pushed it to A-ya's chest, and A-ya put his hand to it, looking at Yukki in a silent question. "This person, he made it out. He'll be meeting you soon…" The no-longer-possessed boy felt a sudden sinking feeling. His sight was still obscured by tears that dried slowly; he felt oddly weighted despite his lightheadedness, probably all to do with his excessive loss of blood. "You," Yukki said to him, "can make it to the end, alright? I can't make our future from here, so… I'd bet you can. _I_ have faith in you." What sort of apologetic smile was that? What was he saying? A-ya felt the cold seeping of dread. "So… in that future…" Yukiteru smiled a closed-eye smile. "…I'll meet you there. Alright?"

A-ya felt a deep burning in his chest. Even now, how could he be… this helpless? Couldn't he stop _one person_ from dying? Was death the only thing he was capable of causing? "Y…you…" A-ya couldn't bring forth any words. This was the worst possible outcome he could come up with. _Don't leave me alone,_ he wanted to say, but no sound came out. _I'd rather die. This is my fault. I did this._

 _I was the traitor here, after all. So why aren't I the one dying?_

 _What have I been doing, all this time? Trying to reset… is that it? Extend time here… because there's nothing waiting for us at the very end, is there? Even if we go home… a moment like this would never happen again. Even if I were to have C-ta and B-ko back, isn't it true that I would return to the same monotonous existence?_

 _But even knowing that… how could I have been so foolish? The whole point of accepting Kuroha's offer… hadn't I wanted to protect Yukiteru? Rika, Minene, Roy? My wish not to be helpless… was really just a desire to be able to protect those people close to me. But even with Twelve or Suzuya, I didn't do much at all. And how could I know what 'protecting' is supposed to be… when my protector was the one who tried to kill me…?_

 _Yato was wrong after all, wasn't he? How could he think I'm not helpless? Ah, though Twelve… had said the same thing… And, Roy…_

Yukiteru, who had been holding onto one of A-ya's shoulders, sort of half-slumped, bringing his hand from A-ya's shoulder to his torn-open abdomen. _If Yukiteru dies,_ thought A-ya, _then maybe I'd want to reset after all. Or else, die with him…_ With his only arm, A-ya took Yukiteru's free hand. Wouldn't that be fine, at this point? After everything he'd done… and everything they'd gone through… No, Yukiteru didn't deserve this – the only reason he'd done anything so questionable was because he'd followed A-ya there, hadn't he? But A-ya, on the contrary… he surely deserved this. And if Yukki really had to go, then it was only right for him to follow right after him.

He squeezed Yukki's hand, eyes brimming with regret. He recalled how it felt to cling to his hand on the rooftop, when the loneliness was drowning him and he had nothing but that to hold onto. It was beautiful, in a way… such a strong connection, if made through such dire circumstances. He had nothing to fall back on, now. His ears rung, and he couldn't call upon the friendly, dark warmth that made up his subconscious… that is, there was no soothing voice of the demon, cooing as if in his ear. That heat, warming him from the inside, was no more.

But hadn't that, too, been loneliness? Much like it had been with C-ta… And yet… here was Yukiteru in front of him, the one who could prevent such inner isolation, slipping away so easily.

A-ya had a cruel revelation of the path he had been walking in comparison to the one he should have tread. From Yukiteru's bloodied lips came the words, "I know… that I'm being selfish. But if only one more person is needed, I want— _you_ … still… to make it…"

The previously possessed boy felt as though he'd been slapped square in the face. He furrowed his brow, eyes narrowing. There was no way he could let this happen… If Roy was right… if Twelve was… and Yato… If helplessness could also be negated by the ones who stood on your side, and Yukki truly supported him… Yato, a _god_ , had given away his existence for him – didn't that mean anything? He shook his head. "That's—just horrible," he said.

"…What?"

A-ya raised his voice. "Hey, to the ones gathered over there – are you gonna help out or not?" Everyone's discussion came to a halt, their attention shifted immediately to A-ya and Yukiteru. " _You_ ," – he eyed Shintaro – "…you have a medical bag. Can't you do something?"

Shintaro gave him a pained look. "…I—"

"Rika," A-ya continued, "you're with Yukiteru, aren't you? You know why he did what he did."

She closed her eyes. "That is so…"

"A-ya," said Yukki weakly, "stop… Really… You don't understand…"

"I can vouch for Yukki's actions, no matter how horrid," said Izaya, expression guarded as he looked upon A-ya. "I could vouch for you, too… A-ya-kun."

A-ya blinked. This person… the one who claimed to be his teammate, back in the woods? Yeah, right after Twelve and Suzuya had perished. What had he said his name was…?

"But also…" Izaya closed his eyes. "We have nine left, don't we?…"

Seidou ran a hand through his white hair. " **Get it yet? Aa… only eight make it.** "

"Which means," said Kaneki soberly, "one of us, still…"

"…Wait…," Shintaro said quietly, eyes wide. Something was wrong.

"You can't tell me you'll just let him die," A-ya pressed, eyes wide. "That's exactly the kind of thing—the game masters…"

"You've been following their preaching for some time, now, A-ya-kun," Izaya said, eyes averted. "Right though you are, there, there are certain rules that can't be bypassed, after all."

" **We could kill the demon kid instead,** " suggested Seidou, and Kaneki brought a hand to his chin, eyes shrouded.

"I want to listen to you," said Yukine firmly, looking at A-ya. They stared at one another, and A-ya felt a shiver down his spine.

Who was this guy, again? Someone who hadn't been around for awhile; Yato's first weapon…? A, spirit? _That is, a ghost,_ A-ya thought. His mind flitted over the thought that he was the same kind of anomaly, having died himself. But now wasn't the time to make those sorts of connections with people.

Yukine continued, "After all… Yato seems to have… died for you…" The spirit's expression was hard, his jaw set. "And for someone like him to have done that for anyone… He had to have really put a lot of—faith in you. So…"

A-ya's voice quieted, his words tentative. "Are you… Yukine?"

The spirit straightened. "I—am."

He averted his scarlet eyes. "Yato… he said that all he'd really wanted was to be at your side… with, someone else – Hiyori?"

Yukine's eyes widened just slightly, and he nodded.

"Because he'd said something like 'it's impossible now,' he… He made a wish on the demon: for me… to have the opportunity to be at Yukiteru's side… and, yours." A-ya looked at him, and Yukine blinked. "So, if you're on my side, if you're on our side, then please…!"

Yukine opened his mouth, closed it, and started forward to help. Izaya took him by the shoulder again, and Yukine jerked away. " _Izaya,_ what's your problem?" he frowned, turning on the informant.

Izaya remained impassive. Yukine remembered how much he hated the fact he couldn't see behind Izaya's eyes.

"I-if there needs to be only eight," said Hanyuu worriedly, "what if… what if one more really _does_ need to die…? I don't want that…! I don't _want_ it!"

"This is seriously a condition?" Yukine cried. "That isn't fair!"

" **If one more needs to die, just let 'em die!** " huffed Seidou.

"Seidou, please…," said Kaneki lowly, bringing his hand to his forehead.

"Rika-chan, do you know the answer to this cruel riddle?" inquired Izaya, looking at the ten-year-old meaningfully.

Everyone else looked to her – even Yukiteru had turned his head to her, looking rather miserable. A-ya's expression was imploring, and she remembered walking back to camp with him the night that Roy Mustang had died. She remembered kneeling in the grass nearby Yukiteru as they shared their sorrows, the building holding Minene and Celty's bodies burning behind them in the rain.

Gradually, Rika began shaking her head. "I… don't know. I don't. I… don't want anyone else… to…" She began to feel the old panic blossoming in her chest, the realization they were close, _so close_ to an ending, and if a mistake were made here, it would have all been for nothing, nothing at all… And then… "I don't want to start over again. I can't do it again. I can't. I just—I just want it to end. It needs to end. I don't _know_ what the right answer is…!"

"If only eight can make it," Yukiteru got out, his esophagus coated in a layer of blood that made him feel nauseous, "then one of us has to die."

"It is… true," admitted Kaneki, bowing his head.

"…I…" Shintaro couldn't form a sentence; he was rooted in place and he couldn't feel his own mouth. "…No…"

"This is _horrible!_ " snapped Yukine. "Haven't we all lost enough? Who said there has to be eight, anyway?!"

"The game masters," Yukiteru answered hollowly.

"If one of us has to die," A-ya said, "it can't be Yukiteru."

"It may not be entirely our choice," said Kaneki.

" _I don't care,_ " he spoke firmly. "An ending without him doesn't make any sense at all! If we follow what we're expected to—it shouldn't mean that he…!"

Yukiteru looked so tired. "A-ya…"

He shook his head. "He's been working towards the end of the game all this time, so… And if the true ending is really one where Yukiteru doesn't make it after all, then I'd—!"

"Calm down, kid," came a low, smooth voice from behind him, and he froze, horrified. Everyone besides the two nestled there in their own blood shifted into offensive or defensive stances, save for Shintaro. He just backed up, wide-eyed. Kaneki and Seidou both lowered their stances for fighting; Yukine raised his hand in the form of a halberd, teeth gritted; Izaya brought his hand to the hilt of the Prophet; and Rika shifted her position into a defensive stance.

Just behind A-ya, someone had revealed themselves: a man in his thirties, head shaved bald. His mouth twisted, stretching his goatee. Rika's eyes widened as Hanyuu gasped – only they knew this face. Smirking cruelly, he raised his hands in a show of peace. "I wouldn't go trying to kill me just yet," he said. He nodded his head to Rika, who merely stared.

"This is a game master," she announced, and the tension doubled even though Seidou piped up with a, " **Yeah, we kinda** _ **figured.**_ "

"Yeah, I'm a game master," the game master confirmed anyway. Bringing an arm over his abdomen, he bowed formally. "You may call me Durden." Then he straightened back up again, eyes shining violet. "Now, no more arguing. I think I've let this go on long enough." He paused to allow himself a snicker. "A-ya, chill. Yukki, stop. And both of you—stop being freaking _suicidal_. You don't need to _die_ —Jesus!"

Yukiteru stared at him, dumbfounded. "But… I…"

"Oh, suck it up," Durden waved him off. "You don't need all that gutsy stuff inside ya. Do y'all get it yet?" He looked around at everyone else. "There's already eight of you." Backing up a few paces, he leaned over and lifted Konoha's head by his white locks. "Muse claimed authority over the decision of whether Kuroha's demise ended Konoha too. They figured—hey, the only reason Kuroha was alive was because Konoha was the one revived. I thought it was bull, but who sticks around and who doesn't isn't part of my jurisdiction."

Durden released the android's bangs, nudging at his apparently lifeless body with his shoe and causing him to fall onto his side.

Shintaro put a hand over his mouth, looking away. He seemed paler than usual.

"Konoha," murmured Kaneki, looking lost.

"What happens if one of us dies now?" asked Yukine seriously, but Durden shook his head.

"I set up my own mechanism. Now that there's eight, none of ya can die of causes like that. If one of ya decides to be an asshole and kill somebody else – yeah, they die. But I've already slowed the bleeding of your shoulder, A-ya; and Yukki, your belly should be all held up for now. If I'd left it alone, your insides would be—well, outside of you. Get it? Neither of you are dying of blood loss, and Izaya isn't going to die 'cause of complications with his broken ribs."

Izaya's eyes narrowed a bit. "…Hah?"

"I mean," Durden continued, spreading his arms, "I'd still say it's a good idea to patch these kids up, because you've still got a few hurdles to overcome…"

"What do you mean?" asked Shintaro weakly.

"What, you think that winning is that easy?"

The eight of them (nine, I guess, including Hanyuu) looked at one another, perhaps wondering what about this had been _easy._

"But for now…" Durden's mouth twisted wryly, and he raised a fist to the sky. " _The winners are declared!_ Rika Furude, Shintaro Kisaragi, Ken Kaneki, Seidou Takizawa, Izaya Orihara, Yukiteru Amano, Yukine, and A-ya, you've made it to the end." He beamed at them all, no less conniving. "Good job. How does it feel?"

"I kinda feel like crying, to be honest," said Shintaro.

" **I feel like ripping out your throat,** " said Seidou.

"Seidou," said Shintaro quickly, "I don't think that's a good idea—"

Durden laughed heartily. "That would be _hilarious!_ Yeah—uh, no, I don't think you wanna do that."

"What are we supposed to do from here, then, huh?" demanded Yukine, amber eyes narrowed and focused on the game master.

"The tower," said A-ya softly. "And… the other masters…"

Shintaro thinned his lips for a moment before uttering, "Muse…"

"It's about time we get to the bottom of this," said Rika, Hanyuu nodding vigorously behind her.

Ever smirking, Durden folded his large arms over his chest. "What you need to do," he said, "is you need to find the passage to the tower. The good news is it's right nearby. The bad news is it's in the morgue of the hospital."

Everyone looked to Izaya, who smiled thinly and shrugged.

"I know none of you wanna listen to me," Durden continued, eyeing Seidou in particular, "but please—I can make things a hell of a lot easier if you just listen."

"But what guarantees honesty?" uttered A-ya, looking up at the game master. "Is it that you want the game to end, or are you just working your way towards reset…?"

Durden showed his teeth smirking this time. "In this world," he sneered, "there are only things that sound like lies, and things that sound like truths. Right, kid?"

A-ya's eyes narrowed. Izaya snickered drily, and A-ya shot him a glance.

"Whether this guy is for the game or not," Shintaro said slowly, "it could be… you know, his job to tell us all this. What I mean is… uh…"

Kaneki picked up the explanation for him. "If he sends us on a pointless scavenger hunt, it wouldn't be very fun to watch. There's no reason for him to lie, so at least about the basic things like that, we should believe him…"

"As for whether he's for the game…" Yukiteru tilted his head, thoughtful. "I mean, he says he set up that we can't die now…"

"He's probably sick of resetting," said Rika.

"I don't think that's it," said Izaya, peering into Durden. "Perhaps it's less that he's tired about that, and more that he's excited to see what could happen next."

Durden gave a half-laugh. "Yeah, pretty much. Hah… You're great, Izaya. I dunno whether to be happy you can understand me, or pissed off." Shaking his head, he continued, "But really, the entrance is in the morgue, behind one of the wall panels. With the team you have, you should be able to reach it despite the debris. Just follow the tunnel behind there, and you'll be set. Greyson and Rainbow will give you the rundown from that point. I'm not supposed to give any more than that."

" **Ah, wait…** agh…" Irritable, Seidou ran a hand through his hair. "Then… Durden, Greyson, Rainbow—who all are we dealing with? Can we ask that?"

"There's Aureus," A-ya said flatly, and Yukki shot him a look. A-ya shrugged. "At this point, should it be a secret?"

"I met him too," said Shintaro, who laughed timidly.

"Well… There are seven we know about," said Yukiteru, voice weak. He cleared his throat, speaking more fully: "There's the three Seidou just said, then Aureus and Rodd… Seraph, and—Muse."

"Muse being the leader," added Shintaro.

"Is that all correct?" inquired Yukiteru of Durden.

"Sounds right to me."

"There are… seven game masters," murmured Rika.

"Uuu, how do we deal with that…?" asked Hanyuu, on the verge of wailing her signature wail.

"Not all of them are on the side of Muse," Shintaro pointed out.

"So, some of them might be fighting with us?" asked Yukine.

"Will we necessarily be _fighting_ them?" asked the hikkiNEET, nervous.

"I _hope_ so," frowned Seidou. "So what're _you_ , Durden? Our side? Or not?"

"No need to sound so accusatory," said Durden, humored. "I prefer to say 'neutral.'"

Izaya crossed his arms loosely. "Neutral… Alright, well. I don't believe there are seven masters, either," he added. "I don't suppose there's an eighth, Durden?"

Durden raised his eyebrows. "Could be. Maybe not." He shrugged.

"What're we up against?" asked Seidou. "So seven, maybe eight game masters – what can they _do?_ "

"There was Aureus: symbolism," said Yukiteru. He began counting them off on his fingers. "And then Rodd, the timekeeper… Rainbow and Greyson are the bonds of the heart, or something like that… Seraph was 'depth,' I think…"

"How do you know all that?" asked A-ya, staring at him.

"Uh…"

"That kid told you a lot, huh?" asked Durden, who laughed heartily. Yukiteru's eyes rounded, as if he'd been caught in the act of something horrid. "He really gives away a lot. You shouldn't worry too much; for a prisoner, he was treated pretty well. Rainbow decided they'd keep him as a pet. It was Rain who let 'im out, too, so he'll meet up with you guys soon."

"Wait, who…?" Yukine looked so lost.

"The cellphone?" Izaya inquired in an undertone, mostly to himself. Yukine looked up at Izaya, perhaps hoping for an answer in his distant expression.

"Who was kept prisoner?" demanded Rika.

Seidou silently ground his teeth together while Shintaro took a step towards the half-ghoul, hoping to keep him calm. "I'm glad… they're out?" the hikkiNEET said, and tittered. "Who… was imprisoned, anyway?"

"Does anyone actually know what the fuck he's talking about?" scowled Seidou.

"I know not what this could mean…," said Hanyuu faintly.

"…Durden," said Kaneki. The game master looked at him. "You… Aren't you the game master that Saiko had described to me? You… were at Touka's bedside right before…"

The bald one turned to Kaneki properly, scratching at his beard. "That scene sucked," he admitted.

The half-ghoul's expression did not change. "You claim to be neutral… Durden, who are you? What is the part you play?"

"Well… I guess I can tell you that, huh?" He quirked an eyebrow. "I did reveal myself, didn't I? Hm. Since you're so curious… Kaneki." He held his hands out to either side. " _I_ am plot – preparation, convenience, and lack thereof. Every creator for any tale has to play the game 'Can You?', you know. I am the epitome of that game. I am what makes each of you understandable. I'm what makes you _possible_. I'm the scientific jargon that explains a sci-fi techno gadget, but also the simple defect that fucks it all up. _That's_ what I am."

"If that's the case," said Izaya coolly, "then what part is it that you play in this game?"

"Oh, here?" Durden chuckled. "Well, I didn't come up with it, if that's what you think."

"Muse?" guessed Shintaro.

"No," said the master. "Seraph." He paused. "She's one of the ones on your side, by the way. Isn't _that_ ironic? But, no… Me, I just stir the pot, you know. I set up items pillars, place the ammo, leave out food sources… I set up the barrier that makes up the dome. I set up rules… I, ah, also have control of the weather. How badass is that?"

"Hey, um…" Shintaro wrung his wrists, looking nervously to the bald game master. "Durden… If that's what we're up against… Well, what I mean is…"

"You don't wanna kill any of the game masters," Durden confirmed, not waiting for him to finish. "You've got the right idea. In the end, I'm merely transparent…" His violet eyes clouded, and he closed his eyes, smiling again. "We're all nothing but concepts – you can't just kill us like that… Even if one of you were to rip my heart from my chest right now, there would no longer be any plot to this story, right? Suddenly: why are any of you here? There is no game. There is no point, no rhyme or reason for anything at all. All things are aimless… But if even one of you snapped out of it and said, 'Hey, maybe we should go to that tower,' you've suddenly got a plot back. I come back to life, and then it's like you never killed me." He shrugged. "Kill symbolism, and everything loses meaning. Everything's meaningless – talk about rotten nihilism. But as long as people exist, there will be meaning perceived somewhere… And then: bam, Aureus is alive and kicking. You see what I'm saying?"

Seidou took a step forward. "But wait, what the hell are we expected to do, then? If we can't kill the game masters that dragged us into this bullshit, what's the point of going into the tower?"

"Uh… the prize at the end?" Durden suggested with raised eyebrows.

"Will we be sent home?" asked Shintaro weakly. A-ya looked to Yukiteru with fear, but Yukki only looked, stone-faced, up into Durden's sly visage.

"Will those that have perished be waiting for us?" asked Rika.

"Will anything be waiting for us at all?" asked Izaya, voice low.

"Or…" Kaneki closed his eyes, "…will everything that happened here be erased?"

"What sort of prize are we gonna find, here?" asked Seidou suspiciously.

"Yeah," agreed Yukine. "How do we know what we're gonna get is anything we want, anyway?"

"Look, you guys are gonna have to go and find that out on your own. I'll meet up with you sometime, once you're a ways into the tower." He flashed a smug grin. "'Til then, I'm done here."

"Hey, wait—" began Yukki, but Durden merely said, "Heavy metal," and disappeared.

The eight remaining (plus Hanyuu) fell into silence. They looked at one another, unable to find words to breach the gaps between them all. It was Shintaro that spoke up: "I guess I'll… tend to Yukiteru and A-ya." The invisible tension, somehow, was suddenly alleviated.

"Good idea," said Kaneki. Everyone seemed to be breathing again. The reality hadn't yet sunk in. Was it really the end of the battle royal? After ten days, could it really be here: the end? So close?

Izaya limped over to the bakery just nearby A-ya and Yukki as Shintaro went over and knelt to tend to them. Yukine followed after him, even though the informant refused help. "I think, from here…" said Shintaro, "…it's best to gather our bearings. Everyone should get to know everyone – we're on the final stretch; no use messing up now."

"It would be best," agreed Rika.

A-ya bowed his head, listening to the one named Shintaro asking Yukiteru where he needed to be tended to. "A-ya," said Yukki, and he looked up to see his smiling face. Shintaro was looking at him too, with an absurdly apologetic look. "We made it."

"…Yeah."

"More or less," grumbled Seidou, standing with arms crossed just behind Shintaro.

"All of us did," said Kaneki quietly.

Yukine looked up and to the tower looming over them from a few blocks away. "Only a little left to go."

Rika closed her eyes as Hanyuu folded fingers tightly together. "The end," Rika said, "may be upon us, after all."

* * *

"The end… huh?" Little Anna slowed her kicking feet from her seated perch atop the mausoleum in the graveyard. She brushed her light brown hair from her face, looking up to the sun peeking out from behind clouds. Lowering her eyes, she looked down to the nameless graves. "…"

Pushing herself forward with her palms, she slipped from the roof of the mausoleum and to the steps below. She landed gracefully, arms spread out to either side – she raised them as if she were a young gymnast sticking a landing. She lowered them slowly, then, looking beyond to the metal gates waiting on the other side of the graveyard.

"I've been waiting so long…" Smiling childishly, she began walking forward with a spring in her step. Her eyes bright, she sparkled with excitement. "I think it's about time for me to have a chance to play too."


	71. Breakthrough

"Everyone patched up?"

"I think so, Kaneki," muttered Seidou, rubbing at his forehead. "The best this loser can, anyway…"

Shintaro looked at him, frowning. "Hey…"

"He's doing fine," said Kaneki, casting an assuring glance to Shintaro. He then turned to the youngest of the group. "Rika-chan, is something wrong?"

She seemed to snap from some deep thought, shaking her head. "I am fine. I am just… disbelieving of our close proximity to an ending." She paused, delicately brushing a strand of hair from her face. "That is… the possibility… We can't be… entirely sure…"

"You're scared," Shintaro said quietly, and she looked at him. He smiled awkwardly, brow furrowed. "Because you're daring to hope."

"Hope hurts," Seidou said bluntly.

"It's not hope that hurts you," said Hanyuu, and Seidou frowned at the goddess. "It is the despair that follows."

"Shut the fuck up," he uttered, and she stared at him in alarm at the foul language.

"Seidou," Shintaro sighed, "isn't that 'blasphemy'?"

"You think I care?"

Kaneki looked to the tower, wordless. He would not say aloud to the ones who looked to him for answers that hope was something he couldn't fathom right now. But he would go on until the end, if only because there was nothing else to do.

A-ya, Yukiteru, and Yukine had formed a tight clump, as Yukine had approached them and crouched at their sides, partly needing answers, partly needing to reach out. Izaya remained leaning on the wall nearby, listening to them.

Yukine had already had his proper introduction to the group, while Shintaro was going around tending to everyone with Kaneki's help. So now, he spoke with the two whom Yato had perished for.

"Thank you very much, by the way," said Yukiteru to the spirit. "Yato… I owe him a lot…" He averted his eyes. "I feel kinda bad for yelling at him last chance I had… But I had no idea what he was doing…"

Yukine shook his head. "I didn't know either." He frowned with some irritation. "He's insanely reckless. Kind of idiotic." He paused, lowering his head. "But he… was selfish, too. He'd do anything to stay alive… so…"

"I'm sorry," A-ya said flatly.

"I don't want your apologies," said Yukine with a frown. "I'm upset, but not with you. I'm mad at Yato, but… You know, he preached horrible things like 'if someone kills themselves, there was no helping them.' 'If someone's possessed, there is no saving them.' That kind of thing, you know? So I think it's better if… I try and understand… what changed that… and why he did what he did. I'm not accusing you of anything wrong, but what I'm saying is that you have to have been someone pretty special for him to do that."

A-ya averted is eyes. "I don't know why he did."

"Well," offered Yukiteru, "you did say that all Yato said he wanted to be by Yukine's side… and that you should be by mine and his instead, right?"

"So?"

Yukine's eyes narrowed, staring at the ground. "I wouldn't be all too surprised if he felt that guilty."

"I'll bet," said Yukiteru, "that he wanted to feel like he did at least one thing right… Doing something like that… saving A-ya like he did… I mean, I don't know a lot, but _I'd_ pray to a god like that."

Yukine looked at Yukiteru, who smiled at him. "…I guess he is a god of fortune, huh?" the Shinki said weakly. "I want to be so mad at him for it… but I won't. I won't."

Izaya spoke up, here: "Why not?"

Yukine looked at him. "…What?"

"Why not? It won't affect your master if you have some negative emotions, now," Izaya shrugged. "You'll grieve how you will."

He shook his head. "You don't understand. I just…" The spirit lowered his head again, hiding his eyes. "I just… can't stand the thought of him… gone. That's all…"

Izaya watched the pavement below Yukine's obscured visage, blinking as he caught a glimpse of his tears as they fell. He'd thought to speak, but fell silent. He had nothing to say. It wasn't like he didn't feel similarly. Having become a deep rival to him, Izaya, it was hard to lose such a solid, deep-rooted enemy, one who had shattered his existence and made him out to be a fool…

Aa, wrong. Yato had been something more complicated than an enemy. A dastardly thing, that.

Yato was a horrible thing to Izaya called 'friend.'

Yukiteru tried to comfort Yukine, on the other hand. "I think…" He hesitated, thought about it, and continued. "I think he felt the same… about you. When my group tried to take him in… I got to talk to him a lot. I'd decided he was a really nice person, you know. He granted a wish of mine for free."

"For—free?" Yukine, wiping quickly at his face, looked to the other incredulously. " _Free?_ Yato would _never_."

Yukiteru stared blankly. "Is it that big a deal?"

"There's no such thing as a free wish," A-ya came in dully. "He said that. The price for your wish was his pride. The price for mine was him."

Yukine stared at A-ya, speechless. He felt proud, he thought, but mostly very sad.

"Mm…" Yukiteru touched his chin. "Well, I'd like to say that this was a positive development that I helped along, but I don't think that's quite it… It wasn't me, and it wasn't A-ya, either. Even when we had him as a teammate… it is true he was most responsive to me, and he _did_ go and say he'd grant my wish to be at A-ya's side… And when he killed my group, he avoided me and Rika…"

"He…" Yukine drew his lips into a thin line, refraining.

"When you destroyed the forest," said A-ya, "I found him. He said your name, so I brought him to a safe place instead of killing him." He glanced at the spirit. "You know… 'Yukki.'"

"'Yuki'… Huh." Yukine's amber eyes were filled with a beautiful kind of pain.

"But that's just it," said Yukiteru. "Even though I'd influenced him that much… and leading up to what just happened here… I'd be willing to claim that it was less about me and more about _you_ , Yukine. It's like Izaya would say, like… it wouldn't matter who was the one he clung to, as long as it reminded him of you."

Izaya looked over again with comical surprise. "Hah?"

"I…" Yukine was hesitant. "I don't know that it's really…"

"You were his future, kinda, if that makes sense," said Yukiteru brightly.

"That other girl must have made him regress," commented A-ya. He was really taking on that monotony again pretty fast. "You were her opposite, and therefore his saving grace. Like an angel…? No, you're a spirit, that's too much. But the point is that he was able to develop because of you. You were that kind of person to him."

"I… thank you, I think…"

"Speaking of which, I couldn't say it yet…" A-ya stared into Yukine, who furrowed his brow. "You're a spirit… I find that exciting. I've always wanted to meet one of the dead."

"Please don't say it like that," Yukine said uncomfortably. "Especially having apparently died in-game…"

"So have I," A-ya said immediately, and began to smile – a faint, eerie sort of smile.

"Uh…"

"A-ya," Yukiteru frowned disapprovingly, and A-ya stopped the smiling, bringing a hand to his chin and averting his red eyes.

"That is… Yukine, I'm honored to share such an abnormal experience with you," said A-ya.

Yukine didn't even know what to say. What sort of honor was that?

"Especially knowing… that you've been a spirit all this time… I wasn't kidding. I'm into the occult – to even _interact_ with a spirit is something beyond amazing. What's it like?"

"It's really… uh…" Yukine awkwardly scratched at the back of his head. This was getting more and more weird. Yeah, he _definitely_ thought this was uncomfortable. "It's not all that it's cut out to be… being a spirit and all…"

"A-ya, be more polite," Yukki cried. "What if he doesn't like talking about it?" He looked to the Shinki. "Though it is pretty cool – I'm glad you're not scary at all."

"Wh—"

"But hey, since all of us are here, and we all made it… Yukine, do you think we all could be friends?"

The Shinki stared in disbelief. Was it normal to ask like that? "I…" He thought about the horrible agony of knowing your life was over – he could not attend school. He could not grow older. He could not be seen by the living, save for a few exceptions. He remembered his potent longing to have friends his age. "I mean…" He looked away, drawing his lips together as he fought to keep composure. "I guess that would be fine."

"Wow, how great!" Yukki cried.

A-ya watched Yukiteru's exuberance at having collected another friend, and Yukine's allowance of bittersweet happiness giving way on his stubborn visage. He watched them, thinking to himself that he should probably feel good too. Thinking that he should be relieved that Yukine would forgive them for dragging Yato to his demise. Really, all he could perceive was the nagging thought that he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't have made it. He shouldn't have been a winner, with Yukiteru or not. A-ya had gone down the wrong path in terms of this game, and as an antagonist, he should have perished. Had he truly been redeemed last-minute? This felt so wrong…

And everyone seemed to be so forgiving, grudgingly or not. Even Seidou couldn't say anything anymore because he knew how similar they were… But how similar were they, really?

Kaneki still looked at him with warmth despite the blood on his hands.

He had tried to kill Rika and Shintaro both, but Rika seemed all too understanding of the whole ordeal, and Hanyuu treated him like he was an old friend. Shintaro seemed _apologetic_ , for whatever reason, and that only succeeded in making A-ya feel worse, as if that made any sense whatsoever.

Yukiteru insisted that everything was alright between them now, despite all the conflict in between. Yes, there had been a time where he'd been angry at A-ya, and there had been times of doubt, too. He admitted that. But ultimately he couldn't remain angry for all too long, and after all, A-ya was his first friend!

…And what was _that_ supposed to mean? A-ya dared not dwell too long, else his doubt would corrode him again.

More consuming was his unshakable feeling of being out of place. _I shouldn't have won this game,_ he thought, giving an ever so slight smile out of politeness to Yukine. _I should be dead._

Would the game reset if he died now?

But there was Yukiteru, just beside him… He didn't _want_ to die, he just felt… guilty. That was it, he felt guilty.

What was the point of feeling guilty now? What's done was done, and come the end, if he was right, there was every possibility of all of this being erased – including his sins. Roy, Suzuya, Akira, Shirazu… They could well be alive, and so could C-ta, B-ko, Twelve…

No, even Yukiteru had come to the conclusion that who died didn't matter if it were in this game, as long as it weren't the two anchors that needed to make it: that is, Rika and Shintaro. Yukki had even gone so far as to kill people out of that very logic. He only wanted to end the game, and people needed to die in order for it to reach its conclusion, that was all. So why should A-ya feel bad?

That's right, why should he?

Everyone else had accepted the fact that he was one of 'the eight,' so why couldn't he accept it himself? He heard talk about being puppeteered by the game masters – and weren't all of his mistakes just that? He had preached exactly what it took to end this game, and so what happened? He was thrown to the abyss of his own mind, and had been approached by an enticing offer at just the right time – just the wrong time. Something told him that the masters of this game… if they really wanted reset too, wouldn't it be an obvious choice to nudge A-ya in that direction? It makes just the right amount of conflict, and after all, A-ya had been so close to enlightenment! Hadn't he?

…This didn't change his deep sense of guilt, but it made sense, and just this was able to give him some slight assurance. Validation.

Closing his eyes, A-ya thought to himself that he was not alone, no matter how lonely he felt. He was not helpless, no matter how helpless he felt. He was not evil… well, maybe a little bit. But Yukiteru was evil too. Everyone was.

If he had made it to the end, he would trudge on with everyone else and make it to the tower. And he would _climb_. He, with the seven around him, would make it to the top, and he would claim his prize because _he made it_.

Yato was right, after all. He couldn't be 'helpless' if he'd come this far. He'd made too large a mess to be considered incompetent. It was his mess, so he should be proud of it. Right? Something like that…

A-ya had been possessed, and had come back from it – not unscathed by any means, but he was alive, _and_ he still had a soul. He'd died once and come back. What's more, he made it _here_ , to the _end._ Not only had he cooperated with a demon and formed a bond with him, had accepted him and earned _respect_ … he had also earned the faith of a god somehow or another. He'd witnessed the impossible more than once, and he'd _managed_ the impossible, too. Now! Did that seem like a lie, or a truth?

His clothes became the attire of the Dark-Clad Hero, but he barely noticed the shift. His shirtsleeve was rolled up, the other disintegrating as he'd kinda ripped off the sleeve when he'd gotten his arm ripped off, and he gained a black vest and red tie. No cape anymore. Somehow, his cat ears were still lacking. Maybe that was a mark of his naïveté that he could never regain.

He heard his name, and opened his eyes again. He felt so tired, but also determined. Maybe 'fed up' was a good term? He'd been misled, but he knew the 'truth' of this game just as he ever did. He began anticipating their entry into the tower.

"That's right," said Yukiteru, "A-ya, have you met Izaya yet?" He paused, glancing up at Izaya. "I mean… uh, _re_ -met."

Yukine tilted his head. "I actually can't say whether either of you were all that close to him before Yato severed his ties… just because it must have happened after I… uh, died."

"I… sort of met him," said A-ya, looking lopsidedly over to Izaya, who averted his eyes.

"I'll apologize for that encounter," he said, sounding more bitter than apologetic. "Yukine-kun, you see… A-ya-kun was the first to interact with me after Yato did that. I didn't know what he'd done yet, so… well." He shrugged.

"Right," Yukine nodded. "What happened?"

"I'm not talking about it," Izaya said flatly, and Yukine blinked.

"…Right, well, I'm not all too sure, but maybe it's better you forgot all about him beforehand," he said to A-ya and Yukiteru.

"I think I'd like to remember him," Yukki said, and Izaya laughed mirthlessly.

"Tragic, really," the informant said, mocking his own circumstance. "But that's what makes it comedic, right, A-ya?"

A-ya looked at him, and into his tired, empty eyes. "Take a tragedy, like that…"

"…And present it as a comedy to the audience." Izaya looked somewhere far off.

The previously possessed boy thought on this for minute. "Were we close, Izaya?"

"Would it matter?"

"I guess not."

Izaya chuckled.

"Well, at least I remember," offered Yukine. "Sorry that my master's a jerk."

"I'm sorry that I brought you back into this mess," Izaya answered with a thin smile.

"You know," piped in Shintaro, as the other four got absorbed into the conversation, "despite everything, I'm, uh… glad I remember you."

"Aw, I'm touched," he said with some sarcasm.

"I'm… also glad you lived," he added, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"I still don't remember," said Seidou bluntly, "and I still wouldn't really care if you died."

Izaya looked at Seidou, smile still on but eyes narrowing. "…So touched."

"Seidou," said Kaneki, "knowing that these are the people we will be fighting alongside up to the end of this tale, you should be more kind…"

"That is kindness," Seidou sniffed. "It's honesty. What, you want me to lie?"

"Well…"

"I think," said Rika, "that what Kaneki means is that you should consider better accepting the people around you. We'd best come to terms with our partners, lest we may fail. We are a team, and we must act as such."

Kaneki was nodding. Seidou rolled his eyes.

"…Izaya Orihara."

Everyone looked to Hanyuu, the one who had spoken. Raising his eyebrows, Izaya answered with a, "Hah?"

"I am a goddess… Unlike you, I am not a Child of Man."

"So, I'm human and you're not?" Loosely, he crossed his arms over his chest. "We've gone over our species a handful of times now. What's your point, Hanyuu?"

She closed her eyes for a bit a longer than a standard blink, twining her fingers together. "I remember you, even though my vessel does not. Much like Shintaro and Yukine, the effects of your severed ties do not reach me. You… have done many questionable things."

"I really don't need you telling me that." He raised a nonchalant hand. "I already know. You don't like me; it's fine. Maybe it's just that you don't trust me. It's fine. I wouldn't either."

"It's also true that you saved Rika's life," Hanyuu spoke slowly, as though it were admittance that she didn't want to give. Surprise rippled through the others – it was something that Shintaro wouldn't have known, either, and quite frankly, Izaya didn't seem like the type to save lives. Yeah, maybe he brought Yukine back, but… still. "I'm sure that if Rika could recall, she would continue to be both grateful and intrigued by your role in this game… as well as you as a person."

Izaya settled, beginning to look vaguely humored. "Really… Well. I'm honored."

"The child A-ya… has already been forgiven," Hanyuu continued, looking over to him. A-ya blinked. "Yato has absolved him of his sins, and so… Izaya Orihara, Child of Man, I, not borne of man, am forgiving you of your sins." Hanyuu's dark gaze softened a bit, looking upon the comically surprised Izaya Orihara. "You're forgiven, now. Though the fates may have their way with you in terms of atonement, your soul is now clean."

Izaya pondered this for some time, the others suspended in this curious silence. The informant shook his head, laughing oddly, drily… perhaps hollowly. "You can't just go and do that." He didn't look at her.

"I can. I'm the goddess Hanyuu."

"That doesn't matter. It's too late for something like that. It's very cute of you and all, but there's no point."

"There is," she said matter-of-factly. "It matters not whether you accept it. My word holds a weight you may not be able to yet perceive, in your mortal state."

He cocked an eyebrow, silent. He waited, just in case she had more to say. When there was nothing, he rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Alright then, well… I suppose we should all begin to consider moving forward, don't you think?"

"I was beginning to think the same," Kaneki agreed, and Izaya pushed himself from the wall to stand upright, his weight shifted to his good leg.

A-ya, Yukiteru, and Yukine all looked one another, and the two Yukis got to their feet.

"I figure that Seidou and I can move some of the debris out of the way, being stronger than the average human," said Kaneki, explanatory. "Yukiteru-kun, if you want to help, your gravitation would be very helpful and much appreciated."

"Of course I will!" Yukiteru said with a curt nod.

"I can help too," offered Yukine. "I may not be able to become a sword or anything… but I can sort of slice at things with borderlines, so I can break up anything that's real big."

Kaneki was nodding. "That's very good. Yes, thank you."

A-ya looked at the red-stained ground, and noticed Yukiteru's cellphone. He kept his curiosity at bay, but went to pick it up for his friend. Hesitating, his hand hovered over the cellular device. He eyed the scissors lying discarded nearby. After some consideration, he picked up the scissors and slipped them into his pocket before grabbing the cellphone and standing up. No one noticed. "I have lightning, too," said A-ya monotonously, looking at Kaneki even as he held out the cellphone to Yukiteru.

"Oh," said the cloaked one. "Thanks, A-ya."

"If we need more breaking up, that would be useful," Kaneki nodded. "Thank you, A-ya. In that case, it's Rika, Shintaro, and Izaya that should stay back while we clear the debris for a path to… the basement, he said." Kaneki touched his chin.

"There was a discolored panel on the wall in the morgue," said Izaya. "That's probably what we'll be looking for. It's on the south wall in there, so we probably want to come from the other side."

"Alright. Then that's what we'll do."

"It doesn't matter if we break the door, right?" asked Seidou dully. "We'll still get where we need to be, right?"

"Well, yes, but we probably shouldn't damage more than we need to…"

"I say it doesn't matter," huffed Yukine. "Let's just go for it."

"I like him," said Seidou. "Did I ever say that before?"

"But," Yukiteru protested, holding up the phone, "my friend is supposed to meet with us… What if we hurt him?"

"Screw 'im," said Seidou.

"Uhh… I don't know if being so aggressive is a good thing," said Shintaro awkwardly.

"Violence only get us into more precarious situations," agreed Rika.

"Technically speaking," said A-ya, "knowing the game masters, would they really let whoever's coming to meet us die so ridiculously?"

"That's a good point, A-ya-kun," said Izaya, amused.

"But that is definitely not a solid science," said Shintaro.

Izaya shrugged. "I mean, I bargained my life on it. Not that it was rational, by any means."

"Yeah, you bargained _mine_ , too," frowned Shintaro.

"Oh, did I?"

"When you _pushed me off the balcony._ Remember?"

"Oh, that _is_ right, isn't it?"

"I could still kill you," growled Seidou to Izaya.

"Please don't," said Hanyuu with a trace of nervousness.

"Wait, Izaya, you did _what_ to Shintaro?" demanded Yukine. " _Why?_ "

"The point is," said Izaya pointedly, "was I right?"

"Well, yeah," Shintaro conceded, crossing his arms. "But…"

"Actually," said Izaya, seeming struck, "that _is_ strange, isn't it…?"

Shintaro slumped. "What now?"

"If Muse has jurisdiction over who lives and who dies, and Muse is the mastermind who ultimately would prefer reset, what was it that ensured your survival? I did that to prove the point that you needed to make it, but you could have easily died there… Is it that it was too anticlimactic a death…? Maybe, but…"

"What are you going on about?" asked Yukine sourly.

"It is true that it's odd," said A-ya. "What happened, was it that you pushed him off a high balcony and something saved him?"

"That's right, Konoha caught him."

"Could it be that a different game master aligned the timing to make sure he was alright?" suggested the dark-clad one.

"Could be," said Izaya with a slight nod. "But do you really think they'd have such a say if it weren't the mastermind?"

"I'm getting what you're saying now," said Shintaro. "Maybe they justified it another way?"

"Timing…" Yukiteru thought about it, putting a hand to his chin. "Well, I don't think it's timing, Rodd seems to be pro-Muse for sure. He tried to make me into an antagonist just recently. It was horrible."

"Maybe some other justification," said A-ya. "If it's something symbolic, it could easily be Aureus, but I don't know that he'd be able to _save_ people so well in his position…"

"It doesn't help that he seems pretty clumsy," added Shintaro, hand at the back of his neck.

"Maybe one of the other masters is on our side after all," said Rika.

"Well, that would be interesting, no?" said Izaya.

"I'm looking forward to seeing… them all in person," agreed A-ya slowly. Him and Izaya looked at one another and had a silent exchange. Izaya smiled thinly at the dark-clad boy.

"But, uh…" Shintaro scratched at his head. "Doesn't that mean it was way riskier for you to do that to me?"

"Only as risky as shooting at me with a machine gun." Izaya flashed him a grin. Shintaro looked glum.

"Well, that's horrible and all," said Yukine, "but what are we doing from here? What's our course of action?"

Everyone looked to Kaneki, whose hand was to his chin, his grey eyes distant.

After a while, he spoke: "Such trivial things don't matter anymore. Go in with as much force as you want. It would be a horrible sort of plot to hurt that freed prisoner in the process. Tasteless and without purpose. They'll be fine."

He looked at everyone, looking infinitely exhausted and indefinitely finished with all of this. "Let's begin."

* * *

With five inhuman forces put to the task, it really didn't take all that long. There was one incident where Seidou threw a piece of wall in Izaya's direction, whereon Izaya just barely dodged. Seidou claimed that he hadn't intended to do it, and Seidou found that the next piece of wall he lifted decided to electrocute him.

"Oh, sorry," said A-ya with a small smile. "I didn't know you were going for that one."

"Oh, what the fuck…"

Shintaro, standing back with Izaya and Rika, could only pinch the bridge of the nose, sighing heavily.

But everyone's joint efforts led them below ground level, where to some of the group's discomfort, remains of the females awaited them. Seidou didn't help: "Oh, yeah, I think that ankle's from the white-haired chick. She tasted like Shigekix Super Cola Candy!" He made it very difficult to remain somber, though Yukine tried. Seidou was starting piss him off by that point, though.

"Don't get distracted by the meat, boy," called Izaya, "remember what you're sniffing out, now!"

Seidou looked to the sky. "I'm going to fucking kill this guy."

"No, you're not," said Kaneki simply.

"Maybe you should be more respectful," Yukine said tersely to Seidou, who drew his lips into a thin line.

"Of the dead?"

"Yeah."

"What, do you wanna be called 'sir'?"

" _Seidou_ ," Kaneki frowned.

"Sorry, sorry. That was pretty bad, wasn't it?"

"Can't we all get along?" inquired Yukiteru, tentative.

"I think both Seidou and Izaya are being children," huffed Yukine.

"I agree," said Rika.

"Wow, harsh," said Izaya. "The two youngest, no less?"

"It's okay, Yukine," said Yukki. "Me and A-ya are fourteen too."

"Mm." A-ya wasn't being very talkative.

"I think the only thing good about this banter," said Shintaro tiredly, "is that it kinda… I don't know… How do I put it?"

"It feels like family," offered Rika, as Hanyuu began nodding, then stopped, furrowing her brow.

"I wouldn't say that much, Rika…"

"I would," Rika smiled.

When the five-man taskforce thought they had found the wall, they called down Izaya to come check. He looked skeptically at the terrain in front of him: a landslide of concrete, bent metal, and broken glass. He was about to make a snide remark about his shattered leg when Yukiteru lifted him gravitationally, bringing him to glide down to where the wall was.

"Well," said Izaya as he was set gently on his feet. He had nothing else to say. He looked at the wall, limping up to it and touching it with his hand. Brushing away the building's dusty residue, he found the edges of the panel and felt the ever so slight draft from the crack there. "This is the one," he confirmed.

Before they made any move to remove the panel from the wall, Yukiteru got Rika and Shintaro down safely. Rika discovered it was a much better experience than being suddenly thrust into the air and above the trees, Yukiteru hovering beside her as he came to the conclusion that hey, he should down the entire forest.

No, this time it was gentle, careful, and kind. Rika wondered if this weightless sensation was anything like how Hanyuu perceived her own movement.

Shintaro was unnerved by the experience. He tugged at his scarf. "Um… thanks," he said awkwardly. He'd never been to the morgue, but even with the sky above them, the sun shining and much of the carnage hidden under debris, he still knew that this was a burial site, so to speak, and that made him feel a little uncomfortable.

"That scarf suits you, Shintaro."

Her voice came from nowhere, whispering behind him somewhere like she were following after him politely this whole time.

He almost passed out. He really did.

"Shintaro," said Seidou, "what the fuck?" Behind his irritation was a layer of concern. The red-scarfed one had sat down abruptly, what color he had in his visage drained.

"Is it that you are okay?" asked Rika, concerned.

He tried to answer, but couldn't. He could have sworn he just heard… But there was no way, was there?

 _Ayano…_

Yukine offered a hand to him, and Shintaro took it. "I—sorry, I lost my balance." He gave a weak sort of laugh.

Seidou rolled his eyes.

"Shintaro," said Kaneki gently, "it's alright if there's something to be said…"

"Really," he insisted. "I'm sure… it's, nothing…" He trailed off, eyes wandering to the shadows detailing the piled-up debris. _Was_ it nothing…? Lord, what if he'd finally lost it? Though it wasn't the first time _that_ thought had occurred to him…

They were all interrupted by the chiming of Yukiteru's phone. Everyone watched as he swiftly opened the flip-phone to read the message. "It looks like he's on the other side," he said. "C'mon, let's get it open!" He tried to get his fingers in the crack between panels, but without success. "How do we…?"

"I could use my kagune," suggested Kaneki thoughtfully.

"Why don't we ask whoever it is to open it from the inside?" asked Yukine, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"But I can't send messages," said Yukki, "only receive."

A-ya just observed, seemingly uninterested.

"It's not about whether you can _text_ him," said Seidou, stalking over to the panel and pounding his fist on it. " _OI! OPEN UP._ "

"Please don't yell while we're underground, though…," Shintaro said faintly.

"I like having eardrums, even in death," said Yukine, picking at his ear.

"Oh, fuck you," said Seidou. The half-ghoul stopped, looking startled, then looked over at the panel. It jostled a bit, and he moved out of the way.

"Can't we help?" asked Yukiteru, brow furrowed.

"Only by not blocking it," A-ya shrugged.

"Or blasting open the damn door," shrugged Seidou.

"Which isn't preferable, by this point," said Kaneki.

Kincho was wriggling in Rika's arms, more restless than ever. He grunted impatiently, and Rika gave him an apologetic look before looking up to Yukki. "But, wait… Who _is_ this person that was taken in by the game masters? And… why?"

He didn't have the chance to answer, because the panel was forced open a crack. Since no one moved immediately, A-ya grabbed the thing and pulled, the bottom scraping on the ground. Slightly bothered, he opened it as far as he could before looking into the tunnel beyond and stopping, surprised.

Rika and Hanyuu looked equally stupefied.

Yukiteru was overjoyed, just barely containing himself as he looked to everyone else in excitement, like 'Here he is! Isn't it wonderful?'

Izaya raised his eyebrows, looking unimpressed and maybe a little bit smug. He said, "Long time no see, Akise-kun."

Just slightly, the silver-haired boy smiled his sly, knowing smile. "Likewise," he said.


	72. The Prisoner

**Sorry for not updating yesterday! May is here, and with May comes project deadlines and finals. I wish luck to all of you, and hope you enjoy this month's chapter!**

* * *

There'd been nothing left for him to do. Celty was dead, and Minene was dying. The house beside him was catching fire from the grenades that had gone off. Akise had no weapon. Yato was before him, death in his eyes and Nora in his hands.

The silver-haired one jumped backwards in anticipation of the slash he knew was coming. The blade skidded over his bulletproof vest, and he began to chuckle. _I'm going to die._ He knew that the next blow would surely end him. "This is alright, Yato-san." A storm brewed overhead. Akise had already accepted his fate, and Yato could see it in his rose eyes. Even in the ice he breathed, Yato felt a little bit of relief. Was that what it was? Relief? Maybe not, but looking into such warm but knowing eyes somehow validated his choice. Yato had made his decision, and Akise didn't seem to judge him as right or wrong; rather, he accepted it fully. Yato said nothing, but lifted his sword.

Just slightly, a half-smile touched Akise's pale lips. His voice was smooth. "As long as Yukiteru-kun makes it, I—"

The blade came.

Yato slashed into empty air. He halted, eyes flying wide. _What?_ He wheeled around – where could he have _gone_? He was only human, wasn't he? He couldn't move that fast…!

But he wasn't behind him, or anywhere. He was just…

…gone. He didn't want to lower his guard, and so he slowly took a few paces backwards, staring in disbelief. Nora tremored in his hands.

Akise stood still, a hand over his mouth and arms pulled tight behind him, fingers gripping his wrists together like a vice. " _Shhh_ ," hushed the voice of whoever had grabbed him, yanking him backwards just in time to save his life. The boy detective had figured out pretty quickly that Yato couldn't see him or his captor, but Akise didn't feel like he was out of the woods quite yet. He did not struggle – there was no point. It was hard to gauge whether the one who'd grabbed him was here to help or hurt him, but judging from the fact that he was now invisible to Yato, he'd begun figuring that the person holding onto him wasn't a game player.

He watched as Yato eventually left to give Izaya his dues. He felt his wrists getting freed, the hand uncovering his mouth. Akise figured this was his cue to turn around and look at this person, and did so. There stood the master with the backpack and green-and-white baseball cap, adjusting his orange-rimmed glasses as he peered at a pocket watch he opened with a click.

Tilting his head, Akise stuck his hands in his pockets. A smile played on his lips – he recognized this description from Yukiteru; he knew who this was. "I don't suppose you're Rodd?"

"Your time's up," he said flatly. His tone was final. Harsh.

Akise's smile became a frown. "…What do you mean?"

"Your job's done." The presumed game master closed the pocket watch again, looking at the silver-haired one. His eyes glowed purple, wide and blank. "You're not a player in this game, Aru Akise. Like saying that I'm not a player. I _am_ Rodd, by the way. You know me. How swell."

"What do you mean I'm not a player?" Akise asked slowly, carefully. "Why am I on the playing field?"

Rodd blinked. "Why am _I_ on the playing field?" he shot back.

"To take me _off_ the playing field?" guessed Akise, eyebrows arching.

"…Sort of." He adjusted the rim of his hat, luminescent eyes glancing over to the house catching fire as they spoke. "I'm on a mission. I'm doing as I'm told. Just like you."

"I'm not acting on anyone's will but my own," Akise said coolly, his rose eyes narrowing. "I—"

"That's what everyone says," Rodd said dismissively. "Seraph. Rainbow. Yourself. The players, too. Every one of you is wrong." He paused. "Regrettably," he added, as if remembering politeness as an afterthought.

Akise wasn't entirely sure how to take this claim just yet, so he shifted his weight, choosing his words carefully. This was a game master, huh? He was trying to analyze him, but this Rodd person was a pretty tough subject. "Well…" _I can't say he intends to kill me,_ thought Akise, eyeing him. _Is he going to just send me home? What job is he saying is done?_ Akise couldn't quite tell why yet, but a sick sort of feeling began to settle in his gut. "Thank you, then."

"Hm?" Rodd glanced at him, hands in his pockets. He'd been staring, wide-eyed, off to somewhere beyond Akise.

"You know." Cautious, Akise pulled out his notebook and pencil. "For saving my life."

"What are you pulling that out for?" asked Rodd.

Akise smiled mildly, innocent. "I just wanted to jot down a thought about you, Game Master Rodd."

Rodd looked directly above Akise, and Akise felt the coldness of premonition. "You don't need that anymore," said the timekeeper, and Akise turned to face behind him too late – a large arm knocked his notebook from him and suddenly a tall, bald man with a sinister-looking goatee had him by the roots of his silver hair. He stared into him with narrowed violet eyes. His eye sockets were dark and sunken; the bags on his lower lids were deep and dark, though his pupils were both deeper and darker.

" _You will come with me._ "

Akise saw his lips move, and heard his low voice. He didn't remember what came next, only the recollection that he was suddenly in a well-lit, well-furnished, high-ceilinged room with a lush purple rug underfoot. The boy detective blinked, lost. He felt as though perhaps he should be frightened, but he was not a boy who knew fear. He worked well for himself, his eyes taking in every detail he could examine from his standpoint.

He was a detective. It didn't matter if he was the one at the center of the case – he would treat this mystery just the same as any other. This room was alarmingly cluttered with _things_ – it seemed to be a full living space, a kitchen just barely in his peripheral vision at his right, a bedding area at his far left… There was an entertainment center, video game consoles, and two laptops that were set on a coffee table that was decorated with miniature figurines. He was mildly alarmed… and extremely intrigued to find that he recognized some of the figurines: he was quite positive that there was one of Celty and Izaya, respectively. There were posters on the walls that Akise didn't have the chance to look at because what drew more of his attention were the two that were staring at him, both with the same purple eyes.

"Akise!" said one of them. Their hair was of a fluffy nature, purple at the roots and fading into every color of the rainbow. There was a grey kerchief tied about their neck – Akise found it reminiscent of the scarf that Yato once wore. "You brought _Akise!_ Can we keep him?"

At their side was another one, running a hand through hair of a darker silver than Akise's own hair – more grey than silver, perhaps? It was hair that was swept over green-rimmed spectacles. This one wore a kerchief too, but theirs was rainbow in color. An eerie smile touched their mouth, a mischievous sparkle in their eyes. "Akise…," they repeated.

" _Durden!_ " cried the rainbow-haired one. "Why didn't you bring _two_?! We coulda put them in the yaoi room!"

The silver-grey-haired one stifled a laugh.

"I don't really feel like watching gay sex," Durden said casually. It sounded like he was still behind Akise. "Maybe some other night."

"You don't have to watch," offered the grey-silver-haired one.

"Yeah," agreed the other. "No one said you had to."

The grey-silver-haired one quirked an eyebrow, playful. "You could always _partake_ , Durden—try something new~"

He burst into a full cackle, then stopped short. "Ah… no." He went over and snatched a snack bar from the table, at which the rainbow-haired one gave an abrupt, " _Oh,_ " and the grey-silver-haired one laughed. Durden tossed the snack bar to Akise, who caught it.

The one so out of place gave a thin smile to the game masters around him. He could only assume they were game masters. He was a level-headed person; he would remain calm. "I'm sorry, you appear to already know me. Would it be rude to ask for introductions?"

The grey-silver-haired one began to speak, but was cut off by the rainbow-haired one, standing up abruptly from the luxurious couch they rested on. "I'm Rainbow, and that's Greyson."

The one called Greyson sunk in their spot on the couch, looking slightly sour.

"You may call me Durden," said the bald one, flashing a grin and giving a short bow.

"Are we keeping him?" Rainbow asked Durden tentatively. "Or does Muse want him? Because if they do, then it's fine."

Akise only watched and observed. It was the best thing to do – he had no grips in this situation.

Durden nodded. "We're sticking him in the cell down the hall. They'll be under your care, though Rodd 'n I'll come and check up on him."

"Can we _play_ with him?" asked Greyson, folding their fingers together hopefully. The look on their face suggested sadistic glee.

" _Greyson_ ," said Rainbow, stern.

Durden chuckled.

The one with the most colorful hair straightened. "I'll take good care of him."

 _They sound like they're talking about getting themselves their first pet._ Akise looked down at the snack in his hand – it was a granola bar with a yogurt-coated bottom. Strawberry. _This situation is more concerning by the moment._ "Pardon me," he spoke up, and the three game masters looked at him. "I don't understand why I'm being placed in a cell." He smiled kindly. "Did I do something wrong?" _I should test the waters, at least a little bit_.

The three masters all turned to one another. Rainbow looked blank, Greyson amused, and Durden scrutinizing. "Come with me," said the bald one.

 _Oh dear,_ he thought mildly. "Of course." He smiled gently at the others. "Pleasure to meet you, Greyson and Rainbow."

"The pleasure is _ours_ ," piped up Greyson, touching their fingertips together in steeple formation. By now Durden was gesturing for Akise to follow him, looking particularly dark. The shadows under his eyes were even more pronounced. Akise didn't waste any time, pocketing his snack bar and following after the bald game master.

They entered through a door that closed behind them – Akise was at high awareness of where they were heading and where they came from. He found it incredibly suspicious that he couldn't recall coming here, though logically speaking, he should find the exit in the direction they were coming from now… He touched his chin, distinctly bothered.

"Durden-san, could I ask—?"

"Ah-ah-ah," Durden halted him, holding up his hand. He turned, leaning into Akise's personal space, intimidating as ever. " _Don't_ —call me Durden-san. It's just Durden. Understand?"

Akise raised his eyebrows. "…I'm sorry. Durden, then." He watched the game master unlock a door, examining how he did it. An eye recognition scanner… Now, that would be hard to break out of…

"…Oh, come on," Durden frowned as the scanner flashed yellow in the negative and beeped harshly at him. Rolling his purple eyes, he unhooked some keys from the belt loop of his dark jeans. "I don't know why I even bother," he said, unlocking the door with a silver key and looking to Akise as he opened it and gestured inside. "After you," he smiled coldly.

It was in that room he was kept for the next two days: one wall held screens that they were kind enough (or cruel enough) to turn on to let him watch the games. He was given only the screens and a cushion for furnishings, unless you counted the dishes and silverware that were given him for every meal. He knew the time of day from the screens, and also by who came to visit. For each meal, Rainbow would stop in to feed him, frequently sticking around to chat aimlessly with the captive. Their talk was pleasant, but Akise couldn't help but be bothered by how casual the conversations were. Granted, he found Rainbow was easy to get information out of. Maybe it was because they sympathized with him, maybe because they pitied him, maybe they didn't like the game either… Maybe they just didn't think about it. He couldn't tell.

It was from Rainbow that Akise learned of all the masters, and their names: Rodd, timing; Durden, plot; Seraph, depth; Aureus, symbolism; themselves and Greyson, connections and disconnections, respectively. Muse, they said, was just Muse. "You know," said Rainbow as if it were obvious. "Like, an author."

At night, Greyson would knock and enter. The first of two occurrences of this, Akise was quite surprised. Here was when deeper conversation was held, in the dead of night when the moon was high and stars had gone through much of their visible rotation. Akise had just watched Izaya's deterioration, watched him strain and break. Watched him scream, and weep… He was human, after all.

In the silence that followed, Akise's watchful eye on the screen showing the formation of an alliance between A-ya and Nora, Greyson had come. Akise was leaning in to catch the details of what was going on between the possessed one and the jaded spirit – that was right, who _was_ Hiyori's murderer? – when he heard a knock on the door, turning in time to see it open. Greyson slipped in, smiling rather tentatively for someone who showed off sadism. "Some show," they said, and Akise frowned at them. "I've been waiting so long to see Izaya break…"

"What are you doing here?" Akise asked coolly.

"I'm… uh…" Greyson nervously tugged at their rainbow kerchief, wrapped around their neck. "I was really excited about it, but I don't know who to talk to about it. Rain talked for a little bit, but now they're sleeping. I couldn't."

Akise looked into them with narrowed eyes, suspicious. Why were they acting so anxious?

"I don't want to bother you…"

He closed his eyes. "I have nothing but time. I'd love to talk to somebody."

Relief washed over Greyson's face, brow furrowed. "…Really?"

The boy detective gestured vaguely. "Sit down, if you want. I don't have anywhere for you but floor; I hope you forgive me."

Greyson laughed weakly, and obliged. They straightened their black vest, concealing a purple t-shirt. "I… thanks."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"I, I know you don't really have a choice… Haha… But, um…"

"What is it, Greyson? Trust me, I want to hear everything there is to hear." He spread his arms, half-shrugging. "Even if it's secret, who can I tell?"

"Hah… true…" Sighing, Greyson took off their green-rimmed spectacles, pinching the bridge of their nose and massaging the area with thumb and forefinger. They looked so exhausted. "I don't feel so good," they said weakly.

"Are you one of the masters against the game?" Akise made himself more comfortable, shifting on his cushion so that he could lean back on the palms of his hands.

Greyson averted their eyes. "No. It's fun." They ran a hand through their grey-silver hair. "I like when things go wrong. I just—something's not right, and I don't know _what_ …"

He raised his eyebrows. "If something isn't right, then it may well be wrong, though, Greyson. I'm not quite following… You just said you liked when things went wrong."

Greyson closed their eyes, looking to be holding back some kind of emotion. It looked more sorrowful than angry. "I—know. But it doesn't feel like that."

"Out of curiosity, why are you coming to me about this?"

"I can't go to _Rainbow_ ," they huffed, turning their face away from the other. They paused, hesitating. "…I just… can't. Seraph is gone. Aureus… I can't, not over the phone. I don't know how to approach Durden. Rodd… is hard to hold conversation with, as much as I admire him. And Muse just isn't who we think they are."

Now his interest was sparked. "…Oh? What do you mean?"

Greyson looked at him with tearful eyes, now glowing a striking emerald. "I'm going to tell you everything I can think of. You'd be able to figure it out better than I could."

Akise stared into those eyes of jade. _Curious…_ "If you say so," he said. "I'd love to listen to all you have."

So, Greyson went on to explain anything and everything that occurred to them, and Akise absorbed every word, his eyes focused on the game master, all of his attention on the information he was being given: the room he was in right now once belonged to Aureus, or so it seemed, because his name was on the sign outside the door. Grey couldn't remember it ever being his room, as all they could remember was that Aureus had _always_ been stuck underground, incapable of leaving. But there was more than one game that had occurred, where Grey could only remember the current route. They didn't know what that meant, per se, but they admitted they didn't like that they didn't _know_ as much as they felt they should. They told Akise about their lack of recollections – that is, they couldn't _remember_ anything, really, not since before the game began. All they could gather was a sense that it was how it had always been, but what did that mean? Grey had recently noticed their broken watch, frozen at 12:30, and fretted over the reason they hadn't _noticed_. Every time they tried to bring it up to Rainbow, they changed the subject as if it were unimportant or as if they wanted to avoid it. Seraph seemed to kind of know that something was wrong, and was the one who had insisted upon her theory that "Muse was not Muse," if that were possible. Greyson admitted that they had noticed something wrong, too – even for knowing "how it had always been," Grey felt as though they were lacking something whenever Muse did come to the lower levels to visit. They also had suspicions that Aureus knew what was going on – "And what if that's why he isn't in the tower anymore? Because he _knows_?"

Greyson told Akise about how yes, Aureus had been found by Yukiteru, A-ya, and Celty, as it had been claimed. Shintaro and Roppi had also found him, and Aureus had given them information and items, accordingly. They told him about the Harrowing Blade, and bringing back Konoha and consequently Kuroha… about how Kuroha wasn't supposed to possess A-ya originally, but after Aureus had intervened where he shouldn't have, Kuroha had been redirected by Muse. Grey told him about Rodd, and how he sent Yukiteru forward in time – the only reason that Yukki recognized Akise was because of Rodd. They told him about Durden, and his hand in multitudes of situations throughout the game, most notably his hand in making Yato snap again, consequently getting Celty and Minene killed. They told him about Seraph, and how she had made her move to save Seidou through Roppi. How Muse had gotten Roppi killed by Seidou as a consequence. At least Seidou was saved? Well… sort of. Now he was with Shintaro, but Shintaro was harrowed, so what use was that?

Greyson talked about Light Yagami, and why he bothered them. It wasn't necessarily that Light was an asshat that totally had what came to him… but rather, that Greyson had no idea what happened to him after he went through the cemetery gates. Apparently, there were no cameras in the cemetery.

Greyson admitted to Akise that even Rodd had brought up a discrepancy in the 'script.' According to him, Roppi was supposed to make it to the end, having been correlated with Seraph. Supposedly Yato had been correlated with Durden, and should make it from here – but they'd just have to see whether _that_ would happen. There was also rumor going around among the masters that Greyson was correlated with Shinichi, which Grey _supposed_ made sense.

Akise had tilted his head in question. A correlation between player and master? Making it to the end? There were to be eight winners, Grey explained, one for each game master.

"But I thought there were seven of you?" he'd said, and Grey stared at him, wide-eyed, eyes still shining green.

"You're _right._ Oh my god, why are there eight winners? What if one of us _died?_ " They pressed their hands to their cheeks. "That would be so _interesting!_ …I mean, it would be horrible, especially since I can't remember them at all… Aha…" They scratched at their temple, uncomfortable.

Akise thought of his theory of the traitor. If Aureus was already the 'traitor,' what would be worse than 'knowing the Truth'? He smiled slightly. "Is it that you think of all of this like a story?"

"Huh? Yeah, I guess so…" They paused, distracted. "…You're wonderful, you know that, Akise? I've always wanted to have a conversation with you."

"'Always' doesn't sound like very long coming from someone who only remembers the past week or so of their life."

"That's a good point, I guess…" They shifted. "So, um… Sorry for dumping all of that on you. I haven't really been able to talk about it with anyone… but like, I knew that you'd _want_ to hear it, I guess, so…"

"Yes, thank you," Akise nodded. "Trust me, there's no need to apologize for any of this… You're absolutely correct – I am more than willing to listen. I've wanted to know the truth about all of this since the moment I came into this game… Hm…" He touched his chin. _Me, a seeker of truth… Isn't that what Muse_ doesn't _want? Then…_ He closed his eyes, sighing lightly.

"But… How can you even trust me, anyway? Since I'm a game master, and you know that."

Akise thought about this. "I leave room for doubt whenever I find new information. Whether you're being honest with me or not, much of what you're giving fits into the puzzle I'm trying to piece together. And many of your reactions at least _seem_ genuine." He smiled his knowing smile, somehow warm. "And besides, Greyson… Do you really think it matters whether I unearth the truth now? I'm your prisoner; there's not much else I can do but play detective alone."

Greyson looked at Akise, visage apologetic. They looked away. "That's right…" They half-laughed, bringing a hand to their face. "You're stuck here too, I already wasn't even thinking of that… again… It's not like you have any choice, of course. And me, well… I'm someone who breaks things apart, you know? It's what I'm made to do. I could make Yukiteru forget about you like everyone else just forgot about Izaya. But as fun as it would be to watch you suffer alone, I don't want _Yukki_ forgetting about _you_ … That's no fun. I want him to know that you're alive but out of reach. I want him to be torn apart from the inside out… because he couldn't save who he wanted to… and he'd have to _choose_ … between you and A-ya…" They laughed breathily, and lowered their hand, grinning at Akise. The boy detective stared back into eyes that were purple again. "You're right. You really _can't_ do anything else. Isn't that wonderful? You're stuck here, just like the rest of us…!"

Calmly, Akise folded his fingers together, contemplating the shift in eye color. "I wouldn't be too sure, Greyson. I'm not one to give up. I'll get the truth to Yukiteru-kun somehow." His eyes narrowed, flickering with cold fire. "Even if I were dead, I would still get the message across."

Greyson put their glasses back on their face, smiling lopsidedly. "You're so sweet. I admire your determination and dedication. I don't know if I could live up to it, myself." With this, they got to their feet, stretching their stiff legs. "Thank you. I think I'll be able to get to sleep now. I'm exhausted."

Akise, however, did not sleep much. He lay on the floor with his cushion as a pillow, staring into all of the screens and consequently into the restless nights of everyone else he'd left to remain on the playing field. _No use feeling guilty… Though this sense of helplessness… is discouraging._

 _There has to be some way to tell the players what's going on._ He recalled his notebook, and how it had fallen into the grass. Looking into the screen depicting Izaya's tormented yet slumbering figure, Akise felt a spark. _I need someone to find my notebook. That alone, would be enough…_

 _Please… Izaya-san… become my prophet._

Durden came to him the next day, early in the morning. He sat up quickly upon the opening of the door. Akise didn't recall ever getting to sleep, but he noticed that on-screen, Izaya was up now, and had Akise's notebook in hand. Akise felt his mouth upturn despite himself. It was then that Durden gave him a teal cellphone, just like the one Akise had had at home. Akise accepted it, but looked at Durden with suspicion. Durden didn't seem to want to answer any questions, and left again without much explanation.

Akise futzed with his phone, getting as much out of it as he could. He only had one contact – _Yukiteru-kun… but he doesn't have his phone, so what am I…?_ – and he couldn't make any calls. He discovered he could write messages, and attempted to send one to Yukki only to have a return message bounce back, claiming that the number was out of service.

He kept watching the screens, too. He didn't know what to make of Yukiteru downing the forest, and was absolutely _itching_ to get the hell out of there, knowing that Yukiteru thought that he'd betrayed him. _I'll prove it wrong… Don't worry…_

He found he wasn't hungry for the lunch that Rainbow offered him, but they left it in the room anyway.

The cellphone could receive calls, he found. He answered an obscure phone call and got caught up in a two-hour-long conversation with Aureus, interchanging with Seraph. "Hi! Akise! I get to _talk_ to you! _Hi!_ "

Aureus seemed like an excitable guy.

Throughout the conversation, Akise kept his eyes on the screens – he was grateful for the conversation, long-winded though it was. Through him and through Seraph, he confirmed a lot of information that he'd attained through Rainbow or Greyson, as well as learned Seraph and Aureus's side of the story. After learning about Aureus's struggle to protect the ones he'd met with underground, and his rebellion against Muse centering around Kiritsugu Emiya, and how everything was falling apart for him now… After hearing Seraph's frantic exclamations of injustice for Yukine, and Roppi, and Seidou, and Yato… And how yes, she had intervened, but it was completely called for and justified because Muse was obviously _cheating_ and probably deserved to _die…_

…Indeed, after all this, Aureus explained that he was the one that had gotten the cellphone delivered to Akise via Durden. Akise listened with interest to Seraph's sudden silence and subsequent clearly expressed distrust of Durden and where he stood. The items master assured the captive that there would better use for the cellphone soon, he was sure of it.

And not all that long after he got off the phone with Aureus and Seraph, he was proven right. Yukiteru got his deep blue cellphone courtesy of the items module that Izaya had shown him, and Akise decided that he was more grateful to that informant than he thought he'd ever be. Watching the scene with contained hope, Akise snapped from his concern for Yukiteru and hastily typed out the simplest message he could think of: [I'm still alive.]

Watching what happened after, he was immensely relieved to see that it sent, but of course neither Yukiteru nor Izaya knew who it was sending the message. Akise decided that his next message would have to be very carefully worded and precise. He needed to somehow ensure that Yukki believed it was him. It took him some time to formulate this, as Yukiteru and Izaya wandered off together, musing about the message and half-conversing with one another, getting tea… Eventually, he felt satisfied enough to send the next message.

[It's Akise. I know this doesn't make a whole ton of sense, Yukiteru-kun, but please bear with me. I'm as of yet unable to explain my current situation, but I trust you to find me at some time in the future. I fear you may doubt me, but at this point I would also understand your distrust. In any case, I've come to the understanding that Izaya Orihara is in possession of my notebook. This is fine. I'm sure he'll make use of it. Due to his current circumstance, you don't know who he is. I am telling you to be wary of him, but on that note, his goals right now aren't of necessarily ill will. I'm sorry I can't be at your side right now, but this is the best I can do. From where I am, I'll do my best to protect you. Please don't stray too far. I trust you'll make the right choice in the end. Until then, I will try to maintain contact like this. I'm sorry for this inconvenience… and I regret being unable to save Minene-san and Celty-san. I can only hope that you and Rika-chan can make it out. I believe you can, Yukiteru-kun.]

For the time, it was enough.

Even though Yukiteru couldn't answer him, Akise could observe his reactions through the screens. Gradually, Akise leaked as much information as he could think to, telling Yukiteru about the game masters and what they represented. He gave him all he could. The only concern that Akise could not quell was the purpose of the game masters willingly giving him this cellphone. It just seemed too easy.

That evening, Rodd came. Immediately, Akise flipped his phone screen shut. "I bet you're wondering," he said, "why we're doing this. I bet you'd like to know the truth."

Akise only frowned at him, eyes narrowing just slightly.

The timekeeper pocketed his hands, expressionless. "That isn't to say that I'll tell you. Really, I'm just coming to check up on you. Leaving anybody in isolation for too long is unethical." Rodd's mouth upturned just slightly at the irony, if only for a moment. Pushing up the glasses on his face, Rodd turned back to the door, making the glass shine with the glare. "I've been sent on a mission, I'll have you know. I use the past tense, but I actually mean that I will be sent on one in the near future. I don't make sense sometimes. I take pride in this." He paused. "Anyway, nothing goes past Muse without them knowing. What I'm saying is… well, I guess you can figure it out yourself. You're pretty smart."

Akise thought of the cellphone in his hand, his jaw tightening. So was it that Muse didn't want that communication going on after all? Then why hadn't they stopped it yet…?

"You've got a front seat to the show," the game master continued, "so it's kind of pointless if you end up losing that privilege." Rodd stuck one hand in his jacket pocket, using the other to pull his cap just a bit lower over his forehead. His spectacles were cast in shadow. "I guess it doesn't matter what you do, anyway. In the end…" – from his pocket he raised his pocket watch, ticking softly – "…nothing really matters at all. All things are just concepts, really. Don't think too hard on that, or you may come to doubt your own existence. I do that from time to time. But I think all of us do."

Rodd turned from him, repocketing his watch and holding the doorknob of the open portal with a pause that held something that could have been reverence. For what, Akise couldn't tell for sure. He wondered if he felt the same sort of vague doubt as Greyson. "We're all more fragile than you think. You're the same. Everyone else, too. But actually… I have to admit…" Rodd paused, and the silence filled the spaces with an unidentifiable apprehension. "It's okay, because I like purple after all."

Akise stared at the closed door for some time, hand to his chin. There was so much to glean from this… But…

He tried to warn Yukiteru, but it was too late.

But he watched as everything progressed, and he accepted the dinner Rainbow offered him, talked to Greyson in the dead of night, and was pleasantly surprised by Rainbow purposefully leaving the door unlocked for him the next morning. Perhaps Rainbow, too, knew what was wrong here, whether or not they acknowledged it on the surface.

 _That is, unless it's in Muse's interest to have me escape… but…?_ He knew something was wrong, but knew not what.

After time enough had passed, Akise slipped out, following Rainbow's instructions. He kept his cellphone on him, following the designated tunnel out of the tower, stopping at the door that led out. It did not yield to his attempts to open it. Pressing an ear to it, he heard only silence.

All that was left was to wait.


End file.
